I love hair and I’m certain that many of you know women who have long hair I
you know women who have long hair I
you know women who have long hair I remember being in the 70s and 80s
remember being in the 70s and 80s
remember being in the 70s and 80s watching those commercials where they
watching those commercials where they
watching those commercials where they were washing that gray right out of
were washing that gray right out of
were washing that gray right out of their hair I used to love watching the
their hair I used to love watching the
their hair I used to love watching the women just shake their hair and my first
women just shake their hair and my first
women just shake their hair and my first memory of someone having beautiful long
memory of someone having beautiful long
memory of someone having beautiful long hair was my grandmother her hair was
hair was my grandmother her hair was
hair was my grandmother her hair was gray it was silver and I loved her hair
gray it was silver and I loved her hair
gray it was silver and I loved her hair family folklore was that we had a little
family folklore was that we had a little
family folklore was that we had a little bit of Indiana and our family
bit of Indiana and our family
bit of Indiana and our family I believe that okay and I looked forward
I believe that okay and I looked forward
I believe that okay and I looked forward to going to my grandmother’s house in
to going to my grandmother’s house in
to going to my grandmother’s house in the country in the summertime because I
the country in the summertime because I
the country in the summertime because I was the only girl that went so that
was the only girl that went so that
was the only girl that went so that meant I got to do grandma’s hair she
meant I got to do grandma’s hair she
meant I got to do grandma’s hair she didn’t go to the hairdresser on Saturday
didn’t go to the hairdresser on Saturday
didn’t go to the hairdresser on Saturday I would go in the kitchen watch her wash
I would go in the kitchen watch her wash
I would go in the kitchen watch her wash her hair in the sink and I would put my
her hair in the sink and I would put my
her hair in the sink and I would put my hands in thinking I was doing something
hands in thinking I was doing something
hands in thinking I was doing something and my grandmother would say gal you get
and my grandmother would say gal you get
and my grandmother would say gal you get back home so you can scratch the
back home so you can scratch the
back home so you can scratch the dandruff out of my hair and I loved
dandruff out of my hair and I loved
dandruff out of my hair and I loved doing that and she was sitting her
doing that and she was sitting her
doing that and she was sitting her armchair and I was stand behind her and
armchair and I was stand behind her and
armchair and I was stand behind her and I would parter hair and scratch the
I would parter hair and scratch the
I would parter hair and scratch the dandruff out of her scalp and I would
dandruff out of her scalp and I would
dandruff out of her scalp and I would put a little bit of soap for eight on
put a little bit of soap for eight on
put a little bit of soap for eight on those parts I had a good time doing that
those parts I had a good time doing that
those parts I had a good time doing that and then I would braid her hair and
and then I would braid her hair and
and then I would braid her hair and listen to stories about my mom when she
listen to stories about my mom when she
listen to stories about my mom when she was a little girl I found out she was
was a little girl I found out she was
was a little girl I found out she was not perfect throughout my childhood
not perfect throughout my childhood
not perfect throughout my childhood especially early elementary school my
especially early elementary school my
especially early elementary school my mother would press my hair so my
mother would press my hair so my
mother would press my hair so my african-american females you know what
african-american females you know what
african-american females you know what I’m talking about I would sit at that
I’m talking about I would sit at that
I’m talking about I would sit at that kitchen table on Saturday night my
kitchen table on Saturday night my
kitchen table on Saturday night my mother would take that hot comb and put
mother would take that hot comb and put
mother would take that hot comb and put it on the flames on the stove and I
it on the flames on the stove and I
it on the flames on the stove and I would hear the hair sizzle and I would
would hear the hair sizzle and I would
would hear the hair sizzle and I would smell the smoke of my hair from last
smell the smoke of my hair from last
smell the smoke of my hair from last week
week
week thank you madam CJ Walker
thank you madam CJ Walker
thank you madam CJ Walker and I remember my mother saying girl
and I remember my mother saying girl
and I remember my mother saying girl hold that ear down you won’t make me
hold that ear down you won’t make me
hold that ear down you won’t make me burn you I’m gonna make her burn me she
burn you I’m gonna make her burn me she
burn you I’m gonna make her burn me she has to comb and I would sit there and I
has to comb and I would sit there and I
has to comb and I would sit there and I would give each little section pressed
would give each little section pressed
would give each little section pressed and then when I got done I was able to
and then when I got done I was able to
and then when I got done I was able to shake my hair and I was looking cute
shake my hair and I was looking cute
shake my hair and I was looking cute beginning about that chair I was
beginning about that chair I was
beginning about that chair I was admonished don’t you mess up your hair
admonished don’t you mess up your hair
admonished don’t you mess up your hair don’t you sweat cuz you know you’re
don’t you sweat cuz you know you’re
don’t you sweat cuz you know you’re gonna have a bush again so I was ever so
gonna have a bush again so I was ever so
gonna have a bush again so I was ever so careful when I went to bed when I went
careful when I went to bed when I went
careful when I went to bed when I went to school when I went to church with my
to school when I went to church with my
to school when I went to church with my two pigtails yes mom I’m telling the
two pigtails yes mom I’m telling the
two pigtails yes mom I’m telling the world you only know how to do two
world you only know how to do two
world you only know how to do two pigtails and I had ribbons on the end of
pigtails and I had ribbons on the end of
pigtails and I had ribbons on the end of my hair and I always made sure not to
my hair and I always made sure not to
my hair and I always made sure not to sweat I was very conscious about hair so
sweat I was very conscious about hair so
sweat I was very conscious about hair so lo and behold can you imagine my
lo and behold can you imagine my
lo and behold can you imagine my astonishment when I heard about the perm
astonishment when I heard about the perm
astonishment when I heard about the perm I could not wait to get my first perm my
I could not wait to get my first perm my
I could not wait to get my first perm my best friend Shelly told me about the
best friend Shelly told me about the
best friend Shelly told me about the perm she saying you have to get the perm
perm she saying you have to get the perm
perm she saying you have to get the perm you’ll never have to get your hair
you’ll never have to get your hair
you’ll never have to get your hair pressed again I begged my mother I said
pressed again I begged my mother I said
pressed again I begged my mother I said mom please can I get a perm because then
mom please can I get a perm because then
mom please can I get a perm because then we’ll never have to sit at the kitchen
we’ll never have to sit at the kitchen
we’ll never have to sit at the kitchen table again
table again
table again my mom acquiesced and I remember going
my mom acquiesced and I remember going
my mom acquiesced and I remember going to Miss English house for the first time
to Miss English house for the first time
to Miss English house for the first time sitting at her kitchen table and getting
sitting at her kitchen table and getting
sitting at her kitchen table and getting that creamy crap put on my hair
that creamy crap put on my hair
that creamy crap put on my hair I couldn’t wait and Shelly was sitting
I couldn’t wait and Shelly was sitting
I couldn’t wait and Shelly was sitting there she’s like is there burning yet
there she’s like is there burning yet
there she’s like is there burning yet and I was like and once miss English
and I was like and once miss English
and I was like and once miss English washed my hair it was straight and it
washed my hair it was straight and it
washed my hair it was straight and it was still wet I couldn’t believe it I
was still wet I couldn’t believe it I
was still wet I couldn’t believe it I was sitting in the chair and I was
was sitting in the chair and I was
was sitting in the chair and I was shaking my hair because I had straight
shaking my hair because I had straight
shaking my hair because I had straight hair and it was still wet so throughout
hair and it was still wet so throughout
hair and it was still wet so throughout high school Shelly and I we would buy
high school Shelly and I we would buy
high school Shelly and I we would buy packs of orange kool-aid strawberry
packs of orange kool-aid strawberry
packs of orange kool-aid strawberry kool-aid even blackberry kool-aid to dye
kool-aid even blackberry kool-aid to dye
kool-aid even blackberry kool-aid to dye our hair so I would go to school
our hair so I would go to school
our hair so I would go to school burgundy one week orange another week we
burgundy one week orange another week we
burgundy one week orange another week we would take turns cutting each other’s
would take turns cutting each other’s
would take turns cutting each other’s hair we loved our hair we even got so
hair we loved our hair we even got so
hair we loved our hair we even got so fancy and bought some peroxide stuck our
fancy and bought some peroxide stuck our
fancy and bought some peroxide stuck our toothbrushes in the in the bottle and
toothbrushes in the in the bottle and
toothbrushes in the in the bottle and dyed our
dyed our
dyed our blonde we were fancy so when I became an
blonde we were fancy so when I became an
blonde we were fancy so when I became an adult I experimented with weeds I
adult I experimented with weeds I
adult I experimented with weeds I experimented with braids all of those
experimented with braids all of those
experimented with braids all of those things that I was able to do with my
things that I was able to do with my
things that I was able to do with my hair because I loved hair then I had two
hair because I loved hair then I had two
hair because I loved hair then I had two daughters and boy was I in here having
daughters and boy was I in here having
daughters and boy was I in here having again so you can imagine that this May I
again so you can imagine that this May I
again so you can imagine that this May I had in 2010 when I went to a
had in 2010 when I went to a
had in 2010 when I went to a dermatologist I noticed that the
dermatologist I noticed that the
dermatologist I noticed that the children loved hair that I had started
children loved hair that I had started
children loved hair that I had started coming out what was once long thick
coming out what was once long thick
coming out what was once long thick locks now they were being held on by
locks now they were being held on by
locks now they were being held on by four and five strands of hair I sat at
four and five strands of hair I sat at
four and five strands of hair I sat at her office she came back into the room
her office she came back into the room
her office she came back into the room she said Mr Barnett you have alopecia I
she said Mr Barnett you have alopecia I
she said Mr Barnett you have alopecia I said what is that
said what is that
said what is that she said you’re going bald I saw not
she said you’re going bald I saw not
she said you’re going bald I saw not even 40 yards that happens to old people
even 40 yards that happens to old people
even 40 yards that happens to old people she said ma’am this happens to about 40%
she said ma’am this happens to about 40%
she said ma’am this happens to about 40% of women I couldn’t believe it
of women I couldn’t believe it
of women I couldn’t believe it I was devastated I told her you have to
I was devastated I told her you have to
I was devastated I told her you have to fix this she said the only way to fix
fix this she said the only way to fix
fix this she said the only way to fix this is either shots pills or cream
this is either shots pills or cream
this is either shots pills or cream however those came with a laundry list
however those came with a laundry list
however those came with a laundry list of side effects you know how like on the
of side effects you know how like on the
of side effects you know how like on the commercials the man talks for three
commercials the man talks for three
commercials the man talks for three minutes about the side effects
minutes about the side effects
minutes about the side effects yeah those so I took the pamphlet took
yeah those so I took the pamphlet took
yeah those so I took the pamphlet took it home I cried like a baby to my
it home I cried like a baby to my
it home I cried like a baby to my husband and my husband said honey I love
husband and my husband said honey I love
husband and my husband said honey I love you it is just hair your hair does not
you it is just hair your hair does not
you it is just hair your hair does not matter to me your health does so I did
matter to me your health does so I did
matter to me your health does so I did not make that follow up a complaint move
not make that follow up a complaint move
not make that follow up a complaint move her a couple of weeks later as my hair
her a couple of weeks later as my hair
her a couple of weeks later as my hair continued to fall out I got up one
continued to fall out I got up one
continued to fall out I got up one Saturday morning I asked my husband to
Saturday morning I asked my husband to
Saturday morning I asked my husband to take me to the barbershop
take me to the barbershop
take me to the barbershop he said babe is Saturday I said I know
he said babe is Saturday I said I know
he said babe is Saturday I said I know so I went to the barbershop full of men
so I went to the barbershop full of men
so I went to the barbershop full of men on a Saturday and I sat in the chair and
on a Saturday and I sat in the chair and
on a Saturday and I sat in the chair and I asked the barber I said just take it
I asked the barber I said just take it
I asked the barber I said just take it all off he looked at me he said are you
all off he looked at me he said are you
all off he looked at me he said are you sure I just closed my eyes I just shook
sure I just closed my eyes I just shook
sure I just closed my eyes I just shook my head and my husband just nodded at
my head and my husband just nodded at
my head and my husband just nodded at him when he started cutting my hair if
him when he started cutting my hair if
him when he started cutting my hair if the scissors
the scissors
the scissors I watched each
I watched each
I watched each just fall on the ground then when those
just fall on the ground then when those
just fall on the ground then when those were gone he turned on those Clippers
were gone he turned on those Clippers
were gone he turned on those Clippers and the buzz of the Clippers just
and the buzz of the Clippers just
and the buzz of the Clippers just hugging me to my core he started to
hugging me to my core he started to
hugging me to my core he started to shear the remaining of my hair off and I
shear the remaining of my hair off and I
shear the remaining of my hair off and I heard a little boy say daddy why is that
heard a little boy say daddy why is that
heard a little boy say daddy why is that lady cutting her hair she’s gonna be
lady cutting her hair she’s gonna be
lady cutting her hair she’s gonna be bald and that hurt me because to him
bald and that hurt me because to him
bald and that hurt me because to him seeing a woman ball was a negative when
seeing a woman ball was a negative when
seeing a woman ball was a negative when we were done we got in the car and I
we were done we got in the car and I
we were done we got in the car and I cried and I cried and for about three
cried and I cried and for about three
cried and I cried and for about three years I faked that I was bald because I
years I faked that I was bald because I
years I faked that I was bald because I wanted to be I had people say wouldn’t
wanted to be I had people say wouldn’t
wanted to be I had people say wouldn’t you gonna grow your hair out and I would
you gonna grow your hair out and I would
you gonna grow your hair out and I would just come up with some type of excuse
just come up with some type of excuse
just come up with some type of excuse people offered me wigs
people offered me wigs
people offered me wigs you should try wigs I said I didn’t want
you should try wigs I said I didn’t want
you should try wigs I said I didn’t want to do that and eventually it came to a
to do that and eventually it came to a
to do that and eventually it came to a head when another friend of mine asked
head when another friend of mine asked
head when another friend of mine asked me about it and I went on social media
me about it and I went on social media
me about it and I went on social media and I got my PhD dissertation explains
and I got my PhD dissertation explains
and I got my PhD dissertation explains to people what was going on with me and
to people what was going on with me and
to people what was going on with me and can you imagine my surprise when my
can you imagine my surprise when my
can you imagine my surprise when my inbox started pinging with messages from
inbox started pinging with messages from
inbox started pinging with messages from women and men saying they were living
women and men saying they were living
women and men saying they were living with hair loss too but they were hiding
with hair loss too but they were hiding
with hair loss too but they were hiding it in that moment I found myself when I
it in that moment I found myself when I
it in that moment I found myself when I lost my hair in that moment I found the
lost my hair in that moment I found the
lost my hair in that moment I found the strength to be able to start the
strength to be able to start the
strength to be able to start the embracing your baldness conference where
embracing your baldness conference where
embracing your baldness conference where I invited women and girls to come and
I invited women and girls to come and
I invited women and girls to come and they were able to see other women and
they were able to see other women and
they were able to see other women and girls who had lost their hair – the
girls who had lost their hair – the
girls who had lost their hair – the beautiful thing about little girls is
beautiful thing about little girls is
beautiful thing about little girls is they were bothered by the hair it was
they were bothered by the hair it was
they were bothered by the hair it was their moms and their grandmas they ran
their moms and their grandmas they ran
their moms and their grandmas they ran around they had a good time they looked
around they had a good time they looked
around they had a good time they looked at me I looked at them they’re like your
at me I looked at them they’re like your
at me I looked at them they’re like your ball just like me I said I know I am and
ball just like me I said I know I am and
ball just like me I said I know I am and they’re reaffirms me and I was able to
they’re reaffirms me and I was able to
they’re reaffirms me and I was able to stand with my hair loss and I just want
stand with my hair loss and I just want
stand with my hair loss and I just want to leave you with this here recently I
to leave you with this here recently I
to leave you with this here recently I was tagged in a Facebook post by a
was tagged in a Facebook post by a
was tagged in a Facebook post by a friend of mine who was at that embracing
friend of mine who was at that embracing
friend of mine who was at that embracing your baldness conference several years
your baldness conference several years
your baldness conference several years ago and guess what she was bald
ago and guess what she was bald
ago and guess what she was bald she said just seeing all my different
she said just seeing all my different
she said just seeing all my different posts and me encouraging women it gave
posts and me encouraging women it gave
posts and me encouraging women it gave her the courage so finally goes to the
her the courage so finally goes to the
her the courage so finally goes to the barbershop and cut the rest of her hair
barbershop and cut the rest of her hair
barbershop and cut the rest of her hair off and so now she’s living bald too
off and so now she’s living bald too
off and so now she’s living bald too and I’m really excited that I was able
and I’m really excited that I was able
and I’m really excited that I was able to find myself when I lost my hair thank
to find myself when I lost my hair thank
to find myself when I lost my hair thank you
you
you [Applause]
”
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