[Applause] as the society we have got a confusing
as the society we have got a confusing
as the society we have got a confusing relationship with the idea of rebels and
relationship with the idea of rebels and
relationship with the idea of rebels and rebellion so close to home if we have a
rebellion so close to home if we have a
rebellion so close to home if we have a rebel sitting in front of us in our
rebel sitting in front of us in our
rebel sitting in front of us in our living room I think it’s probably fair
living room I think it’s probably fair
living room I think it’s probably fair to say that we struggle we find it
to say that we struggle we find it
to say that we struggle we find it challenging and yet we love stories
challenging and yet we love stories
challenging and yet we love stories about rebels we love their conviction
about rebels we love their conviction
about rebels we love their conviction will have their courage we love how
will have their courage we love how
will have their courage we love how they’re so willing to stand firm and
they’re so willing to stand firm and
they’re so willing to stand firm and strong and steadfast in the face of so
strong and steadfast in the face of so
strong and steadfast in the face of so much opposition you know the whole world
much opposition you know the whole world
much opposition you know the whole world can be against and their communities can
can be against and their communities can
can be against and their communities can turn against them their friends can
turn against them their friends can
turn against them their friends can desert them even families can turn
desert them even families can turn
desert them even families can turn against these rebels and yet they stand
against these rebels and yet they stand
against these rebels and yet they stand firm unflinching unmoving and they’re
firm unflinching unmoving and they’re
firm unflinching unmoving and they’re doing credible things I think that we
doing credible things I think that we
doing credible things I think that we love the idea of rebels so much because
love the idea of rebels so much because
love the idea of rebels so much because sometimes we’ve heard the end from the
sometimes we’ve heard the end from the
sometimes we’ve heard the end from the beginning
beginning
beginning we know how it turns out and so we know
we know how it turns out and so we know
we know how it turns out and so we know we can love them because of what they
we can love them because of what they
we can love them because of what they did going through it might have been
did going through it might have been
did going through it might have been different but you know we make movies
different but you know we make movies
different but you know we make movies about rebels we write books about rebels
about rebels we write books about rebels
about rebels we write books about rebels and their stories become part of
and their stories become part of
and their stories become part of folklore well my wife and I are the
folklore well my wife and I are the
folklore well my wife and I are the parents of six children I know I get
parents of six children I know I get
parents of six children I know I get that response to lightest 2017 we have
that response to lightest 2017 we have
that response to lightest 2017 we have six kids I look like a rebel don’t I by
six kids I look like a rebel don’t I by
six kids I look like a rebel don’t I by when I walked out you thought yeah rebel
when I walked out you thought yeah rebel
when I walked out you thought yeah rebel he looks like trouble and if you if you
he looks like trouble and if you if you
he looks like trouble and if you if you pay attention you’ll note that those six
pay attention you’ll note that those six
pay attention you’ll note that those six children are all girls
children are all girls
children are all girls I know yeah not sure how we did that but
I know yeah not sure how we did that but
I know yeah not sure how we did that but we’re delighted and we are absolutely
we’re delighted and we are absolutely
we’re delighted and we are absolutely crazy about them like most parents
crazy about them like most parents
crazy about them like most parents usually usually are about their children
usually usually are about their children
usually usually are about their children because we have six daughters we
because we have six daughters we
because we have six daughters we recently bought a book that’s been quite
recently bought a book that’s been quite
recently bought a book that’s been quite popular lately about raising rebel girls
popular lately about raising rebel girls
popular lately about raising rebel girls because we want our girls to be who they
because we want our girls to be who they
because we want our girls to be who they want to be to be what they want to be
want to be to be what they want to be
want to be to be what they want to be but from time to time we find ourselves
but from time to time we find ourselves
but from time to time we find ourselves in that same conflicted position when
in that same conflicted position when
in that same conflicted position when we’re sitting in our living room
we’re sitting in our living room
we’re sitting in our living room opposite a living breathing rebel
opposite a living breathing rebel
opposite a living breathing rebel sitting on the couch opposite us
sitting on the couch opposite us
sitting on the couch opposite us thinking for herself independently and
thinking for herself independently and
thinking for herself independently and we have three teenagers right now and
we have three teenagers right now and
we have three teenagers right now and another three to come so in spite of
another three to come so in spite of
another three to come so in spite of that conflict and challenge the idea
that conflict and challenge the idea
that conflict and challenge the idea that I really want to live with you
that I really want to live with you
that I really want to live with you today is this we need more rebels
today is this we need more rebels
today is this we need more rebels we need to raise more children who are
we need to raise more children who are
we need to raise more children who are willing to think for themselves rather
willing to think for themselves rather
willing to think for themselves rather than bowing down to the God of popular
than bowing down to the God of popular
than bowing down to the God of popular opinion and getting swept up in that
opinion and getting swept up in that
opinion and getting swept up in that current that sweeps them and all of
current that sweeps them and all of
current that sweeps them and all of their friends down the path of least
their friends down the path of least
their friends down the path of least resistance now in in the interest of
resistance now in in the interest of
resistance now in in the interest of empathy I know that some of you in this
empathy I know that some of you in this
empathy I know that some of you in this room have children who have rebelled and
room have children who have rebelled and
room have children who have rebelled and and it has not given you cause to
and it has not given you cause to
and it has not given you cause to celebrate rather your hearts have broken
celebrate rather your hearts have broken
celebrate rather your hearts have broken you’ve lost sleep and going through
you’ve lost sleep and going through
you’ve lost sleep and going through torment and challenging pain so I want
torment and challenging pain so I want
torment and challenging pain so I want to describe exactly what I mean when I
to describe exactly what I mean when I
to describe exactly what I mean when I say we need to raise more rebels because
say we need to raise more rebels because
say we need to raise more rebels because there are two kinds of rebels there is
there are two kinds of rebels there is
there are two kinds of rebels there is the reflexive rebel now this is the
the reflexive rebel now this is the
the reflexive rebel now this is the typical teenage rebel without a cause
typical teenage rebel without a cause
typical teenage rebel without a cause this is what most of us have been at
this is what most of us have been at
this is what most of us have been at some point in our lives of course most
some point in our lives of course most
some point in our lives of course most of us would just that for a very short
of us would just that for a very short
of us would just that for a very short period of her lives but this is the you
period of her lives but this is the you
period of her lives but this is the you can’t tell me what to do it’s my life
can’t tell me what to do it’s my life
can’t tell me what to do it’s my life I’ll do what I want kind of rebel this
I’ll do what I want kind of rebel this
I’ll do what I want kind of rebel this is the it doesn’t matter what you say I
is the it doesn’t matter what you say I
is the it doesn’t matter what you say I insist on my right to run my knuckles
insist on my right to run my knuckles
insist on my right to run my knuckles down the cheese grater about all life
down the cheese grater about all life
down the cheese grater about all life kind of rebel and and and I don’t know
kind of rebel and and and I don’t know
kind of rebel and and and I don’t know if you’ve noticed this but when our
if you’ve noticed this but when our
if you’ve noticed this but when our children start to reflexively rebel what
children start to reflexively rebel what
children start to reflexively rebel what do we do we’ve become more controlling
do we do we’ve become more controlling
do we do we’ve become more controlling we say no no no I’m in charge here and
we say no no no I’m in charge here and
we say no no no I’m in charge here and our force creates resistance our
our force creates resistance our
our force creates resistance our authoritarian ism actually creates
authoritarian ism actually creates
authoritarian ism actually creates reflexive rebellion and in some cases
reflexive rebellion and in some cases
reflexive rebellion and in some cases the cheese grater isn’t enough and they
the cheese grater isn’t enough and they
the cheese grater isn’t enough and they start sprinting for the airplane
start sprinting for the airplane
start sprinting for the airplane propeller of the adult world and what
propeller of the adult world and what
propeller of the adult world and what happens is we create this foundation of
happens is we create this foundation of
happens is we create this foundation of ruptured relationships and a mutual lack
ruptured relationships and a mutual lack
ruptured relationships and a mutual lack of respect there’s just this focus on
of respect there’s just this focus on
of respect there’s just this focus on self rather than other and there’s an
self rather than other and there’s an
self rather than other and there’s an awful lot of anger and pain for us as
awful lot of anger and pain for us as
awful lot of anger and pain for us as parents and for our children now we
parents and for our children now we
parents and for our children now we could talk about reflexive rebels for a
could talk about reflexive rebels for a
could talk about reflexive rebels for a long time but I want to talk about the
long time but I want to talk about the
long time but I want to talk about the second kind of rebel that is much more
second kind of rebel that is much more
second kind of rebel that is much more interesting to me and much more unusual
interesting to me and much more unusual
interesting to me and much more unusual and that’s what I call the reflective
and that’s what I call the reflective
and that’s what I call the reflective rebel a reflective rebel is what I think
rebel a reflective rebel is what I think
rebel a reflective rebel is what I think that we need to be encouraging our
that we need to be encouraging our
that we need to be encouraging our children to be I understand the irony by
children to be I understand the irony by
children to be I understand the irony by the
the
the Way of saying well this is how you’re
Way of saying well this is how you’re
Way of saying well this is how you’re going to rebel because if you tell a
going to rebel because if you tell a
going to rebel because if you tell a rebel how to rebuild they’ll of course
rebel how to rebuild they’ll of course
rebel how to rebuild they’ll of course go exactly the opposite way because
go exactly the opposite way because
go exactly the opposite way because force creates resistance but a
force creates resistance but a
force creates resistance but a reflective rebel thinks for themselves
reflective rebel thinks for themselves
reflective rebel thinks for themselves independently they think wisely it’s
independently they think wisely it’s
independently they think wisely it’s it’s almost like they don’t get caught
it’s almost like they don’t get caught
it’s almost like they don’t get caught up in the anger that a reflexive rebel
up in the anger that a reflexive rebel
up in the anger that a reflexive rebel possesses that leads to unwise unhelpful
possesses that leads to unwise unhelpful
possesses that leads to unwise unhelpful thinking the late author home you’re not
thinking the late author home you’re not
thinking the late author home you’re not described raising children who are
described raising children who are
described raising children who are strong and caring strong independent
strong and caring strong independent
strong and caring strong independent willing to think for themselves but
willing to think for themselves but
willing to think for themselves but caring they have that empathy so that
caring they have that empathy so that
caring they have that empathy so that their strength and independence doesn’t
their strength and independence doesn’t
their strength and independence doesn’t override and trample on others in fact a
override and trample on others in fact a
override and trample on others in fact a reflective rebel chafes and bristles
reflective rebel chafes and bristles
reflective rebel chafes and bristles when they sense inequality or
when they sense inequality or
when they sense inequality or intolerance or unkindness or unfairness
intolerance or unkindness or unfairness
intolerance or unkindness or unfairness but instead of saying well let’s torch
but instead of saying well let’s torch
but instead of saying well let’s torch the house and going off half-cocked they
the house and going off half-cocked they
the house and going off half-cocked they pause they strategize they plan for how
pause they strategize they plan for how
pause they strategize they plan for how they might make change the last for more
they might make change the last for more
they might make change the last for more than just a moment and then they grab
than just a moment and then they grab
than just a moment and then they grab the sledgehammer and they start knocking
the sledgehammer and they start knocking
the sledgehammer and they start knocking out walls and building new rooms to make
out walls and building new rooms to make
out walls and building new rooms to make the house bigger and better for
the house bigger and better for
the house bigger and better for everybody so today I want to share with
everybody so today I want to share with
everybody so today I want to share with you a story about a reflective rebel
you a story about a reflective rebel
you a story about a reflective rebel before I share the story I need to make
before I share the story I need to make
before I share the story I need to make a confession
a confession
a confession I created this reflective rebel by doing
I created this reflective rebel by doing
I created this reflective rebel by doing something that in hindsight I shouldn’t
something that in hindsight I shouldn’t
something that in hindsight I shouldn’t have done so three things before we dive
have done so three things before we dive
have done so three things before we dive into the story number one I shouldn’t
into the story number one I shouldn’t
into the story number one I shouldn’t have done what I did number two I’ve
have done what I did number two I’ve
have done what I did number two I’ve learned from it and I’ll never do it
learned from it and I’ll never do it
learned from it and I’ll never do it again and number three I just know that
again and number three I just know that
again and number three I just know that somebody’s gonna hear this story and say
somebody’s gonna hear this story and say
somebody’s gonna hear this story and say now there’s an idea don’t do it it’s
now there’s an idea don’t do it it’s
now there’s an idea don’t do it it’s unethical and I made a mistake please
unethical and I made a mistake please
unethical and I made a mistake please learn from my mistake inand just don’t
learn from my mistake inand just don’t
learn from my mistake inand just don’t go there so nowadays I I mainly give
go there so nowadays I I mainly give
go there so nowadays I I mainly give talks for living in write books and I
talks for living in write books and I
talks for living in write books and I speak to adults about well-being and
speak to adults about well-being and
speak to adults about well-being and relationships and parenting but some
relationships and parenting but some
relationships and parenting but some years ago I used to give talks to a lot
years ago I used to give talks to a lot
years ago I used to give talks to a lot of kids and an organization contacted me
of kids and an organization contacted me
of kids and an organization contacted me one day and they said hey we want you to
one day and they said hey we want you to
one day and they said hey we want you to come in and do a day’s worth of speaking
come in and do a day’s worth of speaking
come in and do a day’s worth of speaking we’ve got about 1,200 kids we’re gonna
we’ve got about 1,200 kids we’re gonna
we’ve got about 1,200 kids we’re gonna divide them into six groups and we’ll
divide them into six groups and we’ll
divide them into six groups and we’ll send them to you 200 a time do one
send them to you 200 a time do one
send them to you 200 a time do one session six times with each group
session six times with each group
session six times with each group they’re all aged between 14 and 18
they’re all aged between 14 and 18
they’re all aged between 14 and 18 here’s the brief
here’s the brief
here’s the brief helped them to make good decisions and
helped them to make good decisions and
helped them to make good decisions and stop bowing down to peer pressure easy
stop bowing down to peer pressure easy
stop bowing down to peer pressure easy no problem
no problem
no problem so as I was thinking about how to get 14
so as I was thinking about how to get 14
so as I was thinking about how to get 14 to 18 year olds to not be reflexive
to 18 year olds to not be reflexive
to 18 year olds to not be reflexive rebels to be reflective rebels and I
rebels to be reflective rebels and I
rebels to be reflective rebels and I remembered the Milgram experiment from
remembered the Milgram experiment from
remembered the Milgram experiment from the 1960s if you know the Milgram
the 1960s if you know the Milgram
the 1960s if you know the Milgram experiment you know why I’m saying don’t
experiment you know why I’m saying don’t
experiment you know why I’m saying don’t try this at home but if you don’t let me
try this at home but if you don’t let me
try this at home but if you don’t let me give you a quick bit of background
give you a quick bit of background
give you a quick bit of background Stanley Milgram did this experiment that
Stanley Milgram did this experiment that
Stanley Milgram did this experiment that has become a psychology classic and in
has become a psychology classic and in
has become a psychology classic and in the experiment he is the experimenter
the experiment he is the experimenter
the experiment he is the experimenter you walk in to participate in the
you walk in to participate in the
you walk in to participate in the experiment or I do people just like us
experiment or I do people just like us
experiment or I do people just like us and you meet the other participant in
and you meet the other participant in
and you meet the other participant in the experiment Milgram explains one of
the experiment Milgram explains one of
the experiment Milgram explains one of you will be the teacher the other will
you will be the teacher the other will
you will be the teacher the other will be the learner now we don’t have time to
be the learner now we don’t have time to
be the learner now we don’t have time to go into this in detail so I’ll explain
go into this in detail so I’ll explain
go into this in detail so I’ll explain it very briefly it’s rigged you are
it very briefly it’s rigged you are
it very briefly it’s rigged you are always going to be the teacher and the
always going to be the teacher and the
always going to be the teacher and the other person is always going to be the
other person is always going to be the
other person is always going to be the learner why because they’re friends
learner why because they’re friends
learner why because they’re friends he’s a Confederate it’s set up that way
he’s a Confederate it’s set up that way
he’s a Confederate it’s set up that way and essentially Milgram explains that
and essentially Milgram explains that
and essentially Milgram explains that this is a study of memory and learning
this is a study of memory and learning
this is a study of memory and learning and we want to see how punishment
and we want to see how punishment
and we want to see how punishment affects people’s memory and learning so
affects people’s memory and learning so
affects people’s memory and learning so you watch as the learner goes into
you watch as the learner goes into
you watch as the learner goes into another room and is strapped into an
another room and is strapped into an
another room and is strapped into an electric chair and then you sit down in
electric chair and then you sit down in
electric chair and then you sit down in front of a bench with a whole lot of
front of a bench with a whole lot of
front of a bench with a whole lot of buttons on it that represent the
buttons on it that represent the
buttons on it that represent the different voltage that you’re going to
different voltage that you’re going to
different voltage that you’re going to administer to the learner when they get
administer to the learner when they get
administer to the learner when they get your questions wrong you start
your questions wrong you start
your questions wrong you start administering the punishment the line
administering the punishment the line
administering the punishment the line starts protesting you say to Milgram we
starts protesting you say to Milgram we
starts protesting you say to Milgram we can’t do this and the experimenter says
can’t do this and the experimenter says
can’t do this and the experimenter says the experiment requires that you
the experiment requires that you
the experiment requires that you continue please continue about halfway
continue please continue about halfway
continue please continue about halfway through the protests are so loud that
through the protests are so loud that
through the protests are so loud that you beg to stop but he says please
you beg to stop but he says please
you beg to stop but he says please continue a short while later the person
continue a short while later the person
continue a short while later the person stops responding they’re unconscious or
stops responding they’re unconscious or
stops responding they’re unconscious or worse
worse
worse and yet Milgram found that even after
and yet Milgram found that even after
and yet Milgram found that even after that 65% of participants went all the
that 65% of participants went all the
that 65% of participants went all the way to the end even after there was no
way to the end even after there was no
way to the end even after there was no more response now obviously it would be
more response now obviously it would be
more response now obviously it would be unethical for me to give electric shocks
unethical for me to give electric shocks
unethical for me to give electric shocks to kids
I didn’t do that but I decided to run a
I didn’t do that but I decided to run a modified version of this experiment
modified version of this experiment
modified version of this experiment because it’s such a great object lesson
because it’s such a great object lesson
because it’s such a great object lesson I know I know I know so here’s what I
I know I know I know so here’s what I
I know I know I know so here’s what I did the first group of 200 kids came in
did the first group of 200 kids came in
did the first group of 200 kids came in and I called for two volunteers as they
and I called for two volunteers as they
and I called for two volunteers as they came forward I picked a couple at random
came forward I picked a couple at random
came forward I picked a couple at random they came for they stood there all
they came for they stood there all
they came for they stood there all excited because I love volunteering and
excited because I love volunteering and
excited because I love volunteering and you know they’re fun kids and I said to
you know they’re fun kids and I said to
you know they’re fun kids and I said to one of them you’re going to be the
one of them you’re going to be the
one of them you’re going to be the teacher
teacher
teacher here are five trivia questions you ask
here are five trivia questions you ask
here are five trivia questions you ask the learner these five trivia questions
the learner these five trivia questions
the learner these five trivia questions you’re going to be the learner
you’re going to be the learner
you’re going to be the learner here are some elastic bands put them
here are some elastic bands put them
here are some elastic bands put them around your wrist every time you get a
around your wrist every time you get a
around your wrist every time you get a question wrong you get this short sharp
question wrong you get this short sharp
question wrong you get this short sharp punishment for not knowing the answer
punishment for not knowing the answer
punishment for not knowing the answer five trivia questions five potential
five trivia questions five potential
five trivia questions five potential punishments make sense and the teacher
punishments make sense and the teacher
punishments make sense and the teacher is the one who’s administering the
is the one who’s administering the
is the one who’s administering the punishment much more ethical like I said
punishment much more ethical like I said
punishment much more ethical like I said never again anyway the first experiment
never again anyway the first experiment
never again anyway the first experiment went off without a hitch
went off without a hitch
went off without a hitch they just followed my instructions to
they just followed my instructions to
they just followed my instructions to the letter no questioning just did it
the letter no questioning just did it
the letter no questioning just did it second experiment likewise third group
second experiment likewise third group
second experiment likewise third group that came through and I’m starting to
that came through and I’m starting to
that came through and I’m starting to wonder if this is such a good idea
wonder if this is such a good idea
wonder if this is such a good idea the kids come forward that I’ve selected
the kids come forward that I’ve selected
the kids come forward that I’ve selected teacher learner and I said hello and the
teacher learner and I said hello and the
teacher learner and I said hello and the kid who’s the teacher is like six foot
kid who’s the teacher is like six foot
kid who’s the teacher is like six foot two and 120 kilos he’s huge and the
two and 120 kilos he’s huge and the
two and 120 kilos he’s huge and the learner is five foot nothing in 40 kilos
learner is five foot nothing in 40 kilos
learner is five foot nothing in 40 kilos she’s tiny he asked the first question
she’s tiny he asked the first question
she’s tiny he asked the first question she has no idea of the answer he reaches
she has no idea of the answer he reaches
she has no idea of the answer he reaches out he picks up her wrist
out he picks up her wrist
out he picks up her wrist he pulls these elastic bands back and
he pulls these elastic bands back and
he pulls these elastic bands back and just before he lets go he flinches cuz
just before he lets go he flinches cuz
just before he lets go he flinches cuz she knows what’s coming and in that
she knows what’s coming and in that
she knows what’s coming and in that instant he pauses and then ever so
instant he pauses and then ever so
instant he pauses and then ever so slowly
slowly
slowly he places the elastic bands gently on
he places the elastic bands gently on
he places the elastic bands gently on her wrist and he steps back and then he
her wrist and he steps back and then he
her wrist and he steps back and then he put his head down and quite humbly and
put his head down and quite humbly and
put his head down and quite humbly and out of this sort of out of the corner of
out of this sort of out of the corner of
out of this sort of out of the corner of his mouth he said I don’t want to do
his mouth he said I don’t want to do
his mouth he said I don’t want to do that it doesn’t seem right I know her is
that it doesn’t seem right I know her is
that it doesn’t seem right I know her is thought I was thinking yes
thought I was thinking yes
thought I was thinking yes but of course I couldn’t say that so I
but of course I couldn’t say that so I
but of course I couldn’t say that so I channeled my inner Milgram and I said
channeled my inner Milgram and I said
channeled my inner Milgram and I said the experiment requires that you
the experiment requires that you
the experiment requires that you continue please go on talk about
continue please go on talk about
continue please go on talk about pressure and this kid he was amazing he
pressure and this kid he was amazing he
pressure and this kid he was amazing he had this inner wrestle for a moment and
had this inner wrestle for a moment and
had this inner wrestle for a moment and then he seemed to stand a little taller
then he seemed to stand a little taller
then he seemed to stand a little taller and he was already up there and he said
and he was already up there and he said
and he was already up there and he said no she just doesn’t know the answer why
no she just doesn’t know the answer why
no she just doesn’t know the answer why would I hurt her for it I wanted to hug
would I hurt her for it I wanted to hug
would I hurt her for it I wanted to hug you me but I couldn’t because that would
you me but I couldn’t because that would
you me but I couldn’t because that would blow the experiment and so I said look
blow the experiment and so I said look
blow the experiment and so I said look I’m with you for the next 60 minutes if
I’m with you for the next 60 minutes if
I’m with you for the next 60 minutes if you don’t do this I’ve got nothing to
you don’t do this I’ve got nothing to
you don’t do this I’ve got nothing to say to you all these 200 people we need
say to you all these 200 people we need
say to you all these 200 people we need you to do this please the experiment
you to do this please the experiment
you to do this please the experiment requires that you continue please
requires that you continue please
requires that you continue please continue and as I said it the crowd
continue and as I said it the crowd
continue and as I said it the crowd started to jeer
started to jeer
started to jeer some of the kids said I said come on man
some of the kids said I said come on man
some of the kids said I said come on man just do it you’re wrecking everything
just do it you’re wrecking everything
just do it you’re wrecking everything stop messing it up just do it a couple
stop messing it up just do it a couple
stop messing it up just do it a couple of kids like I’ll do it know who sure
of kids like I’ll do it know who sure
of kids like I’ll do it know who sure don’t and then he began to walk to his
don’t and then he began to walk to his
don’t and then he began to walk to his chair now I convinced him to come back
chair now I convinced him to come back
chair now I convinced him to come back he didn’t want to I I said come back and
he didn’t want to I I said come back and
he didn’t want to I I said come back and as we need to talk about this I asked
as we need to talk about this I asked
as we need to talk about this I asked the entire crowd to please give him a
the entire crowd to please give him a
the entire crowd to please give him a round of applause I said what what has
round of applause I said what what has
round of applause I said what what has just happened is special and it’s
just happened is special and it’s
just happened is special and it’s unusual
unusual
unusual his name was tank him he was like 14 or
his name was tank him he was like 14 or
his name was tank him he was like 14 or 15 years old and what he displayed that
15 years old and what he displayed that
15 years old and what he displayed that day was what I call reflective rebellion
day was what I call reflective rebellion
day was what I call reflective rebellion he was willing to stand firm and
he was willing to stand firm and
he was willing to stand firm and resolute in what he knew was right even
resolute in what he knew was right even
resolute in what he knew was right even though no one else was with him it was
though no one else was with him it was
though no one else was with him it was exceptional I think that what yankem
exceptional I think that what yankem
exceptional I think that what yankem demonstrated is the end game for all of
demonstrated is the end game for all of
demonstrated is the end game for all of us and for our children and if we don’t
us and for our children and if we don’t
us and for our children and if we don’t have kids the young people that we work
have kids the young people that we work
have kids the young people that we work with or that we teach or the related to
with or that we teach or the related to
with or that we teach or the related to us for them to understand what Augustine
us for them to understand what Augustine
us for them to understand what Augustine of Hippo meant when he said right is
of Hippo meant when he said right is
of Hippo meant when he said right is right even if no one is doing it wrong
right even if no one is doing it wrong
right even if no one is doing it wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it I
don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not
don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not but most people say well I want to raise
but most people say well I want to raise
but most people say well I want to raise children who are strong and independent
children who are strong and independent
children who are strong and independent and caring and courageous and yet how
and caring and courageous and yet how
and caring and courageous and yet how many of us and it doesn’t just
many of us and it doesn’t just
many of us and it doesn’t just to happen in our homes by the way this
to happen in our homes by the way this
to happen in our homes by the way this can happen at work and it doesn’t even
can happen at work and it doesn’t even
can happen at work and it doesn’t even have to be with kids it can be with
have to be with kids it can be with
have to be with kids it can be with adults or in our classrooms how many of
adults or in our classrooms how many of
adults or in our classrooms how many of us use phrases like just do as I say
us use phrases like just do as I say
us use phrases like just do as I say because they’re the rules that’s why
because they’re the rules that’s why
because they’re the rules that’s why because that’s the company policy we’ve
because that’s the company policy we’ve
because that’s the company policy we’ve just that’s what we do because that’s
just that’s what we do because that’s
just that’s what we do because that’s how we do it in this school in this
how we do it in this school in this
how we do it in this school in this classroom in our home because I said so
classroom in our home because I said so
classroom in our home because I said so you see we say that we want to raise
you see we say that we want to raise
you see we say that we want to raise independent thinkers but what we really
independent thinkers but what we really
independent thinkers but what we really want to raise is conformists because
want to raise is conformists because
want to raise is conformists because independence is inconvenient data from
independence is inconvenient data from
independence is inconvenient data from around the world tells us that from
around the world tells us that from
around the world tells us that from toddlers to teens and even for adults we
toddlers to teens and even for adults we
toddlers to teens and even for adults we create reflective Rebels not by force
create reflective Rebels not by force
create reflective Rebels not by force because force creates resistance rather
because force creates resistance rather
because force creates resistance rather we create reflective rebels by giving
we create reflective rebels by giving
we create reflective rebels by giving people space to think to work things out
people space to think to work things out
people space to think to work things out I asked one dad how did you create your
I asked one dad how did you create your
I asked one dad how did you create your reflective rebels he was amazing he said
reflective rebels he was amazing he said
reflective rebels he was amazing he said I give my kids hypotheticals we’ll be in
I give my kids hypotheticals we’ll be in
I give my kids hypotheticals we’ll be in the car I’ll say well what do you think
the car I’ll say well what do you think
the car I’ll say well what do you think about this what what would you do if you
about this what what would you do if you
about this what what would you do if you were in that situation how would you
were in that situation how would you
were in that situation how would you respond what about if it was like this
respond what about if it was like this
respond what about if it was like this and then he shared with me ideas about
and then he shared with me ideas about
and then he shared with me ideas about what his kids had done reflectively as a
what his kids had done reflectively as a
what his kids had done reflectively as a result you see when we use phrases like
result you see when we use phrases like
result you see when we use phrases like this what we’re essentially saying is
this what we’re essentially saying is
this what we’re essentially saying is I’ll only love you or if it’s not at
I’ll only love you or if it’s not at
I’ll only love you or if it’s not at home
home
home I’ll only treat you well when you behave
I’ll only treat you well when you behave
I’ll only treat you well when you behave the way that I want you to it’s the
the way that I want you to it’s the
the way that I want you to it’s the essence of conditionality and it doesn’t
essence of conditionality and it doesn’t
essence of conditionality and it doesn’t create the reflective rebellion the
create the reflective rebellion the
create the reflective rebellion the independent for the strong caring
independent for the strong caring
independent for the strong caring individuals that matter most well we
individuals that matter most well we
individuals that matter most well we should finish the story of Tianjin
should finish the story of Tianjin
should finish the story of Tianjin because more happened that day Iran the
because more happened that day Iran the
because more happened that day Iran the session three more times two volunteers
session three more times two volunteers
session three more times two volunteers came up they followed the script
came up they followed the script
came up they followed the script perfectly no one question and nobody
perfectly no one question and nobody
perfectly no one question and nobody rebelled they just heard each other
rebelled they just heard each other
rebelled they just heard each other quite willingly but at the end of the
quite willingly but at the end of the
quite willingly but at the end of the final session of the day as everybody
final session of the day as everybody
final session of the day as everybody was walking out of the room this one
was walking out of the room this one
was walking out of the room this one young man came up to me he was about 17
young man came up to me he was about 17
young man came up to me he was about 17 or 18 he was a little bit bigger than
or 18 he was a little bit bigger than
or 18 he was a little bit bigger than tea on him he looks just like him and he
tea on him he looks just like him and he
tea on him he looks just like him and he started asking me questions about 10
started asking me questions about 10
started asking me questions about 10 come on like man how many kids do you
come on like man how many kids do you
come on like man how many kids do you know called yankem it’s not a common
know called yankem it’s not a common
know called yankem it’s not a common name he said that’s my little brother I
name he said that’s my little brother I
name he said that’s my little brother I can’t wait to go home and
can’t wait to go home and
can’t wait to go home and my parents what my little brother did
my parents what my little brother did
my parents what my little brother did today
we gulp and quiver at the idea of
we gulp and quiver at the idea of raising a rebel in our living room
raising a rebel in our living room
raising a rebel in our living room but what parent wouldn’t want that for
but what parent wouldn’t want that for
but what parent wouldn’t want that for their children to raise children who are
their children to raise children who are
their children to raise children who are strong and caring and reflective and who
strong and caring and reflective and who
strong and caring and reflective and who are willing to think about others and do
are willing to think about others and do
are willing to think about others and do what they know is right I can’t help but
what they know is right I can’t help but
what they know is right I can’t help but think that that night tiang comes
think that that night tiang comes
think that that night tiang comes parents celebrated their courageous
parents celebrated their courageous
parents celebrated their courageous strong independent reflective rebel
strong independent reflective rebel
strong independent reflective rebel sitting right there opposite them on a
sitting right there opposite them on a
sitting right there opposite them on a lounge chair in their living room thank
lounge chair in their living room thank
lounge chair in their living room thank you
you
you [Applause]
”
Be First to Comment