Body Positivity or Body Obsession? Learning to See More & Be More | Lindsay Kite

as a competitive swimmer starting an

as a competitive swimmer starting an early elementary school my perception of

early elementary school my perception of

early elementary school my perception of my body or my body image was shaped by

my body or my body image was shaped by

my body or my body image was shaped by my physical abilities and experiences my

my physical abilities and experiences my

my physical abilities and experiences my high school that had changed at age 15

high school that had changed at age 15

high school that had changed at age 15 after years of swim meets and daily

after years of swim meets and daily

after years of swim meets and daily practices doing something I loved and

practices doing something I loved and

practices doing something I loved and was good at I quit I didn’t quit because

was good at I quit I didn’t quit because

was good at I quit I didn’t quit because I hated swimming I quit because I hated

I hated swimming I quit because I hated

I hated swimming I quit because I hated the way I looked in my swimsuit so for

the way I looked in my swimsuit so for

the way I looked in my swimsuit so for years I hid myself and I tried

years I hid myself and I tried

years I hid myself and I tried relentlessly to fix myself but despite

relentlessly to fix myself but despite

relentlessly to fix myself but despite all my best efforts I never felt truly

all my best efforts I never felt truly

all my best efforts I never felt truly swimsuit worthy what I didn’t realize at

swimsuit worthy what I didn’t realize at

swimsuit worthy what I didn’t realize at the time is that my body was never the

the time is that my body was never the

the time is that my body was never the problem the problem was my body image so

problem the problem was my body image so

problem the problem was my body image so when I sat in a classroom my freshman

when I sat in a classroom my freshman

when I sat in a classroom my freshman year of college and learned for the

year of college and learned for the

year of college and learned for the first time about the ways women’s bodies

first time about the ways women’s bodies

first time about the ways women’s bodies are objectified and distorted in media

are objectified and distorted in media

are objectified and distorted in media it shook me and it woke me up to a lot

it shook me and it woke me up to a lot

it shook me and it woke me up to a lot of the ways I had suffered and held

of the ways I had suffered and held

of the ways I had suffered and held myself back because my self-worth and my

myself back because my self-worth and my

myself back because my self-worth and my body image were completely defined by my

body image were completely defined by my

body image were completely defined by my appearance an appearance that never did

appearance an appearance that never did

appearance an appearance that never did and never quite could live up to those

and never quite could live up to those

and never quite could live up to those cultural ideals understanding this

cultural ideals understanding this

cultural ideals understanding this problem of negative body image and how

problem of negative body image and how

problem of negative body image and how to fix it became my academic and

to fix it became my academic and

to fix it became my academic and personal passion and I guess I shouldn’t

personal passion and I guess I shouldn’t

personal passion and I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when my college

have been surprised when my college

have been surprised when my college roommate discovered that same passion

roommate discovered that same passion

roommate discovered that same passion because we not only shared a tiny dorm

because we not only shared a tiny dorm

because we not only shared a tiny dorm room we also shared all of our DNA my

room we also shared all of our DNA my

room we also shared all of our DNA my twin sister Lexi and I have been working

twin sister Lexi and I have been working

twin sister Lexi and I have been working together to promote positive body image

together to promote positive body image

together to promote positive body image since 2009 when we started our PhDs and

since 2009 when we started our PhDs and

since 2009 when we started our PhDs and founded the nonprofit Beauty redefined

founded the nonprofit Beauty redefined

founded the nonprofit Beauty redefined our approach to body image is a bit

our approach to body image is a bit

our approach to body image is a bit different than most because we are

different than most because we are

different than most because we are working to redefine not just the look of

working to redefine not just the look of

working to redefine not just the look of beauty but its meaning and value in our

beauty but its meaning and value in our

beauty but its meaning and value in our lives over the last 15 years or so

lives over the last 15 years or so

lives over the last 15 years or so lots of well-meaning people and

lots of well-meaning people and

lots of well-meaning people and companies have worked to improve women’s

companies have worked to improve women’s

companies have worked to improve women’s body image by pushing the message that

body image by pushing the message that

body image by pushing the message that all women are beautiful

all women are beautiful

all women are beautiful flaws in all

flaws in all

flaws in all this is a really nice message but it

this is a really nice message but it

this is a really nice message but it isn’t fixing the problem

isn’t fixing the problem

isn’t fixing the problem that’s because girls and women aren’t

that’s because girls and women aren’t

that’s because girls and women aren’t only suffering because of the

only suffering because of the

only suffering because of the unattainable ways beauty is being

unattainable ways beauty is being

unattainable ways beauty is being defined they are suffering because they

defined they are suffering because they

defined they are suffering because they are being defined by beauty

are being defined by beauty

are being defined by beauty they are bodies first and people second

they are bodies first and people second

they are bodies first and people second so rather than working to make sure more

so rather than working to make sure more

so rather than working to make sure more women’s bodies are viewed as valuable we

women’s bodies are viewed as valuable we

women’s bodies are viewed as valuable we are focused on making sure women are

are focused on making sure women are

are focused on making sure women are valued as more than bodies to view

our work is founded on the premise the

our work is founded on the premise the positive body image isn’t believing your

positive body image isn’t believing your

positive body image isn’t believing your body looks good it’s knowing your body

body looks good it’s knowing your body

body looks good it’s knowing your body is good regardless of how it looks we

is good regardless of how it looks we

is good regardless of how it looks we have to be able to see more in ourselves

have to be able to see more in ourselves

have to be able to see more in ourselves and everyone else only then can we move

and everyone else only then can we move

and everyone else only then can we move on and be able to be more more than

on and be able to be more more than

on and be able to be more more than objects more than beautiful more than a

objects more than beautiful more than a

objects more than beautiful more than a body we can start this process by

body we can start this process by

body we can start this process by learning to see the invisible shame that

learning to see the invisible shame that

learning to see the invisible shame that is a normal part of most of our lives

is a normal part of most of our lives

is a normal part of most of our lives and that starts with body fixation

and that starts with body fixation

and that starts with body fixation whether you feel like a perfect 10 or a

whether you feel like a perfect 10 or a

whether you feel like a perfect 10 or a troll if you’re constantly thinking

troll if you’re constantly thinking

troll if you’re constantly thinking about your appearance you’re falling

about your appearance you’re falling

about your appearance you’re falling into this trap called self

into this trap called self

into this trap called self objectification even if you’ve never

objectification even if you’ve never

objectification even if you’ve never heard of this concept before it’s going

heard of this concept before it’s going

heard of this concept before it’s going to sound completely familiar to most

to sound completely familiar to most

to sound completely familiar to most girls and women and increasingly more

girls and women and increasingly more

girls and women and increasingly more boys and men it feels like a mental task

boys and men it feels like a mental task

boys and men it feels like a mental task list that Badgers you as you move

list that Badgers you as you move

list that Badgers you as you move throughout your day if left to its own

throughout your day if left to its own

throughout your day if left to its own devices mine sounds something like this

devices mine sounds something like this

devices mine sounds something like this okay adjust your shirt

okay adjust your shirt

okay adjust your shirt adjust your skirt oh I see those people

adjust your skirt oh I see those people

adjust your skirt oh I see those people are looking at me so I’m gonna give him

are looking at me so I’m gonna give him

are looking at me so I’m gonna give him my best angles make sure I suck it in Oh

my best angles make sure I suck it in Oh

my best angles make sure I suck it in Oh chin up I feel that double chin creeping

chin up I feel that double chin creeping

chin up I feel that double chin creeping in now I have to readjust my shirt

in now I have to readjust my shirt

in now I have to readjust my shirt readjust my skirt and continue this

readjust my skirt and continue this

readjust my skirt and continue this process until you die

self-objectification is the process of

self-objectification is the process of monitoring your body from an outsider’s

monitoring your body from an outsider’s

monitoring your body from an outsider’s perspective picturing what you look like

perspective picturing what you look like

perspective picturing what you look like all day even when no one is looking at

all day even when no one is looking at

all day even when no one is looking at you studies show if girls and women are

you studies show if girls and women are

you studies show if girls and women are in a state of self objectification they

in a state of self objectification they

in a state of self objectification they perform worse on math and reading

perform worse on math and reading

perform worse on math and reading comprehension tests they can’t throw a

comprehension tests they can’t throw a

comprehension tests they can’t throw a softball as hard or run as far or lift

softball as hard or run as far or lift

softball as hard or run as far or lift as heavy of weights as they can when

as heavy of weights as they can when

as heavy of weights as they can when they are not self-conscious of their

they are not self-conscious of their

they are not self-conscious of their bodies if even a small part of your

bodies if even a small part of your

bodies if even a small part of your mental energy is constantly dedicated to

mental energy is constantly dedicated to

mental energy is constantly dedicated to your looks you are at a disadvantage and

your looks you are at a disadvantage and

your looks you are at a disadvantage and this problem of self objectification

this problem of self objectification

this problem of self objectification goes hand-in-hand with negative body

goes hand-in-hand with negative body

goes hand-in-hand with negative body image about 3/4 of the women in our

image about 3/4 of the women in our

image about 3/4 of the women in our dissertation studies felt very

dissertation studies felt very

dissertation studies felt very negatively toward their bodies and

negatively toward their bodies and

negatively toward their bodies and almost all of them were also self

almost all of them were also self

almost all of them were also self objectifying this was especially clear

objectifying this was especially clear

objectifying this was especially clear in the way they answered the first

in the way they answered the first

in the way they answered the first question I asked how do you feel about

question I asked how do you feel about

question I asked how do you feel about your body one woman said I feel like I’m

your body one woman said I feel like I’m

your body one woman said I feel like I’m too fat or not skinny enough for the

too fat or not skinny enough for the

too fat or not skinny enough for the world today I feel like I’m not good

world today I feel like I’m not good

world today I feel like I’m not good enough for my husband because of my body

enough for my husband because of my body

enough for my husband because of my body another woman said it’s never looked how

another woman said it’s never looked how

another woman said it’s never looked how I wanted it to there are cellulite scars

I wanted it to there are cellulite scars

I wanted it to there are cellulite scars veins things I try hard to keep hidden

veins things I try hard to keep hidden

veins things I try hard to keep hidden as you can hear these women are

as you can hear these women are

as you can hear these women are describing their feelings about their

describing their feelings about their

describing their feelings about their own bodies as if they are outside

own bodies as if they are outside

own bodies as if they are outside viewers looking at themselves it is

viewers looking at themselves it is

viewers looking at themselves it is incredibly difficult to feel good about

incredibly difficult to feel good about

incredibly difficult to feel good about your body if you were judging it solely

your body if you were judging it solely

your body if you were judging it solely based on appearance especially over time

based on appearance especially over time

based on appearance especially over time and especially considering these

and especially considering these

and especially considering these unattainable ideals we’re up against but

unattainable ideals we’re up against but

unattainable ideals we’re up against but some women do feel good about their

some women do feel good about their

some women do feel good about their bodies and we need to figure out how

bodies and we need to figure out how

bodies and we need to figure out how even when you feel positively towards

even when you feel positively towards

even when you feel positively towards your body if you are thinking about it

your body if you are thinking about it

your body if you are thinking about it in terms of appearance that’s likely to

in terms of appearance that’s likely to

in terms of appearance that’s likely to change over time so we need to

change over time so we need to

change over time so we need to understand how we can move on and not

understand how we can move on and not

understand how we can move on and not only redefine beauty for ourselves in

only redefine beauty for ourselves in

only redefine beauty for ourselves in ways that are better for our health but

ways that are better for our health but

ways that are better for our health but redefine health for ourselves in ways

redefine health for ourselves in ways

redefine health for ourselves in ways that have nothing to do with beauty too

that have nothing to do with beauty too

that have nothing to do with beauty too many of us are judging our own fitness

many of us are judging our own fitness

many of us are judging our own fitness in ways that have a lot to do with how

in ways that have a lot to do with how

in ways that have a lot to do with how we look and very little to do with our

we look and very little to do with our

we look and very little to do with our actual health but studies show a

actual health but studies show a

actual health but studies show a person’s level of physical activity is

person’s level of physical activity is

person’s level of physical activity is actually a much better indicator of

actually a much better indicator of

actually a much better indicator of their health and fitness than their body

their health and fitness than their body

their health and fitness than their body mass index their weight their size and

mass index their weight their size and

mass index their weight their size and any other external measurement if we

any other external measurement if we

any other external measurement if we really understood this health and

really understood this health and

really understood this health and fitness could become something so much

fitness could become something so much

fitness could become something so much more achievable and even empowering we

more achievable and even empowering we

more achievable and even empowering we would be able to focus on how we feel

would be able to focus on how we feel

would be able to focus on how we feel what our bodies can do and our internal

what our bodies can do and our internal

what our bodies can do and our internal vitals and health rather than getting so

vitals and health rather than getting so

vitals and health rather than getting so hung up on whether we have six-pack abs

hung up on whether we have six-pack abs

hung up on whether we have six-pack abs or can fit into those old jeans in the

or can fit into those old jeans in the

or can fit into those old jeans in the back of our closets we don’t care about

back of our closets we don’t care about

back of our closets we don’t care about this is definitely a huge paradigm shift

this is definitely a huge paradigm shift

this is definitely a huge paradigm shift for most people but I like to simplify

for most people but I like to simplify

for most people but I like to simplify it and summarize it using my favorite

it and summarize it using my favorite

it and summarize it using my favorite beauty redefined mantra my body is an

beauty redefined mantra my body is an

beauty redefined mantra my body is an instrument not an ornament but like

once we can see more in ourselves than

once we can see more in ourselves than ornaments to be looked at we can move on

ornaments to be looked at we can move on

ornaments to be looked at we can move on to being more in our body obsessed

to being more in our body obsessed

to being more in our body obsessed culture this is hard but some women do

culture this is hard but some women do

culture this is hard but some women do feel good about their bodies regardless

feel good about their bodies regardless

feel good about their bodies regardless of how they look so again how is this

of how they look so again how is this

of how they look so again how is this possible our work at beauty redefined is

possible our work at beauty redefined is

possible our work at beauty redefined is based on what we found by asking that

based on what we found by asking that

based on what we found by asking that question when we looked at the women who

question when we looked at the women who

question when we looked at the women who felt good about their bodies we found

felt good about their bodies we found

felt good about their bodies we found they often had one thing in common they

they often had one thing in common they

they often had one thing in common they also described very painful experiences

also described very painful experiences

also described very painful experiences that had either created or magnified

that had either created or magnified

that had either created or magnified their body shame at some point this

their body shame at some point this

their body shame at some point this pointed us to a hopeful process and a

pointed us to a hopeful process and a

pointed us to a hopeful process and a theoretical model called body image

theoretical model called body image

theoretical model called body image resilience through this process some

resilience through this process some

resilience through this process some women grow stronger and love their

women grow stronger and love their

women grow stronger and love their bodies more not just in spite of the

bodies more not just in spite of the

bodies more not just in spite of the pain they experience but because of what

pain they experience but because of what

pain they experience but because of what they learn through that pain this is

they learn through that pain this is

they learn through that pain this is possible because those painful

possible because those painful

possible because those painful experiences can work as disruptions to

experiences can work as disruptions to

experiences can work as disruptions to our body image pushing us out of our

our body image pushing us out of our

our body image pushing us out of our comfort zones that might be filled with

comfort zones that might be filled with

comfort zones that might be filled with self objectification and shame I say

self objectification and shame I say

self objectification and shame I say comfort zone because those things are

comfort zone because those things are

comfort zone because those things are normal for too many of us but they are

normal for too many of us but they are

normal for too many of us but they are anything but comfortable a body image

anything but comfortable a body image

anything but comfortable a body image disruption changes that because it

disruption changes that because it

disruption changes that because it changes the way you perceive and relate

changes the way you perceive and relate

changes the way you perceive and relate to your own body so whether you’re

to your own body so whether you’re

to your own body so whether you’re disruption is being made fun of being

disruption is being made fun of being

disruption is being made fun of being sexually assaulted having a baby or

sexually assaulted having a baby or

sexually assaulted having a baby or putting on a swimsuit we all respond in

putting on a swimsuit we all respond in

putting on a swimsuit we all respond in some way to deal with the shame that

some way to deal with the shame that

some way to deal with the shame that those things stir up our research

those things stir up our research

those things stir up our research identified three possible paths people

identified three possible paths people

identified three possible paths people take in response to a body image

take in response to a body image

take in response to a body image disruption the first path sinks us

disruption the first path sinks us

disruption the first path sinks us deeper into shame through harmful coping

deeper into shame through harmful coping

deeper into shame through harmful coping mechanisms like self-harm disordered

mechanisms like self-harm disordered

mechanisms like self-harm disordered eating and abuse of alcohol or drugs a

eating and abuse of alcohol or drugs a

eating and abuse of alcohol or drugs a 13 year old girl shared her example with

13 year old girl shared her example with

13 year old girl shared her example with me of initially sinking into this first

me of initially sinking into this first

me of initially sinking into this first path she said I used to cut myself well

path she said I used to cut myself well

path she said I used to cut myself well my last time doing that was yesterday

my last time doing that was yesterday

my last time doing that was yesterday but I did it because I was bullied

but I did it because I was bullied

but I did it because I was bullied everyday about my looks I was told that

everyday about my looks I was told that

everyday about my looks I was told that no one would ever like me because of the

no one would ever like me because of the

no one would ever like me because of the way I looked

way I looked

way I looked just like this heartbreaking example if

just like this heartbreaking example if

just like this heartbreaking example if you’re a response to a disruption numbs

you’re a response to a disruption numbs

you’re a response to a disruption numbs you but ultimately leaves you worse off

you but ultimately leaves you worse off

you but ultimately leaves you worse off than before it fits into this first and

than before it fits into this first and

than before it fits into this first and worst response path the second path

worst response path the second path

worst response path the second path keeps us clinging to those uncomfortable

keeps us clinging to those uncomfortable

keeps us clinging to those uncomfortable comfort zones through hiding and fixing

comfort zones through hiding and fixing

comfort zones through hiding and fixing hiding by avoiding events situations and

hiding by avoiding events situations and

hiding by avoiding events situations and activities where you don’t want to be

activities where you don’t want to be

activities where you don’t want to be looked at and fixing by trying to change

looked at and fixing by trying to change

looked at and fixing by trying to change your appearance in some way to cope with

your appearance in some way to cope with

your appearance in some way to cope with shame whether that’s through a liquid

shame whether that’s through a liquid

shame whether that’s through a liquid only detox or liposuction even after I

only detox or liposuction even after I

only detox or liposuction even after I quit swimming and spent years fixing my

quit swimming and spent years fixing my

quit swimming and spent years fixing my supposed flaws or hiding them

supposed flaws or hiding them

supposed flaws or hiding them successfully I still never felt any

successfully I still never felt any

successfully I still never felt any better about my body that’s because this

better about my body that’s because this

better about my body that’s because this second path doesn’t allow you to fight

second path doesn’t allow you to fight

second path doesn’t allow you to fight against body shame it simply helps you

against body shame it simply helps you

against body shame it simply helps you adapt to it by dressing it up or locking

adapt to it by dressing it up or locking

adapt to it by dressing it up or locking it away to deal with later since shame

it away to deal with later since shame

it away to deal with later since shame and body fixation are such normal parts

and body fixation are such normal parts

and body fixation are such normal parts of so many of our comfort zones it’s

of so many of our comfort zones it’s

of so many of our comfort zones it’s likely that we don’t even realize when

likely that we don’t even realize when

likely that we don’t even realize when we are reacting to those issues so

we are reacting to those issues so

we are reacting to those issues so sinking deeper into shame and clinging

sinking deeper into shame and clinging

sinking deeper into shame and clinging to our comfort zones are probably just

to our comfort zones are probably just

to our comfort zones are probably just our defaults and not deliberate choices

our defaults and not deliberate choices

our defaults and not deliberate choices but no matter how many times you have

but no matter how many times you have

but no matter how many times you have found yourself on one of these two paths

found yourself on one of these two paths

found yourself on one of these two paths it is always possible to recognize your

it is always possible to recognize your

it is always possible to recognize your disruptions and respond to them in a

disruptions and respond to them in a

disruptions and respond to them in a better way for some of you listening to

better way for some of you listening to

better way for some of you listening to me speak right now could be a body image

me speak right now could be a body image

me speak right now could be a body image disruption because my words might be

disruption because my words might be

disruption because my words might be shining a light on the shame you’ve

shining a light on the shame you’ve

shining a light on the shame you’ve grown numb to or the self

grown numb to or the self

grown numb to or the self objectification you’ve never lived

objectification you’ve never lived

objectification you’ve never lived without that’s what happened for that

without that’s what happened for that

without that’s what happened for that 13-year old girl I mentioned just a

13-year old girl I mentioned just a

13-year old girl I mentioned just a moment ago in the midst of her long

moment ago in the midst of her long

moment ago in the midst of her long detour on that first path with self-harm

detour on that first path with self-harm

detour on that first path with self-harm she reluctantly attended a beauty

she reluctantly attended a beauty

she reluctantly attended a beauty redefined event where we spoke about how

redefined event where we spoke about how

redefined event where we spoke about how to develop body image resilience and she

to develop body image resilience and she

to develop body image resilience and she wrote to us afterward saying I thought

wrote to us afterward saying I thought

wrote to us afterward saying I thought you would say you guys are all so

you would say you guys are all so

you would say you guys are all so beautiful and then go home but you

beautiful and then go home but you

beautiful and then go home but you helped me see that I’m worth so much

helped me see that I’m worth so much

helped me see that I’m worth so much more than how I look to other people

more than how I look to other people

more than how I look to other people like you guys said I can either use my

like you guys said I can either use my

like you guys said I can either use my experiences to make me or break

experiences to make me or break

experiences to make me or break me and I’m going to use them to make me

me and I’m going to use them to make me

me and I’m going to use them to make me a stronger more compassionate person I

a stronger more compassionate person I

a stronger more compassionate person I am so much more than what is on the

am so much more than what is on the

am so much more than what is on the outside I’m going to work on believing

outside I’m going to work on believing

outside I’m going to work on believing that

and she did get to work on believing

and she did get to work on believing that she started practicing the

that she started practicing the

that she started practicing the strategies we recommended in that event

strategies we recommended in that event

strategies we recommended in that event and she stopped cutting herself she sent

and she stopped cutting herself she sent

and she stopped cutting herself she sent us excited updates at 24 days and then

us excited updates at 24 days and then

us excited updates at 24 days and then 45 days with no self-harm and then

45 days with no self-harm and then

45 days with no self-harm and then months and now years later saying it had

months and now years later saying it had

months and now years later saying it had been very difficult but she was

been very difficult but she was

been very difficult but she was receiving professional help and working

receiving professional help and working

receiving professional help and working to help others with similar pain by

to help others with similar pain by

to help others with similar pain by posting uplifting quotes around her

posting uplifting quotes around her

posting uplifting quotes around her school as soon as she was able to see

school as soon as she was able to see

school as soon as she was able to see the self objectification that had been

the self objectification that had been

the self objectification that had been stinking her deeper into shame she was

stinking her deeper into shame she was

stinking her deeper into shame she was able to see more in herself and then

able to see more in herself and then

able to see more in herself and then fights to be more that day she chose a

fights to be more that day she chose a

fights to be more that day she chose a better path the third path and started

better path the third path and started

better path the third path and started rising with body image resilience it

rising with body image resilience it

rising with body image resilience it took me years of clinging to my own

took me years of clinging to my own

took me years of clinging to my own comfort zone refusing to swim before I

comfort zone refusing to swim before I

comfort zone refusing to swim before I was able to find that better path all

was able to find that better path all

was able to find that better path all through high school and college just

through high school and college just

through high school and college just being invited to go swimming had become

being invited to go swimming had become

being invited to go swimming had become a regular body image disruption in my

a regular body image disruption in my

a regular body image disruption in my life one I always responded to by hiding

life one I always responded to by hiding

life one I always responded to by hiding and fixing so at age 21 when my friends

and fixing so at age 21 when my friends

and fixing so at age 21 when my friends and my boyfriend invited me to go swim

and my boyfriend invited me to go swim

and my boyfriend invited me to go swim at a lake on a perfect summer day I

at a lake on a perfect summer day I

at a lake on a perfect summer day I responded to that little disruption the

responded to that little disruption the

responded to that little disruption the same way I always did without even

same way I always did without even

same way I always did without even thinking about it I automatically fired

thinking about it I automatically fired

thinking about it I automatically fired off all my best excuses to hide while I

off all my best excuses to hide while I

off all my best excuses to hide while I mentally made plans to fix myself so I

mentally made plans to fix myself so I

mentally made plans to fix myself so I could go next time

could go next time

could go next time but that day those standard excuses rang

but that day those standard excuses rang

but that day those standard excuses rang hollow to even me

hollow to even me

hollow to even me they almost felt like self betrayal

they almost felt like self betrayal

they almost felt like self betrayal because I realized that despite what I

because I realized that despite what I

because I realized that despite what I was hearing myself say out loud I really

was hearing myself say out loud I really

was hearing myself say out loud I really did want to go in that moment I caught

did want to go in that moment I caught

did want to go in that moment I caught my first glimpse of the way I had been

my first glimpse of the way I had been

my first glimpse of the way I had been drowning in body shame even as I had

drowning in body shame even as I had

drowning in body shame even as I had avoided the water for years I stood

avoided the water for years I stood

avoided the water for years I stood there in my bathroom alone and I did

there in my bathroom alone and I did

there in my bathroom alone and I did some serious self-reflection and I

some serious self-reflection and I

some serious self-reflection and I decided I was going to face my

decided I was going to face my

decided I was going to face my disruption in a new way head-on I

disruption in a new way head-on I

disruption in a new way head-on I quietly worked up the courage to put on

quietly worked up the courage to put on

quietly worked up the courage to put on a swimsuit and I tried so hard to not

a swimsuit and I tried so hard to not

a swimsuit and I tried so hard to not care that everyone could see me as I

care that everyone could see me as I

care that everyone could see me as I hesitantly waded into that Lake

hesitantly waded into that Lake

hesitantly waded into that Lake but that care that exhausting

but that care that exhausting

but that care that exhausting self-objectification washed away the

self-objectification washed away the

self-objectification washed away the moment I immerse myself in the water as

moment I immerse myself in the water as

moment I immerse myself in the water as I swam my first few strokes in years I

I swam my first few strokes in years I

I swam my first few strokes in years I was overwhelmed with this familiar

was overwhelmed with this familiar

was overwhelmed with this familiar feeling that I was powerful I was

feeling that I was powerful I was

feeling that I was powerful I was capable I was able to see how I had been

capable I was able to see how I had been

capable I was able to see how I had been on this endless loop of trying to fix my

on this endless loop of trying to fix my

on this endless loop of trying to fix my body that never needed to be fixed and

body that never needed to be fixed and

body that never needed to be fixed and in order to do something I never stopped

in order to do something I never stopped

in order to do something I never stopped being able to do I was still a swimmer

being able to do I was still a swimmer

being able to do I was still a swimmer and any fear I had about how I looked

and any fear I had about how I looked

and any fear I had about how I looked that day disappeared because I was

that day disappeared because I was

that day disappeared because I was finally experiencing my body as an

finally experiencing my body as an

finally experiencing my body as an instrument for my youth rather than an

instrument for my youth rather than an

instrument for my youth rather than an ornament to be looked at I had tried for

ornament to be looked at I had tried for

ornament to be looked at I had tried for so long to qualify to swim without shame

so long to qualify to swim without shame

so long to qualify to swim without shame but it was only when I could see my

but it was only when I could see my

but it was only when I could see my shame and choose to swim against it that

shame and choose to swim against it that

shame and choose to swim against it that I was able to find that better path the

I was able to find that better path the

I was able to find that better path the third path to the brave new world of

third path to the brave new world of

third path to the brave new world of body image resilience that path has

body image resilience that path has

body image resilience that path has become my passion and in the ten years

become my passion and in the ten years

become my passion and in the ten years since that experience earning a PhD with

since that experience earning a PhD with

since that experience earning a PhD with my twin sister along the way I’ve worked

my twin sister along the way I’ve worked

my twin sister along the way I’ve worked to help others understand and tap into

to help others understand and tap into

to help others understand and tap into their own power to face body image

their own power to face body image

their own power to face body image disruptions and come out stronger for it

disruptions and come out stronger for it

disruptions and come out stronger for it developing body image resilience is a

developing body image resilience is a

developing body image resilience is a continuous ongoing process but the

continuous ongoing process but the

continuous ongoing process but the crucial first step is what we are

crucial first step is what we are

crucial first step is what we are already doing right now we’re learning

already doing right now we’re learning

already doing right now we’re learning to see more we have to be able to see

to see more we have to be able to see

to see more we have to be able to see more in our media and cultural messages

Body Positivity or Body Obsession? Learning to See More & Be More | Lindsay Kite | TEDxSaltLakeCity

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