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Rethinking group dynamics: How to be better together | Daria Vodopianova | TEDxUniMelb


[Applause]

[Applause] whatever you believe in the universe

whatever you believe in the universe

whatever you believe in the universe will say yes whatever you believe is

will say yes whatever you believe is

will say yes whatever you believe is true your mind and body will believe

true your mind and body will believe

true your mind and body will believe that too

that too

that too in fact I would like you to experience

in fact I would like you to experience

in fact I would like you to experience with me right now that feeling so I will

with me right now that feeling so I will

with me right now that feeling so I will ask you to close your eyes and feel into

ask you to close your eyes and feel into

ask you to close your eyes and feel into your body feel every word and every

your body feel every word and every

your body feel every word and every question and where that resonates with

question and where that resonates with

question and where that resonates with you am I happy yes am i sad yes will I

you am I happy yes am i sad yes will I

you am I happy yes am i sad yes will I fail yes will I succeed yes you can open

fail yes will I succeed yes you can open

fail yes will I succeed yes you can open your eyes now how did that feel

your eyes now how did that feel

your eyes now how did that feel it’s a very short exercise I know but I

it’s a very short exercise I know but I

it’s a very short exercise I know but I guess that triggers some emotions in all

guess that triggers some emotions in all

guess that triggers some emotions in all of us because your words matter

of us because your words matter

of us because your words matter everything you believe in everything you

everything you believe in everything you

everything you believe in everything you think matters for your success and many

think matters for your success and many

think matters for your success and many of us starting to understand that on an

of us starting to understand that on an

of us starting to understand that on an individual level we listen to mindset

individual level we listen to mindset

individual level we listen to mindset coaches life coaches we read different

coaches life coaches we read different

coaches life coaches we read different magazines and we kind of practice that

magazines and we kind of practice that

magazines and we kind of practice that an everyday level and the everyday life

an everyday level and the everyday life

an everyday level and the everyday life even small things like a job interview

even small things like a job interview

even small things like a job interview has a massive effect on our mind so

has a massive effect on our mind so

has a massive effect on our mind so let’s say I’ve go to a job interview and

let’s say I’ve go to a job interview and

let’s say I’ve go to a job interview and I go I will get this job there’s a

I go I will get this job there’s a

I go I will get this job there’s a bigger chance that I work to get that oh

bigger chance that I work to get that oh

bigger chance that I work to get that oh let’s say I’ll have a test that I want

let’s say I’ll have a test that I want

let’s say I’ll have a test that I want to have in school and I just feel like I

to have in school and I just feel like I

to have in school and I just feel like I haven’t studied enough I had too much

haven’t studied enough I had too much

haven’t studied enough I had too much coffee already and I just don’t feel

coffee already and I just don’t feel

coffee already and I just don’t feel that it’s gonna work I feel like I gotta

that it’s gonna work I feel like I gotta

that it’s gonna work I feel like I gotta fail and that’s what’s gonna happen

fail and that’s what’s gonna happen

fail and that’s what’s gonna happen maybe because I’m not giving the chance

maybe because I’m not giving the chance

maybe because I’m not giving the chance to myself to succeed mindset coaches

to myself to succeed mindset coaches

to myself to succeed mindset coaches like for example

like for example

like for example robin’s or garyvee are confident telling

robin’s or garyvee are confident telling

robin’s or garyvee are confident telling us that you can be wherever you want you

us that you can be wherever you want you

us that you can be wherever you want you can succeed it sounds so simple but is

can succeed it sounds so simple but is

can succeed it sounds so simple but is it really they believe that anyone can

it really they believe that anyone can

it really they believe that anyone can succeed and there are some times right

succeed and there are some times right

succeed and there are some times right about it because yes if we trust that if

about it because yes if we trust that if

about it because yes if we trust that if we can have that feeling we not listen

we can have that feeling we not listen

we can have that feeling we not listen to other people but there’s one more

to other people but there’s one more

to other people but there’s one more thing to it the surrounding those people

thing to it the surrounding those people

thing to it the surrounding those people make sure that they’re surrounded by

make sure that they’re surrounded by

make sure that they’re surrounded by others

others

others they’re also think that they were going

they’re also think that they were going

they’re also think that they were going to be good so if I feel like I’m awesome

to be good so if I feel like I’m awesome

to be good so if I feel like I’m awesome I’m awesome right

I’m awesome right

I’m awesome right but do my friends know that as well so

but do my friends know that as well so

but do my friends know that as well so me myself Oh

me myself Oh

me myself Oh every day I try to read blog post about

every day I try to read blog post about

every day I try to read blog post about this topic I listen to different podcast

this topic I listen to different podcast

this topic I listen to different podcast i watch youtube videos so one morning I

i watch youtube videos so one morning I

i watch youtube videos so one morning I woke up and I went on YouTube like

woke up and I went on YouTube like

woke up and I went on YouTube like always

always

always who knows gonna be here raise your hands

who knows gonna be here raise your hands

who knows gonna be here raise your hands alright some people here no guarantee I

alright some people here no guarantee I

alright some people here no guarantee I went on YouTube and I had my Gary Vee

went on YouTube and I had my Gary Vee

went on YouTube and I had my Gary Vee kick alright so after coffee I had my

kick alright so after coffee I had my

kick alright so after coffee I had my Gary Vee kick so he boosted me so Gary

Gary Vee kick so he boosted me so Gary

Gary Vee kick so he boosted me so Gary said go hustle so I went hustling so I

said go hustle so I went hustling so I

said go hustle so I went hustling so I was feeling very pumped and I was

was feeling very pumped and I was

was feeling very pumped and I was feeling alright I’m the top of the world

feeling alright I’m the top of the world

feeling alright I’m the top of the world I’m feeling so great about myself so I’m

I’m feeling so great about myself so I’m

I’m feeling so great about myself so I’m going to meet my friends and I sit down

going to meet my friends and I sit down

going to meet my friends and I sit down and I wait for them and I just feel like

and I wait for them and I just feel like

and I wait for them and I just feel like this is a great day and then my friends

this is a great day and then my friends

this is a great day and then my friends come and I ask them how are we feeling

come and I ask them how are we feeling

come and I ask them how are we feeling how is your day how is life and the

how is your day how is life and the

how is your day how is life and the first goes oh god I just hate my job and

first goes oh god I just hate my job and

first goes oh god I just hate my job and the second goes I’m counting the days

the second goes I’m counting the days

the second goes I’m counting the days for my holidays ten more days honestly

for my holidays ten more days honestly

for my holidays ten more days honestly and the last one is she’s saying do you

and the last one is she’s saying do you

and the last one is she’s saying do you know what happened to me today I had

know what happened to me today I had

know what happened to me today I had four wait three hours from my doctor’s

four wait three hours from my doctor’s

four wait three hours from my doctor’s appointment

appointment

appointment can you imagine three hours what about

can you imagine three hours what about

can you imagine three hours what about you uh you know what same old same old

you uh you know what same old same old

you uh you know what same old same old nothing too different I don’t want to be

nothing too different I don’t want to be

nothing too different I don’t want to be the weird one so we have collectively

the weird one so we have collectively

the weird one so we have collectively agreed that that’s how you answer how

agreed that that’s how you answer how

agreed that that’s how you answer how are you

are you

are you if someone asked me how are you how its

if someone asked me how are you how its

if someone asked me how are you how its life I should not answer I’m also by

life I should not answer I’m also by

life I should not answer I’m also by feeling

feeling

feeling today I should answer yeah same old same

today I should answer yeah same old same

today I should answer yeah same old same old so after that day I go home we my

old so after that day I go home we my

old so after that day I go home we my superhero cape dragging on the ground

go social media following me thank God

go social media following me thank God it’s Friday

worst horror story and the shortest

worst horror story and the shortest Monday because surely we cannot just say

Monday because surely we cannot just say

Monday because surely we cannot just say that we are having an amazing day it

that we are having an amazing day it

that we are having an amazing day it seems funny to us but what is this

seems funny to us but what is this

seems funny to us but what is this actually telling us us about our group

actually telling us us about our group

actually telling us us about our group society that no one can be better than

society that no one can be better than

society that no one can be better than others

others

others and no one can succeed and which we

and no one can succeed and which we

and no one can succeed and which we cannot just be encouraging each other

cannot just be encouraging each other

cannot just be encouraging each other but to be even better no one wants to be

but to be even better no one wants to be

but to be even better no one wants to be the smartest kid in the class

the smartest kid in the class

the smartest kid in the class it goes so far that we actually gave

it goes so far that we actually gave

it goes so far that we actually gave this a name it’s a group syndrome in

this a name it’s a group syndrome in

this a name it’s a group syndrome in english-speaking countries we call this

english-speaking countries we call this

english-speaking countries we call this that tall poppy syndrome in Sweden where

that tall poppy syndrome in Sweden where

that tall poppy syndrome in Sweden where I grew up

I grew up

I grew up it’s called Atlanta low so the thing is

it’s called Atlanta low so the thing is

it’s called Atlanta low so the thing is there are so many people in a society

there are so many people in a society

there are so many people in a society that are suffering of loneliness

that are suffering of loneliness

that are suffering of loneliness burnouts and depressions we need to help

burnouts and depressions we need to help

burnouts and depressions we need to help them on a group level to feel supported

them on a group level to feel supported

them on a group level to feel supported and to bring them up that’s very

and to bring them up that’s very

and to bring them up that’s very important because it is possible and

important because it is possible and

important because it is possible and I’ve seen it one of the groups that has

I’ve seen it one of the groups that has

I’ve seen it one of the groups that has been able to use the group to bring the

been able to use the group to bring the

been able to use the group to bring the people up is the entrepreneurs they’re

people up is the entrepreneurs they’re

people up is the entrepreneurs they’re brilliant on that today I would like to

brilliant on that today I would like to

brilliant on that today I would like to share three different ideas and things

share three different ideas and things

share three different ideas and things we can learn from them so we can reuse

we can learn from them so we can reuse

we can learn from them so we can reuse in other groups in the society it all

in other groups in the society it all

in other groups in the society it all started a couple of months ago do you

started a couple of months ago do you

started a couple of months ago do you know the famous code saying you are the

know the famous code saying you are the

know the famous code saying you are the average of the five people that you’re

average of the five people that you’re

average of the five people that you’re spending your time with so I decide

spending your time with so I decide

spending your time with so I decide to put that into practice I wrote down

to put that into practice I wrote down

to put that into practice I wrote down the list of my five top friends and

the list of my five top friends and

the list of my five top friends and contacts and just so how can they those

contacts and just so how can they those

contacts and just so how can they those people that are bringing me up on a

people that are bringing me up on a

people that are bringing me up on a personal and professional level and I

personal and professional level and I

personal and professional level and I call them up and I say hi

call them up and I say hi

call them up and I say hi you’re my list so you better kind of

you’re my list so you better kind of

you’re my list so you better kind of like it so the thing is I will call you

like it so the thing is I will call you

like it so the thing is I will call you every week okay and we’ll have a coffee

every week okay and we’ll have a coffee

every week okay and we’ll have a coffee Oh we’ll catch up on the phone because

Oh we’ll catch up on the phone because

Oh we’ll catch up on the phone because you’re awesome and we gonna be awesome

you’re awesome and we gonna be awesome

you’re awesome and we gonna be awesome together so one of those friends is Alma

together so one of those friends is Alma

together so one of those friends is Alma Alma lives in Europe and I call her

Alma lives in Europe and I call her

Alma lives in Europe and I call her every Monday Alma is a sole trader as

every Monday Alma is a sole trader as

every Monday Alma is a sole trader as meat so we both work here only or with

meat so we both work here only or with

meat so we both work here only or with ourselves so we don’t have so much

ourselves so we don’t have so much

ourselves so we don’t have so much brainstorming with others about our own

brainstorming with others about our own

brainstorming with others about our own business so when we start speaking with

business so when we start speaking with

business so when we start speaking with each other we actually start to think

each other we actually start to think

each other we actually start to think together I started to think differently

together I started to think differently

together I started to think differently I started to brainstorm God get new

I started to brainstorm God get new

I started to brainstorm God get new ideas creativity that was flourishing

ideas creativity that was flourishing

ideas creativity that was flourishing I was really growing and the same was

I was really growing and the same was

I was really growing and the same was for Alma another thing that happened at

for Alma another thing that happened at

for Alma another thing that happened at the same time was that I joined an

the same time was that I joined an

the same time was that I joined an accountability group so with three other

accountability group so with three other

accountability group so with three other women we decided to meet for brunch once

women we decided to meet for brunch once

women we decided to meet for brunch once a month between every branch we are

a month between every branch we are

a month between every branch we are writing an email where we are saying our

writing an email where we are saying our

writing an email where we are saying our intention and goals for the coming

intention and goals for the coming

intention and goals for the coming months and what we want to work on so

months and what we want to work on so

months and what we want to work on so when we meet we talk about that we talk

when we meet we talk about that we talk

when we meet we talk about that we talk about the success and maybe things that

about the success and maybe things that

about the success and maybe things that will indeed works out as he wanted and

will indeed works out as he wanted and

will indeed works out as he wanted and try to support each other to really have

try to support each other to really have

try to support each other to really have a chance to succeed and so the house

a chance to succeed and so the house

a chance to succeed and so the house life question that we were talking about

life question that we were talking about

life question that we were talking about before has another answer we are allowed

before has another answer we are allowed

before has another answer we are allowed to say that actually it’s going really

to say that actually it’s going really

to say that actually it’s going really well after three months one of us had

well after three months one of us had

well after three months one of us had her first art exhibition one actually

her first art exhibition one actually

her first art exhibition one actually bought a house and she’s hoping her yoga

bought a house and she’s hoping her yoga

bought a house and she’s hoping her yoga studio and I’ve been able to write on my

studio and I’ve been able to write on my

studio and I’ve been able to write on my first book which will be soon published

first book which will be soon published

first book which will be soon published it’s all very exciting and I know that

it’s all very exciting and I know that

it’s all very exciting and I know that this group those women helped me to get

this group those women helped me to get

this group those women helped me to get there because having three people are

there because having three people are

there because having three people are supporting me whatever I’m doing and I

supporting me whatever I’m doing and I

supporting me whatever I’m doing and I know that they are want the best for me

know that they are want the best for me

know that they are want the best for me it’s so great I also want to mention

it’s so great I also want to mention

it’s so great I also want to mention third group which is called the

third group which is called the

third group which is called the mastermind groups it’s very common for

mastermind groups it’s very common for

mastermind groups it’s very common for entrepreneurs the founder called

entrepreneurs the founder called

entrepreneurs the founder called Napoleon Hill were saying that if we put

Napoleon Hill were saying that if we put

Napoleon Hill were saying that if we put two brains together that would create

two brains together that would create

two brains together that would create and make them work together that will

and make them work together that will

and make them work together that will create a third mind so having that group

create a third mind so having that group

create a third mind so having that group is actually a new mind that crates so

is actually a new mind that crates so

is actually a new mind that crates so equitability groups are great but

equitability groups are great but

equitability groups are great but mastermind groups also give something

mastermind groups also give something

mastermind groups also give something else which is the skill sharing so what

else which is the skill sharing so what

else which is the skill sharing so what you bring in is that different experts

you bring in is that different experts

you bring in is that different experts share the experience and help to work

share the experience and help to work

share the experience and help to work together on the projects isn’t that

together on the projects isn’t that

together on the projects isn’t that fabulous that we are using the group for

fabulous that we are using the group for

fabulous that we are using the group for every individual to support each other

every individual to support each other

every individual to support each other so my question to you today is why don’t

so my question to you today is why don’t

so my question to you today is why don’t we try to use that more in the bigger

we try to use that more in the bigger

we try to use that more in the bigger society imagine if we start to use the

society imagine if we start to use the

society imagine if we start to use the mastermind groups in schools if we let

mastermind groups in schools if we let

mastermind groups in schools if we let the kids and the children help each

the kids and the children help each

the kids and the children help each other

other

other so let’s say that one is good at math

so let’s say that one is good at math

so let’s say that one is good at math and now with another is good in English

and now with another is good in English

and now with another is good in English and actually trade their skills and help

and actually trade their skills and help

and actually trade their skills and help each other to be even better both of

each other to be even better both of

each other to be even better both of them all let’s say that you’re working

them all let’s say that you’re working

them all let’s say that you’re working in very big company a corporate and you

in very big company a corporate and you

in very big company a corporate and you feel that you don’t have the energy and

feel that you don’t have the energy and

feel that you don’t have the energy and stimulation anymore and you can meet a

stimulation anymore and you can meet a

stimulation anymore and you can meet a mentor once a week and you can talk to

mentor once a week and you can talk to

mentor once a week and you can talk to that person and that person will

that person and that person will

that person and that person will encourage you to work in your career in

encourage you to work in your career in

encourage you to work in your career in your development and make sure that you

your development and make sure that you

your development and make sure that you are feeling good in the company oh let’s

are feeling good in the company oh let’s

are feeling good in the company oh let’s say if you’re a job seeker

say if you’re a job seeker

say if you’re a job seeker everyone knows the job seeking process

everyone knows the job seeking process

everyone knows the job seeking process can be very hard and difficult and

can be very hard and difficult and

can be very hard and difficult and they’re very lonely and we feel isolated

they’re very lonely and we feel isolated

they’re very lonely and we feel isolated sometimes why don’t we bring

sometimes why don’t we bring

sometimes why don’t we bring accountability groups into the job

accountability groups into the job

accountability groups into the job seeking process so everyone in that

seeking process so everyone in that

seeking process so everyone in that process can help each other to work on

process can help each other to work on

process can help each other to work on the CVS and apply for jobs and make sure

the CVS and apply for jobs and make sure

the CVS and apply for jobs and make sure that you’re part of a support group so

that you’re part of a support group so

that you’re part of a support group so my main question today is why don’t we

my main question today is why don’t we

my main question today is why don’t we teach the tall poppy syndrome and change

teach the tall poppy syndrome and change

teach the tall poppy syndrome and change the status quo thank you

the status quo thank you

the status quo thank you you

”

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