so let’s talk about sex actually let’s talk about sex education which is just
talk about sex education which is just
talk about sex education which is just as fun if I think about one of my
as fun if I think about one of my
as fun if I think about one of my earliest memories about sex education it
earliest memories about sex education it
earliest memories about sex education it was in the 5th grade the teachers are
was in the 5th grade the teachers are
was in the 5th grade the teachers are really nervous they broke us up into
really nervous they broke us up into
really nervous they broke us up into boys and girls and as boy I was put in
boys and girls and as boy I was put in
boys and girls and as boy I was put in one room we watched a really poorly
one room we watched a really poorly
one room we watched a really poorly animated video about puberty and wet
animated video about puberty and wet
animated video about puberty and wet dreams and then we got a travel-size
dreams and then we got a travel-size
dreams and then we got a travel-size deodorant and were sent back to class
all I remember is being jealous why was
all I remember is being jealous why was i jealous because the girls got a paper
i jealous because the girls got a paper
i jealous because the girls got a paper bag of goodies now I had no idea what
bag of goodies now I had no idea what
bag of goodies now I had no idea what they had turns out it was deodorant a
they had turns out it was deodorant a
they had turns out it was deodorant a pad and a tampon I didn’t know what
pad and a tampon I didn’t know what
pad and a tampon I didn’t know what those were for cuz we didn’t learn but I
those were for cuz we didn’t learn but I
those were for cuz we didn’t learn but I was just jealous and confused and then
was just jealous and confused and then
was just jealous and confused and then just went back to class as a sex health
just went back to class as a sex health
just went back to class as a sex health educator now this is an experience I
educator now this is an experience I
educator now this is an experience I keep with me of what not to do that
keep with me of what not to do that
keep with me of what not to do that lesson that introduction to sex
lesson that introduction to sex
lesson that introduction to sex education was not inclusive at all they
education was not inclusive at all they
education was not inclusive at all they broke us up into binary genders we
broke us up into binary genders we
broke us up into binary genders we didn’t learn anything about other
didn’t learn anything about other
didn’t learn anything about other genders or other sexes and then there
genders or other sexes and then there
genders or other sexes and then there was no follow up we’ve got do during man
was no follow up we’ve got do during man
was no follow up we’ve got do during man and that’s something that I strive for I
and that’s something that I strive for I
and that’s something that I strive for I strive for inclusive queer inclusive
strive for inclusive queer inclusive
strive for inclusive queer inclusive trans inclusive sex education in my work
trans inclusive sex education in my work
trans inclusive sex education in my work one of the reasons that sex education is
one of the reasons that sex education is
one of the reasons that sex education is not inclusive though is an idea that I
not inclusive though is an idea that I
not inclusive though is an idea that I like to call compulsory Reaper sexuality
like to call compulsory Reaper sexuality
like to call compulsory Reaper sexuality that’s a big theory term but break it
that’s a big theory term but break it
that’s a big theory term but break it down for you compulsive is mandatory and
down for you compulsive is mandatory and
down for you compulsive is mandatory and Reaper sexuality reproduction basically
Reaper sexuality reproduction basically
Reaper sexuality reproduction basically it’s a cultural notion that we’re all
it’s a cultural notion that we’re all
it’s a cultural notion that we’re all expected to and or it’s the norm to
expected to and or it’s the norm to
expected to and or it’s the norm to reproduce so we all know this as a
reproduce so we all know this as a
reproduce so we all know this as a really common nursery rhyme
really common nursery rhyme
really common nursery rhyme first comes love then comes marriage
first comes love then comes marriage
first comes love then comes marriage then comes baby in the baby carriage
then comes baby in the baby carriage
then comes baby in the baby carriage that line of thought and that narrative
that line of thought and that narrative
that line of thought and that narrative is something that’s often used against
is something that’s often used against
is something that’s often used against people or to discipline people as
people or to discipline people as
people or to discipline people as somebody myself who doesn’t want to
somebody myself who doesn’t want to
somebody myself who doesn’t want to reproduce because I have lots of kids
reproduce because I have lots of kids
reproduce because I have lots of kids because I teach and I like to go home
because I teach and I like to go home
because I teach and I like to go home alone I often get from students and
alone I often get from students and
alone I often get from students and other adults you don’t want to have kids
other adults you don’t want to have kids
other adults you don’t want to have kids it’s like no I’m fine but there’s a bit
it’s like no I’m fine but there’s a bit
it’s like no I’m fine but there’s a bit of a judgment there and when people say
of a judgment there and when people say
of a judgment there and when people say oh I don’t want to have children you
oh I don’t want to have children you
oh I don’t want to have children you know that could ruin a would be
know that could ruin a would be
know that could ruin a would be grandmothers day or mother-in-law going
grandmothers day or mother-in-law going
grandmothers day or mother-in-law going hey where are my grandkids or father
hey where are my grandkids or father
hey where are my grandkids or father going where am I gonna have a grandkid
going where am I gonna have a grandkid
going where am I gonna have a grandkid to have some fun with when it comes to
to have some fun with when it comes to
to have some fun with when it comes to sex education though this infiltrates in
sex education though this infiltrates in
sex education though this infiltrates in a lot of really problematic ways for
a lot of really problematic ways for
a lot of really problematic ways for inclusion because we think of sex
inclusion because we think of sex
inclusion because we think of sex education like this that model doesn’t
education like this that model doesn’t
education like this that model doesn’t fit everybody now how that fits in the
fit everybody now how that fits in the
fit everybody now how that fits in the sex education is that we often talk
sex education is that we often talk
sex education is that we often talk about sex education and my job is funded
about sex education and my job is funded
about sex education and my job is funded by a grant for teen pregnancy prevention
by a grant for teen pregnancy prevention
by a grant for teen pregnancy prevention so the idea of preventing teen
so the idea of preventing teen
so the idea of preventing teen pregnancies is itself also a problem
pregnancies is itself also a problem
pregnancies is itself also a problem because teens and youth have the right
because teens and youth have the right
because teens and youth have the right to make decisions about their own
to make decisions about their own
to make decisions about their own reproductive health so what we’re
reproductive health so what we’re
reproductive health so what we’re actually doing is trying to educate for
actually doing is trying to educate for
actually doing is trying to educate for unintended pregnancies pregnancies that
unintended pregnancies pregnancies that
unintended pregnancies pregnancies that are mistimed or not wanted like ah I
are mistimed or not wanted like ah I
are mistimed or not wanted like ah I didn’t know that was gonna happen but in
didn’t know that was gonna happen but in
didn’t know that was gonna happen but in the meantime when we do these programs
the meantime when we do these programs
the meantime when we do these programs many of these programs are given to us
many of these programs are given to us
many of these programs are given to us from different places they focus on
from different places they focus on
from different places they focus on heterosexual penis and vagina real
heterosexual penis and vagina real
heterosexual penis and vagina real leading to reproduction sex that’s
leading to reproduction sex that’s
leading to reproduction sex that’s considered the norm so if that’s
considered the norm so if that’s
considered the norm so if that’s considered the norm we don’t get to talk
considered the norm we don’t get to talk
considered the norm we don’t get to talk about a whole lot of other sexual acts
about a whole lot of other sexual acts
about a whole lot of other sexual acts the whole spectrum so I do say I do a
the whole spectrum so I do say I do a
the whole spectrum so I do say I do a program and this has happened to me I
program and this has happened to me I
program and this has happened to me I tend to have really outspoken youth
tend to have really outspoken youth
tend to have really outspoken youth which is great and I’ll have a youth
which is great and I’ll have a youth
which is great and I’ll have a youth who’s a self-identified lesbian go hey
who’s a self-identified lesbian go hey
who’s a self-identified lesbian go hey this doesn’t matter to me I’m a lesbian
this doesn’t matter to me I’m a lesbian
this doesn’t matter to me I’m a lesbian I don’t picture myself having sex with
I don’t picture myself having sex with
I don’t picture myself having sex with somebody with a penis ever and that’s
somebody with a penis ever and that’s
somebody with a penis ever and that’s their worldview that’s their identity
their worldview that’s their identity
their worldview that’s their identity and so yeah if I’m talking about
and so yeah if I’m talking about
and so yeah if I’m talking about external condoms and birth control
external condoms and birth control
external condoms and birth control this isn’t relating to them and you may
this isn’t relating to them and you may
this isn’t relating to them and you may think well maybe she has a point she’s
think well maybe she has a point she’s
think well maybe she has a point she’s not necessarily thinking about having
not necessarily thinking about having
not necessarily thinking about having sex that could lead to reproduction so
sex that could lead to reproduction so
sex that could lead to reproduction so why does she need to learn it maybe she
why does she need to learn it maybe she
why does she need to learn it maybe she should have some other kind of sex
should have some other kind of sex
should have some other kind of sex education that brings up some issues for
education that brings up some issues for
education that brings up some issues for me about separate vehicle we’ll put that
me about separate vehicle we’ll put that
me about separate vehicle we’ll put that aside because that’s problem instead we
aside because that’s problem instead we
aside because that’s problem instead we also have to admit that queer youth do
also have to admit that queer youth do
also have to admit that queer youth do have unintended pregnancies and you may
have unintended pregnancies and you may
have unintended pregnancies and you may go really but there are many instances
go really but there are many instances
go really but there are many instances where queer youth might have sex that
where queer youth might have sex that
where queer youth might have sex that results in a pregnancy
results in a pregnancy
results in a pregnancy for example if somebody’s dealing with
for example if somebody’s dealing with
for example if somebody’s dealing with internalized homophobia they may act and
internalized homophobia they may act and
internalized homophobia they may act and do certain things we may have certain
do certain things we may have certain
do certain things we may have certain kinds of sex that they don’t want but to
kinds of sex that they don’t want but to
kinds of sex that they don’t want but to be perceived as heterosexual or to be
be perceived as heterosexual or to be
be perceived as heterosexual or to be perceived as themselves as heterosexual
perceived as themselves as heterosexual
perceived as themselves as heterosexual so all it takes is at one time somebody
so all it takes is at one time somebody
so all it takes is at one time somebody a gay man perhaps takes a girl out for
a gay man perhaps takes a girl out for
a gay man perhaps takes a girl out for prom does some stereotypical acts just
prom does some stereotypical acts just
prom does some stereotypical acts just that one time you have an unintended
that one time you have an unintended
that one time you have an unintended pregnancy there are also times when
pregnancy there are also times when
pregnancy there are also times when people just feel forced socially into
people just feel forced socially into
people just feel forced socially into that we also have to admit that queer
that we also have to admit that queer
that we also have to admit that queer youth are often the subject of different
youth are often the subject of different
youth are often the subject of different oppressions and disparities so they may
oppressions and disparities so they may
oppressions and disparities so they may have to result or go into sex sex work
have to result or go into sex sex work
have to result or go into sex sex work trading sex for money or survival sex
trading sex for money or survival sex
trading sex for money or survival sex trading sex for some sort of shelter or
trading sex for some sort of shelter or
trading sex for some sort of shelter or some sort of food protection and queer
some sort of food protection and queer
some sort of food protection and queer youth especially transgender women and
youth especially transgender women and
youth especially transgender women and transgender women of color are often
transgender women of color are often
transgender women of color are often targeted for sexual assault and rape
targeted for sexual assault and rape
targeted for sexual assault and rape these are all potential acts that could
these are all potential acts that could
these are all potential acts that could lead to pregnancy but definitely not on
lead to pregnancy but definitely not on
lead to pregnancy but definitely not on the radar of somebody who might
the radar of somebody who might
the radar of somebody who might self-identify as gay or lesbian
self-identify as gay or lesbian
self-identify as gay or lesbian and definitely not something that maybe
and definitely not something that maybe
and definitely not something that maybe people even want to happen so in these
people even want to happen so in these
people even want to happen so in these cases what do what should we do well for
cases what do what should we do well for
cases what do what should we do well for the self-identified lesbian in the class
the self-identified lesbian in the class
the self-identified lesbian in the class this doesn’t relate to her if I’m just
this doesn’t relate to her if I’m just
this doesn’t relate to her if I’m just talking about a penis and vagina sex
talking about a penis and vagina sex
talking about a penis and vagina sex model it does not relate and if there’s
model it does not relate and if there’s
model it does not relate and if there’s one big education faux pas it’s if you
one big education faux pas it’s if you
one big education faux pas it’s if you don’t teach something that relates to
don’t teach something that relates to
don’t teach something that relates to somebody’s personal experience there is
somebody’s personal experience there is
somebody’s personal experience there is no way for it to be incorporated into
no way for it to be incorporated into
no way for it to be incorporated into their knowledge and so if somebody’s
their knowledge and so if somebody’s
their knowledge and so if somebody’s world view is this is the kind of sex
world view is this is the kind of sex
world view is this is the kind of sex I’m having this is how I am this is my
I’m having this is how I am this is my
I’m having this is how I am this is my Who I am as a person it’s not gonna land
Who I am as a person it’s not gonna land
Who I am as a person it’s not gonna land personal experience starting college I
personal experience starting college I
personal experience starting college I go online because online tells all the
go online because online tells all the
go online because online tells all the answers how to have anal sex safely is
answers how to have anal sex safely is
answers how to have anal sex safely is that something I learned in class is
that something I learned in class is
that something I learned in class is that something I should have learned in
that something I should have learned in
that something I should have learned in class I would say so
class I would say so
class I would say so if I want to be able to have safe sexual
if I want to be able to have safe sexual
if I want to be able to have safe sexual encounters my sex ed program should
encounters my sex ed program should
encounters my sex ed program should provide that information and considering
provide that information and considering
provide that information and considering that I’m was a sponge in school I did
that I’m was a sponge in school I did
that I’m was a sponge in school I did not get that at all so I’m pretty sure
not get that at all so I’m pretty sure
not get that at all so I’m pretty sure it wasn’t there but that also is making
it wasn’t there but that also is making
it wasn’t there but that also is making me like I’m maybe a little bit weird
me like I’m maybe a little bit weird
me like I’m maybe a little bit weird because I’m looking up how to do things
because I’m looking up how to do things
because I’m looking up how to do things safely that’s not on the forefront of
safely that’s not on the forefront of
safely that’s not on the forefront of people’s minds that’s not on the
people’s minds that’s not on the
people’s minds that’s not on the forefront of a youths mind about to
forefront of a youths mind about to
forefront of a youths mind about to gauge in sexual contact or sexual
gauge in sexual contact or sexual
gauge in sexual contact or sexual intercourse and so including a variety
intercourse and so including a variety
intercourse and so including a variety of sex acts including the spectrum of
of sex acts including the spectrum of
of sex acts including the spectrum of sex identity of gender identity is going
sex identity of gender identity is going
sex identity of gender identity is going to be able to include LGBTQ youth but
to be able to include LGBTQ youth but
to be able to include LGBTQ youth but it’s also going to include everybody
it’s also going to include everybody
it’s also going to include everybody else because do heterosexual people just
else because do heterosexual people just
else because do heterosexual people just have penis and vagina sex no some people
have penis and vagina sex no some people
have penis and vagina sex no some people do but there’s many other sexual acts
do but there’s many other sexual acts
do but there’s many other sexual acts that people have that maybe there’s
that people have that maybe there’s
that people have that maybe there’s something to learn about safety maybe
something to learn about safety maybe
something to learn about safety maybe there’s something to learn about
there’s something to learn about
there’s something to learn about pleasure maybe there’s something to
pleasure maybe there’s something to
pleasure maybe there’s something to learn about how to do
learn about how to do
learn about how to do better so this idea of queering sex ed
better so this idea of queering sex ed
better so this idea of queering sex ed is gonna be good for everybody because
is gonna be good for everybody because
is gonna be good for everybody because reducing sex to a biological function
reducing sex to a biological function
reducing sex to a biological function removes everything that makes it human
removes everything that makes it human
removes everything that makes it human to us so I have a couple things that I
to us so I have a couple things that I
to us so I have a couple things that I think we can do to try to work on this
think we can do to try to work on this
think we can do to try to work on this problem I’m a sex health educator so I
problem I’m a sex health educator so I
problem I’m a sex health educator so I try to do it on my own
try to do it on my own
try to do it on my own but you need everybody the first is
but you need everybody the first is
but you need everybody the first is thinking about why we don’t talk about
thinking about why we don’t talk about
thinking about why we don’t talk about sex in our culture we have a lot of
sex in our culture we have a lot of
sex in our culture we have a lot of puritanical roots in the United States
puritanical roots in the United States
puritanical roots in the United States culture and those often make sex seem
culture and those often make sex seem
culture and those often make sex seem dirty or immoral and we need to
dirty or immoral and we need to
dirty or immoral and we need to acknowledge that those things could
acknowledge that those things could
acknowledge that those things could cause shame and stigma when people want
cause shame and stigma when people want
cause shame and stigma when people want to talk about sex second we need to talk
to talk about sex second we need to talk
to talk about sex second we need to talk about pleasure if we talk about sex and
about pleasure if we talk about sex and
about pleasure if we talk about sex and we don’t talk about that some people do
we don’t talk about that some people do
we don’t talk about that some people do it for pleasure
it for pleasure
it for pleasure anybody who has that sex for pleasure
anybody who has that sex for pleasure
anybody who has that sex for pleasure it’s not going to relate to it they’re
it’s not going to relate to it they’re
it’s not going to relate to it they’re gonna go what’s this person talking
gonna go what’s this person talking
gonna go what’s this person talking about that’s just functions this is
about that’s just functions this is
about that’s just functions this is something else I’m doing over here so
something else I’m doing over here so
something else I’m doing over here so they’re not going to connect to it
they’re not going to connect to it
they’re not going to connect to it they’re not going to relate to it and
they’re not going to relate to it and
they’re not going to relate to it and third I really encourage everybody to be
third I really encourage everybody to be
third I really encourage everybody to be advocates for sex education as somebody
advocates for sex education as somebody
advocates for sex education as somebody who’s worked with principals
who’s worked with principals
who’s worked with principals administrators and teachers they’re
administrators and teachers they’re
administrators and teachers they’re often very scared about what parents
often very scared about what parents
often very scared about what parents guardians and the community are gonna do
guardians and the community are gonna do
guardians and the community are gonna do you know somebody wants to teach sex
you know somebody wants to teach sex
you know somebody wants to teach sex health in a health class and the first
health in a health class and the first
health in a health class and the first thing is what if the parents gonna think
thing is what if the parents gonna think
thing is what if the parents gonna think are they gonna riah so as parents
are they gonna riah so as parents
are they gonna riah so as parents guardians community members what is
guardians community members what is
guardians community members what is being taught in your schools what is
being taught in your schools what is
being taught in your schools what is being taught to the youth and the people
being taught to the youth and the people
being taught to the youth and the people that are growing up and becoming part of
that are growing up and becoming part of
that are growing up and becoming part of the community around you so those three
the community around you so those three
the community around you so those three things talk about why we don’t talk
things talk about why we don’t talk
things talk about why we don’t talk about it talk about pleasure and talk
about it talk about pleasure and talk
about it talk about pleasure and talk about what is being taught and how can
about what is being taught and how can
about what is being taught and how can you add it had the cake for an inclusive
you add it had the cake for an inclusive
you add it had the cake for an inclusive sex ed and to me that’s a really great
sex ed and to me that’s a really great
sex ed and to me that’s a really great way for having queer sex ed for all
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