
hi I’d like to start off by thanking the dai aesthetics team for inviting me here
dai aesthetics team for inviting me here
dai aesthetics team for inviting me here when they invited me here I thought
when they invited me here I thought
when they invited me here I thought about the series of decisions that went
about the series of decisions that went
about the series of decisions that went that I took in my life as a
that I took in my life as a
that I took in my life as a student-athlete performance can be
student-athlete performance can be
student-athlete performance can be improved in many ways this talk is about
improved in many ways this talk is about
improved in many ways this talk is about how self-reflection can help you
how self-reflection can help you
how self-reflection can help you impartial evaluate your experiences and
impartial evaluate your experiences and
impartial evaluate your experiences and therefore improve performance I’m not
therefore improve performance I’m not
therefore improve performance I’m not asking you to agree with me because
asking you to agree with me because
asking you to agree with me because these are some strong ideologies what I
these are some strong ideologies what I
these are some strong ideologies what I truly believe they’ve positively impact
truly believe they’ve positively impact
truly believe they’ve positively impact in my life so just give me a chance
tangibles what are they we use commonly
tangibles what are they we use commonly common statistics to measure performance
common statistics to measure performance
common statistics to measure performance so that or as I like to call them
so that or as I like to call them
so that or as I like to call them tangibles think about the Olympic medal
tangibles think about the Olympic medal
tangibles think about the Olympic medal tally a grade point average or a class
tally a grade point average or a class
tally a grade point average or a class rank these tangibles are constantly in
rank these tangibles are constantly in
rank these tangibles are constantly in our head and we associate them with
our head and we associate them with
our head and we associate them with complex qualities qualities found in the
complex qualities qualities found in the
complex qualities qualities found in the people who achieve those tangible goals
people who achieve those tangible goals
people who achieve those tangible goals like discipline mental fortitude
like discipline mental fortitude
like discipline mental fortitude perseverance we formulated these
perseverance we formulated these
perseverance we formulated these qualities and society has published them
qualities and society has published them
qualities and society has published them in books journals and motivational and
in books journals and motivational and
in books journals and motivational and motivational speakers will also talk
motivational speakers will also talk
motivational speakers will also talk about these qualities I’m not here to do
about these qualities I’m not here to do
about these qualities I’m not here to do that I’m not going to talk about how
that I’m not going to talk about how
that I’m not going to talk about how qualities lead the goal attainment
qualities lead the goal attainment
qualities lead the goal attainment that’s something that’s very well-known
that’s something that’s very well-known
that’s something that’s very well-known I’m gonna talk about a powerful thinking
I’m gonna talk about a powerful thinking
I’m gonna talk about a powerful thinking that’s used to develop those qualities
so we think about these qualities or
so we think about these qualities or goal-setting in two ways the tangible
goal-setting in two ways the tangible
goal-setting in two ways the tangible goals that we set for them and the
goals that we set for them and the
goals that we set for them and the intangible qualities that are associated
intangible qualities that are associated
intangible qualities that are associated with them we know the qualities that we
with them we know the qualities that we
with them we know the qualities that we want but we don’t know how to get there
want but we don’t know how to get there
want but we don’t know how to get there because each quality is a set of unique
because each quality is a set of unique
because each quality is a set of unique decisions a series of unique decisions
decisions a series of unique decisions
decisions a series of unique decisions and we don’t think about that we tend to
and we don’t think about that we tend to
and we don’t think about that we tend to focus more on what qualities we need or
focus more on what qualities we need or
focus more on what qualities we need or what goals that we want
what goals that we want
what goals that we want and how we’re going to achieve them but
and how we’re going to achieve them but
and how we’re going to achieve them but not about how to make better decisions
not about how to make better decisions
not about how to make better decisions so a decision could be anything
so a decision could be anything
so a decision could be anything for example the decision to not binge
for example the decision to not binge
for example the decision to not binge watch Netflix as difficult as it is is
watch Netflix as difficult as it is is
watch Netflix as difficult as it is is one that helps develop the quality of
one that helps develop the quality of
one that helps develop the quality of discipline or time management or
discipline or time management or
discipline or time management or whatever the quality it is that you’re
whatever the quality it is that you’re
whatever the quality it is that you’re trying to get or achieve and we know it
trying to get or achieve and we know it
trying to get or achieve and we know it but we’re not able to think about it
Hey
Hey so decision-making how do we do it
so decision-making how do we do it
so decision-making how do we do it decisions are made on good judgment but
decisions are made on good judgment but
decisions are made on good judgment but good judgment is intangible so we tend
good judgment is intangible so we tend
good judgment is intangible so we tend not to think about it regardless of how
not to think about it regardless of how
not to think about it regardless of how important it may be in creating those
important it may be in creating those
important it may be in creating those decisions so that then explains part of
decisions so that then explains part of
decisions so that then explains part of the problem we have tangible goals we’ve
the problem we have tangible goals we’ve
the problem we have tangible goals we’ve sociated those goals with qualities but
sociated those goals with qualities but
sociated those goals with qualities but we don’t know how to get to those
we don’t know how to get to those
we don’t know how to get to those qualities because the thinking behind
qualities because the thinking behind
qualities because the thinking behind them is intangible that’s where we
them is intangible that’s where we
them is intangible that’s where we forget that the experience of the path
forget that the experience of the path
forget that the experience of the path to our goals is one that’s unique based
to our goals is one that’s unique based
to our goals is one that’s unique based on the decisions that we make
on the decisions that we make
on the decisions that we make so because we can’t pinpoint the
so because we can’t pinpoint the
so because we can’t pinpoint the decision set that created qualities and
decision set that created qualities and
decision set that created qualities and others we need to understand the
others we need to understand the
others we need to understand the decision-making that is our own and
decision-making that is our own and
decision-making that is our own and that’s pretty much what I did during
that’s pretty much what I did during
that’s pretty much what I did during high school I would just try and do
high school I would just try and do
high school I would just try and do everything the best I could conditional
everything the best I could conditional
everything the best I could conditional on the situation at hand whether that
on the situation at hand whether that
on the situation at hand whether that meant studying on an airplane or
meant studying on an airplane or
meant studying on an airplane or training when I’m saw or going out when
training when I’m saw or going out when
training when I’m saw or going out when my friends walked but I didn’t
my friends walked but I didn’t
my friends walked but I didn’t understand what was going on now I do
understand what was going on now I do
understand what was going on now I do what was going on was I was using
what was going on was I was using
what was going on was I was using continuous self-reflection I’m going to
continuous self-reflection I’m going to
continuous self-reflection I’m going to define self-reflection as the unbiased
define self-reflection as the unbiased
define self-reflection as the unbiased feedback mechanism or an impartial way
feedback mechanism or an impartial way
feedback mechanism or an impartial way in which we can evaluate our experiences
in which we can evaluate our experiences
in which we can evaluate our experiences and therefore make better decisions so
and therefore make better decisions so
and therefore make better decisions so how does reflective thinking help us why
how does reflective thinking help us why
how does reflective thinking help us why don’t we do it well it’s a tricky
don’t we do it well it’s a tricky
don’t we do it well it’s a tricky question think about winning and losing
question think about winning and losing
question think about winning and losing winning and losing correlates with
winning and losing correlates with
winning and losing correlates with results we associate victory with
results we associate victory with
results we associate victory with happiness and lost with discontent but
happiness and lost with discontent but
happiness and lost with discontent but that’s not really what’s going on
that’s not really what’s going on
that’s not really what’s going on because we could have played really well
because we could have played really well
because we could have played really well and lost or played awfully in one even
and lost or played awfully in one even
and lost or played awfully in one even though that’s a very improbable
though that’s a very improbable
though that’s a very improbable experience it’s a possibility and
experience it’s a possibility and
experience it’s a possibility and because of that we focus more on the
because of that we focus more on the
because of that we focus more on the result and
result and
result and happy regardless of whether how it is we
happy regardless of whether how it is we
happy regardless of whether how it is we won or we’re sad
won or we’re sad
won or we’re sad regardless of hard as we played when we
regardless of hard as we played when we
regardless of hard as we played when we lost and that’s interesting because an
lost and that’s interesting because an
lost and that’s interesting because an unbiased feedback mechanism is better
unbiased feedback mechanism is better
unbiased feedback mechanism is better than a result if the result can be
than a result if the result can be
than a result if the result can be biased but if you think about things in
biased but if you think about things in
biased but if you think about things in a particular consistent way they won’t
a particular consistent way they won’t
a particular consistent way they won’t be so let me give you an example a
be so let me give you an example a
be so let me give you an example a couple of years ago I finished a match I
couple of years ago I finished a match I
couple of years ago I finished a match I ran into someone who come to see me play
ran into someone who come to see me play
ran into someone who come to see me play and I had won but I didn’t think I
and I had won but I didn’t think I
and I had won but I didn’t think I played too well they told me that I
played too well they told me that I
played too well they told me that I played really well because that’s just a
played really well because that’s just a
played really well because that’s just a social context of the situation they
social context of the situation they
social context of the situation they replied to tell me that I played well
replied to tell me that I played well
replied to tell me that I played well because they were there and specifically
because they were there and specifically
because they were there and specifically came to watch me so I didn’t take that
came to watch me so I didn’t take that
came to watch me so I didn’t take that as very good feedback another time I was
as very good feedback another time I was
as very good feedback another time I was actually pretty confused about how to
actually pretty confused about how to
actually pretty confused about how to think a situation think about a
think a situation think about a
think a situation think about a situation my coach gave me as told me I
situation my coach gave me as told me I
situation my coach gave me as told me I played really well and when I went back
played really well and when I went back
played really well and when I went back to watch the same match on video I was
to watch the same match on video I was
to watch the same match on video I was shocked
shocked
shocked my performance subject to critical
my performance subject to critical
my performance subject to critical evaluation and unbiased feedback based
evaluation and unbiased feedback based
evaluation and unbiased feedback based on the technique and the way I played
on the technique and the way I played
on the technique and the way I played was mediocre and that’s that’s really
was mediocre and that’s that’s really
was mediocre and that’s that’s really what I’m trying to get out that because
what I’m trying to get out that because
what I’m trying to get out that because we’re so absorbed in the experience
we’re so absorbed in the experience
we’re so absorbed in the experience itself we’re not able to see it for what
itself we’re not able to see it for what
itself we’re not able to see it for what it really is and that’s the bedrock of
it really is and that’s the bedrock of
it really is and that’s the bedrock of reflective thinking evaluating your
reflective thinking evaluating your
reflective thinking evaluating your decisions in unbiased manner so this is
decisions in unbiased manner so this is
decisions in unbiased manner so this is the reflective cycle think of it as a
the reflective cycle think of it as a
the reflective cycle think of it as a science experiment so let’s start with
science experiment so let’s start with
science experiment so let’s start with the scientific process step one
the scientific process step one
the scientific process step one reflection that’s the hypotheses Google
reflection that’s the hypotheses Google
reflection that’s the hypotheses Google defines the hypothesis as a supposition
defines the hypothesis as a supposition
defines the hypothesis as a supposition of proposed explanation based on limited
of proposed explanation based on limited
of proposed explanation based on limited evidence as a starting point for further
evidence as a starting point for further
evidence as a starting point for further evaluation the initial reflection is a
evaluation the initial reflection is a
evaluation the initial reflection is a lot of what we’re actually doing right
lot of what we’re actually doing right
lot of what we’re actually doing right now what we’re thinking so for an
now what we’re thinking so for an
now what we’re thinking so for an athlete that would be going through real
athlete that would be going through real
athlete that would be going through real or training training the way they think
or training training the way they think
or training training the way they think is best or optimal to perform but what
is best or optimal to perform but what
is best or optimal to perform but what we keep constantly missing is that our
we keep constantly missing is that our
we keep constantly missing is that our experiences can be biased so
experiences can be biased so
experiences can be biased so initial hypothesis even though it seems
initial hypothesis even though it seems
initial hypothesis even though it seems correct it’s not always that’s always
correct it’s not always that’s always
correct it’s not always that’s always the case and that’s what brings us to
the case and that’s what brings us to
the case and that’s what brings us to action that stage to what you actually
action that stage to what you actually
action that stage to what you actually do within an experience the methods you
do within an experience the methods you
do within an experience the methods you use within a match to optimize it think
use within a match to optimize it think
use within a match to optimize it think of the way you stand when you play a
of the way you stand when you play a
of the way you stand when you play a short think of the strategies you used
short think of the strategies you used
short think of the strategies you used within a match something that you do in
within a match something that you do in
within a match something that you do in the moment to optimize your
the moment to optimize your
the moment to optimize your decision-making death and we think
decision-making death and we think
decision-making death and we think that’s correct because we think we’re
that’s correct because we think we’re
that’s correct because we think we’re performing optimally within that action
performing optimally within that action
performing optimally within that action when in reality and I reiterate our
when in reality and I reiterate our
when in reality and I reiterate our experiences can be biased and that
experiences can be biased and that
experiences can be biased and that brings me to the flexion on action the
brings me to the flexion on action the
brings me to the flexion on action the idea that we can be swayed by bias
idea that we can be swayed by bias
idea that we can be swayed by bias experiences it’s accepting that and
experiences it’s accepting that and
experiences it’s accepting that and trying to evaluate them in an objective
trying to evaluate them in an objective
trying to evaluate them in an objective fashion think of it is like viewing your
fashion think of it is like viewing your
fashion think of it is like viewing your experiences on videotape as a third
experiences on videotape as a third
experiences on videotape as a third party so how does reflect in like this
party so how does reflect in like this
party so how does reflect in like this help us because the intensity of an
help us because the intensity of an
help us because the intensity of an experience makes us not be able to
experience makes us not be able to
experience makes us not be able to remember the methods we carried out in
remember the methods we carried out in
remember the methods we carried out in the experience but more associate them
the experience but more associate them
the experience but more associate them with a particular emotion so if I eat
with a particular emotion so if I eat
with a particular emotion so if I eat the chocolate that’s going to make me
the chocolate that’s going to make me
the chocolate that’s going to make me happy but that in no way implies that
happy but that in no way implies that
happy but that in no way implies that the decision to make that decision to
the decision to make that decision to
the decision to make that decision to eat that chocolate was a good one
eat that chocolate was a good one
eat that chocolate was a good one so we really need to start thinking
so we really need to start thinking
so we really need to start thinking about exactly what our experiences
about exactly what our experiences
about exactly what our experiences represent look at them for what’s
represent look at them for what’s
represent look at them for what’s happening and not how what they not how
happening and not how what they not how
happening and not how what they not how they make us feel and that’s when I come
they make us feel and that’s when I come
they make us feel and that’s when I come to stage for reform – but before I think
to stage for reform – but before I think
to stage for reform – but before I think about going into stage four let’s look
about going into stage four let’s look
about going into stage four let’s look at the example of losing a match if I
at the example of losing a match if I
at the example of losing a match if I lose a match I think I played really
lose a match I think I played really
lose a match I think I played really well but I get absorbed in the intensity
well but I get absorbed in the intensity
well but I get absorbed in the intensity of losing and forget that I played
of losing and forget that I played
of losing and forget that I played really well so what’s happened is my
really well so what’s happened is my
really well so what’s happened is my performance is better whether it’s in
performance is better whether it’s in
performance is better whether it’s in terms of the many actions I take within
terms of the many actions I take within
terms of the many actions I take within and action going back to things like
and action going back to things like
and action going back to things like technique or whatever it may be and
technique or whatever it may be and
technique or whatever it may be and that’s all reality I won’t think about
that’s all reality I won’t think about
that’s all reality I won’t think about that experience too much because it
that experience too much because it
that experience too much because it makes me unhappy not because I think my
makes me unhappy not because I think my
makes me unhappy not because I think my performance is improved because
performance is improved because
performance is improved because emotionals emotions cloud out our
emotionals emotions cloud out our
emotionals emotions cloud out our objective judgment I’m not saying that
objective judgment I’m not saying that
objective judgment I’m not saying that we don’t need a motion but we should be
we don’t need a motion but we should be
we don’t need a motion but we should be able to temporarily disassociate from
able to temporarily disassociate from
able to temporarily disassociate from them to evaluate things that they
them to evaluate things that they
them to evaluate things that they actually are and that brings me to stage
actually are and that brings me to stage
actually are and that brings me to stage four reformed action think of reformed
four reformed action think of reformed
four reformed action think of reformed action as the need to evaluate your
action as the need to evaluate your
action as the need to evaluate your experiment so so excuse me think of the
experiment so so excuse me think of the
experiment so so excuse me think of the formal action as the action in stage two
formal action as the action in stage two
formal action as the action in stage two but with stronger methods at this point
but with stronger methods at this point
but with stronger methods at this point we’ve evaluated our experiment an
we’ve evaluated our experiment an
we’ve evaluated our experiment an experiment which was the experience
experiment which was the experience
experiment which was the experience unlike any scientist we don’t try and
unlike any scientist we don’t try and
unlike any scientist we don’t try and manipulate the data that is our
manipulate the data that is our
manipulate the data that is our experience we critically think about it
experience we critically think about it
experience we critically think about it so if we’re not able to reach refound
so if we’re not able to reach refound
so if we’re not able to reach refound actions what does that really mean that
actions what does that really mean that
actions what does that really mean that means we’re not asking the right
means we’re not asking the right
means we’re not asking the right questions and where do the good
questions and where do the good
questions and where do the good questions come from or the right
questions come from or the right
questions come from or the right questions come from our ability to
questions come from our ability to
questions come from our ability to objectively evaluate things so the
objectively evaluate things so the
objectively evaluate things so the reflection cycle has concluded but this
reflection cycle has concluded but this
reflection cycle has concluded but this is just a starting point for the
is just a starting point for the
is just a starting point for the qualities that we want to create or the
qualities that we want to create or the
qualities that we want to create or the performance that will manifest from
performance that will manifest from
performance that will manifest from those qualities our brain needs to be
those qualities our brain needs to be
those qualities our brain needs to be subject to critical assessment to find
subject to critical assessment to find
subject to critical assessment to find the answers that were looking for and
the answers that were looking for and
the answers that were looking for and despite this reflection cycle concluding
despite this reflection cycle concluding
despite this reflection cycle concluding you consistently think about better and
you consistently think about better and
you consistently think about better and better questions to ask as you go along
better questions to ask as you go along
better questions to ask as you go along the process I started thinking about
the process I started thinking about
the process I started thinking about reflection when my coach mandated upon
reflection when my coach mandated upon
reflection when my coach mandated upon me I was forced to do it I didn’t like
me I was forced to do it I didn’t like
me I was forced to do it I didn’t like it when it was happening but I
it when it was happening but I
it when it was happening but I understood its value over time and now I
understood its value over time and now I
understood its value over time and now I think about it in a way that helps me be
think about it in a way that helps me be
think about it in a way that helps me be intellectually curious and that’s
intellectually curious and that’s
intellectually curious and that’s something I value
something I value
something I value let me give you an example so the
let me give you an example so the
let me give you an example so the decisions that go through an athlete’s
decisions that go through an athlete’s
decisions that go through an athlete’s mind when he’s trying to work out when
mind when he’s trying to work out when
mind when he’s trying to work out when he saw or not is one is I’m too too sore
he saw or not is one is I’m too too sore
he saw or not is one is I’m too too sore to work out I can’t move the second is
to work out I can’t move the second is
to work out I can’t move the second is then you know I’m so saw that
then you know I’m so saw that
then you know I’m so saw that I’ll get injured while these are
I’ll get injured while these are
I’ll get injured while these are important considerations they vary
important considerations they vary
important considerations they vary absolute so you can think about it in a
absolute so you can think about it in a
absolute so you can think about it in a way that makes you evaluate your
way that makes you evaluate your
way that makes you evaluate your experience when you work out when you’re
experience when you work out when you’re
experience when you work out when you’re so so that one experience can give you
so so that one experience can give you
so so that one experience can give you insight into the whole process so the
insight into the whole process so the
insight into the whole process so the first ten minutes you warm up well your
first ten minutes you warm up well your
first ten minutes you warm up well your blood starts flowing and you feel like
blood starts flowing and you feel like
blood starts flowing and you feel like you can move infinitely better than you
you can move infinitely better than you
you can move infinitely better than you perceive because your sonís is slowly
perceive because your sonís is slowly
perceive because your sonís is slowly started to evaporate that’s interesting
started to evaporate that’s interesting
started to evaporate that’s interesting to note not because you should think
to note not because you should think
to note not because you should think that Oh a good warm-up I should just
that Oh a good warm-up I should just
that Oh a good warm-up I should just exercise every time I’m sure that’s not
exercise every time I’m sure that’s not
exercise every time I’m sure that’s not what I’m trying to say I’m trying to say
what I’m trying to say I’m trying to say
what I’m trying to say I’m trying to say that you should be able to make links
that you should be able to make links
that you should be able to make links between your perceived ability of
between your perceived ability of
between your perceived ability of soreness your actual ability to carry
soreness your actual ability to carry
soreness your actual ability to carry out a workout and that’s how you can
out a workout and that’s how you can
out a workout and that’s how you can while acting differently make informed
while acting differently make informed
while acting differently make informed decisions
decisions
decisions so because you’re making these
so because you’re making these
so because you’re making these continuously informed decisions you’re
continuously informed decisions you’re
continuously informed decisions you’re getting better and better you’re
getting better and better you’re
getting better and better you’re improving performance and that’s what we
improving performance and that’s what we
improving performance and that’s what we really trying to get it but before that
really trying to get it but before that
really trying to get it but before that I want to take a little bit of an aside
I want to take a little bit of an aside
I want to take a little bit of an aside to tell you about a question that I
to tell you about a question that I
to tell you about a question that I asked in this schools very auditorium
asked in this schools very auditorium
asked in this schools very auditorium about four years ago I asked Leander
about four years ago I asked Leander
about four years ago I asked Leander Paes a well-known tennis player a
Paes a well-known tennis player a
Paes a well-known tennis player a question a question that was would you
question a question that was would you
question a question that was would you rather play better and win or not and
rather play better and win or not and
rather play better and win or not and lose and this question is getting at a
lose and this question is getting at a
lose and this question is getting at a lot of what we’ve talked about the idea
lot of what we’ve talked about the idea
lot of what we’ve talked about the idea that we need to question the intangible
that we need to question the intangible
that we need to question the intangible processes that create results and not be
processes that create results and not be
processes that create results and not be drowned out by how they make us feel or
drowned out by how they make us feel or
drowned out by how they make us feel or how we appear them to be I didn’t
how we appear them to be I didn’t
how we appear them to be I didn’t understand this question four years ago
understand this question four years ago
understand this question four years ago I do now
I do now
I do now reflection is being consistently curious
reflection is being consistently curious
reflection is being consistently curious about every action where an action and
about every action where an action and
about every action where an action and reformed action will lead to improve
reformed action will lead to improve
reformed action will lead to improve decision-making which is where we
decision-making which is where we
decision-making which is where we started to get the qualities we want and
started to get the qualities we want and
started to get the qualities we want and therefore achieve the goals we desire in
therefore achieve the goals we desire in
therefore achieve the goals we desire in essence what I’m really trying to say is
essence what I’m really trying to say is
essence what I’m really trying to say is that treat F pearance
that treat F pearance
that treat F pearance like a science experiment something you
like a science experiment something you
like a science experiment something you would subject to critical and honest
would subject to critical and honest
would subject to critical and honest inquiry you need to ask yourself
inquiry you need to ask yourself
inquiry you need to ask yourself questions that critically test your
questions that critically test your
questions that critically test your mental makeup like am I really good
mental makeup like am I really good
mental makeup like am I really good enough is am i doing everything that I’m
enough is am i doing everything that I’m
enough is am i doing everything that I’m doing and if I’m not why am I not doing
doing and if I’m not why am I not doing
doing and if I’m not why am I not doing that why do I feel this particular way
that why do I feel this particular way
that why do I feel this particular way and what does that tell me about how I
and what does that tell me about how I
and what does that tell me about how I can improve my life that’s really what
can improve my life that’s really what
can improve my life that’s really what I’m trying to take away that’s really
I’m trying to take away that’s really
I’m trying to take away that’s really what I’m trying to conclude with the
what I’m trying to conclude with the
what I’m trying to conclude with the beauty about reflective learning is that
beauty about reflective learning is that
beauty about reflective learning is that it can help you achieve tangible goals
it can help you achieve tangible goals
it can help you achieve tangible goals without needing to constantly fixated on
without needing to constantly fixated on
without needing to constantly fixated on them and I think that’s an idea worth
them and I think that’s an idea worth
them and I think that’s an idea worth spreading thank you
spreading thank you
spreading thank you [Applause]
”
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