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Re-evaluating important vs. urgent | Lewis Sorvillo | TEDxSchriever


[Applause]

[Applause] so I moved here to Colorado Springs from

so I moved here to Colorado Springs from

so I moved here to Colorado Springs from Phoenix Arizona three months ago and

Phoenix Arizona three months ago and

Phoenix Arizona three months ago and while I was unpacking my household goods

while I was unpacking my household goods

while I was unpacking my household goods I came across a box that I’ve been

I came across a box that I’ve been

I came across a box that I’ve been hauling around with me for the last 24

hauling around with me for the last 24

hauling around with me for the last 24 years and then this box have a bunch of

years and then this box have a bunch of

years and then this box have a bunch of keepsakes and mementos that I’ve

keepsakes and mementos that I’ve

keepsakes and mementos that I’ve accumulated throughout my career in the

accumulated throughout my career in the

accumulated throughout my career in the Air Force and for whatever reason that

Air Force and for whatever reason that

Air Force and for whatever reason that afternoon I decided to take the

afternoon I decided to take the

afternoon I decided to take the proverbial trek down memory lane and as

proverbial trek down memory lane and as

proverbial trek down memory lane and as I was going through all of this stuff

I was going through all of this stuff

I was going through all of this stuff and reminiscing a little bit I came

and reminiscing a little bit I came

and reminiscing a little bit I came across a newspaper article specifically

across a newspaper article specifically

across a newspaper article specifically it was a commentary written in 1997 by

it was a commentary written in 1997 by

it was a commentary written in 1997 by Colonel mark moon and in the article

Colonel mark moon and in the article

Colonel mark moon and in the article comes Lou who at that time was just

comes Lou who at that time was just

comes Lou who at that time was just wrapping up a long and distinguished a

wrapping up a long and distinguished a

wrapping up a long and distinguished a career in the army

career in the army

career in the army he reflected back on his career and he

he reflected back on his career and he

he reflected back on his career and he came up with a with a list of things

came up with a with a list of things

came up with a with a list of things that he would do differently if he could

that he would do differently if he could

that he would do differently if he could go back to the very beginning and do it

go back to the very beginning and do it

go back to the very beginning and do it all over again and in doing so he

all over again and in doing so he

all over again and in doing so he recounted some advice given to him by

recounted some advice given to him by

recounted some advice given to him by one of his mentor’s earlier in his

one of his mentor’s earlier in his

one of his mentor’s earlier in his career and this advice dealt with

career and this advice dealt with

career and this advice dealt with something and I suspect each and every

something and I suspect each and every

something and I suspect each and every one of us at one time or another has had

one of us at one time or another has had

one of us at one time or another has had to deal with and that is maintaining a

to deal with and that is maintaining a

to deal with and that is maintaining a healthy balance between our work life

healthy balance between our work life

healthy balance between our work life and our family life and at the heart of

and our family life and at the heart of

and our family life and at the heart of this advice was the notion that if you

this advice was the notion that if you

this advice was the notion that if you can understand and appreciate and apply

can understand and appreciate and apply

can understand and appreciate and apply the difference between that which is

the difference between that which is

the difference between that which is important and that which is urgent you

important and that which is urgent you

important and that which is urgent you will be better able to make healthy

will be better able to make healthy

will be better able to make healthy decisions as you get with the competing

decisions as you get with the competing

decisions as you get with the competing priorities in the jewfro from day to day

priorities in the jewfro from day to day

priorities in the jewfro from day to day so while I was reading the article again

so while I was reading the article again

so while I was reading the article again it struck a chord with me much like I

it struck a chord with me much like I

it struck a chord with me much like I did the first time I read it however now

did the first time I read it however now

did the first time I read it however now some 20 years later as someone who is

some 20 years later as someone who is

some 20 years later as someone who is very close to retiring myself I was

very close to retiring myself I was

very close to retiring myself I was inspired in a different way I was

inspired in a different way I was

inspired in a different way I was inspired they come up with my own list

inspired they come up with my own list

inspired they come up with my own list of things I would be differently if I

of things I would be differently if I

of things I would be differently if I could go back to Jane

could go back to Jane

could go back to Jane 1994 and relived my entire career all

1994 and relived my entire career all

1994 and relived my entire career all over again and unfortunately and despite

over again and unfortunately and despite

over again and unfortunately and despite having credible UN’s words on my

having credible UN’s words on my

having credible UN’s words on my fingertips for the better part of two

fingertips for the better part of two

fingertips for the better part of two decades I’m a little embarrassed to say

decades I’m a little embarrassed to say

decades I’m a little embarrassed to say – far too much resembles his for I too

– far too much resembles his for I too

– far too much resembles his for I too would have tried a lot harder to get

would have tried a lot harder to get

would have tried a lot harder to get home from work every day at a reasonable

home from work every day at a reasonable

home from work every day at a reasonable hour so as not to miss as many important

hour so as not to miss as many important

hour so as not to miss as many important family events as I did baseball games

family events as I did baseball games

family events as I did baseball games after school plays parent-teacher

after school plays parent-teacher

after school plays parent-teacher conferences birthday celebrations even

conferences birthday celebrations even

conferences birthday celebrations even family vacations I had one point or

family vacations I had one point or

family vacations I had one point or another in my career I had missed them

another in my career I had missed them

another in my career I had missed them all and sometimes I was unavoidable and

all and sometimes I was unavoidable and

all and sometimes I was unavoidable and I’m certainly not saying everyone should

I’m certainly not saying everyone should

I’m certainly not saying everyone should blow off work at every opportunity but I

blow off work at every opportunity but I

blow off work at every opportunity but I will tell you the assurance I’m stating

will tell you the assurance I’m stating

will tell you the assurance I’m stating here more often than not I simply

here more often than not I simply

here more often than not I simply thought I was doing what was expected of

thought I was doing what was expected of

thought I was doing what was expected of me I thought I was exhibiting service

me I thought I was exhibiting service

me I thought I was exhibiting service before self when the fact is I was

before self when the fact is I was

before self when the fact is I was failing time and time again to

failing time and time again to

failing time and time again to understand appreciate and apply the

understand appreciate and apply the

understand appreciate and apply the difference between that which is

difference between that which is

difference between that which is important and that which is urgently

important and that which is urgently

important and that which is urgently around the same time that I rediscovered

around the same time that I rediscovered

around the same time that I rediscovered this article my family and I created a

this article my family and I created a

this article my family and I created a memory that I will never forget our

memory that I will never forget our

memory that I will never forget our youngest child my daughter started

youngest child my daughter started

youngest child my daughter started college not far from here and in the

college not far from here and in the

college not far from here and in the days leading up to her first day of

days leading up to her first day of

days leading up to her first day of school she became increasingly nervous

school she became increasingly nervous

school she became increasingly nervous and that’s understandable this is a big

and that’s understandable this is a big

and that’s understandable this is a big change in her life and we were all very

change in her life and we were all very

change in her life and we were all very excited when we found out she bring two

excited when we found out she bring two

excited when we found out she bring two guests with her to her orientation that

guests with her to her orientation that

guests with her to her orientation that first week my wife and I were

first week my wife and I were

first week my wife and I were particularly excited to be there to

particularly excited to be there to

particularly excited to be there to support her and help her get registered

support her and help her get registered

support her and help her get registered for classes learning her way around the

for classes learning her way around the

for classes learning her way around the campus and kind of get set

campus and kind of get set

campus and kind of get set into a routine we all had our matching

into a routine we all had our matching

into a routine we all had our matching sweatshirts it was perfect so here’s my

sweatshirts it was perfect so here’s my

sweatshirts it was perfect so here’s my memories from that day I received it via

memories from that day I received it via

memories from that day I received it via text message while sitting in a staff

text message while sitting in a staff

text message while sitting in a staff meeting with the caption I love you dad

meeting with the caption I love you dad

meeting with the caption I love you dad wish you were here now with that staff

wish you were here now with that staff

wish you were here now with that staff meeting important sure it was it my

meeting important sure it was it my

meeting important sure it was it my presence there change the outcome or

presence there change the outcome or

presence there change the outcome or inform any major decision that was made

inform any major decision that was made

inform any major decision that was made I’m equally certain that within the case

if I could go back to the beginning to

if I could go back to the beginning to do things differently I would also on

do things differently I would also on

do things differently I would also on those days where I did tear myself away

those days where I did tear myself away

those days where I did tear myself away from the office I would have left work

from the office I would have left work

from the office I would have left work at work I can’t tell you how many times

at work I can’t tell you how many times

at work I can’t tell you how many times I allow built up frustrations distract

I allow built up frustrations distract

I allow built up frustrations distract from our otherwise room which should

from our otherwise room which should

from our otherwise room which should have been enjoyable times with my family

if I could do it all over again I would

if I could do it all over again I would be more forgiving and understanding of

be more forgiving and understanding of

be more forgiving and understanding of those closest to me it is equally

those closest to me it is equally

those closest to me it is equally incomprehensible and indefensible that I

incomprehensible and indefensible that I

incomprehensible and indefensible that I could so easily and so regularly except

could so easily and so regularly except

could so easily and so regularly except minor mistakes inconveniences

minor mistakes inconveniences

minor mistakes inconveniences last-minute changes and perceived

last-minute changes and perceived

last-minute changes and perceived slights from those who work for me and

slights from those who work for me and

slights from those who work for me and those who work with me the time and time

those who work with me the time and time

those who work with me the time and time again failed so miserably to do it when

again failed so miserably to do it when

again failed so miserably to do it when it applied to those who loved and

it applied to those who loved and

it applied to those who loved and supported me the most if I could go back

supported me the most if I could go back

supported me the most if I could go back and do it all over again I would make

and do it all over again I would make

and do it all over again I would make better use of the leave afforded me and

better use of the leave afforded me and

better use of the leave afforded me and take my family back home to visit the

take my family back home to visit the

take my family back home to visit the grandparents aunts and uncles and

grandparents aunts and uncles and

grandparents aunts and uncles and cousins way more often I’ve been in the

cousins way more often I’ve been in the

cousins way more often I’ve been in the Air Force for 24 years and for 21 of

Air Force for 24 years and for 21 of

Air Force for 24 years and for 21 of those years I’ve been in a user loose

those years I’ve been in a user loose

those years I’ve been in a user loose status as pertains to lead

status as pertains to lead

status as pertains to lead from my fourth year to my tenth year I

from my fourth year to my tenth year I

from my fourth year to my tenth year I lost believe almost every single year

lost believe almost every single year

lost believe almost every single year and on the right around that time that

and on the right around that time that

and on the right around that time that the air force started cracking down on

the air force started cracking down on

the air force started cracking down on folks losing lead and then from that

folks losing lead and then from that

folks losing lead and then from that point on I would wait until every

point on I would wait until every

point on I would wait until every September rolls around hastily schedule

September rolls around hastily schedule

September rolls around hastily schedule leaves often at the most inconvenient

leaves often at the most inconvenient

leaves often at the most inconvenient times just to avoid losing it and more

times just to avoid losing it and more

times just to avoid losing it and more often than not I would come in on those

often than not I would come in on those

often than not I would come in on those days to leave anyway or I’d simply burn

days to leave anyway or I’d simply burn

days to leave anyway or I’d simply burn the leave on weekends or holidays days

the leave on weekends or holidays days

the leave on weekends or holidays days or that would have been off anyway if I

or that would have been off anyway if I

or that would have been off anyway if I could go back and do it all over again

could go back and do it all over again

could go back and do it all over again I wouldn’t have made my wife wait 20

I wouldn’t have made my wife wait 20

I wouldn’t have made my wife wait 20 years for me to take her to ballroom

years for me to take her to ballroom

years for me to take her to ballroom dance lessons quite literally for 20

dance lessons quite literally for 20

dance lessons quite literally for 20 years she asked me each and every year

years she asked me each and every year

years she asked me each and every year to take their ballroom dance lessons and

to take their ballroom dance lessons and

to take their ballroom dance lessons and for 20 years I’ve a tendencies and for

for 20 years I’ve a tendencies and for

for 20 years I’ve a tendencies and for 20 years she pretended to understand so

20 years she pretended to understand so

20 years she pretended to understand so this is the same woman who for a quarter

this is the same woman who for a quarter

this is the same woman who for a quarter century has followed me around the world

century has followed me around the world

century has followed me around the world left jobs that she loved left behind

left jobs that she loved left behind

left jobs that she loved left behind friends that she’ll likely never see

friends that she’ll likely never see

friends that she’ll likely never see again and home said she poured her heart

again and home said she poured her heart

again and home said she poured her heart and soul into great for us and all she

and soul into great for us and all she

and soul into great for us and all she wanted to do is go dancing eventually I

wanted to do is go dancing eventually I

wanted to do is go dancing eventually I relented who knew I would have liked

relented who knew I would have liked

relented who knew I would have liked this so much little gnome be so darn

this so much little gnome be so darn

this so much little gnome be so darn good at it

nowadays I actually have to drag her out

nowadays I actually have to drag her out on weekends to go dancing the last thing

on weekends to go dancing the last thing

on weekends to go dancing the last thing I would do if I could go back if you all

I would do if I could go back if you all

I would do if I could go back if you all do it all over again is I would ask for

do it all over again is I would ask for

do it all over again is I would ask for help when I needed it our middle child

help when I needed it our middle child

help when I needed it our middle child my son has been dealing with severe

my son has been dealing with severe

my son has been dealing with severe mental health illness most of his life

mental health illness most of his life

mental health illness most of his life from the time he was 12 to this very day

from the time he was 12 to this very day

from the time he was 12 to this very day he’s 24 now he’s been in and out of

he’s 24 now he’s been in and out of

he’s 24 now he’s been in and out of mental health treatment facilities often

mental health treatment facilities often

mental health treatment facilities often for months if not years at a time

his condition manifested itself in many

his condition manifested itself in many ways to include self-harm and mutilation

ways to include self-harm and mutilation

ways to include self-harm and mutilation multiple suicide attempts self

multiple suicide attempts self

multiple suicide attempts self medication with alcohol and even drugs

medication with alcohol and even drugs

medication with alcohol and even drugs at its worst what he was going through

at its worst what he was going through

at its worst what he was going through jeopardized my marriage our family and

jeopardized my marriage our family and

jeopardized my marriage our family and most certainly his life now those are

most certainly his life now those are

most certainly his life now those are words said until this very day I’ve

words said until this very day I’ve

words said until this very day I’ve never spoken out loud before never told

never spoken out loud before never told

never spoken out loud before never told a boss never a friend or wingman never a

a boss never a friend or wingman never a

a boss never a friend or wingman never a chaplain or a counselor like others who

chaplain or a counselor like others who

chaplain or a counselor like others who are self-absorbed

are self-absorbed

are self-absorbed I made this situation about meaning I

I made this situation about meaning I

I made this situation about meaning I eternal eyes how of me how it would make

eternal eyes how of me how it would make

eternal eyes how of me how it would make me look as a parent or god forbid as an

me look as a parent or god forbid as an

me look as a parent or god forbid as an officer or a commander we talk a lot in

officer or a commander we talk a lot in

officer or a commander we talk a lot in the Air Force about comprehensive airman

the Air Force about comprehensive airman

the Air Force about comprehensive airman fitness about taking care of ourselves

fitness about taking care of ourselves

fitness about taking care of ourselves physically mentally spiritually

physically mentally spiritually

physically mentally spiritually emotionally if I could go back and do it

emotionally if I could go back and do it

emotionally if I could go back and do it all over again I would practice what

all over again I would practice what

all over again I would practice what I’ve so often preached the sacrifices

I’ve so often preached the sacrifices

I’ve so often preached the sacrifices had come with military service are many

had come with military service are many

had come with military service are many and they are great and they are shared

and they are great and they are shared

and they are great and they are shared equally by all members of the military

equally by all members of the military

equally by all members of the military family unfortunately for my family they

family unfortunately for my family they

family unfortunately for my family they kind of show they’re much more that

kind of show they’re much more that

kind of show they’re much more that burdened than they otherwise should have

service before self is one of our core

service before self is one of our core values and it means a great deal to me

values and it means a great deal to me

values and it means a great deal to me it means never allowing personal desires

it means never allowing personal desires

it means never allowing personal desires or wants or conveniences to come before

or wants or conveniences to come before

or wants or conveniences to come before the needs of the mission or to come

the needs of the mission or to come

the needs of the mission or to come before the needs of those who are under

before the needs of those who are under

before the needs of those who are under our charge but it does not mean for

our charge but it does not mean for

our charge but it does not mean for safety our responsibilities as parents

safety our responsibilities as parents

safety our responsibilities as parents as sons and daughters as brothers and

as sons and daughters as brothers and

as sons and daughters as brothers and sisters as friends and as contributing

sisters as friends and as contributing

sisters as friends and as contributing members of society

Colonel bloom said it should be each and

Colonel bloom said it should be each and every one of our goals to run out of

every one of our goals to run out of

every one of our goals to run out of career before we run out of family and

career before we run out of family and

career before we run out of family and based on where I’m at today

based on where I’m at today

based on where I’m at today I just might achieve that goal though it

I just might achieve that goal though it

I just might achieve that goal though it will be despite my best efforts to the

will be despite my best efforts to the

will be despite my best efforts to the contrary so I will leave you with this

go put in your leave request leave your

go put in your leave request leave your work at work surround yourself with

work at work surround yourself with

work at work surround yourself with friends and family maybe take a trip

friends and family maybe take a trip

friends and family maybe take a trip back home or just go dancing whatever

back home or just go dancing whatever

back home or just go dancing whatever you do don’t wait until September to do

you do don’t wait until September to do

you do don’t wait until September to do it thank you very much

it thank you very much

it thank you very much [Applause]

”

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