I spent the first six years of my life deaf
deaf
deaf I had a eustachian tube disorder that
I had a eustachian tube disorder that
I had a eustachian tube disorder that resulted in significant conductive
resulted in significant conductive
resulted in significant conductive hearing loss in both ears normally this
hearing loss in both ears normally this
hearing loss in both ears normally this type of hearing loss can be addressed
type of hearing loss can be addressed
type of hearing loss can be addressed relatively successful medically with as
relatively successful medically with as
relatively successful medically with as early as one year old but in my
early as one year old but in my
early as one year old but in my situation that was not the case my
situation that was not the case my
situation that was not the case my deafness was not addressed or medically
deafness was not addressed or medically
deafness was not addressed or medically treated until I enrolled into school at
treated until I enrolled into school at
treated until I enrolled into school at which point my apparent deafness
which point my apparent deafness
which point my apparent deafness prompted referrals to appropriate
prompted referrals to appropriate
prompted referrals to appropriate specialists I had surgery pretty much
specialists I had surgery pretty much
specialists I had surgery pretty much immediately afterwards the results of my
immediately afterwards the results of my
immediately afterwards the results of my first surgery were partially successful
first surgery were partially successful
first surgery were partially successful my right ear for all intents and
my right ear for all intents and
my right ear for all intents and purposes was fixed my doctors later
purposes was fixed my doctors later
purposes was fixed my doctors later informed me that if the first surgery
informed me that if the first surgery
informed me that if the first surgery hadn’t worked I would have had to go to
hadn’t worked I would have had to go to
hadn’t worked I would have had to go to school for the – a school for the deaf
school for the – a school for the deaf
school for the – a school for the deaf because I was already so behind on
because I was already so behind on
because I was already so behind on language and I wasn’t exposed to any
language and I wasn’t exposed to any
language and I wasn’t exposed to any language I hadn’t been exposed to a
language I hadn’t been exposed to a
language I hadn’t been exposed to a language either formally signed or
language either formally signed or
language either formally signed or spoken but I was so behind I couldn’t
spoken but I was so behind I couldn’t
spoken but I was so behind I couldn’t afford any further delay now some of you
afford any further delay now some of you
afford any further delay now some of you might be itching to ask if I remember
might be itching to ask if I remember
might be itching to ask if I remember what it was like to first hear but sadly
what it was like to first hear but sadly
what it was like to first hear but sadly the truth is that I don’t some research
the truth is that I don’t some research
the truth is that I don’t some research says that language is actually a
says that language is actually a
says that language is actually a critical part to forming memories and so
critical part to forming memories and so
critical part to forming memories and so I have no more than a handful of
I have no more than a handful of
I have no more than a handful of memories from when I was little but I do
memories from when I was little but I do
memories from when I was little but I do have a few I have a memory of me sitting
have a few I have a memory of me sitting
have a few I have a memory of me sitting less than an inch from the TV longing
less than an inch from the TV longing
less than an inch from the TV longing for this faint something I was feeling I
for this faint something I was feeling I
for this faint something I was feeling I also remember going into and coming out
also remember going into and coming out
also remember going into and coming out of and waking up for my first surgery I
of and waking up for my first surgery I
of and waking up for my first surgery I remember my doctor my ENT doctor sitting
remember my doctor my ENT doctor sitting
remember my doctor my ENT doctor sitting in a swivel chair to my left as I laid
in a swivel chair to my left as I laid
in a swivel chair to my left as I laid in the stretcher in the operating room I
in the stretcher in the operating room I
in the stretcher in the operating room I remember the smell of the cherry flavor
remember the smell of the cherry flavor
remember the smell of the cherry flavor that they put on the breathing mask as I
that they put on the breathing mask as I
that they put on the breathing mask as I fell asleep
fell asleep
fell asleep I remember my head feeling heavy from
I remember my head feeling heavy from
I remember my head feeling heavy from anesthesia waking up afterwards
anesthesia waking up afterwards
anesthesia waking up afterwards and I remember the fluorescent lights
and I remember the fluorescent lights
and I remember the fluorescent lights peeking through the boringly beige
peeking through the boringly beige
peeking through the boringly beige plastic machines to my right but for the
plastic machines to my right but for the
plastic machines to my right but for the memories after my first surgery the
memories after my first surgery the
memories after my first surgery the memories of elementary school well
memories of elementary school well
memories of elementary school well they’re mostly of struggle and panic
they’re mostly of struggle and panic
they’re mostly of struggle and panic struggle
struggle
struggle to learn something obviously so
to learn something obviously so
to learn something obviously so fundamental that everybody knew but me I
fundamental that everybody knew but me I
fundamental that everybody knew but me I remember being made fun of because I
remember being made fun of because I
remember being made fun of because I couldn’t correctly pronounce my best
couldn’t correctly pronounce my best
couldn’t correctly pronounce my best friend’s name that I was constantly
friend’s name that I was constantly
friend’s name that I was constantly calling out
calling out
calling out I remember the perpetual feeling of
I remember the perpetual feeling of
I remember the perpetual feeling of being wrong in my daily speech language
being wrong in my daily speech language
being wrong in my daily speech language therapy lessons but word guessing I
therapy lessons but word guessing I
therapy lessons but word guessing I remember the confusion of conversations
remember the confusion of conversations
remember the confusion of conversations because I couldn’t understand someone if
because I couldn’t understand someone if
because I couldn’t understand someone if they didn’t sit close to me or on my
they didn’t sit close to me or on my
they didn’t sit close to me or on my good side
good side
good side I remember the annoyance of my friends
I remember the annoyance of my friends
I remember the annoyance of my friends because they would have to endlessly
because they would have to endlessly
because they would have to endlessly repeat themselves because I couldn’t
repeat themselves because I couldn’t
repeat themselves because I couldn’t make out what they were saying in the
make out what they were saying in the
make out what they were saying in the noisy world of school hallways and
noisy world of school hallways and
noisy world of school hallways and cafeterias and I remember being told I
cafeterias and I remember being told I
cafeterias and I remember being told I was bad at singing more times than I can
was bad at singing more times than I can
was bad at singing more times than I can count I can still feel the pressure
count I can still feel the pressure
count I can still feel the pressure cooker sensation of being surrounded by
cooker sensation of being surrounded by
cooker sensation of being surrounded by hearing people that had a huge head
hearing people that had a huge head
hearing people that had a huge head start on things like reading and
start on things like reading and
start on things like reading and speaking I spent the next 11 years of my
speaking I spent the next 11 years of my
speaking I spent the next 11 years of my life essentially half deaf I got
life essentially half deaf I got
life essentially half deaf I got accustomed to the world asymmetrically
accustomed to the world asymmetrically
accustomed to the world asymmetrically and I had a strong dominant side that I
and I had a strong dominant side that I
and I had a strong dominant side that I relied on for everything I use it to
relied on for everything I use it to
relied on for everything I use it to make sense with my surroundings in my
make sense with my surroundings in my
make sense with my surroundings in my world and to learn this English language
world and to learn this English language
world and to learn this English language I also used it to learn music and
I also used it to learn music and
I also used it to learn music and eventually foreign languages when they
eventually foreign languages when they
eventually foreign languages when they became a requirement in my school
became a requirement in my school
became a requirement in my school district I would have three more repeat
district I would have three more repeat
district I would have three more repeat surgeries over the course of the next
surgeries over the course of the next
surgeries over the course of the next eleven years every approximately every
eleven years every approximately every
eleven years every approximately every three years on my left ear with the
three years on my left ear with the
three years on my left ear with the occasional tongue selected me and
occasional tongue selected me and
occasional tongue selected me and adenoidectomy to see if it would help my
adenoidectomy to see if it would help my
adenoidectomy to see if it would help my chances but during this time I was very
chances but during this time I was very
chances but during this time I was very much performing below par I was reading
much performing below par I was reading
much performing below par I was reading at a first-grader level in the fifth
at a first-grader level in the fifth
at a first-grader level in the fifth grade and I vividly remember this
grade and I vividly remember this
grade and I vividly remember this because they would color code the books
because they would color code the books
because they would color code the books and separate them into different bins
and separate them into different bins
and separate them into different bins based on reading level it was so
based on reading level it was so
based on reading level it was so embarrassing to be struggling through a
embarrassing to be struggling through a
embarrassing to be struggling through a ten page children’s book well my friends
ten page children’s book well my friends
ten page children’s book well my friends were flipping through the Goosebumps
were flipping through the Goosebumps
were flipping through the Goosebumps series or even the first Harry Potter
series or even the first Harry Potter
series or even the first Harry Potter book it was so embarrassing in fact I
book it was so embarrassing in fact I
book it was so embarrassing in fact I would pretend to read higher reading
would pretend to read higher reading
would pretend to read higher reading levels during silent reading in class
levels during silent reading in class
levels during silent reading in class often timing my page turning and working
often timing my page turning and working
often timing my page turning and working I’m
I’m
I’m reading face learning from my classmates
so when it came time for current events
so when it came time for current events I would beg my best friend and neighbor
I would beg my best friend and neighbor
I would beg my best friend and neighbor at the time if I could have an article
at the time if I could have an article
at the time if I could have an article out of his family as a newspaper and he
out of his family as a newspaper and he
out of his family as a newspaper and he would say to me if you can read the
would say to me if you can read the
would say to me if you can read the headline you can have it
headline you can have it
headline you can have it which seems fair and so I would first go
which seems fair and so I would first go
which seems fair and so I would first go for things I thought might be
for things I thought might be
for things I thought might be low-hanging fruit things I might have
low-hanging fruit things I might have
low-hanging fruit things I might have seen on TV and I could match for the
seen on TV and I could match for the
seen on TV and I could match for the picture in the paper but they didn’t
picture in the paper but they didn’t
picture in the paper but they didn’t print paper or newspaper at my reading
print paper or newspaper at my reading
print paper or newspaper at my reading level and so often I would end up crying
level and so often I would end up crying
level and so often I would end up crying in tears struggling through the entire
in tears struggling through the entire
in tears struggling through the entire paper without success Jimmy or as I
paper without success Jimmy or as I
paper without success Jimmy or as I called him Timmy enforced a tough love
called him Timmy enforced a tough love
called him Timmy enforced a tough love kind of approach now in elementary
kind of approach now in elementary
kind of approach now in elementary school by the end of elementary school I
school by the end of elementary school I
school by the end of elementary school I was starting to get a little bit better
was starting to get a little bit better
was starting to get a little bit better but it’s really fascinating the
but it’s really fascinating the
but it’s really fascinating the psychology behind assumed roles I’ve
psychology behind assumed roles I’ve
psychology behind assumed roles I’ve always found it interesting how early we
always found it interesting how early we
always found it interesting how early we can learn them we all know even in
can learn them we all know even in
can learn them we all know even in elementary school who was the class
elementary school who was the class
elementary school who was the class clown the teacher’s pet the smart ones
clown the teacher’s pet the smart ones
clown the teacher’s pet the smart ones and I at least in the beginning
and I at least in the beginning
and I at least in the beginning fulfilled the role of the dumb one very
fulfilled the role of the dumb one very
fulfilled the role of the dumb one very little was demanded of me and there was
little was demanded of me and there was
little was demanded of me and there was sort of a status quo of she can’t hear
sort of a status quo of she can’t hear
sort of a status quo of she can’t hear too well allowance that I firmly believe
too well allowance that I firmly believe
too well allowance that I firmly believe bumped me from one grade to another that
bumped me from one grade to another that
bumped me from one grade to another that was until mrs. Rosenberg she didn’t
was until mrs. Rosenberg she didn’t
was until mrs. Rosenberg she didn’t accept excuses and she demanded that I
accept excuses and she demanded that I
accept excuses and she demanded that I meet her expectations what she said
meet her expectations what she said
meet her expectations what she said exceedingly high she expected me to try
exceedingly high she expected me to try
exceedingly high she expected me to try and she reminded me that everything was
and she reminded me that everything was
and she reminded me that everything was a choice that everything I did was a
a choice that everything I did was a
a choice that everything I did was a choice and in order to move on and to
choice and in order to move on and to
choice and in order to move on and to move past her I would have to try and so
move past her I would have to try and so
move past her I would have to try and so I did and so it took a long time before
I did and so it took a long time before
I did and so it took a long time before I start to feel comfortable academically
I start to feel comfortable academically
I start to feel comfortable academically or in school or even picking up a book
or in school or even picking up a book
or in school or even picking up a book to be honest still today I have some
to be honest still today I have some
to be honest still today I have some residual dread of taking a book off the
residual dread of taking a book off the
residual dread of taking a book off the shelf I often think to myself oh my god
shelf I often think to myself oh my god
shelf I often think to myself oh my god there’s so many words in here I probably
there’s so many words in here I probably
there’s so many words in here I probably don’t know many of them I’ll have to
don’t know many of them I’ll have to
don’t know many of them I’ll have to learn
learn
learn but I won’t know how to pronounce them
but I won’t know how to pronounce them
but I won’t know how to pronounce them how long is this going to take me but it
how long is this going to take me but it
how long is this going to take me but it all started there with Timmy sending me
all started there with Timmy sending me
all started there with Timmy sending me back home across the street without an
back home across the street without an
back home across the street without an article in my hand because I had failed
article in my hand because I had failed
article in my hand because I had failed to read every headline in the newspaper
to read every headline in the newspaper
to read every headline in the newspaper and that love of a stubborn Jewish woman
and that love of a stubborn Jewish woman
and that love of a stubborn Jewish woman that wouldn’t budge a negotiation that
that wouldn’t budge a negotiation that
that wouldn’t budge a negotiation that was my future they would set into place
was my future they would set into place
was my future they would set into place the mental habits that would lead me to
the mental habits that would lead me to
the mental habits that would lead me to brown now nothing changed overnight or
brown now nothing changed overnight or
brown now nothing changed overnight or neither nor within a few years middle
neither nor within a few years middle
neither nor within a few years middle school was a real challenge but I was
school was a real challenge but I was
school was a real challenge but I was trying and trying was having positive
trying and trying was having positive
trying and trying was having positive results and so I and I was heading in
results and so I and I was heading in
results and so I and I was heading in the right direction I naturally did
the right direction I naturally did
the right direction I naturally did better with things like numbers and math
better with things like numbers and math
better with things like numbers and math I found the predictability refreshing
I found the predictability refreshing
I found the predictability refreshing and much less torturous than English and
and much less torturous than English and
and much less torturous than English and I was middle school was also when I was
I was middle school was also when I was
I was middle school was also when I was introduced to Spanish a subject that I
introduced to Spanish a subject that I
introduced to Spanish a subject that I always liked and something that I have
always liked and something that I have
always liked and something that I have historically not struggled with I found
historically not struggled with I found
historically not struggled with I found the predictability of sound refreshing I
the predictability of sound refreshing I
the predictability of sound refreshing I also loved phonetic nature of the
also loved phonetic nature of the
also loved phonetic nature of the language
language
language I loved that at times it was much easier
I loved that at times it was much easier
I loved that at times it was much easier than English it was also in middle
than English it was also in middle
than English it was also in middle school during our last year that we were
school during our last year that we were
school during our last year that we were allowed to stop taking band which was
allowed to stop taking band which was
allowed to stop taking band which was something that was required since we
something that was required since we
something that was required since we were in fourth grade and even though I
were in fourth grade and even though I
were in fourth grade and even though I was absolutely horrendous that band I
was absolutely horrendous that band I
was absolutely horrendous that band I had no intention of stopping and this
had no intention of stopping and this
had no intention of stopping and this was because not because I loved how band
was because not because I loved how band
was because not because I loved how band sounded but I loved how it felt I love
sounded but I loved how it felt I love
sounded but I loved how it felt I love that if we plywood played loud enough
that if we plywood played loud enough
that if we plywood played loud enough and in unison and the and the drums had
and in unison and the and the drums had
and in unison and the and the drums had a big part I could feel it in my body
a big part I could feel it in my body
a big part I could feel it in my body and so when I entered high school I I
and so when I entered high school I I
and so when I entered high school I I took all the required classes but I
took all the required classes but I
took all the required classes but I continued Spanish and banned long after
continued Spanish and banned long after
continued Spanish and banned long after I was required to take them so when it
I was required to take them so when it
I was required to take them so when it came to Spanish when I went into high
came to Spanish when I went into high
came to Spanish when I went into high school it was during my through my love
school it was during my through my love
school it was during my through my love of world history and also the existence
of world history and also the existence
of world history and also the existence of Microsoft Encarta see
of Microsoft Encarta see
of Microsoft Encarta see that I learned that I loved other
that I learned that I loved other
that I learned that I loved other foreign languages too and that at night
foreign languages too and that at night
foreign languages too and that at night I could easily teach myself the
I could easily teach myself the
I could easily teach myself the beginnings of other languages like
beginnings of other languages like
beginnings of other languages like numbers and greetings and I found this
numbers and greetings and I found this
numbers and greetings and I found this pretty easily from there my love of
pretty easily from there my love of
pretty easily from there my love of languages has grown I now am fluent in
languages has grown I now am fluent in
languages has grown I now am fluent in Spanish I am proficient in several other
Spanish I am proficient in several other
Spanish I am proficient in several other languages and have successfully dabbled
languages and have successfully dabbled
languages and have successfully dabbled in a dozen more eventually I would
in a dozen more eventually I would
in a dozen more eventually I would realize that probably learning English
realize that probably learning English
realize that probably learning English in a non-native way probably helped me
in a non-native way probably helped me
in a non-native way probably helped me by the end of high school nobody
by the end of high school nobody
by the end of high school nobody believed or even thought that I had a
believed or even thought that I had a
believed or even thought that I had a hearing problem each day in each quarter
hearing problem each day in each quarter
hearing problem each day in each quarter I was coming into my own academically
I was coming into my own academically
I was coming into my own academically artistically and athletically but I was
artistically and athletically but I was
artistically and athletically but I was still pretty much half deaf I so then it
still pretty much half deaf I so then it
still pretty much half deaf I so then it came time after to about approximately
came time after to about approximately
came time after to about approximately two years after my fourth surgery I was
two years after my fourth surgery I was
two years after my fourth surgery I was about 18 years old to test if the tube
about 18 years old to test if the tube
about 18 years old to test if the tube that they put in my ear worked that if
that they put in my ear worked that if
that they put in my ear worked that if my eardrum could handle life and the
my eardrum could handle life and the
my eardrum could handle life and the sound of war of the world on its own
sound of war of the world on its own
sound of war of the world on its own without the pressure equalizing effect
without the pressure equalizing effect
without the pressure equalizing effect that the tube afford in my ear so when
that the tube afford in my ear so when
that the tube afford in my ear so when they took the PE tube out in the office
they took the PE tube out in the office
they took the PE tube out in the office there was this pop and then I was in a
there was this pop and then I was in a
there was this pop and then I was in a vacuum I felt like I had been placed in
vacuum I felt like I had been placed in
vacuum I felt like I had been placed in a portable glass cave where the air was
a portable glass cave where the air was
a portable glass cave where the air was different my mom wanted me to say
different my mom wanted me to say
different my mom wanted me to say something and I would try but as soon as
something and I would try but as soon as
something and I would try but as soon as I would try to push out a sound the
I would try to push out a sound the
I would try to push out a sound the vibrations would resonate through my
vibrations would resonate through my
vibrations would resonate through my head at full volume and I couldn’t bear
head at full volume and I couldn’t bear
head at full volume and I couldn’t bear push out a word my doctor asked me and
push out a word my doctor asked me and
push out a word my doctor asked me and chimed in if it sounded too loud for me
chimed in if it sounded too loud for me
chimed in if it sounded too loud for me to talk and I nodded and responded with
to talk and I nodded and responded with
to talk and I nodded and responded with a mild but affirmative mm-hmm to the
a mild but affirmative mm-hmm to the
a mild but affirmative mm-hmm to the specialist that had been working on me
specialist that had been working on me
specialist that had been working on me since I was a child this was a
since I was a child this was a
since I was a child this was a celebratory moment and there were some
celebratory moment and there were some
celebratory moment and there were some positive aspects to having hearing in my
positive aspects to having hearing in my
positive aspects to having hearing in my left ear it was the first time that I
left ear it was the first time that I
left ear it was the first time that I could hear the difference in notes in
could hear the difference in notes in
could hear the difference in notes in band I had learned to play musical
band I had learned to play musical
band I had learned to play musical instruments by memorizing hand positions
instruments by memorizing hand positions
instruments by memorizing hand positions and finger locations but it wasn’t until
and finger locations but it wasn’t until
and finger locations but it wasn’t until I had bilateral stereo hearing
I had bilateral stereo hearing
I had bilateral stereo hearing that I could tell I had played the wrong
that I could tell I had played the wrong
that I could tell I had played the wrong note simply by its incompatibility with
note simply by its incompatibility with
note simply by its incompatibility with the person next to me I’ve been playing
the person next to me I’ve been playing
the person next to me I’ve been playing an instrument for almost eight years and
an instrument for almost eight years and
an instrument for almost eight years and had never experienced that but largely
had never experienced that but largely
had never experienced that but largely for me my transition into full hearing
for me my transition into full hearing
for me my transition into full hearing was rather painful everything in the
was rather painful everything in the
was rather painful everything in the world was just too noisy and everything
world was just too noisy and everything
world was just too noisy and everything just sounded too loud to me when people
just sounded too loud to me when people
just sounded too loud to me when people would talk to me their voices would
would talk to me their voices would
would talk to me their voices would naturally make their way through
naturally make their way through
naturally make their way through intonation and pitches and it would be
intonation and pitches and it would be
intonation and pitches and it would be painful and irritating I would have to
painful and irritating I would have to
painful and irritating I would have to cover my ear and I would have to
cover my ear and I would have to
cover my ear and I would have to constantly be on guard for abrasive
constantly be on guard for abrasive
constantly be on guard for abrasive sounds that for the most part are not
sounds that for the most part are not
sounds that for the most part are not abrasive to anyone else I also had to
abrasive to anyone else I also had to
abrasive to anyone else I also had to get used to my surroundings like if I
get used to my surroundings like if I
get used to my surroundings like if I went for a jog and I I wouldn’t be able
went for a jog and I I wouldn’t be able
went for a jog and I I wouldn’t be able to tell which direction a car was coming
to tell which direction a car was coming
to tell which direction a car was coming from because it sounded as if it was
from because it sounded as if it was
from because it sounded as if it was coming from every direction I also had a
coming from every direction I also had a
coming from every direction I also had a hard time sleeping at night because I
hard time sleeping at night because I
hard time sleeping at night because I had always slept on my right side and
had always slept on my right side and
had always slept on my right side and this had created a silent bubble but I
this had created a silent bubble but I
this had created a silent bubble but I couldn’t recreate that anymore
couldn’t recreate that anymore
couldn’t recreate that anymore my bubble was burst and it was polluted
my bubble was burst and it was polluted
my bubble was burst and it was polluted but noise and I could no longer step
but noise and I could no longer step
but noise and I could no longer step outside of the noisy world simply by
outside of the noisy world simply by
outside of the noisy world simply by lying on my right side
lying on my right side
lying on my right side so for me I wouldn’t necessarily say
so for me I wouldn’t necessarily say
so for me I wouldn’t necessarily say that I was or am happier with full
that I was or am happier with full
that I was or am happier with full hearing in fact I often appreciate the
hearing in fact I often appreciate the
hearing in fact I often appreciate the other sensations of life a bit more like
other sensations of life a bit more like
other sensations of life a bit more like with music I like the way it looks and
with music I like the way it looks and
with music I like the way it looks and feels I like the way when you pluck a
feels I like the way when you pluck a
feels I like the way when you pluck a guitar string it vibrates to a stop and
guitar string it vibrates to a stop and
guitar string it vibrates to a stop and I like the way that wooden floorboards
I like the way that wooden floorboards
I like the way that wooden floorboards feel when they carry sound by time I got
feel when they carry sound by time I got
feel when they carry sound by time I got to college nobody knew better nobody
to college nobody knew better nobody
to college nobody knew better nobody knew the deaf or dumb girl and I was but
knew the deaf or dumb girl and I was but
knew the deaf or dumb girl and I was but my my relationship with my deafness and
my my relationship with my deafness and
my my relationship with my deafness and my relationship with just having gotten
my relationship with just having gotten
my relationship with just having gotten my full hearing was there not in the
my full hearing was there not in the
my full hearing was there not in the distant past it was very much still part
distant past it was very much still part
distant past it was very much still part of me and still is I was fortunate that
of me and still is I was fortunate that
of me and still is I was fortunate that at the Kerr College my path between my
at the Kerr College my path between my
at the Kerr College my path between my classroom and my dorm room led me
classroom and my dorm room led me
classroom and my dorm room led me through the phenomenal music school I
through the phenomenal music school I
through the phenomenal music school I would often go in and sit alongside or
would often go in and sit alongside or
would often go in and sit alongside or like find a spot alongside
like find a spot alongside
like find a spot alongside of the stage during rehearsals and be as
of the stage during rehearsals and be as
of the stage during rehearsals and be as private and tucked away as possible and
private and tucked away as possible and
private and tucked away as possible and just lay on the floor letting the music
just lay on the floor letting the music
just lay on the floor letting the music soak into my body I love the way that
soak into my body I love the way that
soak into my body I love the way that felt today my deaf beginnings are almost
felt today my deaf beginnings are almost
felt today my deaf beginnings are almost undetectable that is unless you play
undetectable that is unless you play
undetectable that is unless you play apples to apples with me and I read the
apples to apples with me and I read the
apples to apples with me and I read the card and named Michelle Pfeiffer as
card and named Michelle Pfeiffer as
card and named Michelle Pfeiffer as Michael puffy fur or if we’re watching
Michael puffy fur or if we’re watching
Michael puffy fur or if we’re watching TV and I can’t go more than two minutes
TV and I can’t go more than two minutes
TV and I can’t go more than two minutes without begging for subtitles
without begging for subtitles
without begging for subtitles I will also have ringing in my ears
I will also have ringing in my ears
I will also have ringing in my ears known as tinnitus I will always have
known as tinnitus I will always have
known as tinnitus I will always have that and I will always struggle to read
that and I will always struggle to read
that and I will always struggle to read or to know what you’re saying or hear
or to know what you’re saying or hear
or to know what you’re saying or hear you or understand you if I can’t see
you or understand you if I can’t see
you or understand you if I can’t see your face or read your lips
your face or read your lips
your face or read your lips I only learn this after spending years
I only learn this after spending years
I only learn this after spending years working in the operating room as an
working in the operating room as an
working in the operating room as an adult and in this setting people often
adult and in this setting people often
adult and in this setting people often say to me why are you standing so close
say to me why are you standing so close
say to me why are you standing so close to me often I’d be leaning in with my
to me often I’d be leaning in with my
to me often I’d be leaning in with my good ear now my relationship with
good ear now my relationship with
good ear now my relationship with deafness has sort of a bittersweet story
deafness has sort of a bittersweet story
deafness has sort of a bittersweet story but I’ve learned to appreciate how these
but I’ve learned to appreciate how these
but I’ve learned to appreciate how these beginnings and breaking certain barriers
beginnings and breaking certain barriers
beginnings and breaking certain barriers of adversity have positively shaped me
of adversity have positively shaped me
of adversity have positively shaped me today I want to end on a note where I
today I want to end on a note where I
today I want to end on a note where I stress that my life did not improve just
stress that my life did not improve just
stress that my life did not improve just because I gained hearing my life and
because I gained hearing my life and
because I gained hearing my life and crew because I was given access to a
crew because I was given access to a
crew because I was given access to a language I was at the mercy of a medical
language I was at the mercy of a medical
language I was at the mercy of a medical community in a culture that wanted to
community in a culture that wanted to
community in a culture that wanted to fix me in my particular situation my
fix me in my particular situation my
fix me in my particular situation my condition was for the most part fixable
condition was for the most part fixable
condition was for the most part fixable but had the first surgery not worked and
but had the first surgery not worked and
but had the first surgery not worked and I wasn’t able to gain hearing and learn
I wasn’t able to gain hearing and learn
I wasn’t able to gain hearing and learn a spoken language I would have learned
a spoken language I would have learned
a spoken language I would have learned sign language or ASL and I would have
sign language or ASL and I would have
sign language or ASL and I would have had an equal opportunity to engage and
had an equal opportunity to engage and
had an equal opportunity to engage and experience a full life in my particular
experience a full life in my particular
experience a full life in my particular situation my deafness did not lead to a
situation my deafness did not lead to a
situation my deafness did not lead to a relationship with the deaf community and
relationship with the deaf community and
relationship with the deaf community and that was
that was
that was immediately after diagnosis I was
immediately after diagnosis I was
immediately after diagnosis I was treated and what surgically and treated
treated and what surgically and treated
treated and what surgically and treated as a hearing person this was probably
as a hearing person this was probably
as a hearing person this was probably the biggest disservice to me as a
the biggest disservice to me as a
the biggest disservice to me as a patient my deafness was never
patient my deafness was never
patient my deafness was never acknowledged and I had a very hard time
acknowledged and I had a very hard time
acknowledged and I had a very hard time kind of making my way through the world
kind of making my way through the world
kind of making my way through the world in which I was treated as a hearing
in which I was treated as a hearing
in which I was treated as a hearing person it never taught techniques about
person it never taught techniques about
person it never taught techniques about volume control by knowing the vibrations
volume control by knowing the vibrations
volume control by knowing the vibrations of my neck or even just acknowledged as
of my neck or even just acknowledged as
of my neck or even just acknowledged as a knowledge that I would see the world
a knowledge that I would see the world
a knowledge that I would see the world differently
differently
differently so as someone who has gone through the
so as someone who has gone through the
so as someone who has gone through the spectrum of hearing abilities I wanted
spectrum of hearing abilities I wanted
spectrum of hearing abilities I wanted to stress that even as a hearing person
to stress that even as a hearing person
to stress that even as a hearing person an adult today as we age many of us will
an adult today as we age many of us will
an adult today as we age many of us will lose our hearing my deaf beginnings and
lose our hearing my deaf beginnings and
lose our hearing my deaf beginnings and my attention to an attempt to engage
my attention to an attempt to engage
my attention to an attempt to engage with the ASL community in the deaf
with the ASL community in the deaf
with the ASL community in the deaf community now will serve me well in that
community now will serve me well in that
community now will serve me well in that capacity and I want to encourage all of
capacity and I want to encourage all of
capacity and I want to encourage all of you to kind of challenge hearing centric
you to kind of challenge hearing centric
you to kind of challenge hearing centric tendencies in our culture and to foster
tendencies in our culture and to foster
tendencies in our culture and to foster participation and involvement includes
participation and involvement includes
participation and involvement includes and inclusivity of people with different
and inclusivity of people with different
and inclusivity of people with different abilities not just with a hearing loss
abilities not just with a hearing loss
abilities not just with a hearing loss but also with diverse abilities and
but also with diverse abilities and
but also with diverse abilities and disabilities that affect our sensations
disabilities that affect our sensations
disabilities that affect our sensations mental health and also mobility thank
mental health and also mobility thank
mental health and also mobility thank you
you
you [Applause]
”
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