my life has been one of extremes and going over edges 117 had an experience
going over edges 117 had an experience
going over edges 117 had an experience that compounded my anxiety I just passed
that compounded my anxiety I just passed
that compounded my anxiety I just passed my driver’s license test went to fill up
my driver’s license test went to fill up
my driver’s license test went to fill up my mom’s little red car with petrol for
my mom’s little red car with petrol for
my mom’s little red car with petrol for drunk started behaving abusively towards
drunk started behaving abusively towards
drunk started behaving abusively towards me thought it was brave to stand up to
me thought it was brave to stand up to
me thought it was brave to stand up to them big mistake
them big mistake
them big mistake they surrounded me they beat me up
they surrounded me they beat me up
they surrounded me they beat me up knocked me down had me on the floor was
knocked me down had me on the floor was
knocked me down had me on the floor was like kicking me in the head all I could
like kicking me in the head all I could
like kicking me in the head all I could do was curl up in the fetal position to
do was curl up in the fetal position to
do was curl up in the fetal position to try and shield their blows one of the
try and shield their blows one of the
try and shield their blows one of the name bar hit me in the face
name bar hit me in the face
name bar hit me in the face knocking pieces of my teeth down I
knocking pieces of my teeth down I
knocking pieces of my teeth down I started seeing stars my whole body went
started seeing stars my whole body went
started seeing stars my whole body went warm and numb and I I still couldn’t me
warm and numb and I I still couldn’t me
warm and numb and I I still couldn’t me I’m just laying there like this in the
I’m just laying there like this in the
I’m just laying there like this in the end I couldn’t feel the pain anymore so
end I couldn’t feel the pain anymore so
end I couldn’t feel the pain anymore so I thought they’d stopped hitting me so I
I thought they’d stopped hitting me so I
I thought they’d stopped hitting me so I open my eyes they were still hitting me
open my eyes they were still hitting me
open my eyes they were still hitting me I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t
I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t
I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t feel the pain thought to myself they’re
feel the pain thought to myself they’re
feel the pain thought to myself they’re not just beating you up this is what
not just beating you up this is what
not just beating you up this is what dying feels like as if I could feel my
dying feels like as if I could feel my
dying feels like as if I could feel my life slipping away and everything went
life slipping away and everything went
life slipping away and everything went black so I woke up in the pool of blood
black so I woke up in the pool of blood
black so I woke up in the pool of blood bits of my teeth missing they smashed my
bits of my teeth missing they smashed my
bits of my teeth missing they smashed my car windows a police car sped past of
car windows a police car sped past of
car windows a police car sped past of its sirens on which I thought was in
its sirens on which I thought was in
its sirens on which I thought was in pursuit of my attackers I was
pursuit of my attackers I was
pursuit of my attackers I was embarrassed I just wanted to get out of
embarrassed I just wanted to get out of
embarrassed I just wanted to get out of there I managed to drive home with
there I managed to drive home with
there I managed to drive home with blurred vision my parents took me for
blurred vision my parents took me for
blurred vision my parents took me for emergency medical treatment and all that
emergency medical treatment and all that
emergency medical treatment and all that was broken was my teeth which is what
was broken was my teeth which is what
was broken was my teeth which is what I’ve got these veneers when I went out
I’ve got these veneers when I went out
I’ve got these veneers when I went out to pubs and clubs after that I won’t go
to pubs and clubs after that I won’t go
to pubs and clubs after that I won’t go out and talk to women I was too
out and talk to women I was too
out and talk to women I was too self-conscious to dance wouldn’t talk to
self-conscious to dance wouldn’t talk to
self-conscious to dance wouldn’t talk to strangers but when the rave scene began
strangers but when the rave scene began
strangers but when the rave scene began in the UK I took ecstasy and all that
in the UK I took ecstasy and all that
in the UK I took ecstasy and all that stress and tension just melted out my
stress and tension just melted out my
stress and tension just melted out my body and I wouldn’t stop talking to
body and I wouldn’t stop talking to
body and I wouldn’t stop talking to people
people
people dancing making friends with women all
dancing making friends with women all
dancing making friends with women all night long
night long
night long unfortunately ecstasy became my crutch I
unfortunately ecstasy became my crutch I
unfortunately ecstasy became my crutch I didn’t think I was an interesting enough
didn’t think I was an interesting enough
didn’t think I was an interesting enough person to be around unless I was on
person to be around unless I was on
person to be around unless I was on drugs so for the next 10 years I took
drugs so for the next 10 years I took
drugs so for the next 10 years I took ecstasy almost every weekend I got so
ecstasy almost every weekend I got so
ecstasy almost every weekend I got so deep into this lifestyle that I started
deep into this lifestyle that I started
deep into this lifestyle that I started the deal ecstasy in Arizona and on may
the deal ecstasy in Arizona and on may
the deal ecstasy in Arizona and on may 16th 2002 SWAT team smash my door down I
16th 2002 SWAT team smash my door down I
16th 2002 SWAT team smash my door down I take full responsibility for all the bad
take full responsibility for all the bad
take full responsibility for all the bad choices that put me in jail at first I
choices that put me in jail at first I
choices that put me in jail at first I was terrified it did turn out to be the
was terrified it did turn out to be the
was terrified it did turn out to be the educational opportunity of a lifetime
educational opportunity of a lifetime
educational opportunity of a lifetime but going in is all completely gang
but going in is all completely gang
but going in is all completely gang controlled racial gangs so because I’m
controlled racial gangs so because I’m
controlled racial gangs so because I’m white as soon as I go in group of
white as soon as I go in group of
white as soon as I go in group of skinheads come up to me like getting
skinheads come up to me like getting
skinheads come up to me like getting that cell over there we want a word with
that cell over there we want a word with
that cell over there we want a word with you you can’t say no to these guys
you you can’t say no to these guys
you you can’t say no to these guys obviously so I go in the cell they
obviously so I go in the cell they
obviously so I go in the cell they follow me in close the door so I can’t
follow me in close the door so I can’t
follow me in close the door so I can’t get out the biggest ones got me up
get out the biggest ones got me up
get out the biggest ones got me up against the wall like what are your
against the wall like what are your
against the wall like what are your charges what are your charges I don’t
charges what are your charges I don’t
charges what are your charges I don’t understand my charges I’ve got a little
understand my charges I’ve got a little
understand my charges I’ve got a little printout but I don’t understand what
printout but I don’t understand what
printout but I don’t understand what they means I’m like I’m not sure what my
they means I’m like I’m not sure what my
they means I’m like I’m not sure what my charges mean so you would show more uhm
charges mean so you would show more uhm
charges mean so you would show more uhm oh we got me up at the wall now about to
oh we got me up at the wall now about to
oh we got me up at the wall now about to smash me chomo is child molester I
smash me chomo is child molester I
smash me chomo is child molester I didn’t understand what that meant either
didn’t understand what that meant either
didn’t understand what that meant either in the end I pulled out my little charge
in the end I pulled out my little charge
in the end I pulled out my little charge sheet showed it to them because it was
sheet showed it to them because it was
sheet showed it to them because it was drug charges they left me alone some
drug charges they left me alone some
drug charges they left me alone some charges are K OS by the gang which means
charges are K OS by the gang which means
charges are K OS by the gang which means kill on sight such as Peter foul stuff
kill on sight such as Peter foul stuff
kill on sight such as Peter foul stuff other charges are SOS smash on sight
other charges are SOS smash on sight
other charges are SOS smash on sight beat up such as drive-by shootings
beat up such as drive-by shootings
beat up such as drive-by shootings because women and kids sometimes get hit
because women and kids sometimes get hit
because women and kids sometimes get hit anyone coming in with a sex offense or a
anyone coming in with a sex offense or a
anyone coming in with a sex offense or a crime against the woman or a child right
crime against the woman or a child right
crime against the woman or a child right away the gang is going to try and murder
away the gang is going to try and murder
away the gang is going to try and murder them right there very least they’re
them right there very least they’re
them right there very least they’re going to smash them
going to smash them
going to smash them that’s called convict justice once you
that’s called convict justice once you
that’s called convict justice once you get through this interrogation you have
get through this interrogation you have
get through this interrogation you have to go and meet the head of the gang
to go and meet the head of the gang
to go and meet the head of the gang explains all the rules you must follow
explains all the rules you must follow
explains all the rules you must follow that’s the whole gang will smash you if
that’s the whole gang will smash you if
that’s the whole gang will smash you if someone calls you a punk a bitch or hit
someone calls you a punk a bitch or hit
someone calls you a punk a bitch or hit you you’ll fight them on the spot what’s
you you’ll fight them on the spot what’s
you you’ll fight them on the spot what’s the whole gang will smash you
the whole gang will smash you
the whole gang will smash you you must take showers I’ll smash you for
you must take showers I’ll smash you for
you must take showers I’ll smash you for bad hygiene can’t go make you friends of
bad hygiene can’t go make you friends of
bad hygiene can’t go make you friends of the guards they’ll smash you for
the guards they’ll smash you for
the guards they’ll smash you for snitching can’t go sitting at the tables
snitching can’t go sitting at the tables
snitching can’t go sitting at the tables with the other races they’ll smash you
with the other races they’ll smash you
with the other races they’ll smash you for that everything you take for granted
for that everything you take for granted
for that everything you take for granted about your safety is reverse in here
about your safety is reverse in here
about your safety is reverse in here they’re constantly looking for people to
they’re constantly looking for people to
they’re constantly looking for people to beat up that’s how they earn their
beat up that’s how they earn their
beat up that’s how they earn their reputations and their tattoos it’s
reputations and their tattoos it’s
reputations and their tattoos it’s called putting work in to earn your
called putting work in to earn your
called putting work in to earn your political ink and the more serious the
political ink and the more serious the
political ink and the more serious the act of violence higher up in the gang
act of violence higher up in the gang
act of violence higher up in the gang are the tats that they earn under every
are the tats that they earn under every
are the tats that they earn under every head of the gang of guys called
head of the gang of guys called
head of the gang of guys called torpedoes they’ll go in and smash
torpedoes they’ll go in and smash
torpedoes they’ll go in and smash someone no questions asked just so they
someone no questions asked just so they
someone no questions asked just so they can earn their tats which look like this
it was half-ass panic rail without
it was half-ass panic rail without anyone know what the teardrop tattoo
anyone know what the teardrop tattoo
anyone know what the teardrop tattoo means the good someone whisper it each
means the good someone whisper it each
means the good someone whisper it each solid teardrop is one person he’s
solid teardrop is one person he’s
solid teardrop is one person he’s murdered for his gang anyone not the
murdered for his gang anyone not the
murdered for his gang anyone not the clear teardrop is outline sorrow for the
clear teardrop is outline sorrow for the
clear teardrop is outline sorrow for the loss of a fellow gang member then when
loss of a fellow gang member then when
loss of a fellow gang member then when you murdered a rival who’s murdered your
you murdered a rival who’s murdered your
you murdered a rival who’s murdered your fellow gang member you can fill the
fellow gang member you can fill the
fellow gang member you can fill the teardrop in so it’s solid like his
teardrop in so it’s solid like his
teardrop in so it’s solid like his preferred methods are kill use of a
preferred methods are kill use of a
preferred methods are kill use of a shank they stripped metal from all over
shank they stripped metal from all over
shank they stripped metal from all over the place you hear them at nights
the place you hear them at nights
the place you hear them at nights sharpening into knives all those in the
sharpening into knives all those in the
sharpening into knives all those in the background the whole made knives
background the whole made knives
background the whole made knives confiscated by the guards so I did not
confiscated by the guards so I did not
confiscated by the guards so I did not know it at the time but I was
know it at the time but I was
know it at the time but I was desperately in need of a relaxation
desperately in need of a relaxation
desperately in need of a relaxation technique my sister sent me this book
technique my sister sent me this book
technique my sister sent me this book Yoga made it easy which I hid under my
Yoga made it easy which I hid under my
Yoga made it easy which I hid under my mattress because I didn’t want the gang
mattress because I didn’t want the gang
mattress because I didn’t want the gang members to see this and to think I was a
members to see this and to think I was a
members to see this and to think I was a sissy and start to brutalize me but my
sissy and start to brutalize me but my
sissy and start to brutalize me but my sister kept on at me have you tried yoga
sister kept on at me have you tried yoga
sister kept on at me have you tried yoga have you tried yoga yet it sounds to get
have you tried yoga yet it sounds to get
have you tried yoga yet it sounds to get off my back I’m just going to try it I
off my back I’m just going to try it I
off my back I’m just going to try it I wait until my cell mate to a downstairs
wait until my cell mate to a downstairs
wait until my cell mate to a downstairs or so embarrassed I did a basic sequence
or so embarrassed I did a basic sequence
or so embarrassed I did a basic sequence of postures
of postures
of postures forward bend side band cat dog spinal
forward bend side band cat dog spinal
forward bend side band cat dog spinal twist at the end I laid down in corpse
twist at the end I laid down in corpse
twist at the end I laid down in corpse blows I could feel all that stress and
blows I could feel all that stress and
blows I could feel all that stress and tension just melting out my shoulders I
tension just melting out my shoulders I
tension just melting out my shoulders I said to myself you should take ecstasy
said to myself you should take ecstasy
said to myself you should take ecstasy to feel like this you can actually do
to feel like this you can actually do
to feel like this you can actually do this naturally so I started to throw
this naturally so I started to throw
this naturally so I started to throw myself into yoga now neuroscience is
myself into yoga now neuroscience is
myself into yoga now neuroscience is showing that to perform best in life you
showing that to perform best in life you
showing that to perform best in life you need to have a relaxation technique
need to have a relaxation technique
need to have a relaxation technique I know Yoga is not for everybody it
I know Yoga is not for everybody it
I know Yoga is not for everybody it might be taking a bubble bath might be
might be taking a bubble bath might be
might be taking a bubble bath might be sports it might be playing a musical
sports it might be playing a musical
sports it might be playing a musical instrument when you let that stress out
instrument when you let that stress out
instrument when you let that stress out of your system your resilience rises and
of your system your resilience rises and
of your system your resilience rises and you can perform much better in Japan
you can perform much better in Japan
you can perform much better in Japan last year the government warned that 1
last year the government warned that 1
last year the government warned that 1 in 4 people are susceptible to corrosion
in 4 people are susceptible to corrosion
in 4 people are susceptible to corrosion which is death by overwork heart attack
which is death by overwork heart attack
which is death by overwork heart attack and stroke they’re even making the
and stroke they’re even making the
and stroke they’re even making the companies pay out compensation to the
companies pay out compensation to the
companies pay out compensation to the family members of victims of Karoshi so
family members of victims of Karoshi so
family members of victims of Karoshi so it’s essential to let that stress out of
it’s essential to let that stress out of
it’s essential to let that stress out of your system now I’m on remand for 26
your system now I’m on remand for 26
your system now I’m on remand for 26 months and finally sentenced to nine and
months and finally sentenced to nine and
months and finally sentenced to nine and a half years first-time nonviolent drug
a half years first-time nonviolent drug
a half years first-time nonviolent drug offender I only have to serve just under
offender I only have to serve just under
offender I only have to serve just under six the prosecutor had played a number
six the prosecutor had played a number
six the prosecutor had played a number of tricks on me throughout my remand
of tricks on me throughout my remand
of tricks on me throughout my remand period and a final farewell was she
period and a final farewell was she
period and a final farewell was she accidentally put my 9 and a half year
accidentally put my 9 and a half year
accidentally put my 9 and a half year sentence down as 34 years on the
sentence down as 34 years on the
sentence down as 34 years on the paperwork to the prison system so I was
paperwork to the prison system so I was
paperwork to the prison system so I was fast-tracked to super maximum-security
fast-tracked to super maximum-security
fast-tracked to super maximum-security out in the Arizona Florence desert with
out in the Arizona Florence desert with
out in the Arizona Florence desert with the most violent dangerous prisoners
the most violent dangerous prisoners
the most violent dangerous prisoners including death row my neighbor is a
including death row my neighbor is a
including death row my neighbor is a serial killer my cellmate is a Satanist
serial killer my cellmate is a Satanist
serial killer my cellmate is a Satanist he’s got an inverted pentagram tattooed
he’s got an inverted pentagram tattooed
he’s got an inverted pentagram tattooed on his forehead in for murder part of a
on his forehead in for murder part of a
on his forehead in for murder part of a cult that’s drinking blood and doing
cult that’s drinking blood and doing
cult that’s drinking blood and doing human sacrifice and he was actually very
human sacrifice and he was actually very
human sacrifice and he was actually very nice to me
in Supermax you very rarely gout in
in Supermax you very rarely gout in yourself every three days you’re allowed
yourself every three days you’re allowed
yourself every three days you’re allowed out for a shower the guards come to your
out for a shower the guards come to your
out for a shower the guards come to your door in the shank proof body armor the
door in the shank proof body armor the
door in the shank proof body armor the Darth Vader masks and you’ve got to put
Darth Vader masks and you’ve got to put
Darth Vader masks and you’ve got to put your hands through a trap in the door so
your hands through a trap in the door so
your hands through a trap in the door so they can hand off you then you have to
they can hand off you then you have to
they can hand off you then you have to go and face the wall the door buzzes
go and face the wall the door buzzes
go and face the wall the door buzzes opens you step out slowly turn around
opens you step out slowly turn around
opens you step out slowly turn around and basically you’ve got to walk along
and basically you’ve got to walk along
and basically you’ve got to walk along this run until you get to the shower
this run until you get to the shower
this run until you get to the shower there’s all these cells on your
there’s all these cells on your
there’s all these cells on your right-hand side and they say to you if
right-hand side and they say to you if
right-hand side and they say to you if you turn and look at a prisoner signal
you turn and look at a prisoner signal
you turn and look at a prisoner signal to a prisoner do anything like that
to a prisoner do anything like that
to a prisoner do anything like that which is going to grab your skull and
which is going to grab your skull and
which is going to grab your skull and smash your teeth into the concrete so
smash your teeth into the concrete so
smash your teeth into the concrete so you walk in this very straight line
you walk in this very straight line
you walk in this very straight line along the run when you finally get to
along the run when you finally get to
along the run when you finally get to the shower the door buzzes opens you go
the shower the door buzzes opens you go
the shower the door buzzes opens you go in closes you put your hands back
in closes you put your hands back
in closes you put your hands back through beyond unhandcuff you but they
through beyond unhandcuff you but they
through beyond unhandcuff you but they leave you in there
leave you in there
leave you in there for a long time and the water only runs
for a long time and the water only runs
for a long time and the water only runs for 10 minutes for security purposes and
for 10 minutes for security purposes and
for 10 minutes for security purposes and you can imagine what it’s like in this
you can imagine what it’s like in this
you can imagine what it’s like in this men’s shower bodily fluids on the walls
men’s shower bodily fluids on the walls
men’s shower bodily fluids on the walls strange insects mold so in the beginning
strange insects mold so in the beginning
strange insects mold so in the beginning I was yelling the guards let me out let
I was yelling the guards let me out let
I was yelling the guards let me out let me out but I think they got off on them
me out but I think they got off on them
me out but I think they got off on them so I said to myself how can I turn this
so I said to myself how can I turn this
so I said to myself how can I turn this to my advantage I know I’m going to do
to my advantage I know I’m going to do
to my advantage I know I’m going to do yoga in here for as long as they live me
yoga in here for as long as they live me
yoga in here for as long as they live me leave me in here
leave me in here
leave me in here and perhaps the silliest yoga position
and perhaps the silliest yoga position
and perhaps the silliest yoga position for a man to be doing in a super
for a man to be doing in a super
for a man to be doing in a super maximum-security prison with serial
maximum-security prison with serial
maximum-security prison with serial killers over here they’re over here gang
killers over here they’re over here gang
killers over here they’re over here gang leaders over there is the hula-hula
leaders over there is the hula-hula
leaders over there is the hula-hula and then I was just going round and
and then I was just going round and
and then I was just going round and round around and I couldn’t help but
round around and I couldn’t help but
round around and I couldn’t help but smile now
smile now
smile now some nights in Supermax prisoners would
some nights in Supermax prisoners would
some nights in Supermax prisoners would talk for all hours they D yell from
talk for all hours they D yell from
talk for all hours they D yell from cell-to-cell and I couldn’t sleep so I
cell-to-cell and I couldn’t sleep so I
cell-to-cell and I couldn’t sleep so I wet toilet paper wrapped plastic around
wet toilet paper wrapped plastic around
wet toilet paper wrapped plastic around it shoved it in my ears I could still
it shoved it in my ears I could still
it shoved it in my ears I could still hear the voices
hear the voices
hear the voices so for again how can I turn this to my
so for again how can I turn this to my
so for again how can I turn this to my advantage I know I’m going to do yoga
advantage I know I’m going to do yoga
advantage I know I’m going to do yoga for as long as they speak at nights
for as long as they speak at nights
for as long as they speak at nights fortunately my dad sent me a book on
fortunately my dad sent me a book on
fortunately my dad sent me a book on extreme yoga that’s how I learned some
extreme yoga that’s how I learned some
extreme yoga that’s how I learned some of these positions so two o’clock in the
of these positions so two o’clock in the
of these positions so two o’clock in the morning
morning
morning redneck guard comes along shines his
redneck guard comes along shines his
redneck guard comes along shines his light into my cell I’m hung upside down
light into my cell I’m hung upside down
light into my cell I’m hung upside down like a bat
like a bat
like a bat he’s like god damn Howard what are you
he’s like god damn Howard what are you
he’s like god damn Howard what are you doing in the yoga my guardian angel in
doing in the yoga my guardian angel in
doing in the yoga my guardian angel in this environment
this environment
this environment was a psychotherapist called
was a psychotherapist called
was a psychotherapist called dr. o he was into neuroscience Eastern
dr. o he was into neuroscience Eastern
dr. o he was into neuroscience Eastern philosophy and we really clicked
philosophy and we really clicked
philosophy and we really clicked he helped me go deep inside myself and
he helped me go deep inside myself and
he helped me go deep inside myself and understand that I’ve been doing those
understand that I’ve been doing those
understand that I’ve been doing those drugs for over ten years because I was
drugs for over ten years because I was
drugs for over ten years because I was self-medicating for post-traumatic
self-medicating for post-traumatic
self-medicating for post-traumatic stress from almost getting killed as a
stress from almost getting killed as a
stress from almost getting killed as a teenager by the drunks he also gave me
teenager by the drunks he also gave me
teenager by the drunks he also gave me advice on dealing with fear and anxiety
advice on dealing with fear and anxiety
advice on dealing with fear and anxiety he said Shawn most of the things you
he said Shawn most of the things you
he said Shawn most of the things you fear never actually happen
fear never actually happen
fear never actually happen ninety percent of these thoughts are
ninety percent of these thoughts are
ninety percent of these thoughts are just a complete and utter waste of
just a complete and utter waste of
just a complete and utter waste of mental energy but even worse the brain
mental energy but even worse the brain
mental energy but even worse the brain has an internal pharmacy so when you’re
has an internal pharmacy so when you’re
has an internal pharmacy so when you’re worried it’s releasing the bad drugs
worried it’s releasing the bad drugs
worried it’s releasing the bad drugs such as the cortisol which damage your
such as the cortisol which damage your
such as the cortisol which damage your immune system that can actually reduce
immune system that can actually reduce
immune system that can actually reduce your life span when you’re happy your
your life span when you’re happy your
your life span when you’re happy your brain is releasing the good stuff the
brain is releasing the good stuff the
brain is releasing the good stuff the endorphins which can increase your
endorphins which can increase your
endorphins which can increase your lifespan and it’s shown that happy
lifespan and it’s shown that happy
lifespan and it’s shown that happy people live up to ten years longer than
people live up to ten years longer than
people live up to ten years longer than negative people you said it’s even worse
negative people you said it’s even worse
negative people you said it’s even worse than that though if you hang out with
than that though if you hang out with
than that though if you hang out with people who are negative and your brain
people who are negative and your brain
people who are negative and your brain so that’s the mirrors and fire off the
so that’s the mirrors and fire off the
so that’s the mirrors and fire off the unhealthy chemicals so in prison I
unhealthy chemicals so in prison I
unhealthy chemicals so in prison I started hanging out with the prison
started hanging out with the prison
started hanging out with the prison intelligentsia this was a minority of
intelligentsia this was a minority of
intelligentsia this was a minority of people in environment or 90% we’re
people in environment or 90% we’re
people in environment or 90% we’re shooting up heroin and crystal meth this
shooting up heroin and crystal meth this
shooting up heroin and crystal meth this was a minority of people a lot of time
was a minority of people a lot of time
was a minority of people a lot of time on the hands to do correspondence
on the hands to do correspondence
on the hands to do correspondence courses get multiple degrees
courses get multiple degrees
courses get multiple degrees and share personal development books dr.
and share personal development books dr.
and share personal development books dr. oz said if you look back on your life
oz said if you look back on your life
oz said if you look back on your life all these times you were stressed out
all these times you were stressed out
all these times you were stressed out there are some major events but most of
there are some major events but most of
there are some major events but most of them are minor events
them are minor events
them are minor events I see people stuck in traffic 5 minutes
I see people stuck in traffic 5 minutes
I see people stuck in traffic 5 minutes late for a fitness class off of work
late for a fitness class off of work
late for a fitness class off of work almost giving themselves heart attacks
almost giving themselves heart attacks
almost giving themselves heart attacks and I’m not mean to that earlier this
and I’m not mean to that earlier this
and I’m not mean to that earlier this year I woke up my internet service was
year I woke up my internet service was
year I woke up my internet service was down it was a week I was publishing a
down it was a week I was publishing a
down it was a week I was publishing a book and files were flying back and
book and files were flying back and
book and files were flying back and forth with my typesetter and every hour
forth with my typesetter and every hour
forth with my typesetter and every hour the internet was down I could feel my
the internet was down I could feel my
the internet was down I could feel my blood pressure rising but I called on a
blood pressure rising but I called on a
blood pressure rising but I called on a technique that dr. o taught me said when
technique that dr. o taught me said when
technique that dr. o taught me said when a minor event happens take a step back
a minor event happens take a step back
a minor event happens take a step back and breathe not just a shallow chest
and breathe not just a shallow chest
and breathe not just a shallow chest breath a nice big full belly breath so
breath a nice big full belly breath so
breath a nice big full belly breath so that’s what I did
that’s what I did
that’s what I did and the clearer light it calmed the
and the clearer light it calmed the
and the clearer light it calmed the Cascade of the chemicals I reminded
Cascade of the chemicals I reminded
Cascade of the chemicals I reminded myself I went six years without internet
myself I went six years without internet
myself I went six years without internet what are you getting so stressed out
what are you getting so stressed out
what are you getting so stressed out about it wasn’t the only thing I went
about it wasn’t the only thing I went
about it wasn’t the only thing I went six years ago I’m talking about sex no
six years ago I’m talking about sex no
six years ago I’m talking about sex no matter how many times I dropped the soap
matter how many times I dropped the soap
matter how many times I dropped the soap in the shower I never got lucky can you
in the shower I never got lucky can you
in the shower I never got lucky can you imagine going 6 years of our internet
imagine going 6 years of our internet
imagine going 6 years of our internet and sex which one would you prefer to
and sex which one would you prefer to
and sex which one would you prefer to lose so another thing to keep my anxiety
lose so another thing to keep my anxiety
lose so another thing to keep my anxiety down I had to learn how to deal with
down I had to learn how to deal with
down I had to learn how to deal with tricky people people who are critical is
tricky people people who are critical is
tricky people people who are critical is one category so say for example someone
one category so say for example someone
one category so say for example someone comes up to you say your public speaking
comes up to you say your public speaking
comes up to you say your public speaking was lousy this evening well my
was lousy this evening well my
was lousy this evening well my meditation teacher he taught me was
meditation teacher he taught me was
meditation teacher he taught me was matter what people say to you you can
matter what people say to you you can
matter what people say to you you can tell your brain to remain undisturbed to
tell your brain to remain undisturbed to
tell your brain to remain undisturbed to not let it in and a way to deflect it is
not let it in and a way to deflect it is
not let it in and a way to deflect it is to just say something bright like thanks
to just say something bright like thanks
to just say something bright like thanks for pointing that out
for pointing that out
for pointing that out you know you’ve gained weight thanks for
you know you’ve gained weight thanks for
you know you’ve gained weight thanks for pointing that out
pointing that out
pointing that out you’re going bald thanks for pointing
you’re going bald thanks for pointing
you’re going bald thanks for pointing that out
that out
that out so perhaps the hardest people to deal
so perhaps the hardest people to deal
so perhaps the hardest people to deal with are angry people and I saw someone
with are angry people and I saw someone
with are angry people and I saw someone handle them masterfully in prison he was
handle them masterfully in prison he was
handle them masterfully in prison he was the head of the Italian mafia in our
the head of the Italian mafia in our
the head of the Italian mafia in our building whenever anyone run into his
building whenever anyone run into his
building whenever anyone run into his cell who was angry about something for
cell who was angry about something for
cell who was angry about something for example my public defender didn’t show
example my public defender didn’t show
example my public defender didn’t show up today when it smashed someone he’d
up today when it smashed someone he’d
up today when it smashed someone he’d take whatever they said and put it in
take whatever they said and put it in
take whatever they said and put it in front of the word rage so we say
front of the word rage so we say
front of the word rage so we say don’t sweat it dog you’ve got public
don’t sweat it dog you’ve got public
don’t sweat it dog you’ve got public defender rage this will pass settle down
defender rage this will pass settle down
defender rage this will pass settle down how could you apply that in everyday
how could you apply that in everyday
how could you apply that in everyday life you’ve got Donald Trump rage do you
life you’ve got Donald Trump rage do you
life you’ve got Donald Trump rage do you think he knows you’re angry about him
think he knows you’re angry about him
think he knows you’re angry about him right now is he worth getting angry
right now is he worth getting angry
right now is he worth getting angry about all you’ve got brexit rage and so
about all you’ve got brexit rage and so
about all you’ve got brexit rage and so on so I managed to serve just under six
on so I managed to serve just under six
on so I managed to serve just under six years and coming out of that environment
years and coming out of that environment
years and coming out of that environment like the world is it seems like a safer
like the world is it seems like a safer
like the world is it seems like a safer place for me and dr. o said you know
place for me and dr. o said you know
place for me and dr. o said you know it’s going to give you resilience that’s
it’s going to give you resilience that’s
it’s going to give you resilience that’s going to last you for the rest of your
going to last you for the rest of your
going to last you for the rest of your life he also said that your anxieties
life he also said that your anxieties
life he also said that your anxieties never going to completely go away some
never going to completely go away some
never going to completely go away some anxiety is actually good for you it
anxiety is actually good for you it
anxiety is actually good for you it sharpens your senses and my job now is I
sharpens your senses and my job now is I
sharpens your senses and my job now is I go in schools I teach them life lessons
go in schools I teach them life lessons
go in schools I teach them life lessons and not to do all the silly stuff that I
and not to do all the silly stuff that I
and not to do all the silly stuff that I did and the first time I went to do a
did and the first time I went to do a
did and the first time I went to do a school talk I was so nervous I couldn’t
school talk I was so nervous I couldn’t
school talk I was so nervous I couldn’t even eat my breakfast what dr. o said if
even eat my breakfast what dr. o said if
even eat my breakfast what dr. o said if you’re afraid of something don’t hide
you’re afraid of something don’t hide
you’re afraid of something don’t hide from it you’ve got to challenge yourself
from it you’ve got to challenge yourself
from it you’ve got to challenge yourself from time to time as well and my
from time to time as well and my
from time to time as well and my challenge today has been to do this TED
challenge today has been to do this TED
challenge today has been to do this TED talk and I hope you’ve enjoyed it thank
talk and I hope you’ve enjoyed it thank
talk and I hope you’ve enjoyed it thank you
”
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