so my talk today is not about Donald Trump well it’s a little bit about
Trump well it’s a little bit about
Trump well it’s a little bit about Donald trouble get to that really what I
Donald trouble get to that really what I
Donald trouble get to that really what I want to talk about today is seeking out
want to talk about today is seeking out
want to talk about today is seeking out discomfort conquering your fears
discomfort conquering your fears
discomfort conquering your fears linguini most importantly what I want to
linguini most importantly what I want to
linguini most importantly what I want to talk about is how we can make real
talk about is how we can make real
talk about is how we can make real meaningful connections with each other
meaningful connections with each other
meaningful connections with each other and how we can start seeing each other
and how we can start seeing each other
and how we can start seeing each other as human beings and and how we crave
as human beings and and how we crave
as human beings and and how we crave human contact with each other so right
human contact with each other so right
human contact with each other so right after the election I was too busy to
after the election I was too busy to
after the election I was too busy to really like be depressed and mopey about
really like be depressed and mopey about
really like be depressed and mopey about it like all of my friends I was working
it like all of my friends I was working
it like all of my friends I was working on a creative placemaking project that
on a creative placemaking project that
on a creative placemaking project that was called sea change and during the
was called sea change and during the
was called sea change and during the week after the election I had to produce
week after the election I had to produce
week after the election I had to produce and install this giant art installation
and install this giant art installation
and install this giant art installation and we were working for had been working
and we were working for had been working
and we were working for had been working on it for months and we were installing
on it for months and we were installing
on it for months and we were installing it in this neighborhood that was
it in this neighborhood that was
it in this neighborhood that was undergoing a lot of change there was a
undergoing a lot of change there was a
undergoing a lot of change there was a new development that was going up that
new development that was going up that
new development that was going up that was threatening to displace hundreds of
was threatening to displace hundreds of
was threatening to displace hundreds of low-income families lots of so-called
low-income families lots of so-called
low-income families lots of so-called gentrify are moving into the
gentrify are moving into the
gentrify are moving into the neighborhood and there were complaints
neighborhood and there were complaints
neighborhood and there were complaints that they weren’t saying hello to
that they weren’t saying hello to
that they weren’t saying hello to anybody on the street they weren’t
anybody on the street they weren’t
anybody on the street they weren’t interacting with the longtime black
interacting with the longtime black
interacting with the longtime black residents that had lived in this
residents that had lived in this
residents that had lived in this neighborhood for generations and there
neighborhood for generations and there
neighborhood for generations and there were new stores opening to cater to this
were new stores opening to cater to this
were new stores opening to cater to this this new crowd there was a yoga studio a
this new crowd there was a yoga studio a
this new crowd there was a yoga studio a coffee shop called The Colony Club a
coffee shop called The Colony Club a
coffee shop called The Colony Club a doggie daycare and so I you know as I
doggie daycare and so I you know as I
doggie daycare and so I you know as I was thinking about how to do this
was thinking about how to do this
was thinking about how to do this project I got an inspiration from kind
project I got an inspiration from kind
project I got an inspiration from kind of an odd source I was reading a story
of an odd source I was reading a story
of an odd source I was reading a story in the modern love column of the New
in the modern love column of the New
in the modern love column of the New York Times and in this story
York Times and in this story
York Times and in this story two people asked each other thirty-six
two people asked each other thirty-six
two people asked each other thirty-six questions that become increasingly more
questions that become increasingly more
questions that become increasingly more personal and
personal and
personal and at the end of that they stare into each
at the end of that they stare into each
at the end of that they stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes
other’s eyes for four minutes
other’s eyes for four minutes and the idea was that they were supposed
and the idea was that they were supposed
and the idea was that they were supposed to fall in love with each other and
to fall in love with each other and
to fall in love with each other and because they had made themselves more
because they had made themselves more
because they had made themselves more vulnerable to each other I mean I don’t
vulnerable to each other I mean I don’t
vulnerable to each other I mean I don’t know about you but I can’t even think
know about you but I can’t even think
know about you but I can’t even think about staring somebody for 10 seconds
about staring somebody for 10 seconds
about staring somebody for 10 seconds like that’s that just sounded horrifying
like that’s that just sounded horrifying
like that’s that just sounded horrifying to me but I was really intrigued by this
to me but I was really intrigued by this
to me but I was really intrigued by this idea of seeing each other and so that
idea of seeing each other and so that
idea of seeing each other and so that idea of seen each other became the core
idea of seen each other became the core
idea of seen each other became the core of my project so what we did was we made
of my project so what we did was we made
of my project so what we did was we made video portraits of people who lived in
video portraits of people who lived in
video portraits of people who lived in the neighborhood and we sought out
the neighborhood and we sought out
the neighborhood and we sought out people who were the unseen and unheard
people who were the unseen and unheard
people who were the unseen and unheard members of the community the ones who if
members of the community the ones who if
members of the community the ones who if they went to a community meeting they
they went to a community meeting they
they went to a community meeting they weren’t the loudest ones and you know
weren’t the loudest ones and you know
weren’t the loudest ones and you know about those people who are always the
about those people who are always the
about those people who are always the loudest ones at those meetings and in
loudest ones at those meetings and in
loudest ones at those meetings and in fact some of them even told me that they
fact some of them even told me that they
fact some of them even told me that they didn’t even bother going to those
didn’t even bother going to those
didn’t even bother going to those meetings because nobody was listening to
meetings because nobody was listening to
meetings because nobody was listening to them anyway so we we made these video
them anyway so we we made these video
them anyway so we we made these video portraits of their faces and I wanted to
portraits of their faces and I wanted to
portraits of their faces and I wanted to use video instead of still photography
use video instead of still photography
use video instead of still photography because I felt like you know it made
because I felt like you know it made
because I felt like you know it made their faces more dynamic and alive you
their faces more dynamic and alive you
their faces more dynamic and alive you can see people’s eyes blinking you can
can see people’s eyes blinking you can
can see people’s eyes blinking you can see their hair blowing in the wind we
see their hair blowing in the wind we
see their hair blowing in the wind we projected these videos into vacant
projected these videos into vacant
projected these videos into vacant storefront windows and buildings along
storefront windows and buildings along
storefront windows and buildings along the main thoroughfare of this
the main thoroughfare of this
the main thoroughfare of this neighborhood my thought and you know
neighborhood my thought and you know
neighborhood my thought and you know they were projected at nighttime so you
they were projected at nighttime so you
they were projected at nighttime so you could see them obviously and so my ideal
could see them obviously and so my ideal
could see them obviously and so my ideal was to give life and give light to these
was to give life and give light to these
was to give life and give light to these dark spaces on this this rapidly
dark spaces on this this rapidly
dark spaces on this this rapidly changing neighborhood it was an amazing
changing neighborhood it was an amazing
changing neighborhood it was an amazing experience to watch pedestrians walking
experience to watch pedestrians walking
experience to watch pedestrians walking down the street and they would just stop
down the street and they would just stop
down the street and they would just stop and stare and just gaze into the eyes of
and stare and just gaze into the eyes of
and stare and just gaze into the eyes of these people and cars would literally
these people and cars would literally
these people and cars would literally pull over and just sit there with the
pull over and just sit there with the
pull over and just sit there with the car running just looking at the faces in
car running just looking at the faces in
car running just looking at the faces in conjunction with this the video part
conjunction with this the video part
conjunction with this the video part portion of the project I organized
portion of the project I organized
portion of the project I organized several gatherings of of people in the
several gatherings of of people in the
several gatherings of of people in the neighborhood different I organized
neighborhood different I organized
neighborhood different I organized different things so that people could
different things so that people could
different things so that people could have different ways of interacting with
have different ways of interacting with
have different ways of interacting with each other and it was you know really
each other and it was you know really
each other and it was you know really important to be able to give people an
important to be able to give people an
important to be able to give people an opportunity to actually talk to each
opportunity to actually talk to each
opportunity to actually talk to each other once they saw each other
other once they saw each other
other once they saw each other spaces so during this whole process I
spaces so during this whole process I
spaces so during this whole process I met a man named Buddy Moore he became
met a man named Buddy Moore he became
met a man named Buddy Moore he became very instrumental in the success of this
very instrumental in the success of this
very instrumental in the success of this project
project
project he’s a 78 year old black man who has
he’s a 78 year old black man who has
he’s a 78 year old black man who has lived in this neighborhood almost his
lived in this neighborhood almost his
lived in this neighborhood almost his entire life and we became kind of
entire life and we became kind of
entire life and we became kind of unlikely friends and he caught he became
unlikely friends and he caught he became
unlikely friends and he caught he became sort of my ambassador to the
sort of my ambassador to the
sort of my ambassador to the neighborhood he introduced me to people
neighborhood he introduced me to people
neighborhood he introduced me to people he sort of advised me on how to navigate
he sort of advised me on how to navigate
he sort of advised me on how to navigate some of the social tensions that were
some of the social tensions that were
some of the social tensions that were happening and so like I said he was one
happening and so like I said he was one
happening and so like I said he was one of the most important pieces of the
of the most important pieces of the
of the most important pieces of the puzzle as in terms of the success of the
puzzle as in terms of the success of the
puzzle as in terms of the success of the project at one of the gatherings where
project at one of the gatherings where
project at one of the gatherings where we were both ad he told this incredible
we were both ad he told this incredible
we were both ad he told this incredible stunning story about how his parents had
stunning story about how his parents had
stunning story about how his parents had moved their small family from South
moved their small family from South
moved their small family from South Carolina to DC when he was only 2 years
Carolina to DC when he was only 2 years
Carolina to DC when he was only 2 years old he had two brothers and he said the
old he had two brothers and he said the
old he had two brothers and he said the reason was because his parents were
reason was because his parents were
reason was because his parents were afraid that their sons would be lynched
afraid that their sons would be lynched
afraid that their sons would be lynched in South Carolina and I just was like my
in South Carolina and I just was like my
in South Carolina and I just was like my took the that’s why she took the breath
took the that’s why she took the breath
took the that’s why she took the breath out of me but I was a little bit too shy
out of me but I was a little bit too shy
out of me but I was a little bit too shy to share my story during that that
to share my story during that that
to share my story during that that gathering so later he and I had lunch
gathering so later he and I had lunch
gathering so later he and I had lunch and I told him the story of how my my
and I told him the story of how my my
and I told him the story of how my my own mother had risked her life to bring
own mother had risked her life to bring
own mother had risked her life to bring our extended family from Vietnam to
our extended family from Vietnam to
our extended family from Vietnam to America and the reason was because they
America and the reason was because they
America and the reason was because they would have been killed by communists at
would have been killed by communists at
would have been killed by communists at that time communists were killing people
that time communists were killing people
that time communists were killing people who had land who had any education who
who had land who had any education who
who had land who had any education who had worked with the Americans during the
had worked with the Americans during the
had worked with the Americans during the war and so in that moment like our
war and so in that moment like our
war and so in that moment like our friendship mine and buddies solidified
friendship mine and buddies solidified
friendship mine and buddies solidified until then we had been cordial
until then we had been cordial
until then we had been cordial neighborly acquaintances but that
neighborly acquaintances but that
neighborly acquaintances but that experience of knowing that our parents
experience of knowing that our parents
experience of knowing that our parents had gone to these extraordinary measures
had gone to these extraordinary measures
had gone to these extraordinary measures to save us really bonded us so like I
to save us really bonded us so like I
to save us really bonded us so like I said right around the election I didn’t
said right around the election I didn’t
said right around the election I didn’t really have much time to wallow and
really have much time to wallow and
really have much time to wallow and being angry sad frustrated I felt all
being angry sad frustrated I felt all
being angry sad frustrated I felt all those things but I was so busy working
those things but I was so busy working
those things but I was so busy working on this project that I
on this project that I
on this project that I Kanna had to suppress those feelings a
Kanna had to suppress those feelings a
Kanna had to suppress those feelings a little bit but you know at the same time
little bit but you know at the same time
little bit but you know at the same time I wanted to do something I I just
I wanted to do something I I just
I wanted to do something I I just couldn’t I just didn’t feel like I could
couldn’t I just didn’t feel like I could
couldn’t I just didn’t feel like I could sit back and and just be sad basically
sit back and and just be sad basically
sit back and and just be sad basically and so I did kind of a weird thing I
and so I did kind of a weird thing I
and so I did kind of a weird thing I posted an invitation on Facebook and I
posted an invitation on Facebook and I
posted an invitation on Facebook and I said if you’re a trump voter I would
said if you’re a trump voter I would
said if you’re a trump voter I would like to invite you over for dinner
like to invite you over for dinner
like to invite you over for dinner because I want to talk to you and I it
because I want to talk to you and I it
because I want to talk to you and I it was on a whim I don’t know I didn’t know
was on a whim I don’t know I didn’t know
was on a whim I don’t know I didn’t know wasn’t sure what would happen from it um
wasn’t sure what would happen from it um
wasn’t sure what would happen from it um but in part I did it because I just
but in part I did it because I just
but in part I did it because I just couldn’t imagine that over 62 million
couldn’t imagine that over 62 million
couldn’t imagine that over 62 million people who voted for him were all
people who voted for him were all
people who voted for him were all terrible people and I wanted to find out
terrible people and I wanted to find out
terrible people and I wanted to find out like why did you vote for this person
like why did you vote for this person
like why did you vote for this person that I find abhorrent I mean I had read
that I find abhorrent I mean I had read
that I find abhorrent I mean I had read lots of books and articles about you
lots of books and articles about you
lots of books and articles about you know the white working-class voters all
know the white working-class voters all
know the white working-class voters all of that I tried watching I tried
of that I tried watching I tried
of that I tried watching I tried watching Fox News as much as I possibly
watching Fox News as much as I possibly
watching Fox News as much as I possibly could stand it and all of that was
could stand it and all of that was
could stand it and all of that was pretty useful information but you know
pretty useful information but you know
pretty useful information but you know it’s filtered through this political
it’s filtered through this political
it’s filtered through this political pundit tree if it was filtered through
pundit tree if it was filtered through
pundit tree if it was filtered through the media like I wanted to hear directly
the media like I wanted to hear directly
the media like I wanted to hear directly from the trunk voter um partially
from the trunk voter um partially
from the trunk voter um partially partially because I was curious but
partially because I was curious but
partially because I was curious but mostly because I just felt like this
mostly because I just felt like this
mostly because I just felt like this country was tearing apart and I was in
country was tearing apart and I was in
country was tearing apart and I was in this bubble that in which I never talked
this bubble that in which I never talked
this bubble that in which I never talked to anybody who thought much differently
to anybody who thought much differently
to anybody who thought much differently for me who you know most people I
for me who you know most people I
for me who you know most people I couldn’t you know hang out with have
couldn’t you know hang out with have
couldn’t you know hang out with have about the same education where so III
about the same education where so III
about the same education where so III was just I just wanted to find out what
was just I just wanted to find out what
was just I just wanted to find out what the the other side thought and I thought
the the other side thought and I thought
the the other side thought and I thought if we could just talk to each other we
if we could just talk to each other we
if we could just talk to each other we might actually together be able to find
might actually together be able to find
might actually together be able to find solutions find ways to heal this this
solutions find ways to heal this this
solutions find ways to heal this this obvious divide in our country I decided
obvious divide in our country I decided
obvious divide in our country I decided to invite people for dinner in
to invite people for dinner in
to invite people for dinner in particular because I thought well maybe
particular because I thought well maybe
particular because I thought well maybe it’ll be less likely to insult me if I
it’ll be less likely to insult me if I
it’ll be less likely to insult me if I cook dinner for them and you know it was
cook dinner for them and you know it was
cook dinner for them and you know it was in I mean a little bit I was a little
in I mean a little bit I was a little
in I mean a little bit I was a little scared right because I people had posted
scared right because I people had posted
scared right because I people had posted terrible things on social media
terrible things on social media
terrible things on social media and you know they had called me stupid
and you know they had called me stupid
and you know they had called me stupid and naive and those are like the nice
and naive and those are like the nice
and naive and those are like the nice things that they said you know people
things that they said you know people
things that they said you know people say things to each other
say things to each other
say things to each other when you can’t when they can’t see you
when you can’t when they can’t see you
when you can’t when they can’t see you when you’re hidden behind a laptop and
when you’re hidden behind a laptop and
when you’re hidden behind a laptop and you don’t see the other person I
believed that Donald Trump is despicable
believed that Donald Trump is despicable no question I’ve made no secret of that
no question I’ve made no secret of that
no question I’ve made no secret of that but I just had this feeling in my gut
but I just had this feeling in my gut
but I just had this feeling in my gut that you know not all the people who
that you know not all the people who
that you know not all the people who voted for him more despicable
voted for him more despicable
voted for him more despicable I might there were some people in my own
I might there were some people in my own
I might there were some people in my own family who voted for Trump as I’m sure
family who voted for Trump as I’m sure
family who voted for Trump as I’m sure some of you have that too and you know
some of you have that too and you know
some of you have that too and you know my my my mother who is a refugee voted
my my my mother who is a refugee voted
my my my mother who is a refugee voted for trumping you’d think she’d have more
for trumping you’d think she’d have more
for trumping you’d think she’d have more more sympathy for refugees but no and
more sympathy for refugees but no and
more sympathy for refugees but no and part of the reason is because she’s
part of the reason is because she’s
part of the reason is because she’s Vietnamese Vietnamese people hate China
Vietnamese Vietnamese people hate China
Vietnamese Vietnamese people hate China they don’t like the growing influence of
they don’t like the growing influence of
they don’t like the growing influence of China not only in Southeast Asia but in
China not only in Southeast Asia but in
China not only in Southeast Asia but in the world and so at the time she
the world and so at the time she
the world and so at the time she believed that Trump would keep China in
believed that Trump would keep China in
believed that Trump would keep China in check and that’s why she voted for him
check and that’s why she voted for him
check and that’s why she voted for him and I don’t think my mother is
and I don’t think my mother is
and I don’t think my mother is despicable I have a Bolivian friend who
despicable I have a Bolivian friend who
despicable I have a Bolivian friend who at her spanish-speaking church the /
at her spanish-speaking church the /
at her spanish-speaking church the / rich the the pastor told the
rich the the pastor told the
rich the the pastor told the parishioners to vote for Donald Trump
parishioners to vote for Donald Trump
parishioners to vote for Donald Trump and a lot of these people who go to this
and a lot of these people who go to this
and a lot of these people who go to this church she said are undocumented and the
church she said are undocumented and the
church she said are undocumented and the reason is because they don’t they don’t
reason is because they don’t they don’t
reason is because they don’t they don’t believe in abortion and so they should
believe in abortion and so they should
believe in abortion and so they should never vote for abortion rights and my
never vote for abortion rights and my
never vote for abortion rights and my Bolivian for she did not vote for
Bolivian for she did not vote for
Bolivian for she did not vote for trumpet-like she said these people are
trumpet-like she said these people are
trumpet-like she said these people are not despicable people I believe her I
not despicable people I believe her I
not despicable people I believe her I also have a white middle-aged man friend
also have a white middle-aged man friend
also have a white middle-aged man friend who just not what has that sounds like
who just not what has that sounds like
who just not what has that sounds like [Laughter]
[Laughter]
[Laughter] he told me the story of how his mother
he told me the story of how his mother
he told me the story of how his mother had been held in a Soviet prison for ten
had been held in a Soviet prison for ten
had been held in a Soviet prison for ten years and when she was finally let go
years and when she was finally let go
years and when she was finally let go she came to America and this guy voted
she came to America and this guy voted
she came to America and this guy voted his mother so this is his mother he
his mother so this is his mother he
his mother so this is his mother he voted for Trump and when I asked him
voted for Trump and when I asked him
voted for Trump and when I asked him about the Russian interference in our
about the Russian interference in our
about the Russian interference in our about Putin he’s like no problem like I
about Putin he’s like no problem like I
about Putin he’s like no problem like I wanna I have a small business and that’s
wanna I have a small business and that’s
wanna I have a small business and that’s what matters to me and I think Trump is
what matters to me and I think Trump is
what matters to me and I think Trump is going it’s good for business he’s a
going it’s good for business he’s a
going it’s good for business he’s a great guy
great guy
great guy not despicable so it was very confusing
not despicable so it was very confusing
not despicable so it was very confusing and I wanted to find out why these nice
and I wanted to find out why these nice
and I wanted to find out why these nice likeable people could vote for what for
likeable people could vote for what for
likeable people could vote for what for such a terrible person so nobody
such a terrible person so nobody
such a terrible person so nobody accepted my invitation on Facebook
accepted my invitation on Facebook
accepted my invitation on Facebook unsurprisingly even though they were
unsurprisingly even though they were
unsurprisingly even though they were very you know they made a lot of
very you know they made a lot of
very you know they made a lot of colorful comments during the campaign
colorful comments during the campaign
colorful comments during the campaign but suddenly everybody went quiet and I
but suddenly everybody went quiet and I
but suddenly everybody went quiet and I didn’t have any voting friends or
didn’t have any voting friends or
didn’t have any voting friends or acquaintances in my circle at least none
acquaintances in my circle at least none
acquaintances in my circle at least none that I knew of I finally found one
that I knew of I finally found one
that I knew of I finally found one though it was the co-worker of a friend
though it was the co-worker of a friend
though it was the co-worker of a friend of a friend and I she introduced me and
of a friend and I she introduced me and
of a friend and I she introduced me and at first this woman was kind of
at first this woman was kind of
at first this woman was kind of reluctant I you know I think she might
reluctant I you know I think she might
reluctant I you know I think she might have thought it was maybe laying a trap
have thought it was maybe laying a trap
have thought it was maybe laying a trap for her something like maybe I was gonna
for her something like maybe I was gonna
for her something like maybe I was gonna pin her down and make her watch Michael
pin her down and make her watch Michael
pin her down and make her watch Michael Moore movies and so I was like no no
Moore movies and so I was like no no
Moore movies and so I was like no no like we’re here I’m not gonna persuade
like we’re here I’m not gonna persuade
like we’re here I’m not gonna persuade you to my viewpoint I you know I’m not
you to my viewpoint I you know I’m not
you to my viewpoint I you know I’m not gonna let anybody do any name-calling
gonna let anybody do any name-calling
gonna let anybody do any name-calling during dinner like it’s I just want to
during dinner like it’s I just want to
during dinner like it’s I just want to listen talk and hear what you have to
listen talk and hear what you have to
listen talk and hear what you have to say and so she agreed and so because I
say and so she agreed and so because I
say and so she agreed and so because I didn’t know any other Trump voters she
didn’t know any other Trump voters she
didn’t know any other Trump voters she brought her libertarian boyfriend and
brought her libertarian boyfriend and
brought her libertarian boyfriend and her across the hall neighbor so like the
her across the hall neighbor so like the
her across the hall neighbor so like the you know it was digging deep to get
you know it was digging deep to get
you know it was digging deep to get guests it might at the table I and then
guests it might at the table I and then
guests it might at the table I and then I invited two liberal friends who kind
I invited two liberal friends who kind
I invited two liberal friends who kind of balanced out the table I want to make
of balanced out the table I want to make
of balanced out the table I want to make sure it was even so that nobody thought
sure it was even so that nobody thought
sure it was even so that nobody thought we were ganging up on anybody and it was
we were ganging up on anybody and it was
we were ganging up on anybody and it was amazing oh I should tell you I made a I
amazing oh I should tell you I made a I
amazing oh I should tell you I made a I thought through the menu it was a red
thought through the menu it was a red
thought through the menu it was a red and blue menu I made I had blue corn
and blue menu I made I had blue corn
and blue menu I made I had blue corn chips and red salsa
chips and red salsa
chips and red salsa I made a blue cheese sauce and put it on
I made a blue cheese sauce and put it on
I made a blue cheese sauce and put it on this pasta that I found that was red
this pasta that I found that was red
this pasta that I found that was red I’ve been tinted with beet juice and
I’ve been tinted with beet juice and
I’ve been tinted with beet juice and then for dessert I made a blueberry and
then for dessert I made a blueberry and
then for dessert I made a blueberry and cherry crisp which was delicious
cherry crisp which was delicious
cherry crisp which was delicious although it did turn into a symbolic
although it did turn into a symbolic
although it did turn into a symbolic purple
purple
purple by the end of the the meal so when the
by the end of the the meal so when the
by the end of the the meal so when the guests arrive we just started talking
guests arrive we just started talking
guests arrive we just started talking about politics from the second they got
about politics from the second they got
about politics from the second they got there until the last person left and you
there until the last person left and you
there until the last person left and you know it was fine but I just felt like I
know it was fine but I just felt like I
know it was fine but I just felt like I felt like the things that I really
felt like the things that I really
felt like the things that I really remembered about people was not about
remembered about people was not about
remembered about people was not about what positions they held politically
what positions they held politically
what positions they held politically what I remember we’re sort of the things
what I remember we’re sort of the things
what I remember we’re sort of the things that made the more human to me
that made the more human to me
that made the more human to me for example the women who the woman had
for example the women who the woman had
for example the women who the woman had voted for Trump she basically said I
voted for Trump she basically said I
voted for Trump she basically said I want to keep more of my money so I’m
want to keep more of my money so I’m
want to keep more of my money so I’m voting for tax policy basically but her
voting for tax policy basically but her
voting for tax policy basically but her Sirian she told the story about her
Sirian she told the story about her
Sirian she told the story about her Syrian grandmother who immigrated to
Syrian grandmother who immigrated to
Syrian grandmother who immigrated to America and I thought that’s strange but
America and I thought that’s strange but
America and I thought that’s strange but interesting about you the one guy he one
interesting about you the one guy he one
interesting about you the one guy he one of his main reasons for voting for Trump
of his main reasons for voting for Trump
of his main reasons for voting for Trump was Kasich you really wanted to appeal
was Kasich you really wanted to appeal
was Kasich you really wanted to appeal Obamacare but he told a story of how he
Obamacare but he told a story of how he
Obamacare but he told a story of how he had traveled all over the world he lived
had traveled all over the world he lived
had traveled all over the world he lived in many countries in Hong Kong for five
in many countries in Hong Kong for five
in many countries in Hong Kong for five years and he talked about how much he
years and he talked about how much he
years and he talked about how much he loved learning about different cultures
loved learning about different cultures
loved learning about different cultures especially for a guy who had grown up as
especially for a guy who had grown up as
especially for a guy who had grown up as a self-professed
a self-professed
a self-professed redneck in South Carolina so again I was
redneck in South Carolina so again I was
redneck in South Carolina so again I was just floored I liked these people I
just floored I liked these people I
just floored I liked these people I couldn’t figure out why these very
couldn’t figure out why these very
couldn’t figure out why these very likeable people voted for this terrible
likeable people voted for this terrible
likeable people voted for this terrible person and you know I guess I kind of
person and you know I guess I kind of
person and you know I guess I kind of started thinking maybe we shouldn’t be
started thinking maybe we shouldn’t be
started thinking maybe we shouldn’t be labeling all of them as racist
labeling all of them as racist
labeling all of them as racist xenophobic ignorant bigots I also
xenophobic ignorant bigots I also
xenophobic ignorant bigots I also started to think why are these dinners
started to think why are these dinners
started to think why are these dinners just aren’t really about politics after
just aren’t really about politics after
just aren’t really about politics after all for the next dinner because I really
all for the next dinner because I really
all for the next dinner because I really wanted to get to know people I wanted us
wanted to get to know people I wanted us
wanted to get to know people I wanted us to get to know each other more I
to get to know each other more I
to get to know each other more I instituted a ban on political
instituted a ban on political
instituted a ban on political conversation for 30 minutes when
conversation for 30 minutes when
conversation for 30 minutes when everybody got there we talked about
everybody got there we talked about
everybody got there we talked about movies that we had seen places we had
movies that we had seen places we had
movies that we had seen places we had traveled I mean it was like a bad first
traveled I mean it was like a bad first
traveled I mean it was like a bad first date so at the end of the thirty minutes
date so at the end of the thirty minutes
date so at the end of the thirty minutes I pulled out this bag yet and I made
I pulled out this bag yet and I made
I pulled out this bag yet and I made everybody put their hand on it and
everybody put their hand on it and
everybody put their hand on it and promised to be respectful to each other
promised to be respectful to each other
promised to be respectful to each other and have you know a civil discourse and
and have you know a civil discourse and
and have you know a civil discourse and then we tore the bread apart
then we tore the bread apart
then we tore the bread apart I’m very into symbolism and I’m very
I’m very into symbolism and I’m very
I’m very into symbolism and I’m very cheesy like that so the conversation was
cheesy like that so the conversation was
cheesy like that so the conversation was going okay
going okay
going okay again polite civilized and then we kind
again polite civilized and then we kind
again polite civilized and then we kind of started veering off into a truck not
of started veering off into a truck not
of started veering off into a truck not uncharted territory like we started
uncharted territory like we started
uncharted territory like we started talking about like rehashing Benghazi
talking about like rehashing Benghazi
talking about like rehashing Benghazi there and then there was this debate
there and then there was this debate
there and then there was this debate about well was Japanese internment
about well was Japanese internment
about well was Japanese internment really so bad I wish I’d had that back
really so bad I wish I’d had that back
really so bad I wish I’d had that back yet again to bludgeon some of these
yet again to bludgeon some of these
yet again to bludgeon some of these people I also realized saving America
people I also realized saving America
people I also realized saving America one dinner party at a time was not going
one dinner party at a time was not going
one dinner party at a time was not going to be easy the next dinner party or now
to be easy the next dinner party or now
to be easy the next dinner party or now not the next a subsequent one because
not the next a subsequent one because
not the next a subsequent one because I’ve done several of these a subsequent
I’ve done several of these a subsequent
I’ve done several of these a subsequent subsequent one took place in rural Ohio
subsequent one took place in rural Ohio
subsequent one took place in rural Ohio I you know I had felt safe inviting
I you know I had felt safe inviting
I you know I had felt safe inviting people to my home in DC I mean 94% of
people to my home in DC I mean 94% of
people to my home in DC I mean 94% of the people voted for Clinton in DC and
the people voted for Clinton in DC and
the people voted for Clinton in DC and so I felt pretty good about that and I
so I felt pretty good about that and I
so I felt pretty good about that and I thought you know going to Ohio was gonna
thought you know going to Ohio was gonna
thought you know going to Ohio was gonna sort of test this theory that you know
sort of test this theory that you know
sort of test this theory that you know whether all Trump voters are racist
whether all Trump voters are racist
whether all Trump voters are racist sexist ignorant you know phobic bigots I
sexist ignorant you know phobic bigots I
sexist ignorant you know phobic bigots I thought I was thinking I’m gonna find
thought I was thinking I’m gonna find
thought I was thinking I’m gonna find some of those people when I go to Ohio
some of those people when I go to Ohio
some of those people when I go to Ohio so I flew into Columbus I rent a car and
so I flew into Columbus I rent a car and
so I flew into Columbus I rent a car and I Drive north into Trump land and I
I Drive north into Trump land and I
I Drive north into Trump land and I pulled over at a rest area to have a
pulled over at a rest area to have a
pulled over at a rest area to have a little bathroom break and when I got out
little bathroom break and when I got out
little bathroom break and when I got out of the car I was kind of looking around
of the car I was kind of looking around
of the car I was kind of looking around at all the people and I thought ooh I
at all the people and I thought ooh I
at all the people and I thought ooh I wonder it’s like wonder if any of these
wonder it’s like wonder if any of these
wonder it’s like wonder if any of these people think I should just go back to
people think I should just go back to
people think I should just go back to where I came from so I was like you know
where I came from so I was like you know
where I came from so I was like you know a little reticent and then maybe a
a little reticent and then maybe a
a little reticent and then maybe a little further down the road I stopped
little further down the road I stopped
little further down the road I stopped at a gas station and I went in to buy
at a gas station and I went in to buy
at a gas station and I went in to buy snack and I found myself being like
snack and I found myself being like
snack and I found myself being like really quiet and unassuming and extra
really quiet and unassuming and extra
really quiet and unassuming and extra polite I realized that some habits die
polite I realized that some habits die
polite I realized that some habits die hard I’ve grown up in the south where I
hard I’ve grown up in the south where I
hard I’ve grown up in the south where I was the only Asian looking kid in my
was the only Asian looking kid in my
was the only Asian looking kid in my community other than my little brother
community other than my little brother
community other than my little brother and I had learned to make myself
and I had learned to make myself
and I had learned to make myself invisible because if people see you they
invisible because if people see you they
invisible because if people see you they might make fun of you they might call
might make fun of you they might call
might make fun of you they might call you terrible names and so I found myself
you terrible names and so I found myself
you terrible names and so I found myself doing that and in in Ohio because I was
doing that and in in Ohio because I was
doing that and in in Ohio because I was suddenly feeling like
suddenly feeling like
suddenly feeling like oh look at all the white people here and
oh look at all the white people here and
oh look at all the white people here and all the potential Trump voters so I
all the potential Trump voters so I
all the potential Trump voters so I arrived and I decided I wanted to try
arrived and I decided I wanted to try
arrived and I decided I wanted to try something new try experiment with a
something new try experiment with a
something new try experiment with a different way of trying to deepen our
different way of trying to deepen our
different way of trying to deepen our connections before we started talking
connections before we started talking
connections before we started talking about politics so what I did was I
about politics so what I did was I
about politics so what I did was I paired up everybody a liberal with a
paired up everybody a liberal with a
paired up everybody a liberal with a conservative and I instructed everyone
conservative and I instructed everyone
conservative and I instructed everyone to tell a story about when they felt
to tell a story about when they felt
to tell a story about when they felt like there were their best selves and we
like there were their best selves and we
like there were their best selves and we just kept talking and talking and I got
just kept talking and talking and I got
just kept talking and talking and I got paired up with this woman who told me
paired up with this woman who told me
paired up with this woman who told me that she really loved German history and
that she really loved German history and
that she really loved German history and I said Oh tell me about that
I said Oh tell me about that
I said Oh tell me about that and she said well I’m especially
and she said well I’m especially
and she said well I’m especially interested in Nazi history and I gasped
interested in Nazi history and I gasped
interested in Nazi history and I gasped but I kept my cool and we just kept
but I kept my cool and we just kept
but I kept my cool and we just kept talking and we just kept telling stories
talking and we just kept telling stories
talking and we just kept telling stories about ourselves to each other and it was
about ourselves to each other and it was
about ourselves to each other and it was just really it was just really amazing
just really it was just really amazing
just really it was just really amazing and we just it we I mean I had a lot at
and we just it we I mean I had a lot at
and we just it we I mean I had a lot at 15 minutes for that portion of the
15 minutes for that portion of the
15 minutes for that portion of the evening I mean we ended up all everybody
evening I mean we ended up all everybody
evening I mean we ended up all everybody all the pairs of people we ended up
all the pairs of people we ended up
all the pairs of people we ended up talking for almost 45 minutes because
talking for almost 45 minutes because
talking for almost 45 minutes because once we started telling the stories we
once we started telling the stories we
once we started telling the stories we just wanted to know more about each
just wanted to know more about each
just wanted to know more about each other
other
other telling the stories seemed to make each
telling the stories seemed to make each
telling the stories seemed to make each make ourselves more human to each other
make ourselves more human to each other
make ourselves more human to each other I was at that dinner when I finally
I was at that dinner when I finally
I was at that dinner when I finally realized that maybe it was possible to
realized that maybe it was possible to
realized that maybe it was possible to heal the political divide in our country
heal the political divide in our country
heal the political divide in our country one conversation at a time so people
one conversation at a time so people
one conversation at a time so people often ask me like you know what did you
often ask me like you know what did you
often ask me like you know what did you learn what did they say you know it’s
learn what did they say you know it’s
learn what did they say you know it’s sort of like I went to the zoo or I went
sort of like I went to the zoo or I went
sort of like I went to the zoo or I went you know I did some anthropological
you know I did some anthropological
you know I did some anthropological survey and I just somehow discovered
survey and I just somehow discovered
survey and I just somehow discovered something amazing that the thing the one
something amazing that the thing the one
something amazing that the thing the one thing that was gonna make it all make
thing that was gonna make it all make
thing that was gonna make it all make sense or unite all of us and I wish I
sense or unite all of us and I wish I
sense or unite all of us and I wish I could tell you that I have the answer to
could tell you that I have the answer to
could tell you that I have the answer to that there is no one thing what I really
that there is no one thing what I really
that there is no one thing what I really what I found out was that we have we all
what I found out was that we have we all
what I found out was that we have we all have this urge to connect with each
have this urge to connect with each
have this urge to connect with each other
other
other I made no secret of my disdain for
I made no secret of my disdain for
I made no secret of my disdain for Donald Trump and yet Trump voters came
Donald Trump and yet Trump voters came
Donald Trump and yet Trump voters came to my house for dinner I thought that
to my house for dinner I thought that
to my house for dinner I thought that was amazing
was amazing
was amazing we crave human
we crave human
we crave human tact I think that I think that once we
tact I think that I think that once we
tact I think that I think that once we start having actual meaningful
start having actual meaningful
start having actual meaningful conversations with each other it starts
conversations with each other it starts
conversations with each other it starts we start seeing each other as human
we start seeing each other as human
we start seeing each other as human beings and I don’t mean conversations
beings and I don’t mean conversations
beings and I don’t mean conversations like we’re like I say something then you
like we’re like I say something then you
like we’re like I say something then you say something then I say something I
say something then I say something I
say something then I say something I mean you actually have to share
mean you actually have to share
mean you actually have to share something meaningful something that
something meaningful something that
something meaningful something that means something to you and you and then
means something to you and you and then
means something to you and you and then you have to listen and really listen
you have to listen and really listen
you have to listen and really listen it’s not casual conversation so I feel
it’s not casual conversation so I feel
it’s not casual conversation so I feel like if people were to do this sort of
like if people were to do this sort of
like if people were to do this sort of thing our country we would be less
thing our country we would be less
thing our country we would be less fearful of each other and we would
fearful of each other and we would
fearful of each other and we would become less polarized it’s really hard
become less polarized it’s really hard
become less polarized it’s really hard to do it’s very very very uncomfortable
to do it’s very very very uncomfortable
to do it’s very very very uncomfortable but I think it’s worth doing so don’t
but I think it’s worth doing so don’t
but I think it’s worth doing so don’t get me wrong this experience does not
get me wrong this experience does not
get me wrong this experience does not lessen my abhorrence for Donald Trump
lessen my abhorrence for Donald Trump
lessen my abhorrence for Donald Trump I still Emporium but I don’t and poor
I still Emporium but I don’t and poor
I still Emporium but I don’t and poor all the people who voted for him in fact
all the people who voted for him in fact
all the people who voted for him in fact I found myself liking many of them
I found myself liking many of them
I found myself liking many of them they’re not they’re not data points
they’re not they’re not data points
they’re not they’re not data points they’re just flawed human beings who
they’re just flawed human beings who
they’re just flawed human beings who have good intentions just like me just
have good intentions just like me just
have good intentions just like me just like you so that woman I told you about
like you so that woman I told you about
like you so that woman I told you about while we were talking she told me that
while we were talking she told me that
while we were talking she told me that she had survived breast cancer and I
she had survived breast cancer and I
she had survived breast cancer and I just started to cry I told her that I
just started to cry I told her that I
just started to cry I told her that I had kicked breast cancer three years ago
had kicked breast cancer three years ago
had kicked breast cancer three years ago and then she started to cry and at that
and then she started to cry and at that
and then she started to cry and at that moment I realized I couldn’t I wanted to
moment I realized I couldn’t I wanted to
moment I realized I couldn’t I wanted to hate her but I just couldn’t and we just
hate her but I just couldn’t and we just
hate her but I just couldn’t and we just we just saw each other and we realized
we just saw each other and we realized
we just saw each other and we realized that it wasn’t going to be politics that
that it wasn’t going to be politics that
that it wasn’t going to be politics that bound us together
bound us together
bound us together it was our shared experiences they made
it was our shared experiences they made
it was our shared experiences they made us see each other as humans made us
us see each other as humans made us
us see each other as humans made us visible to each other and that’s what’s
visible to each other and that’s what’s
visible to each other and that’s what’s going to heal the political divide in
going to heal the political divide in
going to heal the political divide in our country thank you
”
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