Standing Out As An Introvert In A World Of Extroverts | Asritha Swaminadhan | TEDxYouth@BOSS

hi everyone my name is Rita and I’m

hi everyone my name is Rita and I’m going to start off my talk by giving all

going to start off my talk by giving all

going to start off my talk by giving all of you a little personality test now I

of you a little personality test now I

of you a little personality test now I want you to imagine they are at a party

want you to imagine they are at a party

want you to imagine they are at a party with your friends chatting and

with your friends chatting and

with your friends chatting and interacting with other people now at

interacting with other people now at

interacting with other people now at this party are either one to lead the

this party are either one to lead the

this party are either one to lead the group conversation making everyone laugh

group conversation making everyone laugh

group conversation making everyone laugh with your funny and humorous nature when

with your funny and humorous nature when

with your funny and humorous nature when the music’s playing your favorite song

the music’s playing your favorite song

the music’s playing your favorite song at full volume are either one – get up

at full volume are either one – get up

at full volume are either one – get up start dancing creating attention as

start dancing creating attention as

start dancing creating attention as everyone crowds around to watch your

everyone crowds around to watch your

everyone crowds around to watch your moves if this is highly relatable to

moves if this is highly relatable to

moves if this is highly relatable to your behavior in that you get a lot of

your behavior in that you get a lot of

your behavior in that you get a lot of your energy from being surrounded by

your energy from being surrounded by

your energy from being surrounded by other people then you’re an extrovert on

other people then you’re an extrovert on

other people then you’re an extrovert on the other hand maybe you’re enjoying

the other hand maybe you’re enjoying

the other hand maybe you’re enjoying this party at first but if you’re

this party at first but if you’re

this party at first but if you’re anything like me one hour later you’re

anything like me one hour later you’re

anything like me one hour later you’re probably sitting in a quiet area

probably sitting in a quiet area

probably sitting in a quiet area pertaining to text someone when secretly

pertaining to text someone when secretly

pertaining to text someone when secretly you’re praying to God that this will end

you’re praying to God that this will end

you’re praying to God that this will end so I can go home read a book and better

so I can go home read a book and better

so I can go home read a book and better watch Netflix and if this is highly

watch Netflix and if this is highly

watch Netflix and if this is highly relatable to your behavior in that

relatable to your behavior in that

relatable to your behavior in that continually having to build up

continually having to build up

continually having to build up conversation with others is tiring for

conversation with others is tiring for

conversation with others is tiring for you then I can relate because like me

you then I can relate because like me

you then I can relate because like me you’re an introvert so despite these

you’re an introvert so despite these

you’re an introvert so despite these contrasting differences displayed

contrasting differences displayed

contrasting differences displayed between introverts and extroverts it’s

between introverts and extroverts it’s

between introverts and extroverts it’s not to say that a person can be both

not to say that a person can be both

not to say that a person can be both although I am primarily primarily an

although I am primarily primarily an

although I am primarily primarily an introvert I do have some extraversion in

introvert I do have some extraversion in

introvert I do have some extraversion in me I enjoy being compass around a small

me I enjoy being compass around a small

me I enjoy being compass around a small group of individuals nevertheless I love

group of individuals nevertheless I love

group of individuals nevertheless I love spending time to myself as it obviously

spending time to myself as it obviously

spending time to myself as it obviously function and think better loud parted

function and think better loud parted

function and think better loud parted areas is not my go-to place and for me

areas is not my go-to place and for me

areas is not my go-to place and for me giving a talk in front of 500 people is

giving a talk in front of 500 people is

giving a talk in front of 500 people is much less stressful than having to

much less stressful than having to

much less stressful than having to mingle with all those people afterwards

mingle with all those people afterwards

mingle with all those people afterwards so despite these so although I’m proud

so despite these so although I’m proud

so despite these so although I’m proud with Who I am right now for an extensive

with Who I am right now for an extensive

with Who I am right now for an extensive part of my life that wasn’t always the

part of my life that wasn’t always the

part of my life that wasn’t always the case my years of elementary school were

case my years of elementary school were

case my years of elementary school were filled with shame and self-hatred

filled with shame and self-hatred

filled with shame and self-hatred because I deeply desire the social

because I deeply desire the social

because I deeply desire the social attention that most extroverts get now

attention that most extroverts get now

attention that most extroverts get now these feelings all started eight years

these feelings all started eight years

these feelings all started eight years ago when my family made the decision of

ago when my family made the decision of

ago when my family made the decision of moving from Mississauga to Markham in

moving from Mississauga to Markham in

moving from Mississauga to Markham in the summer of 2009 I was starting my

the summer of 2009 I was starting my

the summer of 2009 I was starting my first day of elementary school and my

first day of elementary school and my

first day of elementary school and my new first day of fourth grade on my new

new first day of fourth grade on my new

new first day of fourth grade on my new elementary school

elementary school

elementary school and I was very nervous to make new

and I was very nervous to make new

and I was very nervous to make new friends I was quiet and kept to myself a

friends I was quiet and kept to myself a

friends I was quiet and kept to myself a lot during my first day of school which

lot during my first day of school which

lot during my first day of school which is normal for every new student I mean

is normal for every new student I mean

is normal for every new student I mean who doesn’t right

who doesn’t right

who doesn’t right however this introverted behavior of

however this introverted behavior of

however this introverted behavior of mine didn’t change much throughout the

mine didn’t change much throughout the

mine didn’t change much throughout the years and it was more displayed in

years and it was more displayed in

years and it was more displayed in school situations I refused to raise my

school situations I refused to raise my

school situations I refused to raise my hand up in class and whenever given the

hand up in class and whenever given the

hand up in class and whenever given the opportunity I’d always choose to work

opportunity I’d always choose to work

opportunity I’d always choose to work alone on assignments mostly because I

alone on assignments mostly because I

alone on assignments mostly because I think better alone so because of this I

think better alone so because of this I

think better alone so because of this I was constantly told by others to come

was constantly told by others to come

was constantly told by others to come out of my quiet shell at every

out of my quiet shell at every

out of my quiet shell at every parent-teacher interview my parents

parent-teacher interview my parents

parent-teacher interview my parents would hear the same statement your

would hear the same statement your

would hear the same statement your daughter is very smart but she needs to

daughter is very smart but she needs to

daughter is very smart but she needs to learn to talk more so my struggle in

learn to talk more so my struggle in

learn to talk more so my struggle in elementary school was to stand out in a

elementary school was to stand out in a

elementary school was to stand out in a community where everyone seemed to be

community where everyone seemed to be

community where everyone seemed to be extroverts the friends that I made were

extroverts the friends that I made were

extroverts the friends that I made were so much more social and outgoing than I

so much more social and outgoing than I

so much more social and outgoing than I was and I grew up in a pretty

was and I grew up in a pretty

was and I grew up in a pretty extroverted family I mean my mom parents

extroverted family I mean my mom parents

extroverted family I mean my mom parents my parents sister cousins were all

my parents sister cousins were all

my parents sister cousins were all talkative and likable people and I hated

talkative and likable people and I hated

talkative and likable people and I hated it when people compared my level of

it when people compared my level of

it when people compared my level of socialization to my sister

socialization to my sister

socialization to my sister like many I’d hear the same statement as

like many I’d hear the same statement as

like many I’d hear the same statement as read that your sister is so funny and

read that your sister is so funny and

read that your sister is so funny and talkative why are you so quiet

talkative why are you so quiet

talkative why are you so quiet so through all these experiences I’m

so through all these experiences I’m

so through all these experiences I’m sure you can understand that I was

sure you can understand that I was

sure you can understand that I was considered a worrisome case in the eyes

considered a worrisome case in the eyes

considered a worrisome case in the eyes of all these people however these people

of all these people however these people

of all these people however these people are blinded by the fact that there are a

are blinded by the fact that there are a

are blinded by the fact that there are a lot of benefits to being an introvert

lot of benefits to being an introvert

lot of benefits to being an introvert like me facts have stated that

like me facts have stated that

like me facts have stated that introverts have a great imagination

introverts have a great imagination

introverts have a great imagination we’re very creative we’re very observant

we’re very creative we’re very observant

we’re very creative we’re very observant introverts think before they act and

introverts think before they act and

introverts think before they act and we’re great listeners so through all

we’re great listeners so through all

we’re great listeners so through all these amazing benefits why has society

these amazing benefits why has society

these amazing benefits why has society put so much importance and value on

put so much importance and value on

put so much importance and value on extroverts and being extroverted now I

extroverts and being extroverted now I

extroverts and being extroverted now I must say at this point of my talk that

must say at this point of my talk that

must say at this point of my talk that I’m not suggesting we bring down the

I’m not suggesting we bring down the

I’m not suggesting we bring down the extroverts or anything because I love

extroverts or anything because I love

extroverts or anything because I love social and outgoing people nevertheless

social and outgoing people nevertheless

social and outgoing people nevertheless I find that I’m constantly asking myself

I find that I’m constantly asking myself

I find that I’m constantly asking myself why must I change my personality type in

why must I change my personality type in

why must I change my personality type in order to fit society’s norm

order to fit society’s norm

order to fit society’s norm unfortunately I believe the core problem

unfortunately I believe the core problem

unfortunately I believe the core problem starts with our schools as they are only

starts with our schools as they are only

starts with our schools as they are only designed for extroverts teachers feel as

designed for extroverts teachers feel as

designed for extroverts teachers feel as though as though that ideal student is

though as though that ideal student is

though as though that ideal student is one that can raise their hand up in

one that can raise their hand up in

one that can raise their hand up in class direct others what to do and is

class direct others what to do and is

class direct others what to do and is pretty much talkative when you enter a

pretty much talkative when you enter a

pretty much talkative when you enter a typical classroom

typical classroom

typical classroom you’ll see pods of desks together in

you’ll see pods of desks together in

you’ll see pods of desks together in groups of four to five so that peers are

groups of four to five so that peers are

groups of four to five so that peers are forced to chat and interact with one

forced to chat and interact with one

forced to chat and interact with one another which is amazing to a certain

another which is amazing to a certain

another which is amazing to a certain extent but for introverts who just want

extent but for introverts who just want

extent but for introverts who just want some peace and quiet sometimes not so

some peace and quiet sometimes not so

some peace and quiet sometimes not so much even the valedictorian awards and

much even the valedictorian awards and

much even the valedictorian awards and position of class president are given

position of class president are given

position of class president are given out to those who are more social

out to those who are more social

out to those who are more social outgoing and let’s face it pretty much

outgoing and let’s face it pretty much

outgoing and let’s face it pretty much popular so this brings me to the

popular so this brings me to the

popular so this brings me to the question you’ve all been waiting for

question you’ve all been waiting for

question you’ve all been waiting for what now I believe that teachers should

what now I believe that teachers should

what now I believe that teachers should stop with the pressure for group work

stop with the pressure for group work

stop with the pressure for group work and collaboration because as amazing as

and collaboration because as amazing as

and collaboration because as amazing as it is to share opinions and ideas with

it is to share opinions and ideas with

it is to share opinions and ideas with others

others

others like the great Susan Cain once said

like the great Susan Cain once said

like the great Susan Cain once said solitude matters and for some it’s like

solitude matters and for some it’s like

solitude matters and for some it’s like the air we breathe so the more freedom

the air we breathe so the more freedom

the air we breathe so the more freedom we give introverts to be by themselves

we give introverts to be by themselves

we give introverts to be by themselves and work by themselves the more creative

and work by themselves the more creative

and work by themselves the more creative ideas and problems they’ll be able to

ideas and problems they’ll be able to

ideas and problems they’ll be able to solve whether it’s with school or

solve whether it’s with school or

solve whether it’s with school or something even greater so poorly this

something even greater so poorly this

something even greater so poorly this stage there’s one more message I want to

stage there’s one more message I want to

stage there’s one more message I want to send across and that’s for all of you to

send across and that’s for all of you to

send across and that’s for all of you to understand and appreciate your own

understand and appreciate your own

understand and appreciate your own personality traits don’t try to change

personality traits don’t try to change

personality traits don’t try to change yourself in order to fulfill everyone

yourself in order to fulfill everyone

yourself in order to fulfill everyone else does everyone else’s desires and by

else does everyone else’s desires and by

else does everyone else’s desires and by doing that we can open and create a

doing that we can open and create a

doing that we can open and create a world that accepts all types of birds

world that accepts all types of birds

world that accepts all types of birds thank you very much

thank you very much

thank you very much [Applause]