[Applause] thank you all for being here this has
thank you all for being here this has
thank you all for being here this has been such an amazing incredible day I
been such an amazing incredible day I
been such an amazing incredible day I wish I could refer to every single
wish I could refer to every single
wish I could refer to every single speaker who all spoke exactly what I’m
speaker who all spoke exactly what I’m
speaker who all spoke exactly what I’m feeling but I’m just going to sing this
feeling but I’m just going to sing this
feeling but I’m just going to sing this song
[Music]
[Music] I’ve been waiting all alone you don’t
I’ve been waiting all alone you don’t
I’ve been waiting all alone you don’t even have your phone dropped it in a
even have your phone dropped it in a
even have your phone dropped it in a creek in Costa Rica but you’ll be coming
creek in Costa Rica but you’ll be coming
creek in Costa Rica but you’ll be coming back this way all they gave me never
back this way all they gave me never
back this way all they gave me never play on a negate I knew
between nights showing me that I’m
between nights showing me that I’m alright the universe is on my side and
I’m gonna smoke a cigarette haven’t
I’m gonna smoke a cigarette haven’t given up just yet driving home late all
given up just yet driving home late all
given up just yet driving home late all the windows down and go in but suddenly
the windows down and go in but suddenly
the windows down and go in but suddenly I feel so free giving you the best of me
I feel so free giving you the best of me
I feel so free giving you the best of me I’m all grown up and I’m determined to
I’m all grown up and I’m determined to
I’m all grown up and I’m determined to keep
keep
keep Rowen showing me that I’m alright
Rowen showing me that I’m alright
Rowen showing me that I’m alright the universe is on my side and online
I’m alive at 46 still got things I wanna
I’m alive at 46 still got things I wanna fix a little older but more wise and
fix a little older but more wise and
fix a little older but more wise and bigger heart a bigger size and I got all
bigger heart a bigger size and I got all
bigger heart a bigger size and I got all that I need feed the mouths I wanna feed
that I need feed the mouths I wanna feed
that I need feed the mouths I wanna feed got my water got my Sun I got love for
got my water got my Sun I got love for
got my water got my Sun I got love for everyone I can see the twinkling lights
everyone I can see the twinkling lights
everyone I can see the twinkling lights showing me what’s wrong and right
showing me what’s wrong and right
showing me what’s wrong and right showing me that life goes on
showing me that life goes on
showing me that life goes on gotta me to Avalon showing me the moon
gotta me to Avalon showing me the moon
gotta me to Avalon showing me the moon will shine showing me that you’re still
will shine showing me that you’re still
will shine showing me that you’re still mine the universe is on my side I’m
mine the universe is on my side I’m
mine the universe is on my side I’m alive
I’m alive
I’m alive [Music]
Oh
Oh [Music]
the universe is on my side
the universe is on my side [Music]
thank you so much you know this is the
thank you so much you know this is the biggest crowd I’ve ever done my solo
biggest crowd I’ve ever done my solo
biggest crowd I’ve ever done my solo material in front of so this is exciting
material in front of so this is exciting
material in front of so this is exciting I’ve been dreaming about this for years
I’ve been dreaming about this for years
I’ve been dreaming about this for years and that’s a song that was inspired by
and that’s a song that was inspired by
and that’s a song that was inspired by the view from my house which many songs
the view from my house which many songs
the view from my house which many songs are that I’ve written I look down at the
are that I’ve written I look down at the
are that I’ve written I look down at the twinkling lights of Portland and I feel
twinkling lights of Portland and I feel
twinkling lights of Portland and I feel like it reminds me that I’m alive and
like it reminds me that I’m alive and
like it reminds me that I’m alive and you’re all alive too and that’s a great
you’re all alive too and that’s a great
you’re all alive too and that’s a great feeling
feeling
feeling and that bridge in the middle you know
and that bridge in the middle you know
and that bridge in the middle you know there’s so many things that we encounter
there’s so many things that we encounter
there’s so many things that we encounter along the way that make us feel like we
along the way that make us feel like we
along the way that make us feel like we should feel ashamed of our age or our
should feel ashamed of our age or our
should feel ashamed of our age or our weight or our divorces or or what else
weight or our divorces or or what else
weight or our divorces or or what else what else can we feel ashamed of you
what else can we feel ashamed of you
what else can we feel ashamed of you know so many things our mistakes our
know so many things our mistakes our
know so many things our mistakes our failures and I decided that I am done
failures and I decided that I am done
failures and I decided that I am done with shame
so being alive at 46 is actually and
so being alive at 46 is actually and it’s an amazing thing and not everybody
it’s an amazing thing and not everybody
it’s an amazing thing and not everybody is lucky enough to make it to 46 which
is lucky enough to make it to 46 which
is lucky enough to make it to 46 which is kind of amazing you know you think
is kind of amazing you know you think
is kind of amazing you know you think when you’re young like that’s so that’s
when you’re young like that’s so that’s
when you’re young like that’s so that’s not that old but my dear dear friend and
not that old but my dear dear friend and
not that old but my dear dear friend and bandmate
bandmate
bandmate Derek wreath made it to 43 and he was
Derek wreath made it to 43 and he was
Derek wreath made it to 43 and he was this beautiful person I’m sure all of
this beautiful person I’m sure all of
this beautiful person I’m sure all of you were probably touched by him too and
you were probably touched by him too and
you were probably touched by him too and we all remember him and carry him in our
we all remember him and carry him in our
we all remember him and carry him in our hearts still but um he took his own life
hearts still but um he took his own life
hearts still but um he took his own life and he suffered very seriously from
and he suffered very seriously from
and he suffered very seriously from depression and the sad thing the saddest
depression and the sad thing the saddest
depression and the sad thing the saddest thing about Derek to me was that
thing about Derek to me was that
thing about Derek to me was that whenever he was so easy to be around and
whenever he was so easy to be around and
whenever he was so easy to be around and this docile friendly lovable hugging
this docile friendly lovable hugging
this docile friendly lovable hugging person I would ask him how he was and he
person I would ask him how he was and he
person I would ask him how he was and he would say I’m morbidly depressed and
would say I’m morbidly depressed and
would say I’m morbidly depressed and then when he was having a manic episode
then when he was having a manic episode
then when he was having a manic episode and he was incredibly inspired and
and he was incredibly inspired and
and he was incredibly inspired and incredibly alive people ran from him and
incredibly alive people ran from him and
incredibly alive people ran from him and they didn’t understand it and he was
they didn’t understand it and he was
they didn’t understand it and he was never able to figure out how to
never able to figure out how to
never able to figure out how to reconcile feeling that great feeling
reconcile feeling that great feeling
reconcile feeling that great feeling with being accepted by his peers
with being accepted by his peers
with being accepted by his peers so it was too much for him um but at one
so it was too much for him um but at one
so it was too much for him um but at one point when he was very depressed just
point when he was very depressed just
point when he was very depressed just the summer like right before he died I
the summer like right before he died I
the summer like right before he died I sent him an email because I I feel like
sent him an email because I I feel like
sent him an email because I I feel like I really understood him and I I sent him
I really understood him and I I sent him
I really understood him and I I sent him this list of imagery that I thought
this list of imagery that I thought
this list of imagery that I thought would help him just let go of resisting
would help him just let go of resisting
would help him just let go of resisting the depression and just to rise to sort
the depression and just to rise to sort
the depression and just to rise to sort of imagine he was in the water and he’d
of imagine he was in the water and he’d
of imagine he was in the water and he’d been sinking and drowning and if he just
been sinking and drowning and if he just
been sinking and drowning and if he just let go and floated to the surface he
let go and floated to the surface he
let go and floated to the surface he would feel the Sun on his face and he
would feel the Sun on his face and he
would feel the Sun on his face and he after he died and I never got to see him
after he died and I never got to see him
after he died and I never got to see him do that I saw this list I had written
do that I saw this list I had written
do that I saw this list I had written and it looked like a song so I wrote
and it looked like a song so I wrote
and it looked like a song so I wrote this song and I want to sing it today
this song and I want to sing it today
this song and I want to sing it today for anyone who is suffering from
for anyone who is suffering from
for anyone who is suffering from depression or the stigma of depression
depression or the stigma of depression
depression or the stigma of depression and this is for Derek wreath
and this is for Derek wreath
and this is for Derek wreath and there’s a part for you to sing with
and there’s a part for you to sing with
and there’s a part for you to sing with me at the end will you sing with me okay
so you’re just gonna say the word rise
so you’re just gonna say the word rise and everybody can sing this part first
and then Sophie Von Trapp and anyone
and then Sophie Von Trapp and anyone else who knows how to harmonize
okay so when it comes in everybody come
okay so when it comes in everybody come in on that and then people who want to
in on that and then people who want to
in on that and then people who want to harmonize go
right rise to the surface on the water
right rise to the surface on the water so you can feel the Sun on your face
so you can feel the Sun on your face
so you can feel the Sun on your face again I can’t believe I’ll never meet
again I can’t believe I’ll never meet
again I can’t believe I’ll never meet your son or daughter or be the one to
your son or daughter or be the one to
your son or daughter or be the one to remind you you’ve got a friend
everybody knows you just come back from
everybody knows you just come back from 10 breathe daily comes round again fake
10 breathe daily comes round again fake
10 breathe daily comes round again fake smile yeah just pretend they think they
smile yeah just pretend they think they
smile yeah just pretend they think they know it they think they know where but
know it they think they know where but
know it they think they know where but if you rise
if you rise
if you rise [Music]
[Music]
[Music] and all of the open sky I know it’s hard
and all of the open sky I know it’s hard
and all of the open sky I know it’s hard only getting harder to keep from singing
only getting harder to keep from singing
only getting harder to keep from singing to the bottom in the blink of a mother’s
to the bottom in the blink of a mother’s
to the bottom in the blink of a mother’s eye
remember nothing’s changed just your
remember nothing’s changed just your state of mind
state of mind
state of mind fake the ball you leave behind your
fake the ball you leave behind your
fake the ball you leave behind your lives the same as it was before just
lives the same as it was before just
lives the same as it was before just can’t feel it you just can’t
can’t feel it you just can’t
can’t feel it you just can’t [Music]
you
you remember nothing’s changed just your
remember nothing’s changed just your
remember nothing’s changed just your state of mind Hey
your lives the same as it was before
your lives the same as it was before you just can’t feel it you just can’t
you just can’t feel it you just can’t
you just can’t feel it you just can’t [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
to the surface on the water so you can’t
to the surface on the water so you can’t feel
I can’t
I can’t [Music]
[Music]
[Music] I’ll never meet your daughter will be
I’ll never meet your daughter will be
I’ll never meet your daughter will be the one to remind you you got a friend
the one to remind you you got a friend
the one to remind you you got a friend or be the one to remind you to just say
you’re the one
you’re the one [Music]
ah
ah [Music]
[Music]
[Music] you
”
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