Do you know anyone who has a hearing problem?
Or do you suffer from such a problem?
Poor listening leads to misunderstanding
And strained relations
And even wars
By the way, I wanted to tell you, I’m deaf
I do not want you to think I’m doing the worst
Of Arnold Schwarzenegger (American actor)
(Applause.) (Laughter)
I’m here to share with you how to listen
I know it’s strange
That gives a deaf person tips on listening
(Laughter)
What will happen next?
Blind person gives tips in decor?
(Laughter)
Or give Donald Trump tips on hair care?
(Laughter) (Applause) (Encouragement)
Do you feel that all you say comes from permission and comes out of another?
Or in my case, enter into the eye and come out of the other?
(Laughter)
Several years ago, I was preparing for a Grammy appointment
With my future wife, Ann Marie
I found that I was deaf before our appointment
She bought the book “Learning Sign Language for the Fools”
(Laughter)
How great it is
(clap)
The only problem was that I did not know any sign language
(Laughter)
Instead of offensive words
In time, Ann Marie explained
That my dad was in an environment you hear
All I have to do is look at your lips and understand what you’re saying
By the way, you have the most beautiful lips in the world
(Laughter)
Our relationship has become a romantic relationship
And we have become a wonderful child
(clap)
Ann Marie says I listen better than anyone I’ve met
(Laughter)
But you know something, it was not always easy for me
No one as well lives an easy life always
I faced my challenges
You face your challenges and I meet my challenges
I was having difficulty communicating
Because my isolation from people was out of the question
My worst stage was at the age of 15
I was with my best friend, Chris
We were in the scouts together, and they called us twins
Because we did everything together, including scouting
I was the only deafman in the Scout troop
We were going to Scout camp together
The second night we had fun
We set fire to a very dense
It was so hot that the devil would burn if he sat next to it
(Laughter)
We used to enjoy our time, we were like drunken sailors
(Laughter)
We roast sausages
I was sitting next to the firewood with my companions
They all speak
I had difficulty reading their mouths
Especially with flashes of fire flames
The situation was similar to assembling puzzle pieces
Without the presence of the image
All I knew was that Chris had a great story about Mr. Brown
When he finished his story, my companions were laughing
Did not pay attention to the joke
I said, “Chris, Chris, what did Mr. Brown say?”
He said to me: “Do not bother”
“What did Mr. Brown say?”
” Do not care”
So I went to another companion
“Scott, what did Mr. Brown say?”
” Do not care”
They did not see the pain drawn on the features of my face
Because I really wanted to know what they were saying
I took the scout out of my pocket
(Laughter)
So I can read Chris’ lips
I said, “Chris, what did Mr. Brown say?”
Chris says: “Oh I can not see”
I wondered why he did not talk to me after that night
(Laughter)
I returned to my tent
Lonely
Insulated, I feel abandoned
They were talking and laughing
If they saw the pain drawn on my face, my heart
They would have understood it better
Have you encountered bad experiences before with the problem of listening?
We will pay a heavy price for this problem
Differences of opinion, lack of respect
Difficult to understand
Difficulty of tolerance and empathy
I’m surprised people can hear but do not use their ears
I may be deaf, but I knew how to listen better
I am happy to share with you
It’s really simple
Includes three steps
1. Listen attentively
This means that you live the event and the moment
Do not listen to what others say to answer
Focus on the person’s speech
When you do that, you give it something we all crave:
interest
2 – to listen to your eyes
This may simply be to consider the person
To the language of his body, how to move his arms
Facial expressions
For example, if you are driving
There is a person in the road screaming: “Ihah”
Here it seems clear what they want to say to me
(Laughter)
It is time to stand on the edge of the road
(Laughter and applause)
I am surprised, surprised by the people who do not even
They look at the other person when he speaks
If you see the eye directly, in most cultures
This is the greatest form of communication
3 – Listen to your heart
Open your heart to feel what the other person wants to say
When you do, you will know
Where they came from, what their feelings and feelings are
Sometimes they just want to understand
Without trying to pay attention to the positive side
If someone says “I’m bankrupt”
Never say: “At least you will not pay taxes”
(Laughter)
Sometimes the words
Do not match their meanings
Another day my wife bought a hideous bag
(Laughter)
Looks like a dead animal on the road
(Laughter)
She said:
” Steven !”
(Encouragement)
“What do you think of my bag?”
(Laughter)
She does not ask for my opinion
(Laughter)
Are looking for courtesy
(Laughter)
(Applause and encouragement)
Real listening consists of:
Listen attentively
Listen with your eyes
Hear with your heart
Because I am deaf, I have to become proficient in that
But I have to train
On another day I was losing another argument with my wife
(Laughter)
So I did it
(Laughter)
It does so
“Steven !”
“Steven !”
(Laughter)
“do you hear me ?”
“Stephen, do you hear me?”
(Laughter, applause and encouragement)
If you listen with your eyes and your heart
And you are interested, your relationships will become stronger
Do you remember my friend Chris who ignored me in the camp?
When we grew up, we learned to listen to each other
Respect, understanding and empathy
We went back again and was seen by the groom at my wedding party
(clap)
What I promise you is that if you do what you have done today
The universe will open you wide
People will want to listen to what you say
So loud and high that you may be deaf
(Applause and encouragement)
”
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