[Applause] thank you guys for having me out today
thank you guys for having me out today
thank you guys for having me out today okay so who has a watch on can somebody
okay so who has a watch on can somebody
okay so who has a watch on can somebody go ahead hit start stop okay one point
go ahead hit start stop okay one point
go ahead hit start stop okay one point two five seconds one point two five
two five seconds one point two five
two five seconds one point two five seconds how long does it take to make
seconds how long does it take to make
seconds how long does it take to make history for me it took one point two
history for me it took one point two
history for me it took one point two five seconds to become the first woman
five seconds to become the first woman
five seconds to become the first woman to kick in a major college football game
to kick in a major college football game
to kick in a major college football game one point two five seconds and well
one point two five seconds and well
one point two five seconds and well eight years eight years that was filled
eight years eight years that was filled
eight years eight years that was filled with heartache hard work joy pain 100
with heartache hard work joy pain 100
with heartache hard work joy pain 100 really stinky sweaty guys I’ve been
really stinky sweaty guys I’ve been
really stinky sweaty guys I’ve been playing football with the boys now for
playing football with the boys now for
playing football with the boys now for about 20 years it’s hard hard for me to
about 20 years it’s hard hard for me to
about 20 years it’s hard hard for me to believe that it’s Benna that long it
believe that it’s Benna that long it
believe that it’s Benna that long it started when I was 14 years old I was in
started when I was 14 years old I was in
started when I was 14 years old I was in my backyard and I found out that I had a
my backyard and I found out that I had a
my backyard and I found out that I had a knack for kicking footballs sure enough
knack for kicking footballs sure enough
knack for kicking footballs sure enough our high school team needed a kicker and
our high school team needed a kicker and
our high school team needed a kicker and I thought what the heck why not I loved
I thought what the heck why not I loved
I thought what the heck why not I loved football okay so a few what the heck why
football okay so a few what the heck why
football okay so a few what the heck why nots later I ended up on my high school
nots later I ended up on my high school
nots later I ended up on my high school team and also ended up with a new dream
team and also ended up with a new dream
team and also ended up with a new dream of being the first woman to play in a
of being the first woman to play in a
of being the first woman to play in a division one football game i also had
division one football game i also had
division one football game i also had found my passion I loved kicking I love
found my passion I loved kicking I love
found my passion I loved kicking I love kicking still love kicking more than
kicking still love kicking more than
kicking still love kicking more than anything that you could possibly imagine
anything that you could possibly imagine
anything that you could possibly imagine it just it’s my saying you know how we
it just it’s my saying you know how we
it just it’s my saying you know how we have our stuff that we love the things
have our stuff that we love the things
have our stuff that we love the things that we just love to do that is what
that we just love to do that is what
that we just love to do that is what kicking is for me so during my four
kicking is for me so during my four
kicking is for me so during my four years my senior year I ended up leading
years my senior year I ended up leading
years my senior year I ended up leading the state of Colorado where I’m from for
the state of Colorado where I’m from for
the state of Colorado where I’m from for a lot of the season in kicks made and I
a lot of the season in kicks made and I
a lot of the season in kicks made and I ended up being a day news story not just
ended up being a day news story not just
ended up being a day news story not just the local news but also Sports
the local news but also Sports
the local news but also Sports Illustrated and People magazine but much
Illustrated and People magazine but much
Illustrated and People magazine but much more exciting for me was the colleges
more exciting for me was the colleges
more exciting for me was the colleges that were interested in
that were interested in
that were interested in having me come kick it seemed like a you
having me come kick it seemed like a you
having me come kick it seemed like a you know complete dream come true but there
know complete dream come true but there
know complete dream come true but there was one place that I really wanted to go
was one place that I really wanted to go
was one place that I really wanted to go not one place was the university of
not one place was the university of
not one place was the university of colorado school that i had grown up
colorado school that i had grown up
colorado school that i had grown up cheering for and loving so when i had
cheering for and loving so when i had
cheering for and loving so when i had the opportunity to go there i thought
the opportunity to go there i thought
the opportunity to go there i thought this is going to be great there had
this is going to be great there had
this is going to be great there had never been a woman who had played on a
never been a woman who had played on a
never been a woman who had played on a division one football team before but i
division one football team before but i
division one football team before but i thought that my work ethic skill and
thought that my work ethic skill and
thought that my work ethic skill and just complete love for the game would
just complete love for the game would
just complete love for the game would take me through anything and
take me through anything and
take me through anything and unfortunately i couldn’t have been more
unfortunately i couldn’t have been more
unfortunately i couldn’t have been more wrong i went up to see you and on my
wrong i went up to see you and on my
wrong i went up to see you and on my first day there one of the linemen came
first day there one of the linemen came
first day there one of the linemen came up to me and he said go home girls can’t
up to me and he said go home girls can’t
up to me and he said go home girls can’t play football and I was like what I
play football and I was like what I
play football and I was like what I thought this guy had to be kidding or
thought this guy had to be kidding or
thought this guy had to be kidding or something but it was actually just the
something but it was actually just the
something but it was actually just the start of what was to come that year was
start of what was to come that year was
start of what was to come that year was filled with players calling me
filled with players calling me
filled with players calling me derogatory names making lewd comments
derogatory names making lewd comments
derogatory names making lewd comments about my body I was shoved in a deserted
about my body I was shoved in a deserted
about my body I was shoved in a deserted hallway a player shoved me up against
hallway a player shoved me up against
hallway a player shoved me up against the wall and tried to feel under my
the wall and tried to feel under my
the wall and tried to feel under my shoulder pads to see if he could feel my
shoulder pads to see if he could feel my
shoulder pads to see if he could feel my breasts I was grabbed in between my legs
breasts I was grabbed in between my legs
breasts I was grabbed in between my legs when we were in Huddle’s but the worst
when we were in Huddle’s but the worst
when we were in Huddle’s but the worst came at the end of that year when I was
came at the end of that year when I was
came at the end of that year when I was raped by a teammate one of the few
raped by a teammate one of the few
raped by a teammate one of the few teammates that I actually knew and
teammates that I actually knew and
teammates that I actually knew and trusted
I didn’t know what to do everything had
I didn’t know what to do everything had shattered my dream had shattered but so
shattered my dream had shattered but so
shattered my dream had shattered but so would I it was a whatnow moment what am
would I it was a whatnow moment what am
would I it was a whatnow moment what am I going to do the world which had felt
I going to do the world which had felt
I going to do the world which had felt so bright and so full of possibilities
so bright and so full of possibilities
so bright and so full of possibilities before had become this dark and unsafe
before had become this dark and unsafe
before had become this dark and unsafe place I went into a depression that was
place I went into a depression that was
place I went into a depression that was so dark I barely could eat or sleep I
so dark I barely could eat or sleep I
so dark I barely could eat or sleep I basically functioned just enough to stay
basically functioned just enough to stay
basically functioned just enough to stay alive but through that in the depth of
alive but through that in the depth of
alive but through that in the depth of the darkness and all of the wreckage
the darkness and all of the wreckage
the darkness and all of the wreckage there was something something in there
there was something something in there
there was something something in there something inside me I didn’t know what
something inside me I didn’t know what
something inside me I didn’t know what it was and I couldn’t see it all the
it was and I couldn’t see it all the
it was and I couldn’t see it all the time but there was something in there
time but there was something in there
time but there was something in there and finally I found it there was a spot
and finally I found it there was a spot
and finally I found it there was a spot in me that was untouchable there was a
in me that was untouchable there was a
in me that was untouchable there was a spot in me that nobody else could get at
spot in me that nobody else could get at
spot in me that nobody else could get at that was mine and mine alone that none
that was mine and mine alone that none
that was mine and mine alone that none of the guys nobody who had harassed me
of the guys nobody who had harassed me
of the guys nobody who had harassed me or who had heard me could get at that
or who had heard me could get at that
or who had heard me could get at that spot inside of me and inside of that
spot inside of me and inside of that
spot inside of me and inside of that spot it’s it was filled with light and
spot it’s it was filled with light and
spot it’s it was filled with light and with hope I think that it’s a spot that
with hope I think that it’s a spot that
with hope I think that it’s a spot that we all have and it’s a spot that makes
we all have and it’s a spot that makes
we all have and it’s a spot that makes us human I learned that if I could grab
us human I learned that if I could grab
us human I learned that if I could grab on to that spot found that my pain could
on to that spot found that my pain could
on to that spot found that my pain could be more than just pain that pain can
be more than just pain that pain can
be more than just pain that pain can turn into art or pain can turn into new
turn into art or pain can turn into new
turn into art or pain can turn into new passions and new careers it can lead you
passions and new careers it can lead you
passions and new careers it can lead you to places that you’d never expect and
to places that you’d never expect and
to places that you’d never expect and also the thing about it is that if you
also the thing about it is that if you
also the thing about it is that if you can grab on to it and transform it pain
can grab on to it and transform it pain
can grab on to it and transform it pain outward can be used to make the world a
outward can be used to make the world a
outward can be used to make the world a better place for me that’s been being
better place for me that’s been being
better place for me that’s been being able to use my voice as a survivor as an
able to use my voice as a survivor as an
able to use my voice as a survivor as an advocate or for awareness against
advocate or for awareness against
advocate or for awareness against violence
and it also going to that untouchable
and it also going to that untouchable spot also lit the fire of wanting to
spot also lit the fire of wanting to
spot also lit the fire of wanting to pursue my dream of playing college
pursue my dream of playing college
pursue my dream of playing college football I didn’t want to give it up so
football I didn’t want to give it up so
football I didn’t want to give it up so I ended up sending out tapes to new
I ended up sending out tapes to new
I ended up sending out tapes to new schools and ended up going to the
schools and ended up going to the
schools and ended up going to the University of New Mexico after a lot of
University of New Mexico after a lot of
University of New Mexico after a lot of mental and physical hard work I ended up
mental and physical hard work I ended up
mental and physical hard work I ended up on a team there this time with a hundred
on a team there this time with a hundred
on a team there this time with a hundred guys who were like brothers to me we
guys who were like brothers to me we
guys who were like brothers to me we literally did everything together we
literally did everything together we
literally did everything together we studied together we ran together we ate
studied together we ran together we ate
studied together we ran together we ate together we you know barbecued watch
together we you know barbecued watch
together we you know barbecued watch sunday night football they used to ask
sunday night football they used to ask
sunday night football they used to ask me for girl advice for clothes advice I
me for girl advice for clothes advice I
me for girl advice for clothes advice I definitely didn’t ask them for guy
definitely didn’t ask them for guy
definitely didn’t ask them for guy advice though they were not okay but
advice though they were not okay but
advice though they were not okay but even though I have landed in such a good
even though I have landed in such a good
even though I have landed in such a good place it didn’t mean that the what-ifs
place it didn’t mean that the what-ifs
place it didn’t mean that the what-ifs were over I got my first shot to make
were over I got my first shot to make
were over I got my first shot to make history to actually get into a game my
history to actually get into a game my
history to actually get into a game my first season in New Mexico it was our
first season in New Mexico it was our
first season in New Mexico it was our bowl game and it was Christmas Day we
bowl game and it was Christmas Day we
bowl game and it was Christmas Day we were playing UCLA national TV big deal
were playing UCLA national TV big deal
were playing UCLA national TV big deal and I was supposed to kick our exploit a
and I was supposed to kick our exploit a
and I was supposed to kick our exploit a kick that I’ve done you know literally
kick that I’ve done you know literally
kick that I’ve done you know literally hundreds of thousands of times so I get
hundreds of thousands of times so I get
hundreds of thousands of times so I get called out I go out you know line up get
called out I go out you know line up get
called out I go out you know line up get ready do my steps kick up and the kick
ready do my steps kick up and the kick
ready do my steps kick up and the kick was blocked I was devastated doesn’t
was blocked I was devastated doesn’t
was blocked I was devastated doesn’t cover it I like I said literally had
cover it I like I said literally had
cover it I like I said literally had done might kick hundreds of thousands of
done might kick hundreds of thousands of
done might kick hundreds of thousands of times I never ever thought that
times I never ever thought that
times I never ever thought that something would ever go wrong I’d spent
something would ever go wrong I’d spent
something would ever go wrong I’d spent eight years working towards that one
eight years working towards that one
eight years working towards that one moment when I could get in there and be
moment when I could get in there and be
moment when I could get in there and be the first woman to you know play in a
the first woman to you know play in a
the first woman to you know play in a major college football game
major college football game
major college football game and I’ll never forget the next morning I
and I’ll never forget the next morning I
and I’ll never forget the next morning I woke up and in the paper the headline of
woke up and in the paper the headline of
woke up and in the paper the headline of the LA Times sports section said women
the LA Times sports section said women
the LA Times sports section said women should not play football Katie nighta
should not play football Katie nighta
should not play football Katie nighta just proved why I felt like I had let
just proved why I felt like I had let
just proved why I felt like I had let everybody down I felt like I had left
everybody down I felt like I had left
everybody down I felt like I had left myself down my teammates down our fans
myself down my teammates down our fans
myself down my teammates down our fans down the entire female race basically uh
down the entire female race basically uh
down the entire female race basically uh and you know I I wanted to I I could
and you know I I wanted to I I could
and you know I I wanted to I I could have quit I wanted to curl up into a
have quit I wanted to curl up into a
have quit I wanted to curl up into a ball and hide and never come out again
ball and hide and never come out again
ball and hide and never come out again but instead i did it i went back to that
but instead i did it i went back to that
but instead i did it i went back to that place and found that place that was
place and found that place that was
place and found that place that was inside of me and recognized that no
inside of me and recognized that no
inside of me and recognized that no matter what they said about me no matter
matter what they said about me no matter
matter what they said about me no matter what they wrote about me that that place
what they wrote about me that that place
what they wrote about me that that place inside was there and it would push me
inside was there and it would push me
inside was there and it would push me through and it did it pushed me into my
through and it did it pushed me into my
through and it did it pushed me into my offseason training and then pushed me
offseason training and then pushed me
offseason training and then pushed me onto the field where I ended up kicking
onto the field where I ended up kicking
onto the field where I ended up kicking two extra points and our season opener
two extra points and our season opener
two extra points and our season opener and finally making history the funny
and finally making history the funny
and finally making history the funny thing though is that in the end it
thing though is that in the end it
thing though is that in the end it really wasn’t about the making history
really wasn’t about the making history
really wasn’t about the making history you know I I got it and kicked the extra
you know I I got it and kicked the extra
you know I I got it and kicked the extra points but it really was about the
points but it really was about the
points but it really was about the journey it was about all the what ifs it
journey it was about all the what ifs it
journey it was about all the what ifs it was about all those times when I fell
was about all those times when I fell
was about all those times when I fell and had to get up and go again which you
and had to get up and go again which you
and had to get up and go again which you know brings us brings us to now um you
know brings us brings us to now um you
know brings us brings us to now um you know the the what what now well now I
know the the what what now well now I
know the the what what now well now I think that it’s living the what now to
think that it’s living the what now to
think that it’s living the what now to remember to keep living them and
definitely definitely when you fall to
definitely definitely when you fall to get back up again and again and again
get back up again and again and again
get back up again and again and again and to walk back out on that stage even
and to walk back out on that stage even
and to walk back out on that stage even after you’ve taken a pretty bad tumble
after you’ve taken a pretty bad tumble
after you’ve taken a pretty bad tumble so
so
so you guys keep on dreaming keep on doing
you guys keep on dreaming keep on doing
you guys keep on dreaming keep on doing and keep on kicking thank you guys so
and keep on kicking thank you guys so
and keep on kicking thank you guys so much
much
much [Applause]
”
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