The power of everyday heroes | Jaz Ampaw-Farr | TEDxNorwichED

[Applause]

[Applause] and I’m alive today because of heroes

and I’m alive today because of heroes

and I’m alive today because of heroes like you and if you’re sitting there

like you and if you’re sitting there

like you and if you’re sitting there thinking I’m not a hero that makes sense

thinking I’m not a hero that makes sense

thinking I’m not a hero that makes sense because you know the way you describe

because you know the way you describe

because you know the way you describe yourself I’m just a mum I’m just a

yourself I’m just a mum I’m just a

yourself I’m just a mum I’m just a teacher like we haven’t got any capacity

teacher like we haven’t got any capacity

teacher like we haven’t got any capacity to change the world and I’m not only

to change the world and I’m not only

to change the world and I’m not only that life’s hard and you get challenges

that life’s hard and you get challenges

that life’s hard and you get challenges thrown at you every day and some days

thrown at you every day and some days

thrown at you every day and some days and then I’m hurting you but I feel like

and then I’m hurting you but I feel like

and then I’m hurting you but I feel like I can barely sort myself out let alone

I can barely sort myself out let alone

I can barely sort myself out let alone anyone else so kind of makes sense just

anyone else so kind of makes sense just

anyone else so kind of makes sense just to keep your head down but if I’m right

to keep your head down but if I’m right

to keep your head down but if I’m right and you are a hero then keeping your

and you are a hero then keeping your

and you are a hero then keeping your head down comes at a huge cost and it

head down comes at a huge cost and it

head down comes at a huge cost and it has huge consequences on the flip side

has huge consequences on the flip side

has huge consequences on the flip side if you were just like 10 percent braver

if you were just like 10 percent braver

if you were just like 10 percent braver then you could transform a life so what

then you could transform a life so what

then you could transform a life so what was being a bit braver look like well a

was being a bit braver look like well a

was being a bit braver look like well a few years ago I was watching The

few years ago I was watching The

few years ago I was watching The Apprentice on TV and what I should have

Apprentice on TV and what I should have

Apprentice on TV and what I should have been doing was writing some next steps

been doing was writing some next steps

been doing was writing some next steps for a school I was helping with spelling

for a school I was helping with spelling

for a school I was helping with spelling but I got sucked into watching the

but I got sucked into watching the

but I got sucked into watching the candidates stuff up making like simple

candidates stuff up making like simple

candidates stuff up making like simple tasks but getting it totally wrong and I

tasks but getting it totally wrong and I

tasks but getting it totally wrong and I started thinking you know if I went on

started thinking you know if I went on

started thinking you know if I went on The Apprentice I would win and then I

The Apprentice I would win and then I

The Apprentice I would win and then I could start a business and no child

could start a business and no child

could start a business and no child would ever leave school without the

would ever leave school without the

would ever leave school without the ability to read write and spell ever

ability to read write and spell ever

ability to read write and spell ever again and that is a fantastic plan so

again and that is a fantastic plan so

again and that is a fantastic plan so that’s exactly what I did sometimes it

that’s exactly what I did sometimes it

that’s exactly what I did sometimes it can be very difficult to put your finger

can be very difficult to put your finger

can be very difficult to put your finger on that moment when a candidate puts

on that moment when a candidate puts

on that moment when a candidate puts themselves in the firing but no no for

themselves in the firing but no no for

themselves in the firing but no no for you it was right here so here’s a

you it was right here so here’s a

you it was right here so here’s a curveball I’m gonna send you right now

curveball I’m gonna send you right now

curveball I’m gonna send you right now [Music]

[Music]

[Music] ladies

ladies

ladies [Music]

[Music]

[Music] who’s gonna be the project manager on

who’s gonna be the project manager on

who’s gonna be the project manager on this task I am I’d realize I volunteered

this task I am I’d realize I volunteered

this task I am I’d realize I volunteered I’d volunteered

I’d volunteered

I’d volunteered very brave very brave indeed yeah so as

very brave very brave indeed yeah so as

very brave very brave indeed yeah so as you can see I was brave and it made no

you can see I was brave and it made no

you can see I was brave and it made no difference because I was fired at the

difference because I was fired at the

difference because I was fired at the end of the first week and it kinda makes

end of the first week and it kinda makes

end of the first week and it kinda makes me a bit of an expert on failure and

me a bit of an expert on failure and

me a bit of an expert on failure and that is what I do now I travel around

that is what I do now I travel around

that is what I do now I travel around speaking at conferences on how to

speaking at conferences on how to

speaking at conferences on how to overcome failure and embed ambitious

overcome failure and embed ambitious

overcome failure and embed ambitious resilience and that is what I thought I

resilience and that is what I thought I

resilience and that is what I thought I might do today but today I want to tell

might do today but today I want to tell

might do today but today I want to tell you the true story behind the apprentice

you the true story behind the apprentice

you the true story behind the apprentice and it’s a story of what happens when

and it’s a story of what happens when

and it’s a story of what happens when people just like you stand when a hero

people just like you stand when a hero

people just like you stand when a hero is needed and growing up I was one

is needed and growing up I was one

is needed and growing up I was one little girl that needed a hero

little girl that needed a hero

little girl that needed a hero it took one woman and a handful of guys

it took one woman and a handful of guys

it took one woman and a handful of guys to create this family you can all tell

to create this family you can all tell

to create this family you can all tell which one I am yeah the like the

which one I am yeah the like the

which one I am yeah the like the good-looking one and then this is the

good-looking one and then this is the

good-looking one and then this is the only photo I have of all of us together

only photo I have of all of us together

only photo I have of all of us together because when I was 8 years old we were

because when I was 8 years old we were

because when I was 8 years old we were separated and put into care by eight

separated and put into care by eight

separated and put into care by eight years old I’d been punched in the face

years old I’d been punched in the face

years old I’d been punched in the face by eight years old I’d been forced to

by eight years old I’d been forced to

by eight years old I’d been forced to steal so I could eat and by eight years

steal so I could eat and by eight years

steal so I could eat and by eight years old I’d been raped countless times if it

old I’d been raped countless times if it

old I’d been raped countless times if it feels like I’m telling your story I want

feels like I’m telling your story I want

feels like I’m telling your story I want you to know it’s okay you’re safe is

you to know it’s okay you’re safe is

you to know it’s okay you’re safe is what I’m about to say because you know

what I’m about to say because you know

what I’m about to say because you know and I know that the real journey is

and I know that the real journey is

and I know that the real journey is repairing the damage to our sense of

repairing the damage to our sense of

repairing the damage to our sense of self but I want to share this with you

self but I want to share this with you

self but I want to share this with you because I want to show you what’s

because I want to show you what’s

because I want to show you what’s possible and I mean what’s possible from

possible and I mean what’s possible from

possible and I mean what’s possible from the point of view of a broken little

the point of view of a broken little

the point of view of a broken little girl who believes that she is completely

girl who believes that she is completely

girl who believes that she is completely worthless because this little girl went

worthless because this little girl went

worthless because this little girl went to school and school meant everything to

to school and school meant everything to

to school and school meant everything to me everything I’m school is where I

me everything I’m school is where I

me everything I’m school is where I laughed

laughed

laughed specifically I laughed at a teacher

specifically I laughed at a teacher

specifically I laughed at a teacher called mr. Williams mr. Williams was

called mr. Williams mr. Williams was

called mr. Williams mr. Williams was under the impression that he was in

under the impression that he was in

under the impression that he was in charge of our class she made it very

charge of our class she made it very

charge of our class she made it very difficult for us to get on I used to

difficult for us to get on I used to

difficult for us to get on I used to have this mustache and he used to shout

have this mustache and he used to shout

have this mustache and he used to shout and his mustache would dance I’m not

and his mustache would dance I’m not

and his mustache would dance I’m not rude if your ears

rude if your ears

rude if your ears now I could mr. Williams asked me about

now I could mr. Williams asked me about

now I could mr. Williams asked me about my bruises and I did what I always did

my bruises and I did what I always did

my bruises and I did what I always did and lied but he leant into me and he

and lied but he leant into me and he

and lied but he leant into me and he said I think you’re protecting someone

said I think you’re protecting someone

said I think you’re protecting someone and what you need to know is that I’m

and what you need to know is that I’m

and what you need to know is that I’m here to protect you I’m here to look out

here to protect you I’m here to look out

here to protect you I’m here to look out for you I never forget his face when I

for you I never forget his face when I

for you I never forget his face when I told him just a little bit of the truth

told him just a little bit of the truth

told him just a little bit of the truth pained like my words were causing him

pained like my words were causing him

pained like my words were causing him actual pain and he didn’t say anything

actual pain and he didn’t say anything

actual pain and he didn’t say anything but he took me to the library I peeked

but he took me to the library I peeked

but he took me to the library I peeked through the window I could see him

through the window I could see him

through the window I could see him outside he was standing there with a

outside he was standing there with a

outside he was standing there with a cricket bat in one hand and he was

cricket bat in one hand and he was

cricket bat in one hand and he was slapping it like listening to the other

slapping it like listening to the other

slapping it like listening to the other now I don’t have any idea what he

now I don’t have any idea what he

now I don’t have any idea what he thought it was going to do with that bat

thought it was going to do with that bat

thought it was going to do with that bat but he stood there until a social worker

but he stood there until a social worker

but he stood there until a social worker came and it wasn’t the rescue that had

came and it wasn’t the rescue that had

came and it wasn’t the rescue that had the impact on me it wasn’t the fact that

the impact on me it wasn’t the fact that

the impact on me it wasn’t the fact that in that library was the first time in my

in that library was the first time in my

in that library was the first time in my life I’d ever felt safe it was the fact

life I’d ever felt safe it was the fact

life I’d ever felt safe it was the fact that he showed he cared that he stood

that he showed he cared that he stood

that he showed he cared that he stood for me growing up in care and on the

for me growing up in care and on the

for me growing up in care and on the street is pretty hideous but I was

street is pretty hideous but I was

street is pretty hideous but I was incredibly lucky I had four more

incredibly lucky I had four more

incredibly lucky I had four more ordinary heroes show up in my life and

ordinary heroes show up in my life and

ordinary heroes show up in my life and each one of them and they all happen to

each one of them and they all happen to

each one of them and they all happen to be teachers showed they cared by holding

be teachers showed they cared by holding

be teachers showed they cared by holding a vision of success for me mr. Williams

a vision of success for me mr. Williams

a vision of success for me mr. Williams stood outside a library mrs. Cooke held

stood outside a library mrs. Cooke held

stood outside a library mrs. Cooke held my hand when she knew the fire alarm was

my hand when she knew the fire alarm was

my hand when she knew the fire alarm was going to go off mr. Simpson asked me how

going to go off mr. Simpson asked me how

going to go off mr. Simpson asked me how I was every single day and then waited

I was every single day and then waited

I was every single day and then waited for an answer

for an answer

for an answer miss Archer valued all of my ideas even

miss Archer valued all of my ideas even

miss Archer valued all of my ideas even though a lot of them were borderline

though a lot of them were borderline

though a lot of them were borderline bonkers and mr. Redman why he just

bonkers and mr. Redman why he just

bonkers and mr. Redman why he just waited for me to try and then he stood

waited for me to try and then he stood

waited for me to try and then he stood there and smiled the biggest proudest

there and smiled the biggest proudest

there and smiled the biggest proudest smile I mean these these seem like small

smile I mean these these seem like small

smile I mean these these seem like small things but these five adults enabled a

things but these five adults enabled a

things but these five adults enabled a broken little girl to become me

they did more than that actually you

they did more than that actually you know because of them because they

know because of them because they

know because of them because they believed in me because they knew that

believed in me because they knew that

believed in me because they knew that they were human first and teacher second

they were human first and teacher second

they were human first and teacher second it changed everything you know on my own

it changed everything you know on my own

it changed everything you know on my own all I could see was darkness in my

all I could see was darkness in my

all I could see was darkness in my future I had this recurring image in my

future I had this recurring image in my

future I had this recurring image in my head that I’d be dead by the time I was

head that I’d be dead by the time I was

head that I’d be dead by the time I was 40 but you know those five adults had

40 but you know those five adults had

40 but you know those five adults had faith in me and I wasn’t going to give

faith in me and I wasn’t going to give

faith in me and I wasn’t going to give up on myself so because of them I’ve

up on myself so because of them I’ve

up on myself so because of them I’ve lagged my way into University my grades

lagged my way into University my grades

lagged my way into University my grades weren’t great but I finished school and

weren’t great but I finished school and

weren’t great but I finished school and I got there and I trained to be a

I got there and I trained to be a

I got there and I trained to be a teacher

teacher

teacher just like them but even more they gave

just like them but even more they gave

just like them but even more they gave me the opportunity to start considering

me the opportunity to start considering

me the opportunity to start considering something that I never dared dream was

something that I never dared dream was

something that I never dared dream was possible

possible

possible because they built a relationship with

because they built a relationship with

because they built a relationship with me I started thinking I could do that

me I started thinking I could do that

me I started thinking I could do that with someone else and what they gave me

with someone else and what they gave me

with someone else and what they gave me is incredible they made it possible for

is incredible they made it possible for

is incredible they made it possible for me to believe I could and go on to have

me to believe I could and go on to have

me to believe I could and go on to have a family of my own so you know this is

a family of my own so you know this is

a family of my own so you know this is success this this is it because I broke

success this this is it because I broke

success this this is it because I broke the cycle and I’m living the dream

the cycle and I’m living the dream

the cycle and I’m living the dream my husband adores me he’s at the back

my husband adores me he’s at the back

my husband adores me he’s at the back you can ask him my kids are the most

you can ask him my kids are the most

you can ask him my kids are the most amazing human people on their planet

amazing human people on their planet

amazing human people on their planet they are and I just you know this is

they are and I just you know this is

they are and I just you know this is this is me thriving isn’t it it’s except

this is me thriving isn’t it it’s except

this is me thriving isn’t it it’s except for I’m thriving me but I wasn’t the

for I’m thriving me but I wasn’t the

for I’m thriving me but I wasn’t the only child in that photo

only child in that photo

only child in that photo I suppose you know this really it’s

I suppose you know this really it’s

I suppose you know this really it’s about my brother because the real story

about my brother because the real story

about my brother because the real story behind the apprentice is that in the

behind the apprentice is that in the

behind the apprentice is that in the middle of the week when that show aired

middle of the week when that show aired

middle of the week when that show aired can you imagine all your friends and

can you imagine all your friends and

can you imagine all your friends and family finding out you’re on that my

family finding out you’re on that my

family finding out you’re on that my phones blowing up with oMG texts the

phones blowing up with oMG texts the

phones blowing up with oMG texts the whole time and I’m doing TV interviews

whole time and I’m doing TV interviews

whole time and I’m doing TV interviews and I’m having this glitzy wonderful

and I’m having this glitzy wonderful

and I’m having this glitzy wonderful time of being as eglise reality TV star

time of being as eglise reality TV star

time of being as eglise reality TV star and in the middle of that I had to go

and in the middle of that I had to go

and in the middle of that I had to go and identify my baby brother’s body

and identify my baby brother’s body

and identify my baby brother’s body because he took a heroin overdose and

because he took a heroin overdose and

because he took a heroin overdose and died four weeks before his 40th birthday

after that after like you know the

after that after like you know the initial grief I’m standing at the sink

initial grief I’m standing at the sink

initial grief I’m standing at the sink one day and I’m washing up and I feel

one day and I’m washing up and I feel

one day and I’m washing up and I feel like this Welling come up inside me and

like this Welling come up inside me and

like this Welling come up inside me and I turn to my husband and say I have to

I turn to my husband and say I have to

I turn to my husband and say I have to stop I can’t do this there’s this life

stop I can’t do this there’s this life

stop I can’t do this there’s this life it is not enough it’s not enough was

it is not enough it’s not enough was

it is not enough it’s not enough was appointing me winning when everyone else

appointing me winning when everyone else

appointing me winning when everyone else is losing there’s kids out there now

is losing there’s kids out there now

is losing there’s kids out there now that need a hero and I have to do

that need a hero and I have to do

that need a hero and I have to do something because I couldn’t save Paul

something because I couldn’t save Paul

something because I couldn’t save Paul so after making write and stories

so after making write and stories

so after making write and stories without any heroes in it they don’t have

without any heroes in it they don’t have

without any heroes in it they don’t have happy endings I wish that I could tell

happy endings I wish that I could tell

happy endings I wish that I could tell you that being a hero is easy I wish I

you that being a hero is easy I wish I

you that being a hero is easy I wish I could say it didn’t cost anything but I

could say it didn’t cost anything but I

could say it didn’t cost anything but I punched and kicked mr. Williams

punched and kicked mr. Williams

punched and kicked mr. Williams because he he like dared to care about

because he he like dared to care about

because he he like dared to care about me and I just could not accept that I

me and I just could not accept that I

me and I just could not accept that I was worthy of that but but he didn’t

was worthy of that but but he didn’t

was worthy of that but but he didn’t wait for me to get it idiot he didn’t

wait for me to get it idiot he didn’t

wait for me to get it idiot he didn’t need me to understand he he just stood

need me to understand he he just stood

need me to understand he he just stood because that’s what heroes do and that’s

because that’s what heroes do and that’s

because that’s what heroes do and that’s that’s why I decided to do this that’s

that’s why I decided to do this that’s

that’s why I decided to do this that’s why I’m here that’s why I’m standing

why I’m here that’s why I’m standing

why I’m here that’s why I’m standing here because change won’t happen until

here because change won’t happen until

here because change won’t happen until your desire to make a difference is

your desire to make a difference is

your desire to make a difference is bigger and stronger and more powerful

bigger and stronger and more powerful

bigger and stronger and more powerful than your fear of trying so please stop

than your fear of trying so please stop

than your fear of trying so please stop doubting that you’re a hero home and

doubting that you’re a hero home and

doubting that you’re a hero home and stop stop worrying that you haven’t got

stop stop worrying that you haven’t got

stop stop worrying that you haven’t got what it takes you are good enough every

what it takes you are good enough every

what it takes you are good enough every day I work with teachers who they’re

day I work with teachers who they’re

day I work with teachers who they’re crushed by our education system and they

crushed by our education system and they

crushed by our education system and they think that they’re just ordinary and not

think that they’re just ordinary and not

think that they’re just ordinary and not brilliant and you know it breaks my

brilliant and you know it breaks my

brilliant and you know it breaks my heart because that those heroes make a

heart because that those heroes make a

heart because that those heroes make a difference

difference

difference and if you if you know that in your

and if you if you know that in your

and if you if you know that in your schools and in your workplaces your

schools and in your workplaces your

schools and in your workplaces your friends your family this is their story

friends your family this is their story

friends your family this is their story it’s not just my story the details might

it’s not just my story the details might

it’s not just my story the details might be different but the struggle is the

be different but the struggle is the

be different but the struggle is the same it’s anyone’s story who is afraid

same it’s anyone’s story who is afraid

same it’s anyone’s story who is afraid they might just be unlovable and in

they might just be unlovable and in

they might just be unlovable and in their story

their story

their story you’re the hero the hero is you so go be

you’re the hero the hero is you so go be

you’re the hero the hero is you so go be a hero and it doesn’t matter if you

a hero and it doesn’t matter if you

a hero and it doesn’t matter if you don’t feel ready and it is totally okay

don’t feel ready and it is totally okay

don’t feel ready and it is totally okay if you’re scared but do it anyway

if you’re scared but do it anyway

if you’re scared but do it anyway because when you do you can literally

because when you do you can literally

because when you do you can literally transform alive thank you

transform alive thank you

transform alive thank you [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]