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Los manda-mentes de la felicidad | Silvia Olmedo | TEDxUNAMAcatlán


[Music]

Today’s topic will be very different

that I usually to Pablo

let’s talk about the minds of the

happiness or what your mind should know

to be happy one thing that for me is

very important what you are going to see today is

the syme olmedo person

ok i ‘m not going to be nice i’m going to be i’m going to

do with this one I will tell you what to

it has helped me in life first

there is no formula of happiness that

people there are books is there is a formula

of happiness there is not

everyone has a recipe is like a

preferred dish as a stew not to

me is the paella to you is the spaghetti to

the other person is what is it

like

the enchiladas nobody can tell you

how to live your happiness is not the

state of ecstasy that describe the

movies like that is not the

happiness

then everyone will have a way

to be happy and from now on they have to

start thinking what happiness does not

same as success reach the first to

sometimes it’s not just the opposite

but in all the recipes the happiness

in all dishes on all floors

There are three ingredients that you can

ruin that happiness

the first the low self-esteem more than

predictable truth yes because we can

have a low intellectual self-esteem

low emotional self-esteem or those

people who think they do not deserve

be loved and put on the carpet

partner as long as they know that

people are never going to be happy is a

low self-esteem is a clear poison for

that happiness

so important that we work

in that ok

other than another thing that is very important

is that the most taken flights all in

our life we are going to have a pain

several ok and after their pains in

those spaces that can be very a

God we can be happy and enjoy the

life but what about a person who

does not properly process a duel

ok a labor duel because they voted you the

work you voted you learn looking

job

a loving duel is that they left me

and it is that better still uncertain men

they are cursed, not man, not

the man this one did not like you anymore

it is not a hint to all who

they left me no or when you die

being loved is terrible when you lose

a father a mother then the duel is

a process that we have to overcome all

and hurts

the psychologists that can help but

it hurts ok but what happens when a

non- pure person eyebrow in a way

proper the duel that becomes a

trauma and we put some species of

glasses some lenses through which

you are going to filter all your reality and

then the present see it exactly

those glasses and really become the

typical couple that makes you that you are

unfaithful and ends the relationship to a

traumatized person will think that

all men are infidels or that

all women go for the money not

if you do not overcome trauma well

this is very important in the end you’re going to

be unhappy and then we have anxiety

anxiety is a natural state and

necessary that we have to have to

prepare us not anxiety with thanks to

anxiety in the state nature or

with we brought the muscles there is no if

we protected ourselves the most

important in the vital organs of

our body we prepare for

bite the jaw hard our pupil

it dilates going a good answer

necessary but what happens to us now and as

we are overstimulated with so many

mental images of danger

we are in constant state of anxiety

and what happens that we get sick

emotionally remember that the

depression has a lot of relationship

with the anxiety states or

physically

our immune system to

the one that protects us from diseases

One day says Christ is over now

I can more sick three ingredients

of unhappiness

now the next point that I want

and to me this nobody had told

when I was young, she questions

absolutely everything I say questions

the labels do not let people get

goal where you do not want is like when

you have a label the people already

predict how you’re going to behave and already

decide if you like it if you do not like it if you

give the opportunity if it does not give you the

chance I put an example

silvia olmedo carrio juice or I will

prove that a cow’s imagine ay

making it the juice as soon as they told me

beef broth as planned

delicious not then what happens

the vast majority of people by vague or

for insecurity puts us in a

class category of race of class

social and we let them put them

I give an example when john s in

latin america or latin is

celia cruz but had tudela tineo or

African-American

not because they have already attended or or cameron

diaz or anv

so what happens when you accept

a label from another person will not let you

do you yes or no

look at the united states

very interesting in the scripts

there is a category for Asians and

another for Filipinos work the

Filipinos you really have to put your

own label

people have a mental baseness and among

white and black do not understand that

when there is a gray to me ask me

where you are

Look you and I am Spanish but I lived

A long time would not be done in England

then I reinvented mexico and when

all absolutely about my life because

I want you to make me is as I am already

I am not Spanish and accents a very rare

but here only very rare and in states

united also and that well because

they listen to me the first five seconds

you always have to think positive

false you always have to think about the best

of the cases and in the worst case and

the most likely always those people who

is that I had bad luck is not that you have

I had good luck my whole life

always in any situation because

because at the moment that you are going to

highlighting is when it is the worst of

cases at the time that you are going to

shine is in that and then something happened

very nice when you

suddenly things come out like ‘him in

the most likely cases you’re already happy

by the vast majority people compare

with the best case, nothing else

what is important, what must be done

to do is to think positively

any situation

ok that we have been given the worst of

cases

ok let’s think let’s react

positively but that to go as in

state of ecstasy peace and love no

false because it is that in addition and here

some psychologist is creating more

more problems you have to channel your

emotions and if one day you do not feel

well because I do not feel good nothing happens

connect with your emotions and always

understand that it is very very important

think about the three cases guys all the

people who tell you that they have bad luck

it’s because many times worse

he thought at best I ‘ve

had very good luck because always

I think the worst comes out

most likely I’m always happy not ok

that you have to take three of your life

concepts

he deserves you do not deserve us

we deserve to be here and that in

countries in Africa have nothing to

eat they deserve it their concept

weird you do not have to thank

luck we have to be grateful because

Also when you deserve it, it seems

which is your seat and you do not move but

when you thank him wow what luck

I have how lucky I have another the

victimization the people who make the

lifetime

for everything is that because to me because no

why not

an aspect that happened to me is my

dad my father died and died young oy

I was saying why I did not

I deserve no, but there are people now

himself is going through worse situations and

neither does he deserve anything else that is

important are the false shamans or

as I call them shamans those

that do motivate you for an hour to

then they leave you thrown care there’s a lot

People who need and smu must know

whom to ask for help when this is a

state of emotional vulnerability

because the vulnerable person

emotionally he is very weak and

anyone can take departure from that

why to me and to go if colo gaga or

It does not work because I do not have the

solution

I have the tools and I also

I did not leave and he had a very bad time

take out of your life the word shame

there is that fear the shame is the

fear of being judged and what happens if

you are ashamed in Spain to use

a terrible word that is worse is that

It’s embarrassing to others

embarrassed by what the other does

a terrible does not take the out of your life the

fear word fear is the great

manipulator and the fear issue is that

it paralyzes you to do things the biggest failure

that exists in your life is the no

try things always because of

any trial of anything that

you try if it does not come out just like you

you think he has taken a learning and eye

with those people who look at you even though

failed the unsuccessful was that not what

you try

what a shame you live only once and not

you are betting everything of yours

to that life take the environments out of your life

toxic and toxic people the same

he threw he said that man to a wolf

for the man rousseau said that the

man was good by nature because I

neither one thing nor the other

there are toxic people completely

my last book I talk about that and there’s

toxic people mainly to some

because they love you too much the mother or the

father who makes you emotional blackmail

so that you do not go abroad and the

I left alone

is a type of toxicity is that

for that couple that for fear of

lose control and more than

hug you from suffocation

does not ask you to go with your friends or people

toxic that loves you

ok but it can kill you is the

toxic environments of real work

really this is very important

Do not be afraid to lose your job

because the moment they know what you have

fear of losing your job that has nothing

Do not let them be afraid of losing you

that is afraid to lose your talent is

That is the most important

I learned it I learned it late and I

agreement when I was where I worked

until nine because I always

I felt that I still did not pronounce well

I in English has always been ham

ham is a disability that we have

a lot of Spaniards do not and I always

I thought about that little bit that I was missing and

in my bosses I knew it and I was up

9 a possible solution was carried

more than the rest of that I’m afraid

lose fear and there is another thing that

for me it is very important

Now there is this situation of everything

ok you have to be tolerant peace and

love, you should not be outraged

we have to be outraged we have to

answer we have to link with the

Cooley society we are going to be

cool eros of love

It is important to be outraged

there are inequality situations there

situations for example that is being

giving right now on social networks

the other day I saw a public figure

apologizing why they had

stolen a video in which he had

intimate relationships with a woman to

through a camera to your partner and you

I apologized the speech is for everyone

you for having seen it clear that if

they argue because you but now

same someone does not do a thing wrong a

retweet uu

I have been told that I have been

counted is very dangerous or see something that

you would not like to be seen

help those people

the caller grants

enough is not my subject is your subject

you have to commit the powers more

Strong know that we have seized and

they have us grabbed why we

outraged at the beginning and at 3

minutes we see a video and we forget

so easy you have to commit

much more with the society of

right guys we are going on a path

before a bad person a minority

little one it was very difficult that they did

a great evil now a very minority

small can kill all of us

we can not not react to something that sees

bad denounce what I talked about what bullying is

that the child you have to learn to

defend child

the rest of the class are heroes every

once they see someone they are

harming everyone protect him but all

the children are silent and the other has to

learn to defend alone in front of 40

people

it’s normal that’s not the strategy

the strategy now children is that

learn to be superheroes and that each

once a child is harmed or harassed

posted already using these words

years

the rest of us act for

compensate happiness for me

already having reached the fourth floor

I realized that happiness is not going to

being the first was not competing

the official for me is to have the

ability to enjoy not savor

many dishes acquire the meaning of

palate of tasting life for me the

happiness is that he saved the moments

of pain

the rest are wonderful moments like

these that I can taste that I can

enjoy

for me it is happiness and a very

important to bad that you are bad dreams

with what you want to do

think of a strategy but never that

this is very important the end is going to

justify the means

many thanks

and

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