June 19th last year was Father’s Day throughout
last year was Father’s Day throughout
last year was Father’s Day throughout the world people were celebrating their
the world people were celebrating their
the world people were celebrating their fathers I too had posted a picture of my
fathers I too had posted a picture of my
fathers I too had posted a picture of my father on Facebook but little did I know
father on Facebook but little did I know
father on Facebook but little did I know then that within the next few hours
then that within the next few hours
then that within the next few hours my father is going to die naturally I
my father is going to die naturally I
my father is going to die naturally I was very shocked and I can still not
was very shocked and I can still not
was very shocked and I can still not reconcile with the idea of not having
reconcile with the idea of not having
reconcile with the idea of not having that pillar of strength in my life
that pillar of strength in my life
that pillar of strength in my life almost a year later here at Goodenough
almost a year later here at Goodenough
almost a year later here at Goodenough College a place which hosts more than 80
College a place which hosts more than 80
College a place which hosts more than 80 nationalities I would like to celebrate
nationalities I would like to celebrate
nationalities I would like to celebrate my father with all of you my life
my father with all of you my life
my father with all of you my life journey starts from a small village in
journey starts from a small village in
journey starts from a small village in Pakistan
Pakistan
Pakistan it’s called pinned no sherry Han that’s
it’s called pinned no sherry Han that’s
it’s called pinned no sherry Han that’s where I was born raised and I’ve lived
where I was born raised and I’ve lived
where I was born raised and I’ve lived there all my life I live in the village
there all my life I live in the village
there all my life I live in the village practice law in Islamabad and currently
practice law in Islamabad and currently
practice law in Islamabad and currently I’m studying international politics as
I’m studying international politics as
I’m studying international politics as ash evening scholar here in London
ash evening scholar here in London
ash evening scholar here in London living this triple life the rural life
living this triple life the rural life
living this triple life the rural life urban life and the Western life and
urban life and the Western life and
urban life and the Western life and maintaining my distinct identity in the
maintaining my distinct identity in the
maintaining my distinct identity in the process was not easy but I think I’ve
process was not easy but I think I’ve
process was not easy but I think I’ve managed somehow I grew up in an
managed somehow I grew up in an
managed somehow I grew up in an environment where cultural values like
environment where cultural values like
environment where cultural values like chartered which is the head scarf and
chartered which is the head scarf and
chartered which is the head scarf and charred Avadi or confinement of women
charred Avadi or confinement of women
charred Avadi or confinement of women within the four corners of the house are
within the four corners of the house are
within the four corners of the house are deeply embedded women do not have an
deeply embedded women do not have an
deeply embedded women do not have an agency of their own and whatever life
agency of their own and whatever life
agency of their own and whatever life choices they make they are associated
choices they make they are associated
choices they make they are associated with the honor of the family the
with the honor of the family the
with the honor of the family the community and the tribe
community and the tribe
community and the tribe I’m often told that you were born with
I’m often told that you were born with
I’m often told that you were born with the privilege because of the fact of
the privilege because of the fact of
the privilege because of the fact of your social status and the financial
your social status and the financial
your social status and the financial means you could afford quality education
means you could afford quality education
means you could afford quality education and therefore your life experiences
and therefore your life experiences
and therefore your life experiences cannot be related by other women in that
cannot be related by other women in that
cannot be related by other women in that community I agree
community I agree
community I agree finances are important but people often
finances are important but people often
finances are important but people often do not understand that the same
do not understand that the same
do not understand that the same privilege can at times also be a
privilege can at times also be a
privilege can at times also be a liability I come not only from a
liability I come not only from a
liability I come not only from a culturally conservative family but also
culturally conservative family but also
culturally conservative family but also politically one living in the village
politically one living in the village
politically one living in the village meant being publicly scrutinized living
meant being publicly scrutinized living
meant being publicly scrutinized living up to the expectations and adopting the
up to the expectations and adopting the
up to the expectations and adopting the same rigid values quite frankly I take a
same rigid values quite frankly I take a
same rigid values quite frankly I take a lot of pride in my culture my values and
lot of pride in my culture my values and
lot of pride in my culture my values and my identity as an educated rural Muslim
my identity as an educated rural Muslim
my identity as an educated rural Muslim Pakistani woman but when those values
Pakistani woman but when those values
Pakistani woman but when those values are not adopted out of choice but rather
are not adopted out of choice but rather
are not adopted out of choice but rather imposed and exploited by patriarchy
imposed and exploited by patriarchy
imposed and exploited by patriarchy that’s where I have an issue with so you
that’s where I have an issue with so you
that’s where I have an issue with so you must be wondering how did this girl from
must be wondering how did this girl from
must be wondering how did this girl from the village in Pakistan she’s not
the village in Pakistan she’s not
the village in Pakistan she’s not standing in central London and giving a
standing in central London and giving a
standing in central London and giving a talk how did this happen without any
talk how did this happen without any
talk how did this happen without any doubt my father was the most
doubt my father was the most
doubt my father was the most instrumental figure in my life’s journey
instrumental figure in my life’s journey
instrumental figure in my life’s journey my father had a really difficult time he
my father had a really difficult time he
my father had a really difficult time he was barely 12 when my grandfather was
was barely 12 when my grandfather was
was barely 12 when my grandfather was murdered at that age of 12 my father was
murdered at that age of 12 my father was
murdered at that age of 12 my father was implicated in criminal cases and he
implicated in criminal cases and he
implicated in criminal cases and he spent the early years of his life in
spent the early years of his life in
spent the early years of his life in prison
prison
prison my father was therefore deprived of
my father was therefore deprived of
my father was therefore deprived of formal education my aunts
formal education my aunts
formal education my aunts to discontinue their education because
to discontinue their education because
to discontinue their education because of the family enemity their
of the family enemity their
of the family enemity their circumstances and the myopic mindset at
circumstances and the myopic mindset at
circumstances and the myopic mindset at that time which was against female
that time which was against female
that time which was against female education my grandmother was a very
education my grandmother was a very
education my grandmother was a very brave woman she was a cancer patient
brave woman she was a cancer patient
brave woman she was a cancer patient she was now the head of the household
she was now the head of the household
she was now the head of the household she was the one who was taking the most
she was the one who was taking the most
she was the one who was taking the most important family decisions so that
important family decisions so that
important family decisions so that period in prison that time of adversity
period in prison that time of adversity
period in prison that time of adversity taught my father the importance of to
taught my father the importance of to
taught my father the importance of to values the importance of education and
values the importance of education and
values the importance of education and the importance of women empowerment what
the importance of women empowerment what
the importance of women empowerment what happens when women out of the
happens when women out of the
happens when women out of the circumstances or otherwise become heads
circumstances or otherwise become heads
circumstances or otherwise become heads of the household how important it is
of the household how important it is
of the household how important it is therefore to educate and empower each
therefore to educate and empower each
therefore to educate and empower each and every citizen of the society both
and every citizen of the society both
and every citizen of the society both men and women alike my father continued
men and women alike my father continued
men and women alike my father continued his education even in the prison later
his education even in the prison later
his education even in the prison later on he was exonerated of the charges
on he was exonerated of the charges
on he was exonerated of the charges leveled against him and acquitted by the
leveled against him and acquitted by the
leveled against him and acquitted by the judiciary he got out of the prison got
judiciary he got out of the prison got
judiciary he got out of the prison got married had four children
married had four children
married had four children iving the firstborn and the only
iving the firstborn and the only
iving the firstborn and the only daughter my father was a very
daughter my father was a very
daughter my father was a very progressive man he had a very busy
progressive man he had a very busy
progressive man he had a very busy public life but he made sure that he
public life but he made sure that he
public life but he made sure that he took out time for the family whatever
took out time for the family whatever
took out time for the family whatever little time he had with his children he
little time he had with his children he
little time he had with his children he would only talk about our education he
would only talk about our education he
would only talk about our education he would tell me to know your purpose in
would tell me to know your purpose in
would tell me to know your purpose in life set your goals set them high strive
life set your goals set them high strive
life set your goals set them high strive for them he developed in me the habit of
for them he developed in me the habit of
for them he developed in me the habit of reading newspapers and watching news
reading newspapers and watching news
reading newspapers and watching news when other children of my age were
when other children of my age were
when other children of my age were reading storybooks
reading storybooks
reading storybooks I was following parent affairs I
I was following parent affairs I
I was following parent affairs I understand this is not really the best
understand this is not really the best
understand this is not really the best model to follow but the point being that
model to follow but the point being that
model to follow but the point being that the importance of education setting
the importance of education setting
the importance of education setting goals and striving for them was a
goals and striving for them was a
goals and striving for them was a significant aspect of my upbringing my
significant aspect of my upbringing my
significant aspect of my upbringing my father was a very proud grounded
father was a very proud grounded
father was a very proud grounded actually conservative man himself yet
actually conservative man himself yet
actually conservative man himself yet very progressive very protective as a
very progressive very protective as a
very progressive very protective as a father but he never allowed his fears to
father but he never allowed his fears to
father but he never allowed his fears to become barriers in my life choices
become barriers in my life choices
become barriers in my life choices he himself evolved over the period of
he himself evolved over the period of
he himself evolved over the period of time when I started school I was not
time when I started school I was not
time when I started school I was not allowed to study in a co education
allowed to study in a co education
allowed to study in a co education environment because gender segregation
environment because gender segregation
environment because gender segregation is an important aspect of that culture I
is an important aspect of that culture I
is an important aspect of that culture I got into my all averse and I was made to
got into my all averse and I was made to
got into my all averse and I was made to study sciences because only medicine and
study sciences because only medicine and
study sciences because only medicine and teaching were the two professions which
teaching were the two professions which
teaching were the two professions which were considered prestigious for women I
were considered prestigious for women I
were considered prestigious for women I wanted to study law politics history
wanted to study law politics history
wanted to study law politics history sociology I got into my a-levels I was
sociology I got into my a-levels I was
sociology I got into my a-levels I was made to study sciences again I would
made to study sciences again I would
made to study sciences again I would speak to the lawyers that I knew and
speak to the lawyers that I knew and
speak to the lawyers that I knew and they were all mean I didn’t know of any
they were all mean I didn’t know of any
they were all mean I didn’t know of any female lawyer about my career choices
female lawyer about my career choices
female lawyer about my career choices and you will be surprised to know that
and you will be surprised to know that
and you will be surprised to know that not even single one of them encouraged
not even single one of them encouraged
not even single one of them encouraged me to pursue a career in law I was told
me to pursue a career in law I was told
me to pursue a career in law I was told that the courtroom environment is not
that the courtroom environment is not
that the courtroom environment is not conducive for women so forget about it I
conducive for women so forget about it I
conducive for women so forget about it I was very frustrated at that point but I
was very frustrated at that point but I
was very frustrated at that point but I took the unilateral decision of changing
took the unilateral decision of changing
took the unilateral decision of changing my subjects without informing anyone and
my subjects without informing anyone and
my subjects without informing anyone and I did pretty well in them when my father
I did pretty well in them when my father
I did pretty well in them when my father found out he was very happy he was
found out he was very happy he was
found out he was very happy he was convinced that I had found my own art he
convinced that I had found my own art he
convinced that I had found my own art he supported me in that decision and I got
supported me in that decision and I got
supported me in that decision and I got myself enrolled in a law school that to
myself enrolled in a law school that to
myself enrolled in a law school that to a co-ed one so I had broken two glass
a co-ed one so I had broken two glass
a co-ed one so I had broken two glass ceilings in the process
ceilings in the process
ceilings in the process studying law that – in a co-education
studying law that – in a co-education
studying law that – in a co-education environment then I was in my first year
environment then I was in my first year
environment then I was in my first year of undergraduate law and I got selected
of undergraduate law and I got selected
of undergraduate law and I got selected by the US State Department on a five
by the US State Department on a five
by the US State Department on a five weeks leadership exchange program I told
weeks leadership exchange program I told
weeks leadership exchange program I told myself there’s no chance that I would be
myself there’s no chance that I would be
myself there’s no chance that I would be allowed to go even if I had to go from
allowed to go even if I had to go from
allowed to go even if I had to go from one place to the other within my own
one place to the other within my own
one place to the other within my own village I had to be escorted by someone
village I had to be escorted by someone
village I had to be escorted by someone I told my father he was very happy we
I told my father he was very happy we
I told my father he was very happy we live in a joint family system and
live in a joint family system and
live in a joint family system and decisions are taken collectively I have
decisions are taken collectively I have
decisions are taken collectively I have a very loving supportive family but when
a very loving supportive family but when
a very loving supportive family but when you are part of that culture you
you are part of that culture you
you are part of that culture you perceive the world differently
perceive the world differently
perceive the world differently my father was told what are you doing
my father was told what are you doing
my father was told what are you doing she’s the girl she’s barely 19 you’re
she’s the girl she’s barely 19 you’re
she’s the girl she’s barely 19 you’re going to send her abroad you’re setting
going to send her abroad you’re setting
going to send her abroad you’re setting a very bad precedent and my father would
a very bad precedent and my father would
a very bad precedent and my father would logically argue with the eldest member
logically argue with the eldest member
logically argue with the eldest member of the family – the youngest member of
of the family – the youngest member of
of the family – the youngest member of the family that we live in modern and
the family that we live in modern and
the family that we live in modern and competitive times
competitive times
competitive times let’s not restrict opportunities for our
let’s not restrict opportunities for our
let’s not restrict opportunities for our children had it been any of my sons we
children had it been any of my sons we
children had it been any of my sons we would all have been happy just because
would all have been happy just because
would all have been happy just because she’s my daughter why should I stop her
she’s my daughter why should I stop her
she’s my daughter why should I stop her from pursuing her ambitions regardless
from pursuing her ambitions regardless
from pursuing her ambitions regardless of whether he managed to convince
of whether he managed to convince
of whether he managed to convince everyone or anyone for that matter
everyone or anyone for that matter
everyone or anyone for that matter he took the firm ground he wasted his
he took the firm ground he wasted his
he took the firm ground he wasted his trust in me and he sent me on this
trust in me and he sent me on this
trust in me and he sent me on this exchange program that was an eye-opening
exchange program that was an eye-opening
exchange program that was an eye-opening experience for me I got back I completed
experience for me I got back I completed
experience for me I got back I completed my law degree later I came to London
my law degree later I came to London
my law degree later I came to London qualified as a barrister at law Atkinson
qualified as a barrister at law Atkinson
qualified as a barrister at law Atkinson and I became the first barrister or a
and I became the first barrister or a
and I became the first barrister or a loyal female barrister in that community
loyal female barrister in that community
loyal female barrister in that community so my father had set those ripples at
so my father had set those ripples at
so my father had set those ripples at home he was an institution for me where
home he was an institution for me where
home he was an institution for me where he was telling me that there’s no glass
he was telling me that there’s no glass
he was telling me that there’s no glass ceiling which you cannot shatter in the
ceiling which you cannot shatter in the
ceiling which you cannot shatter in the society he was well respected and he
society he was well respected and he
society he was well respected and he used his position
used his position
used his position to bring change in a society in a
to bring change in a society in a
to bring change in a society in a culture where it it is looked down upon
culture where it it is looked down upon
culture where it it is looked down upon for to even mention names of daughters
for to even mention names of daughters
for to even mention names of daughters publicly my father was celebrating his
publicly my father was celebrating his
publicly my father was celebrating his daughter and whatever little
daughter and whatever little
daughter and whatever little achievements I was making this had a
achievements I was making this had a
achievements I was making this had a very positive impact not only on female
very positive impact not only on female
very positive impact not only on female education but also on male education
education but also on male education
education but also on male education it’s an aggregate in society and the
it’s an aggregate in society and the
it’s an aggregate in society and the general mindset amongst boys is that
general mindset amongst boys is that
general mindset amongst boys is that since we will be inheriting properties
since we will be inheriting properties
since we will be inheriting properties from our fathers and forefathers we can
from our fathers and forefathers we can
from our fathers and forefathers we can do even without education or employment
do even without education or employment
do even without education or employment but when they saw a girl from the same
but when they saw a girl from the same
but when they saw a girl from the same community coming from a similar
community coming from a similar
community coming from a similar background taking education and career
background taking education and career
background taking education and career seriously there was a shift towards
seriously there was a shift towards
seriously there was a shift towards making career choices amongst boys as
making career choices amongst boys as
making career choices amongst boys as well which is great but having said that
well which is great but having said that
well which is great but having said that things are not as bright as we would
things are not as bright as we would
things are not as bright as we would like to think that they are I’m
like to think that they are I’m
like to think that they are I’m currently studying politics but I’m
currently studying politics but I’m
currently studying politics but I’m aware of the fact that if I were to ever
aware of the fact that if I were to ever
aware of the fact that if I were to ever run for office in future as a woman the
run for office in future as a woman the
run for office in future as a woman the hurdles would be greater the double
hurdles would be greater the double
hurdles would be greater the double standards would be greater and my father
standards would be greater and my father
standards would be greater and my father is not there anymore to fight for me but
is not there anymore to fight for me but
is not there anymore to fight for me but he has given me the vision and the
he has given me the vision and the
he has given me the vision and the courage that my gender is or can in no
courage that my gender is or can in no
courage that my gender is or can in no way be an impediment in terms of the
way be an impediment in terms of the
way be an impediment in terms of the life choices that I make my gender
life choices that I make my gender
life choices that I make my gender cannot render me misfit for running for
cannot render me misfit for running for
cannot render me misfit for running for a public office
a public office
a public office my father proved that he was right and
my father proved that he was right and
my father proved that he was right and everyone else was wrong
so patriarchy is a system of
so patriarchy is a system of exploitation
exploitation
exploitation it creates hierarchies whereby men are
it creates hierarchies whereby men are
it creates hierarchies whereby men are given superiority over women i ardently
given superiority over women i ardently
given superiority over women i ardently believe that if men especially those of
believe that if men especially those of
believe that if men especially those of you
you
you who are fathers or those of you who are
who are fathers or those of you who are
who are fathers or those of you who are in leadership positions if you assume
in leadership positions if you assume
in leadership positions if you assume upon yourself the responsibility of
upon yourself the responsibility of
upon yourself the responsibility of fighting patriarchy the very foundations
fighting patriarchy the very foundations
fighting patriarchy the very foundations of this unjust system will crumble down
of this unjust system will crumble down
of this unjust system will crumble down it is important that we all fight
it is important that we all fight
it is important that we all fight patriarchy together regardless of our
patriarchy together regardless of our
patriarchy together regardless of our gender race ethnicity whatever part of
gender race ethnicity whatever part of
gender race ethnicity whatever part of the world we come from for patriarchy
the world we come from for patriarchy
the world we come from for patriarchy anywhere is a threat to human rights not
anywhere is a threat to human rights not
anywhere is a threat to human rights not just women rights everywhere
just women rights everywhere
just women rights everywhere patriarchy unleashes itself both in
patriarchy unleashes itself both in
patriarchy unleashes itself both in peace and also involve there many in my
peace and also involve there many in my
peace and also involve there many in my country who want to fear do not send
country who want to fear do not send
country who want to fear do not send their daughters to school offer work but
their daughters to school offer work but
their daughters to school offer work but I want to tell them that fear is not the
I want to tell them that fear is not the
I want to tell them that fear is not the solution rather it perpetuates
solution rather it perpetuates
solution rather it perpetuates patriarchy so maybe together educate
patriarchy so maybe together educate
patriarchy so maybe together educate more women maybe empower more women
more women maybe empower more women
more women maybe empower more women maybe create those environments where
maybe create those environments where
maybe create those environments where women from all kinds of backgrounds they
women from all kinds of backgrounds they
women from all kinds of backgrounds they can’t adopt their identity as they wish
can’t adopt their identity as they wish
can’t adopt their identity as they wish and utilize their potential to the
and utilize their potential to the
and utilize their potential to the fullest we create more women leaders and
fullest we create more women leaders and
fullest we create more women leaders and maybe evolve into societies and the
maybe evolve into societies and the
maybe evolve into societies and the world where we are all treated equally
world where we are all treated equally
world where we are all treated equally thank you very much
thank you very much
thank you very much [Applause]
”
Be First to Comment