hi everyone my name is Anakin and I am an actor and I run a theater company I’m
an actor and I run a theater company I’m
an actor and I run a theater company I’m not a scientist and I’m not a
not a scientist and I’m not a
not a scientist and I’m not a psychologist I’m Ally fist so I felt
psychologist I’m Ally fist so I felt
psychologist I’m Ally fist so I felt really smug when I was writing this talk
really smug when I was writing this talk
really smug when I was writing this talk I was like new term but I googled it and
I was like new term but I googled it and
I was like new term but I googled it and actually Ally fist is a person who
actually Ally fist is a person who
actually Ally fist is a person who remains and stands resilient in the face
remains and stands resilient in the face
remains and stands resilient in the face of adversity seeks to answer their
of adversity seeks to answer their
of adversity seeks to answer their calling to becoming the best and truest
calling to becoming the best and truest
calling to becoming the best and truest version of themselves I mean it works so
version of themselves I mean it works so
version of themselves I mean it works so it’s fine so today I’m gonna talk to you
it’s fine so today I’m gonna talk to you
it’s fine so today I’m gonna talk to you about the power of no and make him
about the power of no and make him
about the power of no and make him ejection work for you but I’m gonna use
ejection work for you but I’m gonna use
ejection work for you but I’m gonna use my life as a case study I’m Ally fist
my life as a case study I’m Ally fist
my life as a case study I’m Ally fist seven years ago I was 26 years old I’m
seven years ago I was 26 years old I’m
seven years ago I was 26 years old I’m sleeping on my dad sofa working in a
sleeping on my dad sofa working in a
sleeping on my dad sofa working in a call center with people that I like but
call center with people that I like but
call center with people that I like but I’m doing a job that I hate and I’m also
I’m doing a job that I hate and I’m also
I’m doing a job that I hate and I’m also about to be voluntarily unemployed if
about to be voluntarily unemployed if
about to be voluntarily unemployed if I’m honest so I’m actually a bit
I’m honest so I’m actually a bit
I’m honest so I’m actually a bit depressed and I’m in constant wonderment
depressed and I’m in constant wonderment
depressed and I’m in constant wonderment about whether the thing that I’ve wanted
about whether the thing that I’ve wanted
about whether the thing that I’ve wanted to do in my whole life act is actually
to do in my whole life act is actually
to do in my whole life act is actually the thing that I should be trying to do
the thing that I should be trying to do
the thing that I should be trying to do with my life I’m also about to be dumped
with my life I’m also about to be dumped
with my life I’m also about to be dumped by this guy that I know I’m not bothered
by this guy that I know I’m not bothered
by this guy that I know I’m not bothered about obviously my first two powerful no
about obviously my first two powerful no
about obviously my first two powerful no okay so the studies showed that there
okay so the studies showed that there
okay so the studies showed that there are areas in the brain that are
are areas in the brain that are
are areas in the brain that are activated when we experience rejection
activated when we experience rejection
activated when we experience rejection that are saying to the areas are
that are saying to the areas are
that are saying to the areas are activated when we experience physical
activated when we experience physical
activated when we experience physical pain that’s why when we’re rejected it
pain that’s why when we’re rejected it
pain that’s why when we’re rejected it hurts so much so I was I was pained so
hurts so much so I was I was pained so
hurts so much so I was I was pained so back to this glamorous place of sleeping
back to this glamorous place of sleeping
back to this glamorous place of sleeping without so firm rejection and
without so firm rejection and
without so firm rejection and unemployment this is where I learned the
unemployment this is where I learned the
unemployment this is where I learned the power of no my first play I wrote sing
power of no my first play I wrote sing
power of no my first play I wrote sing in a call center hating my job and
in a call center hating my job and
in a call center hating my job and little did I know then that that play
little did I know then that that play
little did I know then that that play that I wrote on paper that I’d borrowed
that I wrote on paper that I’d borrowed
that I wrote on paper that I’d borrowed from the printer and I and you know
from the printer and I and you know
from the printer and I and you know sitting behind a computer screen
sitting behind a computer screen
sitting behind a computer screen pretending to answer customer service
pretending to answer customer service
pretending to answer customer service emails little did I know that that was
emails little did I know that that was
emails little did I know that that was the beginning of the journey that I was
the beginning of the journey that I was
the beginning of the journey that I was about to go
about to go
about to go – from creating my own work to starting
– from creating my own work to starting
– from creating my own work to starting two companies to working for myself to
two companies to working for myself to
two companies to working for myself to have an employees how do I get there
have an employees how do I get there
have an employees how do I get there so back to sleeping on the sofa and
so back to sleeping on the sofa and
so back to sleeping on the sofa and being dumped by X so don’t touch me I
being dumped by X so don’t touch me I
being dumped by X so don’t touch me I mean you can judge me it’s fine whatever
mean you can judge me it’s fine whatever
mean you can judge me it’s fine whatever but initially I I decided to start a
but initially I I decided to start a
but initially I I decided to start a company and reduce my own play because I
company and reduce my own play because I
company and reduce my own play because I thought if I did he change his mind so
thought if I did he change his mind so
thought if I did he change his mind so it actually was a get a boy to want me
it actually was a get a boy to want me
it actually was a get a boy to want me back then nice I cringe at the time my
back then nice I cringe at the time my
back then nice I cringe at the time my best friend
best friend
best friend she’d been asking me for ages to start a
she’d been asking me for ages to start a
she’d been asking me for ages to start a theatre company she asked me so many
theatre company she asked me so many
theatre company she asked me so many times and my answer was always no no no
times and my answer was always no no no
times and my answer was always no no no but hop skip to being dumped by boy and
but hop skip to being dumped by boy and
but hop skip to being dumped by boy and getting a powerful no and I’m like yes
getting a powerful no and I’m like yes
getting a powerful no and I’m like yes babe babe yes let’s start a company I’ve
babe babe yes let’s start a company I’ve
babe babe yes let’s start a company I’ve got a plan and I did have a plan
got a plan and I did have a plan
got a plan and I did have a plan I had I get the X want me back plan
I had I get the X want me back plan
I had I get the X want me back plan which I didn’t say out loud obviously
which I didn’t say out loud obviously
which I didn’t say out loud obviously but if we forget about the source of the
but if we forget about the source of the
but if we forget about the source of the rejection for a moment if we forget
rejection for a moment if we forget
rejection for a moment if we forget about that and we look closely you’ll
about that and we look closely you’ll
about that and we look closely you’ll see that it was because of the rejection
see that it was because of the rejection
see that it was because of the rejection that I was able to motivate myself
that I was able to motivate myself
that I was able to motivate myself without feeling that pain in my chest
without feeling that pain in my chest
without feeling that pain in my chest that’s what I needed strangely I needed
that’s what I needed strangely I needed
that’s what I needed strangely I needed that no but in order to execute the
that no but in order to execute the
that no but in order to execute the overriding plan get X back I needed to
overriding plan get X back I needed to
overriding plan get X back I needed to actually make a path okay so the mission
actually make a path okay so the mission
actually make a path okay so the mission to start a company and write a play
to start a company and write a play
to start a company and write a play sure so at first I’m going to check if X
sure so at first I’m going to check if X
sure so at first I’m going to check if X wants me back no oh okay sure well I’ve
wants me back no oh okay sure well I’ve
wants me back no oh okay sure well I’ve got plans he’ll see okay so start a
got plans he’ll see okay so start a
got plans he’ll see okay so start a company right play sure a shift happened
company right play sure a shift happened
company right play sure a shift happened you don’t know it became quite powerful
you don’t know it became quite powerful
you don’t know it became quite powerful this shift happened and that rejection
this shift happened and that rejection
this shift happened and that rejection it it made me passionate and there’s two
it it made me passionate and there’s two
it it made me passionate and there’s two ways that we can use rejection right we
ways that we can use rejection right we
ways that we can use rejection right we can either allow it to sit on our chest
can either allow it to sit on our chest
can either allow it to sit on our chest of chest shoulders see on our shoulders
of chest shoulders see on our shoulders
of chest shoulders see on our shoulders and weigh us down or we can shift it off
and weigh us down or we can shift it off
and weigh us down or we can shift it off our shoulders and put it into our belly
our shoulders and put it into our belly
our shoulders and put it into our belly and allow it to be that thing that Spurs
and allow it to be that thing that Spurs
and allow it to be that thing that Spurs us on the only way that that no can be
us on the only way that that no can be
us on the only way that that no can be powerful is if a shift happens now it’s
powerful is if a shift happens now it’s
powerful is if a shift happens now it’s not easy it’s not easy tasks like I said
not easy it’s not easy tasks like I said
not easy it’s not easy tasks like I said you know remember neurologically
you know remember neurologically
you know remember neurologically rejection can feel like physical pain it
rejection can feel like physical pain it
rejection can feel like physical pain it hurts in this industry that I’m in and
hurts in this industry that I’m in and
hurts in this industry that I’m in and that some of you about to walk into or
that some of you about to walk into or
that some of you about to walk into or do you know even life in general we
do you know even life in general we
do you know even life in general we receive so many knows we get more
receive so many knows we get more
receive so many knows we get more rejection than we do the yes that we’re
rejection than we do the yes that we’re
rejection than we do the yes that we’re so desperately seeking at times is
so desperately seeking at times is
so desperately seeking at times is something that we feel but we can use
something that we feel but we can use
something that we feel but we can use that feeling and I felt it but the work
that feeling and I felt it but the work
that feeling and I felt it but the work and the company suddenly became more
and the company suddenly became more
and the company suddenly became more interesting to me than the initial plan
interesting to me than the initial plan
interesting to me than the initial plan I didn’t care about that anymore I
I didn’t care about that anymore I
I didn’t care about that anymore I started to get really excited about what
started to get really excited about what
started to get really excited about what I wanted my company to look like and who
I wanted my company to look like and who
I wanted my company to look like and who would as have a people I wanted to work
would as have a people I wanted to work
would as have a people I wanted to work with what places that I want my plays to
with what places that I want my plays to
with what places that I want my plays to be on I stopped caring about that first
be on I stopped caring about that first
be on I stopped caring about that first plan and this became the important plan
plan and this became the important plan
plan and this became the important plan I started to do some research and I
I started to do some research and I
I started to do some research and I wrote some lists right so the things on
wrote some lists right so the things on
wrote some lists right so the things on the list
the list
the list initially they started small like get
initially they started small like get
initially they started small like get business cards create a website redraft
business cards create a website redraft
business cards create a website redraft that play like physical pain we can’t
that play like physical pain we can’t
that play like physical pain we can’t ignore that feeling of rejection we feel
ignore that feeling of rejection we feel
ignore that feeling of rejection we feel it right and we use it so in the same
it right and we use it so in the same
it right and we use it so in the same way it goes from a severe pain into a
way it goes from a severe pain into a
way it goes from a severe pain into a mild bruise then you can move on and you
mild bruise then you can move on and you
mild bruise then you can move on and you make a plan I wash your plan what is it
make a plan I wash your plan what is it
make a plan I wash your plan what is it don’t don’t worry about how achievable
don’t don’t worry about how achievable
don’t don’t worry about how achievable you may think it’s gonna be but what do
you may think it’s gonna be but what do
you may think it’s gonna be but what do you want think about it
you want think about it
you want think about it because everything starts with a plan so
because everything starts with a plan so
because everything starts with a plan so I started my what I want to achieve plan
I started my what I want to achieve plan
I started my what I want to achieve plan list and boy did I feel good when I
list and boy did I feel good when I
list and boy did I feel good when I started to tick things off that list and
started to tick things off that list and
started to tick things off that list and it’s important to start small
it’s important to start small
it’s important to start small I started small but small things they
I started small but small things they
I started small but small things they turn into bigger things now at this
turn into bigger things now at this
turn into bigger things now at this point the only thing I know how to do is
point the only thing I know how to do is
point the only thing I know how to do is be me that’s all I have I don’t know how
be me that’s all I have I don’t know how
be me that’s all I have I don’t know how to write a play I don’t know how to
to write a play I don’t know how to
to write a play I don’t know how to start a company but I do know how to be
start a company but I do know how to be
start a company but I do know how to be me it’s really funny because the thing
me it’s really funny because the thing
me it’s really funny because the thing that ignited this that was rejected was
that ignited this that was rejected was
that ignited this that was rejected was me but
me but
me but all I have is me I was enough is the
all I have is me I was enough is the
all I have is me I was enough is the same way you are enough I didn’t have
same way you are enough I didn’t have
same way you are enough I didn’t have any money I didn’t know anyone I didn’t
any money I didn’t know anyone I didn’t
any money I didn’t know anyone I didn’t have any connections or any contacts I
have any connections or any contacts I
have any connections or any contacts I was enough and this isn’t to say that I
was enough and this isn’t to say that I
was enough and this isn’t to say that I was what I needed no but it had to start
was what I needed no but it had to start
was what I needed no but it had to start with me it couldn’t have started without
with me it couldn’t have started without
with me it couldn’t have started without me in the same way it can’t start
me in the same way it can’t start
me in the same way it can’t start without you you can do it whatever it
without you you can do it whatever it
without you you can do it whatever it may be so I start to sit there and I
may be so I start to sit there and I
may be so I start to sit there and I think about okay so what excites me
think about okay so what excites me
think about okay so what excites me about me creatively what is unique about
about me creatively what is unique about
about me creatively what is unique about me creatively who are the creatives
me creatively who are the creatives
me creatively who are the creatives around me that can do the things that I
around me that can do the things that I
around me that can do the things that I can’t do a certain I really thought
can’t do a certain I really thought
can’t do a certain I really thought about the answers to those questions and
about the answers to those questions and
about the answers to those questions and then I play to my strengths so I know
then I play to my strengths so I know
then I play to my strengths so I know how to dance and I like music and a bit
how to dance and I like music and a bit
how to dance and I like music and a bit of sign language I know how to write
of sign language I know how to write
of sign language I know how to write poetry well you know I’ve sat and I’ve
poetry well you know I’ve sat and I’ve
poetry well you know I’ve sat and I’ve watched my brother and my older brother
watched my brother and my older brother
watched my brother and my older brother produce music so I kind of knew how to
produce music so I kind of knew how to
produce music so I kind of knew how to write to music cool I know how to make
write to music cool I know how to make
write to music cool I know how to make friends and I had to be funny and I was
friends and I had to be funny and I was
friends and I had to be funny and I was asked to write questions and I also know
asked to write questions and I also know
asked to write questions and I also know that I can make up my own rules cool
that I can make up my own rules cool
that I can make up my own rules cool so I decided on my motto which was never
so I decided on my motto which was never
so I decided on my motto which was never give yourself a reason why not to do
give yourself a reason why not to do
give yourself a reason why not to do something and you know what because it’s
something and you know what because it’s
something and you know what because it’s like a good day I’m gonna give you that
like a good day I’m gonna give you that
like a good day I’m gonna give you that you can have it take it there’s my motto
you can have it take it there’s my motto
you can have it take it there’s my motto – you never give yourself a reason why
– you never give yourself a reason why
– you never give yourself a reason why not to do something I’m not going to do
not to do something I’m not going to do
not to do something I’m not going to do that because I don’t have any money well
that because I don’t have any money well
that because I don’t have any money well then work some extra hours I’m not going
then work some extra hours I’m not going
then work some extra hours I’m not going to do that because I’m lacking a skill
to do that because I’m lacking a skill
to do that because I’m lacking a skill okay then find a team I’m not going to
okay then find a team I’m not going to
okay then find a team I’m not going to do that because I don’t know something
do that because I don’t know something
do that because I don’t know something okay well do some research and ask some
okay well do some research and ask some
okay well do some research and ask some questions I’m not going to do that
questions I’m not going to do that
questions I’m not going to do that because I don’t know anyone well then go
because I don’t know anyone well then go
because I don’t know anyone well then go forth and make some friends
forth and make some friends
forth and make some friends it may have may feel awkward and it may
it may have may feel awkward and it may
it may have may feel awkward and it may be a bit scary but never give yourself a
be a bit scary but never give yourself a
be a bit scary but never give yourself a reason why not to do something cool so
reason why not to do something cool so
reason why not to do something cool so I’ve all of the above I’ve got that I’ve
I’ve all of the above I’ve got that I’ve
I’ve all of the above I’ve got that I’ve put it in a pot I’ve shook it up and I’m
put it in a pot I’ve shook it up and I’m
put it in a pot I’ve shook it up and I’m saying to myself okay let’s start a
saying to myself okay let’s start a
saying to myself okay let’s start a company
company
company first step fundamental I think it’s
first step fundamental I think it’s
first step fundamental I think it’s really important to find someone to
really important to find someone to
really important to find someone to learn from you know even when you become
learn from you know even when you become
learn from you know even when you become skip skilled at the thing that you want
skip skilled at the thing that you want
skip skilled at the thing that you want to do your experience there’s still so
to do your experience there’s still so
to do your experience there’s still so much to learn so my best friend and I we
much to learn so my best friend and I we
much to learn so my best friend and I we start learning off a mentor of hers he’s
start learning off a mentor of hers he’s
start learning off a mentor of hers he’s a diver friend her friend’s dad he’s a
a diver friend her friend’s dad he’s a
a diver friend her friend’s dad he’s a director and he says you know what you
director and he says you know what you
director and he says you know what you guys just start an all-female theater
guys just start an all-female theater
guys just start an all-female theater company I’m gonna give you a play and
company I’m gonna give you a play and
company I’m gonna give you a play and I’ll direct you in this play and also
I’ll direct you in this play and also
I’ll direct you in this play and also I’m gonna give you the name of your
I’m gonna give you the name of your
I’m gonna give you the name of your company
company
company so we’re fired up we’re excited we put a
so we’re fired up we’re excited we put a
so we’re fired up we’re excited we put a call out for you know women to audition
call out for you know women to audition
call out for you know women to audition we hold auditions with our director
we hold auditions with our director
we hold auditions with our director we’ve got company of women yes we’ve got
we’ve got company of women yes we’ve got
we’ve got company of women yes we’ve got a play we’ve got a plan we’re ready to
a play we’ve got a plan we’re ready to
a play we’ve got a plan we’re ready to go yes and we have a know our director
go yes and we have a know our director
go yes and we have a know our director mentor he changes his mind no no I see I
mentor he changes his mind no no I see I
mentor he changes his mind no no I see I can’t help you no I’m not going to
can’t help you no I’m not going to
can’t help you no I’m not going to direct you in that plane no you can’t
direct you in that plane no you can’t
direct you in that plane no you can’t have the name anymore oh I see I was
have the name anymore oh I see I was
have the name anymore oh I see I was reading and I and I know I read that
reading and I and I know I read that
reading and I and I know I read that evolutionary psychologists they believe
evolutionary psychologists they believe
evolutionary psychologists they believe that rejection served a vital part in
that rejection served a vital part in
that rejection served a vital part in our evolutionary past they said that the
our evolutionary past they said that the
our evolutionary past they said that the brain created triggers in our minds when
brain created triggers in our minds when
brain created triggers in our minds when we were about to be ostracized so those
we were about to be ostracized so those
we were about to be ostracized so those who had experienced real painful
who had experienced real painful
who had experienced real painful rejection they had an evolutionary
rejection they had an evolutionary
rejection they had an evolutionary advantage they saw the signals and they
advantage they saw the signals and they
advantage they saw the signals and they were able to create corrects their
were able to create corrects their
were able to create corrects their behavior so that they could stay within
behavior so that they could stay within
behavior so that they could stay within a troop right so that’s why when you use
a troop right so that’s why when you use
a troop right so that’s why when you use rejection to motivate you time and time
rejection to motivate you time and time
rejection to motivate you time and time again you can achieve things beyond your
again you can achieve things beyond your
again you can achieve things beyond your imagination so my friend she’s looking
imagination so my friend she’s looking
imagination so my friend she’s looking at this rejection but at this point I’m
at this rejection but at this point I’m
at this rejection but at this point I’m starting to learn the power of no right
starting to learn the power of no right
starting to learn the power of no right she’s looking at she’s like we don’t
she’s looking at she’s like we don’t
she’s looking at she’s like we don’t have a mentor we don’t have a name and
have a mentor we don’t have a name and
have a mentor we don’t have a name and so I take that no off our shoulders and
so I take that no off our shoulders and
so I take that no off our shoulders and I put it in the fire that’s already in
I put it in the fire that’s already in
I put it in the fire that’s already in my belly and I say it’s cool come over I
my belly and I say it’s cool come over I
my belly and I say it’s cool come over I will just learn as we go
will just learn as we go
will just learn as we go we’ve got company girls now we’ll call
we’ve got company girls now we’ll call
we’ve got company girls now we’ll call ourself into star production and let’s
ourself into star production and let’s
ourself into star production and let’s keep it moving let’s go
keep it moving let’s go
keep it moving let’s go but I’m saying to myself to note we need
but I’m saying to myself to note we need
but I’m saying to myself to note we need to we need to create some sort of buzz
to we need to create some sort of buzz
to we need to create some sort of buzz you know we’re an unknown company
you know we’re an unknown company
you know we’re an unknown company having a following why are people going
having a following why are people going
having a following why are people going to pay to see us in a show let’s create
to pay to see us in a show let’s create
to pay to see us in a show let’s create a bus where do we want off work hon we
a bus where do we want off work hon we
a bus where do we want off work hon we don’t know anyone we need to infiltrate
don’t know anyone we need to infiltrate
don’t know anyone we need to infiltrate these places I said to ourselves we need
these places I said to ourselves we need
these places I said to ourselves we need to work hard first so at the time there
to work hard first so at the time there
to work hard first so at the time there were two places I really really wanted
were two places I really really wanted
were two places I really really wanted my work was oval house and Soho Theatre
my work was oval house and Soho Theatre
my work was oval house and Soho Theatre these are the two places so I wrote it
these are the two places so I wrote it
these are the two places so I wrote it down I’ll give you that write down so my
down I’ll give you that write down so my
down I’ll give you that write down so my friend and I we’ve booked every play and
friend and I we’ve booked every play and
friend and I we’ve booked every play and every event at these places we are
every event at these places we are
every event at these places we are everywhere we’re doing everything our
everywhere we’re doing everything our
everywhere we’re doing everything our faces are everywhere we don’t know how
faces are everywhere we don’t know how
faces are everywhere we don’t know how to network but we’re playing to our
to network but we’re playing to our
to network but we’re playing to our strengths we’re silly we’re funny so
strengths we’re silly we’re funny so
strengths we’re silly we’re funny so we’re going inside these faces and wear
we’re going inside these faces and wear
we’re going inside these faces and wear this silly double act right and people
this silly double act right and people
this silly double act right and people laugh at us we’re making all these
laugh at us we’re making all these
laugh at us we’re making all these friends and at the tail end of every
friends and at the tail end of every
friends and at the tail end of every single conversation we say to know what
single conversation we say to know what
single conversation we say to know what bring this staff reductions we start
bring this staff reductions we start
bring this staff reductions we start listening company should come see our
listening company should come see our
listening company should come see our work and people started saying yes great
work and people started saying yes great
work and people started saying yes great okay
let me draw upon those bits of paper
let me draw upon those bits of paper that I wrote in the call centre my first
that I wrote in the call centre my first
that I wrote in the call centre my first play that became our buzz I created my
play that became our buzz I created my
play that became our buzz I created my first play called conversations with
first play called conversations with
first play called conversations with love
love
love now conversations was this spoken word
now conversations was this spoken word
now conversations was this spoken word dance drama that had music and sign
dance drama that had music and sign
dance drama that had music and sign language in it about the different types
language in it about the different types
language in it about the different types of conversations you could have with
of conversations you could have with
of conversations you could have with love I didn’t know how to write a play
love I didn’t know how to write a play
love I didn’t know how to write a play but I knew how to write poetry
but I knew how to write poetry
but I knew how to write poetry so spoken word I like dance I like music
so spoken word I like dance I like music
so spoken word I like dance I like music I’m learning sign let me throw all of
I’m learning sign let me throw all of
I’m learning sign let me throw all of that in this is what is going to create
that in this is what is going to create
that in this is what is going to create a buzz but it went from being this buzz
a buzz but it went from being this buzz
a buzz but it went from being this buzz thing to be in the thing this is what
thing to be in the thing this is what
thing to be in the thing this is what everyone wanted oh okay cool is only two
everyone wanted oh okay cool is only two
everyone wanted oh okay cool is only two of us it’s timing my friend but we’ve
of us it’s timing my friend but we’ve
of us it’s timing my friend but we’ve got this company of girls because we’re
got this company of girls because we’re
got this company of girls because we’re going to do this other play but
going to do this other play but
going to do this other play but conversations is what everyone is
conversations is what everyone is
conversations is what everyone is interested in we’re going into oval
interested in we’re going into oval
interested in we’re going into oval house we’re performing extracts we’re at
house we’re performing extracts we’re at
house we’re performing extracts we’re at all these places so I park this first
all these places so I park this first
all these places so I park this first idea and I
idea and I
idea and I right all those girls into this play and
right all those girls into this play and
right all those girls into this play and I keep it moving we’re doing loads of
I keep it moving we’re doing loads of
I keep it moving we’re doing loads of research we’re making friends I really
research we’re making friends I really
research we’re making friends I really remember Soho Theatre is my dream right
remember Soho Theatre is my dream right
remember Soho Theatre is my dream right really will go Soho I said my plate or
really will go Soho I said my plate or
really will go Soho I said my plate or Soho but on paper this it doesn’t really
Soho but on paper this it doesn’t really
Soho but on paper this it doesn’t really reads I mean it’s a dance drama music
reads I mean it’s a dance drama music
reads I mean it’s a dance drama music and sign language they read it and they
and sign language they read it and they
and sign language they read it and they go okay thank you but no I watch okay
go okay thank you but no I watch okay
go okay thank you but no I watch okay fine it’s cool remember I can make
fine it’s cool remember I can make
fine it’s cool remember I can make friends okay some research in I’m
friends okay some research in I’m
friends okay some research in I’m researching I’m finding other places
researching I’m finding other places
researching I’m finding other places that we can perform this play and I’ve
that we can perform this play and I’ve
that we can perform this play and I’ve made some friends in the industry and I
made some friends in the industry and I
made some friends in the industry and I invite them along and one of them
invite them along and one of them
invite them along and one of them happens to be a man who produces work
happens to be a man who produces work
happens to be a man who produces work and events at Soho Theatre he sees the
and events at Soho Theatre he sees the
and events at Soho Theatre he sees the show and he says you know what I’d love
show and he says you know what I’d love
show and he says you know what I’d love to produce this with you that’s our idea
to produce this with you that’s our idea
to produce this with you that’s our idea yes I did this in eight months I went
yes I did this in eight months I went
yes I did this in eight months I went from this know this rejection to have an
from this know this rejection to have an
from this know this rejection to have an accompany and a play that was being
accompany and a play that was being
accompany and a play that was being performed it’s so a theater in eight
performed it’s so a theater in eight
performed it’s so a theater in eight months but it all started with a note so
months but it all started with a note so
months but it all started with a note so I’ve got limited amount of time so I’m
I’ve got limited amount of time so I’m
I’ve got limited amount of time so I’m going to fast forward through this story
going to fast forward through this story
going to fast forward through this story and go forward a couple of years and
and go forward a couple of years and
and go forward a couple of years and finished I was doing really well
finished I was doing really well
finished I was doing really well actually we’ve we’re creating a nice
actually we’ve we’re creating a nice
actually we’ve we’re creating a nice little following we’re getting known in
little following we’re getting known in
little following we’re getting known in the industry where I’m trying to carve a
the industry where I’m trying to carve a
the industry where I’m trying to carve a little bit of a way for myself I’ve got
little bit of a way for myself I’ve got
little bit of a way for myself I’ve got a new agent I’m acting this is great but
a new agent I’m acting this is great but
a new agent I’m acting this is great but doesn’t sometimes we feel right and this
doesn’t sometimes we feel right and this
doesn’t sometimes we feel right and this is when I started to learn about the two
is when I started to learn about the two
is when I started to learn about the two different types of no so there is a no
different types of no so there is a no
different types of no so there is a no that we receive that we can turn into
that we receive that we can turn into
that we receive that we can turn into something powerful and then there’s also
something powerful and then there’s also
something powerful and then there’s also about learning the power of saying no
about learning the power of saying no
about learning the power of saying no especially when you’re in this industry
especially when you’re in this industry
especially when you’re in this industry in your freelance when you’re trying to
in your freelance when you’re trying to
in your freelance when you’re trying to make away you just want to you
make away you just want to you
make away you just want to you constantly feel like you have to always
constantly feel like you have to always
constantly feel like you have to always say yes being a woman you always taught
say yes being a woman you always taught
say yes being a woman you always taught that you have to say yes awesome anyway
that you have to say yes awesome anyway
that you have to say yes awesome anyway but I’m running this company with my
but I’m running this company with my
but I’m running this company with my friends and I love my friend to death I
friends and I love my friend to death I
friends and I love my friend to death I love this girl but running a company
love this girl but running a company
love this girl but running a company with her was difficult for me somebody
with her was difficult for me somebody
with her was difficult for me somebody doesn’t feel right for me and that I
doesn’t feel right for me and that I
doesn’t feel right for me and that I just don’t want to do it anymore and it
just don’t want to do it anymore and it
just don’t want to do it anymore and it didn’t really make sense it didn’t make
didn’t really make sense it didn’t make
didn’t really make sense it didn’t make sense and not
sense and not
sense and not want to do it because it was we were
want to do it because it was we were
want to do it because it was we were gaining traction it was you know I was
gaining traction it was you know I was
gaining traction it was you know I was making a name for myself our selves but
making a name for myself our selves but
making a name for myself our selves but I just you know we’re running it 50/50
I just you know we’re running it 50/50
I just you know we’re running it 50/50 for me it didn’t feel like 50% effort
for me it didn’t feel like 50% effort
for me it didn’t feel like 50% effort but she owned 50% are starting to resent
but she owned 50% are starting to resent
but she owned 50% are starting to resent it Thomas not feeling right and this let
it Thomas not feeling right and this let
it Thomas not feeling right and this let me just describe this isn’t a reflection
me just describe this isn’t a reflection
me just describe this isn’t a reflection of her as a person I love this is a
of her as a person I love this is a
of her as a person I love this is a wonderful woman but it’s a reflection of
wonderful woman but it’s a reflection of
wonderful woman but it’s a reflection of our working relationship it wasn’t
our working relationship it wasn’t
our working relationship it wasn’t working for me so we’re hitting a
working for me so we’re hitting a
working for me so we’re hitting a crossroad I’ve written I’ve written our
crossroad I’ve written I’ve written our
crossroad I’ve written I’ve written our second play we’re starting to go down a
second play we’re starting to go down a
second play we’re starting to go down a direction that I’m really passionate
direction that I’m really passionate
direction that I’m really passionate about mental health using drama for you
about mental health using drama for you
about mental health using drama for you know community engagement um I’ve got
know community engagement um I’ve got
know community engagement um I’ve got loads of different ideas up here as to
loads of different ideas up here as to
loads of different ideas up here as to where I want to go but I don’t want to
where I want to go but I don’t want to
where I want to go but I don’t want to run this company anymore with my friend
run this company anymore with my friend
run this company anymore with my friend and she’s leaving the country so I say
and she’s leaving the country so I say
and she’s leaving the country so I say okay well if you’re leaving I’m gonna
okay well if you’re leaving I’m gonna
okay well if you’re leaving I’m gonna obviously you know continue but with
obviously you know continue but with
obviously you know continue but with these ideas so just just just let me
these ideas so just just just let me
these ideas so just just just let me have it and she says I don’t want to do
have it and she says I don’t want to do
have it and she says I don’t want to do that yeah but you live in the country
that yeah but you live in the country
that yeah but you live in the country and so just let me have it I don’t want
and so just let me have it I don’t want
and so just let me have it I don’t want to do that we’re at this crossroads
to do that we’re at this crossroads
to do that we’re at this crossroads because I don’t I know the work that I
because I don’t I know the work that I
because I don’t I know the work that I want to do and I know one I have a
want to do and I know one I have a
want to do and I know one I have a company but I don’t want to continue in
company but I don’t want to continue in
company but I don’t want to continue in a partnership and she doesn’t want to
a partnership and she doesn’t want to
a partnership and she doesn’t want to let me have it
so I say no oh you can have it take it
so I say no oh you can have it take it I’m gonna step down I’m gonna have no
I’m gonna step down I’m gonna have no
I’m gonna step down I’m gonna have no company I’ll take with me you know my
company I’ll take with me you know my
company I’ll take with me you know my plays and my ideas but you can have it I
plays and my ideas but you can have it I
plays and my ideas but you can have it I said no okay so I’m back to I’ve got
said no okay so I’m back to I’ve got
said no okay so I’m back to I’ve got nothing you know so now I need to make a
nothing you know so now I need to make a
nothing you know so now I need to make a new plan I’m gonna learn from the
new plan I’m gonna learn from the
new plan I’m gonna learn from the rejection before those lessons those
rejection before those lessons those
rejection before those lessons those trigger signs and I’m going to correct
trigger signs and I’m going to correct
trigger signs and I’m going to correct my behavior and move forward so what am
my behavior and move forward so what am
my behavior and move forward so what am I going to do now at this point I’m
I going to do now at this point I’m
I going to do now at this point I’m writing a new plan and I saying to
writing a new plan and I saying to
writing a new plan and I saying to myself okay I want a company that
myself okay I want a company that
myself okay I want a company that business I know how to create work the
business I know how to create work the
business I know how to create work the people want to come to see I know how to
people want to come to see I know how to
people want to come to see I know how to create a buzz I know how to get you know
create a buzz I know how to get you know
create a buzz I know how to get you know people interested in what we’re doing
people interested in what we’re doing
people interested in what we’re doing but I don’t know how to generate money
but I don’t know how to generate money
but I don’t know how to generate money from this company so that I can live off
from this company so that I can live off
from this company so that I can live off it you know I I don’t want to be one of
it you know I I don’t want to be one of
it you know I I don’t want to be one of those actors or you know artistic
those actors or you know artistic
those actors or you know artistic directors nothing against anyone else
directors nothing against anyone else
directors nothing against anyone else but this is what I didn’t want who is
but this is what I didn’t want who is
but this is what I didn’t want who is acting but when they’re not acting is
acting but when they’re not acting is
acting but when they’re not acting is doing a job that they hate or has a
doing a job that they hate or has a
doing a job that they hate or has a company but they still have another job
company but they still have another job
company but they still have another job so I didn’t want that I said to myself
so I didn’t want that I said to myself
so I didn’t want that I said to myself this is what I want I want to be an
this is what I want I want to be an
this is what I want I want to be an actor when I’m not acting I wanna run my
actor when I’m not acting I wanna run my
actor when I’m not acting I wanna run my company so how do I do that I need to
company so how do I do that I need to
company so how do I do that I need to learn how to to run a business I need to
learn how to to run a business I need to
learn how to to run a business I need to learn about business but I don’t know
learn about business but I don’t know
learn about business but I don’t know anything about business we don’t have
anything about business we don’t have
anything about business we don’t have any money to start a course I don’t know
any money to start a course I don’t know
any money to start a course I don’t know so I I’m back to that metaphorical place
so I I’m back to that metaphorical place
so I I’m back to that metaphorical place I’ve been on my dad so far right but I
I’ve been on my dad so far right but I
I’ve been on my dad so far right but I am still I’m actually not on the safe
am still I’m actually not on the safe
am still I’m actually not on the safe anymore but I am broke so I’m at the
anymore but I am broke so I’m at the
anymore but I am broke so I’m at the call center I’m not the call center I’m
call center I’m not the call center I’m
call center I’m not the call center I’m at the Job Center I’m signing on and I
at the Job Center I’m signing on and I
at the Job Center I’m signing on and I remember there was one particular
remember there was one particular
remember there was one particular memorable meeting at the Job Center
memorable meeting at the Job Center
memorable meeting at the Job Center where they were making me feel a bit
where they were making me feel a bit
where they were making me feel a bit like you know this lazy lobster Job
like you know this lazy lobster Job
like you know this lazy lobster Job Center and what they do but this lazy
Center and what they do but this lazy
Center and what they do but this lazy girl doesn’t want to work and not
girl doesn’t want to work and not
girl doesn’t want to work and not educated and I got all righteous and I
educated and I got all righteous and I
educated and I got all righteous and I said no listen
said no listen
said no listen and I’m like metaphorically flipping
and I’m like metaphorically flipping
and I’m like metaphorically flipping tables and I’m like listen um I’m an
tables and I’m like listen um I’m an
tables and I’m like listen um I’m an actor I’m educated I have a plan okay
actor I’m educated I have a plan okay
actor I’m educated I have a plan okay now we’ll start business and I’m going
now we’ll start business and I’m going
now we’ll start business and I’m going on this like low volume dran it’s about
on this like low volume dran it’s about
on this like low volume dran it’s about you need to respect me and my idea is
you need to respect me and my idea is
you need to respect me and my idea is and as I finish that I’m getting ready
and as I finish that I’m getting ready
and as I finish that I’m getting ready to be like I’m so sorry it’s just stress
to be like I’m so sorry it’s just stress
to be like I’m so sorry it’s just stress I’m just trying to make it she says well
I’m just trying to make it she says well
I’m just trying to make it she says well you should be on the enterprise
you should be on the enterprise
you should be on the enterprise allowance and I’m like what’s that in my
allowance and I’m like what’s that in my
allowance and I’m like what’s that in my plan I said I need to learn about
plan I said I need to learn about
plan I said I need to learn about business I have no money to learn about
business I have no money to learn about
business I have no money to learn about business and have no money to start a
business and have no money to start a
business and have no money to start a business she says well the Enterprise
business she says well the Enterprise
business she says well the Enterprise Allowance
Allowance
Allowance is a scheme where if you’re looking for
is a scheme where if you’re looking for
is a scheme where if you’re looking for work but you want to start a business
work but you want to start a business
work but you want to start a business you can get free business training so
you can get free business training so
you can get free business training so you’re still getting all the benefits
you’re still getting all the benefits
you’re still getting all the benefits that you need but you get
that you need but you get
that you need but you get all of his business training at your
all of his business training at your
all of his business training at your fingertips for free and I had a business
fingertips for free and I had a business
fingertips for free and I had a business mentor so for three or four months I was
mentor so for three or four months I was
mentor so for three or four months I was learning about business for free the
learning about business for free the
learning about business for free the business mentor that I was assigned to
business mentor that I was assigned to
business mentor that I was assigned to you then is now on the board of my
you then is now on the board of my
you then is now on the board of my company years later and at the end of it
company years later and at the end of it
company years later and at the end of it I knew how to run a business to begin
I knew how to run a business to begin
I knew how to run a business to begin with and I had a successful business
with and I had a successful business
with and I had a successful business loan the information and the money
loan the information and the money
loan the information and the money so in short that’s how I went from being
so in short that’s how I went from being
so in short that’s how I went from being oh my dad so for being dumped by a boy
oh my dad so for being dumped by a boy
oh my dad so for being dumped by a boy so owning a business and having an
so owning a business and having an
so owning a business and having an office and employees it all started from
office and employees it all started from
office and employees it all started from oh no I was enough you are enough thank
oh no I was enough you are enough thank
oh no I was enough you are enough thank you
you
you [Applause]
”
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