I’m a nervous teenager waiting in the wings about to go on stage for one of
wings about to go on stage for one of
wings about to go on stage for one of the most important roles in my fledgling
the most important roles in my fledgling
the most important roles in my fledgling career I’m in ballet school my heart’s
career I’m in ballet school my heart’s
career I’m in ballet school my heart’s pounding in my chest and butterflies are
pounding in my chest and butterflies are
pounding in my chest and butterflies are circling my insides both legs are
circling my insides both legs are
circling my insides both legs are burning with a pain relief cream that
burning with a pain relief cream that
burning with a pain relief cream that I’ve liberally applied I didn’t want
I’ve liberally applied I didn’t want
I’ve liberally applied I didn’t want them let the part go to my understudy
them let the part go to my understudy
them let the part go to my understudy I’d been fooling myself and hiding the
I’d been fooling myself and hiding the
I’d been fooling myself and hiding the truth from others but in that moment
truth from others but in that moment
truth from others but in that moment there was doubt I really did not know if
there was doubt I really did not know if
there was doubt I really did not know if I could pull the performance off with
I could pull the performance off with
I could pull the performance off with any credibility at all
any credibility at all
any credibility at all I had him flamed and painfully
I had him flamed and painfully
I had him flamed and painfully excruciatingly ly painful hamstrings
excruciatingly ly painful hamstrings
excruciatingly ly painful hamstrings with micro tears and I just really did
with micro tears and I just really did
with micro tears and I just really did not know whether I could do it but that
not know whether I could do it but that
not know whether I could do it but that moment didn’t last for long because the
moment didn’t last for long because the
moment didn’t last for long because the music erupted and my cue to go onstage
music erupted and my cue to go onstage
music erupted and my cue to go onstage arrived I took a deep breath and I ran
arrived I took a deep breath and I ran
arrived I took a deep breath and I ran on to the stage and instantly there was
on to the stage and instantly there was
on to the stage and instantly there was a transformation there was stillness and
a transformation there was stillness and
a transformation there was stillness and I realized that I was no longer the
I realized that I was no longer the
I realized that I was no longer the insecure nervous teenager standing in
insecure nervous teenager standing in
insecure nervous teenager standing in the wings the pain had vanished and the
the wings the pain had vanished and the
the wings the pain had vanished and the artist in me had taken over through that
artist in me had taken over through that
artist in me had taken over through that pain I just continued to lie to myself
pain I just continued to lie to myself
pain I just continued to lie to myself and those around me in rehearsals I’d
and those around me in rehearsals I’d
and those around me in rehearsals I’d become used to pushing up against pain
become used to pushing up against pain
become used to pushing up against pain barriers an enduring increasing
barriers an enduring increasing
barriers an enduring increasing emotional strain but the pressure I put
emotional strain but the pressure I put
emotional strain but the pressure I put on myself as an artist and the fear of
on myself as an artist and the fear of
on myself as an artist and the fear of just falling short of creative
just falling short of creative
just falling short of creative excellence was bringing a new doubt that
excellence was bringing a new doubt that
excellence was bringing a new doubt that I had never encountered before at that
I had never encountered before at that
I had never encountered before at that time I definitely couldn’t have
time I definitely couldn’t have
time I definitely couldn’t have articulated it and I’m sure the
articulated it and I’m sure the
articulated it and I’m sure the wouldn’t have wanted to either but this
wouldn’t have wanted to either but this
wouldn’t have wanted to either but this looking back this was the single point
looking back this was the single point
looking back this was the single point that I would say to find my career in
that I would say to find my career in
that I would say to find my career in dance this was my first encounter with
dance this was my first encounter with
dance this was my first encounter with breaking point which I want to explore
breaking point which I want to explore
breaking point which I want to explore through my talk what do I mean by
through my talk what do I mean by
through my talk what do I mean by breaking point it’s different to pushing
breaking point it’s different to pushing
breaking point it’s different to pushing up against a barrier or a block it’s
up against a barrier or a block it’s
up against a barrier or a block it’s that moment of greatest stress or strain
that moment of greatest stress or strain
that moment of greatest stress or strain where the situation just becomes
where the situation just becomes
where the situation just becomes critical and something or someone just
critical and something or someone just
critical and something or someone just gives way my life in dance has been
gives way my life in dance has been
gives way my life in dance has been varied and in exciting I’ve been really
varied and in exciting I’ve been really
varied and in exciting I’ve been really privileged to perform many leading roles
privileged to perform many leading roles
privileged to perform many leading roles especially in Swan Lake and Nutcracker
especially in Swan Lake and Nutcracker
especially in Swan Lake and Nutcracker and now as an artistic director I have
and now as an artistic director I have
and now as an artistic director I have 20 years of as artistic director
20 years of as artistic director
20 years of as artistic director nurturing other young dancers pushing
nurturing other young dancers pushing
nurturing other young dancers pushing them to their breaking point and helping
them to their breaking point and helping
them to their breaking point and helping them and guiding them on a career of
them and guiding them on a career of
them and guiding them on a career of dance I want us to reflect about our
dance I want us to reflect about our
dance I want us to reflect about our relationship with breaking point
relationship with breaking point
relationship with breaking point your relationship with breaking point
your relationship with breaking point
your relationship with breaking point but through the eyes of a dancer let’s
but through the eyes of a dancer let’s
but through the eyes of a dancer let’s look at what it takes to become a
look at what it takes to become a
look at what it takes to become a professional ballet dancer ideally you
professional ballet dancer ideally you
professional ballet dancer ideally you would start at the age of four wearing
would start at the age of four wearing
would start at the age of four wearing your pretty dresses globally girls
your pretty dresses globally girls
your pretty dresses globally girls usually start around their age boys
usually start around their age boys
usually start around their age boys would start later and you would need
would start later and you would need
would start later and you would need parental support a class nearby it’s
parental support a class nearby it’s
parental support a class nearby it’s very easy for a little one to start
very easy for a little one to start
very easy for a little one to start dancing at the next stage which is
dancing at the next stage which is
dancing at the next stage which is around the age of 10 there has to be a
around the age of 10 there has to be a
around the age of 10 there has to be a mental shift to see if dancing is going
mental shift to see if dancing is going
mental shift to see if dancing is going to be more than just a hobby and that
to be more than just a hobby and that
to be more than just a hobby and that will depends on the individual and their
will depends on the individual and their
will depends on the individual and their environment and perhaps their teacher as
environment and perhaps their teacher as
environment and perhaps their teacher as puberty arrives both the body and the
puberty arrives both the body and the
puberty arrives both the body and the personality changes and you’ll find out
personality changes and you’ll find out
personality changes and you’ll find out whether you have a suitable physique to
whether you have a suitable physique to
whether you have a suitable physique to become a ballet dancer and maybe the
become a ballet dancer and maybe the
become a ballet dancer and maybe the character to push on towards new
character to push on towards new
character to push on towards new challenges teenage years though is where
challenges teenage years though is where
challenges teenage years though is where there’s a lot of pressure the pressure
there’s a lot of pressure the pressure
there’s a lot of pressure the pressure comes from schoolwork
comes from schoolwork
comes from schoolwork balancing your schoolwork which you can
balancing your schoolwork which you can
balancing your schoolwork which you can if lots and lots of classes you need to
if lots and lots of classes you need to
if lots and lots of classes you need to do class every day and social pressure
do class every day and social pressure
do class every day and social pressure we also come to social pressure at some
we also come to social pressure at some
we also come to social pressure at some time in our lives so this usually
time in our lives so this usually
time in our lives so this usually removes about half the class and then
removes about half the class and then
removes about half the class and then comes the point that I was looking at
comes the point that I was looking at
comes the point that I was looking at through my own eyes the beginning the
through my own eyes the beginning the
through my own eyes the beginning the final moment of truth that will
final moment of truth that will
final moment of truth that will determine whether you have a career in
determine whether you have a career in
determine whether you have a career in dance or will it just remain an
dance or will it just remain an
dance or will it just remain an unfulfilled childhood dream
unfulfilled childhood dream
unfulfilled childhood dream last year I undertook a journey with two
last year I undertook a journey with two
last year I undertook a journey with two young performers Maya and Peeta and it
young performers Maya and Peeta and it
young performers Maya and Peeta and it was the first time either of them were
was the first time either of them were
was the first time either of them were performing a lead it was an intuitive
performing a lead it was an intuitive
performing a lead it was an intuitive choice for me but it was definitely a
choice for me but it was definitely a
choice for me but it was definitely a gamble for all three of us I knew that
gamble for all three of us I knew that
gamble for all three of us I knew that they had never been pushed to their
they had never been pushed to their
they had never been pushed to their limits before that’s what I knew but
limits before that’s what I knew but
limits before that’s what I knew but what I didn’t know was what they were
what I didn’t know was what they were
what I didn’t know was what they were going to do when they come up against it
going to do when they come up against it
going to do when they come up against it when they came to their own breaking
when they came to their own breaking
when they came to their own breaking point I didn’t know how they were react
point I didn’t know how they were react
point I didn’t know how they were react I didn’t know if they were capable of
I didn’t know if they were capable of
I didn’t know if they were capable of pushing through to the other side and
pushing through to the other side and
pushing through to the other side and they neither did that did they but
they neither did that did they but
they neither did that did they but that’s the risk I take Maya comes from a
that’s the risk I take Maya comes from a
that’s the risk I take Maya comes from a comfortable lifestyle she’s a lucky girl
comfortable lifestyle she’s a lucky girl
comfortable lifestyle she’s a lucky girl she goes to International School and
she goes to International School and
she goes to International School and travels the world with her family on
travels the world with her family on
travels the world with her family on vacations she started dancing with me at
vacations she started dancing with me at
vacations she started dancing with me at the age of four and she comes from a
the age of four and she comes from a
the age of four and she comes from a family who are immersed in the arts
family who are immersed in the arts
family who are immersed in the arts Peter comes from a single mom who worked
Peter comes from a single mom who worked
Peter comes from a single mom who worked hard to feed her son and his sisters and
hard to feed her son and his sisters and
hard to feed her son and his sisters and she also worked really hard keeping him
she also worked really hard keeping him
she also worked really hard keeping him from getting into trouble on the streets
from getting into trouble on the streets
from getting into trouble on the streets of Koramangala Peter began dancing
of Koramangala Peter began dancing
of Koramangala Peter began dancing around the age of 8 they learn new
around the age of 8 they learn new
around the age of 8 they learn new choreography and came up against a lot
choreography and came up against a lot
choreography and came up against a lot of physical pain constant rehearsals
of physical pain constant rehearsals
of physical pain constant rehearsals exhaustion pressure close personal
exhaustion pressure close personal
exhaustion pressure close personal contact and continuously drenched in
contact and continuously drenched in
contact and continuously drenched in each other’s sweat they faced more
each other’s sweat they faced more
each other’s sweat they faced more challenges with technical steps they
challenges with technical steps they
challenges with technical steps they were advanced steps requiring strength
were advanced steps requiring strength
were advanced steps requiring strength precision and perfect timing but Peter
precision and perfect timing but Peter
precision and perfect timing but Peter and Maya persevered and through months
and Maya persevered and through months
and Maya persevered and through months of
of
of continuous rehearsal and now capable of
continuous rehearsal and now capable of
continuous rehearsal and now capable of producing a graceful and seemingly
producing a graceful and seemingly
producing a graceful and seemingly effortless piece of artistry
effortless piece of artistry
effortless piece of artistry [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
playing a lead role in a performance is
playing a lead role in a performance is more than just focusing on yourself it
more than just focusing on yourself it
more than just focusing on yourself it means that you’re holding the entire
means that you’re holding the entire
means that you’re holding the entire show together and the pressure from that
show together and the pressure from that
show together and the pressure from that can just keep building to a point of
can just keep building to a point of
can just keep building to a point of breakdown successful artist has learned
breakdown successful artist has learned
breakdown successful artist has learned to rise above this Maya came to me two
to rise above this Maya came to me two
to rise above this Maya came to me two weeks before the show with severe pain
weeks before the show with severe pain
weeks before the show with severe pain in her feet exhaustion and primarily her
in her feet exhaustion and primarily her
in her feet exhaustion and primarily her own growing insecurity as that moment of
own growing insecurity as that moment of
own growing insecurity as that moment of truth was going to arrive she was
truth was going to arrive she was
truth was going to arrive she was dealing with her own battles but she was
dealing with her own battles but she was
dealing with her own battles but she was also feeling the strain from her partner
also feeling the strain from her partner
also feeling the strain from her partner in this insane rehearsal Peter was
in this insane rehearsal Peter was
in this insane rehearsal Peter was struggling with heat and suffocation
struggling with heat and suffocation
struggling with heat and suffocation from his costume
from his costume
from his costume he had fans and water to cool him but it
he had fans and water to cool him but it
he had fans and water to cool him but it just began to get the better of him and
just began to get the better of him and
just began to get the better of him and he was out of time with her music
he was out of time with her music
he was out of time with her music forgetting the choreography he was
forgetting the choreography he was
forgetting the choreography he was losing control of his emotions and both
losing control of his emotions and both
losing control of his emotions and both he and Maya were beginning to blame each
he and Maya were beginning to blame each
he and Maya were beginning to blame each other for their mistakes but they were
other for their mistakes but they were
other for their mistakes but they were blaming it in each other in a very
blaming it in each other in a very
blaming it in each other in a very classic way for dancers which is a
classic way for dancers which is a
classic way for dancers which is a passive-aggressive body language the
passive-aggressive body language the
passive-aggressive body language the gamble we had all taken was beginning to
gamble we had all taken was beginning to
gamble we had all taken was beginning to unravel and both of them were far far
unravel and both of them were far far
unravel and both of them were far far far beyond their comfort zones they were
far beyond their comfort zones they were
far beyond their comfort zones they were trying to keep themselves together
trying to keep themselves together
trying to keep themselves together mentally and knowing what was at stake
mentally and knowing what was at stake
mentally and knowing what was at stake and how far that they had already come I
and how far that they had already come I
and how far that they had already come I confronted them and bought focus to the
confronted them and bought focus to the
confronted them and bought focus to the point that we’d arrived at bringing each
point that we’d arrived at bringing each
point that we’d arrived at bringing each other down and the production it was not
other down and the production it was not
other down and the production it was not an option but this was a really big
an option but this was a really big
an option but this was a really big weight resting on their young shoulders
weight resting on their young shoulders
weight resting on their young shoulders so from that moment I saw an immediate
so from that moment I saw an immediate
so from that moment I saw an immediate mental shift that United them and they
mental shift that United them and they
mental shift that United them and they were now offering support to each other
were now offering support to each other
were now offering support to each other with a very powerful tool of eye contact
with a very powerful tool of eye contact
with a very powerful tool of eye contact instead of using it for inflicting
instead of using it for inflicting
instead of using it for inflicting damage we see exquisite movement
damage we see exquisite movement
damage we see exquisite movement seamless flow controlled energetic
seamless flow controlled energetic
seamless flow controlled energetic rhythm within the performer lies a story
rhythm within the performer lies a story
rhythm within the performer lies a story of falling up a cruel mount
of falling up a cruel mount
of falling up a cruel mount through snow storms and blizzards and in
through snow storms and blizzards and in
through snow storms and blizzards and in that moment you can have injuries and
that moment you can have injuries and
that moment you can have injuries and you safety and sanity is questions you
you safety and sanity is questions you
you safety and sanity is questions you even think should I should be here
even think should I should be here
even think should I should be here should I not be here so what were Peter
should I not be here so what were Peter
should I not be here so what were Peter and Maya thinking in that moment of
and Maya thinking in that moment of
and Maya thinking in that moment of breakdown how did they make that
breakdown how did they make that
breakdown how did they make that necessary shift to emerge through to the
necessary shift to emerge through to the
necessary shift to emerge through to the other side have they changed themselves
other side have they changed themselves
other side have they changed themselves forever
forever
forever or have they pushed those barriers or
or have they pushed those barriers or
or have they pushed those barriers or that breaking point further away and
that breaking point further away and
that breaking point further away and what about us do we know where our
what about us do we know where our
what about us do we know where our breaking point is do you know where your
breaking point is do you know where your
breaking point is do you know where your breaking point is do you know how you
breaking point is do you know how you
breaking point is do you know how you will respond in that moment do you
will respond in that moment do you
will respond in that moment do you assume to know where somebody else is
assume to know where somebody else is
assume to know where somebody else is breaking point is do you ask you when
breaking point is do you ask you when
breaking point is do you ask you when you meet someone that you know exactly
you meet someone that you know exactly
you meet someone that you know exactly where that point is and how that they’re
where that point is and how that they’re
where that point is and how that they’re going to push through it or when it will
going to push through it or when it will
going to push through it or when it will even arrive I don’t have all the answers
even arrive I don’t have all the answers
even arrive I don’t have all the answers but I am totally confident in my own
but I am totally confident in my own
but I am totally confident in my own ignorance of everybody else’s breaking
ignorance of everybody else’s breaking
ignorance of everybody else’s breaking point I’ve seen hundreds of dancers push
point I’ve seen hundreds of dancers push
point I’ve seen hundreds of dancers push through their breaking point and I’ve
through their breaking point and I’ve
through their breaking point and I’ve seen many more just fall away but I
seen many more just fall away but I
seen many more just fall away but I would really like to give you a concise
would really like to give you a concise
would really like to give you a concise lift list of points that you should do
lift list of points that you should do
lift list of points that you should do when you meet your breaking point or
when you meet your breaking point or
when you meet your breaking point or another list of personal traits for all
another list of personal traits for all
another list of personal traits for all the people that succeed and those that
the people that succeed and those that
the people that succeed and those that don’t but I really can’t because it’s
don’t but I really can’t because it’s
don’t but I really can’t because it’s just not that simple
breaking point for me is a test of your
breaking point for me is a test of your whole being in that moment having
whole being in that moment having
whole being in that moment having reflected on this at length I force
reflected on this at length I force
reflected on this at length I force myself to accept that even though I’ve
myself to accept that even though I’ve
myself to accept that even though I’ve successfully broken through many many
successfully broken through many many
successfully broken through many many breaking points in my life I cannot
breaking points in my life I cannot
breaking points in my life I cannot guarantee how I will respond to the next
guarantee how I will respond to the next
guarantee how I will respond to the next given that we live in a universe of
given that we live in a universe of
given that we live in a universe of impermanence
impermanence
impermanence we are also
we are also
we are also constantly changing and when we are
constantly changing and when we are
constantly changing and when we are given the test again we cannot know how
given the test again we cannot know how
given the test again we cannot know how the new me will respond each time we
the new me will respond each time we
the new me will respond each time we reach breaking point a new set of unique
reach breaking point a new set of unique
reach breaking point a new set of unique circumstances collide and you will find
circumstances collide and you will find
circumstances collide and you will find out firsthand what your personal
out firsthand what your personal
out firsthand what your personal singularity pressure point looks like
singularity pressure point looks like
singularity pressure point looks like and what happens next
”
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