
I’m a loser I lose all the time I get my butt kicked by people with more Skills
butt kicked by people with more Skills
butt kicked by people with more Skills than me more training than me I find
than me more training than me I find
than me more training than me I find myself in situations I can’t figure out
myself in situations I can’t figure out
myself in situations I can’t figure out a way you know a way out of I have to
a way you know a way out of I have to
a way you know a way out of I have to start over all the time to the point
start over all the time to the point
start over all the time to the point where I just want to give up but I don’t
where I just want to give up but I don’t
where I just want to give up but I don’t because you see I’m a gamer so even
because you see I’m a gamer so even
because you see I’m a gamer so even though I lose all the time I’ve gotten
though I lose all the time I’ve gotten
though I lose all the time I’ve gotten to save the world I’ve stopped the
to save the world I’ve stopped the
to save the world I’ve stopped the zombie apocalypse I’ve like found that
zombie apocalypse I’ve like found that
zombie apocalypse I’ve like found that ancient artifact that controls the
ancient artifact that controls the
ancient artifact that controls the universe so in gaming I’ve had such a
universe so in gaming I’ve had such a
universe so in gaming I’ve had such a profound purpose something that’s bigger
profound purpose something that’s bigger
profound purpose something that’s bigger than myself
than myself
than myself and that has ended up translating over
and that has ended up translating over
and that has ended up translating over to my real life so in my real life I
to my real life so in my real life I
to my real life so in my real life I have so much passion and purpose and
have so much passion and purpose and
have so much passion and purpose and meaning and adventure and I’m gonna tell
meaning and adventure and I’m gonna tell
meaning and adventure and I’m gonna tell you how this all happened
you how this all happened
you how this all happened so I’m from Chicago’s South Side and if
so I’m from Chicago’s South Side and if
so I’m from Chicago’s South Side and if any of you guys are familiar with
any of you guys are familiar with
any of you guys are familiar with Chicago you might know that we have some
Chicago you might know that we have some
Chicago you might know that we have some problems like violence lack of
problems like violence lack of
problems like violence lack of opportunities a lack of resources I you
opportunities a lack of resources I you
opportunities a lack of resources I you know needless to say I wasn’t going
know needless to say I wasn’t going
know needless to say I wasn’t going outside a whole lot and I was super
outside a whole lot and I was super
outside a whole lot and I was super introverted as well so I didn’t have a
introverted as well so I didn’t have a
introverted as well so I didn’t have a lot of friends and you know if I wanted
lot of friends and you know if I wanted
lot of friends and you know if I wanted to watch TV I didn’t see a lot of people
to watch TV I didn’t see a lot of people
to watch TV I didn’t see a lot of people that represented me like I didn’t see a
that represented me like I didn’t see a
that represented me like I didn’t see a whole bunch of you know super smart
whole bunch of you know super smart
whole bunch of you know super smart badass superheroes you know like black
badass superheroes you know like black
badass superheroes you know like black women just weren’t represented like that
women just weren’t represented like that
women just weren’t represented like that back in the day so it kind of left me
back in the day so it kind of left me
back in the day so it kind of left me feeling insignificant a lot of the times
feeling insignificant a lot of the times
feeling insignificant a lot of the times I just didn’t have a whole lot but what
I just didn’t have a whole lot but what
I just didn’t have a whole lot but what I did have was a very loving family and
I did have was a very loving family and
I did have was a very loving family and books and video games so all my older
books and video games so all my older
books and video games so all my older brothers video games because you know
brothers video games because you know
brothers video games because you know girls don’t play video games
girls don’t play video games
girls don’t play video games you remember that when so I’m yeah I
you remember that when so I’m yeah I
you remember that when so I’m yeah I actually didn’t like video games all
actually didn’t like video games all
actually didn’t like video games all that much you see when I was playing
that much you see when I was playing
that much you see when I was playing with my older brother he was like my
with my older brother he was like my
with my older brother he was like my best friend and my only playmate at the
best friend and my only playmate at the
best friend and my only playmate at the time so you know if I wasn’t playing
time so you know if I wasn’t playing
time so you know if I wasn’t playing video games with him who was I gonna
video games with him who was I gonna
video games with him who was I gonna play with so what it what it started off
play with so what it what it started off
play with so what it what it started off as is me watching him play and you guys
as is me watching him play and you guys
as is me watching him play and you guys know how exciting that is to watch
know how exciting that is to watch
know how exciting that is to watch somebody else play games and then it was
somebody else play games and then it was
somebody else play games and then it was always playing games that he could beat
always playing games that he could beat
always playing games that he could beat me at like Street Fighter so I would
me at like Street Fighter so I would
me at like Street Fighter so I would lose all the time over and over again
lose all the time over and over again
lose all the time over and over again and I almost accepted this I’m just like
and I almost accepted this I’m just like
and I almost accepted this I’m just like he’s a boy he’s older than me he’s just
he’s a boy he’s older than me he’s just
he’s a boy he’s older than me he’s just gonna beat me at everything and so then
gonna beat me at everything and so then
gonna beat me at everything and so then I should stop trying but you know what
I should stop trying but you know what
I should stop trying but you know what something happened I was just like I’m
something happened I was just like I’m
something happened I was just like I’m gonna break these unspoken rules these
gonna break these unspoken rules these
gonna break these unspoken rules these are not going this is not gonna be how
are not going this is not gonna be how
are not going this is not gonna be how I’m gonna live my life I’m gonna be that
I’m gonna live my life I’m gonna be that
I’m gonna live my life I’m gonna be that girl that beats her older brother at
girl that beats her older brother at
girl that beats her older brother at videogames you see as a player you have
videogames you see as a player you have
videogames you see as a player you have to lose probably hundreds of that or
to lose probably hundreds of that or
to lose probably hundreds of that or thousands of times before you have that
thousands of times before you have that
thousands of times before you have that epic win so you’re way more loser than
epic win so you’re way more loser than
epic win so you’re way more loser than you are winner when you’re playing a
you are winner when you’re playing a
you are winner when you’re playing a game and but the thing why is my goal
game and but the thing why is my goal
game and but the thing why is my goal was to beat my older brother so it
was to beat my older brother so it
was to beat my older brother so it didn’t matter how many times I was gonna
didn’t matter how many times I was gonna
didn’t matter how many times I was gonna lose it didn’t matter how many times I
lose it didn’t matter how many times I
lose it didn’t matter how many times I failed it didn’t matter how long it took
failed it didn’t matter how long it took
failed it didn’t matter how long it took I was going to beat him and that day
I was going to beat him and that day
I was going to beat him and that day came and I kicked his butt and never has
came and I kicked his butt and never has
came and I kicked his butt and never has there been a feeling so magnificent I’m
there been a feeling so magnificent I’m
there been a feeling so magnificent I’m just like yes this is it and that’s when
just like yes this is it and that’s when
just like yes this is it and that’s when I started to really fall in love with
I started to really fall in love with
I started to really fall in love with video games because you see when I
video games because you see when I
video games because you see when I played video games I was able to immerse
played video games I was able to immerse
played video games I was able to immerse myself in this gaming universe I could
myself in this gaming universe I could
myself in this gaming universe I could become a character that was capable of
become a character that was capable of
become a character that was capable of great things solve great mysteries I
great things solve great mysteries I
great things solve great mysteries I mean the fate of the universe was in my
mean the fate of the universe was in my
mean the fate of the universe was in my hands
hands
hands so I can lose however many times it took
so I can lose however many times it took
so I can lose however many times it took to reach that epoch when to you know
to reach that epoch when to you know
to reach that epoch when to you know accomplish that goal but when I turned
accomplish that goal but when I turned
accomplish that goal but when I turned off my console it was back to real life
off my console it was back to real life
off my console it was back to real life where you know I had a neighborhood that
where you know I had a neighborhood that
where you know I had a neighborhood that was riddled with drugs and gun violence
was riddled with drugs and gun violence
was riddled with drugs and gun violence a school where kids were mean to me and
a school where kids were mean to me and
a school where kids were mean to me and I just felt very powerless and back to
I just felt very powerless and back to
I just felt very powerless and back to feeling and insignificant but in video
feeling and insignificant but in video
feeling and insignificant but in video games
games
games I met my toughest childhood foe his name
I met my toughest childhood foe his name
I met my toughest childhood foe his name was psycho menace and the game was Hideo
was psycho menace and the game was Hideo
was psycho menace and the game was Hideo Kojima’s Metal Gear Solid and the thing
Kojima’s Metal Gear Solid and the thing
Kojima’s Metal Gear Solid and the thing about Psycho Mantis is that he can read
about Psycho Mantis is that he can read
about Psycho Mantis is that he can read your mind and me and my brother tried to
your mind and me and my brother tried to
your mind and me and my brother tried to beat him but we just always failed and
beat him but we just always failed and
beat him but we just always failed and no matter what we try I mean we learned
no matter what we try I mean we learned
no matter what we try I mean we learned the rules of the game this this
the rules of the game this this
the rules of the game this this character this enemy came halfway
character this enemy came halfway
character this enemy came halfway through the game and we learned how to
through the game and we learned how to
through the game and we learned how to use stealth how to fight how to use
use stealth how to fight how to use
use stealth how to fight how to use explosives to to get to each level so we
explosives to to get to each level so we
explosives to to get to each level so we leveled up by following the rules but
leveled up by following the rules but
leveled up by following the rules but for some reason none of this worked with
for some reason none of this worked with
for some reason none of this worked with Psycho Mantis and there’s many times as
Psycho Mantis and there’s many times as
Psycho Mantis and there’s many times as we try it and as much as we knew the
we try it and as much as we knew the
we try it and as much as we knew the rules it always ended up in failure does
rules it always ended up in failure does
rules it always ended up in failure does this kind of sound familiar you know it
this kind of sound familiar you know it
this kind of sound familiar you know it kind of like a parallels real-life
kind of like a parallels real-life
kind of like a parallels real-life gaming you know this is active learning
gaming you know this is active learning
gaming you know this is active learning rules winning and losing parallels how
rules winning and losing parallels how
rules winning and losing parallels how we actually proceed in our lives you
we actually proceed in our lives you
we actually proceed in our lives you know ask yourself are you a winner are
know ask yourself are you a winner are
know ask yourself are you a winner are you a loser I mean what is winning
you a loser I mean what is winning
you a loser I mean what is winning really we learn the rules and we know
really we learn the rules and we know
really we learn the rules and we know what that G’s achievements are you know
what that G’s achievements are you know
what that G’s achievements are you know we get that those good grades we land
we get that those good grades we land
we get that those good grades we land that job you know we we get that hot guy
that job you know we we get that hot guy
that job you know we we get that hot guy or girl whatever it is but a lot of
or girl whatever it is but a lot of
or girl whatever it is but a lot of times we get stuck obligated to follow
times we get stuck obligated to follow
times we get stuck obligated to follow these rules so we can have the trappings
these rules so we can have the trappings
these rules so we can have the trappings of a winner but we don’t necessarily
of a winner but we don’t necessarily
of a winner but we don’t necessarily feel like when the reason is because
feel like when the reason is because
feel like when the reason is because sometimes we have to think about what
sometimes we have to think about what
sometimes we have to think about what rules were playing by and what game were
rules were playing by and what game were
rules were playing by and what game were actually playing you see back in the day
actually playing you see back in the day
actually playing you see back in the day when me and my older brother were trying
when me and my older brother were trying
when me and my older brother were trying to beat Psycho Mantis the this whole
to beat Psycho Mantis the this whole
to beat Psycho Mantis the this whole idea of following the rules became
idea of following the rules became
idea of following the rules became something that actually kept us from
something that actually kept us from
something that actually kept us from winning we had to actually start
winning we had to actually start
winning we had to actually start creatively thinking about the problem we
creatively thinking about the problem we
creatively thinking about the problem we had to think of it in different ways so
had to think of it in different ways so
had to think of it in different ways so that maybe we could figure out a way to
that maybe we could figure out a way to
that maybe we could figure out a way to win now you might be asking yourself is
win now you might be asking yourself is
win now you might be asking yourself is this adult woman on stage telling you
this adult woman on stage telling you
this adult woman on stage telling you that all of her success came from
that all of her success came from
that all of her success came from playing video games yes I am I am
playing video games yes I am I am
playing video games yes I am I am telling you that because you see we
telling you that because you see we
telling you that because you see we learn through playing games and we
learn through playing games and we
learn through playing games and we intuitively know this but for some
intuitively know this but for some
intuitively know this but for some reason we don’t believe it our real
reason we don’t believe it our real
reason we don’t believe it our real enemies are the feelings that we’re
enemies are the feelings that we’re
enemies are the feelings that we’re trying to avoid fear failure lack of
trying to avoid fear failure lack of
trying to avoid fear failure lack of purpose
purpose
purpose boredom those are our real enemies and
boredom those are our real enemies and
boredom those are our real enemies and to avoid them we will avoid actually
to avoid them we will avoid actually
to avoid them we will avoid actually playing the game but it’s it’s in the
playing the game but it’s it’s in the
playing the game but it’s it’s in the adventures in the process it’s in losing
adventures in the process it’s in losing
adventures in the process it’s in losing that we’re all truly equals so you might
that we’re all truly equals so you might
that we’re all truly equals so you might be wondering like how how I came in
be wondering like how how I came in
be wondering like how how I came in today if I didn’t ever allow myself to
today if I didn’t ever allow myself to
today if I didn’t ever allow myself to lose I would have never started my own
lose I would have never started my own
lose I would have never started my own company with other geeks and gamers I
company with other geeks and gamers I
company with other geeks and gamers I would have never fought robots in real
would have never fought robots in real
would have never fought robots in real life I would never even be on stage
life I would never even be on stage
life I would never even be on stage right now and talking to all of you at a
right now and talking to all of you at a
right now and talking to all of you at a TEDx talk and it’s because I was at
TEDx talk and it’s because I was at
TEDx talk and it’s because I was at videogames gave me the capacity to
videogames gave me the capacity to
videogames gave me the capacity to critically think about a problem and
critically think about a problem and
critically think about a problem and allow myself to lose and allow myself to
allow myself to lose and allow myself to
allow myself to lose and allow myself to learn and grow
learn and grow
learn and grow in the adventure and you might be
in the adventure and you might be
in the adventure and you might be wondering how me and my brother actually
wondering how me and my brother actually
wondering how me and my brother actually did beat Psycho Mantis yeah you see he’s
did beat Psycho Mantis yeah you see he’s
did beat Psycho Mantis yeah you see he’s a telepath and we had the first
a telepath and we had the first
a telepath and we had the first playercontroller but if you unplug the
playercontroller but if you unplug the
playercontroller but if you unplug the controller and put in the second player
controller and put in the second player
controller and put in the second player port Psycho Mantis couldn’t read your
port Psycho Mantis couldn’t read your
port Psycho Mantis couldn’t read your mind so then we’re on a level playing
mind so then we’re on a level playing
mind so then we’re on a level playing field he didn’t know what I was doing
field he didn’t know what I was doing
field he didn’t know what I was doing we didn’t know what he was doing and
we didn’t know what he was doing and
we didn’t know what he was doing and basically sometimes all you need all the
basically sometimes all you need all the
basically sometimes all you need all the loser needs to win is a level playing
loser needs to win is a level playing
loser needs to win is a level playing field thank you
”
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