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The Ten Years After You Graduate High School | Stacie Sybersma | TEDxUCCI


in January I received the invitation to

in January I received the invitation to attend my 10-year high school reunion

attend my 10-year high school reunion

attend my 10-year high school reunion and I was shocked high school did not

and I was shocked high school did not

and I was shocked high school did not feel like it was ten years ago

feel like it was ten years ago

feel like it was ten years ago so to be invited to something that was a

so to be invited to something that was a

so to be invited to something that was a celebration of 10 years when it only

celebration of 10 years when it only

celebration of 10 years when it only felt like a couple months maybe a year

felt like a couple months maybe a year

felt like a couple months maybe a year or two really threw me for a loop I

or two really threw me for a loop I

or two really threw me for a loop I began thinking of what reunions meant to

began thinking of what reunions meant to

began thinking of what reunions meant to me and ideas of TV shows and movies

me and ideas of TV shows and movies

me and ideas of TV shows and movies where they depict cheerleaders marrying

where they depict cheerleaders marrying

where they depict cheerleaders marrying deadbeat guys and jocks getting fat and

deadbeat guys and jocks getting fat and

deadbeat guys and jocks getting fat and bald were the only images that I had and

bald were the only images that I had and

bald were the only images that I had and they were very critical and

they were very critical and

they were very critical and condescending and they weren’t very

condescending and they weren’t very

condescending and they weren’t very inviting or warm I began going through

inviting or warm I began going through

inviting or warm I began going through all my accomplishments over the last ten

all my accomplishments over the last ten

all my accomplishments over the last ten years thinking about what I’ve done and

years thinking about what I’ve done and

years thinking about what I’ve done and what I would tell my classmates this

what I would tell my classmates this

what I would tell my classmates this place as I went to school the degrees

place as I went to school the degrees

place as I went to school the degrees I’ve collected the places that I’ve

I’ve collected the places that I’ve

I’ve collected the places that I’ve traveled to where I’ve lived my job but

traveled to where I’ve lived my job but

traveled to where I’ve lived my job but something about that felt really hollow

something about that felt really hollow

something about that felt really hollow like that was not possibly all I’ve done

like that was not possibly all I’ve done

like that was not possibly all I’ve done over the last 10 years so I kept mulling

over the last 10 years so I kept mulling

over the last 10 years so I kept mulling this over in my mind what I’ve

this over in my mind what I’ve

this over in my mind what I’ve accomplished reunions and something

accomplished reunions and something

accomplished reunions and something became clear to me while I was doing

became clear to me while I was doing

became clear to me while I was doing that and that was but the last 10 years

that and that was but the last 10 years

that and that was but the last 10 years of my life my biggest accomplishment

of my life my biggest accomplishment

of my life my biggest accomplishment wasn’t that I’ve gotten degrees and I’ve

wasn’t that I’ve gotten degrees and I’ve

wasn’t that I’ve gotten degrees and I’ve started a great job and I live in a

started a great job and I live in a

started a great job and I live in a fancy condo it was that I’ve grown from

fancy condo it was that I’ve grown from

fancy condo it was that I’ve grown from the person that I was in high school

the person that I was in high school

the person that I was in high school into a confident self-sufficient adult

the ten years after high school are

the ten years after high school are really hard there are a lot of young

really hard there are a lot of young

really hard there are a lot of young people in the room today and this talk

people in the room today and this talk

people in the room today and this talk is catered to you the people who are in

is catered to you the people who are in

is catered to you the people who are in the process of this ten-year journey

the process of this ten-year journey

the process of this ten-year journey you’re gonna learn a lot of hard lessons

you’re gonna learn a lot of hard lessons

you’re gonna learn a lot of hard lessons but heartbreak and failure and picking

but heartbreak and failure and picking

but heartbreak and failure and picking yourself up when you’re when you’ve

yourself up when you’re when you’ve

yourself up when you’re when you’ve fallen down but when you get through

fallen down but when you get through

fallen down but when you get through that and look back you’re gonna have

that and look back you’re gonna have

that and look back you’re gonna have such a sense of fulfillment and relief

such a sense of fulfillment and relief

such a sense of fulfillment and relief and joy and celebration to the person

and joy and celebration to the person

and joy and celebration to the person that you become as you journey through

that you become as you journey through

that you become as you journey through all those really hard lessons you have

all those really hard lessons you have

all those really hard lessons you have to find your path during this time

to find your path during this time

to find your path during this time Carrie

Carrie

Carrie and that’s really scary but you all set

and that’s really scary but you all set

and that’s really scary but you all set to find out who you are as a person and

to find out who you are as a person and

to find out who you are as a person and the lessons that I want to share with

the lessons that I want to share with

the lessons that I want to share with you today there are five are some of the

you today there are five are some of the

you today there are five are some of the things that I really learned over the

things that I really learned over the

things that I really learned over the last couple years that I hope help you

last couple years that I hope help you

last couple years that I hope help you all on your journey as you make your way

all on your journey as you make your way

all on your journey as you make your way through this time period as well so the

through this time period as well so the

through this time period as well so the first lesson that I have is to do what’s

first lesson that I have is to do what’s

first lesson that I have is to do what’s right for you and that sounds really

right for you and that sounds really

right for you and that sounds really simple you’re doing you every day you

simple you’re doing you every day you

simple you’re doing you every day you wake up you brush your teeth you go to

wake up you brush your teeth you go to

wake up you brush your teeth you go to work or school or or whatever it is that

work or school or or whatever it is that

work or school or or whatever it is that you spill your day doing but as you get

you spill your day doing but as you get

you spill your day doing but as you get older the voice is around you become

older the voice is around you become

older the voice is around you become quieter your teachers start giving you

quieter your teachers start giving you

quieter your teachers start giving you less instruction your parents take a

less instruction your parents take a

less instruction your parents take a step back and say no you have to figure

step back and say no you have to figure

step back and say no you have to figure this out and bosses give you even less

this out and bosses give you even less

this out and bosses give you even less feedback than both of them so how do you

feedback than both of them so how do you

feedback than both of them so how do you learn to manage that and navigate that

learn to manage that and navigate that

learn to manage that and navigate that for me this was a lesson that I learned

for me this was a lesson that I learned

for me this was a lesson that I learned in a very impactful moment it was a

in a very impactful moment it was a

in a very impactful moment it was a night and day difference a switch went

night and day difference a switch went

night and day difference a switch went off in my mind in high school I spent a

off in my mind in high school I spent a

off in my mind in high school I spent a lot of time doing performance arts I act

lot of time doing performance arts I act

lot of time doing performance arts I act and I sang I danced and I was involved

and I sang I danced and I was involved

and I sang I danced and I was involved in every single community theater

in every single community theater

in every single community theater production that I could possibly get my

production that I could possibly get my

production that I could possibly get my hands into the photo is actually of me

hands into the photo is actually of me

hands into the photo is actually of me dancing taken by Paul akin so when it

dancing taken by Paul akin so when it

dancing taken by Paul akin so when it came time to go off to a higher

came time to go off to a higher

came time to go off to a higher education it was natural it wasn’t

education it was natural it wasn’t

education it was natural it wasn’t really a question I was gonna go pursue

really a question I was gonna go pursue

really a question I was gonna go pursue performance art I was gonna act and sing

performance art I was gonna act and sing

performance art I was gonna act and sing and dance all day long you know maybe

and dance all day long you know maybe

and dance all day long you know maybe teach maybe if I was really lucky become

teach maybe if I was really lucky become

teach maybe if I was really lucky become a performer and get paid to do this so I

a performer and get paid to do this so I

a performer and get paid to do this so I auditioned and I got into a school and I

auditioned and I got into a school and I

auditioned and I got into a school and I started but something wasn’t quite right

started but something wasn’t quite right

started but something wasn’t quite right I wasn’t as happy as I should have been

I wasn’t as happy as I should have been

I wasn’t as happy as I should have been and the little things would really set

and the little things would really set

and the little things would really set me off and give me a really bad day I

me off and give me a really bad day I

me off and give me a really bad day I finished the first semester went home

finished the first semester went home

finished the first semester went home for Christmas break reconnected with my

for Christmas break reconnected with my

for Christmas break reconnected with my family my friends and my home and when I

family my friends and my home and when I

family my friends and my home and when I went back to school for that second

went back to school for that second

went back to school for that second semester I realized that something was

semester I realized that something was

semester I realized that something was really wrong it wasn’t just kind of off

really wrong it wasn’t just kind of off

really wrong it wasn’t just kind of off it was wrong I called my mom in tears

it was wrong I called my mom in tears

it was wrong I called my mom in tears like I don’t understand I should be so

like I don’t understand I should be so

like I don’t understand I should be so happy right now this is my dream come

happy right now this is my dream come

happy right now this is my dream come true but the subways late and I want to

true but the subways late and I want to

true but the subways late and I want to cry or my classmate says something

cry or my classmate says something

cry or my classmate says something something to me and I’m a mess for the

something to me and I’m a mess for the

something to me and I’m a mess for the rest of the day this isn’t normal and

rest of the day this isn’t normal and

rest of the day this isn’t normal and it’s not healthy what’s wrong with me

it’s not healthy what’s wrong with me

it’s not healthy what’s wrong with me and my mom said well is this right for

and my mom said well is this right for

and my mom said well is this right for you and the answer was no we have to

you and the answer was no we have to

you and the answer was no we have to find a way to listen to that tiny voice

find a way to listen to that tiny voice

find a way to listen to that tiny voice inside of us now while you’re young

inside of us now while you’re young

inside of us now while you’re young before you have kids and a mortgage or

before you have kids and a mortgage or

before you have kids and a mortgage or you’re 30 years into a very established

you’re 30 years into a very established

you’re 30 years into a very established career and you the idea of starting over

career and you the idea of starting over

career and you the idea of starting over again is terrifying

again is terrifying

again is terrifying taking the time to develop that voice

taking the time to develop that voice

taking the time to develop that voice that gut feeling whatever is for you to

that gut feeling whatever is for you to

that gut feeling whatever is for you to navigate major decision is critical and

navigate major decision is critical and

navigate major decision is critical and as you do that and gain confidence in

as you do that and gain confidence in

as you do that and gain confidence in that voice and in that decision-making

that voice and in that decision-making

that voice and in that decision-making process you’re gonna build a life based

process you’re gonna build a life based

process you’re gonna build a life based on decisions that you are so happy with

on decisions that you are so happy with

on decisions that you are so happy with and you’re going to create a life that’s

and you’re going to create a life that’s

and you’re going to create a life that’s so content and amazing and fulfilling

so content and amazing and fulfilling

so content and amazing and fulfilling that you couldn’t imagine it any other

that you couldn’t imagine it any other

that you couldn’t imagine it any other way the second lesson that I have for

way the second lesson that I have for

way the second lesson that I have for you is to accept yourself for who you

you is to accept yourself for who you

you is to accept yourself for who you are every single person on the planet

are every single person on the planet

are every single person on the planet has something about themselves that they

has something about themselves that they

has something about themselves that they don’t like some people are better at

don’t like some people are better at

don’t like some people are better at hiding it than others that’s something

hiding it than others that’s something

hiding it than others that’s something that I’ve learned with my over this last

that I’ve learned with my over this last

that I’ve learned with my over this last 10 years but everyone has that thing it

10 years but everyone has that thing it

10 years but everyone has that thing it could be physical it could be mental it

could be physical it could be mental it

could be physical it could be mental it could be completely made up for me it

could be completely made up for me it

could be completely made up for me it was my height I had my growth spurt when

was my height I had my growth spurt when

was my height I had my growth spurt when I was quite young I was probably 12 13

I was quite young I was probably 12 13

I was quite young I was probably 12 13 when I grew m59

when I grew m59

when I grew m59 so that meant I was about a foot taller

so that meant I was about a foot taller

so that meant I was about a foot taller than all the boys in my class until

than all the boys in my class until

than all the boys in my class until college when they started to grow at

college when they started to grow at

college when they started to grow at ages 17 18 19 so I would float in photos

ages 17 18 19 so I would float in photos

ages 17 18 19 so I would float in photos I’d wear flat shoes I would do

I’d wear flat shoes I would do

I’d wear flat shoes I would do everything I could to create the

everything I could to create the

everything I could to create the illusion on social media that I wasn’t

illusion on social media that I wasn’t

illusion on social media that I wasn’t as tall but then I would look at those

as tall but then I would look at those

as tall but then I would look at those photos and I wouldn’t feel any

photos and I wouldn’t feel any

photos and I wouldn’t feel any satisfaction because I looked

satisfaction because I looked

satisfaction because I looked unattractive because I was loved tching

unattractive because I was loved tching

unattractive because I was loved tching or standing kind of crooked to try and

or standing kind of crooked to try and

or standing kind of crooked to try and make myself the same height as my peers

learning to accept myself for who I was

learning to accept myself for who I was wasn’t an overnight snap of the fingers

wasn’t an overnight snap of the fingers

wasn’t an overnight snap of the fingers moment it was a full 10 year process and

moment it was a full 10 year process and

moment it was a full 10 year process and some days I wake up and I’m looking at

some days I wake up and I’m looking at

some days I wake up and I’m looking at my closet it’s like do I want to be six

my closet it’s like do I want to be six

my closet it’s like do I want to be six foot tall and wear the heels or do I

foot tall and wear the heels or do I

foot tall and wear the heels or do I want to kind of blend in more and wear

want to kind of blend in more and wear

want to kind of blend in more and wear the flat but the point is it’s a

the flat but the point is it’s a

the flat but the point is it’s a decision you have to decide to accept

decision you have to decide to accept

decision you have to decide to accept yourself find one little thing to like a

yourself find one little thing to like a

yourself find one little thing to like a that thing that you don’t like then

that thing that you don’t like then

that thing that you don’t like then build on it slowly create a foundation a

build on it slowly create a foundation a

build on it slowly create a foundation a baseline where you can be find a sense

baseline where you can be find a sense

baseline where you can be find a sense of acceptance for yourself no it could

of acceptance for yourself no it could

of acceptance for yourself no it could be a mental thing it could be maybe the

be a mental thing it could be maybe the

be a mental thing it could be maybe the way you answer questions or the way

way you answer questions or the way

way you answer questions or the way thoughts bounce around in your head or

thoughts bounce around in your head or

thoughts bounce around in your head or it could be the way you laugh

it could be the way you laugh

it could be the way you laugh maybe it’s an ethnicity issue or a

maybe it’s an ethnicity issue or a

maybe it’s an ethnicity issue or a heritage issue where you’ve got

heritage issue where you’ve got

heritage issue where you’ve got multiracial parents everyone has

multiracial parents everyone has

multiracial parents everyone has something that they’re self-conscious

something that they’re self-conscious

something that they’re self-conscious about so find a way just start the

about so find a way just start the

about so find a way just start the acceptance process and work through it

acceptance process and work through it

acceptance process and work through it because it’ll take you places that you

because it’ll take you places that you

because it’ll take you places that you never thought you could have imagined

never thought you could have imagined

never thought you could have imagined now the third lesson is hopefully gonna

now the third lesson is hopefully gonna

now the third lesson is hopefully gonna lighten things up a bit because those

lighten things up a bit because those

lighten things up a bit because those are two kind of heavy thought-provoking

are two kind of heavy thought-provoking

are two kind of heavy thought-provoking ideas and that was to find your sense of

ideas and that was to find your sense of

ideas and that was to find your sense of humor life is gonna throw at you bad

humor life is gonna throw at you bad

humor life is gonna throw at you bad days and you think it’s bad and it’s 12

days and you think it’s bad and it’s 12

days and you think it’s bad and it’s 12 o’clock and you’re like oh god how could

o’clock and you’re like oh god how could

o’clock and you’re like oh god how could it get any worse and then you know what

it get any worse and then you know what

it get any worse and then you know what it does we’ve all had those days where

it does we’ve all had those days where

it does we’ve all had those days where we’re late we spill coffee all over

we’re late we spill coffee all over

we’re late we spill coffee all over ourself you’ve got a big meeting with

ourself you’ve got a big meeting with

ourself you’ve got a big meeting with boss we come in here strafe or if you’re

boss we come in here strafe or if you’re

boss we come in here strafe or if you’re a girl maybe stain or unshaven if you’re

a girl maybe stain or unshaven if you’re

a girl maybe stain or unshaven if you’re a guy it happens now the question is how

a guy it happens now the question is how

a guy it happens now the question is how are you gonna deal with it are you gonna

are you gonna deal with it are you gonna

are you gonna deal with it are you gonna criticize yourself for the rest of the

criticize yourself for the rest of the

criticize yourself for the rest of the day and hold your head down and and

day and hold your head down and and

day and hold your head down and and struggle through or are you gonna find a

struggle through or are you gonna find a

struggle through or are you gonna find a way to laugh it off and move forward and

way to laugh it off and move forward and

way to laugh it off and move forward and be your own cheerleader growing up I

be your own cheerleader growing up I

be your own cheerleader growing up I grew up in a house with three dogs and I

grew up in a house with three dogs and I

grew up in a house with three dogs and I took the stands no being dramatic and

took the stands no being dramatic and

took the stands no being dramatic and having teenage angst that I didn’t like

having teenage angst that I didn’t like

having teenage angst that I didn’t like dogs no logical reason at all just the

dogs no logical reason at all just the

dogs no logical reason at all just the fact that I wanted to probably to annoy

fact that I wanted to probably to annoy

fact that I wanted to probably to annoy my parents and not liking the dogs did

my parents and not liking the dogs did

my parents and not liking the dogs did that so I would make a huge stink about

that so I would make a huge stink about

that so I would make a huge stink about it

it

it complaining about the hair and the

complaining about the hair and the

complaining about the hair and the barking and wouldn’t help out with them

barking and wouldn’t help out with them

barking and wouldn’t help out with them at all but when I moved away to school

at all but when I moved away to school

at all but when I moved away to school something happened that I never expected

something happened that I never expected

something happened that I never expected I missed them I missed the dogs and I

I missed them I missed the dogs and I

I missed them I missed the dogs and I couldn’t tell my parents because of all

couldn’t tell my parents because of all

couldn’t tell my parents because of all the fuss that I had spent making over

the fuss that I had spent making over

the fuss that I had spent making over the last 10 years if I told them that

the last 10 years if I told them that

the last 10 years if I told them that would open the door to teasing that I

would open the door to teasing that I

would open the door to teasing that I did not want to experience but missing

did not want to experience but missing

did not want to experience but missing them didn’t go away and hiding from the

them didn’t go away and hiding from the

them didn’t go away and hiding from the fact that I liked dogs wasn’t helpful

fact that I liked dogs wasn’t helpful

fact that I liked dogs wasn’t helpful either because I was in the process of

either because I was in the process of

either because I was in the process of adopting my own little cutie so one day

adopting my own little cutie so one day

adopting my own little cutie so one day I told them hey guys

I told them hey guys

I told them hey guys I really actually like dogs surprised

I really actually like dogs surprised

I really actually like dogs surprised and accepted the teasing and it still

and accepted the teasing and it still

and accepted the teasing and it still happens to this day they still tease me

happens to this day they still tease me

happens to this day they still tease me about it

about it

about it but the fact is I can laugh it off you

but the fact is I can laugh it off you

but the fact is I can laugh it off you have to find a way to roll it off your

have to find a way to roll it off your

have to find a way to roll it off your shoulder and praise yourself be your own

shoulder and praise yourself be your own

shoulder and praise yourself be your own cheerleader because the world is doing

cheerleader because the world is doing

cheerleader because the world is doing enough criticizing for you already you

enough criticizing for you already you

enough criticizing for you already you don’t need to be adding to that list the

don’t need to be adding to that list the

don’t need to be adding to that list the fourth lesson that I have is to take a

fourth lesson that I have is to take a

fourth lesson that I have is to take a leap of faith we’re all going to be

leap of faith we’re all going to be

leap of faith we’re all going to be given opportunities they might look a

given opportunities they might look a

given opportunities they might look a little different than we expect when I

little different than we expect when I

little different than we expect when I was applying to grad U at schools a

was applying to grad U at schools a

was applying to grad U at schools a professor told me you have to pick a

professor told me you have to pick a

professor told me you have to pick a school based off of the professors and

school based off of the professors and

school based off of the professors and the research outputs of that University

the research outputs of that University

the research outputs of that University don’t pick it off of the name of the

don’t pick it off of the name of the

don’t pick it off of the name of the school the location you really want to

school the location you really want to

school the location you really want to pick it based on the maximum outcome of

pick it based on the maximum outcome of

pick it based on the maximum outcome of education that you can get so taking

education that you can get so taking

education that you can get so taking this information to heart I began my

this information to heart I began my

this information to heart I began my search researching different schools

search researching different schools

search researching different schools being from the Caribbean my scope was

being from the Caribbean my scope was

being from the Caribbean my scope was pointed at the equator and maybe

pointed at the equator and maybe

pointed at the equator and maybe Australia for her surfer dudes but I had

Australia for her surfer dudes but I had

Australia for her surfer dudes but I had no intention of actually going there and

no intention of actually going there and

no intention of actually going there and I wasn’t finding what I was looking for

I wasn’t finding what I was looking for

I wasn’t finding what I was looking for the professors weren’t quite researching

the professors weren’t quite researching

the professors weren’t quite researching the exact area I wanted to be in the

the exact area I wanted to be in the

the exact area I wanted to be in the research outputs weren’t quite as

research outputs weren’t quite as

research outputs weren’t quite as interdisciplinary as I had hoped so I

interdisciplinary as I had hoped so I

interdisciplinary as I had hoped so I kept looking and I kept looking and I

kept looking and I kept looking and I

kept looking and I kept looking and I still wasn’t finding it so one day in a

still wasn’t finding it so one day in a

still wasn’t finding it so one day in a very frustrated mental state I began to

very frustrated mental state I began to

very frustrated mental state I began to slam in key words into Google angry

slam in key words into Google angry

slam in key words into Google angry typing no take up the aggression on your

typing no take up the aggression on your

typing no take up the aggression on your keyboard and I put in words like marine

keyboard and I put in words like marine

keyboard and I put in words like marine and management and interdisciplinary and

and management and interdisciplinary and

and management and interdisciplinary and law and policy and coastal management

law and policy and coastal management

law and policy and coastal management and out pop this program first hit that

and out pop this program first hit that

and out pop this program first hit that seemed almost too good to be true it was

seemed almost too good to be true it was

seemed almost too good to be true it was doing the exact sort of research I was

doing the exact sort of research I was

doing the exact sort of research I was looking for with professors that were

looking for with professors that were

looking for with professors that were with the experience just that I was

with the experience just that I was

with the experience just that I was looking for with alumni and jobs that I

looking for with alumni and jobs that I

looking for with alumni and jobs that I would dream of having the kicker was it

would dream of having the kicker was it

would dream of having the kicker was it was a Nova Scotia Canada not near the

was a Nova Scotia Canada not near the

was a Nova Scotia Canada not near the equator at all a very hard place to get

equator at all a very hard place to get

equator at all a very hard place to get to from the Caribbean so I had to make

to from the Caribbean so I had to make

to from the Caribbean so I had to make the

the

the do I take this opportunity or do I let

do I take this opportunity or do I let

do I take this opportunity or do I let it pass me by I had the financial

it pass me by I had the financial

it pass me by I had the financial resources to go I got accepted into the

resources to go I got accepted into the

resources to go I got accepted into the program and it was exactly what I was

program and it was exactly what I was

program and it was exactly what I was looking for well I made the decision to

looking for well I made the decision to

looking for well I made the decision to go and it was fantastic it opened door

go and it was fantastic it opened door

go and it was fantastic it opened door after door after door research projects

after door after door research projects

after door after door research projects led to jobs which led to the job I have

led to jobs which led to the job I have

led to jobs which led to the job I have today which I love so opportunities are

today which I love so opportunities are

today which I love so opportunities are gonna be presented to you but they may

gonna be presented to you but they may

gonna be presented to you but they may not look what how you’re expecting the

not look what how you’re expecting the

not look what how you’re expecting the timing might be off the location might

timing might be off the location might

timing might be off the location might be off or the person may be off but if

be off or the person may be off but if

be off or the person may be off but if there is no real reason not to do it

there is no real reason not to do it

there is no real reason not to do it there is no block to your safety perhaps

there is no block to your safety perhaps

there is no block to your safety perhaps your finances then take it have

your finances then take it have

your finances then take it have confidence in your ability that you can

confidence in your ability that you can

confidence in your ability that you can master this step because one of two

master this step because one of two

master this step because one of two things can happen you’re either gonna

things can happen you’re either gonna

things can happen you’re either gonna hate it and okay that sounds scary at

hate it and okay that sounds scary at

hate it and okay that sounds scary at first you hate something but think about

first you hate something but think about

first you hate something but think about it

it

it you hate something you’ve just learned

you hate something you’ve just learned

you hate something you’ve just learned about whole new thing about yourself you

about whole new thing about yourself you

about whole new thing about yourself you probably didn’t know before which can

probably didn’t know before which can

probably didn’t know before which can help shape you making better decisions

help shape you making better decisions

help shape you making better decisions in the future or you like it maybe even

in the future or you like it maybe even

in the future or you like it maybe even love it and that opens door after door

love it and that opens door after door

love it and that opens door after door of opportunity and before you know

of opportunity and before you know

of opportunity and before you know you’ve built a life that you are so

you’ve built a life that you are so

you’ve built a life that you are so fulfilled with and so proud of to call

fulfilled with and so proud of to call

fulfilled with and so proud of to call your own so take it take that leap of

your own so take it take that leap of

your own so take it take that leap of faith the final lesson that I have for

faith the final lesson that I have for

faith the final lesson that I have for you is a combination of all the other

you is a combination of all the other

you is a combination of all the other lessons when you start to do what’s

lessons when you start to do what’s

lessons when you start to do what’s right for you you start to hone in on

right for you you start to hone in on

right for you you start to hone in on that inner voice that you have and

that inner voice that you have and

that inner voice that you have and driving your decisions based on what the

driving your decisions based on what the

driving your decisions based on what the best thing for you is and you start to

best thing for you is and you start to

best thing for you is and you start to accept yourself for who you are and stop

accept yourself for who you are and stop

accept yourself for who you are and stop trying to be anybody else and you find

trying to be anybody else and you find

trying to be anybody else and you find your sense of humor and become a

your sense of humor and become a

your sense of humor and become a cheerleader it’s opposed to a critic and

cheerleader it’s opposed to a critic and

cheerleader it’s opposed to a critic and you start embracing the silly things you

you start embracing the silly things you

you start embracing the silly things you do and then you start to have confidence

do and then you start to have confidence

do and then you start to have confidence in your ability and you take advantage

in your ability and you take advantage

in your ability and you take advantage of those opportunities those leaps of

of those opportunities those leaps of

of those opportunities those leaps of faith something starts to happen and you

faith something starts to happen and you

faith something starts to happen and you start to like yourself and that’s

start to like yourself and that’s

start to like yourself and that’s something we as a society don’t talk

something we as a society don’t talk

something we as a society don’t talk about very often is this idea of liking

about very often is this idea of liking

about very often is this idea of liking yourself and developing that like into

yourself and developing that like into

yourself and developing that like into love and I’m not talking about in a

love and I’m not talking about in a

love and I’m not talking about in a cocky way we’ve all seen those people in

cocky way we’ve all seen those people in

cocky way we’ve all seen those people in rooms with their chests up and and you

rooms with their chests up and and you

rooms with their chests up and and you think oh god who do they think

think oh god who do they think

think oh god who do they think they are for you know standing and

they are for you know standing and

they are for you know standing and having that aura about them I’m talking

having that aura about them I’m talking

having that aura about them I’m talking about liking yourself in a very humble

about liking yourself in a very humble

about liking yourself in a very humble and grounded way where you’re so at

and grounded way where you’re so at

and grounded way where you’re so at peace with the person that you are in

peace with the person that you are in

peace with the person that you are in the decisions that you’ve made in the

the decisions that you’ve made in the

the decisions that you’ve made in the life that you’ve created around you so

life that you’ve created around you so

life that you’ve created around you so you want other people to experience that

you want other people to experience that

you want other people to experience that you want to help others when you love

you want to help others when you love

you want to help others when you love yourself all the relationships around

yourself all the relationships around

yourself all the relationships around you start to change you start to build

you start to change you start to build

you start to change you start to build stronger relationships with your family

stronger relationships with your family

stronger relationships with your family with your friends intimate relationships

with your friends intimate relationships

with your friends intimate relationships with lovers it really starts to change

with lovers it really starts to change

with lovers it really starts to change how you interact with the world and how

how you interact with the world and how

how you interact with the world and how the world interacts with you and it’s

the world interacts with you and it’s

the world interacts with you and it’s something that I wish everyone can

something that I wish everyone can

something that I wish everyone can experience so wrapping up the talk and

experience so wrapping up the talk and

experience so wrapping up the talk and the idea of these five lessons I

the idea of these five lessons I

the idea of these five lessons I wouldn’t have got to where I am today

wouldn’t have got to where I am today

wouldn’t have got to where I am today without an incredible support network my

without an incredible support network my

without an incredible support network my family talked to me they told me stories

family talked to me they told me stories

family talked to me they told me stories when I had locked my keys out of my

when I had locked my keys out of my

when I had locked my keys out of my apartment and called them in tears

apartment and called them in tears

apartment and called them in tears because the super was on vacation and I

because the super was on vacation and I

because the super was on vacation and I didn’t know what to do I had no way of

didn’t know what to do I had no way of

didn’t know what to do I had no way of getting in there they consoled me and

getting in there they consoled me and

getting in there they consoled me and they told me stories that they had that

they told me stories that they had that

they told me stories that they had that were equivalent or when I had that big

were equivalent or when I had that big

were equivalent or when I had that big meeting and the coffee cup when draped

meeting and the coffee cup when draped

meeting and the coffee cup when draped down the front of my shirt and of course

down the front of my shirt and of course

down the front of my shirt and of course I was wearing a light color so though

I was wearing a light color so though

I was wearing a light color so though everyone in the conference room could

everyone in the conference room could

everyone in the conference room could see it call it called them and my dad

see it call it called them and my dad

see it call it called them and my dad told me a story of what he did something

told me a story of what he did something

told me a story of what he did something very similar we have to communicate with

very similar we have to communicate with

very similar we have to communicate with each other and talk more because you

each other and talk more because you

each other and talk more because you never know the impact of what something

never know the impact of what something

never know the impact of what something that you think it son significant can

that you think it son significant can

that you think it son significant can have on someone else so my challenge to

have on someone else so my challenge to

have on someone else so my challenge to everybody in this room today is one of

everybody in this room today is one of

everybody in this room today is one of two things and it will depend entirely

two things and it will depend entirely

two things and it will depend entirely on your age for those of you who are out

on your age for those of you who are out

on your age for those of you who are out of this 10-year period I want you to

of this 10-year period I want you to

of this 10-year period I want you to share your stories try and take an

share your stories try and take an

share your stories try and take an opportunity when a young person comes to

opportunity when a young person comes to

opportunity when a young person comes to you and say what’s happened to you what

you and say what’s happened to you what

you and say what’s happened to you what was equivalent help them not feel alone

was equivalent help them not feel alone

was equivalent help them not feel alone and like the world’s gonna end help them

and like the world’s gonna end help them

and like the world’s gonna end help them know that other people have been through

know that other people have been through

know that other people have been through this and that they will survive and

this and that they will survive and

this and that they will survive and young people in the room I want you to

young people in the room I want you to

young people in the room I want you to listen I didn’t I fought this battle

listen I didn’t I fought this battle

listen I didn’t I fought this battle uphill the entire way there until

uphill the entire way there until

uphill the entire way there until literally my only option was to try

literally my only option was to try

literally my only option was to try listening because all my other arguments

listening because all my other arguments

listening because all my other arguments and reason not to have failed they’ll

and reason not to have failed they’ll

and reason not to have failed they’ll listen to the stories in your life

listen to the stories in your life

listen to the stories in your life because there might be a nugget of

because there might be a nugget of

because there might be a nugget of information in there that helps you see

information in there that helps you see

information in there that helps you see something in a different way it might

something in a different way it might

something in a different way it might help you find some way to accept the

help you find some way to accept the

help you find some way to accept the thing about yourself that you don’t like

thing about yourself that you don’t like

thing about yourself that you don’t like this 10-year process is not easy it’s

this 10-year process is not easy it’s

this 10-year process is not easy it’s really hard and you’re faced with real

really hard and you’re faced with real

really hard and you’re faced with real challenges that you’ve never seen before

challenges that you’ve never seen before

challenges that you’ve never seen before financial issues maybe family issues

financial issues maybe family issues

financial issues maybe family issues maybe maybe getting married or having

maybe maybe getting married or having

maybe maybe getting married or having children but as you look back it can be

children but as you look back it can be

children but as you look back it can be so fulfilling and rewarding if you find

so fulfilling and rewarding if you find

so fulfilling and rewarding if you find ways to really love yourself so good

ways to really love yourself so good

ways to really love yourself so good luck to all you guys on the next 10

luck to all you guys on the next 10

luck to all you guys on the next 10 years of your life my reunion is in two

years of your life my reunion is in two

years of your life my reunion is in two weeks so I look forward to seeing how

weeks so I look forward to seeing how

weeks so I look forward to seeing how that goes thank you

that goes thank you

that goes thank you [Applause]

”

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