[Applause] everyone in this room knows what an M&M
everyone in this room knows what an M&M
everyone in this room knows what an M&M is right can I see a show of hands how
is right can I see a show of hands how
is right can I see a show of hands how many of you like eating M&Ms or just
many of you like eating M&Ms or just
many of you like eating M&Ms or just chocolate in general then you probably
chocolate in general then you probably
chocolate in general then you probably remember the time when we were a kid and
remember the time when we were a kid and
remember the time when we were a kid and we just want to have some chocolate
we just want to have some chocolate
we just want to have some chocolate right so we go up to our parents beg
right so we go up to our parents beg
right so we go up to our parents beg them for that extra piece of chocolate
them for that extra piece of chocolate
them for that extra piece of chocolate but they just put their foot down and
but they just put their foot down and
but they just put their foot down and say no did you say no shutting down our
say no did you say no shutting down our
say no did you say no shutting down our chance at that extra piece of M&M we
chance at that extra piece of M&M we
chance at that extra piece of M&M we were probably mad back then but to think
were probably mad back then but to think
were probably mad back then but to think about it we can’t possibly eat M&Ms all
about it we can’t possibly eat M&Ms all
about it we can’t possibly eat M&Ms all day right
day right
day right so our parents saying no to us was a
so our parents saying no to us was a
so our parents saying no to us was a good thing but only to a certain point
good thing but only to a certain point
good thing but only to a certain point as we grow older hearing our parents
as we grow older hearing our parents
as we grow older hearing our parents voices of saying no starts making us say
voices of saying no starts making us say
voices of saying no starts making us say no our selves and we never realized that
no our selves and we never realized that
no our selves and we never realized that the word know starts building a frame
the word know starts building a frame
the word know starts building a frame around us and we don’t really know how
around us and we don’t really know how
around us and we don’t really know how to get out think of it like this imagine
to get out think of it like this imagine
to get out think of it like this imagine your life as an open book when we say no
your life as an open book when we say no
your life as an open book when we say no over and over again it’s just like
over and over again it’s just like
over and over again it’s just like reading the same paragraph over and over
reading the same paragraph over and over
reading the same paragraph over and over again and we’re just stuck but tonight
again and we’re just stuck but tonight
again and we’re just stuck but tonight I’m here to tell you a secret a secret
I’m here to tell you a secret a secret
I’m here to tell you a secret a secret that will move you from this paragraph
that will move you from this paragraph
that will move you from this paragraph to enter the next unpredictable chapters
to enter the next unpredictable chapters
to enter the next unpredictable chapters in your life but first let me tell you a
in your life but first let me tell you a
in your life but first let me tell you a story this is Larry before you graduate
story this is Larry before you graduate
story this is Larry before you graduate high school he went to a university tour
high school he went to a university tour
high school he went to a university tour at Stanford and his tour buddy was named
at Stanford and his tour buddy was named
at Stanford and his tour buddy was named Sergey since the moment they met they
Sergey since the moment they met they
Sergey since the moment they met they would argue about nearly everything
would argue about nearly everything
would argue about nearly everything because they found each other obnoxious
because they found each other obnoxious
because they found each other obnoxious for example they would argue about the
for example they would argue about the
for example they would argue about the values to various approaches of urban
values to various approaches of urban
values to various approaches of urban planning whatever that even means but
planning whatever that even means but
planning whatever that even means but all they said was no until one day they
all they said was no until one day they
all they said was no until one day they finally said yes let’s work together and
finally said yes let’s work together and
finally said yes let’s work together and start a project in our dorm room had
start a project in our dorm room had
start a project in our dorm room had they kept saying no to each other
they kept saying no to each other
they kept saying no to each other this wouldn’t be present today and
this wouldn’t be present today and
this wouldn’t be present today and juniors we wouldn’t have been able to
juniors we wouldn’t have been able to
juniors we wouldn’t have been able to search up what to do in a TED talk
search up what to do in a TED talk
search up what to do in a TED talk and get answers within two seconds had
and get answers within two seconds had
and get answers within two seconds had they not say yes to the risk that
they not say yes to the risk that
they not say yes to the risk that they’re willing to take
they’re willing to take
they’re willing to take they wouldn’t have unlocked the door to
they wouldn’t have unlocked the door to
they wouldn’t have unlocked the door to new beginnings and opportunities I know
new beginnings and opportunities I know
new beginnings and opportunities I know it’s all just because of one word it may
it’s all just because of one word it may
it’s all just because of one word it may not seem like a big word but I Elina
not seem like a big word but I Elina
not seem like a big word but I Elina Chan will show you that this word can
Chan will show you that this word can
Chan will show you that this word can help you paint your pictures this word
help you paint your pictures this word
help you paint your pictures this word can help you write your chapters in your
can help you write your chapters in your
can help you write your chapters in your open book some of you may already be
open book some of you may already be
open book some of you may already be thinking but you can’t say yes to
thinking but you can’t say yes to
thinking but you can’t say yes to everything like if someone asks you to
everything like if someone asks you to
everything like if someone asks you to do something dangerous like hey you want
do something dangerous like hey you want
do something dangerous like hey you want to jump off a cliff you’re obviously not
to jump off a cliff you’re obviously not
to jump off a cliff you’re obviously not gonna go yes of course it’s do it up for
gonna go yes of course it’s do it up for
gonna go yes of course it’s do it up for the challenge you’re not you’re gonna
the challenge you’re not you’re gonna
the challenge you’re not you’re gonna say no which is what no is for but I am
say no which is what no is for but I am
say no which is what no is for but I am talking about the reasonable things that
talking about the reasonable things that
talking about the reasonable things that we say no to and make up are very
we say no to and make up are very
we say no to and make up are very creative excuses and think about this it
creative excuses and think about this it
creative excuses and think about this it might seem a little cliche but if we
might seem a little cliche but if we
might seem a little cliche but if we keep saying no to what we’re
keep saying no to what we’re
keep saying no to what we’re uncomfortable with how will we ever
uncomfortable with how will we ever
uncomfortable with how will we ever become comfortable with it how will we
become comfortable with it how will we
become comfortable with it how will we ever start flipping the pages in our
ever start flipping the pages in our
ever start flipping the pages in our book and of course like I said before we
book and of course like I said before we
book and of course like I said before we can’t possibly say yes to everything as
can’t possibly say yes to everything as
can’t possibly say yes to everything as well which is why this topic is in black
well which is why this topic is in black
well which is why this topic is in black and white there are times where no is a
and white there are times where no is a
and white there are times where no is a better answer than yes but always
better answer than yes but always
better answer than yes but always defaulting to no means that you’re
defaulting to no means that you’re
defaulting to no means that you’re always closing your doors according to
always closing your doors according to
always closing your doors according to an article from The Huffington Post they
an article from The Huffington Post they
an article from The Huffington Post they say that whenever we say no we reject
say that whenever we say no we reject
say that whenever we say no we reject more than the opportunity we reject the
more than the opportunity we reject the
more than the opportunity we reject the fun it brings what it teaches us and the
fun it brings what it teaches us and the
fun it brings what it teaches us and the possible gifts that could unfold if we
possible gifts that could unfold if we
possible gifts that could unfold if we just allow the initial yes let me give
just allow the initial yes let me give
just allow the initial yes let me give you some examples an example of
you some examples an example of
you some examples an example of opportunity would be the Google story
opportunity would be the Google story
opportunity would be the Google story fun it could be saying yes new
fun it could be saying yes new
fun it could be saying yes new friendships and finding things to laugh
friendships and finding things to laugh
friendships and finding things to laugh about with them and lessons which would
about with them and lessons which would
about with them and lessons which would be this right here tonight I’m gonna be
be this right here tonight I’m gonna be
be this right here tonight I’m gonna be honest I am really afraid of public
honest I am really afraid of public
honest I am really afraid of public speaking and when I got the very
speaking and when I got the very
speaking and when I got the very unexpected confirmation email that I
unexpected confirmation email that I
unexpected confirmation email that I would be speaking here tonight I really
would be speaking here tonight I really
would be speaking here tonight I really wanted to reply back no way I’m out so I
wanted to reply back no way I’m out so I
wanted to reply back no way I’m out so I was just too scared but then I start
was just too scared but then I start
was just too scared but then I start back and thought 1 my topic is about
back and thought 1 my topic is about
back and thought 1 my topic is about saying yes
saying yes
saying yes so it’d be really weird and ironic if I
so it’d be really weird and ironic if I
so it’d be really weird and ironic if I said no second I thought about the
said no second I thought about the
said no second I thought about the lessons that I could learn through this
lessons that I could learn through this
lessons that I could learn through this experience to help me conquer my fears
experience to help me conquer my fears
experience to help me conquer my fears of public speaking and trust me I’ve
of public speaking and trust me I’ve
of public speaking and trust me I’ve learned a lot and gifts it could be
learned a lot and gifts it could be
learned a lot and gifts it could be saying yes to an activity and finding
saying yes to an activity and finding
saying yes to an activity and finding your passion through it any of these
your passion through it any of these
your passion through it any of these scenarios can help you write your story
scenarios can help you write your story
scenarios can help you write your story in your open book and think about this
in your open book and think about this
in your open book and think about this when we’re making decisions the no
when we’re making decisions the no
when we’re making decisions the no outcome is connected to regret somehow
outcome is connected to regret somehow
outcome is connected to regret somehow and sometimes regret is the biggest risk
and sometimes regret is the biggest risk
and sometimes regret is the biggest risk of all but why do we even care we care
of all but why do we even care we care
of all but why do we even care we care because saying yes is all about
because saying yes is all about
because saying yes is all about opportunities opportunities to conquer
opportunities opportunities to conquer
opportunities opportunities to conquer your fears opportunities to get better
your fears opportunities to get better
your fears opportunities to get better at something or maybe just opportunities
at something or maybe just opportunities
at something or maybe just opportunities to start stepping out of your comfort
to start stepping out of your comfort
to start stepping out of your comfort zone you can see that your comfort zone
zone you can see that your comfort zone
zone you can see that your comfort zone is pretty small compared to all the area
is pretty small compared to all the area
is pretty small compared to all the area that’s around you and sometimes we’re
that’s around you and sometimes we’re
that’s around you and sometimes we’re just stuck there and we don’t know how
just stuck there and we don’t know how
just stuck there and we don’t know how to get out but trust me once you start
to get out but trust me once you start
to get out but trust me once you start stepping out of your comfort zone it
stepping out of your comfort zone it
stepping out of your comfort zone it becomes easier to step out of it each
becomes easier to step out of it each
becomes easier to step out of it each time according to a study conducted by
time according to a study conducted by
time according to a study conducted by two psychologists they showed that when
two psychologists they showed that when
two psychologists they showed that when we’re in our comfort zones we perform at
we’re in our comfort zones we perform at
we’re in our comfort zones we perform at moderate levels of productivity but in
moderate levels of productivity but in
moderate levels of productivity but in order to increase or maximize those
order to increase or maximize those
order to increase or maximize those productivity levels the participants had
productivity levels the participants had
productivity levels the participants had to be in a state of optimal anxiety or
to be in a state of optimal anxiety or
to be in a state of optimal anxiety or in English productive discomfort which
in English productive discomfort which
in English productive discomfort which means that we actually become more
means that we actually become more
means that we actually become more productive when we’re uncomfortable in
productive when we’re uncomfortable in
productive when we’re uncomfortable in addition a study conducted by a post
addition a study conducted by a post
addition a study conducted by a post doctoral from UC Berkeley found that we
doctoral from UC Berkeley found that we
doctoral from UC Berkeley found that we needed to be in a certain amount of
needed to be in a certain amount of
needed to be in a certain amount of stress in order to achieve the state of
stress in order to achieve the state of
stress in order to achieve the state of optimal alertness or achieve higher
optimal alertness or achieve higher
optimal alertness or achieve higher levels of productivity but if we already
levels of productivity but if we already
levels of productivity but if we already know about the positives of stepping out
know about the positives of stepping out
know about the positives of stepping out of our comfort zones why is it that we
of our comfort zones why is it that we
of our comfort zones why is it that we still can’t do it is it because we’re
still can’t do it is it because we’re
still can’t do it is it because we’re too lazy is it because we’re
too lazy is it because we’re
too lazy is it because we’re uncomfortable or is it because we don’t
uncomfortable or is it because we don’t
uncomfortable or is it because we don’t have the courage to fail
Bill Gates is telling us that if you
Bill Gates is telling us that if you succeed good but if you fail even better
succeed good but if you fail even better
succeed good but if you fail even better it’s more important to learn from our
it’s more important to learn from our
it’s more important to learn from our lessons of failure and if we said yes to
lessons of failure and if we said yes to
lessons of failure and if we said yes to a doubtful idea and it didn’t go as we
a doubtful idea and it didn’t go as we
a doubtful idea and it didn’t go as we expected it’s fine it’s good it’s
expected it’s fine it’s good it’s
expected it’s fine it’s good it’s important that you gave yourself a
important that you gave yourself a
important that you gave yourself a chance and it became an opportunity for
chance and it became an opportunity for
chance and it became an opportunity for you to learn from that we never learned
you to learn from that we never learned
you to learn from that we never learned to move out of our comfort zones until
to move out of our comfort zones until
to move out of our comfort zones until we can overcome our fear of failure this
we can overcome our fear of failure this
we can overcome our fear of failure this topic is really personal to me because
topic is really personal to me because
topic is really personal to me because I’m gonna admit I have I found it hard
I’m gonna admit I have I found it hard
I’m gonna admit I have I found it hard to say yes to many things like if a
to say yes to many things like if a
to say yes to many things like if a friend asked me to go have lunch with
friend asked me to go have lunch with
friend asked me to go have lunch with them if I was too lazy I didn’t feel
them if I was too lazy I didn’t feel
them if I was too lazy I didn’t feel like it I would just say no and make up
like it I would just say no and make up
like it I would just say no and make up some excuse and end up regretting those
some excuse and end up regretting those
some excuse and end up regretting those moments but I never realized that for
moments but I never realized that for
moments but I never realized that for almost all the times I got myself to say
almost all the times I got myself to say
almost all the times I got myself to say yes I never ended up regretting any of
yes I never ended up regretting any of
yes I never ended up regretting any of them in fact those moments became really
them in fact those moments became really
them in fact those moments became really precious to me so let me ask you have
precious to me so let me ask you have
precious to me so let me ask you have you heard of the saying life’s an open
you heard of the saying life’s an open
you heard of the saying life’s an open book if you said yes it means you’ve
book if you said yes it means you’ve
book if you said yes it means you’ve been listening to me since the very
been listening to me since the very
been listening to me since the very beginning but if you said no it means
beginning but if you said no it means
beginning but if you said no it means you haven’t been listening to me at all
you haven’t been listening to me at all
you haven’t been listening to me at all and it also means that you’re already a
and it also means that you’re already a
and it also means that you’re already a page behind those who sent yes because
page behind those who sent yes because
page behind those who sent yes because our lives are basically an open book and
our lives are basically an open book and
our lives are basically an open book and you write the story as you go if all
you write the story as you go if all
you write the story as you go if all you’re doing is saying no to the
you’re doing is saying no to the
you’re doing is saying no to the opportunity that your pen is giving you
opportunity that your pen is giving you
opportunity that your pen is giving you to write then you’re just gonna be stuck
to write then you’re just gonna be stuck
to write then you’re just gonna be stuck in your same boring comfort zone
in your same boring comfort zone
in your same boring comfort zone rereading the same paragraph over and
rereading the same paragraph over and
rereading the same paragraph over and over again while others who are saying
over again while others who are saying
over again while others who are saying yes they’re actually writing paragraphs
yes they’re actually writing paragraphs
yes they’re actually writing paragraphs they’re actually exploring the pages
they’re actually exploring the pages
they’re actually exploring the pages finishing the chapters and ready to move
finishing the chapters and ready to move
finishing the chapters and ready to move on I’d rather have my life be of
on I’d rather have my life be of
on I’d rather have my life be of multiple chapters filled with ups and
multiple chapters filled with ups and
multiple chapters filled with ups and downs then on life story as a one-page
downs then on life story as a one-page
downs then on life story as a one-page summary with no content in it at all
summary with no content in it at all
summary with no content in it at all because my life it’s not just an
because my life it’s not just an
because my life it’s not just an autobiography it’s a mystery
autobiography it’s a mystery
autobiography it’s a mystery thank you
thank you
thank you you
you
you [Applause]
”
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