[Music] in order to convince you that grip
in order to convince you that grip
in order to convince you that grip trauma treatments is important and
trauma treatments is important and
trauma treatments is important and effective for men ordinary men more than
effective for men ordinary men more than
effective for men ordinary men more than just veterans I wanted to tell you a
just veterans I wanted to tell you a
just veterans I wanted to tell you a story about a man who sought through
story about a man who sought through
story about a man who sought through treatment to deal with symptoms of
treatment to deal with symptoms of
treatment to deal with symptoms of unprocessed trauma and got better as a
unprocessed trauma and got better as a
unprocessed trauma and got better as a result but I don’t have that story not
result but I don’t have that story not
result but I don’t have that story not because group treatment is effective but
because group treatment is effective but
because group treatment is effective but because men aren’t signing up for it or
because men aren’t signing up for it or
because men aren’t signing up for it or even acknowledging their struggle
even acknowledging their struggle
even acknowledging their struggle nowadays everyone talks about male
nowadays everyone talks about male
nowadays everyone talks about male privilege and the advantages given to
privilege and the advantages given to
privilege and the advantages given to men in a lot of areas of our society but
men in a lot of areas of our society but
men in a lot of areas of our society but when it comes to mental health men are
when it comes to mental health men are
when it comes to mental health men are in a striking disadvantage to receive
in a striking disadvantage to receive
in a striking disadvantage to receive mental health services and even talk
mental health services and even talk
mental health services and even talk about their struggles in men substance
about their struggles in men substance
about their struggles in men substance use disorders are three times more
use disorders are three times more
use disorders are three times more common and men account for it means 75%
common and men account for it means 75%
common and men account for it means 75% of people who conceive suicide but
of people who conceive suicide but
of people who conceive suicide but they’re half as likely to seek mental
they’re half as likely to seek mental
they’re half as likely to seek mental health services as a disclaimer this
health services as a disclaimer this
health services as a disclaimer this talk generally refers to gender as a
talk generally refers to gender as a
talk generally refers to gender as a binary concept I recognize that it isn’t
binary concept I recognize that it isn’t
binary concept I recognize that it isn’t however research on transgender gender
however research on transgender gender
however research on transgender gender queer and non-conforming individuals is
queer and non-conforming individuals is
queer and non-conforming individuals is in its infancy there are important and
in its infancy there are important and
in its infancy there are important and distinct mental health needs for those
distinct mental health needs for those
distinct mental health needs for those populations but that’s not the focus of
populations but that’s not the focus of
populations but that’s not the focus of today’s talk also it might seem strange
today’s talk also it might seem strange
today’s talk also it might seem strange that I a white woman and talking to you
that I a white woman and talking to you
that I a white woman and talking to you today about treatment for men so allow
today about treatment for men so allow
today about treatment for men so allow me to introduce myself
me to introduce myself
me to introduce myself my name is Alana Berman and for the last
my name is Alana Berman and for the last
my name is Alana Berman and for the last nine years I’ve been doing trauma
nine years I’ve been doing trauma
nine years I’ve been doing trauma related work in a variety of settings
related work in a variety of settings
related work in a variety of settings I’m passionate about working with trauma
I’m passionate about working with trauma
I’m passionate about working with trauma survivors because I don’t think it’s
survivors because I don’t think it’s
survivors because I don’t think it’s fair that people have to suffer with
fair that people have to suffer with
fair that people have to suffer with everyday living just because something
everyday living just because something
everyday living just because something bad happened to them and as a
bad happened to them and as a
bad happened to them and as a fourth-year student in a ph.d program
fourth-year student in a ph.d program
fourth-year student in a ph.d program for clinical psychology I know there are
for clinical psychology I know there are
for clinical psychology I know there are treatments out there so that they can
treatments out there so that they can
treatments out there so that they can help reclaim their lives okay so what is
help reclaim their lives okay so what is
help reclaim their lives okay so what is trauma and yes that’s trauma with a TR
trauma and yes that’s trauma with a TR
trauma and yes that’s trauma with a TR not drama in psychology when we talk
not drama in psychology when we talk
not drama in psychology when we talk about trauma it’s not necessarily
about trauma it’s not necessarily
about trauma it’s not necessarily physical or blunt force trauma
physical or blunt force trauma
physical or blunt force trauma it’s an emotional wound historically
it’s an emotional wound historically
it’s an emotional wound historically prime examples of trauma have included
prime examples of trauma have included
prime examples of trauma have included going to war or having a car crash or
going to war or having a car crash or
going to war or having a car crash or experiencing a rape those can definitely
experiencing a rape those can definitely
experiencing a rape those can definitely be traumatic but there’s more
tides are beginning to turn in the
tides are beginning to turn in the understanding that trauma is subjective
understanding that trauma is subjective
understanding that trauma is subjective and that means that we each experience
and that means that we each experience
and that means that we each experience situations differently so you’re the
situations differently so you’re the
situations differently so you’re the only one who knows if an incident was
only one who knows if an incident was
only one who knows if an incident was traumatic for you
traumatic for you
traumatic for you essentially trauma is an emotional wound
essentially trauma is an emotional wound
essentially trauma is an emotional wound and so it overwhelms us it overwhelms
and so it overwhelms us it overwhelms
and so it overwhelms us it overwhelms our body’s capacities our resources in
our body’s capacities our resources in
our body’s capacities our resources in the moment when our biological instincts
the moment when our biological instincts
the moment when our biological instincts to fight to flight or freeze kick in and
to fight to flight or freeze kick in and
to fight to flight or freeze kick in and long after the event has passed so
long after the event has passed so
long after the event has passed so statistically men are more likely to be
statistically men are more likely to be
statistically men are more likely to be exposed to trauma but they’re less
exposed to trauma but they’re less
exposed to trauma but they’re less likely to receive help and seek it
likely to receive help and seek it
likely to receive help and seek it really in our recent community
really in our recent community
really in our recent community recruitment for trauma treatment groups
recruitment for trauma treatment groups
recruitment for trauma treatment groups at the psychological clinic on campus we
at the psychological clinic on campus we
at the psychological clinic on campus we actually received zero inquiries from
actually received zero inquiries from
actually received zero inquiries from men okay so if men are saying they’re
men okay so if men are saying they’re
men okay so if men are saying they’re not affected by trauma they’re fine
not affected by trauma they’re fine
not affected by trauma they’re fine they’re over it we should just believe
they’re over it we should just believe
they’re over it we should just believe them and let them get on with their
them and let them get on with their
them and let them get on with their lives right well not so fast in my
lives right well not so fast in my
lives right well not so fast in my experience as supported by research a
experience as supported by research a
experience as supported by research a lot of men have not only experienced but
lot of men have not only experienced but
lot of men have not only experienced but been affected by these traumatic events
been affected by these traumatic events
been affected by these traumatic events and so given these experiences we’d like
and so given these experiences we’d like
and so given these experiences we’d like to help them right and so this doesn’t
to help them right and so this doesn’t
to help them right and so this doesn’t turn into a traumatic event for me I’m
turn into a traumatic event for me I’m
turn into a traumatic event for me I’m gonna reference my notecards a lot of
gonna reference my notecards a lot of
gonna reference my notecards a lot of men are hesitant to identify these
men are hesitant to identify these
men are hesitant to identify these traumas as traumas they just consider
traumas as traumas they just consider
traumas as traumas they just consider these events as part of life life with
these events as part of life life with
these events as part of life life with bad luck nevertheless natural disasters
bad luck nevertheless natural disasters
bad luck nevertheless natural disasters happen people die parents aren’t as
happen people die parents aren’t as
happen people die parents aren’t as supportive as we’d hoped and so you
supportive as we’d hoped and so you
supportive as we’d hoped and so you don’t have to identify these events as a
don’t have to identify these events as a
don’t have to identify these events as a trauma in order to be traumatized you
trauma in order to be traumatized you
trauma in order to be traumatized you might not even recognize the aftermath
might not even recognize the aftermath
might not even recognize the aftermath of trauma even if you’re experiencing it
of trauma even if you’re experiencing it
of trauma even if you’re experiencing it but sometimes other people notice the
but sometimes other people notice the
but sometimes other people notice the signs we’ve all seen the symptoms
signs we’ve all seen the symptoms
signs we’ve all seen the symptoms whether we notice it in someone we love
whether we notice it in someone we love
whether we notice it in someone we love or maybe even ourself but maybe we
or maybe even ourself but maybe we
or maybe even ourself but maybe we haven’t exactly had the label for it so
haven’t exactly had the label for it so
haven’t exactly had the label for it so some of these symptoms come up pretty
some of these symptoms come up pretty
some of these symptoms come up pretty often actually we can see the symptoms
often actually we can see the symptoms
often actually we can see the symptoms and sometimes we notice a facial
and sometimes we notice a facial
and sometimes we notice a facial reaction a wince or a far-off look as
reaction a wince or a far-off look as
reaction a wince or a far-off look as someone is experiencing a flashback
someone is experiencing a flashback
someone is experiencing a flashback feeling like they’re reliving that event
feeling like they’re reliving that event
feeling like they’re reliving that event sometimes these flashbacks come in the
sometimes these flashbacks come in the
sometimes these flashbacks come in the form of nightmares
form of nightmares
form of nightmares making it difficult to fall asleep or
making it difficult to fall asleep or
making it difficult to fall asleep or staying asleep making us tired from
staying asleep making us tired from
staying asleep making us tired from restless nights sometimes we see someone
restless nights sometimes we see someone
restless nights sometimes we see someone who’s jumpy or always on edge we all
who’s jumpy or always on edge we all
who’s jumpy or always on edge we all know someone who’s too scared to sit
know someone who’s too scared to sit
know someone who’s too scared to sit with their back to the door at a
with their back to the door at a
with their back to the door at a restaurant and then sometimes in men
restaurant and then sometimes in men
restaurant and then sometimes in men we might even view that as an honorable
we might even view that as an honorable
we might even view that as an honorable or protective act when really it can be
or protective act when really it can be
or protective act when really it can be a sign of trauma sometimes this hyper
a sign of trauma sometimes this hyper
a sign of trauma sometimes this hyper vigilance comes in the form of being the
vigilance comes in the form of being the
vigilance comes in the form of being the fear of being abandoned so maybe we
fear of being abandoned so maybe we
fear of being abandoned so maybe we cling a little too tight or don’t get
cling a little too tight or don’t get
cling a little too tight or don’t get too close to anybody in the first place
too close to anybody in the first place
too close to anybody in the first place for fear that everyone will eventually
for fear that everyone will eventually
for fear that everyone will eventually hurt us or leave us anyway and so there
hurt us or leave us anyway and so there
hurt us or leave us anyway and so there are ways that trauma can change the way
are ways that trauma can change the way
are ways that trauma can change the way that we look at the world the way we
that we look at the world the way we
that we look at the world the way we look at ourselves and others sometimes
look at ourselves and others sometimes
look at ourselves and others sometimes these symptoms come and we’re alone
these symptoms come and we’re alone
these symptoms come and we’re alone without anyone there to witness maybe
without anyone there to witness maybe
without anyone there to witness maybe it’s that nagging feeling that we could
it’s that nagging feeling that we could
it’s that nagging feeling that we could have saved our friend or when we make a
have saved our friend or when we make a
have saved our friend or when we make a mistake at work we hear our mothers
mistake at work we hear our mothers
mistake at work we hear our mothers voice telling us how useless we are
voice telling us how useless we are
voice telling us how useless we are trauma really can change everything and
trauma really can change everything and
trauma really can change everything and so we’ve got to do something about that
so we’ve got to do something about that
so we’ve got to do something about that right because in men trauma can look a
right because in men trauma can look a
right because in men trauma can look a little differently in general men are
little differently in general men are
little differently in general men are more likely to react externally or act
more likely to react externally or act
more likely to react externally or act out experience expressing their fear is
out experience expressing their fear is
out experience expressing their fear is in the form of anger or irritability in
in the form of anger or irritability in
in the form of anger or irritability in America men are more likely to kill and
America men are more likely to kill and
America men are more likely to kill and are responsible for over 90% of all
are responsible for over 90% of all
are responsible for over 90% of all murders these stresses can also express
murders these stresses can also express
murders these stresses can also express themselves in different ways so we can
themselves in different ways so we can
themselves in different ways so we can project the stress onto our
project the stress onto our
project the stress onto our relationships romantic or otherwise have
relationships romantic or otherwise have
relationships romantic or otherwise have difficulty connecting or communicating
difficulty connecting or communicating
difficulty connecting or communicating with others and really just impact the
with others and really just impact the
with others and really just impact the way that we function so there’s a lot
way that we function so there’s a lot
way that we function so there’s a lot going on here
going on here
going on here the point is men are exhibiting symptoms
the point is men are exhibiting symptoms
the point is men are exhibiting symptoms of trauma without realizing that their
of trauma without realizing that their
of trauma without realizing that their symptoms of trauma symptoms are really
symptoms of trauma symptoms are really
symptoms of trauma symptoms are really hiding in plain sight and so we know
hiding in plain sight and so we know
hiding in plain sight and so we know that everyone is affected everyone can
that everyone is affected everyone can
that everyone is affected everyone can be affected
be affected
be affected additionally alcohol and drugs can be a
additionally alcohol and drugs can be a
additionally alcohol and drugs can be a common outcome of experiencing trauma we
common outcome of experiencing trauma we
common outcome of experiencing trauma we sometimes don’t turn to substances as a
sometimes don’t turn to substances as a
sometimes don’t turn to substances as a form of avoidance a coping mechanism so
form of avoidance a coping mechanism so
form of avoidance a coping mechanism so yes
yes
yes avoidance to make things worse as humans
avoidance to make things worse as humans
avoidance to make things worse as humans we have this tendency to avoid we don’t
we have this tendency to avoid we don’t
we have this tendency to avoid we don’t want to
want to
want to talk about things we don’t even want to
talk about things we don’t even want to
talk about things we don’t even want to think about them and sometimes that can
think about them and sometimes that can
think about them and sometimes that can work great for us for a little bit right
work great for us for a little bit right
work great for us for a little bit right but some then we experience these we
but some then we experience these we
but some then we experience these we want to avoid the anxiety so we exit the
want to avoid the anxiety so we exit the
want to avoid the anxiety so we exit the situation when we’re faced with a
situation when we’re faced with a
situation when we’re faced with a trigger like authority figures or the
trigger like authority figures or the
trigger like authority figures or the scent of Cologne that are abusive father
scent of Cologne that are abusive father
scent of Cologne that are abusive father war or maybe the white car like the one
war or maybe the white car like the one
war or maybe the white car like the one from the accident so that strategy works
from the accident so that strategy works
from the accident so that strategy works for a bit but it fails this overtime it
for a bit but it fails this overtime it
for a bit but it fails this overtime it actually makes things worse for us those
actually makes things worse for us those
actually makes things worse for us those thoughts come into our mind more often
thoughts come into our mind more often
thoughts come into our mind more often and we it seems even more unmanageable
and we it seems even more unmanageable
and we it seems even more unmanageable so furthermore there’s a study called
so furthermore there’s a study called
so furthermore there’s a study called the adverse childhood experiences and of
the adverse childhood experiences and of
the adverse childhood experiences and of these 10 types of traumas studies have
these 10 types of traumas studies have
these 10 types of traumas studies have shown that the more types of trauma
shown that the more types of trauma
shown that the more types of trauma experienced the more severe the symptoms
experienced the more severe the symptoms
experienced the more severe the symptoms are in fact individuals who’ve
are in fact individuals who’ve
are in fact individuals who’ve experienced at least four of these types
experienced at least four of these types
experienced at least four of these types of traumas are way more likely to
of traumas are way more likely to
of traumas are way more likely to experience mental and physical problems
experience mental and physical problems
experience mental and physical problems like stroke heart disease and even die
like stroke heart disease and even die
like stroke heart disease and even die up to twenty years sooner so we know
up to twenty years sooner so we know
up to twenty years sooner so we know that not addressing the underlying
that not addressing the underlying
that not addressing the underlying trauma that is fueling these symptoms
trauma that is fueling these symptoms
trauma that is fueling these symptoms can be a big problem the good news is we
can be a big problem the good news is we
can be a big problem the good news is we have treatments and a lot of evidence
have treatments and a lot of evidence
have treatments and a lot of evidence that they work one of these treatments
that they work one of these treatments
that they work one of these treatments is a group trauma treatment that uses
is a group trauma treatment that uses
is a group trauma treatment that uses exposure to the thoughts and the
exposure to the thoughts and the
exposure to the thoughts and the memories of the trauma by telling your
memories of the trauma by telling your
memories of the trauma by telling your story in a specific way and cognitive
story in a specific way and cognitive
story in a specific way and cognitive processing which is learning to
processing which is learning to
processing which is learning to understand to be aware of how you form
understand to be aware of how you form
understand to be aware of how you form these beliefs and challenge the
these beliefs and challenge the
these beliefs and challenge the unhelpful ones like maybe no one can be
unhelpful ones like maybe no one can be
unhelpful ones like maybe no one can be trusted ever and learning some more
trusted ever and learning some more
trusted ever and learning some more helpful coping patterns and ways of
helpful coping patterns and ways of
helpful coping patterns and ways of thinking so taking these things together
thinking so taking these things together
thinking so taking these things together we’re teaching people that not to avoid
we’re teaching people that not to avoid
we’re teaching people that not to avoid the trauma but to actually approach it
the trauma but to actually approach it
the trauma but to actually approach it because yes these things are absolutely
because yes these things are absolutely
because yes these things are absolutely uncomfortable to talk about but they’re
uncomfortable to talk about but they’re
uncomfortable to talk about but they’re not dangerous and doing so we can learn
not dangerous and doing so we can learn
not dangerous and doing so we can learn a way to get through those emotions that
a way to get through those emotions that
a way to get through those emotions that come up and lead more successful lives
come up and lead more successful lives
come up and lead more successful lives without these symptoms interfering so
without these symptoms interfering so
without these symptoms interfering so experience going through these trauma
experience going through these trauma
experience going through these trauma treatment can certainly be done in an
treatment can certainly be done in an
treatment can certainly be done in an individual setting especially because
individual setting especially because
individual setting especially because it’s just you and the therapist that
it’s just you and the therapist that
it’s just you and the therapist that would know what’s going on right but it
would know what’s going on right but it
would know what’s going on right but it can actually be even more useful to
can actually be even more useful to
can actually be even more useful to provide this in a group setting
provide this in a group setting
provide this in a group setting the additional benefits like support and
the additional benefits like support and
the additional benefits like support and validation can come not just from a paid
validation can come not just from a paid
validation can come not just from a paid therapist but also your peers people
therapist but also your peers people
therapist but also your peers people often fear reactions that they get from
often fear reactions that they get from
often fear reactions that they get from others that they might have actually
others that they might have actually
others that they might have actually received before when talking about
received before when talking about
received before when talking about trauma you’ve got shame blame social
trauma you’ve got shame blame social
trauma you’ve got shame blame social rejection invalidation all of that is
rejection invalidation all of that is
rejection invalidation all of that is terrible trauma can make us feel
terrible trauma can make us feel
terrible trauma can make us feel isolated and alone and so when we come
isolated and alone and so when we come
isolated and alone and so when we come together in a group it’s different so
together in a group it’s different so
together in a group it’s different so now imagine experiencing the exact
now imagine experiencing the exact
now imagine experiencing the exact opposite of everything you’ve feared in
opposite of everything you’ve feared in
opposite of everything you’ve feared in this safe confidential and
this safe confidential and
this safe confidential and non-judgmental environment participants
non-judgmental environment participants
non-judgmental environment participants have the opportunity to learn that
have the opportunity to learn that
have the opportunity to learn that they’re not alone other people have gone
they’re not alone other people have gone
they’re not alone other people have gone through similar things and so they can
through similar things and so they can
through similar things and so they can support each other because they’re all
support each other because they’re all
support each other because they’re all in their own stage in a journey of
in their own stage in a journey of
in their own stage in a journey of recovery to getting better they can
recovery to getting better they can
recovery to getting better they can provide that encouragement that support
provide that encouragement that support
provide that encouragement that support that compassion and really work together
that compassion and really work together
that compassion and really work together learning new strategies of how to move
learning new strategies of how to move
learning new strategies of how to move forward okay so it sounds pretty great
forward okay so it sounds pretty great
forward okay so it sounds pretty great right so why aren’t men signing up for
right so why aren’t men signing up for
right so why aren’t men signing up for group treatment
group treatment
group treatment well stigma has former NFL player Joe
well stigma has former NFL player Joe
well stigma has former NFL player Joe ermine once said the three most
ermine once said the three most
ermine once said the three most destructive words that every boy hear
destructive words that every boy hear
destructive words that every boy hear that every man hears when he’s a boy is
that every man hears when he’s a boy is
that every man hears when he’s a boy is when he’s told to be a man societally
when he’s told to be a man societally
when he’s told to be a man societally and culturally men are raised to think
and culturally men are raised to think
and culturally men are raised to think that emotions are a signs of weakness
that emotions are a signs of weakness
that emotions are a signs of weakness and vulnerability they’re told to be
and vulnerability they’re told to be
and vulnerability they’re told to be strong and tough and picked themselves
strong and tough and picked themselves
strong and tough and picked themselves up by their bootstraps and so that’s
up by their bootstraps and so that’s
up by their bootstraps and so that’s really hard to do and kind of sets us up
really hard to do and kind of sets us up
really hard to do and kind of sets us up for failure and they’re also taught that
for failure and they’re also taught that
for failure and they’re also taught that other men don’t have these emotional
other men don’t have these emotional
other men don’t have these emotional experiences it’s not like we see a lot
experiences it’s not like we see a lot
experiences it’s not like we see a lot of examples in mainstream media of men
of examples in mainstream media of men
of examples in mainstream media of men discussing their mental health problems
discussing their mental health problems
discussing their mental health problems most male characters I can think of that
most male characters I can think of that
most male characters I can think of that even discuss mental health are portrayed
even discuss mental health are portrayed
even discuss mental health are portrayed as gay or socially rejected even women
as gay or socially rejected even women
as gay or socially rejected even women are featured in the advertisements for
are featured in the advertisements for
are featured in the advertisements for depression commercials or seen in films
depression commercials or seen in films
depression commercials or seen in films reaching out for support these
reaching out for support these
reaching out for support these stereotyped and gendered portrayals only
stereotyped and gendered portrayals only
stereotyped and gendered portrayals only further instigate the reluctance of men
further instigate the reluctance of men
further instigate the reluctance of men to seek help
to seek help
to seek help so expressing and experiencing these
so expressing and experiencing these
so expressing and experiencing these emotions is somehow even is counter to
emotions is somehow even is counter to
emotions is somehow even is counter to the concept of masculinity but emotions
the concept of masculinity but emotions
the concept of masculinity but emotions are important they give us information
are important they give us information
are important they give us information they communicate with other
they communicate with other
they communicate with other and they help us process the world
and they help us process the world
and they help us process the world around us so we kind of need those as
around us so we kind of need those as
around us so we kind of need those as children boys and girls begin equally
children boys and girls begin equally
children boys and girls begin equally emotional and expressive but even well
emotional and expressive but even well
emotional and expressive but even well intending adults start to interpret
intending adults start to interpret
intending adults start to interpret behavior through gendered lenses even as
behavior through gendered lenses even as
behavior through gendered lenses even as young as infants adults will interpret
young as infants adults will interpret
young as infants adults will interpret behavior the same facial response and as
behavior the same facial response and as
behavior the same facial response and as fear if they’re told the infant is a
fear if they’re told the infant is a
fear if they’re told the infant is a girl and anger if they’re told the
girl and anger if they’re told the
girl and anger if they’re told the infant is a boy so by the age of three
infant is a boy so by the age of three
infant is a boy so by the age of three to five years old boys are actually
to five years old boys are actually
to five years old boys are actually starting to show signs of hiding their
starting to show signs of hiding their
starting to show signs of hiding their emotions three to five years old so take
emotions three to five years old so take
emotions three to five years old so take this history this culture and combine
this history this culture and combine
this history this culture and combine that with this tendency to avoid and now
that with this tendency to avoid and now
that with this tendency to avoid and now it makes sense why men aren’t eager to
it makes sense why men aren’t eager to
it makes sense why men aren’t eager to sign up for group treatment talk about
sign up for group treatment talk about
sign up for group treatment talk about their past experiences and current
their past experiences and current
their past experiences and current difficulties with the group of other men
difficulties with the group of other men
difficulties with the group of other men I get it it’s tough so let me illustrate
I get it it’s tough so let me illustrate
I get it it’s tough so let me illustrate this point for you with two examples of
this point for you with two examples of
this point for you with two examples of people I’ve met in real life in
people I’ve met in real life in
people I’ve met in real life in recruiting for trauma treatment groups
recruiting for trauma treatment groups
recruiting for trauma treatment groups in the community so in the first session
in the community so in the first session
in the community so in the first session of a trauma treatment group at a local
of a trauma treatment group at a local
of a trauma treatment group at a local women’s prison I met a woman at the
women’s prison I met a woman at the
women’s prison I met a woman at the first session who said well you know I
first session who said well you know I
first session who said well you know I had this trauma
had this trauma
had this trauma well she had actually heard the
well she had actually heard the
well she had actually heard the recruitment story several times before
recruitment story several times before
recruitment story several times before she even got to sit in that room she
she even got to sit in that room she
she even got to sit in that room she said I was hesitant to sign up and I
said I was hesitant to sign up and I
said I was hesitant to sign up and I still don’t know if this group is right
still don’t know if this group is right
still don’t know if this group is right for me and she said she experienced
for me and she said she experienced
for me and she said she experienced something bad and she was younger but it
something bad and she was younger but it
something bad and she was younger but it was so long ago that you know she
was so long ago that you know she
was so long ago that you know she doesn’t think it affects her anymore
doesn’t think it affects her anymore
doesn’t think it affects her anymore and she was quiet for the first few
and she was quiet for the first few
and she was quiet for the first few weeks as other people expressed their
weeks as other people expressed their
weeks as other people expressed their symptoms of having difficulty trusting
symptoms of having difficulty trusting
symptoms of having difficulty trusting people and sort of missing out on
people and sort of missing out on
people and sort of missing out on opportunities because they were too
opportunities because they were too
opportunities because they were too scared they had this anxiety but
scared they had this anxiety but
scared they had this anxiety but eventually she started to share too and
eventually she started to share too and
eventually she started to share too and it was affecting her by these intrusive
it was affecting her by these intrusive
it was affecting her by these intrusive nightmares and she was having
nightmares and she was having
nightmares and she was having promiscuous sex and discussed that she
promiscuous sex and discussed that she
promiscuous sex and discussed that she actually had started using drugs to numb
actually had started using drugs to numb
actually had started using drugs to numb out those feelings – so these symptoms
out those feelings – so these symptoms
out those feelings – so these symptoms were really intruding in her life she
were really intruding in her life she
were really intruding in her life she didn’t want to give up recreation time
didn’t want to give up recreation time
didn’t want to give up recreation time to come and be there and talk about that
to come and be there and talk about that
to come and be there and talk about that but she shared her story of child sexual
but she shared her story of child sexual
but she shared her story of child sexual abuse in that fourth session of group by
abuse in that fourth session of group by
abuse in that fourth session of group by the end of the eight-week treatment this
the end of the eight-week treatment this
the end of the eight-week treatment this woman had reported decrease in
woman had reported decrease in
woman had reported decrease in of PTSD anxiety and depression and all
of PTSD anxiety and depression and all
of PTSD anxiety and depression and all of these gains were maintained at least
of these gains were maintained at least
of these gains were maintained at least three months after treatment when we
three months after treatment when we
three months after treatment when we followed up so it was the supportiveness
followed up so it was the supportiveness
followed up so it was the supportiveness of the encouragement of the prison staff
of the encouragement of the prison staff
of the encouragement of the prison staff as well as the supportiveness of the
as well as the supportiveness of the
as well as the supportiveness of the clinicians that engaged her in treatment
clinicians that engaged her in treatment
clinicians that engaged her in treatment but really it was the examples of the
but really it was the examples of the
but really it was the examples of the other women the other women sharing
other women the other women sharing
other women the other women sharing their stories and encouraging her to
their stories and encouraging her to
their stories and encouraging her to stay so in contrast I met a man at a
stay so in contrast I met a man at a
stay so in contrast I met a man at a local drug court facility when
local drug court facility when
local drug court facility when recruiting in the community there and he
recruiting in the community there and he
recruiting in the community there and he said he had a hard life but he didn’t
said he had a hard life but he didn’t
said he had a hard life but he didn’t experience trauma
experience trauma
experience trauma I was never raped or anything he said
I was never raped or anything he said
I was never raped or anything he said and so he said some he basically was
and so he said some he basically was
and so he said some he basically was like okay you know so this happened to
like okay you know so this happened to
like okay you know so this happened to me when I was young but you know he so
me when I was young but you know he so
me when I was young but you know he so what happened to him is he said his
what happened to him is he said his
what happened to him is he said his father used to hit him his siblings and
father used to hit him his siblings and
father used to hit him his siblings and especially his mom and he said well that
especially his mom and he said well that
especially his mom and he said well that doesn’t really bother me now and you
doesn’t really bother me now and you
doesn’t really bother me now and you want me to go to treatment just because
want me to go to treatment just because
want me to go to treatment just because my dad hit me everybody I know has a
my dad hit me everybody I know has a
my dad hit me everybody I know has a story like this why would I do that
story like this why would I do that
story like this why would I do that besides he was too busy for group with
besides he was too busy for group with
besides he was too busy for group with everything going on with drug court and
everything going on with drug court and
everything going on with drug court and he had bills to pay he was working all
he had bills to pay he was working all
he had bills to pay he was working all the time and he said he was trying to
the time and he said he was trying to
the time and he said he was trying to pay child support for these kids he
pay child support for these kids he
pay child support for these kids he didn’t even get to visit and that was
didn’t even get to visit and that was
didn’t even get to visit and that was the moment where I saw the sadness in
the moment where I saw the sadness in
the moment where I saw the sadness in his eyes so he says he’s over it but his
his eyes so he says he’s over it but his
his eyes so he says he’s over it but his drug court counselor tells us that he’s
drug court counselor tells us that he’s
drug court counselor tells us that he’s actually missing appointments a lot of
actually missing appointments a lot of
actually missing appointments a lot of the time he’s getting angry and group
the time he’s getting angry and group
the time he’s getting angry and group settings and he’s sort of joking about
settings and he’s sort of joking about
settings and he’s sort of joking about everything that’s happened to him and
everything that’s happened to him and
everything that’s happened to him and not taking it seriously
not taking it seriously
not taking it seriously which is another form of avoidance so
which is another form of avoidance so
which is another form of avoidance so these symptoms these seemingly normal
these symptoms these seemingly normal
these symptoms these seemingly normal behaviors are actually symptoms of
behaviors are actually symptoms of
behaviors are actually symptoms of trauma and they’re interfering with his
trauma and they’re interfering with his
trauma and they’re interfering with his life at this point but he said no thank
life at this point but he said no thank
life at this point but he said no thank you
you
you he and I respected that autonomy so we
he and I respected that autonomy so we
he and I respected that autonomy so we told each other to have a good day and
told each other to have a good day and
told each other to have a good day and that was the end of our interaction see
that was the end of our interaction see
that was the end of our interaction see I wanted to tell you a story that was
I wanted to tell you a story that was
I wanted to tell you a story that was successful but I don’t have that because
successful but I don’t have that because
successful but I don’t have that because this kept happening man after man sounds
this kept happening man after man sounds
this kept happening man after man sounds frustrating huh
frustrating huh
frustrating huh actually it’s more disappointing to me
actually it’s more disappointing to me
actually it’s more disappointing to me in that as you could see these women
in that as you could see these women
in that as you could see these women were really benefiting from group they
were really benefiting from group they
were really benefiting from group they loved the experience they loved
loved the experience they loved
loved the experience they loved connecting
connecting
connecting other women and they really like being
other women and they really like being
other women and they really like being bothered by those symptoms a little bit
bothered by those symptoms a little bit
bothered by those symptoms a little bit less but these men denied themselves
less but these men denied themselves
less but these men denied themselves that opportunity they didn’t want to
that opportunity they didn’t want to
that opportunity they didn’t want to participate and so we didn’t get a group
participate and so we didn’t get a group
participate and so we didn’t get a group going for males at that time so what are
going for males at that time so what are
going for males at that time so what are we get to do about that act one place
we get to do about that act one place
we get to do about that act one place where we look as an example is the
where we look as an example is the
where we look as an example is the Department of Veteran Affairs the VA
Department of Veteran Affairs the VA
Department of Veteran Affairs the VA actually has men engaged in trauma
actually has men engaged in trauma
actually has men engaged in trauma treatment groups how did they do that
treatment groups how did they do that
treatment groups how did they do that it’s so popular there they sometimes
it’s so popular there they sometimes
it’s so popular there they sometimes even have a wait list well it wasn’t an
even have a wait list well it wasn’t an
even have a wait list well it wasn’t an overnight achievement for them either
overnight achievement for them either
overnight achievement for them either it took about 20 years from the time
it took about 20 years from the time
it took about 20 years from the time that they decided to hire a clinical
that they decided to hire a clinical
that they decided to hire a clinical psychologist to develop and improve
psychologist to develop and improve
psychologist to develop and improve treatments to serve male populations and
treatments to serve male populations and
treatments to serve male populations and then encourage men to sign up and
then encourage men to sign up and
then encourage men to sign up and increase recruitment so what it took
increase recruitment so what it took
increase recruitment so what it took there was this huge culture shift within
there was this huge culture shift within
there was this huge culture shift within the organization from the top down from
the organization from the top down from
the organization from the top down from the management to staff and permeating
the management to staff and permeating
the management to staff and permeating throughout the ranks of veterans that
throughout the ranks of veterans that
throughout the ranks of veterans that not only was help available but that
not only was help available but that
not only was help available but that they could utilize it to go to help
they could utilize it to go to help
they could utilize it to go to help recover from what they’ve been through
recover from what they’ve been through
recover from what they’ve been through in their service in order to utilize
in their service in order to utilize
in their service in order to utilize those services men had to recognize two
those services men had to recognize two
those services men had to recognize two things one they were affected by their
things one they were affected by their
things one they were affected by their experiences and two treatment could help
experiences and two treatment could help
experiences and two treatment could help they had to be encouraged to do that so
they had to be encouraged to do that so
they had to be encouraged to do that so similar to what happened at the VA
similar to what happened at the VA
similar to what happened at the VA society at large could really benefit
society at large could really benefit
society at large could really benefit from a culture shift this here is my
from a culture shift this here is my
from a culture shift this here is my top-down approach I’m coming to you as a
top-down approach I’m coming to you as a
top-down approach I’m coming to you as a clinical psychologist in training
clinical psychologist in training
clinical psychologist in training talking to you engaged in interested
talking to you engaged in interested
talking to you engaged in interested people about what I’ve seen men
people about what I’ve seen men
people about what I’ve seen men struggling and not realizing that they
struggling and not realizing that they
struggling and not realizing that they don’t have to and that they can still
don’t have to and that they can still
don’t have to and that they can still keep their man card if they ask for help
keep their man card if they ask for help
keep their man card if they ask for help so what are we supposed to do we’ve got
so what are we supposed to do we’ve got
so what are we supposed to do we’ve got to figure it out at this point we’ve got
to figure it out at this point we’ve got
to figure it out at this point we’ve got to tackle the barriers and I’m not
to tackle the barriers and I’m not
to tackle the barriers and I’m not saying I’m the first one to do this
saying I’m the first one to do this
saying I’m the first one to do this don’t get me wrong there have been
don’t get me wrong there have been
don’t get me wrong there have been attempts from within the field before to
attempts from within the field before to
attempts from within the field before to do that for example there’s a website
do that for example there’s a website
do that for example there’s a website called man therapy org and it utilizes
called man therapy org and it utilizes
called man therapy org and it utilizes the existing stereotypes of strong men
the existing stereotypes of strong men
the existing stereotypes of strong men with facial hair and uses colloquial
with facial hair and uses colloquial
with facial hair and uses colloquial language like when where he grabs you by
language like when where he grabs you by
language like when where he grabs you by the balls or it’s okay to cry even if
the balls or it’s okay to cry even if
the balls or it’s okay to cry even if it’s not about sports
it’s not about sports
it’s not about sports that’s a great start right but we need
that’s a great start right but we need
that’s a great start right but we need more and it’s going to take all of us to
more and it’s going to take all of us to
more and it’s going to take all of us to make that shift we’re working to create
make that shift we’re working to create
make that shift we’re working to create safe places but they have to be utilized
safe places but they have to be utilized
safe places but they have to be utilized to be effective we’re changing the
to be effective we’re changing the
to be effective we’re changing the language that we use in recruitment
language that we use in recruitment
language that we use in recruitment we’re also trying to increase awareness
we’re also trying to increase awareness
we’re also trying to increase awareness in the public of everything that’s gone
in the public of everything that’s gone
in the public of everything that’s gone on so that we know about the impact of
on so that we know about the impact of
on so that we know about the impact of trauma so here I am today and yet it’s
trauma so here I am today and yet it’s
trauma so here I am today and yet it’s still going to take a community of
still going to take a community of
still going to take a community of people to support men and help them
people to support men and help them
people to support men and help them realize that some of the difficulties
realize that some of the difficulties
realize that some of the difficulties they’re going through might be an
they’re going through might be an
they’re going through might be an expected result of what’s happened to
expected result of what’s happened to
expected result of what’s happened to them so let’s do this together let’s
them so let’s do this together let’s
them so let’s do this together let’s teach children and we’ve got to teach
teach children and we’ve got to teach
teach children and we’ve got to teach children and adults to be aware of their
children and adults to be aware of their
children and adults to be aware of their emotions to recognize them and to
emotions to recognize them and to
emotions to recognize them and to respond to them with compassion we
respond to them with compassion we
respond to them with compassion we recognize that it’s unfair and you don’t
recognize that it’s unfair and you don’t
recognize that it’s unfair and you don’t have to feel this way anymore we’re
have to feel this way anymore we’re
have to feel this way anymore we’re ready to reward the strength that it
ready to reward the strength that it
ready to reward the strength that it takes because it takes more strength to
takes because it takes more strength to
takes because it takes more strength to ask for help than it does to suffer
ask for help than it does to suffer
ask for help than it does to suffer alone so when we’re ready to step up
alone so when we’re ready to step up
alone so when we’re ready to step up we’re here for you more help is on the
we’re here for you more help is on the
we’re here for you more help is on the way when you’re ready to fight for it
way when you’re ready to fight for it
way when you’re ready to fight for it thank you
thank you
thank you [Applause]
”
Be First to Comment