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Quando non se ne può più… degli altri | Marta Iatta | TEDxNovaraSalon


have you ever wondered why there are

of the people who are there right away

unpleasant at first sight do not have

still started talking is already there

they are unpleasant or otherwise

there are some people that we like

immediately wonderfully or al

contrary to the people we have

fear for some issues that just

we can not understand these well

other questions are questions that

question the psychology of the mind from

a long time and what they start to

to explain to us that there are neurons

called the mirror neurons that yes

turn on the moment when

we simply observe someone

so we do not do that does not speak but that

is doing an action that in ours

mind recalls the need us there

our brain turns on exactly

how you turn on the other’s brain

person

even there are times when

we position ourselves in the same way in

where we place the person we are

observing what happens this

because it actually happens these are

innate behaviors you have present the

primitive men those for a long time

time ago well try to imagine

being there where there were very few

food resources of places of

protection the caves were few were

small and they were dangerous

the compensation there were many dangers

everywhere food hazards because the

things that were eaten were not always

safe dangers that came from

rest of the world from other human beings

who lived on that same territory

dangers from animals was

necessary for man to safeguard himself

how could he do it as he could

do it by building a thought that could

protect only those belonging

to its reference group at

own close family circle

thus begins to consider the concept

of yin group that is all those people

that are part of our circle

familiar and that we recognize similar

all of us are dangerous to us

because they can take us away

resources because they can come and

kill us because they can arrive e

looting our territory is the

our out group

now the problem is that by dint of living

in the group big trouble happens

try to imagine what it means

proliferate in environments where we are

all always being parts of the same

family

unfortunately born of the opprobriums that is

the genetic mutation is dangerous and

detrimental to the human being and then think about it

food is depleted more and more

because there is no possibility of grafts

new of new contaminations for

human being this predisposition

innate these behaviors are in

realities that seem protective are in

harmful realities

then man must decide in some

way to evolve to be where

we are today to change strategy must

decide by force that here the

innate propensities are actually more

harmful than those that appear to be if

we really want to include we must

starting from this assumption

naturally there is the propensity of

to say that we protect ourselves from

people belonging to another group

from an out group and we try to

protect our close circle

familiar for this is behavior

that we all do

daily in our history

even all those who believe they are good

good beautiful non-racist ready to

welcome everyone else we do it

we all do it all because it’s part of it

of our history

then the first concept that I ask you

about who I ask you to at

pay attention and this does not

we deny we do not deny ours

difficulties do not deny ours

concepts not shops do not deny them

we are aware of our ideas

of what we are

we are aware of our structures

of our history of the place from which

we arrive we do not deny the difference of the

our outlook will tell you an episode

I am a woman who I consider energetic

I do a lot of things alone

I drive in the car above all

around for at least for the piedmont

I make wedge formations part of the

morning at 5 and a half

I drive my car quietly and

calm up to 220 km 230 km

I’m my training actor and

I go back I never asked for my own

husband to accompany me I never have

asked my mother to come with me far

I do this thing by myself

being a good driver one day I have

even thought to challenge mine

husband and I told him you know that if you and me

we would have a race I would win

surely of course after a sound

laughter of him told me before marta

that a woman beats a man on the rail

it takes a lot of time

I remain of my idea he remains

of his idea about two weeks ago

he was in the car with my daughter and I went

in novara a person in front of me has

made a maneuver to what is incorrect

putting me in trouble

the first thing that came to my mind

when I turned to this one

person has been watching you’ll be

definitely a woman but like me that

I think I’m a good woman to drive

these categorisations belong to

all of us because each of us

consider what in your own

family history as the own in

group and that does not put it in

discussion I belong to one

generation in which the mothers of mine

classmates were women who

they worked very little often they worked

at home they were certainly not far away

of its territory

it was normal for me to imagine or feel myself

to say that they were the Pope who were leading with

the car

I grew up with that idea and today even

being a woman driving the car

keeps thinking and saying that i

men drive the car better for

which the first thing we need to do

pay attention we do not deny not

we deny ourselves

we do not deny our conceptions the

second idea on which I want to ask

your attention we extend ours

social circle we compel c ad

enlarge our social circle

let’s make a long list of people

that we know of the people who

we attend the things we are

used to seeing always and people

with which we are used to

compare almost daily

always a bit of years ago always in

I had to go for a car

intervention with school children

superior to arona and I needed it though

of a cultural mediator

of course as I am always that one

that goes by car

I can take Marian and let’s go together

towards arona in the car I know maria

I have been watching her for a while

maria but I see you tired there is some

thing that does not go rimi says but no marta

I did not just sleep much

well this night you’re sure because there

let’s stop having a coffee I do not have

need only five minutes and time

a bit of silence and I put myself

to drive without turning on the car

then I saw her really a little tired and

re-elected marian sure that everything goes

good

marta I can ask you a courtesy but

sure always I always is the one that you

I think it’s always open, always curious, I’m curious

but sure seas also proof is tell me that

what you need I can put the veil

because I know that when I arrive from

guys , I have to remove the veil because

creates a barrier because they do not

they understand the meaning but me this

morning I did not pray as I should

I still do not feel right with mine

conscience and without the veil I feel myself a

naked I need that veil, but sure

Maria but figured but it was enough for me

he asked why in my mind yes

he began to open a concept for which

that veil was not merely overpowering

or a legal obligation or

something that one had to do because

so it was written but it started to

become a personal need

individual exactly like that of

a patient of mine who must every evening

pray to his loved ones who have been missing

including his mother

very early paper in the exact order in

where they died and if she fails

to do it in that order he hears them not

be able to fall asleep calm because not

he greeted him correctly he did not

lent them a piece of thought

nothing changes, only change

the expression but the intimate need

deep is the same sin that I

that of marian as I do not

it belongs

I did not know how to recognize it instead

that of my patient was more to me

comfortable easier to see understand

meeting we enlarge our circle

social we coerce to talk with

like-minded people

different from us living situations

different from us who have experiences

different from us otherwise there

it will happen as I have to admit it is

happened to me in these last periods

to wake up one day sure you sure

an electoral victory and then

mind blowing mind that this

it was not true because my reference

it was always only the environment that voted for it

same thing I wanted

third point we say what we see

let’s say it with honesty let’s say it to everyone

to the people we love

especially because it will also happen to you

you to be at the table with yours

parents with your friends with yours

children and hear those phrases

wonderful that we use all of us

full of absolute ones that are part

of the Italian language

all never always how many homosexuals there

I’m in Milan is full now there are

just them but you do not see how many landings

there are more foreigners in the world

what Italians what happens then

let’s stop we have the courage to say a

Those people

look, maybe it’s not always all right

so maybe the homosexuals are there but

because now we can see him there

we can look have a name and a

surname can go to the bar

quietly not because they are more

it happened to me once mine

grandma told me to

these young people of today who are gods

lazy and irreverent and I have it

looked not those young people of today are

I’m the coletto, you said but that’s enough

marta work is not possible

you come back so late that you are questioning

small are the same are we want

just give me this thing here and ea

all the others decide that it’s not good

So let’s stop and tell the others

people not aggressively but with

courage when we see things that

they do not go that absolute ones do not do

part of an inclusive world because

you know what the truth is

you know who was in the car with me two

weeks ago on that road between

trecate novara there was my daughter at the

as I said, women do not know

drive I’m already delivering a

model in with which she will grow and

if we respect them

future generations we must start to

think that words to attitudes

that we use they reach their own

them and those who would like to deliver to her a

more inclusive world more capable of

look at the ability to be

different without that in this

difference see only the

overwhelm the danger but also the

wealth is true the behaviors of

included in groups are based on

innate propensities but I’m not one

obstacle should only be addressed

directed to make the world that

that today

let us remember that the meeting takes place between

foreigners would otherwise be kinship

thank you

[Applause]

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