dear Elia sometimes I think of killing myself I can remember two moments
myself I can remember two moments
myself I can remember two moments clearly one lying in bed next to your
clearly one lying in bed next to your
clearly one lying in bed next to your tiny always needing body exhausted
tiny always needing body exhausted
tiny always needing body exhausted sleep-deprived for months
sleep-deprived for months
sleep-deprived for months seeing no way out there was no way out
seeing no way out there was no way out
seeing no way out there was no way out two sitting on the edge of the bed as
two sitting on the edge of the bed as
two sitting on the edge of the bed as her father walked out of the room out of
her father walked out of the room out of
her father walked out of the room out of my life
my life
my life a disembowelment my dreams of love and
a disembowelment my dreams of love and
a disembowelment my dreams of love and partnership family spilling out onto the
partnership family spilling out onto the
partnership family spilling out onto the floor from somewhere in my middle
floor from somewhere in my middle
floor from somewhere in my middle I still have flashes moments when I
I still have flashes moments when I
I still have flashes moments when I imagine slicing my wrist the acute burn
imagine slicing my wrist the acute burn
imagine slicing my wrist the acute burn of the cut the relief of not feeling
of the cut the relief of not feeling
of the cut the relief of not feeling anymore you have always kept me here
anymore you have always kept me here
anymore you have always kept me here resentfully so at first and now a life
resentfully so at first and now a life
resentfully so at first and now a life preserver
preserver
preserver an anchor a mission this thing called
an anchor a mission this thing called
an anchor a mission this thing called life is no joke the world is
life is no joke the world is
life is no joke the world is built on our backs our wombs are tears
built on our backs our wombs are tears
built on our backs our wombs are tears but it was not made for us and yet I
but it was not made for us and yet I
but it was not made for us and yet I claim it for us auntie Eliza writes the
claim it for us auntie Eliza writes the
claim it for us auntie Eliza writes the Asian model minority is not doing well I
Asian model minority is not doing well I
Asian model minority is not doing well I am not doing well I’m writing you this
am not doing well I’m writing you this
am not doing well I’m writing you this letter because I need you to see the
letter because I need you to see the
letter because I need you to see the crisis that is Asian American life the
crisis that is Asian American life the
crisis that is Asian American life the civilizing chair that is model minority
civilizing chair that is model minority
civilizing chair that is model minority zation the neoliberal American dream
zation the neoliberal American dream
zation the neoliberal American dream madness as the psychic life of living
madness as the psychic life of living
madness as the psychic life of living under siege I’m writing you to tell you
under siege I’m writing you to tell you
under siege I’m writing you to tell you the lie of the thing called wellness my
the lie of the thing called wellness my
the lie of the thing called wellness my child the world makes us sick and then
child the world makes us sick and then
child the world makes us sick and then tells us it is our fault sickness as
tells us it is our fault sickness as
tells us it is our fault sickness as individual pathology a lack of ability
individual pathology a lack of ability
individual pathology a lack of ability our will to achieve wellness the world
our will to achieve wellness the world
our will to achieve wellness the world tells us what wellness looks like marks
tells us what wellness looks like marks
tells us what wellness looks like marks it as normal moral like whiteness
it as normal moral like whiteness
it as normal moral like whiteness wellness is an ideal to strive for a
wellness is an ideal to strive for a
wellness is an ideal to strive for a state of being in constant performance
state of being in constant performance
state of being in constant performance invisible eyes structures holding up
invisible eyes structures holding up
invisible eyes structures holding up bodies and persons certain bodies
bodies and persons certain bodies
bodies and persons certain bodies certain persons invisible eye structures
certain persons invisible eye structures
certain persons invisible eye structures tearing apart other bodies other
tearing apart other bodies other
tearing apart other bodies other person’s your worth is not tied to how
person’s your worth is not tied to how
person’s your worth is not tied to how well you can perform racialized
well you can perform racialized
well you can perform racialized capitalist productivity or gendered
capitalist productivity or gendered
capitalist productivity or gendered constructions of the self-made martyring
constructions of the self-made martyring
constructions of the self-made martyring sacrificing woman mother or what aunty
sacrificing woman mother or what aunty
sacrificing woman mother or what aunty Aaron calls the debt bound daughter
Aaron calls the debt bound daughter
Aaron calls the debt bound daughter parental sacrifice exchanged for
parental sacrifice exchanged for
parental sacrifice exchanged for daughter Lea personhood people are not
daughter Lea personhood people are not
daughter Lea personhood people are not to be measured by their usefulness their
to be measured by their usefulness their
to be measured by their usefulness their ability to perform health their
ability to perform health their
ability to perform health their proximity to racialized gendered ideals
proximity to racialized gendered ideals
proximity to racialized gendered ideals I need you to understand that we are all
I need you to understand that we are all
I need you to understand that we are all differentially unwell that people are
differentially unwell that people are
differentially unwell that people are vulnerable made vulnerable kept
vulnerable made vulnerable kept
vulnerable made vulnerable kept vulnerable that our vulnerabilities are
vulnerable that our vulnerabilities are
vulnerable that our vulnerabilities are both our death and our life that are
both our death and our life that are
both our death and our life that are vulnerabilities link us connect us in a
vulnerabilities link us connect us in a
vulnerabilities link us connect us in a web of death and survival this thing
web of death and survival this thing
web of death and survival this thing called life is no joke my sweet child it
called life is no joke my sweet child it
called life is no joke my sweet child it is okay to hurt we must allow ourselves
is okay to hurt we must allow ourselves
is okay to hurt we must allow ourselves to hurt to trace the losses the
to hurt to trace the losses the
to hurt to trace the losses the heartbreak of the death we must allow
heartbreak of the death we must allow
heartbreak of the death we must allow ourselves to be whole people in all our
ourselves to be whole people in all our
ourselves to be whole people in all our brokenness our lives as always
brokenness our lives as always
brokenness our lives as always negotiating violence trauma crises of
negotiating violence trauma crises of
negotiating violence trauma crises of meaning our lives as always finding new
meaning our lives as always finding new
meaning our lives as always finding new ways of making meaning making community
ways of making meaning making community
ways of making meaning making community I tell you this to free you but to also
I tell you this to free you but to also
I tell you this to free you but to also show you how to allow others to be free
show you how to allow others to be free
show you how to allow others to be free in your hands is a project I dreamed for
in your hands is a project I dreamed for
in your hands is a project I dreamed for me and for you for the brokenness we all
me and for you for the brokenness we all
me and for you for the brokenness we all share so different and so similar I
share so different and so similar I
share so different and so similar I dream this project to save my own life
dream this project to save my own life
dream this project to save my own life to help others save their own lives to
to help others save their own lives to
to help others save their own lives to help you save yours open an emergency my
help you save yours open an emergency my
help you save yours open an emergency my darling child it’s an emergency right
darling child it’s an emergency right
darling child it’s an emergency right now so this letter opens a project I
now so this letter opens a project I
now so this letter opens a project I curated titled open an emergency and the
curated titled open an emergency and the
curated titled open an emergency and the project is on Asian American mental
project is on Asian American mental
project is on Asian American mental health
health
health is an attempt to think and feel our way
is an attempt to think and feel our way
is an attempt to think and feel our way out of circuits that are killing us I
out of circuits that are killing us I
out of circuits that are killing us I find it necessary to extend this letter
find it necessary to extend this letter
find it necessary to extend this letter to help you understand exactly what it
to help you understand exactly what it
to help you understand exactly what it is I’m trying to pass on to you
is I’m trying to pass on to you
is I’m trying to pass on to you let me try here I used to think that we
let me try here I used to think that we
let me try here I used to think that we could simply think our way out of
could simply think our way out of
could simply think our way out of problems that plague our communities
problems that plague our communities
problems that plague our communities that the mine was the most important
that the mine was the most important
that the mine was the most important tool the most important site of
tool the most important site of
tool the most important site of cultivation learn more sharpen
cultivation learn more sharpen
cultivation learn more sharpen analytical skills see more find new
analytical skills see more find new
analytical skills see more find new critiques generate new ways of thinking
critiques generate new ways of thinking
critiques generate new ways of thinking this would be what leads to freedom to
this would be what leads to freedom to
this would be what leads to freedom to revolution it’s why I went to graduate
revolution it’s why I went to graduate
revolution it’s why I went to graduate school why I trained as a scholar it’s
school why I trained as a scholar it’s
school why I trained as a scholar it’s what I learned in graduate school as I
what I learned in graduate school as I
what I learned in graduate school as I trained to be a scholar for instance
trained to be a scholar for instance
trained to be a scholar for instance learn what racism is and what it isn’t
learn what racism is and what it isn’t
learn what racism is and what it isn’t learn how to analyze what people think
learn how to analyze what people think
learn how to analyze what people think racism is learn to trace how people’s
racism is learn to trace how people’s
racism is learn to trace how people’s ideas about racism affect actions
ideas about racism affect actions
ideas about racism affect actions dialogues policies see what opens up
dialogues policies see what opens up
dialogues policies see what opens up when we shift how we understand racism
when we shift how we understand racism
when we shift how we understand racism from individual acts of prejudice to
from individual acts of prejudice to
from individual acts of prejudice to systems of devaluing and exploiting
systems of devaluing and exploiting
systems of devaluing and exploiting certain lives systems that find
certain lives systems that find
certain lives systems that find themselves embedded in expressed through
themselves embedded in expressed through
themselves embedded in expressed through laws social norms cultural practices
laws social norms cultural practices
laws social norms cultural practices ethnic studies as a field as a set of
ethnic studies as a field as a set of
ethnic studies as a field as a set of fields was born out of a desire to hold
fields was born out of a desire to hold
fields was born out of a desire to hold up and make visible the lies of those
up and make visible the lies of those
up and make visible the lies of those who bear the brunt of these systems of
who bear the brunt of these systems of
who bear the brunt of these systems of violence and to understand the complex
violence and to understand the complex
violence and to understand the complex workings of those systems so learn what
workings of those systems so learn what
workings of those systems so learn what racism is and perhaps we can defeat it
racism is and perhaps we can defeat it
racism is and perhaps we can defeat it learn what racism is and in the process
learn what racism is and in the process
learn what racism is and in the process unlearn old ways of thinking many
unlearn old ways of thinking many
unlearn old ways of thinking many educators I know talk about teaching as
educators I know talk about teaching as
educators I know talk about teaching as a process of helping students unlearn
a process of helping students unlearn
a process of helping students unlearn identify and address our assumptions
identify and address our assumptions
identify and address our assumptions things we learn from our social
things we learn from our social
things we learn from our social environments from cultural narratives
environments from cultural narratives
environments from cultural narratives from educational systems things that are
from educational systems things that are
from educational systems things that are inaccurate untrue or harmful
inaccurate untrue or harmful
inaccurate untrue or harmful see the scripts for what they are
see the scripts for what they are
see the scripts for what they are inheritances that say more about our
inheritances that say more about our
inheritances that say more about our communities investments that actually
communities investments that actually
communities investments that actually about capturing realities but this goes
about capturing realities but this goes
about capturing realities but this goes for feeling too because we don’t just
for feeling too because we don’t just
for feeling too because we don’t just think and learn ways we feel in them too
think and learn ways we feel in them too
think and learn ways we feel in them too we learn emotional scripts what we’re
we learn emotional scripts what we’re
we learn emotional scripts what we’re supposed to feel in particular moments
supposed to feel in particular moments
supposed to feel in particular moments about particular things we police
about particular things we police
about particular things we police ourselves with our emotional scripts and
ourselves with our emotional scripts and
ourselves with our emotional scripts and so I found myself feeling my way into
so I found myself feeling my way into
so I found myself feeling my way into motherhood five years ago leading up to
motherhood five years ago leading up to
motherhood five years ago leading up to the birth feelings of excitement anxiety
the birth feelings of excitement anxiety
the birth feelings of excitement anxiety about the birth anticipation feeling
about the birth anticipation feeling
about the birth anticipation feeling ready than feeling not ready enjoying
ready than feeling not ready enjoying
ready than feeling not ready enjoying being celebrated by my family and larger
being celebrated by my family and larger
being celebrated by my family and larger community most would consider these
community most would consider these
community most would consider these normal feelings but what are normal
normal feelings but what are normal
normal feelings but what are normal feelings feelings that occur often or
feelings feelings that occur often or
feelings feelings that occur often or feelings that fit norms feelings that
feelings that fit norms feelings that
feelings that fit norms feelings that fit our expectations the stories we are
fit our expectations the stories we are
fit our expectations the stories we are told what we tell ourselves of how we’re
told what we tell ourselves of how we’re
told what we tell ourselves of how we’re supposed to feel what are abnormal
supposed to feel what are abnormal
supposed to feel what are abnormal feelings who gets to say what feelings
feelings who gets to say what feelings
feelings who gets to say what feelings are abnormal and then what happens when
are abnormal and then what happens when
are abnormal and then what happens when we have so called abnormal feelings we
we have so called abnormal feelings we
we have so called abnormal feelings we tell ourselves something is wrong with
tell ourselves something is wrong with
tell ourselves something is wrong with me other people tell us something is
me other people tell us something is
me other people tell us something is wrong with you sometimes this makes
wrong with you sometimes this makes
wrong with you sometimes this makes people jump off bridges sometimes we get
people jump off bridges sometimes we get
people jump off bridges sometimes we get put in hospitals or prisons the World
put in hospitals or prisons the World
put in hospitals or prisons the World Health Organization defines mental
Health Organization defines mental
Health Organization defines mental health as a state of well-being in which
health as a state of well-being in which
health as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own
every individual realizes his or her own
every individual realizes his or her own potential can cope with the normal
potential can cope with the normal
potential can cope with the normal stresses of life can work productively
stresses of life can work productively
stresses of life can work productively and fruitfully and is able to make a
and fruitfully and is able to make a
and fruitfully and is able to make a contribution to his or her community it
contribution to his or her community it
contribution to his or her community it opened an emergency writer and therapist
opened an emergency writer and therapist
opened an emergency writer and therapist chi-ching Tom wonders why the definition
chi-ching Tom wonders why the definition
chi-ching Tom wonders why the definition emphasizes an ability to work is our
emphasizes an ability to work is our
emphasizes an ability to work is our health and value really determined by an
health and value really determined by an
health and value really determined by an ability to be productive to participate
ability to be productive to participate
ability to be productive to participate in capitalism what if
in capitalism what if
in capitalism what if in fact capitalism causes unwellness as
in fact capitalism causes unwellness as
in fact capitalism causes unwellness as cultural studies scholar and tsvetkova
cultural studies scholar and tsvetkova
cultural studies scholar and tsvetkova CH suggests what if depression isn’t an
CH suggests what if depression isn’t an
CH suggests what if depression isn’t an individual state of maladjustment
individual state of maladjustment
individual state of maladjustment expressed through the inability to work
expressed through the inability to work
expressed through the inability to work but actually the shared emotional state
but actually the shared emotional state
but actually the shared emotional state of life of working under neoliberal
of life of working under neoliberal
of life of working under neoliberal capitalism and then I wonder about
capitalism and then I wonder about
capitalism and then I wonder about another part of the definition can cope
another part of the definition can cope
another part of the definition can cope with the normal stresses of life
with the normal stresses of life
with the normal stresses of life what are normal stresses of life for
what are normal stresses of life for
what are normal stresses of life for whom are they normal who gets to deem
whom are they normal who gets to deem
whom are they normal who gets to deem certain stresses as acceptable and other
certain stresses as acceptable and other
certain stresses as acceptable and other kinds as too much beyond some imagined
kinds as too much beyond some imagined
kinds as too much beyond some imagined threshold who gets to tell you what you
threshold who gets to tell you what you
threshold who gets to tell you what you should be asked to bear and who gets to
should be asked to bear and who gets to
should be asked to bear and who gets to tell us how we must bear our burdens
tell us how we must bear our burdens
tell us how we must bear our burdens what kinds of coping our healthy
what kinds of coping our healthy
what kinds of coping our healthy picture this you have a new baby the one
picture this you have a new baby the one
picture this you have a new baby the one you’ve been so excitedly waiting for the
you’ve been so excitedly waiting for the
you’ve been so excitedly waiting for the one you began loving from the time you
one you began loving from the time you
one you began loving from the time you felt her kicks like butterflies in your
felt her kicks like butterflies in your
felt her kicks like butterflies in your middle she is here and now you feel
middle she is here and now you feel
middle she is here and now you feel trapped you do nothing but care for her
trapped you do nothing but care for her
trapped you do nothing but care for her around the clock nurse change rock hold
around the clock nurse change rock hold
around the clock nurse change rock hold maybe put down for a few minutes but
maybe put down for a few minutes but
maybe put down for a few minutes but then she’s crying again so pick up and
then she’s crying again so pick up and
then she’s crying again so pick up and repeat through the night you sleep in
repeat through the night you sleep in
repeat through the night you sleep in one-hour increments day and night your
one-hour increments day and night your
one-hour increments day and night your life a non-stop routine of exhaustion
life a non-stop routine of exhaustion
life a non-stop routine of exhaustion and frustration and resentment and
and frustration and resentment and
and frustration and resentment and despair despair that this will never
despair despair that this will never
despair despair that this will never change that you will never sleep again
change that you will never sleep again
change that you will never sleep again never have a break and never have a life
never have a break and never have a life
never have a break and never have a life outside of her needs where is the joy
outside of her needs where is the joy
outside of her needs where is the joy that motherhood supposedly brings where
that motherhood supposedly brings where
that motherhood supposedly brings where is the meaningfulness the satisfaction
is the meaningfulness the satisfaction
is the meaningfulness the satisfaction and so you think something is wrong with
and so you think something is wrong with
and so you think something is wrong with me but not something is wrong with me as
me but not something is wrong with me as
me but not something is wrong with me as in my feelings or indicators of needs
in my feelings or indicators of needs
in my feelings or indicators of needs not being met but as in something is
not being met but as in something is
not being met but as in something is wrong with me
wrong with me
wrong with me you think maybe I’m not cut out for
you think maybe I’m not cut out for
you think maybe I’m not cut out for motherhood
motherhood
motherhood maybe I’ve made a terrible mistake maybe
maybe I’ve made a terrible mistake maybe
maybe I’ve made a terrible mistake maybe I am a failure of a mother of a person
I am a failure of a mother of a person
I am a failure of a mother of a person because everywhere everyone told you
because everywhere everyone told you
because everywhere everyone told you that mothers are supposed to be happy
that mothers are supposed to be happy
that mothers are supposed to be happy mothers are supposed to do everything
mothers are supposed to do everything
mothers are supposed to do everything and be happy while doing it mothers are
and be happy while doing it mothers are
and be happy while doing it mothers are supposed to find meaning in all their
supposed to find meaning in all their
supposed to find meaning in all their sacrifices martyrdom as ideal motherhood
sacrifices martyrdom as ideal motherhood
sacrifices martyrdom as ideal motherhood you find that you can’t get other
you find that you can’t get other
you find that you can’t get other parents to admit even to themselves that
parents to admit even to themselves that
parents to admit even to themselves that we sometimes don’t feel like it’s worth
we sometimes don’t feel like it’s worth
we sometimes don’t feel like it’s worth it that sometimes there is little or no
it that sometimes there is little or no
it that sometimes there is little or no reward that sometimes we even have
reward that sometimes we even have
reward that sometimes we even have regret resentment and a desire for
regret resentment and a desire for
regret resentment and a desire for something else you can’t even get most
something else you can’t even get most
something else you can’t even get most new parents to admit that joy might not
new parents to admit that joy might not
new parents to admit that joy might not be their predominant feeling that is
be their predominant feeling that is
be their predominant feeling that is where I found myself feeling motherhood
where I found myself feeling motherhood
where I found myself feeling motherhood through these narratives earlier I
through these narratives earlier I
through these narratives earlier I described open an emergency as an
described open an emergency as an
described open an emergency as an attempt to think and feel our way out of
attempt to think and feel our way out of
attempt to think and feel our way out of circuits that are killing us so what are
circuits that are killing us so what are
circuits that are killing us so what are those circuits and how can thinking and
those circuits and how can thinking and
those circuits and how can thinking and feeling get us out of them so when one
feeling get us out of them so when one
feeling get us out of them so when one such circuit idealize motherhood of
such circuit idealize motherhood of
such circuit idealize motherhood of contemporary American culture another
contemporary American culture another
contemporary American culture another asian-american model minority zation it
asian-american model minority zation it
asian-american model minority zation it was especially difficult to get my
was especially difficult to get my
was especially difficult to get my Vietnamese American family and larger
Vietnamese American family and larger
Vietnamese American family and larger Asian American community to think and
Asian American community to think and
Asian American community to think and feel outside of these usual narratives
feel outside of these usual narratives
feel outside of these usual narratives of motherhood because in a world in
of motherhood because in a world in
of motherhood because in a world in which we are always trying to become
which we are always trying to become
which we are always trying to become American striving for an elusive
American striving for an elusive
American striving for an elusive belonging through faith in the American
belonging through faith in the American
belonging through faith in the American Dream in which we work hard work harder
Dream in which we work hard work harder
Dream in which we work hard work harder climb the ladder of upward mobility to
climb the ladder of upward mobility to
climb the ladder of upward mobility to find a kind of belonging that might keep
find a kind of belonging that might keep
find a kind of belonging that might keep us safe that might bring us security and
us safe that might bring us security and
us safe that might bring us security and accumulation which we often confuse with
accumulation which we often confuse with
accumulation which we often confuse with happiness in this world there is no room
happiness in this world there is no room
happiness in this world there is no room for motherhood being hard for anything
for motherhood being hard for anything
for motherhood being hard for anything being hard Excel achieved be normal at
being hard Excel achieved be normal at
being hard Excel achieved be normal at all costs the life of racism its shape
all costs the life of racism its shape
all costs the life of racism its shape and its reach not simply in our thoughts
and its reach not simply in our thoughts
and its reach not simply in our thoughts but in our feelings our anxieties our
but in our feelings our anxieties our
but in our feelings our anxieties our insecurities our low
insecurities our low
insecurities our low and discussed even our Joy’s our dreams
wev Dubois famously asked about race and
wev Dubois famously asked about race and being black in the u.s. how does it feel
being black in the u.s. how does it feel
being black in the u.s. how does it feel to be a problem a century later the J
to be a problem a century later the J
to be a problem a century later the J Prashad would ask of the South Asian
Prashad would ask of the South Asian
Prashad would ask of the South Asian American community how does it feel to
American community how does it feel to
American community how does it feel to be a solution in open and emergency
be a solution in open and emergency
be a solution in open and emergency literary scholar Aaron Ning says that
literary scholar Aaron Ning says that
literary scholar Aaron Ning says that all of her work excavating the dynamics
all of her work excavating the dynamics
all of her work excavating the dynamics of asian-american life has really been
of asian-american life has really been
of asian-american life has really been about answering the question of what it
about answering the question of what it
about answering the question of what it feels like to be the model minority so
feels like to be the model minority so
feels like to be the model minority so how do we feel our way out of these
how do we feel our way out of these
how do we feel our way out of these circuits these structures that bear down
circuits these structures that bear down
circuits these structures that bear down upon us giving us effective maps that
upon us giving us effective maps that
upon us giving us effective maps that are killing us I’m not suggesting that
are killing us I’m not suggesting that
are killing us I’m not suggesting that we simply need to feel better or create
we simply need to feel better or create
we simply need to feel better or create better feelings this is not about
better feelings this is not about
better feelings this is not about overcoming anger or other supposedly
overcoming anger or other supposedly
overcoming anger or other supposedly negative feelings and finding some kind
negative feelings and finding some kind
negative feelings and finding some kind of tranquility I have a deep suspicion
of tranquility I have a deep suspicion
of tranquility I have a deep suspicion of people telling me how I should feel
of people telling me how I should feel
of people telling me how I should feel or that a way of feeling about something
or that a way of feeling about something
or that a way of feeling about something is better or healthier again what are
is better or healthier again what are
is better or healthier again what are normal feelings and who gets to say
normal feelings and who gets to say
normal feelings and who gets to say instead I want to think of feeling as a
instead I want to think of feeling as a
instead I want to think of feeling as a site of critique a site where we
site of critique a site where we
site of critique a site where we investigate the relationship between
investigate the relationship between
investigate the relationship between feeling and structure I’m not an effect
feeling and structure I’m not an effect
feeling and structure I’m not an effect theorist there are many doing incredible
theorist there are many doing incredible
theorist there are many doing incredible work in this area but as a cultural
work in this area but as a cultural
work in this area but as a cultural studies scholar as a scholar and writer
studies scholar as a scholar and writer
studies scholar as a scholar and writer around issues of mental health I can
around issues of mental health I can
around issues of mental health I can observe the cultural scripts in my own
observe the cultural scripts in my own
observe the cultural scripts in my own life and the lives of those around me
life and the lives of those around me
life and the lives of those around me and trace the ghostly presence of power
and trace the ghostly presence of power
and trace the ghostly presence of power to find pathways to resist it to survive
to find pathways to resist it to survive
to find pathways to resist it to survive it so questions I asked you to consider
it so questions I asked you to consider
it so questions I asked you to consider how can we identify where and how we’ve
how can we identify where and how we’ve
how can we identify where and how we’ve been conditioned to feel and not feel
been conditioned to feel and not feel
been conditioned to feel and not feel how can we trace how that conditioning
how can we trace how that conditioning
how can we trace how that conditioning is shaped by systems of power such as
is shaped by systems of power such as
is shaped by systems of power such as racism misogyny homophobia
racism misogyny homophobia
racism misogyny homophobia via ableism xenophobia how can we
via ableism xenophobia how can we
via ableism xenophobia how can we disinvest in those conditioned feelings
disinvest in those conditioned feelings
disinvest in those conditioned feelings and how can we cultivate deeper feeling
and how can we cultivate deeper feeling
and how can we cultivate deeper feeling different feeling outside of norms how
different feeling outside of norms how
different feeling outside of norms how can we cultivate feelings for things
can we cultivate feelings for things
can we cultivate feelings for things we’re not supposed to in ways were not
we’re not supposed to in ways were not
we’re not supposed to in ways were not supposed to many will tell you that
supposed to many will tell you that
supposed to many will tell you that empathy is the answer compassion as a
empathy is the answer compassion as a
empathy is the answer compassion as a salv
salv
salv for our era of vitriol and hate but I
for our era of vitriol and hate but I
for our era of vitriol and hate but I write you this letter to tell you that
write you this letter to tell you that
write you this letter to tell you that that is not enough empathy and
that is not enough empathy and
that is not enough empathy and compassion cannot be general or generic
compassion cannot be general or generic
compassion cannot be general or generic they must be specific in response to
they must be specific in response to
they must be specific in response to what we have already been conditioned to
what we have already been conditioned to
what we have already been conditioned to feel empathy for and what we have not to
feel empathy for and what we have not to
feel empathy for and what we have not to cultivate deeper and possibly
cultivate deeper and possibly
cultivate deeper and possibly revolutionary feeling we must first
revolutionary feeling we must first
revolutionary feeling we must first identify the scripts we inherit and then
identify the scripts we inherit and then
identify the scripts we inherit and then feel our way out of them this means
feel our way out of them this means
feel our way out of them this means evaluating what you are feeling weighing
evaluating what you are feeling weighing
evaluating what you are feeling weighing its ethical ethical possibilities
its ethical ethical possibilities
its ethical ethical possibilities choosing to reject it if necessary and
choosing to reject it if necessary and
choosing to reject it if necessary and cultivating new feelings that perhaps
cultivating new feelings that perhaps
cultivating new feelings that perhaps didn’t come naturally easily to you at
didn’t come naturally easily to you at
didn’t come naturally easily to you at first feeling as a life practice a
first feeling as a life practice a
first feeling as a life practice a political ethical spiritual method open
political ethical spiritual method open
political ethical spiritual method open the possibilities of feeling and we open
the possibilities of feeling and we open
the possibilities of feeling and we open the possibilities of living of being
the possibilities of living of being
the possibilities of living of being able to live this is both my charge and
able to live this is both my charge and
able to live this is both my charge and my hope for you thank you
my hope for you thank you
my hope for you thank you [Applause]
”
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