oh hey everybody John Hastings here for watchmojo.com and usually I just spout
watchmojo.com and usually I just spout
watchmojo.com and usually I just spout off weird Kersey words of the corners of
off weird Kersey words of the corners of
off weird Kersey words of the corners of my mouth talking about some odd subject
my mouth talking about some odd subject
my mouth talking about some odd subject but today we’re talking about all me
but today we’re talking about all me
but today we’re talking about all me little personal store and a print if you
little personal store and a print if you
little personal store and a print if you will ladies gentlemen is here
will ladies gentlemen is here
will ladies gentlemen is here experienced many things professional
experienced many things professional
experienced many things professional success for the first time I got to see
success for the first time I got to see
success for the first time I got to see a cock fight while in Havana Cuba while
a cock fight while in Havana Cuba while
a cock fight while in Havana Cuba while on acid don’t know if any of that’s true
on acid don’t know if any of that’s true
on acid don’t know if any of that’s true but I also experienced jealousy for the
but I also experienced jealousy for the
but I also experienced jealousy for the first time and it’s an amazing emotion
first time and it’s an amazing emotion
first time and it’s an amazing emotion jealousy it’s like finding a
jealousy it’s like finding a
jealousy it’s like finding a twenty-dollar bill underneath the dog
twenty-dollar bill underneath the dog
twenty-dollar bill underneath the dog turd gooey and disgusting at first but
turd gooey and disgusting at first but
turd gooey and disgusting at first but eventually rewarding because you have
eventually rewarding because you have
eventually rewarding because you have something that rewards yourself here’s
something that rewards yourself here’s
something that rewards yourself here’s what happened I had I had a what they
what happened I had I had a what they
what happened I had I had a what they called lusty crush on a girl I wanted to
called lusty crush on a girl I wanted to
called lusty crush on a girl I wanted to see her Tatas I wanted to hold her nude
see her Tatas I wanted to hold her nude
see her Tatas I wanted to hold her nude and and so I invited into a bar this
and and so I invited into a bar this
and and so I invited into a bar this little trick that guys do is they’ll
little trick that guys do is they’ll
little trick that guys do is they’ll invite a girl to a bar and then invite
invite a girl to a bar and then invite
invite a girl to a bar and then invite everyone they’ve ever met in their life
everyone they’ve ever met in their life
everyone they’ve ever met in their life to that same bar so they can just stand
to that same bar so they can just stand
to that same bar so they can just stand on a sort of going great guy he was a
on a sort of going great guy he was a
on a sort of going great guy he was a great guy yeah it’s a great guy he’s a
great guy yeah it’s a great guy he’s a
great guy yeah it’s a great guy he’s a great guy so i started the plant phase
great guy so i started the plant phase
great guy so i started the plant phase one invite her to the bar get to the bar
one invite her to the bar get to the bar
one invite her to the bar get to the bar a little late fashionably you know pull
a little late fashionably you know pull
a little late fashionably you know pull up leather jacket cravat big deal got my
up leather jacket cravat big deal got my
up leather jacket cravat big deal got my line holstered hey is there a mirror in
line holstered hey is there a mirror in
line holstered hey is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in
your pocket because I can see myself in
your pocket because I can see myself in your pants and then when giggle and kiss
your pants and then when giggle and kiss
your pants and then when giggle and kiss and it would be lovely and I walk in and
and it would be lovely and I walk in and
and it would be lovely and I walk in and there was the love of my next two to
there was the love of my next two to
there was the love of my next two to three minutes standing with her new
three minutes standing with her new
three minutes standing with her new boyfriend and in that moment I was
boyfriend and in that moment I was
boyfriend and in that moment I was filled with rage I wanted to do
filled with rage I wanted to do
filled with rage I wanted to do something I have to respond so i stopped
something I have to respond so i stopped
something I have to respond so i stopped in my tracks face beat red with rage
in my tracks face beat red with rage
in my tracks face beat red with rage it’s not gonna be what you want I gotta
it’s not gonna be what you want I gotta
it’s not gonna be what you want I gotta do so I gotta get this guy gotta do so I
do so I gotta get this guy gotta do so I
do so I gotta get this guy gotta do so I gotta shoot yeah shoot him with a gun
gotta shoot yeah shoot him with a gun
gotta shoot yeah shoot him with a gun and I reach down to get my gun and
and I reach down to get my gun and
and I reach down to get my gun and realized up I don’t own a gun not only
realized up I don’t own a gun not only
realized up I don’t own a gun not only that I don’t know where you purchase
that I don’t know where you purchase
that I don’t know where you purchase said gun do you go to a Canadian Tire
said gun do you go to a Canadian Tire
said gun do you go to a Canadian Tire and is it like ordering something from
and is it like ordering something from
and is it like ordering something from like a starbucks for tinhorns like oh
like a starbucks for tinhorns like oh
like a starbucks for tinhorns like oh yeah give me the Dirty Harry you don’t
yeah give me the Dirty Harry you don’t
yeah give me the Dirty Harry you don’t have that okay give me the John McClane
have that okay give me the John McClane
have that okay give me the John McClane oh you don’t have that all right give me
oh you don’t have that all right give me
oh you don’t have that all right give me the Rambo I don’t have a helicopter but
the Rambo I don’t have a helicopter but
the Rambo I don’t have a helicopter but I’ll find one and and then I took him to
I’ll find one and and then I took him to
I’ll find one and and then I took him to step forward i conned a little bit
step forward i conned a little bit
step forward i conned a little bit message you know I can’t I can’t shoot
message you know I can’t I can’t shoot
message you know I can’t I can’t shoot him in the face I can’t kill but I got
him in the face I can’t kill but I got
him in the face I can’t kill but I got to do something something has to be done
to do something something has to be done
to do something something has to be done he has drawn a lot in the same
he has drawn a lot in the same
he has drawn a lot in the same and I will cross that line with
and I will cross that line with
and I will cross that line with aggression I realized i clenched my fist
aggression I realized i clenched my fist
aggression I realized i clenched my fist nuts in it that’s it I’m gonna punch him
nuts in it that’s it I’m gonna punch him
nuts in it that’s it I’m gonna punch him in his face and we punch him in his
in his face and we punch him in his
in his face and we punch him in his stupid stupid face and I took another
stupid stupid face and I took another
stupid stupid face and I took another step forward and clenched in his youth
step forward and clenched in his youth
step forward and clenched in his youth then I realized hey I’m a modern man
then I realized hey I’m a modern man
then I realized hey I’m a modern man which means inherently I’m a pussy so
which means inherently I’m a pussy so
which means inherently I’m a pussy so I’m probably just going to start
I’m probably just going to start
I’m probably just going to start punching on the face and opened my palm
punching on the face and opened my palm
punching on the face and opened my palm and just rub his cheek oh so smooth
and just rub his cheek oh so smooth
and just rub his cheek oh so smooth that’s ridiculous ridiculous no wonder
that’s ridiculous ridiculous no wonder
that’s ridiculous ridiculous no wonder she’s with you I might say and take
she’s with you I might say and take
she’s with you I might say and take another step forward and then I calm
another step forward and then I calm
another step forward and then I calm down a little bit more and I realized I
down a little bit more and I realized I
down a little bit more and I realized I got to do something now because I’ve
got to do something now because I’ve
got to do something now because I’ve been stepping one step at a time towards
been stepping one step at a time towards
been stepping one step at a time towards a couple who’s staring at me only to
a couple who’s staring at me only to
a couple who’s staring at me only to pause for about 10 s go do a shoot him
pause for about 10 s go do a shoot him
pause for about 10 s go do a shoot him do I just punch him in the face I don’t
do I just punch him in the face I don’t
do I just punch him in the face I don’t know they do I realized I know what I’ll
know they do I realized I know what I’ll
know they do I realized I know what I’ll do I’m passive-aggressive douche here’s
do I’m passive-aggressive douche here’s
do I’m passive-aggressive douche here’s the plan I will give him an awkward
the plan I will give him an awkward
the plan I will give him an awkward handshake that’s what I do I walk up hey
handshake that’s what I do I walk up hey
handshake that’s what I do I walk up hey man I’m John how are you
oh so smooth and then I grabbed her
oh so smooth and then I grabbed her boobies and ran away because you know
boobies and ran away because you know
boobies and ran away because you know what you don’t quit John hey steel with
what you don’t quit John hey steel with
what you don’t quit John hey steel with watchmojo calm so for watchmojo for the
watchmojo calm so for watchmojo for the
watchmojo calm so for watchmojo for the Internet I’m internationally famous
Internet I’m internationally famous
Internet I’m internationally famous comedian John Hastings escalator doesn’t
comedian John Hastings escalator doesn’t
comedian John Hastings escalator doesn’t work oh wait
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