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Why A Big Ego Gets A Bad Rap | Frankie Curreri Forza | TEDxUniversityofNevada


[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

so bullying is a big problem and we have

so bullying is a big problem and we have way too much of it here in the United

way too much of it here in the United

way too much of it here in the United States and and yet being bullied as a

States and and yet being bullied as a

States and and yet being bullied as a teenager launched my career the fists

teenager launched my career the fists

teenager launched my career the fists the humiliations the threats started a

the humiliations the threats started a

the humiliations the threats started a domino effect I started studying

domino effect I started studying

domino effect I started studying Brazilian Jiu Jitsu wrestling boxing and

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu wrestling boxing and

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu wrestling boxing and it led me to Las Vegas the fight capital

it led me to Las Vegas the fight capital

it led me to Las Vegas the fight capital the world where I worked for the

the world where I worked for the

the world where I worked for the Ultimate Fighting Championship

Ultimate Fighting Championship

Ultimate Fighting Championship I was the Ultimate Fighting Championship

I was the Ultimate Fighting Championship

I was the Ultimate Fighting Championship I got to interview hundreds of elite

I got to interview hundreds of elite

I got to interview hundreds of elite cage fighters Raw on you know filtered

cage fighters Raw on you know filtered

cage fighters Raw on you know filtered fascinating minds and the more I picked

fascinating minds and the more I picked

fascinating minds and the more I picked their brains the more one pearl of

their brains the more one pearl of

their brains the more one pearl of wisdom surfaced again and again fighting

wisdom surfaced again and again fighting

wisdom surfaced again and again fighting is 90% mental now the fighting gene is

is 90% mental now the fighting gene is

is 90% mental now the fighting gene is wired into each of us we all have fights

wired into each of us we all have fights

wired into each of us we all have fights and at some point life’s gonna try to

and at some point life’s gonna try to

and at some point life’s gonna try to hit you upside the head with a steel

hit you upside the head with a steel

hit you upside the head with a steel chair it’s gonna poke you in the eye

chair it’s gonna poke you in the eye

chair it’s gonna poke you in the eye he’s gonna try to bust you in the mouth

he’s gonna try to bust you in the mouth

he’s gonna try to bust you in the mouth and the best solution that usually is

and the best solution that usually is

and the best solution that usually is from the neck up and so we might all ask

from the neck up and so we might all ask

from the neck up and so we might all ask ourselves what am i doing on a daily

ourselves what am i doing on a daily

ourselves what am i doing on a daily basis to exercise my mind tool and it

basis to exercise my mind tool and it

basis to exercise my mind tool and it reminds me a few years back there was a

reminds me a few years back there was a

reminds me a few years back there was a gentleman named Immanuel Stewart

gentleman named Immanuel Stewart

gentleman named Immanuel Stewart Emmanuel Stewart was a legendary boxing

Emmanuel Stewart was a legendary boxing

Emmanuel Stewart was a legendary boxing trainer he’s dead now legendary boxing

trainer he’s dead now legendary boxing

trainer he’s dead now legendary boxing trainer 40 plus world champions I’d

trainer 40 plus world champions I’d

trainer 40 plus world champions I’d waited a long time to get him I’ve got

waited a long time to get him I’ve got

waited a long time to get him I’ve got him on the phone

him on the phone

him on the phone 20 minutes in I asked him the most

20 minutes in I asked him the most

20 minutes in I asked him the most important question all the world

important question all the world

important question all the world champions are worked with what’s the one

champions are worked with what’s the one

champions are worked with what’s the one trait the one characteristic they all

trait the one characteristic they all

trait the one characteristic they all had and Stuart’s a lot more soft-spoken

had and Stuart’s a lot more soft-spoken

had and Stuart’s a lot more soft-spoken than I am real soft-spoken guy he said

than I am real soft-spoken guy he said

than I am real soft-spoken guy he said palsy said uh a big ego they all had a

palsy said uh a big ego they all had a

palsy said uh a big ego they all had a big ego and I wanted to leap out of my

big ego and I wanted to leap out of my

big ego and I wanted to leap out of my chair I’m in the UFC offices by myself

chair I’m in the UFC offices by myself

chair I’m in the UFC offices by myself when to leap out because it it confirmed

when to leap out because it it confirmed

when to leap out because it it confirmed a conviction I had for years I trained

a conviction I had for years I trained

a conviction I had for years I trained in Brazilian jiu-jitsu nine years 3000

in Brazilian jiu-jitsu nine years 3000

in Brazilian jiu-jitsu nine years 3000 plus hours to get a black belt I

plus hours to get a black belt I

plus hours to get a black belt I interview 20,000 plus people as a

interview 20,000 plus people as a

interview 20,000 plus people as a journalist as a writer and kept all

journalist as a writer and kept all

journalist as a writer and kept all these high performers I kept seeing man

these high performers I kept seeing man

these high performers I kept seeing man could it be that a big ego gets a bad

could it be that a big ego gets a bad

could it be that a big ego gets a bad rap right could it be and so I have kind

rap right could it be and so I have kind

rap right could it be and so I have kind of a soft spot I’ve competed hundreds of

of a soft spot I’ve competed hundreds of

of a soft spot I’ve competed hundreds of tournaments I know what it takes I know

tournaments I know what it takes I know

tournaments I know what it takes I know what it takes mentally and I have a soft

what it takes mentally and I have a soft

what it takes mentally and I have a soft spot for say someone like Ronda Rousey

spot for say someone like Ronda Rousey

spot for say someone like Ronda Rousey career didn’t end that well a lot of

career didn’t end that well a lot of

career didn’t end that well a lot of people laughed and mocked her but I get

people laughed and mocked her but I get

people laughed and mocked her but I get it I get why she said you know she had

it I get why she said you know she had

it I get why she said you know she had this angry swag persona I get why she

this angry swag persona I get why she

this angry swag persona I get why she faced the reports and look you guys call

faced the reports and look you guys call

faced the reports and look you guys call me cocky you call me arrogant but the

me cocky you call me arrogant but the

me cocky you call me arrogant but the thing is how dare you think I should

thing is how dare you think I should

thing is how dare you think I should think less of myself do you know what it

think less of myself do you know what it

think less of myself do you know what it takes to go out there Cristiano Ronaldo

takes to go out there Cristiano Ronaldo

takes to go out there Cristiano Ronaldo reporters ask them are you the best

reporters ask them are you the best

reporters ask them are you the best soccer player in the world said I’m not

soccer player in the world said I’m not

soccer player in the world said I’m not the best now I’m the best ever Dan Gable

the best now I’m the best ever Dan Gable

the best now I’m the best ever Dan Gable mr. intensity mister I cut wrestling

mr. intensity mister I cut wrestling

mr. intensity mister I cut wrestling icon

icon

icon you know hardest sport in the world

you know hardest sport in the world

you know hardest sport in the world arguably wrestling he said some wrestle

arguably wrestling he said some wrestle

arguably wrestling he said some wrestle without great skill none wrestle without

without great skill none wrestle without

without great skill none wrestle without pride ESPN ranks number one athlete of

pride ESPN ranks number one athlete of

pride ESPN ranks number one athlete of all time in any sport and it’s the guy

all time in any sport and it’s the guy

all time in any sport and it’s the guy with the biggest mouth and the biggest

with the biggest mouth and the biggest

with the biggest mouth and the biggest ego

ego

ego Muhammad Ali maybe a connection there so

Muhammad Ali maybe a connection there so

Muhammad Ali maybe a connection there so you think I know that we have to be

you think I know that we have to be

you think I know that we have to be careful that you have this big ego

careful that you have this big ego

careful that you have this big ego fright train and it’s destined to crash

fright train and it’s destined to crash

fright train and it’s destined to crash and burn and we all see that that’s in

and burn and we all see that that’s in

and burn and we all see that that’s in our head right so obviously it’s wise to

our head right so obviously it’s wise to

our head right so obviously it’s wise to hedge that ego with humility and the

hedge that ego with humility and the

hedge that ego with humility and the problem with humility is we’ve done a

problem with humility is we’ve done a

problem with humility is we’ve done a poor job defining what humility is how

poor job defining what humility is how

poor job defining what humility is how do you aim for something how do you do

do you aim for something how do you do

do you aim for something how do you do something that’s so poorly defined

something that’s so poorly defined

something that’s so poorly defined humility you know being introverted no

humility you know being introverted no

humility you know being introverted no offense if you’re introverted it’s not

offense if you’re introverted it’s not

offense if you’re introverted it’s not humility being shy is not humility being

humility being shy is not humility being

humility being shy is not humility being not doing something because you’re

not doing something because you’re

not doing something because you’re scared what do other people think is not

scared what do other people think is not

scared what do other people think is not humility feigning humility faking it

humility feigning humility faking it

humility feigning humility faking it repressing it is not humility humility

repressing it is not humility humility

repressing it is not humility humility requires the presence of I know my power

requires the presence of I know my power

requires the presence of I know my power I’m aware of the power half I’m

I’m aware of the power half I’m

I’m aware of the power half I’m confidence that’s human you know that’s

confidence that’s human you know that’s

confidence that’s human you know that’s a start

a start

a start point four humility humility is when

point four humility humility is when

point four humility humility is when you’re in a fight and you’re the nail

you’re in a fight and you’re the nail

you’re in a fight and you’re the nail and you fight as hard as you do as you

and you fight as hard as you do as you

and you fight as hard as you do as you can well you would if you were the

can well you would if you were the

can well you would if you were the hammer so humility is you’re a black

hammer so humility is you’re a black

hammer so humility is you’re a black belt you’re an expert and you humble

belt you’re an expert and you humble

belt you’re an expert and you humble yourself you look at things through a

yourself you look at things through a

yourself you look at things through a white belt rookies eyes and you see you

white belt rookies eyes and you see you

white belt rookies eyes and you see you realize how many things you don’t know

realize how many things you don’t know

realize how many things you don’t know in the universe

in the universe

in the universe humility is this incredible freedom it

humility is this incredible freedom it

humility is this incredible freedom it is this it’s it’s not being concerned

is this it’s it’s not being concerned

is this it’s it’s not being concerned with what people think so you’re just

with what people think so you’re just

with what people think so you’re just free to be and humility to me I think

free to be and humility to me I think

free to be and humility to me I think nobody gets to pick their parents nobody

nobody gets to pick their parents nobody

nobody gets to pick their parents nobody gets to pick the zip code right nobody

gets to pick the zip code right nobody

gets to pick the zip code right nobody gets to pick I want to live in Beverly

gets to pick I want to live in Beverly

gets to pick I want to live in Beverly Hills or versus the war zone in Iraq or

Hills or versus the war zone in Iraq or

Hills or versus the war zone in Iraq or Syria nobody gets to pick that humility

Syria nobody gets to pick that humility

Syria nobody gets to pick that humility is an awareness of a oneness that I see

is an awareness of a oneness that I see

is an awareness of a oneness that I see other people and I recognize you know

other people and I recognize you know

other people and I recognize you know that would be me if that would be me if

that would be me if that would be me if

that would be me if that would be me if I was born the same birth date to the

I was born the same birth date to the

I was born the same birth date to the same parents in the same zip code in the

same parents in the same zip code in the

same parents in the same zip code in the same environment with the same genes you

same environment with the same genes you

same environment with the same genes you connect more people you read that would

connect more people you read that would

connect more people you read that would be me if there but for the grace of God

be me if there but for the grace of God

be me if there but for the grace of God go I and so I think with this with this

go I and so I think with this with this

go I and so I think with this with this ego spectrum this ego continuum I have a

ego spectrum this ego continuum I have a

ego spectrum this ego continuum I have a mathematical equation for it and it’s C

mathematical equation for it and it’s C

mathematical equation for it and it’s C equals b e+ h u confidence equals big

equals b e+ h u confidence equals big

equals b e+ h u confidence equals big ego plus humility and you’re constantly

ego plus humility and you’re constantly

ego plus humility and you’re constantly if you’re doing it right it’s like this

if you’re doing it right it’s like this

if you’re doing it right it’s like this serf thing i have where you’re

serf thing i have where you’re

serf thing i have where you’re constantly trying to back to tight rope

constantly trying to back to tight rope

constantly trying to back to tight rope you’re going to get tested and i think

you’re going to get tested and i think

you’re going to get tested and i think of the ego as this mansion in your mind

of the ego as this mansion in your mind

of the ego as this mansion in your mind right this big vast mansions got a

right this big vast mansions got a

right this big vast mansions got a hundred rooms in it and so many people

hundred rooms in it and so many people

hundred rooms in it and so many people spend time in three or four or five of

spend time in three or four or five of

spend time in three or four or five of the rooms and the safe i’m humble I’m

the rooms and the safe i’m humble I’m

the rooms and the safe i’m humble I’m here I’ve got a big ego I don’t back it

here I’ve got a big ego I don’t back it

here I’ve got a big ego I don’t back it up with hard work or anything but I’m

up with hard work or anything but I’m

up with hard work or anything but I’m here and yap yap-yap

here and yap yap-yap

here and yap yap-yap instead of getting out and saying i got

instead of getting out and saying i got

instead of getting out and saying i got to go to the whole spectrum i got to

to go to the whole spectrum i got to

to go to the whole spectrum i got to play with this don’t just follow the

play with this don’t just follow the

play with this don’t just follow the narrative big egos bad because I can

narrative big egos bad because I can

narrative big egos bad because I can show you high performers they ain’t

show you high performers they ain’t

show you high performers they ain’t kidding they’re Austin Rivers in the NBA

kidding they’re Austin Rivers in the NBA

kidding they’re Austin Rivers in the NBA said look I’m cocky I got a chip on my

said look I’m cocky I got a chip on my

said look I’m cocky I got a chip on my shoulder and I wouldn’t be in the NBA if

shoulder and I wouldn’t be in the NBA if

shoulder and I wouldn’t be in the NBA if I didn’t have that and he’s probably

I didn’t have that and he’s probably

I didn’t have that and he’s probably right

right

right and I grew up in you know seven

and I grew up in you know seven

and I grew up in you know seven different families eleven schools and

different families eleven schools and

different families eleven schools and when trust me nobody volunteers

when trust me nobody volunteers

when trust me nobody volunteers sometimes to be your biggest cheerleader

sometimes to be your biggest cheerleader

sometimes to be your biggest cheerleader nobody does nobody nobody volunteers

nobody does nobody nobody volunteers

nobody does nobody nobody volunteers guess who it falls on to do that to get

guess who it falls on to do that to get

guess who it falls on to do that to get you out of spots it falls on you so I

you out of spots it falls on you so I

you out of spots it falls on you so I think I understand the fighters the high

think I understand the fighters the high

think I understand the fighters the high performers who say look this vociferous

performers who say look this vociferous

performers who say look this vociferous voice why do I need it if you’re there

voice why do I need it if you’re there

voice why do I need it if you’re there I’ve competed American nationals I

I’ve competed American nationals I

I’ve competed American nationals I compete at World Championships I’ve been

compete at World Championships I’ve been

compete at World Championships I’ve been behind the stage at the UFC and I’ve

behind the stage at the UFC and I’ve

behind the stage at the UFC and I’ve seen the fear that in circles even the

seen the fear that in circles even the

seen the fear that in circles even the best of the best the doubts why am I

best of the best the doubts why am I

best of the best the doubts why am I here what if I lose what if I get hurt

here what if I lose what if I get hurt

here what if I lose what if I get hurt what if this what if that you have all

what if this what if that you have all

what if this what if that you have all these things racing through your head

these things racing through your head

these things racing through your head and you’re like you know one vociferous

and you’re like you know one vociferous

and you’re like you know one vociferous voice you have all these Y knots all

voice you have all these Y knots all

voice you have all these Y knots all these what could go wrong and then you

these what could go wrong and then you

these what could go wrong and then you have this one great why this one great

have this one great why this one great

have this one great why this one great why that says you know to all the ten

why that says you know to all the ten

why that says you know to all the ten thousand why not just goes in there and

thousand why not just goes in there and

thousand why not just goes in there and just wreck shop and says no no no we’re

just wreck shop and says no no no we’re

just wreck shop and says no no no we’re taking the mountain we’re doing what we

taking the mountain we’re doing what we

taking the mountain we’re doing what we said we’re gonna do and that’s it and

said we’re gonna do and that’s it and

said we’re gonna do and that’s it and you’re communicating that like an inner

you’re communicating that like an inner

you’re communicating that like an inner ollie you’re commanding your cells this

ollie you’re commanding your cells this

ollie you’re commanding your cells this is what you’re gonna do we’re not

is what you’re gonna do we’re not

is what you’re gonna do we’re not turning back now that’s the voice you

turning back now that’s the voice you

turning back now that’s the voice you need that receivers voice and I say to

need that receivers voice and I say to

need that receivers voice and I say to have that voice to have that one great

have that voice to have that one great

have that voice to have that one great why you need to know your purpose that’s

why you need to know your purpose that’s

why you need to know your purpose that’s the root of it what’s your purpose and

the root of it what’s your purpose and

the root of it what’s your purpose and people try to identify their purpose and

people try to identify their purpose and

people try to identify their purpose and they say oh well you know what do I love

they say oh well you know what do I love

they say oh well you know what do I love to do you know what makes me happy what

to do you know what makes me happy what

to do you know what makes me happy what would I do for free that doesn’t work

would I do for free that doesn’t work

would I do for free that doesn’t work for me and I don’t I think in general

for me and I don’t I think in general

for me and I don’t I think in general that’s a bad way to go but I think a

that’s a bad way to go but I think a

that’s a bad way to go but I think a better way to go about it is determining

better way to go about it is determining

better way to go about it is determining your purpose

your purpose

your purpose what would I suffer for what would I

what would I suffer for what would I

what would I suffer for what would I bleed for what would I limp for what

bleed for what would I limp for what

bleed for what would I limp for what would I crawl for what would I die for

would I crawl for what would I die for

would I crawl for what would I die for some people do some people are willing

some people do some people are willing

some people do some people are willing to die or shave years off their life to

to die or shave years off their life to

to die or shave years off their life to I’m gonna do X and they want to do it

I’m gonna do X and they want to do it

I’m gonna do X and they want to do it and humanity benefits from that so

and humanity benefits from that so

and humanity benefits from that so that’s the kind of voice that we’re

that’s the kind of voice that we’re

that’s the kind of voice that we’re talking about needing and a lot of

talking about needing and a lot of

talking about needing and a lot of people you know so many people I I do we

people you know so many people I I do we

people you know so many people I I do we just had a guy a couple weeks ago

just had a guy a couple weeks ago

just had a guy a couple weeks ago committed suicide a famous trainer in

committed suicide a famous trainer in

committed suicide a famous trainer in the fight sports him devastating I was

the fight sports him devastating I was

the fight sports him devastating I was writing my speech I couldn’t you know I

writing my speech I couldn’t you know I

writing my speech I couldn’t you know I could

could

could good right so many people are deflated

good right so many people are deflated

good right so many people are deflated and they’re depressed and they’re lonely

and they’re depressed and they’re lonely

and they’re depressed and they’re lonely and they feel unworthy you’re like what

and they feel unworthy you’re like what

and they feel unworthy you’re like what do you do to someone who feels that

do you do to someone who feels that

do you do to someone who feels that deflated a beautiful person smart person

deflated a beautiful person smart person

deflated a beautiful person smart person talented person what do you do well one

talented person what do you do well one

talented person what do you do well one thing you might do is inflate you might

thing you might do is inflate you might

thing you might do is inflate you might be like let you got pom-pom up got to

be like let you got pom-pom up got to

be like let you got pom-pom up got to build them up right build yourself up

build them up right build yourself up

build them up right build yourself up you build yourself up with the thing

you build yourself up with the thing

you build yourself up with the thing it’s free whether you’re broke you’re

it’s free whether you’re broke you’re

it’s free whether you’re broke you’re rich it’s free it’s your voice it’s a

rich it’s free it’s your voice it’s a

rich it’s free it’s your voice it’s a space when yours it’s free man

space when yours it’s free man

space when yours it’s free man so one thing you got no matter

so one thing you got no matter

so one thing you got no matter everything goes wrong around you you got

everything goes wrong around you you got

everything goes wrong around you you got that if you can use those weapons those

that if you can use those weapons those

that if you can use those weapons those mind tools and so I see so much of that

mind tools and so I see so much of that

mind tools and so I see so much of that deflation that is out there right now

deflation that is out there right now

deflation that is out there right now and I think why are people denying and

and I think why are people denying and

and I think why are people denying and depriving themselves there’s weapons

depriving themselves there’s weapons

depriving themselves there’s weapons there there’s mind tools even the ego

there there’s mind tools even the ego

there there’s mind tools even the ego thing reach for it there’s weapons out

thing reach for it there’s weapons out

thing reach for it there’s weapons out there for denying deprive yourself you

there for denying deprive yourself you

there for denying deprive yourself you go to the grave with great music in you

go to the grave with great music in you

go to the grave with great music in you you scratch the surface of your talent

you scratch the surface of your talent

you scratch the surface of your talent and guess what did denying and depriving

and guess what did denying and depriving

and guess what did denying and depriving society of your benefits and your

society of your benefits and your

society of your benefits and your maximum contributions that’s what people

maximum contributions that’s what people

maximum contributions that’s what people do it’s you’re not just the victim when

do it’s you’re not just the victim when

do it’s you’re not just the victim when you deny and deprive society is the

you deny and deprive society is the

you deny and deprive society is the victim and so some of these big ego

victim and so some of these big ego

victim and so some of these big ego people they roam where others dare not

people they roam where others dare not

people they roam where others dare not roam some of these some of them deserve

roam some of these some of them deserve

roam some of these some of them deserve respect and even if they don’t back it

respect and even if they don’t back it

respect and even if they don’t back it up at least they’re trying they’re

up at least they’re trying they’re

up at least they’re trying they’re saying look I want to squeeze everything

saying look I want to squeeze everything

saying look I want to squeeze everything out of me I want to do that so I would

out of me I want to do that so I would

out of me I want to do that so I would say now you know if a person feels

say now you know if a person feels

say now you know if a person feels deflated you might reach for those two

deflated you might reach for those two

deflated you might reach for those two mental superpowers you might reach from

mental superpowers you might reach from

mental superpowers you might reach from you might explore them get out there and

you might explore them get out there and

you might explore them get out there and the dimensions get away from you don’t

the dimensions get away from you don’t

the dimensions get away from you don’t divorce yourself from just the negative

divorce yourself from just the negative

divorce yourself from just the negative spirit size play around with it explore

spirit size play around with it explore

spirit size play around with it explore them exercise them and I hope you’ll

them exercise them and I hope you’ll

them exercise them and I hope you’ll find if you are in that deflated place

find if you are in that deflated place

find if you are in that deflated place and you do dare exaggerate and amplify

and you do dare exaggerate and amplify

and you do dare exaggerate and amplify what I hope you’ll find is that what I

what I hope you’ll find is that what I

what I hope you’ll find is that what I found is that you know doubling down on

found is that you know doubling down on

found is that you know doubling down on humility is always a beautiful thing

humility is always a beautiful thing

humility is always a beautiful thing it’s always a good idea but betting big

it’s always a good idea but betting big

it’s always a good idea but betting big on a big ego can move mountains – thank

on a big ego can move mountains – thank

on a big ego can move mountains – thank you

”

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