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I Dare You | Sarah Khan | TEDxCamarillo


I know exactly what you’re thinking when

I know exactly what you’re thinking when you look at me no I’m not a ninja I just

you look at me no I’m not a ninja I just

you look at me no I’m not a ninja I just dress like one I know you’ve already

dress like one I know you’ve already

dress like one I know you’ve already guessed it I am a Muslim and this black

guessed it I am a Muslim and this black

guessed it I am a Muslim and this black cloak that I’m wearing is called an

cloak that I’m wearing is called an

cloak that I’m wearing is called an abaya

abaya

abaya you know I always loved wearing a bias

you know I always loved wearing a bias

you know I always loved wearing a bias not only to protect my privacy and to

not only to protect my privacy and to

not only to protect my privacy and to feel proud for being identified as a

feel proud for being identified as a

feel proud for being identified as a Muslim but also because I can literally

Muslim but also because I can literally

Muslim but also because I can literally get away with wearing hot pink pajamas

get away with wearing hot pink pajamas

get away with wearing hot pink pajamas and bunny slippers underneath and no one

and bunny slippers underneath and no one

and bunny slippers underneath and no one would ever know but I’m not today

would ever know but I’m not today

would ever know but I’m not today don’t worry yeah I’m actually wearing

don’t worry yeah I’m actually wearing

don’t worry yeah I’m actually wearing these sassy stilettos with hot pink

these sassy stilettos with hot pink

these sassy stilettos with hot pink pajamas but you know 2008 was actually

pajamas but you know 2008 was actually

pajamas but you know 2008 was actually the last time I were in the buy in

the last time I were in the buy in

the last time I were in the buy in public now I remember that summer I had

public now I remember that summer I had

public now I remember that summer I had gone grocery shopping with my two boys

gone grocery shopping with my two boys

gone grocery shopping with my two boys my then three year old gibreel and my

my then three year old gibreel and my

my then three year old gibreel and my three month old with Reese now I just

three month old with Reese now I just

three month old with Reese now I just parked my car in the parking lot when

parked my car in the parking lot when

parked my car in the parking lot when suddenly I see this tall blonde woman

suddenly I see this tall blonde woman

suddenly I see this tall blonde woman charging towards me and shouting I can

charging towards me and shouting I can

charging towards me and shouting I can see her discussing dress touching my car

see her discussing dress touching my car

see her discussing dress touching my car get away from my car you effing

get away from my car you effing

get away from my car you effing terrorist her car was part of right next

terrorist her car was part of right next

terrorist her car was part of right next to mine now as she started yelling

to mine now as she started yelling

to mine now as she started yelling profanities chhabria was petrified he

profanities chhabria was petrified he

profanities chhabria was petrified he started pulling on my bias saying mom

started pulling on my bias saying mom

started pulling on my bias saying mom let’s go now I was terrified too you

let’s go now I was terrified too you

let’s go now I was terrified too you know but I don’t want to show my fear in

know but I don’t want to show my fear in

know but I don’t want to show my fear in front of him but III was still in the

front of him but III was still in the

front of him but III was still in the car I couldn’t leave so I pleaded to her

car I couldn’t leave so I pleaded to her

car I couldn’t leave so I pleaded to her can I please just get my baby out I

can I please just get my baby out I

can I please just get my baby out I swear my dress is not going to touch

swear my dress is not going to touch

swear my dress is not going to touch your car but she wouldn’t stop yelling

your car but she wouldn’t stop yelling

your car but she wouldn’t stop yelling so I threatened to call the police as I

so I threatened to call the police as I

so I threatened to call the police as I took down a license plate number and

took down a license plate number and

took down a license plate number and then I grabbed both my kids and

then I grabbed both my kids and

then I grabbed both my kids and scrambled towards the store next thing I

scrambled towards the store next thing I

scrambled towards the store next thing I knew in her white SUV honking

knew in her white SUV honking

knew in her white SUV honking aggressively she started accelerating

aggressively she started accelerating

aggressively she started accelerating straight towards us

straight towards us

straight towards us she missed us by a mere foot that lady

she missed us by a mere foot that lady

she missed us by a mere foot that lady had used a car as a weapon against me

had used a car as a weapon against me

had used a car as a weapon against me you know at that point I broke down in

you know at that point I broke down in

you know at that point I broke down in tears now there were some people around

tears now there were some people around

tears now there were some people around who noticed my anguish but they just

who noticed my anguish but they just

who noticed my anguish but they just walked along as if nothing happened

walked along as if nothing happened

walked along as if nothing happened there was this one bystander who said to

there was this one bystander who said to

there was this one bystander who said to me I saw everything that was just wrong

me I saw everything that was just wrong

me I saw everything that was just wrong like what I’m so sorry you had to go

like what I’m so sorry you had to go

like what I’m so sorry you had to go through all this you know at that time

through all this you know at that time

through all this you know at that time all I wanted to say to her was then why

all I wanted to say to her was then why

all I wanted to say to her was then why didn’t you do something I had never felt

didn’t you do something I had never felt

didn’t you do something I had never felt this unsafe in my country before but all

this unsafe in my country before but all

this unsafe in my country before but all of that changed after 9/11 the horrific

of that changed after 9/11 the horrific

of that changed after 9/11 the horrific attacks of 9/11 gave birth to

Islamophobia witches fear of Islam or

Islamophobia witches fear of Islam or Muslims leading to hate when we dare to

Muslims leading to hate when we dare to

Muslims leading to hate when we dare to take a chance only then can we end

take a chance only then can we end

take a chance only then can we end Islamophobia now back in 1995 my parents

Islamophobia now back in 1995 my parents

Islamophobia now back in 1995 my parents and I migrated from India to America in

and I migrated from India to America in

and I migrated from India to America in pursuit of the American dream

pursuit of the American dream

pursuit of the American dream now by American Dream I don’t mean

now by American Dream I don’t mean

now by American Dream I don’t mean owning a 7-eleven I mean the American

owning a 7-eleven I mean the American

owning a 7-eleven I mean the American dream of being part of a country that

dream of being part of a country that

dream of being part of a country that embodies such high moral values and

embodies such high moral values and

embodies such high moral values and principles as Liberty justice and

principles as Liberty justice and

principles as Liberty justice and equality for all but 9/11 changed my

equality for all but 9/11 changed my

equality for all but 9/11 changed my life and lives of millions of Muslims in

life and lives of millions of Muslims in

life and lives of millions of Muslims in America because that day my faith became

America because that day my faith became

America because that day my faith became recognized by 19 terrorists 19

recognized by 19 terrorists 19

recognized by 19 terrorists 19 terrorists who hijacked my religion

terrorists who hijacked my religion

terrorists who hijacked my religion along with those planes and from that

along with those planes and from that

along with those planes and from that day onwards my entire Muslim community

day onwards my entire Muslim community

day onwards my entire Muslim community of 1.6 billion that’s right

of 1.6 billion that’s right

of 1.6 billion that’s right 1.6 billion were forced to bear the

1.6 billion were forced to bear the

1.6 billion were forced to bear the responsibility for those crimes and you

responsibility for those crimes and you

responsibility for those crimes and you know the last 16 years have been full of

know the last 16 years have been full of

know the last 16 years have been full of hate crimes against innocent Muslims in

hate crimes against innocent Muslims in

hate crimes against innocent Muslims in America who had nothing to do with those

America who had nothing to do with those

America who had nothing to do with those attacks you know just imagine random

attacks you know just imagine random

attacks you know just imagine random people yelling profanities at you in

people yelling profanities at you in

people yelling profanities at you in malls or in grocery stores imagine

malls or in grocery stores imagine

malls or in grocery stores imagine parents fearfully pulling the kids away

parents fearfully pulling the kids away

parents fearfully pulling the kids away from yours at parks or a plate rims

from yours at parks or a plate rims

from yours at parks or a plate rims imagine being told get out of my country

imagine being told get out of my country

imagine being told get out of my country you camel jockey not sad not only

you camel jockey not sad not only

you camel jockey not sad not only because it’s hateful but also because in

because it’s hateful but also because in

because it’s hateful but also because in India we ride elephants not camels but

India we ride elephants not camels but

India we ride elephants not camels but this hate this vitriol this was my

this hate this vitriol this was my

this hate this vitriol this was my reality and the extent of Islamophobia

reality and the extent of Islamophobia

reality and the extent of Islamophobia that surrounded me you know it was

that surrounded me you know it was

that surrounded me you know it was frightening just leaving my house

frightening just leaving my house

frightening just leaving my house because I never knew what it did it

because I never knew what it did it

because I never knew what it did it would bring me and my kids hateful

would bring me and my kids hateful

would bring me and my kids hateful stares of verbal abuse and that incident

stares of verbal abuse and that incident

stares of verbal abuse and that incident that hateful incident in the parking lot

that hateful incident in the parking lot

that hateful incident in the parking lot that was my breaking point I remember

that was my breaking point I remember

that was my breaking point I remember after that rushing to the police station

after that rushing to the police station

after that rushing to the police station sobbing I gave them the license-plate

sobbing I gave them the license-plate

sobbing I gave them the license-plate number along with the description of the

number along with the description of the

number along with the description of the lady and the car only to be told what

lady and the car only to be told what

lady and the car only to be told what happened to you was wrong I’m so sorry

happened to you was wrong I’m so sorry

happened to you was wrong I’m so sorry but you know since all of you guys are

but you know since all of you guys are

but you know since all of you guys are okay thankfully nobody’s hurt there’s

okay thankfully nobody’s hurt there’s

okay thankfully nobody’s hurt there’s really nothing we can do that’s when I

really nothing we can do that’s when I

really nothing we can do that’s when I realized that those who are meant to

realized that those who are meant to

realized that those who are meant to protect us all can’t protect me IRA drew

protect us all can’t protect me IRA drew

protect us all can’t protect me IRA drew into a show and developed a social

into a show and developed a social

into a show and developed a social phobia a phobia of white Americans now

phobia a phobia of white Americans now

phobia a phobia of white Americans now that phobia eventually turned into a

that phobia eventually turned into a

that phobia eventually turned into a agoraphobia I couldn’t leave the four

agoraphobia I couldn’t leave the four

agoraphobia I couldn’t leave the four walls of my house in fear of the hatred

walls of my house in fear of the hatred

walls of my house in fear of the hatred never elevated me outside I literally

never elevated me outside I literally

never elevated me outside I literally felt terrorized so I decided to seek

felt terrorized so I decided to seek

felt terrorized so I decided to seek professional help now when I shared my

professional help now when I shared my

professional help now when I shared my sense of helplessness with a therapist

sense of helplessness with a therapist

sense of helplessness with a therapist she said

she said

she said I’m so sorry – you’re everything that

I’m so sorry – you’re everything that

I’m so sorry – you’re everything that you went through but you know you can’t

you went through but you know you can’t

you went through but you know you can’t fully blame them for acting this way

fully blame them for acting this way

fully blame them for acting this way after all it’s your people who’ve been

after all it’s your people who’ve been

after all it’s your people who’ve been causing all of this havoc around the

causing all of this havoc around the

causing all of this havoc around the world that’s when I realized that those

world that’s when I realized that those

world that’s when I realized that those who are meant to help heal us all can’t

who are meant to help heal us all can’t

who are meant to help heal us all can’t heal me

Islamophobia this fear of the other

Islamophobia this fear of the other creates a wall of division that

creates a wall of division that

creates a wall of division that threatens our shared humanity I had

threatens our shared humanity I had

threatens our shared humanity I had never felt this hopeless this alone in

never felt this hopeless this alone in

never felt this hopeless this alone in my own country before now it wasn’t

my own country before now it wasn’t

my own country before now it wasn’t until I started noticing my oldest son

until I started noticing my oldest son

until I started noticing my oldest son gibreel

gibreel

gibreel exhibit similar anxiety in public places

exhibit similar anxiety in public places

exhibit similar anxiety in public places around fellow Americans that had dawned

around fellow Americans that had dawned

around fellow Americans that had dawned on me that I have to do something about

on me that I have to do something about

on me that I have to do something about this now I couldn’t have my boys fearing

this now I couldn’t have my boys fearing

this now I couldn’t have my boys fearing the very country in which they were born

the very country in which they were born

the very country in which they were born so after months of searching I was

so after months of searching I was

so after months of searching I was finally able to find the right therapist

finally able to find the right therapist

finally able to find the right therapist and the right treatment for myself to

and the right treatment for myself to

and the right treatment for myself to help me regain some of my

help me regain some of my

help me regain some of my self-confidence and self-esteem and

self-confidence and self-esteem and

self-confidence and self-esteem and that’s when I decided to dare myself so

that’s when I decided to dare myself so

that’s when I decided to dare myself so I took my first step out of the house

I took my first step out of the house

I took my first step out of the house and my second step well some people take

and my second step well some people take

and my second step well some people take baby steps I took on the number one fear

baby steps I took on the number one fear

baby steps I took on the number one fear of most people nope I don’t mean sitting

of most people nope I don’t mean sitting

of most people nope I don’t mean sitting next to a Muslim in a plane I mean

next to a Muslim in a plane I mean

next to a Muslim in a plane I mean public speaking because that was the

public speaking because that was the

public speaking because that was the only way I could reach out to the very

only way I could reach out to the very

only way I could reach out to the very people I feared my fellow white

people I feared my fellow white

people I feared my fellow white Americans you know I bet white people

Americans you know I bet white people

Americans you know I bet white people had no idea they could be so scary

had no idea they could be so scary

had no idea they could be so scary so I started speaking at various venues

so I started speaking at various venues

so I started speaking at various venues from churches schools synagogues

from churches schools synagogues

from churches schools synagogues corporations I did local TV interviews

corporations I did local TV interviews

corporations I did local TV interviews just sharing personal stories to give my

just sharing personal stories to give my

just sharing personal stories to give my fellow Americans a chance to get to know

fellow Americans a chance to get to know

fellow Americans a chance to get to know me a Muslim and you know the amazing

me a Muslim and you know the amazing

me a Muslim and you know the amazing thing was that when I started speaking

thing was that when I started speaking

thing was that when I started speaking before them I

before them I

before them I developing close friendships with many

developing close friendships with many

developing close friendships with many of them which made me realize that my

of them which made me realize that my

of them which made me realize that my own years of traumatic experiences of

own years of traumatic experiences of

own years of traumatic experiences of Islamophobia had actually turned be

Islamophobia had actually turned be

Islamophobia had actually turned be fearful of all white Americans until

fearful of all white Americans until

fearful of all white Americans until until I took a chance to get to know

until I took a chance to get to know

until I took a chance to get to know them personally and through our stories

them personally and through our stories

them personally and through our stories of vulnerability and courage we began to

of vulnerability and courage we began to

of vulnerability and courage we began to recognize and embrace our similarities

recognize and embrace our similarities

recognize and embrace our similarities you know I remember this one time a

you know I remember this one time a

you know I remember this one time a Christian audience member came up to me

Christian audience member came up to me

Christian audience member came up to me and said you know before I heard you

and said you know before I heard you

and said you know before I heard you speak I always wondered why do Muslims

speak I always wondered why do Muslims

speak I always wondered why do Muslims hate Americans

hate Americans

hate Americans but I now realize that you are an

but I now realize that you are an

but I now realize that you are an American

American

American there is really no us versus them in

there is really no us versus them in

there is really no us versus them in this one time my Jewish mentor confided

this one time my Jewish mentor confided

this one time my Jewish mentor confided in me saying you know Sarah growing up

in me saying you know Sarah growing up

in me saying you know Sarah growing up he always heard how Jews and Muslims can

he always heard how Jews and Muslims can

he always heard how Jews and Muslims can never be friends how they’re so

never be friends how they’re so

never be friends how they’re so different from each other but after

different from each other but after

different from each other but after being your friend I see how much we have

being your friend I see how much we have

being your friend I see how much we have in common and then my favorite my

in common and then my favorite my

in common and then my favorite my atheist friend once posted a picture of

atheist friend once posted a picture of

atheist friend once posted a picture of us on Facebook with a caption my

us on Facebook with a caption my

us on Facebook with a caption my favorite Muslim to which I replied dude

favorite Muslim to which I replied dude

favorite Muslim to which I replied dude I am the only Muslim you know

see see when we take a chance to get to

see see when we take a chance to get to know those we perceive as different from

know those we perceive as different from

know those we perceive as different from us we remove that fear of the other fear

us we remove that fear of the other fear

us we remove that fear of the other fear is the fuel that feeds the fire of hate

is the fuel that feeds the fire of hate

is the fuel that feeds the fire of hate so when hate leaves the heart it makes

so when hate leaves the heart it makes

so when hate leaves the heart it makes space for what emerges out of those

space for what emerges out of those

space for what emerges out of those relationships love respect and mutual

relationships love respect and mutual

relationships love respect and mutual understanding because we come to realize

understanding because we come to realize

understanding because we come to realize that even though we do come in different

that even though we do come in different

that even though we do come in different shapes and sizes and colors we still

shapes and sizes and colors we still

shapes and sizes and colors we still share the same hopes the same dreams the

share the same hopes the same dreams the

share the same hopes the same dreams the same fears it is our shared humanity

same fears it is our shared humanity

same fears it is our shared humanity that brings harmony to a civilized

that brings harmony to a civilized

that brings harmony to a civilized society sadly today in America we are at

society sadly today in America we are at

society sadly today in America we are at a juncture in our lives where our

a juncture in our lives where our

a juncture in our lives where our harmonies being threatened anti-muslim

harmonies being threatened anti-muslim

harmonies being threatened anti-muslim hate crimes have been occurring at the

hate crimes have been occurring at the

hate crimes have been occurring at the highest level since 9/11 this talk of a

highest level since 9/11 this talk of a

highest level since 9/11 this talk of a Muslim registry of putting surveillance

Muslim registry of putting surveillance

Muslim registry of putting surveillance of American American Muslims of banning

of American American Muslims of banning

of American American Muslims of banning Muslims from entering the u.s.

Muslims from entering the u.s.

Muslims from entering the u.s. altogether Muslim women who wear a hijab

altogether Muslim women who wear a hijab

altogether Muslim women who wear a hijab or an abaya are becoming easy targets of

or an abaya are becoming easy targets of

or an abaya are becoming easy targets of hate crimes hate kills humanity so

hate crimes hate kills humanity so

hate crimes hate kills humanity so Islamophobia is not only a threat to our

Islamophobia is not only a threat to our

Islamophobia is not only a threat to our civil liberties but it’s also a threat

civil liberties but it’s also a threat

civil liberties but it’s also a threat to the integrity of this entire country

to the integrity of this entire country

to the integrity of this entire country I ask you all to dig back into your past

I ask you all to dig back into your past

I ask you all to dig back into your past your stories from generations ago you

your stories from generations ago you

your stories from generations ago you know part from Native Americans we are

know part from Native Americans we are

know part from Native Americans we are all immigrants here isn’t it I the first

all immigrants here isn’t it I the first

all immigrants here isn’t it I the first generation immigrant like myself or

generation immigrant like myself or

generation immigrant like myself or descendants of immigrants so it’s the

descendants of immigrants so it’s the

descendants of immigrants so it’s the values and the principles of liberty

values and the principles of liberty

values and the principles of liberty justice and equality for all that

justice and equality for all that

justice and equality for all that brought the best and the brightest minds

brought the best and the brightest minds

brought the best and the brightest minds to this nation to make it one of the

to this nation to make it one of the

to this nation to make it one of the best nations of all so when those values

best nations of all so when those values

best nations of all so when those values and principles are being threatened

and principles are being threatened

and principles are being threatened because of Islamophobia then it is our

because of Islamophobia then it is our

because of Islamophobia then it is our moral responsibility

moral responsibility

moral responsibility t do not only stop the perpetuation of

t do not only stop the perpetuation of

t do not only stop the perpetuation of hate but also to reach out to the

hate but also to reach out to the

hate but also to reach out to the victims of it so you might ask what can

victims of it so you might ask what can

victims of it so you might ask what can we do to help change this phenomena well

we do to help change this phenomena well

we do to help change this phenomena well I ask you to take a chance to get to

I ask you to take a chance to get to

I ask you to take a chance to get to know your Muslim neighbor your kids

know your Muslim neighbor your kids

know your Muslim neighbor your kids Muslim classmate your muslim doctor your

Muslim classmate your muslim doctor your

Muslim classmate your muslim doctor your muslim lawyer or even your muslim uber

muslim lawyer or even your muslim uber

muslim lawyer or even your muslim uber driver

it only takes getting to know one Muslim

it only takes getting to know one Muslim personally to realize that Muslims are

personally to realize that Muslims are

personally to realize that Muslims are being unfairly represented in public I

being unfairly represented in public I

being unfairly represented in public I Scholar of religions reza aslan once

Scholar of religions reza aslan once

Scholar of religions reza aslan once said in an interview the media’s job is

said in an interview the media’s job is

said in an interview the media’s job is to report on the planes that crash not

to report on the planes that crash not

to report on the planes that crash not the planes that take off safely so if

the planes that take off safely so if

the planes that take off safely so if all you knew about planes was from what

all you knew about planes was from what

all you knew about planes was from what you saw in the media then you’d assume

you saw in the media then you’d assume

you saw in the media then you’d assume every single plane crashes say you see

every single plane crashes say you see

every single plane crashes say you see the media only reports the 0.0002

the media only reports the 0.0002

the media only reports the 0.0002 percent of Muslims who commit terrorist

percent of Muslims who commit terrorist

percent of Muslims who commit terrorist acts wrongfully in the name of their

acts wrongfully in the name of their

acts wrongfully in the name of their religion and not the millions of

religion and not the millions of

religion and not the millions of peace-loving Muslims who contribute to

peace-loving Muslims who contribute to

peace-loving Muslims who contribute to society so if all you knew about Muslims

society so if all you knew about Muslims

society so if all you knew about Muslims was from what you saw in the media then

was from what you saw in the media then

was from what you saw in the media then you would fear Muslims assuming every

you would fear Muslims assuming every

you would fear Muslims assuming every Muslim is either a terrorist or a

Muslim is either a terrorist or a

Muslim is either a terrorist or a sympathizer so take a chance to get to

sympathizer so take a chance to get to

sympathizer so take a chance to get to know us and if you ever see a Muslim

know us and if you ever see a Muslim

know us and if you ever see a Muslim being harassed please don’t be a

being harassed please don’t be a

being harassed please don’t be a bystander

bystander

bystander if you can’t intervene just reach out to

if you can’t intervene just reach out to

if you can’t intervene just reach out to them comfort them console them just let

them comfort them console them just let

them comfort them console them just let them know that they are not the other I

stand here today as an American sharing

stand here today as an American sharing my story of outreach to the very people

my story of outreach to the very people

my story of outreach to the very people I once feared

I once feared

I once feared while wearing hot pink pajamas with

while wearing hot pink pajamas with

while wearing hot pink pajamas with stilettos but not just to me many Muslim

stilettos but not just to me many Muslim

stilettos but not just to me many Muslim organizations and individuals have been

organizations and individuals have been

organizations and individuals have been actively reaching out today whether it

actively reaching out today whether it

actively reaching out today whether it be through publicly condemning terrorism

be through publicly condemning terrorism

be through publicly condemning terrorism or through clearing misconceptions about

or through clearing misconceptions about

or through clearing misconceptions about the Quran or holding interfaith

the Quran or holding interfaith

the Quran or holding interfaith activities like open mosque days it has

activities like open mosque days it has

activities like open mosque days it has a verse in our Holy Quran where God says

a verse in our Holy Quran where God says

a verse in our Holy Quran where God says we have made you into nations and tribes

we have made you into nations and tribes

we have made you into nations and tribes so that you may get to know one another

so if we wish to preserve this country

so if we wish to preserve this country as a nation of diversity and equality

as a nation of diversity and equality

as a nation of diversity and equality for all then we must take a chance to

for all then we must take a chance to

for all then we must take a chance to get to know one another and overcome

get to know one another and overcome

get to know one another and overcome this fear of the other when we dare to

this fear of the other when we dare to

this fear of the other when we dare to take a chance only then can we end

take a chance only then can we end

take a chance only then can we end Islamophobia and reclaim our shared

Islamophobia and reclaim our shared

Islamophobia and reclaim our shared humanity so I dare you

”

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