Fear is a Piece of Paper | Purva Joshi | TEDxYouth@SHC

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it’s after school I’m sitting at my desk

it’s after school I’m sitting at my desk and you wouldn’t know it there’s an

and you wouldn’t know it there’s an

and you wouldn’t know it there’s an action movie going on in my head my mind

action movie going on in my head my mind

action movie going on in my head my mind is racing and the gears in it are

is racing and the gears in it are

is racing and the gears in it are spinning so fast it almost feels like

spinning so fast it almost feels like

spinning so fast it almost feels like they’re on overdrive it’s pretty chaotic

they’re on overdrive it’s pretty chaotic

they’re on overdrive it’s pretty chaotic and though my thoughts seem all over the

and though my thoughts seem all over the

and though my thoughts seem all over the place each and every one of them is

place each and every one of them is

place each and every one of them is focused on one thing fear head and I can

focused on one thing fear head and I can

focused on one thing fear head and I can feel my heart beating loudly in my chest

feel my heart beating loudly in my chest

feel my heart beating loudly in my chest I can hear my uneven breathing and I

I can hear my uneven breathing and I

I can hear my uneven breathing and I noticed that my hands are mindlessly

noticed that my hands are mindlessly

noticed that my hands are mindlessly ripping a piece of paper

ripping a piece of paper

ripping a piece of paper I hate these feelings but I can’t get

I hate these feelings but I can’t get

I hate these feelings but I can’t get away from them because fear is just too

away from them because fear is just too

away from them because fear is just too strong and I am already really tired

since the beginning of eighth grade I

since the beginning of eighth grade I was wasting life being afraid of the

was wasting life being afraid of the

was wasting life being afraid of the things that could happen in it I was

things that could happen in it I was

things that could happen in it I was afraid of not being up to people’s

afraid of not being up to people’s

afraid of not being up to people’s expectations and I wanted so much to

expectations and I wanted so much to

expectations and I wanted so much to please everyone else that I became

please everyone else that I became

please everyone else that I became overwhelmed with the belief that I was

overwhelmed with the belief that I was

overwhelmed with the belief that I was inadequate I told myself I’m not good

inadequate I told myself I’m not good

inadequate I told myself I’m not good enough for my parents for my teachers

enough for my parents for my teachers

enough for my parents for my teachers for my friends and for the people I

for my friends and for the people I

for my friends and for the people I haven’t even met yet but we’ll meet I

haven’t even met yet but we’ll meet I

haven’t even met yet but we’ll meet I was afraid of my grades dropping and

was afraid of my grades dropping and

was afraid of my grades dropping and falling behind others and I forgot that

falling behind others and I forgot that

falling behind others and I forgot that life is not a race and I didn’t want to

life is not a race and I didn’t want to

life is not a race and I didn’t want to try new things because I was afraid of

try new things because I was afraid of

try new things because I was afraid of failure that again could follow fear

failure that again could follow fear

failure that again could follow fear found a place in me and like the magnet

found a place in me and like the magnet

found a place in me and like the magnet that it is it brought more emotions of

that it is it brought more emotions of

that it is it brought more emotions of sadness anger and jealousy for quite a

sadness anger and jealousy for quite a

sadness anger and jealousy for quite a while it was like life was flashing a

while it was like life was flashing a

while it was like life was flashing a billboard that just said

billboard that just said

billboard that just said fear fear fear and it was exhausting to

fear fear fear and it was exhausting to

fear fear fear and it was exhausting to have to keep worrying about everything

have to keep worrying about everything

have to keep worrying about everything that could go wrong so I decided to do

that could go wrong so I decided to do

that could go wrong so I decided to do something about it that day after I

something about it that day after I

something about it that day after I managed to calm myself enough I looked

managed to calm myself enough I looked

managed to calm myself enough I looked down at my hands and found that I had

down at my hands and found that I had

down at my hands and found that I had been ripping papers and I began to

been ripping papers and I began to

been ripping papers and I began to wonder about how flimsy paper is and how

wonder about how flimsy paper is and how

wonder about how flimsy paper is and how easily it could be torn apart when I was

easily it could be torn apart when I was

easily it could be torn apart when I was done there was just one tiny piece left

done there was just one tiny piece left

done there was just one tiny piece left in the palm of my hand that I could

in the palm of my hand that I could

in the palm of my hand that I could easily hold in my fist and that’s when

easily hold in my fist and that’s when

easily hold in my fist and that’s when it came to me fear was just like this

it came to me fear was just like this

it came to me fear was just like this piece of paper and that it could be torn

piece of paper and that it could be torn

piece of paper and that it could be torn apart it’s quite the revelation right

apart it’s quite the revelation right

apart it’s quite the revelation right actually wrong it’s a pretty simple fear

actually wrong it’s a pretty simple fear

actually wrong it’s a pretty simple fear can only be as powerful as we let it be

can only be as powerful as we let it be

can only be as powerful as we let it be at that moment I decided to tear the

at that moment I decided to tear the

at that moment I decided to tear the paper for everything I was afraid of

paper for everything I was afraid of

paper for everything I was afraid of I was scared of people judging me after

I was scared of people judging me after

I was scared of people judging me after tearing the paper

tearing the paper

tearing the paper I found that though I do care what

I found that though I do care what

I found that though I do care what people think of me in the end

people think of me in the end

people think of me in the end this life is mine and what I decide to

this life is mine and what I decide to

this life is mine and what I decide to do with it will bring it to where it

do with it will bring it to where it

do with it will bring it to where it will be while others think of me and my

will be while others think of me and my

will be while others think of me and my decisions will be secondary to what I

decisions will be secondary to what I

decisions will be secondary to what I believe about myself and my decisions I

believe about myself and my decisions I

believe about myself and my decisions I was afraid of my grades dropping and

was afraid of my grades dropping and

was afraid of my grades dropping and falling behind others but I’d tore the

falling behind others but I’d tore the

falling behind others but I’d tore the paper and I know now that though grades

paper and I know now that though grades

paper and I know now that though grades are important it is even more important

are important it is even more important

are important it is even more important to me that I’m trying my best working

to me that I’m trying my best working

to me that I’m trying my best working hard and staying healthy I refuse to

hard and staying healthy I refuse to

hard and staying healthy I refuse to allow letters control or define me and

allow letters control or define me and

allow letters control or define me and yes I was afraid of falling behind

yes I was afraid of falling behind

yes I was afraid of falling behind others but I tore the paper and I

others but I tore the paper and I

others but I tore the paper and I realized I can never be the best because

realized I can never be the best because

realized I can never be the best because there’s always someone better and that

there’s always someone better and that

there’s always someone better and that is completely fine

is completely fine

is completely fine rather than being jealous of others all

rather than being jealous of others all

rather than being jealous of others all the time I want to focus on bettering

the time I want to focus on bettering

the time I want to focus on bettering self and doing the best I can learning

self and doing the best I can learning

self and doing the best I can learning from what I do right and especially what

from what I do right and especially what

from what I do right and especially what I do wrong because we know there will be

I do wrong because we know there will be

I do wrong because we know there will be a lot of those and though I was afraid

a lot of those and though I was afraid

a lot of those and though I was afraid of failure I am not afraid of failing

of failure I am not afraid of failing

of failure I am not afraid of failing anymore because I tore the paper and I

anymore because I tore the paper and I

anymore because I tore the paper and I realized that if I never try I will

realized that if I never try I will

realized that if I never try I will never know if success is waiting for me

never know if success is waiting for me

never know if success is waiting for me and if I do fail that will just be one

and if I do fail that will just be one

and if I do fail that will just be one more thing for me to work harder at or

more thing for me to work harder at or

more thing for me to work harder at or one thing for me to let go now

one thing for me to let go now

one thing for me to let go now all this is great but what strikes me

all this is great but what strikes me

all this is great but what strikes me most when I look back is that it was a

most when I look back is that it was a

most when I look back is that it was a change in perspective that allowed me to

change in perspective that allowed me to

change in perspective that allowed me to stop being afraid nothing more all it

stop being afraid nothing more all it

stop being afraid nothing more all it took for me to regain control of life

took for me to regain control of life

took for me to regain control of life was taking a step back and looking at

was taking a step back and looking at

was taking a step back and looking at problems through a different lens every

problems through a different lens every

problems through a different lens every day someone falls to the trap of fear

day someone falls to the trap of fear

day someone falls to the trap of fear and depression and every time that

and depression and every time that

and depression and every time that happens the world loses one of its parks

happens the world loses one of its parks

happens the world loses one of its parks I cannot count how many young adults I

I cannot count how many young adults I

I cannot count how many young adults I know that are truly undergoing these

know that are truly undergoing these

know that are truly undergoing these feelings but are many times overlooked

feelings but are many times overlooked

feelings but are many times overlooked we have become a society where we want

we have become a society where we want

we have become a society where we want to push ourselves to the maximum and

to push ourselves to the maximum and

to push ourselves to the maximum and perfection is our ultimate goal but

perfection is our ultimate goal but

perfection is our ultimate goal but because of this view we become afraid of

because of this view we become afraid of

because of this view we become afraid of failure and we become angry at ourselves

failure and we become angry at ourselves

failure and we become angry at ourselves when we do fail but how are we to stop

when we do fail but how are we to stop

when we do fail but how are we to stop this the truth is I don’t think anything

this the truth is I don’t think anything

this the truth is I don’t think anything can completely stop this trend but I do

can completely stop this trend but I do

can completely stop this trend but I do know that thinking of fear as a piece of

know that thinking of fear as a piece of

know that thinking of fear as a piece of paper has really helped me I know that

paper has really helped me I know that

paper has really helped me I know that if we can actually implement the idea

if we can actually implement the idea

if we can actually implement the idea little by little a world of positive

little by little a world of positive

little by little a world of positive emotions that fear has hidden away opens

emotions that fear has hidden away opens

emotions that fear has hidden away opens up to us I no longer feel so afraid that

up to us I no longer feel so afraid that

up to us I no longer feel so afraid that I am overwhelmed because I know that

I am overwhelmed because I know that

I am overwhelmed because I know that fear only has the amount of power I

fear only has the amount of power I

fear only has the amount of power I allow it to have and it is awesome to

allow it to have and it is awesome to

allow it to have and it is awesome to know that just a change in perspective

know that just a change in perspective

know that just a change in perspective can make it a flimsy shred of paper in

can make it a flimsy shred of paper in

can make it a flimsy shred of paper in the palm of my hand

the palm of my hand

the palm of my hand thank you