hi everyone my name is Kimberly rich and today I’m going to be talking with you
today I’m going to be talking with you
today I’m going to be talking with you about something
about something
about something that we’re all very familiar with yet
that we’re all very familiar with yet
that we’re all very familiar with yet simultaneously we’re all trying to avoid
simultaneously we’re all trying to avoid
simultaneously we’re all trying to avoid and that is regret in 1986 a group of
and that is regret in 1986 a group of
and that is regret in 1986 a group of researchers at Cornell University
researchers at Cornell University
researchers at Cornell University conducted a study to better understand
conducted a study to better understand
conducted a study to better understand how and why we experience regret more
how and why we experience regret more
how and why we experience regret more specifically they wanted to know which
specifically they wanted to know which
specifically they wanted to know which caused greater feelings of regret things
caused greater feelings of regret things
caused greater feelings of regret things that we did or things that we wished
that we did or things that we wished
that we did or things that we wished we’ve done they interviewed over 600
we’ve done they interviewed over 600
we’ve done they interviewed over 600 people in their 70s and asked if you
people in their 70s and asked if you
people in their 70s and asked if you could live your life over again what
could live your life over again what
could live your life over again what would you do differently while 12%
would you do differently while 12%
would you do differently while 12% listed the things that they had done
listed the things that they had done
listed the things that they had done things that they regretted doing a
things that they regretted doing a
things that they regretted doing a whopping 54% described all the things
whopping 54% described all the things
whopping 54% described all the things that they wished they had done all the
that they wished they had done all the
that they wished they had done all the opportunities that they had missed out
opportunities that they had missed out
opportunities that they had missed out on so why this discrepancy well what
on so why this discrepancy well what
on so why this discrepancy well what they found was that the regret we feel
they found was that the regret we feel
they found was that the regret we feel for things that we’ve done though in
for things that we’ve done though in
for things that we’ve done though in tents only lasts a short period of time
tents only lasts a short period of time
tents only lasts a short period of time weeks maybe months but the regret that
weeks maybe months but the regret that
weeks maybe months but the regret that we feel for things that we missed out on
we feel for things that we missed out on
we feel for things that we missed out on that can extend throughout a lifetime so
that can extend throughout a lifetime so
that can extend throughout a lifetime so statistically speaking more than half of
statistically speaking more than half of
statistically speaking more than half of you will get to the end of your life
you will get to the end of your life
you will get to the end of your life still feeling regret for all the things
still feeling regret for all the things
still feeling regret for all the things you didn’t do why why is this such a
you didn’t do why why is this such a
you didn’t do why why is this such a common problem well the simple answer
common problem well the simple answer
common problem well the simple answer because most of us are scared and we
because most of us are scared and we
because most of us are scared and we choose to lead an easy life we choose to
choose to lead an easy life we choose to
choose to lead an easy life we choose to take the safe path and by doing so we
take the safe path and by doing so we
take the safe path and by doing so we start to rack up those regrets but there
start to rack up those regrets but there
start to rack up those regrets but there is a solution to lead a fulfilling
is a solution to lead a fulfilling
is a solution to lead a fulfilling regret free life you just have to be
regret free life you just have to be
regret free life you just have to be willing to do one thing you have to be
willing to do one thing you have to be
willing to do one thing you have to be willing to be bold when I first had this
willing to be bold when I first had this
willing to be bold when I first had this realization that boldness was so
realization that boldness was so
realization that boldness was so integral to finding fulfillment I
integral to finding fulfillment I
integral to finding fulfillment I devoted my life to spreading this
devoted my life to spreading this
devoted my life to spreading this message
message
message I read book after book and attended
I read book after book and attended
I read book after book and attended seminar
seminar
seminar and ultimately I started coaching people
and ultimately I started coaching people
and ultimately I started coaching people on how they too could embody a bolder
on how they too could embody a bolder
on how they too could embody a bolder lifestyle I’ve spent the past two years
lifestyle I’ve spent the past two years
lifestyle I’ve spent the past two years interviewing inspiring individuals for
interviewing inspiring individuals for
interviewing inspiring individuals for my podcast people who have been able to
my podcast people who have been able to
my podcast people who have been able to create adventurous regret free lives
create adventurous regret free lives
create adventurous regret free lives based on this one common theme embracing
based on this one common theme embracing
based on this one common theme embracing their inner boldness but before I tell
their inner boldness but before I tell
their inner boldness but before I tell you how you can start to be bolder in
you how you can start to be bolder in
you how you can start to be bolder in your life I need to tell you how I got
your life I need to tell you how I got
your life I need to tell you how I got to this place
to this place
to this place because trust me I was not always living
because trust me I was not always living
because trust me I was not always living lessly
lessly
lessly like most people in our society I
like most people in our society I
like most people in our society I believe that life looks like this you go
believe that life looks like this you go
believe that life looks like this you go to high school then college and you get
to high school then college and you get
to high school then college and you get a job find a mate buy a house make a
a job find a mate buy a house make a
a job find a mate buy a house make a baby and live happily ever after
baby and live happily ever after
baby and live happily ever after it seems pretty easy right well I gave
it seems pretty easy right well I gave
it seems pretty easy right well I gave it my best attempt I graduated college
it my best attempt I graduated college
it my best attempt I graduated college in 2008 which as you may remember was
in 2008 which as you may remember was
in 2008 which as you may remember was the best possible time that one could
the best possible time that one could
the best possible time that one could hope to be getting a job so to be safe I
hope to be getting a job so to be safe I
hope to be getting a job so to be safe I took the first job that was offered to
took the first job that was offered to
took the first job that was offered to me and it ended up being the exact job I
me and it ended up being the exact job I
me and it ended up being the exact job I said I would never do so for two and a
said I would never do so for two and a
said I would never do so for two and a half years I made cold calls to
half years I made cold calls to
half years I made cold calls to government employees and I’m sure that
government employees and I’m sure that
government employees and I’m sure that they were as thrilled about it as I was
they were as thrilled about it as I was
they were as thrilled about it as I was about the same time that I got my dream
about the same time that I got my dream
about the same time that I got my dream job I also got into a very safe
job I also got into a very safe
job I also got into a very safe relationship with someone who was all
relationship with someone who was all
relationship with someone who was all wrong for me we did the couple things we
wrong for me we did the couple things we
wrong for me we did the couple things we went on vacations happy hours nice
went on vacations happy hours nice
went on vacations happy hours nice dinners but there was little to no
dinners but there was little to no
dinners but there was little to no passion and I stayed with him for a year
passion and I stayed with him for a year
passion and I stayed with him for a year because I was too scared to leave
because I was too scared to leave
because I was too scared to leave well the turning point came like most
well the turning point came like most
well the turning point came like most big shifts in our life slowly and then
big shifts in our life slowly and then
big shifts in our life slowly and then all at once I started taking risks first
all at once I started taking risks first
all at once I started taking risks first by leaving the relationship and then
by leaving the relationship and then
by leaving the relationship and then eventually the job and then at my next
eventually the job and then at my next
eventually the job and then at my next employer I took another even bigger risk
employer I took another even bigger risk
employer I took another even bigger risk by proposing an international remote
by proposing an international remote
by proposing an international remote work agreement something that no one
work agreement something that no one
work agreement something that no one else was asking for but ultimately the
else was asking for but ultimately the
else was asking for but ultimately the biggest shift came when I read a little
biggest shift came when I read a little
biggest shift came when I read a little book called the 4-hour workweek after
book called the 4-hour workweek after
book called the 4-hour workweek after reading Tim Ferriss book I had hope and
reading Tim Ferriss book I had hope and
reading Tim Ferriss book I had hope and I stopped believing that I was stuck
I stopped believing that I was stuck
I stopped believing that I was stuck feeling overworked and under travelled
feeling overworked and under travelled
feeling overworked and under travelled for the rest of my life I stopped
for the rest of my life I stopped
for the rest of my life I stopped believing that I was stuck driving an
believing that I was stuck driving an
believing that I was stuck driving an hour long
hour long
hour long every day for the rest of my life and in
every day for the rest of my life and in
every day for the rest of my life and in 2013 just four months after reading this
2013 just four months after reading this
2013 just four months after reading this book through a series of very bold
book through a series of very bold
book through a series of very bold decisions I quit my corporate job and I
decisions I quit my corporate job and I
decisions I quit my corporate job and I moved overseas I spent the next two
moved overseas I spent the next two
moved overseas I spent the next two years traveling all over Europe and
years traveling all over Europe and
years traveling all over Europe and Southeast Asia working anywhere that had
Southeast Asia working anywhere that had
Southeast Asia working anywhere that had a decent Wi-Fi connection
a decent Wi-Fi connection
a decent Wi-Fi connection I studied things like internet
I studied things like internet
I studied things like internet entrepreneurship which eventually led me
entrepreneurship which eventually led me
entrepreneurship which eventually led me to personal development which led me to
to personal development which led me to
to personal development which led me to my business the bold life movement and
my business the bold life movement and
my business the bold life movement and ultimately to the stage what I hope you
ultimately to the stage what I hope you
ultimately to the stage what I hope you can see though is that this was a
can see though is that this was a
can see though is that this was a process that took time the bold moves
process that took time the bold moves
process that took time the bold moves that I made evolved over the years with
that I made evolved over the years with
that I made evolved over the years with every risk that I took my comfort zone
every risk that I took my comfort zone
every risk that I took my comfort zone expanded and with every bold action I
expanded and with every bold action I
expanded and with every bold action I eliminated the potential for those
eliminated the potential for those
eliminated the potential for those future feelings of regret today we’re
future feelings of regret today we’re
future feelings of regret today we’re going to talk about how you can do the
going to talk about how you can do the
going to talk about how you can do the same and I’ll share with you three
same and I’ll share with you three
same and I’ll share with you three secrets that I’ve uncovered through
secrets that I’ve uncovered through
secrets that I’ve uncovered through hundreds of hours of research and
hundreds of hours of research and
hundreds of hours of research and interviews and years of personally
interviews and years of personally
interviews and years of personally living these truths myself so to avoid
living these truths myself so to avoid
living these truths myself so to avoid regret number one ask for what you want
regret number one ask for what you want
regret number one ask for what you want the quickest and easiest way to start
the quickest and easiest way to start
the quickest and easiest way to start getting what you want is to have the
getting what you want is to have the
getting what you want is to have the audacity to ask for it this space seems
audacity to ask for it this space seems
audacity to ask for it this space seems so obvious and so simple but for some
so obvious and so simple but for some
so obvious and so simple but for some people asking for what they want is as
people asking for what they want is as
people asking for what they want is as terrifying as getting up on stage in
terrifying as getting up on stage in
terrifying as getting up on stage in front of a large crowd but the truth is
front of a large crowd but the truth is
front of a large crowd but the truth is that we don’t know what seemingly out of
that we don’t know what seemingly out of
that we don’t know what seemingly out of reach things can start to become within
reach things can start to become within
reach things can start to become within our grasp until we start to ask I’ll
our grasp until we start to ask I’ll
our grasp until we start to ask I’ll share with you a personal story my mom
share with you a personal story my mom
share with you a personal story my mom somehow became a huge fan of an
somehow became a huge fan of an
somehow became a huge fan of an australian-based
australian-based
australian-based TV show unfortunately the producers of
TV show unfortunately the producers of
TV show unfortunately the producers of this show know that without their fans
this show know that without their fans
this show know that without their fans it just wouldn’t be as successful so
it just wouldn’t be as successful so
it just wouldn’t be as successful so throughout the year they host these
throughout the year they host these
throughout the year they host these different events where the fans and the
different events where the fans and the
different events where the fans and the actors can come together she has taken
actors can come together she has taken
actors can come together she has taken full advantage of this and flown all the
full advantage of this and flown all the
full advantage of this and flown all the way to Australia more times than I can
way to Australia more times than I can
way to Australia more times than I can count so for her birthday last year I
count so for her birthday last year I
count so for her birthday last year I thought it would be a really great gift
thought it would be a really great gift
thought it would be a really great gift if I could get the actor in the show to
if I could get the actor in the show to
if I could get the actor in the show to send her a happy birthday message I knew
send her a happy birthday message I knew
send her a happy birthday message I knew it was a big stretch but I figured what
it was a big stretch but I figured what
it was a big stretch but I figured what do I have to lose
do I have to lose
do I have to lose so the day before her birthday I logged
so the day before her birthday I logged
so the day before her birthday I logged into Instagram I opened a private
into Instagram I opened a private
into Instagram I opened a private message to him I sat there for about ten
message to him I sat there for about ten
message to him I sat there for about ten minutes with my finger hovering over the
minutes with my finger hovering over the
minutes with my finger hovering over the record button because I was very nervous
record button because I was very nervous
record button because I was very nervous and then eventually I recorded a video
and then eventually I recorded a video
and then eventually I recorded a video and hit Send the next day I couldn’t
and hit Send the next day I couldn’t
and hit Send the next day I couldn’t believe when his message came through
believe when his message came through
believe when his message came through not only had he actually responded to me
not only had he actually responded to me
not only had he actually responded to me but he had sent the most thoughtful
but he had sent the most thoughtful
but he had sent the most thoughtful video ever
video ever
video ever fortunately she and I happened to be
fortunately she and I happened to be
fortunately she and I happened to be skyping at the time and I was able to
skyping at the time and I was able to
skyping at the time and I was able to capture her reaction take a look she’s
capture her reaction take a look she’s
capture her reaction take a look she’s so happy right hopefully you can see how
so happy right hopefully you can see how
so happy right hopefully you can see how being bold enough to ask for what you
being bold enough to ask for what you
being bold enough to ask for what you want doesn’t just benefit you it can
want doesn’t just benefit you it can
want doesn’t just benefit you it can benefit the people in your life too the
benefit the people in your life too the
benefit the people in your life too the interesting thing is that most of us
interesting thing is that most of us
interesting thing is that most of us underestimate how likely people are to
underestimate how likely people are to
underestimate how likely people are to say yes a recent study at the Stanford
say yes a recent study at the Stanford
say yes a recent study at the Stanford Graduate School of Business illustrates
Graduate School of Business illustrates
Graduate School of Business illustrates this point really well they had
this point really well they had
this point really well they had participants go out with the goal of
participants go out with the goal of
participants go out with the goal of getting five strangers to complete a
getting five strangers to complete a
getting five strangers to complete a short questionnaire they also asked the
short questionnaire they also asked the
short questionnaire they also asked the participants to estimate how many people
participants to estimate how many people
participants to estimate how many people they’d have to approach to reach this
they’d have to approach to reach this
they’d have to approach to reach this goal well most of the participants
goal well most of the participants
goal well most of the participants overestimated how many people it would
overestimated how many people it would
overestimated how many people it would take in fact they thought it would take
take in fact they thought it would take
take in fact they thought it would take twice as many as it did to get those
twice as many as it did to get those
twice as many as it did to get those five signatures on average participants
five signatures on average participants
five signatures on average participants only needed to ask about 10 people
only needed to ask about 10 people
only needed to ask about 10 people that’s a 50% success rate which is
that’s a 50% success rate which is
that’s a 50% success rate which is comparable to what had been seen in
comparable to what had been seen in
comparable to what had been seen in other studies so if you are
other studies so if you are
other studies so if you are three percent more likely to get what
three percent more likely to get what
three percent more likely to get what you want just by asking why would you
you want just by asking why would you
you want just by asking why would you forego that opportunity it could be as
forego that opportunity it could be as
forego that opportunity it could be as simple as asking the barista to fix your
simple as asking the barista to fix your
simple as asking the barista to fix your coffee order because they messed it up
coffee order because they messed it up
coffee order because they messed it up or asking for an upgraded seat on your
or asking for an upgraded seat on your
or asking for an upgraded seat on your next flight
next flight
next flight it could be asking your boss for the
it could be asking your boss for the
it could be asking your boss for the afternoon off
afternoon off
afternoon off simply because you need a mental-health
simply because you need a mental-health
simply because you need a mental-health day having the audacity to ask for what
day having the audacity to ask for what
day having the audacity to ask for what you want doesn’t make you an asshole
you want doesn’t make you an asshole
you want doesn’t make you an asshole being bold doesn’t make you a bad person
being bold doesn’t make you a bad person
being bold doesn’t make you a bad person at the end of every podcast episode I
at the end of every podcast episode I
at the end of every podcast episode I asked my guests to tell me what their
asked my guests to tell me what their
asked my guests to tell me what their definition of leading a bold life is one
definition of leading a bold life is one
definition of leading a bold life is one of my favorite all-time responses came
of my favorite all-time responses came
of my favorite all-time responses came from former lawyer turned travel writer
from former lawyer turned travel writer
from former lawyer turned travel writer and food blogger Jody Attenberg Jody
and food blogger Jody Attenberg Jody
and food blogger Jody Attenberg Jody said being bold is different from being
said being bold is different from being
said being bold is different from being brash there’s a subtlety and a roundness
brash there’s a subtlety and a roundness
brash there’s a subtlety and a roundness to being bold that is classy it means
to being bold that is classy it means
to being bold that is classy it means being unapologetic about the things that
being unapologetic about the things that
being unapologetic about the things that you love a life isn’t it great it’s not
you love a life isn’t it great it’s not
you love a life isn’t it great it’s not aggressive it’s confident if you’re not
aggressive it’s confident if you’re not
aggressive it’s confident if you’re not willing to ask for the small things how
willing to ask for the small things how
willing to ask for the small things how are you gonna be willing to ask for the
are you gonna be willing to ask for the
are you gonna be willing to ask for the things that really matter today it’s a
things that really matter today it’s a
things that really matter today it’s a better table at a restaurant but next
better table at a restaurant but next
better table at a restaurant but next year it could mean having the guts to
year it could mean having the guts to
year it could mean having the guts to ask your spouse to move your entire
ask your spouse to move your entire
ask your spouse to move your entire family across the country for a job that
family across the country for a job that
family across the country for a job that you really want to often we forgo asking
you really want to often we forgo asking
you really want to often we forgo asking for what we want because we’re scared of
for what we want because we’re scared of
for what we want because we’re scared of being budged we’re scared of imposing or
being budged we’re scared of imposing or
being budged we’re scared of imposing or we’re scared of being told no news flash
we’re scared of being told no news flash
we’re scared of being told no news flash if you don’t ask the answer is always no
if you don’t ask the answer is always no
if you don’t ask the answer is always no and here’s a pro tip sometimes the best
and here’s a pro tip sometimes the best
and here’s a pro tip sometimes the best possible time to ask is after you’ve
possible time to ask is after you’ve
possible time to ask is after you’ve already heard that initial now one of my
already heard that initial now one of my
already heard that initial now one of my favorite personal examples of what can
favorite personal examples of what can
favorite personal examples of what can happen when you were free refused to
happen when you were free refused to
happen when you were free refused to take no for an answer came when my dad
take no for an answer came when my dad
take no for an answer came when my dad was discharged from the US Air Force
was discharged from the US Air Force
was discharged from the US Air Force halfway through Officer Training School
halfway through Officer Training School
halfway through Officer Training School now you should know that my dad spent
now you should know that my dad spent
now you should know that my dad spent his entire life preparing to be a pilot
his entire life preparing to be a pilot
his entire life preparing to be a pilot in the Air Force he got his pilot’s
in the Air Force he got his pilot’s
in the Air Force he got his pilot’s license at 16 he graduated college in
license at 16 he graduated college in
license at 16 he graduated college in three
three
three with a degree in aviation and he a s–t
with a degree in aviation and he a s–t
with a degree in aviation and he a s–t all of his aptitude tests but halfway
all of his aptitude tests but halfway
all of his aptitude tests but halfway through training they faced an overage
through training they faced an overage
through training they faced an overage of officers so they changed their
of officers so they changed their
of officers so they changed their policies and made some cuts well my dad
policies and made some cuts well my dad
policies and made some cuts well my dad being a very reasonable man decided to
being a very reasonable man decided to
being a very reasonable man decided to write a letter to the person in charge
write a letter to the person in charge
write a letter to the person in charge of the entire military if you don’t know
of the entire military if you don’t know
of the entire military if you don’t know that person is the commander in chief
that person is the commander in chief
that person is the commander in chief sometimes called the President of the
sometimes called the President of the
sometimes called the President of the United States his bold letter to
United States his bold letter to
United States his bold letter to President Ford earned him a phone call
President Ford earned him a phone call
President Ford earned him a phone call from the Pentagon just a few days later
from the Pentagon just a few days later
from the Pentagon just a few days later and within four years my dad had been
and within four years my dad had been
and within four years my dad had been reinstated he had completed Officer
reinstated he had completed Officer
reinstated he had completed Officer Training School and he had earned his
Training School and he had earned his
Training School and he had earned his wings he spent the next 23 years serving
wings he spent the next 23 years serving
wings he spent the next 23 years serving his country and living out his dream
his country and living out his dream
his country and living out his dream what dream are you giving up because
what dream are you giving up because
what dream are you giving up because you’re so willing to accept no as the
you’re so willing to accept no as the
you’re so willing to accept no as the answer or worse not make the ask at all
answer or worse not make the ask at all
answer or worse not make the ask at all to avoid regret you have to be bold so
to avoid regret you have to be bold so
to avoid regret you have to be bold so ask for the little things ask for the
ask for the little things ask for the
ask for the little things ask for the big things as for the things that no one
big things as for the things that no one
big things as for the things that no one else is asking for you never know what
else is asking for you never know what
else is asking for you never know what people will be willing to say yes to
people will be willing to say yes to
people will be willing to say yes to until you give them the chance the
until you give them the chance the
until you give them the chance the second way to avoid regret is to think
second way to avoid regret is to think
second way to avoid regret is to think different in the 90s Apple nailed it
different in the 90s Apple nailed it
different in the 90s Apple nailed it with their think different ad campaign
with their think different ad campaign
with their think different ad campaign because they weren’t just improving the
because they weren’t just improving the
because they weren’t just improving the way that we listen to music or the way
way that we listen to music or the way
way that we listen to music or the way we use computers they were creating an
we use computers they were creating an
we use computers they were creating an entirely new way of doing it they were
entirely new way of doing it they were
entirely new way of doing it they were willing to think outside the box and to
willing to think outside the box and to
willing to think outside the box and to challenge the status quo to get what
challenge the status quo to get what
challenge the status quo to get what they wanted and ultimately if you want
they wanted and ultimately if you want
they wanted and ultimately if you want to get what you want you have to be
to get what you want you have to be
to get what you want you have to be willing to do the same last year one of
willing to do the same last year one of
willing to do the same last year one of my favorite authors and bloggers Chris
my favorite authors and bloggers Chris
my favorite authors and bloggers Chris Guillebeau came through Austin on a book
Guillebeau came through Austin on a book
Guillebeau came through Austin on a book signing tour I was determined to show
signing tour I was determined to show
signing tour I was determined to show him my appreciation for his work when it
him my appreciation for his work when it
him my appreciation for his work when it came time for him to sign my book now I
came time for him to sign my book now I
came time for him to sign my book now I knew the best way to do that was to just
knew the best way to do that was to just
knew the best way to do that was to just be myself and to accept that that meant
be myself and to accept that that meant
be myself and to accept that that meant being a bit different from everyone else
being a bit different from everyone else
being a bit different from everyone else in line for me the most authentic form
in line for me the most authentic form
in line for me the most authentic form of appreciation is a handmade gift so I
of appreciation is a handmade gift so I
of appreciation is a handmade gift so I made Chris a watercolor illustrating all
made Chris a watercolor illustrating all
made Chris a watercolor illustrating all the ways that his work
the ways that his work
the ways that his work had impacted my life naturally I was
had impacted my life naturally I was
had impacted my life naturally I was terrified to give it to him because I
terrified to give it to him because I
terrified to give it to him because I didn’t want him to think I was some
didn’t want him to think I was some
didn’t want him to think I was some wacko fan but when it came time for him
wacko fan but when it came time for him
wacko fan but when it came time for him to sign my book I jumped up I was the
to sign my book I jumped up I was the
to sign my book I jumped up I was the first person in line too nervous to eat
first person in line too nervous to eat
first person in line too nervous to eat and in the end he was so touched and so
and in the end he was so touched and so
and in the end he was so touched and so taken aback by the gesture that he ended
taken aback by the gesture that he ended
taken aback by the gesture that he ended up asking me for my contact information
up asking me for my contact information
up asking me for my contact information by thinking differently about that
by thinking differently about that
by thinking differently about that opportunity I was able to leverage it
opportunity I was able to leverage it
opportunity I was able to leverage it far beyond what I ever could have
far beyond what I ever could have
far beyond what I ever could have imagined
imagined
imagined since then chris has been a guest on my
since then chris has been a guest on my
since then chris has been a guest on my podcast and last year he even invited me
podcast and last year he even invited me
podcast and last year he even invited me to host a session at his annual
to host a session at his annual
to host a session at his annual conference to avoid regret you have to
conference to avoid regret you have to
conference to avoid regret you have to be bold if you want to create
be bold if you want to create
be bold if you want to create opportunities in your life be willing to
opportunities in your life be willing to
opportunities in your life be willing to think differently be willing to
think differently be willing to
think differently be willing to challenge the status quo and be willing
challenge the status quo and be willing
challenge the status quo and be willing to stand out the third and final secret
to stand out the third and final secret
to stand out the third and final secret to avoiding regret is to trust your gut
to avoiding regret is to trust your gut
to avoiding regret is to trust your gut only you know what is best for you and
only you know what is best for you and
only you know what is best for you and if you want to lead a fulfilling and
if you want to lead a fulfilling and
if you want to lead a fulfilling and authentic life then you need to be
authentic life then you need to be
authentic life then you need to be willing to fulfill your dreams and
willing to fulfill your dreams and
willing to fulfill your dreams and desires no matter what anyone else in
desires no matter what anyone else in
desires no matter what anyone else in your life
your life
your life thinks says or would do let me share
thinks says or would do let me share
thinks says or would do let me share with you a personal story that may
with you a personal story that may
with you a personal story that may surprise you when I was in high school I
surprise you when I was in high school I
surprise you when I was in high school I used to spend a lot of time on AOL
used to spend a lot of time on AOL
used to spend a lot of time on AOL Instant Messenger so much time in fact
Instant Messenger so much time in fact
Instant Messenger so much time in fact that I ended up meeting a long-distance
that I ended up meeting a long-distance
that I ended up meeting a long-distance boyfriend and falling in love
boyfriend and falling in love
boyfriend and falling in love we lived 3,000 miles apart on opposite
we lived 3,000 miles apart on opposite
we lived 3,000 miles apart on opposite sides of the country but because my dad
sides of the country but because my dad
sides of the country but because my dad was a pilot I had flight benefits and we
was a pilot I had flight benefits and we
was a pilot I had flight benefits and we were able to make it work keep in mind
were able to make it work keep in mind
were able to make it work keep in mind though this is pre tender pre online
though this is pre tender pre online
though this is pre tender pre online dating and I was in high school so this
dating and I was in high school so this
dating and I was in high school so this was very taboo for the times but we had
was very taboo for the times but we had
was very taboo for the times but we had connected over instant messenger and
connected over instant messenger and
connected over instant messenger and fallen in love over the phone and we
fallen in love over the phone and we
fallen in love over the phone and we even took it as far as going to prom
even took it as far as going to prom
even took it as far as going to prom together when we went off to college
together when we went off to college
together when we went off to college things ended on somewhat of a sour note
things ended on somewhat of a sour note
things ended on somewhat of a sour note and for years I thought he hated me and
and for years I thought he hated me and
and for years I thought he hated me and didn’t know why for years I wanted
didn’t know why for years I wanted
didn’t know why for years I wanted closure because I’m a human fast forward
closure because I’m a human fast forward
closure because I’m a human fast forward to 2015
to 2015
to 2015 tenure
tenure
tenure later I found myself in his hometown
later I found myself in his hometown
later I found myself in his hometown attending a conference this was the
attending a conference this was the
attending a conference this was the first time I had been back since I was
first time I had been back since I was
first time I had been back since I was 17 so I looked him up at first I took
17 so I looked him up at first I took
17 so I looked him up at first I took the usual routes Facebook found nothing
the usual routes Facebook found nothing
the usual routes Facebook found nothing Instagram
Instagram nothing Twitter Linkedin Google all dead
nothing Twitter Linkedin Google all dead
nothing Twitter Linkedin Google all dead ends according to the internet he was
ends according to the internet he was
ends according to the internet he was virtually non-existent it wasn’t until I
virtually non-existent it wasn’t until I
virtually non-existent it wasn’t until I found a single Google image posted by
found a single Google image posted by
found a single Google image posted by his then employer did my luck sir change
his then employer did my luck sir change
his then employer did my luck sir change but there was no email address so I
but there was no email address so I
but there was no email address so I decided to pay him a visit at his office
decided to pay him a visit at his office
decided to pay him a visit at his office if alarm bells are ringing in your head
if alarm bells are ringing in your head
if alarm bells are ringing in your head and red flags are flying in front of
and red flags are flying in front of
and red flags are flying in front of your face that’s probably a very normal
your face that’s probably a very normal
your face that’s probably a very normal reaction but I wasn’t concerned with
reaction but I wasn’t concerned with
reaction but I wasn’t concerned with being normal I was on a mission I
being normal I was on a mission I
being normal I was on a mission I somehow convinced a good friend to come
somehow convinced a good friend to come
somehow convinced a good friend to come with me as moral support and to get
with me as moral support and to get
with me as moral support and to get myself pumped up we blasted I have the
myself pumped up we blasted I have the
myself pumped up we blasted I have the tiger in our rental car as we drove down
tiger in our rental car as we drove down
tiger in our rental car as we drove down the street to his office I was
the street to his office I was
the street to his office I was completely terrified but I also figured
completely terrified but I also figured
completely terrified but I also figured what’s the worst that could happen if
what’s the worst that could happen if
what’s the worst that could happen if nothing it will make for a very good
nothing it will make for a very good
nothing it will make for a very good story that unexpected drop-in ended up
story that unexpected drop-in ended up
story that unexpected drop-in ended up being one of the best things that’s ever
being one of the best things that’s ever
being one of the best things that’s ever happened to me of course he was shocked
happened to me of course he was shocked
happened to me of course he was shocked but he didn’t call the cops no in the
but he didn’t call the cops no in the
but he didn’t call the cops no in the end he was thrilled and we spent hours
end he was thrilled and we spent hours
end he was thrilled and we spent hours reconnecting any negativity once felt
reconnecting any negativity once felt
reconnecting any negativity once felt was a distant memory I knew in my heart
was a distant memory I knew in my heart
was a distant memory I knew in my heart that that reunion would be positive but
that that reunion would be positive but
that that reunion would be positive but I never could have known how much it
I never could have known how much it
I never could have known how much it would change my life the story of that
would change my life the story of that
would change my life the story of that encounter ended up being the first blog
encounter ended up being the first blog
encounter ended up being the first blog post on my website the bold life
post on my website the bold life
post on my website the bold life movement which has since turned into a
movement which has since turned into a
movement which has since turned into a coaching business a podcast and soon a
coaching business a podcast and soon a
coaching business a podcast and soon a book when your heart tells you to do
book when your heart tells you to do
book when your heart tells you to do something listen if the only thing
something listen if the only thing
something listen if the only thing keeping you from taking action is fear
keeping you from taking action is fear
keeping you from taking action is fear of judgment or failure or rejection I
of judgment or failure or rejection I
of judgment or failure or rejection I encourage you to move through it because
encourage you to move through it because
encourage you to move through it because trust me all of those people that you
trust me all of those people that you
trust me all of those people that you think are going to judge you
think are going to judge you
think are going to judge you they won’t be around when your
they won’t be around when your
they won’t be around when your 70s or 80s looking back on your life
70s or 80s looking back on your life
70s or 80s looking back on your life wishing that you had seized those
wishing that you had seized those
wishing that you had seized those opportunities to avoid regret you have
opportunities to avoid regret you have
opportunities to avoid regret you have to be bold so whether it’s a new
to be bold so whether it’s a new
to be bold so whether it’s a new business a new job a new romantic
business a new job a new romantic
business a new job a new romantic partner or an old one trust your gut
partner or an old one trust your gut
partner or an old one trust your gut because believe me you’ll never be able
because believe me you’ll never be able
because believe me you’ll never be able to please everyone else anyway so if
to please everyone else anyway so if
to please everyone else anyway so if you’re waiting for permission this is it
you’re waiting for permission this is it
you’re waiting for permission this is it no matter what the outcome is action
no matter what the outcome is action
no matter what the outcome is action always breeds clarity and failure is
always breeds clarity and failure is
always breeds clarity and failure is just another form of feedback so
just another form of feedback so
just another form of feedback so remember that regret is a choice and
remember that regret is a choice and
remember that regret is a choice and that it’s avoidable so be bold enough to
that it’s avoidable so be bold enough to
that it’s avoidable so be bold enough to ask for what you want be brave enough to
ask for what you want be brave enough to
ask for what you want be brave enough to think differently and always always
think differently and always always
think differently and always always always trust your gut thank you
always trust your gut thank you
always trust your gut thank you [Applause]
”
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