[Music] the flight attendant on the long flight
the flight attendant on the long flight
the flight attendant on the long flight from Chicago to Melbourne was hilarious
from Chicago to Melbourne was hilarious
from Chicago to Melbourne was hilarious throughout the flight he beamed at my
throughout the flight he beamed at my
throughout the flight he beamed at my pregnancy steadied my wobbling body and
pregnancy steadied my wobbling body and
pregnancy steadied my wobbling body and exclaimed practically every hour oh my
exclaimed practically every hour oh my
exclaimed practically every hour oh my god you’re having twins and when he
god you’re having twins and when he
god you’re having twins and when he discovered that I was a doctor you can
discovered that I was a doctor you can
discovered that I was a doctor you can only imagine his curiosity and
only imagine his curiosity and
only imagine his curiosity and excitement but finally finally the
excitement but finally finally the
excitement but finally finally the flight landed he took my hand and said
flight landed he took my hand and said
flight landed he took my hand and said good luck your life is going to be
good luck your life is going to be
good luck your life is going to be amazing it turns out that he was wrong
amazing it turns out that he was wrong
amazing it turns out that he was wrong tragedy led just around the corner in
tragedy led just around the corner in
tragedy led just around the corner in the form of a routine ultrasound with my
the form of a routine ultrasound with my
the form of a routine ultrasound with my new obstetrician I was young fit and
new obstetrician I was young fit and
new obstetrician I was young fit and poised to have twins who’s also poised
poised to have twins who’s also poised
poised to have twins who’s also poised to become an oncologist life was good
to become an oncologist life was good
to become an oncologist life was good the veteran obstetrician and I chatted
the veteran obstetrician and I chatted
the veteran obstetrician and I chatted away and I would have missed the
away and I would have missed the
away and I would have missed the expression on his face had it not been
expression on his face had it not been
expression on his face had it not been for the sharp
for the sharp
for the sharp prod of his probe into my abdomen I
prod of his probe into my abdomen I
prod of his probe into my abdomen I didn’t know the doctor but I knew that
didn’t know the doctor but I knew that
didn’t know the doctor but I knew that expression it was the kind of expression
expression it was the kind of expression
expression it was the kind of expression I imagined I would wear when looking at
I imagined I would wear when looking at
I imagined I would wear when looking at bad scans and progressive disease but
bad scans and progressive disease but
bad scans and progressive disease but even before I had an opportunity to
even before I had an opportunity to
even before I had an opportunity to frame a question he had rushed out
frame a question he had rushed out
frame a question he had rushed out through the door through the closed door
through the door through the closed door
through the door through the closed door I heard whispered exchanges and I knew I
I heard whispered exchanges and I knew I
I heard whispered exchanges and I knew I was in trouble but how much trouble I
followed the obstetrician into a cramped
followed the obstetrician into a cramped space obviously not set up for
space obviously not set up for
space obviously not set up for unexpected encounters he gave me his
unexpected encounters he gave me his
unexpected encounters he gave me his comfortable chair and took the hard one
comfortable chair and took the hard one
comfortable chair and took the hard one the concern on his face now evident I
the concern on his face now evident I
the concern on his face now evident I still had no idea
I’m afraid I have bad news he said for a
I’m afraid I have bad news he said for a fleeting moment I thought that my
fleeting moment I thought that my
fleeting moment I thought that my medical brain would kick in and I would
medical brain would kick in and I would
medical brain would kick in and I would pummel him with sophisticated questions
pummel him with sophisticated questions
pummel him with sophisticated questions to challenge his assertion that my twins
to challenge his assertion that my twins
to challenge his assertion that my twins were gravely ill but of course I was
were gravely ill but of course I was
were gravely ill but of course I was like every other patient my mind burning
like every other patient my mind burning
like every other patient my mind burning with questions while my voice was numbed
with questions while my voice was numbed
with questions while my voice was numbed by shock of course I also knew that
by shock of course I also knew that
by shock of course I also knew that doctors sometimes sidestepped the truth
doctors sometimes sidestepped the truth
doctors sometimes sidestepped the truth usually with the intent of protecting
usually with the intent of protecting
usually with the intent of protecting the patient he could have asked me to
the patient he could have asked me to
the patient he could have asked me to wait for tests and more doctors but I
wait for tests and more doctors but I
wait for tests and more doctors but I knew that he knew and I wanted him to
knew that he knew and I wanted him to
knew that he knew and I wanted him to tell me the truth so all the questions
tell me the truth so all the questions
tell me the truth so all the questions that I could have asked him I asked the
that I could have asked him I asked the
that I could have asked him I asked the only question that mattered will they
only question that mattered will they
only question that mattered will they die yes he said holding my gates until
die yes he said holding my gates until
die yes he said holding my gates until tears started streaming down his face
tears started streaming down his face
tears started streaming down his face and he made no attempt to wipe them I
and he made no attempt to wipe them I
and he made no attempt to wipe them I was struck then by the profound
was struck then by the profound
was struck then by the profound realization that in all my years of
realization that in all my years of
realization that in all my years of medical education and training I had
medical education and training I had
medical education and training I had never seen a doctor cry in front of a
never seen a doctor cry in front of a
never seen a doctor cry in front of a patient surely those years had produced
patient surely those years had produced
patient surely those years had produced no end of tragedy and I had heard
no end of tragedy and I had heard
no end of tragedy and I had heard remorse regret expressions of sigh but I
remorse regret expressions of sigh but I
remorse regret expressions of sigh but I had never seen a doctor cry my mind
had never seen a doctor cry my mind
had never seen a doctor cry my mind continued to burn with questions from
continued to burn with questions from
continued to burn with questions from the extraordinary to the mundane what
the extraordinary to the mundane what
the extraordinary to the mundane what happened when in nutrit winds were dying
happened when in nutrit winds were dying
happened when in nutrit winds were dying was something awful about to happen to
was something awful about to happen to
was something awful about to happen to me as well and how did one pay for this
me as well and how did one pay for this
me as well and how did one pay for this life-changing encounter with credit or
life-changing encounter with credit or
life-changing encounter with credit or cash meanwhile my doctor said nothing he
cash meanwhile my doctor said nothing he
cash meanwhile my doctor said nothing he didn’t offer any brainy solutions nor
didn’t offer any brainy solutions nor
didn’t offer any brainy solutions nor trite platitudes he didn’t tell me that
trite platitudes he didn’t tell me that
trite platitudes he didn’t tell me that he understood
he understood
he understood he didn’t tell me that things would be
he didn’t tell me that things would be
he didn’t tell me that things would be okay
okay
okay and he certainly didn’t tell me to look
and he certainly didn’t tell me to look
and he certainly didn’t tell me to look on the bright side instead
on the bright side instead
on the bright side instead my doctor said quietly and allowed me to
my doctor said quietly and allowed me to
my doctor said quietly and allowed me to do the same and while it may have seemed
do the same and while it may have seemed
do the same and while it may have seemed to him like a thousand years gone by to
to him like a thousand years gone by to
to him like a thousand years gone by to me those few moments gave me the
me those few moments gave me the
me those few moments gave me the greatest gift the gift of composure I
don’t know what to say
don’t know what to say he finally murmured his eyes still moist
he finally murmured his eyes still moist
he finally murmured his eyes still moist tell me you can fix it I thought instead
tell me you can fix it I thought instead
tell me you can fix it I thought instead I asked are you sure yes he responded
I asked are you sure yes he responded
I asked are you sure yes he responded his honesty stung but he had told me the
his honesty stung but he had told me the
his honesty stung but he had told me the unflinching truth and in doing so almost
unflinching truth and in doing so almost
unflinching truth and in doing so almost surgically displaced any uncertainty
surgically displaced any uncertainty
surgically displaced any uncertainty with the knowledge that I needed to
with the knowledge that I needed to
with the knowledge that I needed to prepare myself for what lay ahead
prepare myself for what lay ahead
prepare myself for what lay ahead later that day I had test after test and
later that day I had test after test and
later that day I had test after test and saw doctor after doctor but I cooked
saw doctor after doctor but I cooked
saw doctor after doctor but I cooked better because the first doctor had told
better because the first doctor had told
better because the first doctor had told me the truth it’s difficult to know what
me the truth it’s difficult to know what
me the truth it’s difficult to know what sort of an oncologist I might have
sort of an oncologist I might have
sort of an oncologist I might have become had it not been for the searing
become had it not been for the searing
become had it not been for the searing experience of my personal loss but what
experience of my personal loss but what
experience of my personal loss but what my loss showed me is that while
my loss showed me is that while
my loss showed me is that while technical skills matter what matters
technical skills matter what matters
technical skills matter what matters most of all is the art of Medicine
most of all is the art of Medicine
most of all is the art of Medicine humanity humility compassion navigating
humanity humility compassion navigating
humanity humility compassion navigating uncertainty telling the truth these are
uncertainty telling the truth these are
uncertainty telling the truth these are the things that our patients remember us
the things that our patients remember us
the things that our patients remember us for and I know that long after my
for and I know that long after my
for and I know that long after my medical drama was over
medical drama was over
medical drama was over what stayed with me was that my doctor
what stayed with me was that my doctor
what stayed with me was that my doctor had shared my sorrow somehow it made my
had shared my sorrow somehow it made my
had shared my sorrow somehow it made my sorrow seemed less maddening less
sorrow seemed less maddening less
sorrow seemed less maddening less personal more bearable this experience
personal more bearable this experience
personal more bearable this experience as a patient has been the guiding light
as a patient has been the guiding light
as a patient has been the guiding light of my career as a doctor
you know the flight attendant was right
you know the flight attendant was right my life did turn out to be amazing I
my life did turn out to be amazing I
my life did turn out to be amazing I went on to have healthy children a
went on to have healthy children a
went on to have healthy children a fulfilling career and opportunities like
fulfilling career and opportunities like
fulfilling career and opportunities like this and to be honest it’s not very
this and to be honest it’s not very
this and to be honest it’s not very often that I dwell on the loss of the
often that I dwell on the loss of the
often that I dwell on the loss of the twins but I’m only human and every now
twins but I’m only human and every now
twins but I’m only human and every now and then I do catch myself thinking
and then I do catch myself thinking
and then I do catch myself thinking about what they might have been like and
about what they might have been like and
about what they might have been like and at times like this I like to think that
at times like this I like to think that
at times like this I like to think that I’m saying to the twins that their loss
I’m saying to the twins that their loss
I’m saying to the twins that their loss was not in vain if at every bedside and
was not in vain if at every bedside and
was not in vain if at every bedside and at every encounter
at every encounter
at every encounter I remember the importance of the art of
I remember the importance of the art of
I remember the importance of the art of Medicine
Medicine
Medicine [Applause]
”
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