in the fall of 2015 I went to kick I went to chemotherapy treatment with my
went to chemotherapy treatment with my
went to chemotherapy treatment with my mom who had stage 4 metastatic breast
mom who had stage 4 metastatic breast
mom who had stage 4 metastatic breast cancer we did this every week together
cancer we did this every week together
cancer we did this every week together it kind of became our thing
it kind of became our thing
it kind of became our thing we actually had fun weird huh fun at
we actually had fun weird huh fun at
we actually had fun weird huh fun at chemo at the end of the week my mom
chemo at the end of the week my mom
chemo at the end of the week my mom would get her weekly dose of chemo
would get her weekly dose of chemo
would get her weekly dose of chemo cocktail and I would get a cup of the
cocktail and I would get a cup of the
cocktail and I would get a cup of the strongest black coffee the hospital had
strongest black coffee the hospital had
strongest black coffee the hospital had to offer that day when we walked into
to offer that day when we walked into
to offer that day when we walked into the Cancer Center it was unusually quiet
the Cancer Center it was unusually quiet
the Cancer Center it was unusually quiet and so when my mom went into the
and so when my mom went into the
and so when my mom went into the treatment room she asked her oncologist
treatment room she asked her oncologist
treatment room she asked her oncologist I said so quiet today her oncologist
I said so quiet today her oncologist
I said so quiet today her oncologist informed her that there are two young
informed her that there are two young
informed her that there are two young women who would be receiving life-saving
women who would be receiving life-saving
women who would be receiving life-saving treatment that day and they were 24 and
treatment that day and they were 24 and
treatment that day and they were 24 and 25 years old 24 and 25 years old
25 years old 24 and 25 years old
25 years old 24 and 25 years old I kept thinking wow that’s my age holy
I kept thinking wow that’s my age holy
I kept thinking wow that’s my age holy crap even though I was thinking a lot
crap even though I was thinking a lot
crap even though I was thinking a lot more explicit things in my head
more explicit things in my head
more explicit things in my head we went back into the treatment room and
we went back into the treatment room and
we went back into the treatment room and i sat there distracted because of those
i sat there distracted because of those
i sat there distracted because of those two young women in the room one in eight
two young women in the room one in eight
two young women in the room one in eight women had the chance of being diagnosed
women had the chance of being diagnosed
women had the chance of being diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime I
with breast cancer in their lifetime I
with breast cancer in their lifetime I was worried about passing my exam on
was worried about passing my exam on
was worried about passing my exam on Monday and what my bank account looked
Monday and what my bank account looked
Monday and what my bank account looked like when these girls were fighting for
like when these girls were fighting for
like when these girls were fighting for their lives the American Cancer Society
their lives the American Cancer Society
their lives the American Cancer Society estimates that there are 3.1 million
estimates that there are 3.1 million
estimates that there are 3.1 million breast cancer survivors living in the
breast cancer survivors living in the
breast cancer survivors living in the United States for some perspective
United States for some perspective
United States for some perspective that’s 25 times the population of
that’s 25 times the population of
that’s 25 times the population of Hartford Connecticut where we are right
Hartford Connecticut where we are right
Hartford Connecticut where we are right now I’m sure it’d be really difficult to
now I’m sure it’d be really difficult to
now I’m sure it’d be really difficult to find someone in this room who hasn’t
find someone in this room who hasn’t
find someone in this room who hasn’t been touched by breast cancer in some
been touched by breast cancer in some
been touched by breast cancer in some way so let me tell you a little bit
way so let me tell you a little bit
way so let me tell you a little bit about my story
about my story
about my story and why I’m here tonight it all started
and why I’m here tonight it all started
and why I’m here tonight it all started the week of my 13th birthday I got my
the week of my 13th birthday I got my
the week of my 13th birthday I got my period for the first time I was
period for the first time I was
period for the first time I was absolutely mortified oh my gosh I had
absolutely mortified oh my gosh I had
absolutely mortified oh my gosh I had family members actually sending me
family members actually sending me
family members actually sending me flowers congratulating me on becoming a
flowers congratulating me on becoming a
flowers congratulating me on becoming a woman like I really needed that oh and
woman like I really needed that oh and
woman like I really needed that oh and my mom got me a period ring a period
my mom got me a period ring a period
my mom got me a period ring a period ring a garnet ring to symbolize the day
ring a garnet ring to symbolize the day
ring a garnet ring to symbolize the day of me becoming a woman I’m sorry but I’m
of me becoming a woman I’m sorry but I’m
of me becoming a woman I’m sorry but I’m 26 years old and with these monthly
26 years old and with these monthly
26 years old and with these monthly reminders I’ll never forget oh and my
reminders I’ll never forget oh and my
reminders I’ll never forget oh and my parents were getting a divorce and my
parents were getting a divorce and my
parents were getting a divorce and my dad was moving out what a great start to
dad was moving out what a great start to
dad was moving out what a great start to my birthday week at least we were going
my birthday week at least we were going
my birthday week at least we were going to Florida with my dad for our winter
to Florida with my dad for our winter
to Florida with my dad for our winter break and going to have the trip of a
break and going to have the trip of a
break and going to have the trip of a lifetime on our way home we were on such
lifetime on our way home we were on such
lifetime on our way home we were on such a high we pulled into the driveway and
a high we pulled into the driveway and
a high we pulled into the driveway and we saw our mom standing there in the
we saw our mom standing there in the
we saw our mom standing there in the doorway greeting us and she was trying
doorway greeting us and she was trying
doorway greeting us and she was trying to get us to come in quickly and she was
to get us to come in quickly and she was
to get us to come in quickly and she was trying to get my dad’s come in as we
trying to get my dad’s come in as we
trying to get my dad’s come in as we went in I thought to myself oh she’s
went in I thought to myself oh she’s
went in I thought to myself oh she’s gonna yell at us because we didn’t wear
gonna yell at us because we didn’t wear
gonna yell at us because we didn’t wear enough sunscreen no she actually sat us
enough sunscreen no she actually sat us
enough sunscreen no she actually sat us down and with my birthday present still
down and with my birthday present still
down and with my birthday present still in the corner Sam’s still in my hair and
in the corner Sam’s still in my hair and
in the corner Sam’s still in my hair and salt on my sunkissed skin my mom told us
salt on my sunkissed skin my mom told us
salt on my sunkissed skin my mom told us that she was diagnosed with breast
that she was diagnosed with breast
that she was diagnosed with breast cancer my mom was one of 3.1 million
cancer my mom was one of 3.1 million
cancer my mom was one of 3.1 million women who were diving in the United
women who were diving in the United
women who were diving in the United States with breast cancer we sat there
States with breast cancer we sat there
States with breast cancer we sat there in silence for a while and couldn’t
in silence for a while and couldn’t
in silence for a while and couldn’t really comprehend what cancer meant so
really comprehend what cancer meant so
really comprehend what cancer meant so what did cancer mean to me at that age
what did cancer mean to me at that age
what did cancer mean to me at that age in my life well cancer meant a few
in my life well cancer meant a few
in my life well cancer meant a few things to me at age 13 it meant I could
things to me at age 13 it meant I could
things to me at age 13 it meant I could eat ice cream for breakfast because my
eat ice cream for breakfast because my
eat ice cream for breakfast because my mom didn’t want to wait until after
mom didn’t want to wait until after
mom didn’t want to wait until after dinner it meant we had tennis lessons
dinner it meant we had tennis lessons
dinner it meant we had tennis lessons every day because my mom had chemo every
every day because my mom had chemo every
every day because my mom had chemo every day it meant we had family and friends
day it meant we had family and friends
day it meant we had family and friends come to our house and make us food and
come to our house and make us food and
come to our house and make us food and you
you
you the dishes so I didn’t have to do them
the dishes so I didn’t have to do them
the dishes so I didn’t have to do them it meant we could swear but only
it meant we could swear but only
it meant we could swear but only occasionally and I won’t tell you what
occasionally and I won’t tell you what
occasionally and I won’t tell you what that was it also meant that we had to
that was it also meant that we had to
that was it also meant that we had to get another freezer for our basement
get another freezer for our basement
get another freezer for our basement so we could fit all the lasagna our
so we could fit all the lasagna our
so we could fit all the lasagna our generous community was bringing us I
generous community was bringing us I
generous community was bringing us I mean we had lasagna every single night
mean we had lasagna every single night
mean we had lasagna every single night not really ask me how much I love
not really ask me how much I love
not really ask me how much I love lasagna today so at that point in my
lasagna today so at that point in my
lasagna today so at that point in my life I was young and my mom went through
life I was young and my mom went through
life I was young and my mom went through a bilateral mastectomy reconstruction
a bilateral mastectomy reconstruction
a bilateral mastectomy reconstruction chemotherapy and then was cancer free
chemotherapy and then was cancer free
chemotherapy and then was cancer free even though I was 13 years old I did
even though I was 13 years old I did
even though I was 13 years old I did question why I was cancer as bad as mom
question why I was cancer as bad as mom
question why I was cancer as bad as mom said it was my mom was cancer free and
said it was my mom was cancer free and
said it was my mom was cancer free and she started a breast health nonprofit
she started a breast health nonprofit
she started a breast health nonprofit and for seven years we celebrated then
and for seven years we celebrated then
and for seven years we celebrated then in May of my sophomore year at the
in May of my sophomore year at the
in May of my sophomore year at the University of Virginia
University of Virginia
University of Virginia I was training for n-c-double-a
I was training for n-c-double-a
I was training for n-c-double-a Championships competing for the rowing
Championships competing for the rowing
Championships competing for the rowing team and getting a spot on the varsity
team and getting a spot on the varsity
team and getting a spot on the varsity team that would compete against some of
team that would compete against some of
team that would compete against some of the fastest teams in the country in
the fastest teams in the country in
the fastest teams in the country in between three of the grueling practices
between three of the grueling practices
between three of the grueling practices my mom wanted to Skype so I took my
my mom wanted to Skype so I took my
my mom wanted to Skype so I took my protein shake went upstairs and when I
protein shake went upstairs and when I
protein shake went upstairs and when I accepted the Skype call I saw my brother
accepted the Skype call I saw my brother
accepted the Skype call I saw my brother my sister and my mom sitting around the
my sister and my mom sitting around the
my sister and my mom sitting around the kitchen table okay now that seemed a
kitchen table okay now that seemed a
kitchen table okay now that seemed a little fishy for a midday Skype session
little fishy for a midday Skype session
little fishy for a midday Skype session it triggered a flashback to all the
it triggered a flashback to all the
it triggered a flashback to all the family talks we had around that kitchen
family talks we had around that kitchen
family talks we had around that kitchen table Betsy I have stage 4 metastatic
table Betsy I have stage 4 metastatic
table Betsy I have stage 4 metastatic breast cancer and I will never be
breast cancer and I will never be
breast cancer and I will never be cancer-free what did this mean what was
cancer-free what did this mean what was
cancer-free what did this mean what was Stage four was there a stage five was
Stage four was there a stage five was
Stage four was there a stage five was she going to see me graduate or get
she going to see me graduate or get
she going to see me graduate or get married and have kids I didn’t know
married and have kids I didn’t know
married and have kids I didn’t know but I packed my bags headed back to
but I packed my bags headed back to
but I packed my bags headed back to Connecticut to spend the rest of the
Connecticut to spend the rest of the
Connecticut to spend the rest of the summer with her after that conversation
summer with her after that conversation
summer with her after that conversation we talked about death and dying a lot a
we talked about death and dying a lot a
we talked about death and dying a lot a lot a lot and to us we didn’t want to
lot a lot and to us we didn’t want to
lot a lot and to us we didn’t want to waste any time being unhappy so we just
waste any time being unhappy so we just
waste any time being unhappy so we just accepted it for us it meant five years
accepted it for us it meant five years
accepted it for us it meant five years of every Christmas could be the last
of every Christmas could be the last
of every Christmas could be the last Christmas every birthday could be the
Christmas every birthday could be the
Christmas every birthday could be the last birthday every summer solstice
last birthday every summer solstice
last birthday every summer solstice could be the last summer solstice it
could be the last summer solstice it
could be the last summer solstice it also meant five more years of lasagna to
also meant five more years of lasagna to
also meant five more years of lasagna to us this was something very tragic but we
us this was something very tragic but we
us this was something very tragic but we wanted to take control of what was
wanted to take control of what was
wanted to take control of what was happening in our lives we had a bucket
happening in our lives we had a bucket
happening in our lives we had a bucket list so we started working down that
list so we started working down that
list so we started working down that list one thing that was at the top of
list one thing that was at the top of
list one thing that was at the top of the list for me and my younger sister
the list for me and my younger sister
the list for me and my younger sister Mary was going wedding-dress shopping
Mary was going wedding-dress shopping
Mary was going wedding-dress shopping with my mom we were realistic and knew
with my mom we were realistic and knew
with my mom we were realistic and knew we weren’t going to have that special
we weren’t going to have that special
we weren’t going to have that special day with our mom so one day in 2013 my
day with our mom so one day in 2013 my
day with our mom so one day in 2013 my mom drove me and my sister to Long
mom drove me and my sister to Long
mom drove me and my sister to Long Island and we tried on wedding dresses
Island and we tried on wedding dresses
Island and we tried on wedding dresses we actually kept this a huge secret
we actually kept this a huge secret
we actually kept this a huge secret because we were so far from marriage
because we were so far from marriage
because we were so far from marriage that I’m sure nobody would have
that I’m sure nobody would have
that I’m sure nobody would have understood where we were coming from and
understood where we were coming from and
understood where we were coming from and it was actually incredibly sad in morbid
it was actually incredibly sad in morbid
it was actually incredibly sad in morbid and who wants to talk about that so we
and who wants to talk about that so we
and who wants to talk about that so we get to the salon and we were really off
get to the salon and we were really off
get to the salon and we were really off to a rocky start my sister and I both
to a rocky start my sister and I both
to a rocky start my sister and I both wore black bras to try and white wedding
wore black bras to try and white wedding
wore black bras to try and white wedding dresses we didn’t even know how to put
dresses we didn’t even know how to put
dresses we didn’t even know how to put makeup on at that point in our lives and
makeup on at that point in our lives and
makeup on at that point in our lives and I can’t even recall if I brush my hair
I can’t even recall if I brush my hair
I can’t even recall if I brush my hair that day
that day
that day and while the day started off like that
and while the day started off like that
and while the day started off like that it ended with us trying on some
it ended with us trying on some
it ended with us trying on some beautiful wedding dresses in toasting
beautiful wedding dresses in toasting
beautiful wedding dresses in toasting with pink champagne
with pink champagne
with pink champagne everyone at the salon was so saddened
everyone at the salon was so saddened
everyone at the salon was so saddened and upset by her story but to us it was
and upset by her story but to us it was
and upset by her story but to us it was like any other day when I was in grad
like any other day when I was in grad
like any other day when I was in grad school I was my mom’s primary caretaker
school I was my mom’s primary caretaker
school I was my mom’s primary caretaker so I went to chemo every week with her
so I went to chemo every week with her
so I went to chemo every week with her and became very close with all the women
and became very close with all the women
and became very close with all the women who were receiving treatment around my
who were receiving treatment around my
who were receiving treatment around my mom
mom
mom most of these women tested positive for
most of these women tested positive for
most of these women tested positive for the braket genetic mutation also known
the braket genetic mutation also known
the braket genetic mutation also known as the breast cancer gene my mom tested
as the breast cancer gene my mom tested
as the breast cancer gene my mom tested negative for that and actually went to
negative for that and actually went to
negative for that and actually went to Turkey for 10 days to pray about those
Turkey for 10 days to pray about those
Turkey for 10 days to pray about those results she was so nervous about what
results she was so nervous about what
results she was so nervous about what that meant for me and my younger sister
that meant for me and my younger sister
that meant for me and my younger sister and my younger brother the braket
and my younger brother the braket
and my younger brother the braket genetic mutation is a is a the breast
genetic mutation is a is a the breast
genetic mutation is a is a the breast cancer gene it means you have a higher
cancer gene it means you have a higher
cancer gene it means you have a higher risk for breast and ovarian cancer some
risk for breast and ovarian cancer some
risk for breast and ovarian cancer some women choose to wait and watch and other
women choose to wait and watch and other
women choose to wait and watch and other women other women choose to
women other women choose to
women other women choose to prophylactically remove their breasts
prophylactically remove their breasts
prophylactically remove their breasts and/or ovaries I was inspired by these
and/or ovaries I was inspired by these
and/or ovaries I was inspired by these women taking their health into their own
women taking their health into their own
women taking their health into their own hands and wrote my thesis on the braket
hands and wrote my thesis on the braket
hands and wrote my thesis on the braket genetic mutation I needed money at that
genetic mutation I needed money at that
genetic mutation I needed money at that point in grad school so I applied to
point in grad school so I applied to
point in grad school so I applied to work for the get in touch foundation
work for the get in touch foundation
work for the get in touch foundation because my mom needed some office help
because my mom needed some office help
because my mom needed some office help and I was pretty qualified since I had
and I was pretty qualified since I had
and I was pretty qualified since I had been volunteering with them my whole
been volunteering with them my whole
been volunteering with them my whole life
life
life for 13 years when my mom was first
for 13 years when my mom was first
for 13 years when my mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer she sat me
diagnosed with breast cancer she sat me
diagnosed with breast cancer she sat me and my younger sister down and taught us
and my younger sister down and taught us
and my younger sister down and taught us how to do a breast self-exam
how to do a breast self-exam
how to do a breast self-exam she wanted us to be armed and equipped
she wanted us to be armed and equipped
she wanted us to be armed and equipped with the information we needed to be
with the information we needed to be
with the information we needed to be strong just like she was she had been
strong just like she was she had been
strong just like she was she had been doing breast self-exams her whole life
doing breast self-exams her whole life
doing breast self-exams her whole life and when she found a lump on her breast
and when she found a lump on her breast
and when she found a lump on her breast she went to the doctor and when he said
she went to the doctor and when he said
she went to the doctor and when he said don’t worry about it come back in a year
don’t worry about it come back in a year
don’t worry about it come back in a year I don’t think it’s anything she knew to
I don’t think it’s anything she knew to
I don’t think it’s anything she knew to question that she was so comfortable
question that she was so comfortable
question that she was so comfortable with her body that she was able to
with her body that she was able to
with her body that she was able to challenge that doctors I think it might
challenge that doctors I think it might
challenge that doctors I think it might not be cancer well my mom said are you
not be cancer well my mom said are you
not be cancer well my mom said are you willing to bet your testicles on that
willing to bet your testicles on that
willing to bet your testicles on that and he wasn’t so prior to 2004 there was
and he wasn’t so prior to 2004 there was
and he wasn’t so prior to 2004 there was no program that existed that taught
no program that existed that taught
no program that existed that taught young girls how to do breast self-exams
young girls how to do breast self-exams
young girls how to do breast self-exams so my mom started to get InTouch
so my mom started to get InTouch
so my mom started to get InTouch foundation the get InTouch foundation is
foundation the get InTouch foundation is
foundation the get InTouch foundation is a global breast health nonprofit that
a global breast health nonprofit that
a global breast health nonprofit that teaches all about the importance of
teaches all about the importance of
teaches all about the importance of breast health they have a program
breast health they have a program
breast health they have a program an innovative tool called the Daisy
an innovative tool called the Daisy
an innovative tool called the Daisy wheel that has eight tips on how to do a
wheel that has eight tips on how to do a
wheel that has eight tips on how to do a breast self-exam and it’s free to
breast self-exam and it’s free to
breast self-exam and it’s free to schools all around the world and is
schools all around the world and is
schools all around the world and is recommended for grades 5 through 12
recommended for grades 5 through 12
recommended for grades 5 through 12 what’s awesome about this wheel is that
what’s awesome about this wheel is that
what’s awesome about this wheel is that it teaches young girls to be their own
it teaches young girls to be their own
it teaches young girls to be their own health advocates I think health is
health advocates I think health is
health advocates I think health is important I don’t have cancer so I can’t
important I don’t have cancer so I can’t
important I don’t have cancer so I can’t speak on behalf of my mom or any other
speak on behalf of my mom or any other
speak on behalf of my mom or any other cancer survivor for so long I’ve been
cancer survivor for so long I’ve been
cancer survivor for so long I’ve been telling my mom’s story and it wasn’t
telling my mom’s story and it wasn’t
telling my mom’s story and it wasn’t until recently I started to tell my own
until recently I started to tell my own
until recently I started to tell my own and talk about my passion for breast
and talk about my passion for breast
and talk about my passion for breast health education empowerment and
health education empowerment and
health education empowerment and knowledge
my mom passed away a year ago and the
my mom passed away a year ago and the Board of Directors asked me to step up
Board of Directors asked me to step up
Board of Directors asked me to step up as president of the get InTouch
as president of the get InTouch
as president of the get InTouch Foundation I could not have imagined
Foundation I could not have imagined
Foundation I could not have imagined anything else and have been honored to
anything else and have been honored to
anything else and have been honored to carry out my mom’s life-giving mission
carry out my mom’s life-giving mission
carry out my mom’s life-giving mission and legacy with the organization breast
and legacy with the organization breast
and legacy with the organization breast cancer is the second leading cause for
cancer is the second leading cause for
cancer is the second leading cause for cancer deaths and women in the United
cancer deaths and women in the United
cancer deaths and women in the United States and Connecticut has the highest
States and Connecticut has the highest
States and Connecticut has the highest breast cancer rates in the country
breast cancer rates in the country
breast cancer rates in the country although we have the highest breast
although we have the highest breast
although we have the highest breast cancer rates in the country our
cancer rates in the country our
cancer rates in the country our mortality rates are decreasing and
mortality rates are decreasing and
mortality rates are decreasing and that’s partly due to improved treatment
that’s partly due to improved treatment
that’s partly due to improved treatment and early detection with breast cancer
and early detection with breast cancer
and early detection with breast cancer my mom had been doing breast self-exams
my mom had been doing breast self-exams
my mom had been doing breast self-exams her whole life so when she found her
her whole life so when she found her
her whole life so when she found her breast cancer early on she was able to
breast cancer early on she was able to
breast cancer early on she was able to have it treated early and because she
have it treated early and because she
have it treated early and because she was able to treat it early I had 13
was able to treat it early I had 13
was able to treat it early I had 13 years with her after that first
years with her after that first
years with her after that first diagnosis I’m not selling you a product
diagnosis I’m not selling you a product
diagnosis I’m not selling you a product or asking to spend a scan you to spend
or asking to spend a scan you to spend
or asking to spend a scan you to spend your money or hours of your time doing
your money or hours of your time doing
your money or hours of your time doing something I’m asking you to be familiar
something I’m asking you to be familiar
something I’m asking you to be familiar with your body and know what your
with your body and know what your
with your body and know what your breasts normally look and feel like and
breasts normally look and feel like and
breasts normally look and feel like and if anything changes to speak up and talk
if anything changes to speak up and talk
if anything changes to speak up and talk to a healthcare provider it often takes
to a healthcare provider it often takes
to a healthcare provider it often takes a time of tragedy and a freezer full of
a time of tragedy and a freezer full of
a time of tragedy and a freezer full of lasagna to help you with these
lasagna to help you with these
lasagna to help you with these realizations we shouldn’t be waiting for
realizations we shouldn’t be waiting for
realizations we shouldn’t be waiting for a tragedy we should be action-oriented
a tragedy we should be action-oriented
a tragedy we should be action-oriented and already doing it so I encourage you
and already doing it so I encourage you
and already doing it so I encourage you to do your breast self-exams thank you
”
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