So, the first thing to say
is that I brought the claque, of course.
I’m here, they told me,
to make you a gift, to tell you a story,
and this story begins the day
in which I contacted one of the organizers of TEDx,
or Cecilia.
I was at home
and I was watching a TEDx of past editions,
intrigued by the singularity of the arguments,
when all of a sudden I had a kind of lighting, an idea.
I had an idea.
So I took the computer,
I immediately wrote an email that I sent so jet,
saying I had an idea
that I knew would be perfect for TED’s audience.
I do not usually act on impulse, but this time it happened.
I did not expect Cecilia’s answer,
who arrived in the day and said, “All right, call me now”.
Well, now I’ll call you right away, great.
I liked this sudden opening:
“Now I call her and tell her my idea”.
But which idea?
So, as a good psychologist of myself,
I stopped and I listened.
I tried to feel what was the idea inside of me that wanted to come out,
what was the content that wanted to emerge from this interaction.
I could talk about the relationship I have with my brother,
but it would be too personal
and then he, surely, would not agree – no.
I could talk about what it means to grow in a small village in the south,
which is called Quindici, of 1,500 inhabitants …
In Rovigo? No.
I could talk about how success is achieved –
if only I knew how to do it.
Anything.
The idea had hidden inside me and had taken refuge somewhere,
perhaps scared by the organizer’s too much openness.
What if he wanted to rip me off?
No. Stop. Enough paranoia.
Now call her and tell her the first thing that comes to mind;
if it will be fine, fine;
otherwise, it means you will have made a fool of yourself.
So I take the phone, dial the number, I call it
and – “Driiin”, the intercom rings.
I put the phone down, run to the intercom.
“It’s the idea”, I think.
And instead it was my partner.
Go up and tell her what I was doing,
that I had done this impulse, I did not even know why.
And she tells me that mine was a fantastic idea,
that I had been well thought out,
that surely I had so many things to share
with people of interest.
I tell her I was stupid, I should never have done it,
I should have thought about it before,
“How could such a thing come to my mind?”
And then, all of a sudden,
a sentence comes to me
that a child was telling me some time ago,
and doing so:
“No to call”, with a rude mosque.
Here she is. It’s the idea, it’s born.
He’s 12 years old actually,
his name is Lucas and he wears long blonde hair.
Lucas is a child, but he is not a child like any other:
besides being a child,
Lucas is a poet, Lucas is an anti-conformist,
Lucas is a revolutionary,
Lucas is a philosopher and also a thinker.
Unlike all other children –
or better, in common with all the other children,
Lucas does not like going to school.
But unlike all the other children,
Lucas does not love playing so much.
Lucas loves traveling and seeing new places in the world,
Lucas loves the skyscrapers of New York,
Lucas loves Niagara Falls,
Lucas loves to see new cities that arise,
such as Dubai.
But more than anything else, on all other things,
Lucas likes inflatables.
Lucas would do anything to go on the inflatables.
Do you think that at seven years he ran away from home
and went on the inflatables in the park near the house.
Fortunately, the police found it again,
otherwise it would probably still be there to hop.
Lucas loves classical music,
but not the one we can all hear:
Debussy does not like it,
who knows Giovanni Allevi, I never let him listen to him.
He likes the “Stabat Mater” by Pergolesi,
“Swan Lake” by Tchaikovsky.
Lucas does not like to see things untidy at home:
in particular, Lucas does not like to see
the fronds of the carpets that blend with each other:
they must be nice aligned, side by side,
and woe to those who dare to touch them.
Ah, I forgot, two small details:
Lucas has an autism spectrum disorder
and an intellectual deficit,
better known as mental retardation,
what we once called mental retardation.
Another thing I forgot to say about Lucas
is that when broken things, at home –
when things break, at home he takes them down to the cellar.
So when the stereo with which we listened to music was broken,
Lucas wanted to bring them “to … down … stay”.
Lucas is really a poet.
And like these many others that I’m not here to tell you now.
It would be hard to really explain
what is an autism spectrum disorder?
in 11 minutes and 27 seconds right now,
also because it is usually said about autism
that “every child with autism is different from another”,
but on the other hand every child is also different from another
and therefore it would be a squared difficulty,
to explain what autism is.
I hope with this talk to intrigue you
and I hope that once you get home you can spend five minutes
to search on Google for what autism is.
But let’s get back to us.
When I met Lucas, Lucas was very bad.
He spent his days kicking the wall, kicking his bed,
he screamed, he was sick.
And we were sick too, because we did not understand what it was.
Then, thanks to a pharmacological, psychological and even behavioral intervention,
Lucas started to get better and better, better and better, better and better.
Problems [tici] behaviors have diminished
and we could begin to establish a relationship, to get to know each other.
Lucas is not of many words, but we could play together.
So one day I went to his house
with my beautiful ideas on my mind about what I would do with him.
In technical jargon they are called “learning programs”.
And I had in mind what to do with him,
but that day Lucas started talking
as he had never done before.
Me: “Want to see what’s here, eh? See what I have here “
Look, there’s a sock!
Lucas: “Grandfather, grandfather is dead”
Me: “Come and see what I have”
Lucas: “When Lucas was small … before yesterday … before two yesterday …
first two more yesterday, but then there was grandfather “
Me: “First there was a grandfather …”
Lucas: “And now no more” Me: “And now it’s gone”
Lucas: “Other … first Otto. (a game we played with)
First, another Otto “
Me: “First there was a grandfather …”
Lucas: “Then there is not”
Me: “And now it’s gone”
Lucas: “First there is no more … then there was grandfather”
Me: “Before there was … and now it’s gone”
Lucas: “There was a grandfather …”
Me: “Before … now there is not”
Lucas: “There was a grandfather … there was a grandfather”
Me: “And how was Lucas when there was a grandfather?”
Lucas: “Little …”
Me: “He was small and he was happy”
Lucas: “First three … dead … then there was grandfather”
Me: “First there was the grandfather, with Lucas, grandfather and Lucas …”
“First contract [” meet “, pronounced badly]”
Me: “First ??”
Lucas: “contract”
Me: “contract?”
Lucas: “Then there was grandfather”
I do not understand”
Lucas: “meet, meet, then there was grandfather …
there was grandfather “
Me: “There was a grandfather before”
Lucas: “Yes”
Me: “And now grandfather?”
Lucas: “No more”
Me: “And how is Lucas?
Is it happy or sad now?
Now that the grandfather is not Lucas is …? “
Lucas: “Sad”
Me: “Sad. Instead when there was a grandfather? “
Lucas: “Before … more … no, there was a grandfather …
there was no grandfather … there was grandfather “
Me: “First there was grandpa … and it was different … now grandpa is gone”
Lucas: “First met … there was grandfather … after there was grandfather,
after there was grandfather “
Me: “Then”
Lucas: “After [pronounced correctly] there was grandfather …
ncontrare “
Me: “Would you like it to be here?”
Lucas: “ncontrare … ncare is gone”
Me: “Now it’s gone”
Lucas: “No meeting …
first more …
first two …
first other “
Me: “First you were two … and now?”
Lucas: “First I was there …”
[20 seconds later]
Lucas: “There was a grandfather.
there was … Francesco there was grandpa “
Me: “First there was the grandfather, yes”
Lucas: “Then there is no more” Me: “And now it’s gone”
At this point,
I threw away the programs and took a piece of paper.
I split it in half
and I wrote on one side “before” and on the other “after”.
On the one hand I designed Lucas with his father, mother and grandfather;
and on the other side I designed Lucas
but without grandfather,
but with the two parents.
I thought if he saw that he was not alone,
probably he would have felt less discouraged.
We were trying to avoid introducing very complex concepts
like heaven, heaven.
But someone must have told him that his grandfather is in heaven.
And so, from that day Lucas became a fan
of planets, stars, astronauts and Mars.
And also pigeons, with whom he occasionally speaks:
playing with them, he imitates them.
In addition, Lucas stops in front of a window,
in front of the window of his house,
and start looking at the sky.
And with his finger he paints some trajectories above the clouds,
who knows, perhaps hoping to meet his grandfather again.
“Bella storia”, Cecilia told me,
“But you miss the idea”.
The idea, my dear Cecilia,
and to all of you,
it is that without the others we are lost.
What if my companion had not arrived that day,
I would probably have lost myself in my ideas
and I probably would not be here talking to you.
That if Lucas had not exceeded its structural limit
to be able to talk to me,
he would probably still be very lonely and still very discouraged.
That if I had not listened to him that day,
I would probably still be thinking
what learning programs do with Lucas,
instead of spending some time to listen,
to be able to share what he had to tell me.
The idea is that the best ideas we can have
we have them when we are in touch with others,
with the people we love and with the people who love us.
Thank you.
(Applause)
Thank you.
”
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