what kind of man you that tarzan
tank and screams to solve things
the homer simpson that all problems
his wife or the check
the group that solves your things to your
way of your way
because it is if it does not exist here unfortunately
exists in society
I also had a macho formation
exogenous sexist homophobic certain
it passed through me as if
it was a very normal natural thing
because my grandparents acted like my parents and
I received this education
until one day making a trail
along with colleagues I only have one stone
and this stone caused a lot more pain
very large
I crouched down and started to cry and the
leader then stopped the track and called me
the little woman wimp sissy and came
me to get up and asked the
What I was talking about doing I was
crying that I was not not only denied
Van Damme, I had left the
feeling of pain take me as the
men leaves their feeling of pain
get out, that’s it
we went under a tree
We talked for about two hours.
about tears about feelings about
What is it to be a man in society?
life passed and I realized
so that a man and proved to be
strong and be without feelings without
show what everything is inside of us
life was spinning spinning
and I ended up incredible as it seems
working in a garimpo is the garimpo
that healthy environment is not harmonic
right where everyone treats everyone the
license but the garimpo was
very good too
It was a place of the second listening and I could
to listen to what he was doing there
together with those men all
looking for gold greed wealth
destruction then I realized that
it was not going anywhere
That’s when I decided to go back to
civilization in the city and make
philosophy when I said this to the
My father’s ready, I’m going to make a hobo.
he asked what philosophy is for
serving philosophy
for serving a challenge but the son
is for nothing
everyone has a philosophy because the
philosophy is within us then
studying philosophy I fell into a group
studying there is the question of
sexuality that wanted to research the
AIDS epidemic in the city of são paulo
so there I go again in
Venturing went to the streets of São Paulo
at night investigate prostitutes
travestis michês all professionals
of sex
in college our group was known
like the protocols
So, we did that two years ago.
research in the city of são paulo
but at the time of the discussion of
reports and team
I raised a question, one missing.
character to be interviewed in this
project everyone asked me
I told the client
the man I told you, we need
interview will know why a man enters
in a situation of risk because the man
force the situation of violence because
the man pays or does not pay
It’s in your hand and look
things to discover mainly that
to be a man in this society is a castle
of fantasies and we live and support ourselves
in this castle of fantasies that
question of masculinities she needs
be further investigated
It needs to be more discussed then I
I started to research and understand how it is
that this training process takes place
masculinities what is man
that I feel like this search I just
participating in a seminar on
gender and sexuality in federal river
their auditorium in January.
women only two men and I
I raised my hand on the question of
gender is relational because
one does not study about man because in
situation of violence that is the
responsible
So how come a man is not?
on here
we can not study about the genre
about masculinity
at that moment everyone was surprised
why study men study those
who are the owners of power
and it is precisely we have to study this
that person to be human because he
places in this place and then in that
genre
I’ve been getting deeper every time
searching for more elements and I could see that
there is one thing in society called
patriarchy that legitimizes this place of
man in society legitimizes this place
of power and man himself becomes
prisoner of that place
We do not even know why that’s the way it is.
what to be like
I do not even know why I have to hide
I cry because we are refractory to
express our feelings
in this
in the process in santo andré
we started doing a job of
male sexuality paternity
sexual and reproductive health and all
remember me here a while ago
huh
What happened to a man who beat
threatened a woman paid a basket
basic community service attempted to
school wall that someone educated
way
It was then a conversation
we began to serve these men who
women were beaten as was the routine
What was the profile like?
began to happen almost
spontaneous so I did not even know what
was happening because many men
who committed violence before the law
Maria da penha
they committed one two three
There was a guy who was taking a
diploma because in the same year
and there are two three times
the forum against that against another
companion then we searched the
methodology I had in the fields of
soccer
I had to in the friendly societies of
neighborhood I had in the unions
I had to go where the men were
listen to them understand this process
understand how to build this
masculinity of not accepting the
equality between men and women
and this process is very rich because when
came the law Maria of the rock
We already had the basics to
I knew it was necessary to accommodate these
men in a punitive society and
You must know our chains.
they do not transform it only reinforces
Of course I wanted to get that man who
threat that sends a message that gives
notices
because it is if the man this way to prevent
feminicide, the death of women is
acting on the first complaint that the
companion ex girlfriend companion
bride does and this design
he started to gain a body
he started gaining more visibility
and it spread
he began to transform a
methodology that has not been
I had to listen to the man listening to the man
aggressor yes listen to an aggressor man
because when this man is indicted and
he starts joining the groups
he is invited weekly to do
part of a group with other men who
also assaulted her companions and
in this process of listening for 16
He does not come
first meeting does not reach him as if
he had a muzzle he knows he arrives
with blood in the eyes
believing that all that is
partner’s invention
believing that he is being wronged
Why did you have to report to the police station?
had to explain
had to give a statement had to
talk then our group is a proposal
to eradicate violence with these
male aggressors
on the first date, people coming
No one is going to talk I believe
a woman started studying after
she raised her children and she was going
well in college progressing by doing
new friendships
clearing your conscience what
It happened
the guy with many unites with a lot
insecurity burned all the books
takes when it speaks with another
man who committed another crime
This man also react but you
could have burned her life
the magic is this to make the other
man who committed another crime as well
realize that that crime he could have
committed and so on a round of conversation
not to put a hand on the head of
no one since we had a man there
You said please take me to the
I do not want to stay here.
you are torturers for the seed
people make a process where it goes
reviewing its structure, it will
learning acilve learning to listen to
a transformative way to learn that
that act that hair pull
that shout that threat you do not
is going to leave the house even a woman
who got a good job and she
needed to look better
she bought some dresses because the
job requires knowing what he did with the
her dress picotou all the dresses
it got cut
he is cutting what he is cutting
dreams to dignity
he is cutting the citizenship of this
woman
then this man when he reported that the
another also began to listen to the two
began to realize that this could
grow and it’s time to identify
this act of seeing
it was the act of transformation
me and a colleague too when we were
playing a man that’s in caetano
Suddenly he gets up and talks to you.
made me give up killing the
My wife and I looked like this in my
colleague our game between olhão and so
Speaking, that works out.
wow thousand
and then what happens the indexes show
before participating in these groups
the number of recidivism was almost
90% because there is no educational form
socio-cultural pedagogy of
deconstruct this machismo
what we created reduced to about
of 11 or 7%
in some places the rate of 2%
recidivism
the man when he participates in this process
of all the sessions of the whole cycle
he gives up this violence
he gives up because he finds himself in a
fantasy of a logic of fear in a
patriarchal macho logic that he does not
understands that the main victim is
Himself
so it is necessary to wake up and today
we have a project called time of
wake up time to wake up
even for this society for this
model of society where women
are there participating in the year
conquering by changing the way of being of the
society
this project give time to wake up in
Taboão city of the mountains
he was institutionalized
we got a bylaw
making it compulsory for the
least two groups per year of men
committed violence against their
girlfriends girlfriends and me companions
I believe this is just the beginning.
just the beginning of a very change
meaningful so that we can
men understand that feminism does well
feminism is not a struggle against
men
feminism is a possibility of a
egalitarian society where all these
buildings and be the strong man of the river
be thrown to the ground and we men
we can walk in a street when the woman
come in front of her, she does not need to change
sidewalk
This woman was certainly
harassed
how does a man think that a
honing horn will be understood by the
woman as a compliment
how does one sung in harassment
sexual intercourse can cause a woman to
love this principle
so in fact all this impacted the
project time to wake him press
by the ability to listen but is a
transformative listening since society
needs to change
in all environments and today several
groups are open here in the city of
Sao Paulo
in other cities working with this
methodology with this practice
with this moment of asking us
same men and women what it is to be
man in society
thank you so much
[Applause]
”
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