[Music] how many of you have been bullied in
how many of you have been bullied in
how many of you have been bullied in your life at some point or the other can
your life at some point or the other can
your life at some point or the other can I have a show of hands that’s a fair
I have a show of hands that’s a fair
I have a show of hands that’s a fair number thank you for sharing did you
number thank you for sharing did you
number thank you for sharing did you know that we can reduce the number of
know that we can reduce the number of
know that we can reduce the number of instances of bullying and actually work
instances of bullying and actually work
instances of bullying and actually work towards ending it with the way we’re
towards ending it with the way we’re
towards ending it with the way we’re changing the way we educate our children
changing the way we educate our children
changing the way we educate our children my name is Keeley Jai Kumar and I’m
my name is Keeley Jai Kumar and I’m
my name is Keeley Jai Kumar and I’m gonna talk to you about bullying and how
gonna talk to you about bullying and how
gonna talk to you about bullying and how we can effectively address bullying
we can effectively address bullying
we can effectively address bullying through peace education now a year and a
through peace education now a year and a
through peace education now a year and a half ago I was invited to teach a bunch
half ago I was invited to teach a bunch
half ago I was invited to teach a bunch of children of grade four a
of children of grade four a
of children of grade four a choreographed dance sequence as part of
choreographed dance sequence as part of
choreographed dance sequence as part of their annual day program and these
their annual day program and these
their annual day program and these children were a motley bunch you had
children were a motley bunch you had
children were a motley bunch you had every kind the noisy ones the quiet one
every kind the noisy ones the quiet one
every kind the noisy ones the quiet one the chatter boxes the mischief mongers
the chatter boxes the mischief mongers
the chatter boxes the mischief mongers the ones that loved to read in a corner
the ones that loved to read in a corner
the ones that loved to read in a corner and for some reason I still haven’t
and for some reason I still haven’t
and for some reason I still haven’t figured out almost all of them loved
figured out almost all of them loved
figured out almost all of them loved picking their nose now I did something
picking their nose now I did something
picking their nose now I did something when I was handling these children that
when I was handling these children that
when I was handling these children that I’m still guilty about and I tended to
I’m still guilty about and I tended to
I’m still guilty about and I tended to gravitate towards the few that I assumed
gravitate towards the few that I assumed
gravitate towards the few that I assumed had the energy to carry the dance
had the energy to carry the dance
had the energy to carry the dance forward and so in the process I ignored
forward and so in the process I ignored
forward and so in the process I ignored this tiny slip of a girl who almost
this tiny slip of a girl who almost
this tiny slip of a girl who almost always stood at the back of the class
always stood at the back of the class
always stood at the back of the class she was petite had a small frame had
she was petite had a small frame had
she was petite had a small frame had glistening eyes oily hair and little
glistening eyes oily hair and little
glistening eyes oily hair and little okra seeds for teeth she was a
okra seeds for teeth she was a
okra seeds for teeth she was a Wallflower if you will now on the last
Wallflower if you will now on the last
Wallflower if you will now on the last day after all our rehearsals had gotten
day after all our rehearsals had gotten
day after all our rehearsals had gotten done I was sitting with the children
done I was sitting with the children
done I was sitting with the children taking them through a few rules that
taking them through a few rules that
taking them through a few rules that they had to remember before going on
they had to remember before going on
they had to remember before going on stage and in the corner of my eye I
stage and in the corner of my eye I
stage and in the corner of my eye I noticed a boy jostling this little girl
noticed a boy jostling this little girl
noticed a boy jostling this little girl and in seconds she fell down almost
and in seconds she fell down almost
and in seconds she fell down almost immediately a teacher swooped in from a
immediately a teacher swooped in from a
immediately a teacher swooped in from a corner threw the boy aside and asked him
corner threw the boy aside and asked him
corner threw the boy aside and asked him if he remembered her warning her telling
if he remembered her warning her telling
if he remembered her warning her telling him not to do this again
him not to do this again
him not to do this again which meant this had happened before I
which meant this had happened before I
which meant this had happened before I drew the girl aside we sat down together
drew the girl aside we sat down together
drew the girl aside we sat down together on a staircase and both of us wasn’t
on a staircase and both of us wasn’t
on a staircase and both of us wasn’t communicating with words but a lot was
communicating with words but a lot was
communicating with words but a lot was said in silence I asked her if she was
said in silence I asked her if she was
said in silence I asked her if she was okay she nodded I asked if she wanted
okay she nodded I asked if she wanted
okay she nodded I asked if she wanted water she shook her head and we sat
water she shook her head and we sat
water she shook her head and we sat together for all of four minutes and in
together for all of four minutes and in
together for all of four minutes and in the fourth minute when she got up to
the fourth minute when she got up to
the fourth minute when she got up to leave I finally asked her the question
leave I finally asked her the question
leave I finally asked her the question that had been niggling at the bottom of
that had been niggling at the bottom of
that had been niggling at the bottom of throat does this happen to you every day
throat does this happen to you every day
throat does this happen to you every day she turned around looked at me and held
she turned around looked at me and held
she turned around looked at me and held my gears for all of a few seconds and
my gears for all of a few seconds and
my gears for all of a few seconds and nodded almost imperceptibly and in that
nodded almost imperceptibly and in that
nodded almost imperceptibly and in that second my heart sank as I watched her go
second my heart sank as I watched her go
second my heart sank as I watched her go back to class I felt a sense of guilt
back to class I felt a sense of guilt
back to class I felt a sense of guilt gripped me how could I let her go back
gripped me how could I let her go back
gripped me how could I let her go back to him to an environment where she would
to him to an environment where she would
to him to an environment where she would be subjected to bullying violence and a
be subjected to bullying violence and a
be subjected to bullying violence and a constant messaging that would tell her
constant messaging that would tell her
constant messaging that would tell her she was unworthy when I went back home
she was unworthy when I went back home
she was unworthy when I went back home that day I went back with a sense of
that day I went back with a sense of
that day I went back with a sense of dread the sense of disheartened ment of
dread the sense of disheartened ment of
dread the sense of disheartened ment of human not only for what I had seen that
human not only for what I had seen that
human not only for what I had seen that happened to the girl but also because
happened to the girl but also because
happened to the girl but also because she set me back to when I was a child of
she set me back to when I was a child of
she set me back to when I was a child of her age through my childhood as a high
her age through my childhood as a high
her age through my childhood as a high schooler as a college student bullied in
schooler as a college student bullied in
schooler as a college student bullied in one way or the other and she also made
one way or the other and she also made
one way or the other and she also made me think in the way that children make
me think in the way that children make
me think in the way that children make you think and there were so many
you think and there were so many
you think and there were so many questions in my mind we have an
questions in my mind we have an
questions in my mind we have an education system that is so busy making
education system that is so busy making
education system that is so busy making economy worthy individuals individuals
economy worthy individuals individuals
economy worthy individuals individuals who can add to the coffers of the world
who can add to the coffers of the world
who can add to the coffers of the world but how many of them are human how many
but how many of them are human how many
but how many of them are human how many of them have a sense of empathy so what
of them have a sense of empathy so what
of them have a sense of empathy so what if what if when we teach our children
if what if when we teach our children
if what if when we teach our children geography if we could walk the extra
geography if we could walk the extra
geography if we could walk the extra mile and teach them that the world’s
mile and teach them that the world’s
mile and teach them that the world’s many ethnicities are equal and none is
many ethnicities are equal and none is
many ethnicities are equal and none is inferior or superior to the other what
inferior or superior to the other what
inferior or superior to the other what if when we teach our children history we
if when we teach our children history we
if when we teach our children history we stop a moment and tell them that the
stop a moment and tell them that the
stop a moment and tell them that the words never again were actually uttered
words never again were actually uttered
words never again were actually uttered for a reason what if when we’re teaching
for a reason what if when we’re teaching
for a reason what if when we’re teaching our children the rules of grammar syntax
our children the rules of grammar syntax
our children the rules of grammar syntax communication English whatever other
communication English whatever other
communication English whatever other language we also slipped in a little
language we also slipped in a little
language we also slipped in a little lesson on nonviolent communication and
lesson on nonviolent communication and
lesson on nonviolent communication and taught them the art of empathetic
taught them the art of empathetic
taught them the art of empathetic communication what if when we teach our
communication what if when we teach our
communication what if when we teach our children the humanities sociology
children the humanities sociology
children the humanities sociology anthropology psychology whatever we also
anthropology psychology whatever we also
anthropology psychology whatever we also taught them the value of a bun – I am
taught them the value of a bun – I am
taught them the value of a bun – I am Who I am because of who we are together
Who I am because of who we are together
Who I am because of who we are together I spent a lot of time doing my own
I spent a lot of time doing my own
I spent a lot of time doing my own research I had seen a problem I didn’t
research I had seen a problem I didn’t
research I had seen a problem I didn’t want to be part of the problem I wanted
want to be part of the problem I wanted
want to be part of the problem I wanted to be part of the solution with all the
to be part of the solution with all the
to be part of the solution with all the research that I could find I put
research that I could find I put
research that I could find I put together a curriculum of my own one
together a curriculum of my own one
together a curriculum of my own one woman one laptop one big audacious dream
woman one laptop one big audacious dream
woman one laptop one big audacious dream I wanted to end bullying I didn’t have
I wanted to end bullying I didn’t have
I wanted to end bullying I didn’t have access to the same children that I
access to the same children that I
access to the same children that I taught dance to for various reasons but
taught dance to for various reasons but
taught dance to for various reasons but I picked the brain of a friend who often
I picked the brain of a friend who often
I picked the brain of a friend who often talked to me about a class she taught
talked to me about a class she taught
talked to me about a class she taught where bullying was a problem
where bullying was a problem
where bullying was a problem particularly between a boy and a girl so
particularly between a boy and a girl so
particularly between a boy and a girl so two weeks later I found myself with my
two weeks later I found myself with my
two weeks later I found myself with my rudimentary curriculum in hand
rudimentary curriculum in hand
rudimentary curriculum in hand smack Center with 20 children around me
smack Center with 20 children around me
smack Center with 20 children around me said bully and bullied in tow now we
said bully and bullied in tow now we
said bully and bullied in tow now we talk together we talked about themes of
talk together we talked about themes of
talk together we talked about themes of non-violent communication of diversity
non-violent communication of diversity
non-violent communication of diversity of mutual respect of tolerance of just
of mutual respect of tolerance of just
of mutual respect of tolerance of just being Equalists and you know children
being Equalists and you know children
being Equalists and you know children are also very smart they know how to
are also very smart they know how to
are also very smart they know how to tell you exactly what you want to hear
tell you exactly what you want to hear
tell you exactly what you want to hear and so I decided to be one step smarter
and so I decided to be one step smarter
and so I decided to be one step smarter I decided that I would do a dip check
I decided that I would do a dip check
I decided that I would do a dip check and get the children to share their
and get the children to share their
and get the children to share their stories and I touched a raw nerve when I
stories and I touched a raw nerve when I
stories and I touched a raw nerve when I brought the word bully up through the
brought the word bully up through the
brought the word bully up through the entire session the girl that was bullied
entire session the girl that was bullied
entire session the girl that was bullied remained quiet but when I asked them if
remained quiet but when I asked them if
remained quiet but when I asked them if anybody wanted to share a story she was
anybody wanted to share a story she was
anybody wanted to share a story she was the first one to put her hand up and so
the first one to put her hand up and so
the first one to put her hand up and so I welcomed her to the center of the
I welcomed her to the center of the
I welcomed her to the center of the class and please Mayer in mind that she
class and please Mayer in mind that she
class and please Mayer in mind that she was incredibly quiet but this moment
was incredibly quiet but this moment
was incredibly quiet but this moment with her she looked at everybody in the
with her she looked at everybody in the
with her she looked at everybody in the eye and started sharing her story she
eye and started sharing her story she
eye and started sharing her story she told everybody that she was from a
told everybody that she was from a
told everybody that she was from a broken home her father was an incredibly
broken home her father was an incredibly
broken home her father was an incredibly violent man he would beat her mother and
violent man he would beat her mother and
violent man he would beat her mother and to save her mother this little girl
to save her mother this little girl
to save her mother this little girl would find a way to force herself
would find a way to force herself
would find a way to force herself between them sometimes being brutally
between them sometimes being brutally
between them sometimes being brutally beaten shoved aside pushed and between
beaten shoved aside pushed and between
beaten shoved aside pushed and between dressing with full sleeve clothes that
dressing with full sleeve clothes that
dressing with full sleeve clothes that showing up in school and staying quiet
showing up in school and staying quiet
showing up in school and staying quiet because processing all of this was
because processing all of this was
because processing all of this was incredibly tough she became a victim of
incredibly tough she became a victim of
incredibly tough she became a victim of her own silence and very easily the
her own silence and very easily the
her own silence and very easily the victim of bullying and she didn’t stop
victim of bullying and she didn’t stop
victim of bullying and she didn’t stop there she spoke to the bully straight on
there she spoke to the bully straight on
there she spoke to the bully straight on and said when you do this to me you put
and said when you do this to me you put
and said when you do this to me you put me in a terrible situation now somewhere
me in a terrible situation now somewhere
me in a terrible situation now somewhere in the middle of this narration her eyes
in the middle of this narration her eyes
in the middle of this narration her eyes had welled up but by the end of it she
had welled up but by the end of it she
had welled up but by the end of it she was sobbing and through my own water
was sobbing and through my own water
was sobbing and through my own water curtain of tears when I looked up at her
curtain of tears when I looked up at her
curtain of tears when I looked up at her I also noticed from the corner of my eye
I also noticed from the corner of my eye
I also noticed from the corner of my eye the boy that bullied her had gotten out
the boy that bullied her had gotten out
the boy that bullied her had gotten out of his
of his
of his it they took great strides towards her
it they took great strides towards her
it they took great strides towards her and he gave her a hug I let the two of
and he gave her a hug I let the two of
and he gave her a hug I let the two of them remain in that space just to share
them remain in that space just to share
them remain in that space just to share that moment and when they broke the boy
that moment and when they broke the boy
that moment and when they broke the boy asked me if he could share something now
asked me if he could share something now
asked me if he could share something now with the consent of the girl to ensure
with the consent of the girl to ensure
with the consent of the girl to ensure that she’d finishing and seeing what she
that she’d finishing and seeing what she
that she’d finishing and seeing what she had to see I asked the boy to begin and
had to see I asked the boy to begin and
had to see I asked the boy to begin and he said something that shocked me he
he said something that shocked me he
he said something that shocked me he said he was going through the exact same
said he was going through the exact same
said he was going through the exact same thing he was from a broken home his
thing he was from a broken home his
thing he was from a broken home his father was incredibly violent he would
father was incredibly violent he would
father was incredibly violent he would beat his mother and this boy to save his
beat his mother and this boy to save his
beat his mother and this boy to save his mother would put himself in between the
mother would put himself in between the
mother would put himself in between the two of them sometimes being beaten
two of them sometimes being beaten
two of them sometimes being beaten shoved and pushed but the difference
shoved and pushed but the difference
shoved and pushed but the difference here was that this boy had realized
here was that this boy had realized
here was that this boy had realized something had been taken away from him
something had been taken away from him
something had been taken away from him with his father’s violent wills
with his father’s violent wills
with his father’s violent wills and he decided to Don the same cape to
and he decided to Don the same cape to
and he decided to Don the same cape to take back what he had lost in that
take back what he had lost in that
take back what he had lost in that session 21 lives changed the bully and
session 21 lives changed the bully and
session 21 lives changed the bully and the bullied became the best of friends
the bullied became the best of friends
the bullied became the best of friends and today pay forward with the learning
and today pay forward with the learning
and today pay forward with the learning they gained to the very children of the
they gained to the very children of the
they gained to the very children of the same age that they were at when they had
same age that they were at when they had
same age that they were at when they had the realization 18 other children
the realization 18 other children
the realization 18 other children understood how Sandow plays out in real
understood how Sandow plays out in real
understood how Sandow plays out in real life that every face every name has a
life that every face every name has a
life that every face every name has a story behind it and you walk the extra
story behind it and you walk the extra
story behind it and you walk the extra mile to be compassionate about that and
mile to be compassionate about that and
mile to be compassionate about that and the 21st person she started with one
the 21st person she started with one
the 21st person she started with one dream and she has one story to share
dream and she has one story to share
dream and she has one story to share with you today I went back home with all
with you today I went back home with all
with you today I went back home with all of these ideas mulling over it thinking
of these ideas mulling over it thinking
of these ideas mulling over it thinking about ways to operationalize this and
about ways to operationalize this and
about ways to operationalize this and that night with my team at the red
that night with my team at the red
that night with my team at the red elephant foundation
elephant foundation
elephant foundation chalk piece was born we called it chalk
chalk piece was born we called it chalk
chalk piece was born we called it chalk piece because we wanted to be PC
piece because we wanted to be PC
piece because we wanted to be PC educators and the image of chalk almost
educators and the image of chalk almost
educators and the image of chalk almost automatically conjures up all things
automatically conjures up all things
automatically conjures up all things teaching but the difference was that we
teaching but the difference was that we
teaching but the difference was that we were not going to teach we were not in
were not going to teach we were not in
were not going to teach we were not in any way going to be the one standing to
any way going to be the one standing to
any way going to be the one standing to maneuver a workshop we were going to
maneuver a workshop we were going to
maneuver a workshop we were going to co-facilitate : walk the extra mile with
co-facilitate : walk the extra mile with
co-facilitate : walk the extra mile with the students we were with and learn
the students we were with and learn
the students we were with and learn along with them so with my curriculum we
along with them so with my curriculum we
along with them so with my curriculum we got to do a bunch of programs across
got to do a bunch of programs across
got to do a bunch of programs across different schools different programs
different schools different programs
different schools different programs different initiatives and in each of
different initiatives and in each of
different initiatives and in each of them one of the most common themes that
them one of the most common themes that
them one of the most common themes that we understood
we understood
we understood was that many of the children wanted to
was that many of the children wanted to
was that many of the children wanted to have a means to stay engaged so that led
have a means to stay engaged so that led
have a means to stay engaged so that led us to develop our curriculums in the
us to develop our curriculums in the
us to develop our curriculums in the form of little books ebooks handouts
form of little books ebooks handouts
form of little books ebooks handouts infographics that the children could
infographics that the children could
infographics that the children could come back on our website and access and
come back on our website and access and
come back on our website and access and that gave birth to a series of different
that gave birth to a series of different
that gave birth to a series of different ideas that have now found their way onto
ideas that have now found their way onto
ideas that have now found their way onto our website but while we did these
our website but while we did these
our website but while we did these workshops we also recognized that many
workshops we also recognized that many
workshops we also recognized that many of these children were coming from homes
of these children were coming from homes
of these children were coming from homes that tended to reiterate the exact
that tended to reiterate the exact
that tended to reiterate the exact opposite of what we taught them and so
opposite of what we taught them and so
opposite of what we taught them and so it became incredibly important to
it became incredibly important to
it became incredibly important to welcome the parents and the teachers and
welcome the parents and the teachers and
welcome the parents and the teachers and every other sphere of influence that the
every other sphere of influence that the
every other sphere of influence that the children were engaged with and so began
children were engaged with and so began
children were engaged with and so began a new series of reinvented curriculums
a new series of reinvented curriculums
a new series of reinvented curriculums that engaged a wider demographic and
that engaged a wider demographic and
that engaged a wider demographic and then came a point in the entire journey
then came a point in the entire journey
then came a point in the entire journey when we realized that chalk bees can
when we realized that chalk bees can
when we realized that chalk bees can actually make a difference out of the
actually make a difference out of the
actually make a difference out of the thousand children that we’ve worked with
thousand children that we’ve worked with
thousand children that we’ve worked with we’ve been able to change over 600 lives
we’ve been able to change over 600 lives
we’ve been able to change over 600 lives that actually reported to us out of the
that actually reported to us out of the
that actually reported to us out of the remaining 400 there could be some that
remaining 400 there could be some that
remaining 400 there could be some that we’ve changed they may not but 600 is a
we’ve changed they may not but 600 is a
we’ve changed they may not but 600 is a good number to go with when I think of
good number to go with when I think of
good number to go with when I think of chalk beasts and the numbers that we’ve
chalk beasts and the numbers that we’ve
chalk beasts and the numbers that we’ve been able to convert I can’t tell you
been able to convert I can’t tell you
been able to convert I can’t tell you that we’ve been successful enough in
that we’ve been successful enough in
that we’ve been successful enough in changing the world we’re getting there
changing the world we’re getting there
changing the world we’re getting there but it only makes me think of this one
but it only makes me think of this one
but it only makes me think of this one beautiful story that I grew up learning
beautiful story that I grew up learning
beautiful story that I grew up learning and I call it the starfish story there
and I call it the starfish story there
and I call it the starfish story there was this man who was walking on the sea
was this man who was walking on the sea
was this man who was walking on the sea shore and he found starfish being washed
shore and he found starfish being washed
shore and he found starfish being washed ashore by the waves he would pick one up
ashore by the waves he would pick one up
ashore by the waves he would pick one up throw it back into the water and kept
throw it back into the water and kept
throw it back into the water and kept doing it for the entire time that he
doing it for the entire time that he
doing it for the entire time that he walked on still on the shore another man
walked on still on the shore another man
walked on still on the shore another man who was watching him walked up to him
who was watching him walked up to him
who was watching him walked up to him and said what are you doing it’s not
and said what are you doing it’s not
and said what are you doing it’s not gonna make a difference this man picked
gonna make a difference this man picked
gonna make a difference this man picked up one more starfish threw it in the
up one more starfish threw it in the
up one more starfish threw it in the water look the man in the eye and said
water look the man in the eye and said
water look the man in the eye and said it makes a difference to this one thank
it makes a difference to this one thank
it makes a difference to this one thank you
”
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