we are changing the narrative around two important terms one is feminism the
important terms one is feminism the
important terms one is feminism the other is women’s empowerment so I stand
other is women’s empowerment so I stand
other is women’s empowerment so I stand here as we near 2018 or 2018 and many
here as we near 2018 or 2018 and many
here as we near 2018 or 2018 and many things are changing every single day
things are changing every single day
things are changing every single day women are vulnerably standing up
women are vulnerably standing up
women are vulnerably standing up standing out sharing our stories and
standing out sharing our stories and
standing out sharing our stories and being heard so yes though the narrative
being heard so yes though the narrative
being heard so yes though the narrative is changing and women are finally being
is changing and women are finally being
is changing and women are finally being heard some narratives are not so though
heard some narratives are not so though
heard some narratives are not so though we know the old adage that collectively
we know the old adage that collectively
we know the old adage that collectively we all rise and rising tides lifts all
we all rise and rising tides lifts all
we all rise and rising tides lifts all boats
boats
boats still we are unconsciously disempowering
still we are unconsciously disempowering
still we are unconsciously disempowering one another every single day and when I
one another every single day and when I
one another every single day and when I say we I mean us I mean women women are
say we I mean us I mean women women are
say we I mean us I mean women women are not always supportive of one another
not always supportive of one another
not always supportive of one another that is not a new narrative I’ll share
that is not a new narrative I’ll share
that is not a new narrative I’ll share with you a story
with you a story
with you a story I was just two weeks ago in New York
I was just two weeks ago in New York
I was just two weeks ago in New York City at an event that was put on by a
City at an event that was put on by a
City at an event that was put on by a major fashion magazine and in that event
major fashion magazine and in that event
major fashion magazine and in that event there were all women leaders that were
there were all women leaders that were
there were all women leaders that were being highlighted I had the honor of
being highlighted I had the honor of
being highlighted I had the honor of being in the second row and watching two
being in the second row and watching two
being in the second row and watching two women on stage one was a veteran of the
women on stage one was a veteran of the
women on stage one was a veteran of the film industry and the other was a
film industry and the other was a
film industry and the other was a veteran of the fashion industry and they
veteran of the fashion industry and they
veteran of the fashion industry and they were having an interview with one
were having an interview with one
were having an interview with one another which was again super excited I
another which was again super excited I
another which was again super excited I was in the audience all of these women
was in the audience all of these women
was in the audience all of these women were surrounding me and we were so
were surrounding me and we were so
were surrounding me and we were so anticipating what they were going to
anticipating what they were going to
anticipating what they were going to share what wisdom was going to be
share what wisdom was going to be
share what wisdom was going to be imparted upon us so the woman in the
imparted upon us so the woman in the
imparted upon us so the woman in the film industry started to share her story
film industry started to share her story
film industry started to share her story we were all held so closely like just
we were all held so closely like just
we were all held so closely like just hanging on every word and then finally
hanging on every word and then finally
hanging on every word and then finally they had a Q&A this is our time this is
they had a Q&A this is our time this is
they had a Q&A this is our time this is the time the audience gets to stand up
the time the audience gets to stand up
the time the audience gets to stand up and ask the important questions so mind
and ask the important questions so mind
and ask the important questions so mind you this is a Women’s Leadership
you this is a Women’s Leadership
you this is a Women’s Leadership Conference we are here to lead and to
Conference we are here to lead and to
Conference we are here to lead and to learn the tools to lead better brighter
learn the tools to lead better brighter
learn the tools to lead better brighter more boldly so the woman in the audience
more boldly so the woman in the audience
more boldly so the woman in the audience stands up cinch and she says please can
stands up cinch and she says please can
stands up cinch and she says please can you tell us clearly you’re so successful
you tell us clearly you’re so successful
you tell us clearly you’re so successful you’ve spent 50 years in film tell us
you’ve spent 50 years in film tell us
you’ve spent 50 years in film tell us how
how
how your female friendships have empowered
your female friendships have empowered
your female friendships have empowered you to grow to get to where you are
you to grow to get to where you are
you to grow to get to where you are today I thought that was a pretty made
today I thought that was a pretty made
today I thought that was a pretty made sense to ask that question I see a lot
sense to ask that question I see a lot
sense to ask that question I see a lot of nods right seems like a good question
of nods right seems like a good question
of nods right seems like a good question so here’s what happened next she looked
so here’s what happened next she looked
so here’s what happened next she looked directly at this woman in the eye and
directly at this woman in the eye and
directly at this woman in the eye and she went they haven’t in fact I have
she went they haven’t in fact I have
she went they haven’t in fact I have just as many if not more frenemies than
just as many if not more frenemies than
just as many if not more frenemies than I do friends hey guys I will I for a
I do friends hey guys I will I for a
I do friends hey guys I will I for a living work with women this broke my
living work with women this broke my
living work with women this broke my heart
heart
heart so then what precedes to happen as the
so then what precedes to happen as the
so then what precedes to happen as the woman in fashion looks over at her
woman in fashion looks over at her
woman in fashion looks over at her friend who she’s interviewing and she
friend who she’s interviewing and she
friend who she’s interviewing and she said you know I got to tell you men are
said you know I got to tell you men are
said you know I got to tell you men are better at this than women men just
better at this than women men just
better at this than women men just bombed better women it’s not our thing
bombed better women it’s not our thing
bombed better women it’s not our thing and I get it I mean you know it’s been
and I get it I mean you know it’s been
and I get it I mean you know it’s been hard one for us we can’t just go giving
hard one for us we can’t just go giving
hard one for us we can’t just go giving it away mortified because this is the
it away mortified because this is the
it away mortified because this is the narrative that we are constantly sharing
narrative that we are constantly sharing
narrative that we are constantly sharing this is the narrative that the world
this is the narrative that the world
this is the narrative that the world hears about women we are catty
hears about women we are catty
hears about women we are catty we are unkind we are not helpful and we
we are unkind we are not helpful and we
we are unkind we are not helpful and we don’t support one another we are
don’t support one another we are
don’t support one another we are constantly asking of other women that we
constantly asking of other women that we
constantly asking of other women that we stay in our own lanes and it’s not
stay in our own lanes and it’s not
stay in our own lanes and it’s not something that any of us want to admit
something that any of us want to admit
something that any of us want to admit to no of course not because we’re
to no of course not because we’re
to no of course not because we’re ashamed of that so a little bit about
ashamed of that so a little bit about
ashamed of that so a little bit about what I do is build communities for a
what I do is build communities for a
what I do is build communities for a living to in particular one is
living to in particular one is
living to in particular one is empowering women to build bold
empowering women to build bold
empowering women to build bold businesses and the other empowering
businesses and the other empowering
businesses and the other empowering women to build bold conversations
women to build bold conversations
women to build bold conversations because they truly believe that if we
because they truly believe that if we
because they truly believe that if we are not able to be vulnerable and share
are not able to be vulnerable and share
are not able to be vulnerable and share our truths we will never get to the
our truths we will never get to the
our truths we will never get to the other side of where we are so clearly
other side of where we are so clearly
other side of where we are so clearly hearing this conversation and sharing
hearing this conversation and sharing
hearing this conversation and sharing this narrative that by the way is not an
this narrative that by the way is not an
this narrative that by the way is not an untrue narrative was mortifying because
untrue narrative was mortifying because
untrue narrative was mortifying because it’s continuing to share this out this
it’s continuing to share this out this
it’s continuing to share this out this video has since gone viral of this
video has since gone viral of this
video has since gone viral of this interview that is the story that we are
interview that is the story that we are
interview that is the story that we are telling about women and partially it’s
telling about women and partially it’s
telling about women and partially it’s true but it’s not the whole story the
true but it’s not the whole story the
true but it’s not the whole story the whole story starts with a before and
whole story starts with a before and
whole story starts with a before and moves forward into how we shift from
moves forward into how we shift from
moves forward into how we shift from here so I’ll talk a little bit about how
here so I’ll talk a little bit about how
here so I’ll talk a little bit about how we got to this magical space of where
we got to this magical space of where
we got to this magical space of where paradigm in the narrative has really
paradigm in the narrative has really
paradigm in the narrative has really shifted to women not caring about other
shifted to women not caring about other
shifted to women not caring about other women because if we don’t know this we
women because if we don’t know this we
women because if we don’t know this we can’t move forward one culturally this
can’t move forward one culturally this
can’t move forward one culturally this is how we were raised in this country
is how we were raised in this country
is how we were raised in this country women or boys rather and girls are
women or boys rather and girls are
women or boys rather and girls are raised differently so think about when
raised differently so think about when
raised differently so think about when little boys are young we teach our sons
little boys are young we teach our sons
little boys are young we teach our sons to play sports whether it be basketball
to play sports whether it be basketball
to play sports whether it be basketball or football they know that there will be
or football they know that there will be
or football they know that there will be a winner and there will be a loser and
a winner and there will be a loser and
a winner and there will be a loser and no matter what you will shake hands at
no matter what you will shake hands at
no matter what you will shake hands at the end of that game so we are teaching
the end of that game so we are teaching
the end of that game so we are teaching our sons competence and confidence and
our sons competence and confidence and
our sons competence and confidence and the ability to compete with somebody
the ability to compete with somebody
the ability to compete with somebody else and hopefully lose or win and still
else and hopefully lose or win and still
else and hopefully lose or win and still feel okay about yourself
feel okay about yourself
feel okay about yourself we’re teaching them to lead at very
we’re teaching them to lead at very
we’re teaching them to lead at very young ages also we take our sons to the
young ages also we take our sons to the
young ages also we take our sons to the beach and we put them in their tiny
beach and we put them in their tiny
beach and we put them in their tiny little speedos or perhaps it’s their
little speedos or perhaps it’s their
little speedos or perhaps it’s their short shorts what are the kids wear to
short shorts what are the kids wear to
short shorts what are the kids wear to the beaches these days
the beaches these days
the beaches these days but little boys are able to show up
but little boys are able to show up
but little boys are able to show up whether it be at a pool or at a beach
whether it be at a pool or at a beach
whether it be at a pool or at a beach and they show up and they show out and
and they show up and they show out and
and they show up and they show out and they are confident and happy and they
they are confident and happy and they
they are confident and happy and they run and they roam and they are allowed
run and they roam and they are allowed
run and they roam and they are allowed to experience childhood and all of their
to experience childhood and all of their
to experience childhood and all of their self in their full self in contrast our
self in their full self in contrast our
self in their full self in contrast our little girls we teach our daughters to
little girls we teach our daughters to
little girls we teach our daughters to be nice we teach them to be kind we
be nice we teach them to be kind we
be nice we teach them to be kind we teach them that somebody doesn’t have to
teach them that somebody doesn’t have to
teach them that somebody doesn’t have to lose or win it’s okay it’s all good just
lose or win it’s okay it’s all good just
lose or win it’s okay it’s all good just be nice and so what happens is that our
be nice and so what happens is that our
be nice and so what happens is that our daughters grow up and they can see that
daughters grow up and they can see that
daughters grow up and they can see that there is a difference between the
there is a difference between the
there is a difference between the qualities that are expected or the
qualities that are expected or the
qualities that are expected or the traits rather that are expected of them
traits rather that are expected of them
traits rather that are expected of them versus their little brothers there let
versus their little brothers there let
versus their little brothers there let little brothers are allowed to compete
little brothers are allowed to compete
little brothers are allowed to compete their big brothers are allowed to lead
their big brothers are allowed to lead
their big brothers are allowed to lead because no one’s telling them to be nice
because no one’s telling them to be nice
because no one’s telling them to be nice no one’s acknowledging those traits for
no one’s acknowledging those traits for
no one’s acknowledging those traits for them so our little girls are being
them so our little girls are being
them so our little girls are being raised to understand that there is a
raised to understand that there is a
raised to understand that there is a difference in expectation and that same
difference in expectation and that same
difference in expectation and that same exact situation at the beach from I
exact situation at the beach from I
exact situation at the beach from I don’t know maybe three months or so we
don’t know maybe three months or so we
don’t know maybe three months or so we put our babies in bikinis or one-piece
put our babies in bikinis or one-piece
put our babies in bikinis or one-piece bathing
bathing
bathing and it all seems very cute when they’re
and it all seems very cute when they’re
and it all seems very cute when they’re this big but again here’s what we’re
this big but again here’s what we’re
this big but again here’s what we’re teaching little girls your brother he
teaching little girls your brother he
teaching little girls your brother he can show up he doesn’t have to cover up
can show up he doesn’t have to cover up
can show up he doesn’t have to cover up but you you should and so what that
but you you should and so what that
but you you should and so what that message is sharing with our little girls
message is sharing with our little girls
message is sharing with our little girls is shame because what’s appropriate for
is shame because what’s appropriate for
is shame because what’s appropriate for their brothers their cousins their
their brothers their cousins their
their brothers their cousins their friends is not appropriate for them and
friends is not appropriate for them and
friends is not appropriate for them and that shame manifests and adult women so
that shame manifests and adult women so
that shame manifests and adult women so how many of you for example have ever
how many of you for example have ever
how many of you for example have ever seen an adult woman breastfeeding I mean
seen an adult woman breastfeeding I mean
seen an adult woman breastfeeding I mean obviously an adult woman breastfeeding
obviously an adult woman breastfeeding
obviously an adult woman breastfeeding yeah a lot of us how many of you have
yeah a lot of us how many of you have
yeah a lot of us how many of you have experienced a woman breastfeeding her
experienced a woman breastfeeding her
experienced a woman breastfeeding her baby that has her babies smothered under
baby that has her babies smothered under
baby that has her babies smothered under a blanket yeah
a blanket yeah
a blanket yeah because here’s what happens we’d rather
because here’s what happens we’d rather
because here’s what happens we’d rather cover our baby up than to have you see a
cover our baby up than to have you see a
cover our baby up than to have you see a boob because we’ve grown up in a culture
boob because we’ve grown up in a culture
boob because we’ve grown up in a culture where that is not acceptable that is the
where that is not acceptable that is the
where that is not acceptable that is the shame that goes from childhood into
shame that goes from childhood into
shame that goes from childhood into adulthood and that’s what I’m referring
adulthood and that’s what I’m referring
adulthood and that’s what I’m referring to and I say this is how we’re raised so
to and I say this is how we’re raised so
to and I say this is how we’re raised so boys and girls are not raised the same
boys and girls are not raised the same
boys and girls are not raised the same in this country
in this country
in this country second unconscious gender bias is real
second unconscious gender bias is real
second unconscious gender bias is real and all that means is that we have
and all that means is that we have
and all that means is that we have expectations of someone based on their
expectations of someone based on their
expectations of someone based on their bias so we are for example expecting
bias so we are for example expecting
bias so we are for example expecting girls or women to be nice and we’re
girls or women to be nice and we’re
girls or women to be nice and we’re expecting men to be direct and to lead
expecting men to be direct and to lead
expecting men to be direct and to lead us to show us the way there was an
us to show us the way there was an
us to show us the way there was an incredible interview that I watched with
incredible interview that I watched with
incredible interview that I watched with Sheryl Sandberg and Oprah Winfrey and
Sheryl Sandberg and Oprah Winfrey and
Sheryl Sandberg and Oprah Winfrey and Sheryl Sandberg said you know women are
Sheryl Sandberg said you know women are
Sheryl Sandberg said you know women are still referred to or women are still
still referred to or women are still
still referred to or women are still expecting other women to be to rather be
expecting other women to be to rather be
expecting other women to be to rather be nice we expect women to be nice even now
nice we expect women to be nice even now
nice we expect women to be nice even now I stand on this stage as a feminist and
I stand on this stage as a feminist and
I stand on this stage as a feminist and I still expect a woman to be nice here’s
I still expect a woman to be nice here’s
I still expect a woman to be nice here’s what could happen here’s a great example
what could happen here’s a great example
what could happen here’s a great example if a man walked into a room and said hey
if a man walked into a room and said hey
if a man walked into a room and said hey I’ll need this by four o’clock we might
I’ll need this by four o’clock we might
I’ll need this by four o’clock we might go okay yeah sure at 4 o’clock if a
go okay yeah sure at 4 o’clock if a
go okay yeah sure at 4 o’clock if a woman walked into the room and did the
woman walked into the room and did the
woman walked into the room and did the exact same thing
exact same thing
exact same thing she’s assertive she’s aggressive she’s
she’s assertive she’s aggressive she’s
she’s assertive she’s aggressive she’s bitchy and she’s too direct because she
bitchy and she’s too direct because she
bitchy and she’s too direct because she didn’t have small talk first she didn’t
didn’t have small talk first she didn’t
didn’t have small talk first she didn’t ask me how my kids were doing she didn’t
ask me how my kids were doing she didn’t
ask me how my kids were doing she didn’t ask how my husband
ask how my husband
ask how my husband do you ever expect a man to walk into a
do you ever expect a man to walk into a
do you ever expect a man to walk into a room and ask you how your kids are doing
room and ask you how your kids are doing
room and ask you how your kids are doing no but even as women we expect that
no but even as women we expect that
no but even as women we expect that behavior of other women so it’s no
behavior of other women so it’s no
behavior of other women so it’s no surprise that we are in the place that
surprise that we are in the place that
surprise that we are in the place that we’re in today and then there’s the tall
we’re in today and then there’s the tall
we’re in today and then there’s the tall poppy syndrome the tall poppy syndrome
poppy syndrome the tall poppy syndrome
poppy syndrome the tall poppy syndrome is envy based the tall poppy syndrome is
is envy based the tall poppy syndrome is
is envy based the tall poppy syndrome is not something that we refer to a lot in
not something that we refer to a lot in
not something that we refer to a lot in the US but it’s talked about a lot more
the US but it’s talked about a lot more
the US but it’s talked about a lot more in Australia and it’s the idea that tall
in Australia and it’s the idea that tall
in Australia and it’s the idea that tall poppies or poppies that are in a field
poppies or poppies that are in a field
poppies or poppies that are in a field are meant to grow at about the same
are meant to grow at about the same
are meant to grow at about the same height and when one grows too high it
height and when one grows too high it
height and when one grows too high it gets chopped down so this is I love the
gets chopped down so this is I love the
gets chopped down so this is I love the audience going yeah yeah so this is what
audience going yeah yeah so this is what
audience going yeah yeah so this is what we do to women and women we do this to
we do to women and women we do this to
we do to women and women we do this to other women when women get a little bit
other women when women get a little bit
other women when women get a little bit too successful it makes us uncomfortable
too successful it makes us uncomfortable
too successful it makes us uncomfortable when they ask for a little bit too much
when they ask for a little bit too much
when they ask for a little bit too much and actually get it we don’t like that
and actually get it we don’t like that
and actually get it we don’t like that either so again these are not qualities
either so again these are not qualities
either so again these are not qualities or traits that we want to show off for
or traits that we want to show off for
or traits that we want to show off for the world because there’s a lot of shame
the world because there’s a lot of shame
the world because there’s a lot of shame behind them this tall poppy syndrome
behind them this tall poppy syndrome
behind them this tall poppy syndrome stems from envy it stems from jealousy
stems from envy it stems from jealousy
stems from envy it stems from jealousy remember we’re nice nice people aren’t
remember we’re nice nice people aren’t
remember we’re nice nice people aren’t jealous nice people aren’t envious so no
jealous nice people aren’t envious so no
jealous nice people aren’t envious so no we don’t want to admit to this and then
we don’t want to admit to this and then
we don’t want to admit to this and then there’s the imposter complex so we’re
there’s the imposter complex so we’re
there’s the imposter complex so we’re the tall poppy syndrome was envy based
the tall poppy syndrome was envy based
the tall poppy syndrome was envy based the imposter complex is fear-based
the imposter complex is fear-based
the imposter complex is fear-based the imposter complex as Tanya Geisler
the imposter complex as Tanya Geisler
the imposter complex as Tanya Geisler refers to it where we are unable to
refers to it where we are unable to
refers to it where we are unable to internalize our own successes so if any
internalize our own successes so if any
internalize our own successes so if any of you question whether or not you’ve
of you question whether or not you’ve
of you question whether or not you’ve experienced it it may sound something
experienced it it may sound something
experienced it it may sound something like this hey you did a great job out
like this hey you did a great job out
like this hey you did a great job out there and then you respond to go ah you
there and then you respond to go ah you
there and then you respond to go ah you know it really could have been better
know it really could have been better
know it really could have been better because I forgot this i forgot this and
because I forgot this i forgot this and
because I forgot this i forgot this and i forgot that sound familiar
i forgot that sound familiar
i forgot that sound familiar yeah here’s here’s a super example my
yeah here’s here’s a super example my
yeah here’s here’s a super example my mom for thanksgiving made a six-course
mom for thanksgiving made a six-course
mom for thanksgiving made a six-course meal six people six-course meal everyone
meal six people six-course meal everyone
meal six people six-course meal everyone proceeded to tell her how amazing the
proceeded to tell her how amazing the
proceeded to tell her how amazing the meal was she made 13 pies there’s only
meal was she made 13 pies there’s only
meal was she made 13 pies there’s only four kids she made 13 pies as everyone
four kids she made 13 pies as everyone
four kids she made 13 pies as everyone proceeded to tell her how amazing the
proceeded to tell her how amazing the
proceeded to tell her how amazing the meal was do you know what her response
meal was do you know what her response
meal was do you know what her response was
was
was it wasn’t thank you it was this that
it wasn’t thank you it was this that
it wasn’t thank you it was this that roast beef was dry kinda sounds silly
roast beef was dry kinda sounds silly
roast beef was dry kinda sounds silly but it’s the truth that is the impostor
but it’s the truth that is the impostor
but it’s the truth that is the impostor complex we are unable to internalize our
complex we are unable to internalize our
complex we are unable to internalize our own successes and it stems from one
own successes and it stems from one
own successes and it stems from one overwhelming feeling and that feeling is
overwhelming feeling and that feeling is
overwhelming feeling and that feeling is fear fear that we are not enough we are
fear fear that we are not enough we are
fear fear that we are not enough we are not good enough we are not as good as
not good enough we are not as good as
not good enough we are not as good as someone else maybe and so that shows up
someone else maybe and so that shows up
someone else maybe and so that shows up for us so we’ve talked about several
for us so we’ve talked about several
for us so we’ve talked about several ways in which we’ve gotten here and none
ways in which we’ve gotten here and none
ways in which we’ve gotten here and none of them are exceptionally beautiful but
of them are exceptionally beautiful but
of them are exceptionally beautiful but they are in fact our truth so you see
they are in fact our truth so you see
they are in fact our truth so you see women didn’t just wake up one day and
women didn’t just wake up one day and
women didn’t just wake up one day and decide not to be nice to other women no
decide not to be nice to other women no
decide not to be nice to other women no that’s not what happened
that’s not what happened
that’s not what happened we were culturally in many ways taught
we were culturally in many ways taught
we were culturally in many ways taught to show up the way we do today so this
to show up the way we do today so this
to show up the way we do today so this we are in fact in our culture taught to
we are in fact in our culture taught to
we are in fact in our culture taught to shun women I’ll share with you a story
shun women I’ll share with you a story
shun women I’ll share with you a story as I said I sent her on the stage a
as I said I sent her on the stage a
as I said I sent her on the stage a feminist with hot pink hair and pink
feminist with hot pink hair and pink
feminist with hot pink hair and pink lipstick and high heels who works
lipstick and high heels who works
lipstick and high heels who works specifically with women I attend a lot
specifically with women I attend a lot
specifically with women I attend a lot of women’s events and I would like to
of women’s events and I would like to
of women’s events and I would like to think that I know better I mean I know
think that I know better I mean I know
think that I know better I mean I know how we got here so why would I show up
how we got here so why would I show up
how we got here so why would I show up in the world in this way except I do and
in the world in this way except I do and
in the world in this way except I do and I have and I’ve been guilty of every
I have and I’ve been guilty of every
I have and I’ve been guilty of every single one of those last month I was at
single one of those last month I was at
single one of those last month I was at one of those events that I swear I don’t
one of those events that I swear I don’t
one of those events that I swear I don’t know how I get invited to these things
know how I get invited to these things
know how I get invited to these things but I did and there was a line wrapped
but I did and there was a line wrapped
but I did and there was a line wrapped around the block and I was on the VIP
around the block and I was on the VIP
around the block and I was on the VIP list so I was inside and I was having
list so I was inside and I was having
list so I was inside and I was having champagne with a girlfriend I don’t even
champagne with a girlfriend I don’t even
champagne with a girlfriend I don’t even like champagne but I was having
like champagne but I was having
like champagne but I was having champagne with a girlfriend and I I kid
champagne with a girlfriend and I I kid
champagne with a girlfriend and I I kid you not I just turned to the left for a
you not I just turned to the left for a
you not I just turned to the left for a second and I swear it looked like the
second and I swear it looked like the
second and I swear it looked like the crowds parted ways PS there were 1500
crowds parted ways PS there were 1500
crowds parted ways PS there were 1500 women at this event the crowds parted
women at this event the crowds parted
women at this event the crowds parted ways and this stunning woman walked
ways and this stunning woman walked
ways and this stunning woman walked through she had on a one-piece outfit
through she had on a one-piece outfit
through she had on a one-piece outfit and her thing was hanging out so I said
and her thing was hanging out so I said
and her thing was hanging out so I said everything yeah so but here’s what
everything yeah so but here’s what
everything yeah so but here’s what happened next I stood there I put my
happened next I stood there I put my
happened next I stood there I put my champagne down on the table I put my
champagne down on the table I put my
champagne down on the table I put my hands on
hands on
hands on hips and I went mm-hmm now why would she
hips and I went mm-hmm now why would she
hips and I went mm-hmm now why would she show up like that with everything
show up like that with everything
show up like that with everything hanging out I run a business to empower
hanging out I run a business to empower
hanging out I run a business to empower women but that was the thought that came
women but that was the thought that came
women but that was the thought that came to mind for me and I caught myself and I
to mind for me and I caught myself and I
to mind for me and I caught myself and I said Cindy this is not about that woman
said Cindy this is not about that woman
said Cindy this is not about that woman so here’s what I did next I kept my
so here’s what I did next I kept my
so here’s what I did next I kept my champagne down on the table for about
champagne down on the table for about
champagne down on the table for about 1.5 more seconds I picked it up and I
1.5 more seconds I picked it up and I
1.5 more seconds I picked it up and I sauntered over to a floor mentioned
sauntered over to a floor mentioned
sauntered over to a floor mentioned beautiful woman and I said hey beautiful
beautiful woman and I said hey beautiful
beautiful woman and I said hey beautiful woman how did you get the courage to
woman how did you get the courage to
woman how did you get the courage to show up in a room of 1,500 powerful
show up in a room of 1,500 powerful
show up in a room of 1,500 powerful women dressed like that
women dressed like that
women dressed like that we spent I love this it feels like
we spent I love this it feels like
we spent I love this it feels like church thank you for that we spent the
church thank you for that we spent the
church thank you for that we spent the next half an hour in a conversation that
next half an hour in a conversation that
next half an hour in a conversation that ended in laughter and in tears and what
ended in laughter and in tears and what
ended in laughter and in tears and what that taught me was this there’s an
that taught me was this there’s an
that taught me was this there’s an amazing quote by brené Brown in her
amazing quote by brené Brown in her
amazing quote by brené Brown in her newest book and she says we cannot hate
newest book and she says we cannot hate
newest book and she says we cannot hate people close up she was right
people close up she was right
people close up she was right because the second I walked over to this
because the second I walked over to this
because the second I walked over to this woman and had a conversation she was me
woman and had a conversation she was me
woman and had a conversation she was me and we can laugh and we can cry and we
and we can laugh and we can cry and we
and we can laugh and we can cry and we can share one another’s truths and so
can share one another’s truths and so
can share one another’s truths and so we’ve got to be willing to move in to
we’ve got to be willing to move in to
we’ve got to be willing to move in to lean in and to have those conversations
lean in and to have those conversations
lean in and to have those conversations more honestly so you may be wondering
more honestly so you may be wondering
more honestly so you may be wondering where do we go from here how do we go
where do we go from here how do we go
where do we go from here how do we go from sharing the narrative where we all
from sharing the narrative where we all
from sharing the narrative where we all hate each other and we’re only
hate each other and we’re only
hate each other and we’re only pretending to uplift each other to one
pretending to uplift each other to one
pretending to uplift each other to one in which we actually do it’s not that
in which we actually do it’s not that
in which we actually do it’s not that hard and there are four R’s to remember
hard and there are four R’s to remember
hard and there are four R’s to remember first recognize and acknowledge how you
first recognize and acknowledge how you
first recognize and acknowledge how you feel and that these feelings are not
feel and that these feelings are not
feel and that these feelings are not about the other woman so the next time a
about the other woman so the next time a
about the other woman so the next time a beautiful woman walks into the room just
beautiful woman walks into the room just
beautiful woman walks into the room just honor that recognize like oh yeah I
honor that recognize like oh yeah I
honor that recognize like oh yeah I checked her out definitely checked her
checked her out definitely checked her
checked her out definitely checked her out
out
out and I and I’m thinking the things that
and I and I’m thinking the things that
and I and I’m thinking the things that I’m thinking definitely thinking those
I’m thinking definitely thinking those
I’m thinking definitely thinking those things but equally acknowledge that it’s
things but equally acknowledge that it’s
things but equally acknowledge that it’s not about her because she didn’t
not about her because she didn’t
not about her because she didn’t actually do anything she just showed up
actually do anything she just showed up
actually do anything she just showed up being awesome the way we all should
being awesome the way we all should
being awesome the way we all should second redirect those feelings towards
second redirect those feelings towards
second redirect those feelings towards empathy toward grace and curiosity and
empathy toward grace and curiosity and
empathy toward grace and curiosity and what I mean when I say that is redirect
what I mean when I say that is redirect
what I mean when I say that is redirect those feelings toward ourselves so
those feelings toward ourselves so
those feelings toward ourselves so rather than feeling shame around the way
rather than feeling shame around the way
rather than feeling shame around the way that we feel when a beautiful woman or a
that we feel when a beautiful woman or a
that we feel when a beautiful woman or a successful woman walks in the room show
successful woman walks in the room show
successful woman walks in the room show ourselves grace show ourselves empathy
ourselves grace show ourselves empathy
ourselves grace show ourselves empathy be curious have the conversation and
be curious have the conversation and
be curious have the conversation and explore however do take responsibility
explore however do take responsibility
explore however do take responsibility and accountability for your fears
and accountability for your fears
and accountability for your fears because when we acknowledge what is true
because when we acknowledge what is true
because when we acknowledge what is true for us it gives the power back because
for us it gives the power back because
for us it gives the power back because fear can no longer take hold of us the
fear can no longer take hold of us the
fear can no longer take hold of us the third are reach out and build conscious
third are reach out and build conscious
third are reach out and build conscious community as long as we as women
community as long as we as women
community as long as we as women continue to see ourselves as other we
continue to see ourselves as other we
continue to see ourselves as other we will never come together we can never
will never come together we can never
will never come together we can never truly empower other women so we must
truly empower other women so we must
truly empower other women so we must change this narrative because when we do
change this narrative because when we do
change this narrative because when we do come together we change history
come together we change history
come together we change history insert women’s March history-making
insert women’s March history-making
insert women’s March history-making January 21st 2017 yeah give a high five
January 21st 2017 yeah give a high five
January 21st 2017 yeah give a high five to the women’s March I am not mad at
to the women’s March I am not mad at
to the women’s March I am not mad at them we were there fourth are actually
them we were there fourth are actually
them we were there fourth are actually this is a great quote it says there’s a
this is a great quote it says there’s a
this is a great quote it says there’s a quiet transformation happening that is
quiet transformation happening that is
quiet transformation happening that is moving us from turning on each other
moving us from turning on each other
moving us from turning on each other instead turning toward each other
instead turning toward each other
instead turning toward each other Piper nee Brown and that’s what I mean
Piper nee Brown and that’s what I mean
Piper nee Brown and that’s what I mean by build conscious community finally
by build conscious community finally
by build conscious community finally reflect and live your deepest values in
reflect and live your deepest values in
reflect and live your deepest values in your why because when you give yourself
your why because when you give yourself
your why because when you give yourself permission to show up in the world for
permission to show up in the world for
permission to show up in the world for everything that you are and boldly stand
everything that you are and boldly stand
everything that you are and boldly stand up and tell your truth you are
up and tell your truth you are
up and tell your truth you are empowering one another to do the same as
empowering one another to do the same as
empowering one another to do the same as women we are permission givers for one
women we are permission givers for one
women we are permission givers for one another and we have got to take that
another and we have got to take that
another and we have got to take that role seriously so recognize redirect
role seriously so recognize redirect
role seriously so recognize redirect reach out and reflect
reach out and reflect
reach out and reflect we must first get to know ourselves and
we must first get to know ourselves and
we must first get to know ourselves and hold a mirror up to our relationships
hold a mirror up to our relationships
hold a mirror up to our relationships with other women before we can move
with other women before we can move
with other women before we can move forward your courage your empathy and
forward your courage your empathy and
forward your courage your empathy and your grace our permission giving and
your grace our permission giving and
your grace our permission giving and more so they are visionary for everyone
more so they are visionary for everyone
more so they are visionary for everyone around you and it is only via these
around you and it is only via these
around you and it is only via these behaviors that we can truly and
behaviors that we can truly and
behaviors that we can truly and collectively rise thank you
”
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