it was december eleventh two thousand eight a cold winter day but the Sun was
eight a cold winter day but the Sun was
eight a cold winter day but the Sun was still bright and shining I was in a
still bright and shining I was in a
still bright and shining I was in a store a shoe store on broadway in new
store a shoe store on broadway in new
store a shoe store on broadway in new york city i had not entered a shoe store
york city i had not entered a shoe store
york city i had not entered a shoe store in over a year and had forgotten how
in over a year and had forgotten how
in over a year and had forgotten how effective retail therapy can be i felt
effective retail therapy can be i felt
effective retail therapy can be i felt like a little girl in a candy shop
like a little girl in a candy shop
like a little girl in a candy shop overwhelmed with options struggling to
overwhelmed with options struggling to
overwhelmed with options struggling to decide between four pairs of shoes so i
decide between four pairs of shoes so i
decide between four pairs of shoes so i bought them all I assured myself that I
bought them all I assured myself that I
bought them all I assured myself that I would be back to return at least two
would be back to return at least two
would be back to return at least two pairs Yeah right as i finished my
pairs Yeah right as i finished my
pairs Yeah right as i finished my purchase and got ready to depart the
purchase and got ready to depart the
purchase and got ready to depart the store i tapped my jacket pockets i
store i tapped my jacket pockets i
store i tapped my jacket pockets i typically don’t carry a handbag and
typically don’t carry a handbag and
typically don’t carry a handbag and prefer to stuff my pockets instead so i
prefer to stuff my pockets instead so i
prefer to stuff my pockets instead so i took inventory phone check keys check
took inventory phone check keys check
took inventory phone check keys check credit card check i walked out of the
credit card check i walked out of the
credit card check i walked out of the store with for oversized bags this was a
store with for oversized bags this was a
store with for oversized bags this was a moment to make a statement to be the
moment to make a statement to be the
moment to make a statement to be the fashionable woman walking down broadway
fashionable woman walking down broadway
fashionable woman walking down broadway carrying shopping bags on a right angle
carrying shopping bags on a right angle
carrying shopping bags on a right angle arm hold two bags in each arm i walked i
arm hold two bags in each arm i walked i
arm hold two bags in each arm i walked i had walked about three blocks when i
had walked about three blocks when i
had walked about three blocks when i heard a man screaming man ma’am your mam
heard a man screaming man ma’am your mam
heard a man screaming man ma’am your mam everyone was slowly turning to see the
everyone was slowly turning to see the
everyone was slowly turning to see the man waving his hand in the air his final
man waving his hand in the air his final
man waving his hand in the air his final shout came as ma’am you forgot your baby
shout came as ma’am you forgot your baby
shout came as ma’am you forgot your baby in the store in a short second i thought
in the store in a short second i thought
in the store in a short second i thought who would do something like that
who would do something like that
who would do something like that irresponsible people and then a quick
irresponsible people and then a quick
irresponsible people and then a quick nanosecond later I thought that’s my
nanosecond later I thought that’s my
nanosecond later I thought that’s my baby oh my god I forgot my first born in
baby oh my god I forgot my first born in
baby oh my god I forgot my first born in a shoe store in a panic I ran back there
a shoe store in a panic I ran back there
a shoe store in a panic I ran back there she was safe in her bassinet wrapped in
she was safe in her bassinet wrapped in
she was safe in her bassinet wrapped in her blanket all of three and a half
her blanket all of three and a half
her blanket all of three and a half months old who forgets their baby in a
months old who forgets their baby in a
months old who forgets their baby in a store who does that I did and I
store who does that I did and I
store who does that I did and I guarantee you that one day you will too
guarantee you that one day you will too
guarantee you that one day you will too or
or
or at least come close to a similar
at least come close to a similar
at least come close to a similar experience if you like me have a family
experience if you like me have a family
experience if you like me have a family and are launching a venture-backed
and are launching a venture-backed
and are launching a venture-backed first-to-market platform and a mostly
first-to-market platform and a mostly
first-to-market platform and a mostly single parenting and working more hours
single parenting and working more hours
single parenting and working more hours than who we can afford and have build
than who we can afford and have build
than who we can afford and have build larger than your bank account to pay and
larger than your bank account to pay and
larger than your bank account to pay and are dealing with endless doctor
are dealing with endless doctor
are dealing with endless doctor appointments for your newborns rare
appointments for your newborns rare
appointments for your newborns rare medical condition that led to an
medical condition that led to an
medical condition that led to an emergency craniotomy at the tender age
emergency craniotomy at the tender age
emergency craniotomy at the tender age of seven months and well you get the
of seven months and well you get the
of seven months and well you get the point this talk is not about being
point this talk is not about being
point this talk is not about being superhuman nor is it about garnering
superhuman nor is it about garnering
superhuman nor is it about garnering empathy it is about the real life fact
empathy it is about the real life fact
empathy it is about the real life fact that there is no such thing as achieving
that there is no such thing as achieving
that there is no such thing as achieving perfect balance repeat after me you
perfect balance repeat after me you
perfect balance repeat after me you cannot have it all with balance you can
cannot have it all with balance you can
cannot have it all with balance you can have it all with that balance it’s
have it all with that balance it’s
have it all with that balance it’s either or this conversation about
either or this conversation about
either or this conversation about work-life balance and having it all has
work-life balance and having it all has
work-life balance and having it all has garnered so much interest even a simple
garnered so much interest even a simple
garnered so much interest even a simple quick Google search for work-life
quick Google search for work-life
quick Google search for work-life balance yields over 82 million results
balance yields over 82 million results
balance yields over 82 million results all the books you can read tricks you
all the books you can read tricks you
all the books you can read tricks you can follow and talks you may have heard
can follow and talks you may have heard
can follow and talks you may have heard from accomplished expert on the topic of
from accomplished expert on the topic of
from accomplished expert on the topic of work-life balance are simply not
work-life balance are simply not
work-life balance are simply not realistic they do not account for real
realistic they do not account for real
realistic they do not account for real life which at best is unpredictable
life which at best is unpredictable
life which at best is unpredictable especially for working women and men who
especially for working women and men who
especially for working women and men who have to straddle both work and home
have to straddle both work and home
have to straddle both work and home responsibilities there are several
responsibilities there are several
responsibilities there are several societal changes we can point to that
societal changes we can point to that
societal changes we can point to that highlight this reality first very few
highlight this reality first very few
highlight this reality first very few industries if any still abide by a
industries if any still abide by a
industries if any still abide by a 40-hour workweek most people are working
40-hour workweek most people are working
40-hour workweek most people are working odd hours constantly accessible and
odd hours constantly accessible and
odd hours constantly accessible and on-call through this device we carry in
on-call through this device we carry in
on-call through this device we carry in our pockets in India over
our pockets in India over
our pockets in India over fifty five percent of managers who work
fifty five percent of managers who work
fifty five percent of managers who work more than 40 hours a week in the u.s.
more than 40 hours a week in the u.s.
more than 40 hours a week in the u.s. that number is fifty-eight percent and
that number is fifty-eight percent and
that number is fifty-eight percent and the higher up you on your career that
the higher up you on your career that
the higher up you on your career that reality increases dramatically in the US
reality increases dramatically in the US
reality increases dramatically in the US women comprise nearly of half the labor
women comprise nearly of half the labor
women comprise nearly of half the labor force and in more than sixty percent of
force and in more than sixty percent of
force and in more than sixty percent of households with children all adults are
households with children all adults are
households with children all adults are working in India women make up
working in India women make up
working in India women make up twenty-five percent of the workforce
twenty-five percent of the workforce
twenty-five percent of the workforce India is the hope to the world’s second
India is the hope to the world’s second
India is the hope to the world’s second largest population aged 60 years and
largest population aged 60 years and
largest population aged 60 years and above yet less than fifteen percent of
above yet less than fifteen percent of
above yet less than fifteen percent of elderly population is covered by a
elderly population is covered by a
elderly population is covered by a pension system which offers as little as
pension system which offers as little as
pension system which offers as little as a dollar fifty a month putting the
a dollar fifty a month putting the
a dollar fifty a month putting the entire financial burden of eldercare on
entire financial burden of eldercare on
entire financial burden of eldercare on the adults and working families a recent
the adults and working families a recent
the adults and working families a recent catalyst study in India showed that for
catalyst study in India showed that for
catalyst study in India showed that for more than eighty percent of both men and
more than eighty percent of both men and
more than eighty percent of both men and women in India the existing flexibility
women in India the existing flexibility
women in India the existing flexibility policies provided by the organization
policies provided by the organization
policies provided by the organization did not meet their work life needs yet
did not meet their work life needs yet
did not meet their work life needs yet it was flexible only twelve percent of
it was flexible only twelve percent of
it was flexible only twelve percent of private-sector workers have access to
private-sector workers have access to
private-sector workers have access to paid family leave through the employer a
paid family leave through the employer a
paid family leave through the employer a concept unheard of in India may be some
concept unheard of in India may be some
concept unheard of in India may be some of these policies or norms will change
of these policies or norms will change
of these policies or norms will change over the next decade but in the meantime
over the next decade but in the meantime
over the next decade but in the meantime we need to stop harping on work-life
we need to stop harping on work-life
we need to stop harping on work-life balance in the face of all of this and
balance in the face of all of this and
balance in the face of all of this and instead focus on juggling let’s just be
instead focus on juggling let’s just be
instead focus on juggling let’s just be honest juggling is an art but you knew
honest juggling is an art but you knew
honest juggling is an art but you knew that a skilled juggler is able to create
that a skilled juggler is able to create
that a skilled juggler is able to create a steady rhythm anticipating and
a steady rhythm anticipating and
a steady rhythm anticipating and preparing for the addition of new
preparing for the addition of new
preparing for the addition of new objects to the cycle without disruption
objects to the cycle without disruption
objects to the cycle without disruption juggling is also a science did you know
juggling is also a science did you know
juggling is also a science did you know that there’s a formula to determine the
that there’s a formula to determine the
that there’s a formula to determine the probability of risk with each ball being
probability of risk with each ball being
probability of risk with each ball being added to the cycle
added to the cycle
added to the cycle I can break the formula down in detail
I can break the formula down in detail
I can break the formula down in detail explaining the correlation between
explaining the correlation between
explaining the correlation between probability and risk but the simple
probability and risk but the simple
probability and risk but the simple logic is this as you increase the number
logic is this as you increase the number
logic is this as you increase the number of balls you’re juggling the probability
of balls you’re juggling the probability
of balls you’re juggling the probability that you drop one also increases in
that you drop one also increases in
that you drop one also increases in relation to achieving the elusive
relation to achieving the elusive
relation to achieving the elusive work-life balance the more
work-life balance the more
work-life balance the more responsibilities you’re juggling the
responsibilities you’re juggling the
responsibilities you’re juggling the more likely you are to metaphorically
more likely you are to metaphorically
more likely you are to metaphorically drop the ball it is important to
drop the ball it is important to
drop the ball it is important to continuously add responsibilities
continuously add responsibilities
continuously add responsibilities without unloading others all while
without unloading others all while
without unloading others all while maintaining balance and stability
maintaining balance and stability
maintaining balance and stability juggling is not only about sequencing of
juggling is not only about sequencing of
juggling is not only about sequencing of balls it’s also about swapping your
balls it’s also about swapping your
balls it’s also about swapping your sequences for example what is the
sequences for example what is the
sequences for example what is the probability that i’ll forget my child
probability that i’ll forget my child
probability that i’ll forget my child from school or to pick her up from
from school or to pick her up from
from school or to pick her up from school I know this is making me seem
school I know this is making me seem
school I know this is making me seem like a highly forgetful person or
like a highly forgetful person or
like a highly forgetful person or suggesting I have early onset of amnesia
suggesting I have early onset of amnesia
suggesting I have early onset of amnesia but I assure you that it’s neither on
but I assure you that it’s neither on
but I assure you that it’s neither on Monday my probability is high I have a
Monday my probability is high I have a
Monday my probability is high I have a packed schedule and I have to pick her
packed schedule and I have to pick her
packed schedule and I have to pick her up from her after-school program late in
up from her after-school program late in
up from her after-school program late in the day other days it’s zero the school
the day other days it’s zero the school
the day other days it’s zero the school bus drops her home recognizing the
bus drops her home recognizing the
bus drops her home recognizing the assign probability of risk allows for
assign probability of risk allows for
assign probability of risk allows for the human mind to do two things one be
the human mind to do two things one be
the human mind to do two things one be more alert and aware this helps
more alert and aware this helps
more alert and aware this helps psychologically reduce the risk to be
psychologically reduce the risk to be
psychologically reduce the risk to be more accepting certain things are just
more accepting certain things are just
more accepting certain things are just not in your direct control it’s
not in your direct control it’s
not in your direct control it’s important to focus on the things that
important to focus on the things that
important to focus on the things that you’re able to effectively change and
you’re able to effectively change and
you’re able to effectively change and address with time experience and age
address with time experience and age
address with time experience and age comes a peaceful sense of security and
comes a peaceful sense of security and
comes a peaceful sense of security and comfort in your own skin with this comes
comfort in your own skin with this comes
comfort in your own skin with this comes an understanding and an acceptance that
an understanding and an acceptance that
an understanding and an acceptance that things will go wrong especially when
things will go wrong especially when
things will go wrong especially when you’re juggling professional personal
you’re juggling professional personal
you’re juggling professional personal and family responsibilities here are six
and family responsibilities here are six
and family responsibilities here are six things worth spreading that will help
things worth spreading that will help
things worth spreading that will help you master
you master
you master the responsibilities in your life while
the responsibilities in your life while
the responsibilities in your life while still achieving success and maintaining
still achieving success and maintaining
still achieving success and maintaining sanity one will happen accept it
sanity one will happen accept it
sanity one will happen accept it but don’t wait for it to honestly
but don’t wait for it to honestly
but don’t wait for it to honestly acknowledge when you’ve made a mess and
acknowledge when you’ve made a mess and
acknowledge when you’ve made a mess and be quick to take ownership and say sorry
be quick to take ownership and say sorry
be quick to take ownership and say sorry three have the humility to ask for help
three have the humility to ask for help
three have the humility to ask for help a lot of it take a step back to
a lot of it take a step back to
a lot of it take a step back to prioritize and be realistic about what
prioritize and be realistic about what
prioritize and be realistic about what you take on there are people willing to
you take on there are people willing to
you take on there are people willing to help if you just ask for be humble there
help if you just ask for be humble there
help if you just ask for be humble there is no need to blow your own trumpet
is no need to blow your own trumpet
is no need to blow your own trumpet unfortunately we in today’s hashtag
unfortunately we in today’s hashtag
unfortunately we in today’s hashtag selfie world don’t recognize that five
selfie world don’t recognize that five
selfie world don’t recognize that five be transparent and real when
be transparent and real when
be transparent and real when communicating with others whether it’s
communicating with others whether it’s
communicating with others whether it’s talking apologizing accepting advising
talking apologizing accepting advising
talking apologizing accepting advising or presenting six most importantly laugh
or presenting six most importantly laugh
or presenting six most importantly laugh at yourself and don’t forget your smile
at yourself and don’t forget your smile
at yourself and don’t forget your smile there is strength in finding the humor
there is strength in finding the humor
there is strength in finding the humor in even the worst circumstances
in even the worst circumstances
in even the worst circumstances embracing humor and laughter reduces
embracing humor and laughter reduces
embracing humor and laughter reduces stress so here I am a working mother who
stress so here I am a working mother who
stress so here I am a working mother who wants just once forgot her daughter in a
wants just once forgot her daughter in a
wants just once forgot her daughter in a shoe store I learned a lot about the art
shoe store I learned a lot about the art
shoe store I learned a lot about the art and science of juggling since then but I
and science of juggling since then but I
and science of juggling since then but I also know that I’ll continuously drop
also know that I’ll continuously drop
also know that I’ll continuously drop balls now and then and it’s okay this
balls now and then and it’s okay this
balls now and then and it’s okay this talk is an example of my daily juggle
talk is an example of my daily juggle
talk is an example of my daily juggle while I would have loved to be there
while I would have loved to be there
while I would have loved to be there with all of you today i currently have
with all of you today i currently have
with all of you today i currently have several balls in the air that are
several balls in the air that are
several balls in the air that are keeping me from joining you in person
keeping me from joining you in person
keeping me from joining you in person I’m flying to California for a wedding
I’m flying to California for a wedding
I’m flying to California for a wedding planning a company-wide meeting and just
planning a company-wide meeting and just
planning a company-wide meeting and just being mom in juggling all of these
being mom in juggling all of these
being mom in juggling all of these things I continually remind myself
things I continually remind myself
things I continually remind myself of the six steps will happen my
of the six steps will happen my
of the six steps will happen my flight may get delayed a new product
flight may get delayed a new product
flight may get delayed a new product will have bugs and so long as I stay
will have bugs and so long as I stay
will have bugs and so long as I stay humble communicate ask for help and
humble communicate ask for help and
humble communicate ask for help and laugh at myself it will be okay remember
laugh at myself it will be okay remember
laugh at myself it will be okay remember so long as you don’t work everyday to
so long as you don’t work everyday to
so long as you don’t work everyday to strike some sort of a mythical
strike some sort of a mythical
strike some sort of a mythical unachievable balance it’ll all be okay
unachievable balance it’ll all be okay
unachievable balance it’ll all be okay so I leave you with this learn to juggle
so I leave you with this learn to juggle
so I leave you with this learn to juggle and when a ball drops pick it up and
and when a ball drops pick it up and
and when a ball drops pick it up and keep going
”
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