Your Difference is Your Super Power! | Mukami Kinoti Kimotho | TEDxAshburnSalon

I have a question for you at what stage

I have a question for you at what stage in your life did you decide that you

in your life did you decide that you

in your life did you decide that you weren’t enough think about that question

weren’t enough think about that question

weren’t enough think about that question for a moment and I would like to tell

for a moment and I would like to tell

for a moment and I would like to tell you a few stories three in particular

you a few stories three in particular

you a few stories three in particular that navigated me through that journey a

that navigated me through that journey a

that navigated me through that journey a story about a dream a story about a

story about a dream a story about a

story about a dream a story about a death and a story about a child that

death and a story about a child that

death and a story about a child that ultimately led me to recognizing the

ultimately led me to recognizing the

ultimately led me to recognizing the power of authenticity so I would have

power of authenticity so I would have

power of authenticity so I would have this recurring dream I’ll call it a

this recurring dream I’ll call it a

this recurring dream I’ll call it a dream but really what it was what was

dream but really what it was what was

dream but really what it was what was this full body mind spirit experience

this full body mind spirit experience

this full body mind spirit experience that occurred while I was in deep sleep

that occurred while I was in deep sleep

that occurred while I was in deep sleep my mouth was full of stuff and this

my mouth was full of stuff and this

my mouth was full of stuff and this would happen at the most inopportune

would happen at the most inopportune

would happen at the most inopportune moment when a question had been asked

moment when a question had been asked

moment when a question had been asked that I needed to respond to when a

that I needed to respond to when a

that I needed to respond to when a decision had to be made and verbalized

decision had to be made and verbalized

decision had to be made and verbalized that was life or death when someone that

that was life or death when someone that

that was life or death when someone that I admired and looked up to like Michelle

I admired and looked up to like Michelle

I admired and looked up to like Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey and yes I dream

Obama and Oprah Winfrey and yes I dream

Obama and Oprah Winfrey and yes I dream a lot about those two fierce females

a lot about those two fierce females

a lot about those two fierce females asked me a question and I had the answer

asked me a question and I had the answer

asked me a question and I had the answer the perfect answer for them the perfect

the perfect answer for them the perfect

the perfect answer for them the perfect response but for some reason in those

response but for some reason in those

response but for some reason in those moments where a response was required of

moments where a response was required of

moments where a response was required of me my mouth was full and what it felt

me my mouth was full and what it felt

me my mouth was full and what it felt like was that I had I’ll call it sticky

like was that I had I’ll call it sticky

like was that I had I’ll call it sticky chewing gum in my mouth and I would try

chewing gum in my mouth and I would try

chewing gum in my mouth and I would try to pull out this chewing gum from my

to pull out this chewing gum from my

to pull out this chewing gum from my mouth and the more I try to pull it out

mouth and the more I try to pull it out

mouth and the more I try to pull it out the more it filled my mouth I want you

the more it filled my mouth I want you

the more it filled my mouth I want you to picture a clown with one of those

to picture a clown with one of those

to picture a clown with one of those tissue boxes and she’s tugging at the

tissue boxes and she’s tugging at the

tissue boxes and she’s tugging at the tissues and the more she talks the

tissues and the more she talks the

tissues and the more she talks the longer that tissue line of colored

longer that tissue line of colored

longer that tissue line of colored tissues becomes that was me but I wasn’t

tissues becomes that was me but I wasn’t

tissues becomes that was me but I wasn’t smiling I wasn’t laughing

smiling I wasn’t laughing

smiling I wasn’t laughing I was actually embarrassed and

I was actually embarrassed and

I was actually embarrassed and frustrated and oppressed even in my body

frustrated and oppressed even in my body

frustrated and oppressed even in my body in my mind and my spirit because

in my mind and my spirit because

in my mind and my spirit because instinctively every single time I woke

instinctively every single time I woke

instinctively every single time I woke up from that dream from that experienced

up from that dream from that experienced

up from that dream from that experienced I knew in my gut and in my spirit that

I knew in my gut and in my spirit that

I knew in my gut and in my spirit that had been hindered from being verbalized

had been hindered from being verbalized

had been hindered from being verbalized was important but it had life-changing

was important but it had life-changing

was important but it had life-changing power but it had influential abilities

power but it had influential abilities

power but it had influential abilities that it had the ability to impact and so

that it had the ability to impact and so

that it had the ability to impact and so I had failed can you imagine going

I had failed can you imagine going

I had failed can you imagine going through this experience over and over

through this experience over and over

through this experience over and over again not days not months not years I’m

again not days not months not years I’m

again not days not months not years I’m embarrassed to say how long this dream

embarrassed to say how long this dream

embarrassed to say how long this dream experience occurred a long long time

experience occurred a long long time

experience occurred a long long time what’s interesting is when it stopped I

what’s interesting is when it stopped I

what’s interesting is when it stopped I am sitting on a plane on a runway Denver

am sitting on a plane on a runway Denver

am sitting on a plane on a runway Denver Colorado International Airport

Colorado International Airport

Colorado International Airport my brother’s ashes in an urn on my lap

my brother’s ashes in an urn on my lap

my brother’s ashes in an urn on my lap he passed away rather suddenly barely 30

he passed away rather suddenly barely 30

he passed away rather suddenly barely 30 years old and I have another out-of-body

years old and I have another out-of-body

years old and I have another out-of-body experience a conversation between myself

experience a conversation between myself

experience a conversation between myself and the spirit of my brother as if time

and the spirit of my brother as if time

and the spirit of my brother as if time Stood Still and I’m in this interaction

Stood Still and I’m in this interaction

Stood Still and I’m in this interaction in my body and I asked myself a question

in my body and I asked myself a question

in my body and I asked myself a question so if this was you in the urn would you

so if this was you in the urn would you

so if this was you in the urn would you be pleased with what you had achieved

be pleased with what you had achieved

be pleased with what you had achieved with your life would you have leveraged

with your life would you have leveraged

with your life would you have leveraged every opportunity you had up until that

every opportunity you had up until that

every opportunity you had up until that moment to do the thing that you were

moment to do the thing that you were

moment to do the thing that you were created to do to give in the ways that

created to do to give in the ways that

created to do to give in the ways that only you could give to add value in the

only you could give to add value in the

only you could give to add value in the ways that only you could add value

ways that only you could add value

ways that only you could add value because apparently life happens and

because apparently life happens and

because apparently life happens and death happens and you can’t see it

death happens and you can’t see it

death happens and you can’t see it coming the answer was a resounding no

coming the answer was a resounding no

coming the answer was a resounding no and it wasn’t because I didn’t love the

and it wasn’t because I didn’t love the

and it wasn’t because I didn’t love the work that I was doing I had actually

work that I was doing I had actually

work that I was doing I had actually grown up in the performing arts world my

grown up in the performing arts world my

grown up in the performing arts world my love for media and the arts was

love for media and the arts was

love for media and the arts was introduced to me at seven years old I

introduced to me at seven years old I

introduced to me at seven years old I was playing Mary Mother of Jesus rocking

was playing Mary Mother of Jesus rocking

was playing Mary Mother of Jesus rocking baby Jesus while the Shepherd’s watched

baby Jesus while the Shepherd’s watched

baby Jesus while the Shepherd’s watched on live television at seven in my home

on live television at seven in my home

on live television at seven in my home country Kenya

country Kenya

country Kenya at 15 in high school I was writing

at 15 in high school I was writing

at 15 in high school I was writing performing in and directing

performing in and directing

performing in and directing award-winning theatrical performances by

award-winning theatrical performances by

award-winning theatrical performances by 21 I was a presentational speaker and

21 I was a presentational speaker and

21 I was a presentational speaker and anchor at a television network it was

anchor at a television network it was

anchor at a television network it was clear to those that knew me and were

clear to those that knew me and were

clear to those that knew me and were around me that I was meant to be on some

around me that I was meant to be on some

around me that I was meant to be on some sort of platform using my voice to

sort of platform using my voice to

sort of platform using my voice to influence mindsets and to impact lives

influence mindsets and to impact lives

influence mindsets and to impact lives something happened though along the way

something happened though along the way

something happened though along the way at that point in my life

at that point in my life

at that point in my life that caused me to veer off track and

that caused me to veer off track and

that caused me to veer off track and head in a very different direction

head in a very different direction

head in a very different direction perhaps it was the decision that I made

perhaps it was the decision that I made

perhaps it was the decision that I made to go to graduate school in something

to go to graduate school in something

to go to graduate school in something and study something that was totally

and study something that was totally

and study something that was totally different than perhaps what I would have

different than perhaps what I would have

different than perhaps what I would have decided to study

decided to study

decided to study had I known what I know now about the

had I known what I know now about the

had I known what I know now about the reason why I am here suffice it to say I

reason why I am here suffice it to say I

reason why I am here suffice it to say I ended up working in international

ended up working in international

ended up working in international development and then in corporate

development and then in corporate

development and then in corporate America doing a lot of meaningful things

America doing a lot of meaningful things

America doing a lot of meaningful things but not necessarily the things that lit

but not necessarily the things that lit

but not necessarily the things that lit me up that I was truly passionate about

me up that I was truly passionate about

me up that I was truly passionate about the reasons why I was here and so in

the reasons why I was here and so in

the reasons why I was here and so in that moment as I’m having this

that moment as I’m having this

that moment as I’m having this interaction this conversation with my

interaction this conversation with my

interaction this conversation with my brother who has passed away and myself I

brother who has passed away and myself I

brother who has passed away and myself I realized that perhaps fear had something

realized that perhaps fear had something

realized that perhaps fear had something to do with it fear of being

to do with it fear of being

to do with it fear of being misunderstood fear of being judged fear

misunderstood fear of being judged fear

misunderstood fear of being judged fear of not necessarily fulfilling my utmost

of not necessarily fulfilling my utmost

of not necessarily fulfilling my utmost potential that had driven some of the

potential that had driven some of the

potential that had driven some of the decisions that I had made and in that

decisions that I had made and in that

decisions that I had made and in that moment I made a decision that going

moment I made a decision that going

moment I made a decision that going forward every single thing that I did

forward every single thing that I did

forward every single thing that I did would be motivated and driven by passion

would be motivated and driven by passion

would be motivated and driven by passion and purpose I didn’t know what that was

and purpose I didn’t know what that was

and purpose I didn’t know what that was going to look like but I did know that I

going to look like but I did know that I

going to look like but I did know that I needed to make a very big change as it

needed to make a very big change as it

needed to make a very big change as it related to the everyday work that I did

related to the everyday work that I did

related to the everyday work that I did I quit my high flying corporate job and

I quit my high flying corporate job and

I quit my high flying corporate job and ventured to pursue something

ventured to pursue something

ventured to pursue something entrepreneurial and something that was

entrepreneurial and something that was

entrepreneurial and something that was truly anchored in my innate talents and

truly anchored in my innate talents and

truly anchored in my innate talents and gifts and then I became a mom and it’s

gifts and then I became a mom and it’s

gifts and then I became a mom and it’s quite interesting how children will

quite interesting how children will

quite interesting how children will quite literally

quite literally

quite literally shift your view of the world and of

shift your view of the world and of

shift your view of the world and of yourself and what truly matters

yourself and what truly matters

yourself and what truly matters my daughter was barely four years old

my daughter was barely four years old

my daughter was barely four years old when she went through the identity

when she went through the identity

when she went through the identity crisis what used to be fun times relaxed

crisis what used to be fun times relaxed

crisis what used to be fun times relaxed times of getting ready for school and

times of getting ready for school and

times of getting ready for school and preparing for social interactions with

preparing for social interactions with

preparing for social interactions with little friends at playschool McCann

little friends at playschool McCann

little friends at playschool McCann became experiences of Tears and a

became experiences of Tears and a

became experiences of Tears and a struggle that just didn’t make any sense

struggle that just didn’t make any sense

struggle that just didn’t make any sense to me till Zara my daughter says to me

to me till Zara my daughter says to me

to me till Zara my daughter says to me Mommy

Mommy

Mommy why don’t you do my hair like this and

why don’t you do my hair like this and

why don’t you do my hair like this and she makes this really interesting motion

she makes this really interesting motion

she makes this really interesting motion that didn’t make any sense to me till we

that didn’t make any sense to me till we

that didn’t make any sense to me till we navigated discussion and ultimately I

navigated discussion and ultimately I

navigated discussion and ultimately I realized that my child was struggling

realized that my child was struggling

realized that my child was struggling with her self-image she didn’t like her

with her self-image she didn’t like her

with her self-image she didn’t like her nappy hair her kinky curly locks they

nappy hair her kinky curly locks they

nappy hair her kinky curly locks they represented not beautiful in her mind’s

represented not beautiful in her mind’s

represented not beautiful in her mind’s eye this is a four barely four year old

eye this is a four barely four year old

eye this is a four barely four year old girl that was questioning her beauty and

girl that was questioning her beauty and

girl that was questioning her beauty and her self-worth based on how she felt she

her self-worth based on how she felt she

her self-worth based on how she felt she compared to her little friends that were

compared to her little friends that were

compared to her little friends that were different from her I ultimately ended up

different from her I ultimately ended up

different from her I ultimately ended up having conversations with other women

having conversations with other women

having conversations with other women who like me had daughters about Zara’s

who like me had daughters about Zara’s

who like me had daughters about Zara’s age and discovered that many of them had

age and discovered that many of them had

age and discovered that many of them had had similar conversations if it wasn’t

had similar conversations if it wasn’t

had similar conversations if it wasn’t about the hair it was about the size of

about the hair it was about the size of

about the hair it was about the size of her hips if it wasn’t that it was about

her hips if it wasn’t that it was about

her hips if it wasn’t that it was about just different aspects of a girl’s

just different aspects of a girl’s

just different aspects of a girl’s physicality that influenced how she felt

physicality that influenced how she felt

physicality that influenced how she felt about the place that she had in in the

about the place that she had in in the

about the place that she had in in the world and how she compared to her

world and how she compared to her

world and how she compared to her friends and those peers and influencers

friends and those peers and influencers

friends and those peers and influencers in her life I ultimately took to social

in her life I ultimately took to social

in her life I ultimately took to social media because I wanted to understand if

media because I wanted to understand if

media because I wanted to understand if this was an issue that was bigger than

this was an issue that was bigger than

this was an issue that was bigger than just Zara and I on our neighbours and my

just Zara and I on our neighbours and my

just Zara and I on our neighbours and my little network of friends and I was

little network of friends and I was

little network of friends and I was blown away by what I heard from more

blown away by what I heard from more

blown away by what I heard from more than four hundred almost 400 women

than four hundred almost 400 women

than four hundred almost 400 women situated all over the world different

situated all over the world different

situated all over the world different backgrounds different walks of life

backgrounds different walks of life

backgrounds different walks of life different socializations the one

different socializations the one

different socializations the one similarity being that they had a girl

similarity being that they had a girl

similarity being that they had a girl child in their life that was aged

child in their life that was aged

child in their life that was aged between 3 and 12 the stories that they

between 3 and 12 the stories that they

between 3 and 12 the stories that they share

share

share were heart-wrenching things like I can’t

were heart-wrenching things like I can’t

were heart-wrenching things like I can’t remember the last time she ate a full

remember the last time she ate a full

remember the last time she ate a full meal

meal

meal she’s been starving herself I worry that

she’s been starving herself I worry that

she’s been starving herself I worry that she does not dream big enough for

she does not dream big enough for

she does not dream big enough for herself she stuck on a specific

herself she stuck on a specific

herself she stuck on a specific perspective on of who she is and what is

perspective on of who she is and what is

perspective on of who she is and what is possible for her I’m really concerned

possible for her I’m really concerned

possible for her I’m really concerned that she’ll try and hurt herself again

because she doesn’t fit in can you

because she doesn’t fit in can you imagine that no mother should have to

imagine that no mother should have to

imagine that no mother should have to suffer the loss of a child to suicide as

suffer the loss of a child to suicide as

suffer the loss of a child to suicide as a result of them not fitting in and so

a result of them not fitting in and so

a result of them not fitting in and so it became quite apparent to me that this

it became quite apparent to me that this

it became quite apparent to me that this was a much bigger issue and as I spoke

was a much bigger issue and as I spoke

was a much bigger issue and as I spoke to the women themselves grown women

to the women themselves grown women

to the women themselves grown women mature experienced educated women about

mature experienced educated women about

mature experienced educated women about what kept them up at night when they

what kept them up at night when they

what kept them up at night when they thought about themselves I realized some

thought about themselves I realized some

thought about themselves I realized some of the issues I was struggling with as

of the issues I was struggling with as

of the issues I was struggling with as an individual they were struggling with

an individual they were struggling with

an individual they were struggling with as well we are so hard on ourselves we

as well we are so hard on ourselves we

as well we are so hard on ourselves we put ourselves down for all the wrong

put ourselves down for all the wrong

put ourselves down for all the wrong reasons we nitpick we there’s always

reasons we nitpick we there’s always

reasons we nitpick we there’s always something to change something about us

something to change something about us

something to change something about us that is imperfect that we dwell upon and

that is imperfect that we dwell upon and

that is imperfect that we dwell upon and the issue became that we relate our

the issue became that we relate our

the issue became that we relate our value and our self-worth to elements

value and our self-worth to elements

value and our self-worth to elements that have nothing to do with what is

that have nothing to do with what is

that have nothing to do with what is beautiful and powerful about us and so

beautiful and powerful about us and so

beautiful and powerful about us and so that is what put me on the path to do

that is what put me on the path to do

that is what put me on the path to do something for girls like my daughter for

something for girls like my daughter for

something for girls like my daughter for women like myself and ourselves all over

women like myself and ourselves all over

women like myself and ourselves all over the world and I chose to tackle this

the world and I chose to tackle this

the world and I chose to tackle this issue from the perspective of those

issue from the perspective of those

issue from the perspective of those initial interactions that girls deal

initial interactions that girls deal

initial interactions that girls deal with play creating immersive interactive

with play creating immersive interactive

with play creating immersive interactive truly inclusive play experiences that

truly inclusive play experiences that

truly inclusive play experiences that are anchored in content and ideas and

are anchored in content and ideas and

are anchored in content and ideas and information that really equips girls all

information that really equips girls all

information that really equips girls all over the world to recognize what their

over the world to recognize what their

over the world to recognize what their value is to recognize that they are

value is to recognize that they are

value is to recognize that they are fully

fully

fully equipped innately equipped to have

equipped innately equipped to have

equipped innately equipped to have impact on the world helping girls and

impact on the world helping girls and

impact on the world helping girls and women realize that those qualities and

women realize that those qualities and

women realize that those qualities and those characteristics and those

those characteristics and those

those characteristics and those attributes about themselves that perhaps

attributes about themselves that perhaps

attributes about themselves that perhaps set them apart make them feel other make

set them apart make them feel other make

set them apart make them feel other make them feel different that that is where

them feel different that that is where

them feel different that that is where the opportunity for unique perspective

the opportunity for unique perspective

the opportunity for unique perspective for joy for fulfillment for true impact

for joy for fulfillment for true impact

for joy for fulfillment for true impact on the world meaningful impact on the

on the world meaningful impact on the

on the world meaningful impact on the world lies that that difference is in

world lies that that difference is in

world lies that that difference is in fact a superpower and that being honor

fact a superpower and that being honor

fact a superpower and that being honor honoring yourself surrendering to the

honoring yourself surrendering to the

honoring yourself surrendering to the person that you really are that’s where

person that you really are that’s where

person that you really are that’s where the power begins that’s where the

the power begins that’s where the

the power begins that’s where the freedom for light and laughter and joy

freedom for light and laughter and joy

freedom for light and laughter and joy and peace and fulfillment that’s where

and peace and fulfillment that’s where

and peace and fulfillment that’s where it arrives that that’s where it begins

it arrives that that’s where it begins

it arrives that that’s where it begins and so this is the challenge to all of

and so this is the challenge to all of

and so this is the challenge to all of us today the vision and the mission is

us today the vision and the mission is

us today the vision and the mission is so much bigger than Who I am the

so much bigger than Who I am the

so much bigger than Who I am the question is at what point in your life

question is at what point in your life

question is at what point in your life did you decide that you were not enough

did you decide that you were not enough

did you decide that you were not enough just the way you are I challenge you to

just the way you are I challenge you to

just the way you are I challenge you to reconsider that erroneous mindset those

reconsider that erroneous mindset those

reconsider that erroneous mindset those unrealistic ideals and standards that

unrealistic ideals and standards that

unrealistic ideals and standards that perhaps you strive to live toward and up

perhaps you strive to live toward and up

perhaps you strive to live toward and up to and instead recognize that your

to and instead recognize that your

to and instead recognize that your superpower lies within its the

superpower lies within its the

superpower lies within its the compassion it’s the tenacity

compassion it’s the tenacity

compassion it’s the tenacity it’s the resilience it’s the drive

it’s the resilience it’s the drive

it’s the resilience it’s the drive it’s the selflessness it’s the

it’s the selflessness it’s the

it’s the selflessness it’s the brilliance those elements are innately

brilliance those elements are innately

brilliance those elements are innately in you those are your superpower so be

in you those are your superpower so be

in you those are your superpower so be bold be brilliant and be you thank you

bold be brilliant and be you thank you

bold be brilliant and be you thank you you