Press "Enter" to skip to content

Our Internal Struggles | Karen Li | TEDxYouth@BOSS


[Music]

[Music] there’s a person that I like to listen

there’s a person that I like to listen

there’s a person that I like to listen and sometimes talk to a lot they’ve

and sometimes talk to a lot they’ve

and sometimes talk to a lot they’ve always been there like a second point of

always been there like a second point of

always been there like a second point of view on everything I do they like making

view on everything I do they like making

view on everything I do they like making me change my mind making me really think

me change my mind making me really think

me change my mind making me really think making me feel well insane at times does

making me feel well insane at times does

making me feel well insane at times does anyone hear and know someone like that

anyone hear and know someone like that

anyone hear and know someone like that this person is with me everywhere

this person is with me everywhere

this person is with me everywhere they’re with me in school at home and

they’re with me in school at home and

they’re with me in school at home and the calf and bed in the bathroom there

the calf and bed in the bathroom there

the calf and bed in the bathroom there even with me right now and as I said

even with me right now and as I said

even with me right now and as I said they are really nice to talk back to

they are really nice to talk back to

they are really nice to talk back to sometimes but the problem is they are

sometimes but the problem is they are

sometimes but the problem is they are with me all the time and sometimes they

with me all the time and sometimes they

with me all the time and sometimes they speak to me they would say things that

speak to me they would say things that

speak to me they would say things that really hurt me even poison my mind they

really hurt me even poison my mind they

really hurt me even poison my mind they would say things like oh my gosh Karen

would say things like oh my gosh Karen

would say things like oh my gosh Karen you’re so fat why are you so desperate

you’re so fat why are you so desperate

you’re so fat why are you so desperate you’re so attention-seeking you know the

you’re so attention-seeking you know the

you’re so attention-seeking you know the world can live without you right how

world can live without you right how

world can live without you right how many of you have ever heard these things

many of you have ever heard these things

many of you have ever heard these things said to you that person that I was just

said to you that person that I was just

said to you that person that I was just talking about that says all these things

talking about that says all these things

talking about that says all these things that person is in your head this person

that person is in your head this person

that person is in your head this person is in all of our heads they are your

is in all of our heads they are your

is in all of our heads they are your best friend and your only enemy and

best friend and your only enemy and

best friend and your only enemy and depending on you they have many

depending on you they have many

depending on you they have many nicknames their names can be

nicknames their names can be

nicknames their names can be insecurities depression anxiety pain

insecurities depression anxiety pain

insecurities depression anxiety pain struggles how many of you have ever

struggles how many of you have ever

struggles how many of you have ever struggled not externally but internally

struggled not externally but internally

struggled not externally but internally if so I can relate and today I’m going

if so I can relate and today I’m going

if so I can relate and today I’m going to stand here with you to help you

to stand here with you to help you

to stand here with you to help you figure out what to do when the person in

figure out what to do when the person in

figure out what to do when the person in their head is making them struggle now

their head is making them struggle now

their head is making them struggle now my internal struggles have always had a

my internal struggles have always had a

my internal struggles have always had a bit of a toll on me my nicknames for

bit of a toll on me my nicknames for

bit of a toll on me my nicknames for them our insecurities anxiety and

them our insecurities anxiety and

them our insecurities anxiety and depression now everyone has insecurities

depression now everyone has insecurities

depression now everyone has insecurities it’s the one thing that kind of plagues

it’s the one thing that kind of plagues

it’s the one thing that kind of plagues us all my insecurities caused my anxiety

us all my insecurities caused my anxiety

us all my insecurities caused my anxiety they made me think a lot about people

they made me think a lot about people

they made me think a lot about people what do they think of me what if they

what do they think of me what if they

what do they think of me what if they think I’m just a sec attention-seeking

think I’m just a sec attention-seeking

think I’m just a sec attention-seeking what if they hate me why don’t they

what if they hate me why don’t they

what if they hate me why don’t they pretend to like me what if i’m annoying

pretend to like me what if i’m annoying

pretend to like me what if i’m annoying what if this what

what if this what

what if this what but you see my insecurities and my

but you see my insecurities and my

but you see my insecurities and my anxiety caused me think so much it

anxiety caused me think so much it

anxiety caused me think so much it becomes so cautious that I ended up

becomes so cautious that I ended up

becomes so cautious that I ended up losing faith in myself I just didn’t

losing faith in myself I just didn’t

losing faith in myself I just didn’t love myself anymore grade 7 was when my

love myself anymore grade 7 was when my

love myself anymore grade 7 was when my anxiety really started taking a toll on

anxiety really started taking a toll on

anxiety really started taking a toll on me the person in my head started

me the person in my head started

me the person in my head started tweaking things and now because of these

tweaking things and now because of these

tweaking things and now because of these abnormal situations friends of mine

abnormal situations friends of mine

abnormal situations friends of mine started to avoid me because in their

started to avoid me because in their

started to avoid me because in their mind it was a natural to be feeling this

mind it was a natural to be feeling this

mind it was a natural to be feeling this way now it really hurt me to know that

way now it really hurt me to know that

way now it really hurt me to know that people would like leave me my times of

people would like leave me my times of

people would like leave me my times of need so I started self-harming because

need so I started self-harming because

need so I started self-harming because in my mind it helps me cope now of

in my mind it helps me cope now of

in my mind it helps me cope now of course doing self harming it caused me

course doing self harming it caused me

course doing self harming it caused me to lose even more friends and even my

to lose even more friends and even my

to lose even more friends and even my reputation which then sparked my

reputation which then sparked my

reputation which then sparked my depression so to deal with all of these

depression so to deal with all of these

depression so to deal with all of these disappointments I decide to shut myself

disappointments I decide to shut myself

disappointments I decide to shut myself out I shut myself down I decide to run

out I shut myself down I decide to run

out I shut myself down I decide to run away and just leave everything behind I

away and just leave everything behind I

away and just leave everything behind I decided to move schools and leave those

decided to move schools and leave those

decided to move schools and leave those people who hurt me even more and I

people who hurt me even more and I

people who hurt me even more and I really thought it would be all over

really thought it would be all over

really thought it would be all over after I moved but then great n rolled

after I moved but then great n rolled

after I moved but then great n rolled around great n was a bit of a crazy year

around great n was a bit of a crazy year

around great n was a bit of a crazy year for me I had something called a relapse

for me I had something called a relapse

for me I had something called a relapse the pain the sadness you know the secret

the pain the sadness you know the secret

the pain the sadness you know the secret thoughts of like giving up the many

thoughts of like giving up the many

thoughts of like giving up the many distrusting feelings like an avalanche

distrusting feelings like an avalanche

distrusting feelings like an avalanche it crushed me and it was really

it crushed me and it was really

it crushed me and it was really upsetting for me to be having this

upsetting for me to be having this

upsetting for me to be having this relapse because I moved for a better

relapse because I moved for a better

relapse because I moved for a better life I moved and finally felt a sense of

life I moved and finally felt a sense of

life I moved and finally felt a sense of happiness I moved and finally had

happiness I moved and finally had

happiness I moved and finally had friends I felt wanted I ran away from

friends I felt wanted I ran away from

friends I felt wanted I ran away from the past to make myself feel better and

the past to make myself feel better and

the past to make myself feel better and now the past had caught up to me you see

now the past had caught up to me you see

now the past had caught up to me you see when I was hit with a situation like

when I was hit with a situation like

when I was hit with a situation like this I thought there was only one

this I thought there was only one

this I thought there was only one solution and that was to give up let the

solution and that was to give up let the

solution and that was to give up let the darkness kind of paint over me I wanted

darkness kind of paint over me I wanted

darkness kind of paint over me I wanted to die fortunately my friends

to die fortunately my friends

to die fortunately my friends saw the darkness that I painted over me

saw the darkness that I painted over me

saw the darkness that I painted over me they saw that I had change so they

they saw that I had change so they

they saw that I had change so they opened up their arms to me they decided

opened up their arms to me they decided

opened up their arms to me they decided to help me heal they helped me go to

to help me heal they helped me go to

to help me heal they helped me go to guidance they helped me open up to my

guidance they helped me open up to my

guidance they helped me open up to my teacher I am now in grade 11 and a month

teacher I am now in grade 11 and a month

teacher I am now in grade 11 and a month ago today I waited at the bus stop for

ago today I waited at the bus stop for

ago today I waited at the bus stop for for the bus to take me down to the

for the bus to take me down to the

for the bus to take me down to the psychiatrist to see if I was to be able

psychiatrist to see if I was to be able

psychiatrist to see if I was to be able to officially diagnose myself or just to

to officially diagnose myself or just to

to officially diagnose myself or just to be dismissed it was to me a very big

be dismissed it was to me a very big

be dismissed it was to me a very big step in my journey if everything felt so

step in my journey if everything felt so

step in my journey if everything felt so real it was amazing supposed to be a

real it was amazing supposed to be a

real it was amazing supposed to be a good thing right well for once in my

good thing right well for once in my

good thing right well for once in my life hours away from my appointment I

life hours away from my appointment I

life hours away from my appointment I have never felt so insecure about my

have never felt so insecure about my

have never felt so insecure about my mental health so ashamed to I’ve waited

mental health so ashamed to I’ve waited

mental health so ashamed to I’ve waited for so many years to finally start

for so many years to finally start

for so many years to finally start healing the appointment wasn’t terrible

healing the appointment wasn’t terrible

healing the appointment wasn’t terrible I managed to meet a lot of nice people I

I managed to meet a lot of nice people I

I managed to meet a lot of nice people I am learning better coping strategies I’m

am learning better coping strategies I’m

am learning better coping strategies I’m taking medicine and I’m even going to a

taking medicine and I’m even going to a

taking medicine and I’m even going to a therapist the thing is I look back on my

therapist the thing is I look back on my

therapist the thing is I look back on my story a lot because there’s a mistake

story a lot because there’s a mistake

story a lot because there’s a mistake that I made and it really unsettles me

that I made and it really unsettles me

that I made and it really unsettles me that mistake was not healing my anxiety

that mistake was not healing my anxiety

that mistake was not healing my anxiety Milan securities earlier for not fixing

Milan securities earlier for not fixing

Milan securities earlier for not fixing the internal struggles that obviously

the internal struggles that obviously

the internal struggles that obviously affected me physically think about it I

affected me physically think about it I

affected me physically think about it I could have died so for me to not fix

could have died so for me to not fix

could have died so for me to not fix myself at that time was me risking my

myself at that time was me risking my

myself at that time was me risking my life I risked my life listening to those

life I risked my life listening to those

life I risked my life listening to those who were not me who thought that my

who were not me who thought that my

who were not me who thought that my internal struggles shouldn’t be

internal struggles shouldn’t be

internal struggles shouldn’t be affecting the way people physically live

affecting the way people physically live

affecting the way people physically live so I stand here today telling you my

so I stand here today telling you my

so I stand here today telling you my internal struggles and I am not the only

internal struggles and I am not the only

internal struggles and I am not the only one because I guarantee you that in this

one because I guarantee you that in this

one because I guarantee you that in this crowd there’s someone just like me who

crowd there’s someone just like me who

crowd there’s someone just like me who is internally hurting and trying to get

is internally hurting and trying to get

is internally hurting and trying to get hurt so people are going to be asking me

hurt so people are going to be asking me

hurt so people are going to be asking me what do you want me to do what now well

what do you want me to do what now well

what do you want me to do what now well I want you

I want you

I want you to start opening up I want everyone to

to start opening up I want everyone to

to start opening up I want everyone to become a community and to start sharing

become a community and to start sharing

become a community and to start sharing their internal struggles to no longer

their internal struggles to no longer

their internal struggles to no longer kind of hide in silence I want people to

kind of hide in silence I want people to

kind of hide in silence I want people to open up their pain to other people I

open up their pain to other people I

open up their pain to other people I want people to research coping

want people to research coping

want people to research coping strategies like working out which is

strategies like working out which is

strategies like working out which is scientifically proven to help people

scientifically proven to help people

scientifically proven to help people with anxiety and to how people feel

with anxiety and to how people feel

with anxiety and to how people feel better about themselves externally and

better about themselves externally and

better about themselves externally and internally I want people to lend a hand

internally I want people to lend a hand

internally I want people to lend a hand if someone comes up to you to talk to

if someone comes up to you to talk to

if someone comes up to you to talk to them if someone comes up to you and

them if someone comes up to you and

them if someone comes up to you and talks to you about their internal

talks to you about their internal

talks to you about their internal struggles don’t brush them off cheer

struggles don’t brush them off cheer

struggles don’t brush them off cheer them on from the sidelines tell them

them on from the sidelines tell them

them on from the sidelines tell them they are not alone relate to them help

they are not alone relate to them help

they are not alone relate to them help them realize people that can help them

them realize people that can help them

them realize people that can help them as well tell them to trust their own gut

as well tell them to trust their own gut

as well tell them to trust their own gut because you are you and only you know

because you are you and only you know

because you are you and only you know how you’re feeling overall I want people

how you’re feeling overall I want people

how you’re feeling overall I want people to listen because sometimes that’s all

to listen because sometimes that’s all

to listen because sometimes that’s all someone needs because sometimes

someone needs because sometimes

someone needs because sometimes listening can do more than what actions

listening can do more than what actions

listening can do more than what actions can do yes what I’m saying sounds easier

can do yes what I’m saying sounds easier

can do yes what I’m saying sounds easier said than done but the small steps that

said than done but the small steps that

said than done but the small steps that you take in life can make a great

you take in life can make a great

you take in life can make a great difference in the world I’ve taken my

difference in the world I’ve taken my

difference in the world I’ve taken my step by sharing you my story and my

step by sharing you my story and my

step by sharing you my story and my thoughts it is now your turn thank you

thoughts it is now your turn thank you

thoughts it is now your turn thank you [Applause]

”

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *