20 years ago I went on a blind date in Naples Italy I had just arrived from the
Naples Italy I had just arrived from the
Naples Italy I had just arrived from the United States and I was fresh out of
United States and I was fresh out of
United States and I was fresh out of university I was ready for my experience
university I was ready for my experience
university I was ready for my experience abroad when the sky salvadora came to
abroad when the sky salvadora came to
abroad when the sky salvadora came to pick me up I thought he would take me to
pick me up I thought he would take me to
pick me up I thought he would take me to see the city or maybe to a pizzeria
see the city or maybe to a pizzeria
see the city or maybe to a pizzeria instead he took me home to his mama and
instead he took me home to his mama and
instead he took me home to his mama and papa I soon realized that I wasn’t in
papa I soon realized that I wasn’t in
papa I soon realized that I wasn’t in America anymore what I didn’t realize
America anymore what I didn’t realize
America anymore what I didn’t realize then was that this first dinner at
then was that this first dinner at
then was that this first dinner at Salvatore his family’s apartment was a
Salvatore his family’s apartment was a
Salvatore his family’s apartment was a turning point in my life a
turning point in my life a
turning point in my life a transformation I would learn how to boil
transformation I would learn how to boil
transformation I would learn how to boil an octopus and how to eat a pizza
an octopus and how to eat a pizza
an octopus and how to eat a pizza there’s a right way and a wrong way
there’s a right way and a wrong way
there’s a right way and a wrong way the crust is always the last but more
the crust is always the last but more
the crust is always the last but more importantly I would learn how to see the
importantly I would learn how to see the
importantly I would learn how to see the world in a different way and I took on a
world in a different way and I took on a
world in a different way and I took on a new identity today I’m going to talk a
new identity today I’m going to talk a
new identity today I’m going to talk a little bit about transformation I was
little bit about transformation I was
little bit about transformation I was one thing and I saw the world in one way
one thing and I saw the world in one way
one thing and I saw the world in one way and then something happened and I
and then something happened and I
and then something happened and I changed when you think about it
changed when you think about it
changed when you think about it literature is full of transformative
literature is full of transformative
literature is full of transformative moments look at the Odyssey at all of
moments look at the Odyssey at all of
moments look at the Odyssey at all of Greek tragedy look at the Bible Paul is
Greek tragedy look at the Bible Paul is
Greek tragedy look at the Bible Paul is on the road to Damascus when he’s
on the road to Damascus when he’s
on the road to Damascus when he’s blinded by light and then when he can
blinded by light and then when he can
blinded by light and then when he can see again he sees the world differently
see again he sees the world differently
see again he sees the world differently and his name and identity are changed we
and his name and identity are changed we
and his name and identity are changed we all have the potential to be radically
all have the potential to be radically
all have the potential to be radically transformed we can all make a shift and
transformed we can all make a shift and
transformed we can all make a shift and take up our new name well I wasn’t on
take up our new name well I wasn’t on
take up our new name well I wasn’t on any road to Damascus and I didn’t see
any road to Damascus and I didn’t see
any road to Damascus and I didn’t see the light
the light
the light but I was brought to an Italian kitchen
but I was brought to an Italian kitchen
but I was brought to an Italian kitchen with a mama and her son and I went from
with a mama and her son and I went from
with a mama and her son and I went from being Katherine 2k13 my name is
being Katherine 2k13 my name is
being Katherine 2k13 my name is Katherine with that hard
Katherine with that hard
Katherine with that hard English th-that isn’t easy to pronounce
English th-that isn’t easy to pronounce
English th-that isn’t easy to pronounce I grew up in Washington DC my background
I grew up in Washington DC my background
I grew up in Washington DC my background was full of internships achievement a
was full of internships achievement a
was full of internships achievement a prestigious university my CV was
prestigious university my CV was
prestigious university my CV was impressive I was also very unhappy I was
impressive I was also very unhappy I was
impressive I was also very unhappy I was extremely insecure and I struggled with
extremely insecure and I struggled with
extremely insecure and I struggled with an eating disorder basically I didn’t
an eating disorder basically I didn’t
an eating disorder basically I didn’t know how to live in my own body
know how to live in my own body
know how to live in my own body I would binge on food and then I’d eat
I would binge on food and then I’d eat
I would binge on food and then I’d eat nothing for days I just tried so hard to
nothing for days I just tried so hard to
nothing for days I just tried so hard to manage my appetites to manage and
manage my appetites to manage and
manage my appetites to manage and control them and then when it didn’t
control them and then when it didn’t
control them and then when it didn’t work I’d punish myself gate 13 Salvatore
work I’d punish myself gate 13 Salvatore
work I’d punish myself gate 13 Salvatore his mother told me esata she was holding
his mother told me esata she was holding
his mother told me esata she was holding out this wooden spoon with the most
out this wooden spoon with the most
out this wooden spoon with the most divine smelling ragout who was catering
divine smelling ragout who was catering
divine smelling ragout who was catering I thought and wasn’t it odd that the
I thought and wasn’t it odd that the
I thought and wasn’t it odd that the mother of a 23 year old guy that I just
mother of a 23 year old guy that I just
mother of a 23 year old guy that I just met was spoon feeding me
well Catherine’s judgmental brain saw so
well Catherine’s judgmental brain saw so many things that were wrong with this
many things that were wrong with this
many things that were wrong with this picture
picture
picture but cat didn’t taste it and she didn’t
but cat didn’t taste it and she didn’t
but cat didn’t taste it and she didn’t just taste this phenomenal ragu she
just taste this phenomenal ragu she
just taste this phenomenal ragu she tasted love and acceptance
tasted love and acceptance
tasted love and acceptance little by little I learned the Italian
little by little I learned the Italian
little by little I learned the Italian sense of Karen ollie living with ease
sense of Karen ollie living with ease
sense of Karen ollie living with ease and confidence in your own skin
and confidence in your own skin
and confidence in your own skin appetites in Italy weren’t managed or
appetites in Italy weren’t managed or
appetites in Italy weren’t managed or controlled they were satisfied and and
controlled they were satisfied and and
controlled they were satisfied and and even celebrated hunger was a sign of
even celebrated hunger was a sign of
even celebrated hunger was a sign of health thank goodness you’re hungry
health thank goodness you’re hungry
health thank goodness you’re hungry Catering saw what his mother said to me
Catering saw what his mother said to me
Catering saw what his mother said to me it’s the sign that you’re alive my
it’s the sign that you’re alive my
it’s the sign that you’re alive my background in America hadn’t taught me
background in America hadn’t taught me
background in America hadn’t taught me to listen to my body but to trust what I
to listen to my body but to trust what I
to listen to my body but to trust what I read in books or on the internet what
read in books or on the internet what
read in books or on the internet what was written down in words that is what
was written down in words that is what
was written down in words that is what was true that is what had authority but
was true that is what had authority but
was true that is what had authority but the more time I spent in an Italian
the more time I spent in an Italian
the more time I spent in an Italian kitchen and as I started to learn to
kitchen and as I started to learn to
kitchen and as I started to learn to cook with some authorities mother I let
cook with some authorities mother I let
cook with some authorities mother I let go of quantities and rational
go of quantities and rational
go of quantities and rational evaluations she taught me to put the
evaluations she taught me to put the
evaluations she taught me to put the cookbooks aside what do your hands feel
cookbooks aside what do your hands feel
cookbooks aside what do your hands feel Catherine she asked me trust your hands
Catherine she asked me trust your hands
Catherine she asked me trust your hands okay all well and good but what about
okay all well and good but what about
okay all well and good but what about this 23 year old guy who was still
this 23 year old guy who was still
this 23 year old guy who was still living at home and who was often spoon
living at home and who was often spoon
living at home and who was often spoon fed himself by his mother
fed himself by his mother
fed himself by his mother well Katherine sauce salvadora as a
well Katherine sauce salvadora as a
well Katherine sauce salvadora as a pathetic mama’s boy who really should be
pathetic mama’s boy who really should be
pathetic mama’s boy who really should be worrying about his internships for
worrying about his internships for
worrying about his internships for future employments but Katherine saw an
future employments but Katherine saw an
future employments but Katherine saw an integral member of a tribe the
integral member of a tribe the
integral member of a tribe the interconnectedness of Italian families
interconnectedness of Italian families
interconnectedness of Italian families was so different from the American
was so different from the American
was so different from the American families that I was used to but there
families that I was used to but there
families that I was used to but there was nothing pathologically dependent
was nothing pathologically dependent
was nothing pathologically dependent about it there was community and support
about it there was community and support
about it there was community and support and love a change in identity means a
and love a change in identity means a
and love a change in identity means a change in perception I saw the world
change in perception I saw the world
change in perception I saw the world like this and then I saw it like this
like this and then I saw it like this
like this and then I saw it like this it’s one step it’s not a marathon it’s
it’s one step it’s not a marathon it’s
it’s one step it’s not a marathon it’s not thousands of kilometres it’s one
not thousands of kilometres it’s one
not thousands of kilometres it’s one step and it can change your life but
step and it can change your life but
step and it can change your life but there’s a hitch you have to leave what’s
there’s a hitch you have to leave what’s
there’s a hitch you have to leave what’s comfortable it is so much easier to
comfortable it is so much easier to
comfortable it is so much easier to stick with what you know to stick with
stick with what you know to stick with
stick with what you know to stick with the way that you’ve always seen things
the way that you’ve always seen things
the way that you’ve always seen things and you’ve always done things but
and you’ve always done things but
and you’ve always done things but there’s a problem you don’t just stick
there’s a problem you don’t just stick
there’s a problem you don’t just stick with the ease of what you’re used to
with the ease of what you’re used to
with the ease of what you’re used to you also stick with your chains what do
you also stick with your chains what do
you also stick with your chains what do I mean by chains the things that hold
I mean by chains the things that hold
I mean by chains the things that hold you back an old identity can keep you
you back an old identity can keep you
you back an old identity can keep you blocked
blocked
blocked what are your chains mine were
what are your chains mine were
what are your chains mine were expectations other people’s my parents
expectations other people’s my parents
expectations other people’s my parents my cultures often their fears what are
my cultures often their fears what are
my cultures often their fears what are other people gonna think of me sometimes
other people gonna think of me sometimes
other people gonna think of me sometimes it’s shame from the past I did this or
it’s shame from the past I did this or
it’s shame from the past I did this or this happened to me and so therefore
this happened to me and so therefore
this happened to me and so therefore that is Who I am no it’s not that is an
that is Who I am no it’s not that is an
that is Who I am no it’s not that is an old identity
old identity
old identity keeping you chained in you need a shift
keeping you chained in you need a shift
keeping you chained in you need a shift in perspective and this doesn’t
in perspective and this doesn’t
in perspective and this doesn’t necessarily mean a change in language or
necessarily mean a change in language or
necessarily mean a change in language or culture or moving to the other side of
culture or moving to the other side of
culture or moving to the other side of the world it can mean a change in your
the world it can mean a change in your
the world it can mean a change in your professional identity let me explain in
professional identity let me explain in
professional identity let me explain in the United States I don’t know if it’s
the United States I don’t know if it’s
the United States I don’t know if it’s the same in Germany but when you first
the same in Germany but when you first
the same in Germany but when you first meet someone the first question they ask
meet someone the first question they ask
meet someone the first question they ask is what do you do the answer is I’m an
is what do you do the answer is I’m an
is what do you do the answer is I’m an architect I’m an engineer for me the
architect I’m an engineer for me the
architect I’m an engineer for me the answer was I’m an actress but then I
answer was I’m an actress but then I
answer was I’m an actress but then I wrote a book and people said to me oh so
wrote a book and people said to me oh so
wrote a book and people said to me oh so you’re a writer and I answered oh no no
you’re a writer and I answered oh no no
you’re a writer and I answered oh no no no no no I’m an actress I’m an actress
no no no I’m an actress I’m an actress
no no no I’m an actress I’m an actress but didn’t you write that book oh well
but didn’t you write that book oh well
but didn’t you write that book oh well yes I told them yes III did but I’m I’m
yes I told them yes III did but I’m I’m
yes I told them yes III did but I’m I’m an actress who writes sometimes writes
an actress who writes sometimes writes
an actress who writes sometimes writes things writes things down on paper oh
things writes things down on paper oh
things writes things down on paper oh okay
okay
okay it was only so much later that I
it was only so much later that I
it was only so much later that I realized how difficult it was for me to
realized how difficult it was for me to
realized how difficult it was for me to take on the identity I am a writer to
take on the identity I am a writer to
take on the identity I am a writer to even say it I had to practice it in a
even say it I had to practice it in a
even say it I had to practice it in a mirror because I felt like a fraud
mirror because I felt like a fraud
mirror because I felt like a fraud started out with I’m a writer I’m a
started out with I’m a writer I’m a
started out with I’m a writer I’m a writer writer I’m ready I’m a writer
writer writer I’m ready I’m a writer
writer writer I’m ready I’m a writer writer I’m a writer I’m a writer I am a
writer I’m a writer I’m a writer I am a
writer I’m a writer I’m a writer I am a writer what about you how do you think
writer what about you how do you think
writer what about you how do you think of yourself do you think of yourself for
of yourself do you think of yourself for
of yourself do you think of yourself for example I am a sociologist I am German
example I am a sociologist I am German
example I am a sociologist I am German okay that’s true but that is one part of
okay that’s true but that is one part of
okay that’s true but that is one part of you one perspective one identity you’re
you one perspective one identity you’re
you one perspective one identity you’re so much more don’t be afraid to take on
so much more don’t be afraid to take on
so much more don’t be afraid to take on another identity for me it was accepting
another identity for me it was accepting
another identity for me it was accepting that I was an actress and a writer that
that I was an actress and a writer that
that I was an actress and a writer that I am Catherine and k13 being locked into
I am Catherine and k13 being locked into
I am Catherine and k13 being locked into one identity keeps you from realizing
one identity keeps you from realizing
one identity keeps you from realizing your full potential k13 us
your full potential k13 us
your full potential k13 us such Kathryn tastes my message for you
such Kathryn tastes my message for you
such Kathryn tastes my message for you today is to take up your new name and
today is to take up your new name and
today is to take up your new name and taste find a new perspective leave your
taste find a new perspective leave your
taste find a new perspective leave your chains whatever they are and what you’ll
chains whatever they are and what you’ll
chains whatever they are and what you’ll find is that you realize your potential
find is that you realize your potential
find is that you realize your potential and more than that you’ll learn to trust
and more than that you’ll learn to trust
and more than that you’ll learn to trust yourself and not just the things that
yourself and not just the things that
yourself and not just the things that you read in books or on Wikipedia but
you read in books or on Wikipedia but
you read in books or on Wikipedia but what your senses tell you believe it or
what your senses tell you believe it or
what your senses tell you believe it or not you’ll learn to trust your hands
not you’ll learn to trust your hands
not you’ll learn to trust your hands back
back
back [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
”
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