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I’m Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help! | Dr. Xavier Amador | TEDxOrientHarbor


[Music]

[Music] I’m a clinical psychologist who for

I’m a clinical psychologist who for

I’m a clinical psychologist who for thirty years has been working with

thirty years has been working with

thirty years has been working with people with schizophrenia bipolar and

people with schizophrenia bipolar and

people with schizophrenia bipolar and related psychotic disorders now

related psychotic disorders now

related psychotic disorders now some people still think schizophrenia is

some people still think schizophrenia is

some people still think schizophrenia is split personality I think it’s worth

split personality I think it’s worth

split personality I think it’s worth taking a moment when we talk about these

taking a moment when we talk about these

taking a moment when we talk about these these psychotic illnesses we’re talking

these psychotic illnesses we’re talking

these psychotic illnesses we’re talking about neurodevelopmental disorders like

about neurodevelopmental disorders like

about neurodevelopmental disorders like Parkinson’s disease where the person

Parkinson’s disease where the person

Parkinson’s disease where the person doesn’t have Parkinson’s disease all

doesn’t have Parkinson’s disease all

doesn’t have Parkinson’s disease all their life they develop it later same

their life they develop it later same

their life they develop it later same thing with these disorders that I’m

thing with these disorders that I’m

thing with these disorders that I’m going to be talking about the other

going to be talking about the other

going to be talking about the other thing is I think a word about psychosis

thing is I think a word about psychosis

thing is I think a word about psychosis what is it it’s really a couple of

what is it it’s really a couple of

what is it it’s really a couple of symptoms that we see most often false

symptoms that we see most often false

symptoms that we see most often false perceptions hallucinations hearing

perceptions hallucinations hearing

perceptions hallucinations hearing things hearing voices seeing things that

things hearing voices seeing things that

things hearing voices seeing things that aren’t there and having delusions I’m

aren’t there and having delusions I’m

aren’t there and having delusions I’m not talking about political opinions I’m

not talking about political opinions I’m

not talking about political opinions I’m talking about fixed false beliefs

talking about fixed false beliefs

talking about fixed false beliefs sometimes they’re bizarre there’s an

sometimes they’re bizarre there’s an

sometimes they’re bizarre there’s an alien implant in my brain or sometimes

alien implant in my brain or sometimes

alien implant in my brain or sometimes they’re not so bizarre my wife is having

they’re not so bizarre my wife is having

they’re not so bizarre my wife is having an affair on me

an affair on me

an affair on me for many years I worked as a clinician

for many years I worked as a clinician

for many years I worked as a clinician trying to help people with schizophrenia

trying to help people with schizophrenia

trying to help people with schizophrenia bipolar and related disorders and I

bipolar and related disorders and I

bipolar and related disorders and I heard over and over again I’m not sick I

heard over and over again I’m not sick I

heard over and over again I’m not sick I don’t need your help you’re the crazy

don’t need your help you’re the crazy

don’t need your help you’re the crazy one not me and as it turns out about

one not me and as it turns out about

one not me and as it turns out about half of all people with these illnesses

half of all people with these illnesses

half of all people with these illnesses do not take medications that have from

do not take medications that have from

do not take medications that have from the view of other people help them so

the view of other people help them so

the view of other people help them so what is this problem what are the

what is this problem what are the

what is this problem what are the lessons that we learned when I say we

lessons that we learned when I say we

lessons that we learned when I say we I’m talking now about my colleagues at

I’m talking now about my colleagues at

I’m talking now about my colleagues at at Columbia University where I worked

at Columbia University where I worked

at Columbia University where I worked for two decades doing research what we

for two decades doing research what we

for two decades doing research what we uncovered were two main lessons I want

uncovered were two main lessons I want

uncovered were two main lessons I want to share with you today

to share with you today

to share with you today first it’s typically not denial when

first it’s typically not denial when

first it’s typically not denial when someone says I’m not sick for months

someone says I’m not sick for months

someone says I’m not sick for months years and even decades and to the the

years and even decades and to the the

years and even decades and to the the way we were speaking to our patients was

way we were speaking to our patients was

way we were speaking to our patients was making things worse far worse so let me

making things worse far worse so let me

making things worse far worse so let me start at the beginning the beginning

start at the beginning the beginning

start at the beginning the beginning really starts with my brother Henry who

really starts with my brother Henry who

really starts with my brother Henry who develop schizophrenia back when I was 21

develop schizophrenia back when I was 21

develop schizophrenia back when I was 21 years old this is a picture of Henry and

years old this is a picture of Henry and

years old this is a picture of Henry and myself after we had emigrated from Cuba

myself after we had emigrated from Cuba

myself after we had emigrated from Cuba this was on the heels of the Cuban

this was on the heels of the Cuban

this was on the heels of the Cuban Revolution

Revolution

Revolution that’s me driving the car and Henry

that’s me driving the car and Henry

that’s me driving the car and Henry looking through the window Henry was

looking through the window Henry was

looking through the window Henry was much more than a brother he was a father

much more than a brother he was a father

much more than a brother he was a father he was as I said at his eulogy Henry was

he was as I said at his eulogy Henry was

he was as I said at his eulogy Henry was my rock

my rock

my rock he really was a mature responsible

he really was a mature responsible

he really was a mature responsible person now why am I telling you this

person now why am I telling you this

person now why am I telling you this because the story of this research is

because the story of this research is

because the story of this research is all about relationships and what happens

all about relationships and what happens

all about relationships and what happens between family members and health care

between family members and health care

between family members and health care professionals who are trying to help

professionals who are trying to help

professionals who are trying to help people with these serious mental

people with these serious mental

people with these serious mental illnesses 20 years after this picture

illnesses 20 years after this picture

illnesses 20 years after this picture was taken

was taken

was taken my brother developed schizophrenia he

my brother developed schizophrenia he

my brother developed schizophrenia he heard voices the voice of the devil out

heard voices the voice of the devil out

heard voices the voice of the devil out loud just like you can hear my voice now

loud just like you can hear my voice now

loud just like you can hear my voice now he didn’t think I have a problem I’m

he didn’t think I have a problem I’m

he didn’t think I have a problem I’m gonna go see a doctor he thought it was

gonna go see a doctor he thought it was

gonna go see a doctor he thought it was the double he had delusions our mother

the double he had delusions our mother

the double he had delusions our mother was in cahoots with the devil

was in cahoots with the devil

was in cahoots with the devil her eyes were laser beams this is where

her eyes were laser beams this is where

her eyes were laser beams this is where it got a little bit bizarre and she was

it got a little bit bizarre and she was

it got a little bit bizarre and she was actually cutting him lacerating him he

actually cutting him lacerating him he

actually cutting him lacerating him he tried to show me the wounds of course

tried to show me the wounds of course

tried to show me the wounds of course there were no wounds for a week I argued

there were no wounds for a week I argued

there were no wounds for a week I argued with my brother I begged him to go to

with my brother I begged him to go to

with my brother I begged him to go to the hospital at first I gently explained

the hospital at first I gently explained

the hospital at first I gently explained to him Henry you’re not thinking

to him Henry you’re not thinking

to him Henry you’re not thinking straight something is clearly wrong for

straight something is clearly wrong for

straight something is clearly wrong for a while I thought he might be on drugs

a while I thought he might be on drugs

a while I thought he might be on drugs that wasn’t the issue after a week of

that wasn’t the issue after a week of

that wasn’t the issue after a week of gentle persuasion it turned into harsh

gentle persuasion it turned into harsh

gentle persuasion it turned into harsh confrontation accusing him of being

confrontation accusing him of being

confrontation accusing him of being immature irresponsible not caring about

immature irresponsible not caring about

immature irresponsible not caring about our poor mother she hasn’t she been

our poor mother she hasn’t she been

our poor mother she hasn’t she been through enough trying to make him feel

through enough trying to make him feel

through enough trying to make him feel guilty I got him into the hospital like

guilty I got him into the hospital like

guilty I got him into the hospital like many many families millions at least

many many families millions at least

many many families millions at least three and a half four million families

three and a half four million families

three and a half four million families in America have been through this

in America have been through this

in America have been through this experience I had to call the police and

experience I had to call the police and

experience I had to call the police and he was involuntarily admitted to the

he was involuntarily admitted to the

he was involuntarily admitted to the hospital over the course of a month and

hospital over the course of a month and

hospital over the course of a month and and and you know don’t faint but back

and and you know don’t faint but back

and and you know don’t faint but back then in the 1980s people could stay in

then in the 1980s people could stay in

then in the 1980s people could stay in the hospital for that long he got better

the hospital for that long he got better

the hospital for that long he got better antipsychotic medications eliminated the

antipsychotic medications eliminated the

antipsychotic medications eliminated the hallucinations eliminated the delusions

hallucinations eliminated the delusions

hallucinations eliminated the delusions and he promised he would take his

and he promised he would take his

and he promised he would take his medication I came home where did I find

medication I came home where did I find

medication I came home where did I find it in the trash

it in the trash

it in the trash and what followed was seven years of my

and what followed was seven years of my

and what followed was seven years of my brother and I butting heads me telling

brother and I butting heads me telling

brother and I butting heads me telling him you’re ill you need help please get

him you’re ill you need help please get

him you’re ill you need help please get help him saying no I’m not

help him saying no I’m not

help him saying no I’m not nothing’s wrong with me and what did our

nothing’s wrong with me and what did our

nothing’s wrong with me and what did our relationship look like like this him

relationship look like like this him

relationship look like like this him running away from me and running away

running away from me and running away

running away from me and running away from all the people who were trying to

from all the people who were trying to

from all the people who were trying to help him not much of a relationship he

help him not much of a relationship he

help him not much of a relationship he was homeless for a while he was picked

was homeless for a while he was picked

was homeless for a while he was picked up by the police a lot never broke laws

up by the police a lot never broke laws

up by the police a lot never broke laws thankfully during that same time I was

thankfully during that same time I was

thankfully during that same time I was being trained as a clinical psychologist

being trained as a clinical psychologist

being trained as a clinical psychologist and I picked up some gems and probably

and I picked up some gems and probably

and I picked up some gems and probably the the most important tool I picked up

the the most important tool I picked up

the the most important tool I picked up was not from a psychiatrist or

was not from a psychiatrist or

was not from a psychiatrist or psychologist it was from Albert Einstein

psychologist it was from Albert Einstein

psychologist it was from Albert Einstein it was the definition of insanity I was

it was the definition of insanity I was

it was the definition of insanity I was doing the same thing over and over and

doing the same thing over and over and

doing the same thing over and over and over again for seven years while he was

over again for seven years while he was

over again for seven years while he was running away from me he was being

running away from me he was being

running away from me he was being involuntarily admitted almost 30

involuntarily admitted almost 30

involuntarily admitted almost 30 hospitalizations while I argued with him

hospitalizations while I argued with him

hospitalizations while I argued with him Henry you’re sick you need help please

Henry you’re sick you need help please

Henry you’re sick you need help please get help over and over again expecting a

get help over and over again expecting a

get help over and over again expecting a different result I called my brother we

different result I called my brother we

different result I called my brother we had a conversation we got together I

had a conversation we got together I

had a conversation we got together I promised him I would never again tell

promised him I would never again tell

promised him I would never again tell him he was mentally ill this is after

him he was mentally ill this is after

him he was mentally ill this is after seven years of trying to convince him

seven years of trying to convince him

seven years of trying to convince him and I also did some other things I’m

and I also did some other things I’m

and I also did some other things I’m going to tell you about that are based

going to tell you about that are based

going to tell you about that are based in the research my colleagues and I have

in the research my colleagues and I have

in the research my colleagues and I have done our relationship changed

done our relationship changed

done our relationship changed dramatically and with that he accepted

dramatically and with that he accepted

dramatically and with that he accepted treatment and in fact in the next 18

treatment and in fact in the next 18

treatment and in fact in the next 18 years our relationship looked like this

years our relationship looked like this

years our relationship looked like this this is a picture taken out here that’s

this is a picture taken out here that’s

this is a picture taken out here that’s my brother on the right that’s me with

my brother on the right that’s me with

my brother on the right that’s me with the Jerry Seinfeld haircut the way it

the Jerry Seinfeld haircut the way it

the Jerry Seinfeld haircut the way it looked back then now that’s not a

looked back then now that’s not a

looked back then now that’s not a delusion me thinking that was cool that

delusion me thinking that was cool that

delusion me thinking that was cool that was just style

was just style

was just style [Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter] Henry look at the way he’s holding me I

Henry look at the way he’s holding me I

Henry look at the way he’s holding me I actually can’t look at this picture

actually can’t look at this picture

actually can’t look at this picture myself anymore without getting very

myself anymore without getting very

myself anymore without getting very emotional but if you can look at the way

emotional but if you can look at the way

emotional but if you can look at the way he’s holding me and smiling at me you

he’s holding me and smiling at me you

he’s holding me and smiling at me you know sometimes a picture truly is worth

know sometimes a picture truly is worth

know sometimes a picture truly is worth a thousand words

a thousand words

a thousand words the love was back the trust and respect

the love was back the trust and respect

the love was back the trust and respect were back and importantly he was taking

were back and importantly he was taking

were back and importantly he was taking medication reliably for 18 years one

medication reliably for 18 years one

medication reliably for 18 years one hospitalization truly voluntary he

hospitalization truly voluntary he

hospitalization truly voluntary he checked himself in he called me and said

checked himself in he called me and said

checked himself in he called me and said I’m going to the hospital so this is the

I’m going to the hospital so this is the

I’m going to the hospital so this is the foundation of a lot of insights of my

foundation of a lot of insights of my

foundation of a lot of insights of my own it led to a lot of research that our

own it led to a lot of research that our

own it led to a lot of research that our group did at Columbia University and

group did at Columbia University and

group did at Columbia University and people around the world followed up on

people around the world followed up on

people around the world followed up on it’s now in our diagnostic manual for

it’s now in our diagnostic manual for

it’s now in our diagnostic manual for mental disorders I was asked to submit

mental disorders I was asked to submit

mental disorders I was asked to submit the text on the latest edition of this

the text on the latest edition of this

the text on the latest edition of this which came out in 2013 so I’m going to

which came out in 2013 so I’m going to

which came out in 2013 so I’m going to summarize some research in just one

summarize some research in just one

summarize some research in just one minute what do we know we know that

minute what do we know we know that

minute what do we know we know that unawareness of illness notice we don’t

unawareness of illness notice we don’t

unawareness of illness notice we don’t use the word denial is typically a

use the word denial is typically a

use the word denial is typically a symptom of the disorder like a

symptom of the disorder like a

symptom of the disorder like a hallucination and it’s very much like

hallucination and it’s very much like

hallucination and it’s very much like what we see in neurological disorders if

what we see in neurological disorders if

what we see in neurological disorders if you’ve ever worked with neurological

you’ve ever worked with neurological

you’ve ever worked with neurological patients as I have you sometimes see

patients as I have you sometimes see

patients as I have you sometimes see people who are paralyzed and they don’t

people who are paralyzed and they don’t

people who are paralyzed and they don’t know it that symptom is called Ana cig

know it that symptom is called Ana cig

know it that symptom is called Ana cig nausea it’s a tongue twister I didn’t

nausea it’s a tongue twister I didn’t

nausea it’s a tongue twister I didn’t come up with it it was a French

come up with it it was a French

come up with it it was a French neurologist in 1919 AB insky so if it’s

neurologist in 1919 AB insky so if it’s

neurologist in 1919 AB insky so if it’s Ana signo sia that already starts to

Ana signo sia that already starts to

Ana signo sia that already starts to suggest we should be talking to people

suggest we should be talking to people

suggest we should be talking to people differently about their illness not

differently about their illness not

differently about their illness not trying to educate them I wouldn’t tell

trying to educate them I wouldn’t tell

trying to educate them I wouldn’t tell someone to stop hallucinating she’s just

someone to stop hallucinating she’s just

someone to stop hallucinating she’s just stopped being delusional stop

stopped being delusional stop

stopped being delusional stop hallucinating because it’s not under

hallucinating because it’s not under

hallucinating because it’s not under their control but that’s what I had been

their control but that’s what I had been

their control but that’s what I had been doing for many years with not only my

doing for many years with not only my

doing for many years with not only my brother but many patients this symptom

brother but many patients this symptom

brother but many patients this symptom and again this is in our psychiatric

and again this is in our psychiatric

and again this is in our psychiatric manual for mental disorders even though

manual for mental disorders even though

manual for mental disorders even though it’s still not widely known in our field

it’s still not widely known in our field

it’s still not widely known in our field is the most common predictor of who will

is the most common predictor of who will

is the most common predictor of who will not take medication 50 to 75 percent of

not take medication 50 to 75 percent of

not take medication 50 to 75 percent of people with these disorders do not take

people with these disorders do not take

people with these disorders do not take the medications that reduce those

the medications that reduce those

the medications that reduce those symptoms I’ve been telling you about the

symptoms I’ve been telling you about the

symptoms I’ve been telling you about the psychotic symptoms it predicts all kinds

psychotic symptoms it predicts all kinds

psychotic symptoms it predicts all kinds of problems poorer course of illness

of problems poorer course of illness

of problems poorer course of illness involuntary hospitalizations like my

involuntary hospitalizations like my

involuntary hospitalizations like my brother had and even aggression in

brother had and even aggression in

brother had and even aggression in violence and of course we know some of

violence and of course we know some of

violence and of course we know some of the stories that have hit the headlines

the stories that have hit the headlines

the stories that have hit the headlines in some of the cases I’ve worked on like

in some of the cases I’ve worked on like

in some of the cases I’ve worked on like Theodore Kaczynski who was diagnosed

Theodore Kaczynski who was diagnosed

Theodore Kaczynski who was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia never

with paranoid schizophrenia never

with paranoid schizophrenia never understood he was ill so I’m talking

understood he was ill so I’m talking

understood he was ill so I’m talking about this but what does it feel like to

about this but what does it feel like to

about this but what does it feel like to have an ass Ignazio for this I need a

have an ass Ignazio for this I need a

have an ass Ignazio for this I need a volunteer someone who is married you

volunteer someone who is married you

volunteer someone who is married you don’t have to be happily married just

don’t have to be happily married just

don’t have to be happily married just married could you raise your hand if

married could you raise your hand if

married could you raise your hand if you’re married sir can I ask you to help

you’re married sir can I ask you to help

you’re married sir can I ask you to help me right there in the yellow shirt what

me right there in the yellow shirt what

me right there in the yellow shirt what is your first name Sir Richard Richard

is your first name Sir Richard Richard

is your first name Sir Richard Richard I’m actually uncomfortable doing this

I’m actually uncomfortable doing this

I’m actually uncomfortable doing this this is a strange thing I’ve been asked

this is a strange thing I’ve been asked

this is a strange thing I’ve been asked to do by your family how long you’ve

to do by your family how long you’ve

to do by your family how long you’ve been married to your to your wife 46

been married to your to your wife 46

been married to your to your wife 46 years 46 years what’s her first name

years 46 years what’s her first name

years 46 years what’s her first name Eleanor Eleanor and where is she in New

Eleanor Eleanor and where is she in New

Eleanor Eleanor and where is she in New York City I’ve been asked to do an

York City I’ve been asked to do an

York City I’ve been asked to do an intervention with you you’re not

intervention with you you’re not

intervention with you you’re not actually married to Eleanor I have

actually married to Eleanor I have

actually married to Eleanor I have restraining orders backstage I can I can

restraining orders backstage I can I can

restraining orders backstage I can I can bring you back here and show them to you

bring you back here and show them to you

bring you back here and show them to you Eleanor and her husband and family had

Eleanor and her husband and family had

Eleanor and her husband and family had been stalked by you for at least 20

been stalked by you for at least 20

been stalked by you for at least 20 years I’m aware of if I showed you those

years I’m aware of if I showed you those

years I’m aware of if I showed you those restraining orders would that help you

restraining orders would that help you

restraining orders would that help you to understand I don’t think so you don’t

to understand I don’t think so you don’t

to understand I don’t think so you don’t think so laughter please would they

think so laughter please would they

think so laughter please would they convince you no okay when you leave here

convince you no okay when you leave here

convince you no okay when you leave here when you go home where will you go to my

when you go home where will you go to my

when you go home where will you go to my house to his house is that the house

house to his house is that the house

house to his house is that the house Eleanor lives in when she’s here in

Eleanor lives in when she’s here in

Eleanor lives in when she’s here in orient yes yeah

orient yes yeah

orient yes yeah well the neighbors see you they call the

well the neighbors see you they call the

well the neighbors see you they call the police and you end up in front of a

police and you end up in front of a

police and you end up in front of a judge it’s called a diversion Court and

judge it’s called a diversion Court and

judge it’s called a diversion Court and the judge says Richard I have really

the judge says Richard I have really

the judge says Richard I have really almost 10 years of paperwork here on you

almost 10 years of paperwork here on you

almost 10 years of paperwork here on you on your rap sheet I understand you have

on your rap sheet I understand you have

on your rap sheet I understand you have a mental illness you believe you’re

a mental illness you believe you’re

a mental illness you believe you’re married to this woman Eleanor you

married to this woman Eleanor you

married to this woman Eleanor you violated the restraining order again by

violated the restraining order again by

violated the restraining order again by going to her home now I’m the judge I’m

going to her home now I’m the judge I’m

going to her home now I’m the judge I’m gonna give you a choice Richard you can

gonna give you a choice Richard you can

gonna give you a choice Richard you can go to the hospital and we’ll adjourn

go to the hospital and we’ll adjourn

go to the hospital and we’ll adjourn your case of trespassing and by the way

your case of trespassing and by the way

your case of trespassing and by the way let me ask you something Richard when

let me ask you something Richard when

let me ask you something Richard when you went to the house and the police

you went to the house and the police

you went to the house and the police showed up and told you you weren’t

showed up and told you you weren’t

showed up and told you you weren’t married to Eleanor this was not your

married to Eleanor this was not your

married to Eleanor this was not your house do you think you would resist

house do you think you would resist

house do you think you would resist going with them in all likelihood and

going with them in all likelihood and

going with them in all likelihood and all likelihood so I’m the judge again

all likelihood so I’m the judge again

all likelihood so I’m the judge again so Richard I have also a of resisting

so Richard I have also a of resisting

so Richard I have also a of resisting arrest here so I’m giving you a choice

arrest here so I’m giving you a choice

arrest here so I’m giving you a choice you can go to the hospital we’ve

you can go to the hospital we’ve

you can go to the hospital we’ve arranged something here close by and get

arranged something here close by and get

arranged something here close by and get some psychiatric help and in six months

some psychiatric help and in six months

some psychiatric help and in six months we’ll review and maybe dismiss these

we’ll review and maybe dismiss these

we’ll review and maybe dismiss these charges or you can go back to jail and

charges or you can go back to jail and

charges or you can go back to jail and we’ll have an arraignment on Monday

we’ll have an arraignment on Monday

we’ll have an arraignment on Monday morning you’ll spend the weekend in jail

morning you’ll spend the weekend in jail

morning you’ll spend the weekend in jail what would you like to do what do you

what would you like to do what do you

what would you like to do what do you think you’ll do Hospital hospital

think you’ll do Hospital hospital

think you’ll do Hospital hospital wonderful choice so you go to the

wonderful choice so you go to the

wonderful choice so you go to the hospital they relieve you of your

hospital they relieve you of your

hospital they relieve you of your clothing they put your personals in a

clothing they put your personals in a

clothing they put your personals in a plastic bag then they give you a

plastic bag then they give you a

plastic bag then they give you a clothing back they take your vital signs

clothing back they take your vital signs

clothing back they take your vital signs they offer you medication this one here

they offer you medication this one here

they offer you medication this one here is for the delusions that you have this

is for the delusions that you have this

is for the delusions that you have this one here is bring xiety and this one

one here is bring xiety and this one

one here is bring xiety and this one here is for side effects the nurse gives

here is for side effects the nurse gives

here is for side effects the nurse gives you the cup what do you do with it I

you the cup what do you do with it I

you the cup what do you do with it I would take the medication okay how long

would take the medication okay how long

would take the medication okay how long would you take that medication if you

would you take that medication if you

would you take that medication if you were there for two weeks you take it

were there for two weeks you take it

were there for two weeks you take it every day I would wonderful so then they

every day I would wonderful so then they

every day I would wonderful so then they can write a great report to the judge

can write a great report to the judge

can write a great report to the judge this patient is adhering to treatment

this patient is adhering to treatment

this patient is adhering to treatment let’s fast forward now because they

let’s fast forward now because they

let’s fast forward now because they don’t let you go back to your home they

don’t let you go back to your home they

don’t let you go back to your home they want to send you to a group home to be

want to send you to a group home to be

want to send you to a group home to be with other mentally ill people do you go

with other mentally ill people do you go

with other mentally ill people do you go probably not probably not where do you

probably not probably not where do you

probably not probably not where do you go instead probably not probably if I

go instead probably not probably if I

go instead probably not probably if I don’t have a home to go to I probably

don’t have a home to go to I probably

don’t have a home to go to I probably live in my car ten years five years go

live in my car ten years five years go

live in my car ten years five years go by you never see Ellenor again you never

by you never see Ellenor again you never

by you never see Ellenor again you never see your home again do you think you’d

see your home again do you think you’d

see your home again do you think you’d come to understand you are not married

come to understand you are not married

come to understand you are not married to her that you have a mental illness I

to her that you have a mental illness I

to her that you have a mental illness I believe I would in five years really

believe I would in five years really

believe I would in five years really that’s all it would take

that’s all it would take

that’s all it would take did you propose marriage yes that didn’t

did you propose marriage yes that didn’t

did you propose marriage yes that didn’t happen

happen

happen you really think in five years you could

you really think in five years you could

you really think in five years you could come to believe that the memory that

come to believe that the memory that

come to believe that the memory that you’re having right now of that proposal

you’re having right now of that proposal

you’re having right now of that proposal never happened or the wedding do you

never happened or the wedding do you

never happened or the wedding do you think you could be really convinced that

think you could be really convinced that

think you could be really convinced that all of that was just a dream probably

all of that was just a dream probably

all of that was just a dream probably not thank you for your help can we thank

not thank you for your help can we thank

not thank you for your help can we thank Richard for helping me real quickly any

Richard for helping me real quickly any

Richard for helping me real quickly any emotions that you had as we were doing

emotions that you had as we were doing

emotions that you had as we were doing this I know it’s a roleplay fleeting

this I know it’s a roleplay fleeting

this I know it’s a roleplay fleeting emotions just name one resistance

emotions just name one resistance

emotions just name one resistance resistance how about any anger or fear

resistance how about any anger or fear

resistance how about any anger or fear yes yes okay thank you for again for

yes yes okay thank you for again for

yes yes okay thank you for again for your help let’s thank him again

and please call Eleanor when this is

and please call Eleanor when this is over okay that’s what it’s like this is

over okay that’s what it’s like this is

over okay that’s what it’s like this is a fixed firm belief it’s it’s concrete

a fixed firm belief it’s it’s concrete

a fixed firm belief it’s it’s concrete it’s solid it’s in Richards bones

it’s solid it’s in Richards bones

it’s solid it’s in Richards bones he knows he’s married to Eleanor and

he knows he’s married to Eleanor and

he knows he’s married to Eleanor and that’s what it’s like for millions of

that’s what it’s like for millions of

that’s what it’s like for millions of Americans with these serious mental

Americans with these serious mental

Americans with these serious mental illnesses so when dealing with somebody

illnesses so when dealing with somebody

illnesses so when dealing with somebody who has Ana’s signo seeif or mental

who has Ana’s signo seeif or mental

who has Ana’s signo seeif or mental illness not denial of mental illness the

illness not denial of mental illness the

illness not denial of mental illness the doctor knows best or the father or

doctor knows best or the father or

doctor knows best or the father or mother knows best

mother knows best

mother knows best or the little brother in my case doesn’t

or the little brother in my case doesn’t

or the little brother in my case doesn’t work there’s no collaboration can I

work there’s no collaboration can I

work there’s no collaboration can I expect Richard to be grateful were you

expect Richard to be grateful were you

expect Richard to be grateful were you grateful for my advice now perceptive no

grateful for my advice now perceptive no

grateful for my advice now perceptive no he learned how to go underground like my

he learned how to go underground like my

he learned how to go underground like my brother did and accept treatment for a

brother did and accept treatment for a

brother did and accept treatment for a month and maybe longer just to get his

month and maybe longer just to get his

month and maybe longer just to get his freedom back this is what happens again

freedom back this is what happens again

freedom back this is what happens again to millions of Americans with these

to millions of Americans with these

to millions of Americans with these illnesses adherence refers to medication

illnesses adherence refers to medication

illnesses adherence refers to medication adherence medication compliance like

adherence medication compliance like

adherence medication compliance like again 50% of patients he’s very unlikely

again 50% of patients he’s very unlikely

again 50% of patients he’s very unlikely to take medication when I can expect

to take medication when I can expect

to take medication when I can expect what the research shows us is that we

what the research shows us is that we

what the research shows us is that we will get somebody who is fearful angry

will get somebody who is fearful angry

will get somebody who is fearful angry suspicious demoralized lonely and who

suspicious demoralized lonely and who

suspicious demoralized lonely and who will not take the medication so how do I

will not take the medication so how do I

will not take the medication so how do I deal with them well the approach is

deal with them well the approach is

deal with them well the approach is believe it or not I told you earlier

believe it or not I told you earlier

believe it or not I told you earlier that this is about relationships we have

that this is about relationships we have

that this is about relationships we have to create respectful non-judgmental

to create respectful non-judgmental

to create respectful non-judgmental relationships these the research shows

relationships these the research shows

relationships these the research shows result in acceptance of treatment for an

result in acceptance of treatment for an

result in acceptance of treatment for an illness the person doesn’t believe they

illness the person doesn’t believe they

illness the person doesn’t believe they have so if Richard comes to me five

have so if Richard comes to me five

have so if Richard comes to me five years from now and he tells me his story

years from now and he tells me his story

years from now and he tells me his story I would listen to it with respect and

I would listen to it with respect and

I would listen to it with respect and without judgment that Ellen LEEP stands

without judgment that Ellen LEEP stands

without judgment that Ellen LEEP stands for listening reflectively again with

for listening reflectively again with

for listening reflectively again with respect and without judgment so after he

respect and without judgment so after he

respect and without judgment so after he tells me his story I would say so you

tells me his story I would say so you

tells me his story I would say so you went to that TEDx talk and they took

went to that TEDx talk and they took

went to that TEDx talk and they took away your wife your home everything did

away your wife your home everything did

away your wife your home everything did I understand you correctly which would

I understand you correctly which would

I understand you correctly which would be very different than what had been

be very different than what had been

be very different than what had been hearing which is you know Richard we

hearing which is you know Richard we

hearing which is you know Richard we want you to calm down we’ve got to keep

want you to calm down we’ve got to keep

want you to calm down we’ve got to keep you away from Eleanor and what we’ve

you away from Eleanor and what we’ve

you away from Eleanor and what we’ve learned through doing a lot of research

learned through doing a lot of research

learned through doing a lot of research is that people with these illnesses feel

is that people with these illnesses feel

is that people with these illnesses feel relief now this is not dishonest I’m not

relief now this is not dishonest I’m not

relief now this is not dishonest I’m not pretending

pretending

pretending I believe I’m simply reflecting back his

I believe I’m simply reflecting back his

I believe I’m simply reflecting back his experience I would empathize with

experience I would empathize with

experience I would empathize with Richard strategically especially with

Richard strategically especially with

Richard strategically especially with the emotions around the delusions it

the emotions around the delusions it

the emotions around the delusions it must be terrible to have this happen how

must be terrible to have this happen how

must be terrible to have this happen how was it for you well I was resistant were

was it for you well I was resistant were

was it for you well I was resistant were you angry yes I was angry you know what

you angry yes I was angry you know what

you angry yes I was angry you know what Richard I’d be angry too we work on

Richard I’d be angry too we work on

Richard I’d be angry too we work on those things we could agree on it’s

those things we could agree on it’s

those things we could agree on it’s never going to be that Richard is not

never going to be that Richard is not

never going to be that Richard is not married to Eleanor

married to Eleanor

married to Eleanor that’s a delusion we’ve known that for

that’s a delusion we’ve known that for

that’s a delusion we’ve known that for 60 years we don’t try to talk people out

60 years we don’t try to talk people out

60 years we don’t try to talk people out of their delusions well we also don’t

of their delusions well we also don’t

of their delusions well we also don’t try to talk people out of their ana

try to talk people out of their ana

try to talk people out of their ana signo Xia there unawareness of mental

signo Xia there unawareness of mental

signo Xia there unawareness of mental illness we partner on what we can work

illness we partner on what we can work

illness we partner on what we can work on together there’s three other tools we

on together there’s three other tools we

on together there’s three other tools we use but again the focus is respectful

use but again the focus is respectful

use but again the focus is respectful non-judgmental communication so with my

non-judgmental communication so with my

non-judgmental communication so with my brother so mom’s the devil in her eyes

brother so mom’s the devil in her eyes

brother so mom’s the devil in her eyes or laser beams is that what you’re

or laser beams is that what you’re

or laser beams is that what you’re saying yes well no wonder you’re so

saying yes well no wonder you’re so

saying yes well no wonder you’re so terrified of her I would be too Henry if

terrified of her I would be too Henry if

terrified of her I would be too Henry if this happened to me those are the kind

this happened to me those are the kind

this happened to me those are the kind of conversations I had with him if he

of conversations I had with him if he

of conversations I had with him if he asked me do you really believe this if

asked me do you really believe this if

asked me do you really believe this if Richard asked me do you really believe

Richard asked me do you really believe

Richard asked me do you really believe I’m sick I might delay we call it the

I’m sick I might delay we call it the

I’m sick I might delay we call it the three A’s

three A’s

three A’s I apologize for my opinion I acknowledge

I apologize for my opinion I acknowledge

I apologize for my opinion I acknowledge my phal ability agree to disagree what

my phal ability agree to disagree what

my phal ability agree to disagree what does that sound like Richard I’ll answer

does that sound like Richard I’ll answer

does that sound like Richard I’ll answer the question if you want me to but I

the question if you want me to but I

the question if you want me to but I want to apologize I might upset you and

want to apologize I might upset you and

want to apologize I might upset you and I could be wrong I hope you don’t have

I could be wrong I hope you don’t have

I could be wrong I hope you don’t have to argue when we give our opinion we’re

to argue when we give our opinion we’re

to argue when we give our opinion we’re using those three tools and then we’re

using those three tools and then we’re

using those three tools and then we’re not afraid to apologize for things like

not afraid to apologize for things like

not afraid to apologize for things like previous confrontations like I did with

previous confrontations like I did with

previous confrontations like I did with my brother apologize for things like an

my brother apologize for things like an

my brother apologize for things like an involuntary hospitalization that we were

involuntary hospitalization that we were

involuntary hospitalization that we were a part of sometimes people will say why

a part of sometimes people will say why

a part of sometimes people will say why are you repeating everything I say the

are you repeating everything I say the

are you repeating everything I say the research shows is you can apologize for

research shows is you can apologize for

research shows is you can apologize for that I’m sorry I’m repeating everything

that I’m sorry I’m repeating everything

that I’m sorry I’m repeating everything I just want to understand you I wasn’t

I just want to understand you I wasn’t

I just want to understand you I wasn’t listening before I kept telling you you

listening before I kept telling you you

listening before I kept telling you you were ill I’d like to listen so it’s a

were ill I’d like to listen so it’s a

were ill I’d like to listen so it’s a very different approach it’s not the

very different approach it’s not the

very different approach it’s not the medical model approach it’s the

medical model approach it’s the

medical model approach it’s the motivational interviewing approach it’s

motivational interviewing approach it’s

motivational interviewing approach it’s a whole other field of study and I’ll

a whole other field of study and I’ll

a whole other field of study and I’ll end with some closure on the story of my

end with some closure on the story of my

end with some closure on the story of my brother I lost sight of who my brother

brother I lost sight of who my brother

brother I lost sight of who my brother was in those seven years that we fought

was in those seven years that we fought

was in those seven years that we fought he was a mature kind selfless person he

he was a mature kind selfless person he

he was a mature kind selfless person he died being Henry

died being Henry

died being Henry he was safely on a city bus heard a

he was safely on a city bus heard a

he was safely on a city bus heard a woman behind him struggling with

woman behind him struggling with

woman behind him struggling with groceries he got off the bus got on a

groceries he got off the bus got on a

groceries he got off the bus got on a sidewalk and was handing her groceries

sidewalk and was handing her groceries

sidewalk and was handing her groceries when someone who had lost control of

when someone who had lost control of

when someone who had lost control of their car ran him down he saved that

their car ran him down he saved that

their car ran him down he saved that woman’s life it was an act of kindness

woman’s life it was an act of kindness

woman’s life it was an act of kindness that he was engaged in when his life

that he was engaged in when his life

that he was engaged in when his life ended he had a very good life for those

ended he had a very good life for those

ended he had a very good life for those 18 years he had a girlfriend he had work

18 years he had a girlfriend he had work

18 years he had a girlfriend he had work and he had his relationships back as

and he had his relationships back as

and he had his relationships back as that picture I showed you I think

that picture I showed you I think

that picture I showed you I think demonstrates best so how we approach

demonstrates best so how we approach

demonstrates best so how we approach people who have these illnesses who say

people who have these illnesses who say

people who have these illnesses who say I’m not sick is vitally important and

I’m not sick is vitally important and

I’m not sick is vitally important and the relationships we build are the key

the relationships we build are the key

the relationships we build are the key thank you

thank you

thank you [Applause]

”

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