On January 14th 2013 I posted this discussion topic of the day to my
discussion topic of the day to my
discussion topic of the day to my Facebook page just to see what would
Facebook page just to see what would
Facebook page just to see what would happen
happen
happen I got a few interesting responses and so
I got a few interesting responses and so
I got a few interesting responses and so the next day I did the same thing and
the next day I did the same thing and
the next day I did the same thing and the next and every weekday since in the
the next and every weekday since in the
the next and every weekday since in the last almost 5 years I have asked my
last almost 5 years I have asked my
last almost 5 years I have asked my Facebook friends nearly 1300 questions
Facebook friends nearly 1300 questions
Facebook friends nearly 1300 questions just to see what they would say I
just to see what they would say I
just to see what they would say I started doing this because frankly I was
started doing this because frankly I was
started doing this because frankly I was sick of watching my friends all of whom
sick of watching my friends all of whom
sick of watching my friends all of whom I knew to be incredibly interesting
I knew to be incredibly interesting
I knew to be incredibly interesting people having the same 5 conversations
people having the same 5 conversations
people having the same 5 conversations and 3 arguments over and over again
and 3 arguments over and over again
and 3 arguments over and over again according to my dad I have been asking
according to my dad I have been asking
according to my dad I have been asking questions since about 3 minutes after
questions since about 3 minutes after
questions since about 3 minutes after conception and I have been thinking
conception and I have been thinking
conception and I have been thinking about and studying their form and
about and studying their form and
about and studying their form and functionality seriously for at least the
functionality seriously for at least the
functionality seriously for at least the last four years if there is one thing I
last four years if there is one thing I
last four years if there is one thing I have learned from this project that I
have learned from this project that I
have learned from this project that I never really intended to be a project at
never really intended to be a project at
never really intended to be a project at all it’s that questions are pretty darn
all it’s that questions are pretty darn
all it’s that questions are pretty darn awesome questions are also an incredibly
awesome questions are also an incredibly
awesome questions are also an incredibly important part of the conversations we
important part of the conversations we
important part of the conversations we create of having more respectful
create of having more respectful
create of having more respectful communication between people and more
communication between people and more
communication between people and more honest dialogue with ourselves now there
honest dialogue with ourselves now there
honest dialogue with ourselves now there are at least 50 Ted and TEDx talks alone
are at least 50 Ted and TEDx talks alone
are at least 50 Ted and TEDx talks alone already encouraging us to ask questions
already encouraging us to ask questions
already encouraging us to ask questions telling us that we should ask better
telling us that we should ask better
telling us that we should ask better questions and even giving us formulas
questions and even giving us formulas
questions and even giving us formulas for great questions nine of those
for great questions nine of those
for great questions nine of those speeches reference one quote by Albert
speeches reference one quote by Albert
speeches reference one quote by Albert Einstein and over half reference
Einstein and over half reference
Einstein and over half reference Socrates in the Socratic method this is
Socrates in the Socratic method this is
Socrates in the Socratic method this is not going to be one of those speeches
not going to be one of those speeches
not going to be one of those speeches for one thing I will never argue that
for one thing I will never argue that
for one thing I will never argue that there is such a thing as a good question
there is such a thing as a good question
there is such a thing as a good question or a bad question because frankly I
or a bad question because frankly I
or a bad question because frankly I don’t think that that’s a case I think
don’t think that that’s a case I think
don’t think that that’s a case I think that every question no matter how
that every question no matter how
that every question no matter how awkwardly constructed how completely
awkwardly constructed how completely
awkwardly constructed how completely inappropriate or how totally passive a
inappropriate or how totally passive a
inappropriate or how totally passive a civ is still an invitation to
civ is still an invitation to
civ is still an invitation to conversation and it is up to the person
conversation and it is up to the person
conversation and it is up to the person asking as much as the person being asked
asking as much as the person being asked
asking as much as the person being asked to actively accept or reject that
to actively accept or reject that
to actively accept or reject that invitation now like party invitations
invitation now like party invitations
invitation now like party invitations not all questions are created the same
not all questions are created the same
not all questions are created the same far from it questions are created by
far from it questions are created by
far from it questions are created by consciousness which can be a very messy
consciousness which can be a very messy
consciousness which can be a very messy place to hang out even going back for
place to hang out even going back for
place to hang out even going back for years I can tell some of the most
years I can tell some of the most
years I can tell some of the most stressful times in my life by the kinds
stressful times in my life by the kinds
stressful times in my life by the kinds of questions I asked
of questions I asked
of questions I asked 2:07 how do you prioritize 2:09 what do
2:07 how do you prioritize 2:09 what do
2:07 how do you prioritize 2:09 what do you consider a good work-life balance
you consider a good work-life balance
you consider a good work-life balance and 2:16
and 2:16
and 2:16 what does giving up mean to you the form
what does giving up mean to you the form
what does giving up mean to you the form the structure even the topics of those
the structure even the topics of those
the structure even the topics of those questions all reveal a lot about what
questions all reveal a lot about what
questions all reveal a lot about what was going on in my head at the time and
was going on in my head at the time and
was going on in my head at the time and in thinking about how questions frame
in thinking about how questions frame
in thinking about how questions frame conversation like that I’ve come to the
conversation like that I’ve come to the
conversation like that I’ve come to the conclusion that what we need is a
conclusion that what we need is a
conclusion that what we need is a taxonomy of questions a way to
taxonomy of questions a way to
taxonomy of questions a way to categorize how questions function in
categorize how questions function in
categorize how questions function in conversation how they impact one another
conversation how they impact one another
conversation how they impact one another and how they impact us now there have
and how they impact us now there have
and how they impact us now there have been attempts to categorize questions
been attempts to categorize questions
been attempts to categorize questions before Benjamin blooms educational
before Benjamin blooms educational
before Benjamin blooms educational taxonomy of questions is probably one of
taxonomy of questions is probably one of
taxonomy of questions is probably one of the most familiar especially if you are
the most familiar especially if you are
the most familiar especially if you are a teacher but what this and dozens of
a teacher but what this and dozens of
a teacher but what this and dozens of other categorization systems miss is
other categorization systems miss is
other categorization systems miss is that it is not about what questions do
that it is not about what questions do
that it is not about what questions do for us questions are a living part of
for us questions are a living part of
for us questions are a living part of the conversations we create and
the conversations we create and
the conversations we create and therefore they are worth being
therefore they are worth being
therefore they are worth being understood for what they are and for
understood for what they are and for
understood for what they are and for what they can be so I would propose a
what they can be so I would propose a
what they can be so I would propose a three category taxonomy of questions
three category taxonomy of questions
three category taxonomy of questions informational rhetorical and exploratory
informational rhetorical and exploratory
informational rhetorical and exploratory to define how questions are both asked
to define how questions are both asked
to define how questions are both asked and how questions are received the first
and how questions are received the first
and how questions are received the first category is informational these are the
category is informational these are the
category is informational these are the questions that are asked
questions that are asked
questions that are asked some kind of information already
some kind of information already
some kind of information already available or that we kind of have
available or that we kind of have
available or that we kind of have figured out we asked them because the
figured out we asked them because the
figured out we asked them because the information would be useful to us or
information would be useful to us or
information would be useful to us or because we have been as Michael from
because we have been as Michael from
because we have been as Michael from Vsauce puts it kicked in the curiosity
Vsauce puts it kicked in the curiosity
Vsauce puts it kicked in the curiosity these are questions like how many
these are questions like how many
these are questions like how many questions a day does a toddler ask 1200
questions a day does a toddler ask 1200
questions a day does a toddler ask 1200 for the record or 1141 how many miles a
for the record or 1141 how many miles a
for the record or 1141 how many miles a day do you walk or even 688 what is your
day do you walk or even 688 what is your
day do you walk or even 688 what is your go-to small talk topic these are the
go-to small talk topic these are the
go-to small talk topic these are the questions we deal with day in and day
questions we deal with day in and day
questions we deal with day in and day out we could easily Google the answers
out we could easily Google the answers
out we could easily Google the answers or there’s something that we kind of
or there’s something that we kind of
or there’s something that we kind of have figured out in our head if they do
have figured out in our head if they do
have figured out in our head if they do come up in small talk and I’ll let you
come up in small talk and I’ll let you
come up in small talk and I’ll let you in on a little secret I love small talk
in on a little secret I love small talk
in on a little secret I love small talk now don’t get me wrong I am absolutely
now don’t get me wrong I am absolutely
now don’t get me wrong I am absolutely terrible at it I have this tendency to
terrible at it I have this tendency to
terrible at it I have this tendency to be very awkward and I ask these
be very awkward and I ask these
be very awkward and I ask these questions that frankly nobody has a
questions that frankly nobody has a
questions that frankly nobody has a scripted response for but small talk
scripted response for but small talk
scripted response for but small talk serves as that initial conversational
serves as that initial conversational
serves as that initial conversational ritual that builds social connection and
ritual that builds social connection and
ritual that builds social connection and builds trust so larger conversations can
builds trust so larger conversations can
builds trust so larger conversations can be had and more intimate questions can
be had and more intimate questions can
be had and more intimate questions can be asked and how somebody constructs an
be asked and how somebody constructs an
be asked and how somebody constructs an informational question and how they
informational question and how they
informational question and how they script their response to it can also be
script their response to it can also be
script their response to it can also be very illustrative about how they view
very illustrative about how they view
very illustrative about how they view the world though not nearly as
the world though not nearly as
the world though not nearly as illustrative as the second category of
illustrative as the second category of
illustrative as the second category of questions
questions
questions rhetorical these are the questions asked
rhetorical these are the questions asked
rhetorical these are the questions asked where the person asking generally knows
where the person asking generally knows
where the person asking generally knows what kind of an answer they expect to
what kind of an answer they expect to
what kind of an answer they expect to get these are literally begging the
get these are literally begging the
get these are literally begging the question they are begging for a
question they are begging for a
question they are begging for a viewpoint to be confirmed they’re
viewpoint to be confirmed they’re
viewpoint to be confirmed they’re begging for a worldview to be shared or
begging for a worldview to be shared or
begging for a worldview to be shared or for an argument to be had when I was
for an argument to be had when I was
for an argument to be had when I was growing up my mom owned a catering
growing up my mom owned a catering
growing up my mom owned a catering business and reception center and in
business and reception center and in
business and reception center and in helping with the innumerable weddings
helping with the innumerable weddings
helping with the innumerable weddings over the years I learned that there is
over the years I learned that there is
over the years I learned that there is always going to be one
always going to be one
always going to be one uncle or aunt or very sweet grandmother
uncle or aunt or very sweet grandmother
uncle or aunt or very sweet grandmother who walks up to the couple in the
who walks up to the couple in the
who walks up to the couple in the receiving line and says so when are you
receiving line and says so when are you
receiving line and says so when are you two gonna get started on a family it’s a
two gonna get started on a family it’s a
two gonna get started on a family it’s a kind of conversation nobody wants to
kind of conversation nobody wants to
kind of conversation nobody wants to have at their wedding in the receiving
have at their wedding in the receiving
have at their wedding in the receiving line with their grandmother it also
line with their grandmother it also
line with their grandmother it also reveals that said relative asking
reveals that said relative asking
reveals that said relative asking doesn’t really believe that getting
doesn’t really believe that getting
doesn’t really believe that getting married is in and of itself starting a
married is in and of itself starting a
married is in and of itself starting a family
family
family however weddings are also the home to a
however weddings are also the home to a
however weddings are also the home to a very different set of rhetorical
very different set of rhetorical
very different set of rhetorical questions with a very different set of
questions with a very different set of
questions with a very different set of assumptions behind them namely do you
assumptions behind them namely do you
assumptions behind them namely do you take this person to be your lawfully
take this person to be your lawfully
take this person to be your lawfully wedded spouse if you don’t know what the
wedded spouse if you don’t know what the
wedded spouse if you don’t know what the answer to that question is well you
answer to that question is well you
answer to that question is well you might want to examine how exactly you
might want to examine how exactly you
might want to examine how exactly you have arrived at that moment in your life
how you’ve arrived at that moment at
how you’ve arrived at that moment at least in many good relationships often
least in many good relationships often
least in many good relationships often begins with a whole lot of the third
begins with a whole lot of the third
begins with a whole lot of the third category of questions
category of questions
category of questions exploratory these are the questions that
exploratory these are the questions that
exploratory these are the questions that open the door and invite in conversation
open the door and invite in conversation
open the door and invite in conversation they may or may not be open-ended
they may or may not be open-ended
they may or may not be open-ended questions but they are the questions
questions but they are the questions
questions but they are the questions that hacked as the kickoff or the pit
that hacked as the kickoff or the pit
that hacked as the kickoff or the pit stop of an intellectual adventure these
stop of an intellectual adventure these
stop of an intellectual adventure these are the questions of memory of feeling
are the questions of memory of feeling
are the questions of memory of feeling and of opinion these are the questions
and of opinion these are the questions
and of opinion these are the questions that we often shy away from asking
that we often shy away from asking
that we often shy away from asking though I think we would all benefit from
though I think we would all benefit from
though I think we would all benefit from engaging with just a little bit more
engaging with just a little bit more
engaging with just a little bit more these are questions like 18 when is a
these are questions like 18 when is a
these are questions like 18 when is a habit worth breaking to 26 what has been
habit worth breaking to 26 what has been
habit worth breaking to 26 what has been your most transformative life experience
your most transformative life experience
your most transformative life experience so far or even 5:52 if you were to give
so far or even 5:52 if you were to give
so far or even 5:52 if you were to give a TED style talk what would it be about
a TED style talk what would it be about
a TED style talk what would it be about I think I was about two years early on
I think I was about two years early on
I think I was about two years early on that one
that one
that one now it’s important to note that this
now it’s important to note that this
now it’s important to note that this taxonomy like all categorization systems
taxonomy like all categorization systems
taxonomy like all categorization systems isn’t perfect things don’t always neatly
isn’t perfect things don’t always neatly
isn’t perfect things don’t always neatly fit into one category or another and
fit into one category or another and
fit into one category or another and between how a question is asked and
between how a question is asked and
between how a question is asked and received between how a question is
received between how a question is
received between how a question is constructed and interpreted many
constructed and interpreted many
constructed and interpreted many questions end up more more like this guy
questions end up more more like this guy
questions end up more more like this guy and like our egg-laying duck-billed
and like our egg-laying duck-billed
and like our egg-laying duck-billed mammal friend the platypus reminds us
mammal friend the platypus reminds us
mammal friend the platypus reminds us mixing things up a little isn’t always
mixing things up a little isn’t always
mixing things up a little isn’t always such a bad thing the scientific method
such a bad thing the scientific method
such a bad thing the scientific method begins with exploratory questions and
begins with exploratory questions and
begins with exploratory questions and then narrows things down into
then narrows things down into
then narrows things down into informational questions that can be
informational questions that can be
informational questions that can be tested one of my personal favorite
tested one of my personal favorite
tested one of my personal favorite pastimes is responding to rhetorical
pastimes is responding to rhetorical
pastimes is responding to rhetorical questions with honest informational
questions with honest informational
questions with honest informational inquiries so tell me grandma how do you
inquiries so tell me grandma how do you
inquiries so tell me grandma how do you get started on a family
in fact because questions serve as the
in fact because questions serve as the antithesis to assumption is it my belief
antithesis to assumption is it my belief
antithesis to assumption is it my belief that asking a question is one of the
that asking a question is one of the
that asking a question is one of the most respectful acts that you can engage
most respectful acts that you can engage
most respectful acts that you can engage in one study found that by the age of
in one study found that by the age of
in one study found that by the age of fourteen we asked half as many questions
fourteen we asked half as many questions
fourteen we asked half as many questions as we did when we were just four years
as we did when we were just four years
as we did when we were just four years old you can spend an entire lifetime
old you can spend an entire lifetime
old you can spend an entire lifetime studying the question why but the fact
studying the question why but the fact
studying the question why but the fact is it happens and when we are faced with
is it happens and when we are faced with
is it happens and when we are faced with a lack of information that comes at
a lack of information that comes at
a lack of information that comes at least partially from not asking
least partially from not asking
least partially from not asking questions then we have this tendency to
questions then we have this tendency to
questions then we have this tendency to fill in our own thoughts and ideas our
fill in our own thoughts and ideas our
fill in our own thoughts and ideas our own experiences and morals our own
own experiences and morals our own
own experiences and morals our own framework and answers but when we are
framework and answers but when we are
framework and answers but when we are willing to swallow our pride look just a
willing to swallow our pride look just a
willing to swallow our pride look just a little bit silly and ask a question then
little bit silly and ask a question then
little bit silly and ask a question then we are creating a shared framework for
we are creating a shared framework for
we are creating a shared framework for communication we are opening ourselves
communication we are opening ourselves
communication we are opening ourselves up to possibility questions allow a
up to possibility questions allow a
up to possibility questions allow a weakness no matter how small in the
weakness no matter how small in the
weakness no matter how small in the armor of our assumptions to show and I
armor of our assumptions to show and I
armor of our assumptions to show and I consider that to be an extraordinarily
consider that to be an extraordinarily
consider that to be an extraordinarily respectful act this is a point that was
respectful act this is a point that was
respectful act this is a point that was driven home to me when I asked this
driven home to me when I asked this
driven home to me when I asked this question 198 do you give blood why or
question 198 do you give blood why or
question 198 do you give blood why or why not
why not
why not now this could be taken as an
now this could be taken as an
now this could be taken as an informational question do you give what
informational question do you give what
informational question do you give what as a rhetorical question do you give
as a rhetorical question do you give
as a rhetorical question do you give blood oh why not or even as an
blood oh why not or even as an
blood oh why not or even as an exploratory question asking for people’s
exploratory question asking for people’s
exploratory question asking for people’s experiences of blood donation this was
experiences of blood donation this was
experiences of blood donation this was the most commented on question in the
the most commented on question in the
the most commented on question in the first 500 that I asked and answer people
first 500 that I asked and answer people
first 500 that I asked and answer people did some said they felt it was their
did some said they felt it was their
did some said they felt it was their moral duty to give blood others said
moral duty to give blood others said
moral duty to give blood others said that they were afraid of needles would
that they were afraid of needles would
that they were afraid of needles would pass out and there was no way that was
pass out and there was no way that was
pass out and there was no way that was ever happening and then one person
ever happening and then one person
ever happening and then one person jumped in and said that while he
jumped in and said that while he
jumped in and said that while he he desperately wanted to give blood he
he desperately wanted to give blood he
he desperately wanted to give blood he couldn’t because of the ban on sexually
couldn’t because of the ban on sexually
couldn’t because of the ban on sexually active gay men doing so several people
active gay men doing so several people
active gay men doing so several people responded with surprise they had no idea
responded with surprise they had no idea
responded with surprise they had no idea that such a ban was in place and from
that such a ban was in place and from
that such a ban was in place and from what I’ve been told that conversation
what I’ve been told that conversation
what I’ve been told that conversation moved from the public realm into the
moved from the public realm into the
moved from the public realm into the private realm where everybody involved
private realm where everybody involved
private realm where everybody involved learned a little bit something new and
learned a little bit something new and
learned a little bit something new and that’s the thing about the space that
that’s the thing about the space that
that’s the thing about the space that questions create it can only be useful
questions create it can only be useful
questions create it can only be useful if everybody involved is willing to
if everybody involved is willing to
if everybody involved is willing to actually hold and utilize that space for
actually hold and utilize that space for
actually hold and utilize that space for the opportunity it creates if somebody
the opportunity it creates if somebody
the opportunity it creates if somebody asks you a question then you can only
asks you a question then you can only
asks you a question then you can only take responsibility for how you
take responsibility for how you
take responsibility for how you interpret and respond to that question
interpret and respond to that question
interpret and respond to that question if you are asking somebody else a
if you are asking somebody else a
if you are asking somebody else a question then you can only take
question then you can only take
question then you can only take responsibility for how you construct and
responsibility for how you construct and
responsibility for how you construct and ask the question it is a two-way street
ask the question it is a two-way street
ask the question it is a two-way street that relies on taking personal
that relies on taking personal
that relies on taking personal responsibility on a small amount of
responsibility on a small amount of
responsibility on a small amount of trust and I’m being willing to look like
trust and I’m being willing to look like
trust and I’m being willing to look like maybe just just maybe you don’t know
maybe just just maybe you don’t know
maybe just just maybe you don’t know everything
authoritarian conversation personally or
authoritarian conversation personally or politically relies on people being okay
politically relies on people being okay
politically relies on people being okay with questions not being honestly asked
with questions not being honestly asked
with questions not being honestly asked and answered
and answered
and answered democratic conversation personally or
democratic conversation personally or
democratic conversation personally or politically relies on participation it
politically relies on participation it
politically relies on participation it is your job to show up to decide to
is your job to show up to decide to
is your job to show up to decide to participate and to respect the time and
participate and to respect the time and
participate and to respect the time and energy it takes for others to do the
energy it takes for others to do the
energy it takes for others to do the exact same this is why I think there is
exact same this is why I think there is
exact same this is why I think there is not really such a thing as a bad
not really such a thing as a bad
not really such a thing as a bad question because even a bad question can
question because even a bad question can
question because even a bad question can open up the door for conversation if
open up the door for conversation if
open up the door for conversation if everybody involved is willing to treat
everybody involved is willing to treat
everybody involved is willing to treat it like an actual question and not like
it like an actual question and not like
it like an actual question and not like some kind of statement of fact you know
some kind of statement of fact you know
some kind of statement of fact you know there’s even this linguistic quirk
there’s even this linguistic quirk
there’s even this linguistic quirk called up top or high rising terminal
called up top or high rising terminal
called up top or high rising terminal that allows you to turn any
that allows you to turn any
that allows you to turn any went into a question simply by lifting
went into a question simply by lifting
went into a question simply by lifting your tone at the end it’s my argument
your tone at the end it’s my argument
your tone at the end it’s my argument that lifting your tone asking a question
that lifting your tone asking a question
that lifting your tone asking a question opening yourself up has a subconscious
opening yourself up has a subconscious
opening yourself up has a subconscious impact it opens us to that conversation
impact it opens us to that conversation
impact it opens us to that conversation it opens us to other people yeah that is
it opens us to other people yeah that is
it opens us to other people yeah that is an incredibly vulnerable place to be in
an incredibly vulnerable place to be in
an incredibly vulnerable place to be in but that is what makes it so incredibly
but that is what makes it so incredibly
but that is what makes it so incredibly powerful human beings are at our
powerful human beings are at our
powerful human beings are at our absolute best when we are learning when
absolute best when we are learning when
absolute best when we are learning when we are open to conversation when we are
we are open to conversation when we are
we are open to conversation when we are open to intellectual adventure after all
open to intellectual adventure after all
open to intellectual adventure after all a question is not some kind of personal
a question is not some kind of personal
a question is not some kind of personal attack a question as a gift it is the
attack a question as a gift it is the
attack a question as a gift it is the gift of intellectual advance it is the
gift of intellectual advance it is the
gift of intellectual advance it is the gift of connection it is the gift of
gift of connection it is the gift of
gift of connection it is the gift of communication it is the gift of our very
communication it is the gift of our very
communication it is the gift of our very humanity in letters to a young poet it
humanity in letters to a young poet it
humanity in letters to a young poet it was written I beg of you as well as I
was written I beg of you as well as I
was written I beg of you as well as I can to try and love the questions
can to try and love the questions
can to try and love the questions themselves and so today I ask you what
themselves and so today I ask you what
themselves and so today I ask you what is your relationship to questions thank
is your relationship to questions thank
is your relationship to questions thank you
”
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