Allow me to introduce you to these five chairs
Because they are the real protagonists of this speech
They conveyed special information to us
This information is related to
What actions and attitudes we bring to the world every moment
Now I want to use
A story of my own explains what I mean to everyone
I once tried to work with a particularly important person
Build better relationships
This person is my partner’s twenty-year-old daughter
To build a better relationship I think
You can arrange a wonderful evening to spend with our two girls
I chose a special place
Blue Note Jazz in Milan
That night my favorite jazz band the Manhattan Transfer
Will perform on stage
We met at the jazz bar atmosphere was awesome
We are also very happy
I am very happy
The baby boomers love the music of this band.
But I can’t help but think that she will also like these music
I thought of turning here to see her
Guess what I see is what I see
She is playing mobile phone
What should I do?
I have several options
Choose one
Please do what she is doing
She is playing mobile phone
I spend time and money
Planning this beautiful night to bring her here and then
I stared at her for two minutes
She is there to play mobile phones
What’s wrong with this generation?
It’s hard to keep them focused for a few minutes
my God
(sigh)
Choose two
This is really wrong
(laughing out loud)
Why did I bring her here?
She suffocated and looked completely uninterested
What am I thinking? How could she like this music?
This kind of music for decades ago
She thought she was thinking of spending the night with a dinosaur.
Oh my God
Choose three
Do not worry
Count to ten deep breaths
Don’t worry about the conclusion
You don’t know what she’s doing with a cell phone
Easy to relax
Continued Cup
(laughing out loud)
Select four
What really matters to me is that
It’s very special to spend a night together
She will feel that she can really open my heart to this night
She feels safe when she is with me
I will always open a door to her. This is something that is really important to me.
I sincerely hope that this can happen
Really looking forward to
Choose five
What is important to her?
What is her current world?
What she cares most about
I sincerely hope to establish a close relationship with her
What do I need to do?
(sigh)
I tried to answer that question but could not think of the answer
It was then that she turned to me
Louise, do you know this is all over Europe?
The only Blue Note
There are two Japanese in New York
Milan is the only one in Europe
So cool for the Italians
She went on to say that I also checked the Manhattan Transfer
Did you know that they have been together for 40 years?
It’s so cool
Then she said again, look at this
She handed me a mobile phone to show her friend
It reads Blue Note in Milan
With the Manhattan transfer, Louise is the perfect night
Too hung
I almost ruined these
Because I’m very likely to give her a very unpleasant look in this chair
And she may have been talking to herself
This Louise is in control of the mad
She is hard to get along with
It’s hard to be with her
This is not what I want at all
In fact, she completely invested in it.
She is here
The multi-tasking state in the digital era records the real world to the online world
In other words, it does not take a second
I probably destroyed the beautiful moments we created together
This situation occurs frequently on our bodies
What kind of behavior we choose to bring to the world
What choices we make directly affect
Our conversation
Build relationships
And our total quality of life
So what should we do at the practical level?
Help yourself pay more attention to these
Because the school does not teach these things
The school curriculum does not include how to treat people
So what can we do?
So I thought of the theory of five chairs
It comes from a nine-day course on non-violent communication that I once attended.
Course instructor is Marshall Rosenberg, a great man
He did a lot of work for world peace
After the course I feel that my life has changed
I decided to learn from the curriculum
Apply to the actual workplace
I spent the most time in the workplace
Plays roles such as tutor coordinator trainer
The workplace is also where we make the most controversial
Sometimes even harmful behavior
So the theory of five chairs can help us slow down
Help us decide what to do at every moment in our lives
And help us analyze the situation at the time
Let me come now
Take a closer look at each chair and explain the meaning behind them
The first is the red chair
Jack Wolf Chair
Jackal Wolf is an extremely intelligent and extremely speculative animal
They are always looking for opportunities to make an attack
Actually this chair is the chair we make the most wrongdoing
In this chair we like to condemn like complaining like to punish like to say gossip
But what we do most in this chair is to judge others
If you don’t believe that I invite you to participate in a spiritual introspection
I invite you to spend an hour with some people
See if you can not be in your mind during this hour
Make any judgments
Ask yourself
Someone came in and we began to look up and down
I like I don’t like it
And we know nothing about them yet
So this chair
It’s a chair that judges
There is another game I like about this chair
This game called me right
I have always been like this before
Until one day my brother gave me some feedback
I used to treat my mom like this because she always likes to express her exaggeration
For example, she would say this
Yes, 30 people attended our family gathering.
And I first corrected her
I said mom is not right, but not 30 people are 13 people
Look, I’m like a female superintendent.
Then my brother touched my arm
Remind me that she didn’t say anything about my strong response to him
What does it mean you say it’s okay? Of course it’s related to her wrong
For her good her mistakes have to be corrected in time
He touched my arm again and said
What you want is to live in harmony with your own mother.
Or the one who always wants to be right
I learned an important lesson
From then on
I always consider my mother’s exaggeration as a reflection of her sense of satisfaction.
In other words, we tend to
To pay attention to the deficiencies of others
Not the merit
Mother Teresa warns us
The more time we spend on judging others, the less time we have to love others
The next chair is a hedgehog chair
The yellow one
About Hedgehog
We feel particularly vulnerable when we act like hedgehogs
Curling up to protect yourself from the evil outside world
What we do in this chair is ruthlessly judging ourselves
In other words, we use this red chair to treat ourselves
We would say such things as I am not smart enough
I can’t trust nobody
We often have fear
Fear of being rejected Fear of disappointment Fear of failure
We also always play the weak
Unconsciously thinking that no one cares and I don’t love me
But in fact
When I explained this chair theory in the company I would ask the managers
Which chair do you sit on most of the time?
Almost no one will sit on this hedgehog chair
This is because it is sometimes difficult to recognize our weaknesses
We need a lot of courage
However, each of us is struggling with self-doubt
But really, what if we don’t have self-doubt?
Will we give up to compromise?
Or will you refuse?
I want to find resources to grow
Krishnamurti said something very exciting
He said that the highest form of wisdom is
Observe yourself but not judge yourself
Next chair
This is a fox chair
I don’t know if you’ve seen any fox
Italy does not have many foxes but this is a group of very amazing animals
When they perform guard duties
They can stand straight and straight for hours.
Moving the head all hours is only head
Extremely alert
We are like this when we sit on this chair
We pay careful attention
We observe pauses
We take deep breaths to keep our consciousness clear
This chair is called slow and slow
I was thinking about what I was saying to myself
Sitting in this chair we become curious
If someone gets angry we won’t say please, please be mature
Instead I want to understand why this person is angry
We want to know the answer
So this chair is
I can’t help thinking of Nietzsche
He has a famous quote for this chair
He said you have your way I have my
As for the correct and only way it does not exist
So here we have a choice
Red pill or blue pill
This is a sliding door chair
At the moment when we make the right choice
We walk into a successful life
Next chair
It leads us into the world of investigation
Why is the investigation
This is because we became our own detectives
Your own Sherlock Holmes
We look at our behavior with a magnifying glass
This is a great chair because we have a sense of self here.
We know who we are and what we want
Know where we are going and we are not afraid to say true
But at the same time we also established our own boundaries
We take good care of ourselves in this chair
We are very, very powerful
We don’t put our powers together
In this red chair we give power to others
In this detective chair we grow up and we become free
We have all the power
We become bold but not aggressive
Aristotle once said that understanding himself is the source of all wisdom
Our entire life can be in this chair
Why Sign Animals Are Dolphins
Because dolphins are so wonderful an animal
They are ecstatic and will communicate elegantly
When I think of dolphins
Think of us as the best human beings can be
Next chair
This is a giraffe chair
Very beautiful chair
It’s not easy to sit
I’m not sure if you guys know
Giraffe’s heart is the largest among all terrestrial animals
So big
It not only has the biggest heart
There is the longest neck
So it has a very wide view
When we sit on this chair
We will show empathy, compassion and understanding
In this chair, we will completely abandon our arrogance
We listen to others’ complaints
We help people care about them when others need them
Place yourself to understand others
Is a big degree of behavior
Abraham Lincoln once said
I don’t like that person. I need to understand him better.
So this chair represents an invitation
Invite you to use the perspective of others to see the problem
To accept other various realities
Accept diversity
Become tolerant
The most important question in this chair is
What is the most important thing for this person before me?
The purpose of this chair is to maintain the relationship no matter what happens
This is the symbolic meaning of all these chairs
So how do we apply them to our daily lives?
You can imagine yourself going to work
May be to make a speech
The speech went smoothly
So you’re sitting on this chair thinking it’s fantastic
Or maybe you went to a conference and it didn’t go well
So we sat down on these chairs
Our daily challenge is to understand how to find a balance point
The balance about sitting here or there
Because if we sit here and live, we won’t be happy
But if we sit here on these chairs
We are more sober and more open
Smarter and more thoughtful
The work that I was deeply moved by when I first read it
Victor Frank said in his book Live Out of Meaning
All things can be taken away from the person but in addition to the same
Ultimately free
Is to choose our attitude no matter what
What a powerful rhetoric
So next time you want to get angry with your child
Or when quarreling with your partner
Or to punish someone in the office
Try to think about this chair here.
If you happen to sit on this chair
This happens often
Can we summon up the courage to say sorry?
Then correct each error
Now I invite you to bring these chairs home
Practice them to make them part of you
Teach your children the stories that are contained in these chairs and they will immediately understand
Put these five chairs into the conference room
See if the meeting will go more smoothly
And when someone annoys you again
Think five options for five chairs
Can we all work hard to make our home
Our office space and the world are getting better
Trying a behavior at once
Thank you
(applause)
”
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