Sconfiggere i conflitti con l’ascolto | Priel Korenfeld | TEDxUdine

[Music]

what a day

I like tea since then the little squares

well also I like it a lot for

explain to you what emotion I’m living in

this moment

you must understand that in 2005 when I have

I discovered the tests on the internet I went

out of your mind and there are not a few that

I have not seen from 2005 until today for

which are a lot of wasted hours

others truly earned with so many

So I first learned stories

What was a roof then I arrived in

Italy in 2007 I learned Italian

so today I’m almost ready to do

a roof in Italian to reflect on

something very important that is

very much to heart

together with you and it is mine

I arrive in Italy that I would like to leave

Imagine this scene, me and mine

new roommate we open ours

baggage and we begin to settle the

our new double room here right

in the center of udine

I come from the Israel he comes from

Palestine in the next three years

we will live together with other boys

from countries in conflict between di

they will keep you this apartment

learning lots of things on each other

and many other things about ourselves

he takes out some pictures that

lean on the bedside table and then pull out

the national flag of palestine si

addressing me asks me

sorry where your flag I do not see it

on the wall and I do not want to put my own if

you do not put your embarrassed self on me

I answer I did not bring my flag

I do not like these things very much

However, reality seems to me to be the case

I see how to solve and so I did

this actually made our room

where we lived together

and this is only the beginning and then not

I can finish it here no see it seems

more and more difficult to live on this

land

this was almost ten years ago and it seems

it seems increasingly difficult to be

all in crisis crisis political crisis

economic crisis crisis values

environmental crisis between lovers the crisis of the

migrants sometimes do not even need to

specify just say the crisis as if

it was an explanation all right in

this confusion only one thing me

it is clear if we want to live better if

we want to get out of it together

confusion

then we must learn cohabitation

we must learn to live together

everything seems broken no here tonight

instead I want to talk to you about the lesson

I learned about living together VAT

to feel a little because

what will happen if instead of being afraid

if instead of breaking everything if instead of

live these epochal changes with

concern and it is the same

concern on both sides

who comes from far away and comes to Italy

he is afraid of being excluded

and who lives in Italy see arrivals has

fear of being excluded

this is the tragedy and our future

companies will be more and more

multicultural more and more

multireligious more and more multi-ethnic

and if we do not prepare ourselves for this

reality the consequences will be

disastrous it will really break everything

but what will happen if instead

instead we will be smart enough to

prepare

ourselves first of all our children

of our society this new one

future in which humanity continues to

dialogue continues to create new ones

identity to devolve to dream together

as we have heard even before that

future we can imagine ourselves because the

progress does not come back then there

adapt to this here then to make you

understand what it means we have

lived in seven in that apartment

but we have always told that with

we lived another kind of god

little monster a little monster that we

we called affectionately

misunderstanding because i

misunderstandings between us were bread

daily and could be

misunderstandings as small as all

those cups of tea I have prepared

in too much because I did not understand that for

the Turks this movement of the head

means no it took me I would say two

liters and a half of you to understand that there is

something wrong with which I have it

apologized you did not want the ten

I did not do it just so you did

yes no so they could be this type

of misunderstanding, however, they could also

be deeper misunderstandings

as once I remember

clearly after an encounter we have

obtained in a school that in my opinion

went there we went particularly

good, my Palestinian friend seems

I ask him a little gloomy thoughtfully

I try to investigate this success

only to find out that it is not thoughtful

and angry and angry with

better what I did

I wonder is he but you do not realize

with another 100 but another

another speech you do not realize

mango if it was my girlfriend and

and dropped the clock to mark the

time problems and he I continue to

investigate what happened in

that meeting that I did not understand is

it went so well instead it was not

for him

I find that at some point

I crossed my legs

turning my shoe to him that day

discovered that this is in the Arab world

considered a direct insult and that ai

most despised politicians do not

they throw the eggs in the tomatoes but the

shoes for which I thought that day

that I still have a long way to go though

with time and time we talk today

at the same time we talked we have

learned sorry to know us

we have learned a lot about ours

identity identity are things

important many times when we talk

of identity

we seem to be able to talk about one

what a clear thing is unique

something stiff a bit like paper

of identity, but it is not like that

identity help us to define the

people for whom this is an Italian

this is an ex-Community one

Muslim that other a Jew to go

saying

as a consequence we then stick to

these people also have other labels for

which the Italian mafia Jews the rich

furlans always love can not others

I hope because then you go out 4 because I am

reforms

well this is dangerous and it is

dangerous because if I consider you

just an easy size that

we are in conflict if I believe in God

and you not

we will never agree on anything true

no, that’s not true

we know it’s not like that because she is

more father is a little more son she is

more religious or more Italian

woman or more believer but only I am not

things that are excluded from ours

identities are never flat are

multidimensional sometimes

conflict within ourselves but they are

always always colorful and then

so

if you learn to know if I dedicate the

time to meet my friend

Palestinians find out about him that he is

Muslim believer but a little his way

I find it patriotic but

extremely critical of its own government

I find he lives alive with sugar in it

he eats a really quantity

embarrassing but that the spicy it

I tolerate better for which more

dimensions of he learned to know e

more things I find that we have in common

these dimensions we have in common

they intertwine and weave one together

sort of safety lines for the

our relationship

I explain to her why if we quarrel with her

next time on one of the aspects

on faith rather than politics

rather than spicy or

sugar

we argue about that dimension there but

he and I know so many others

what’s this

one of the other so even if

we break one of these threads of the lines

the fabric remains intact and we succeed

to be together the same this is the

same thing that happens in families

it happens among the friends one that you do not

fight , but there are many others

things that bind us we must have some

time to get to know each other for this

I think I will say, however, as the applause of

first to you then it was a project

particular you were predisposed chosen

maybe among many people in palestine and

in Israel and the good ones for whom

you are special people you kinda like

gandhi non-violent people as if

it was a gene

well then I ask you tonight what it is

non-violence

that is how nonviolence and non- violence are done

it’s a philosophical question if you’re careful

I want to be a peaceful person

a non-violent person

I have to understand how to behave bad words

when the words help me I say not

just what not to do not violence or

they do not offer me a positive commitment

so for many years and I am

questioned about the violence itself and I have

looked for a clear and round definition

for violence because if I can

define violence maybe I find one

good definition of its place in the

against which I can commit myself

in that direction

it was not easy it took a while

years but today

I show you my definition that

I draw from the light Hebrew no above

there is the word violence in Hebrew ali

mood below is another word in

Hebrew that contains the same root

etymological in the second word and the

mood that can not talk that bond there

would be

I deduce that

violence is the act of making dumb

someone attention this is true

verbal level at the physical level level

ideological

all you want and more

it also means that I do not have to use

necessarily the strength to be

violent no, just do not listen to

person

just ignore what it says for change

As we disce glories when a person

he pretends to talk to us while

look at your cell phone

it is not that we immediately ask him

listen here if violence is the act of

make someone dumb his place and

listening and not just listening in

which I prepare my answer in

while I listen to you because I already know

What do you want to tell me and I already know what it will be

my answer

this is not listening I heard one

definition that says that a biologist is

two monologues together but we are not

really speaking listening is this

listening is presuming that I do not have

I understood I did not understand why I did it

taxes too much and I had to

I did not understand it because I did

offended I did not even understand that I have

offended and then how I offended my friend

Palestinian during the meeting is like this

we do not understand a lot of things about who he is

different from us and therefore it is only

when we spend time

consciously to listen to people

especially if they are different from us only

when only when we realize

that we have not understood yet that

we can better understand what we can do

to know each other and this is mine

definition of nonviolence for which

in these times and times we speak

tonight in these tumultuous times

so difficult

all our fragilities come out

and we seek stability come

out of all these crises and we try

opportunities there are people forces

also political forces seeking to

divide us and we look for new networks

new new fraternity unions

well if we remember in these times

that this land is everyone’s home

how many of us and we must learn to

living together we must learn the

cohabitation and if you ask me if tonight

this cohabitation is possible now I can

tell you about my experience and say that

we can absolutely make this

a welcoming home for everyone

how many of us

if I call you some time to listen to one

person at a time, thanks for yours

I listen

[Applause]