you may not realize it but some of you are sitting on the secret to showing up
are sitting on the secret to showing up
are sitting on the secret to showing up at work now you might be saying hey I
at work now you might be saying hey I
at work now you might be saying hey I show up to work every day but that’s not
show up to work every day but that’s not
show up to work every day but that’s not what I mean
what I mean
what I mean I mean being seen heard even cared for
I mean being seen heard even cared for
I mean being seen heard even cared for at work and why does that matter it’s a
at work and why does that matter it’s a
at work and why does that matter it’s a number one challenge facing companies
number one challenge facing companies
number one challenge facing companies today almost 70% of US workers are
today almost 70% of US workers are
today almost 70% of US workers are disengaged and it’s costing businesses
disengaged and it’s costing businesses
disengaged and it’s costing businesses five hundred and fifty billion dollars
five hundred and fifty billion dollars
five hundred and fifty billion dollars every year listen I know I’m not telling
every year listen I know I’m not telling
every year listen I know I’m not telling anything shocking here whether we’re an
anything shocking here whether we’re an
anything shocking here whether we’re an employee or a CEO we see the benefits
employee or a CEO we see the benefits
employee or a CEO we see the benefits that companies like Google and Zappos
that companies like Google and Zappos
that companies like Google and Zappos have created in their culture and we
have created in their culture and we
have created in their culture and we want these for ourselves we want to be
want these for ourselves we want to be
want these for ourselves we want to be more connected with our colleagues feel
more connected with our colleagues feel
more connected with our colleagues feel fulfilled and have an opportunity to
fulfilled and have an opportunity to
fulfilled and have an opportunity to make a real impact one study found that
make a real impact one study found that
make a real impact one study found that organizations with engaged employees
organizations with engaged employees
organizations with engaged employees experienced a 19% increase in operating
experienced a 19% increase in operating
experienced a 19% increase in operating profit over a 12-month period of time so
profit over a 12-month period of time so
profit over a 12-month period of time so how can we get it it’s one thing to give
how can we get it it’s one thing to give
how can we get it it’s one thing to give someone a nice desk maybe some perks but
someone a nice desk maybe some perks but
someone a nice desk maybe some perks but how do we get people to like each other
how do we get people to like each other
how do we get people to like each other even become friends in 1997 psychologist
even become friends in 1997 psychologist
even become friends in 1997 psychologist or Thor Aaron conducted a famous
or Thor Aaron conducted a famous
or Thor Aaron conducted a famous experiment that gives us a hint over the
experiment that gives us a hint over the
experiment that gives us a hint over the course of 45 minutes participants asked
course of 45 minutes participants asked
course of 45 minutes participants asked each other 36 questions and the question
each other 36 questions and the question
each other 36 questions and the question started simply given the choice of
started simply given the choice of
started simply given the choice of anyone whom would you want as a dinner
anyone whom would you want as a dinner
anyone whom would you want as a dinner guest but soon they became much more
guest but soon they became much more
guest but soon they became much more revealing if you were to die tonight
revealing if you were to die tonight
revealing if you were to die tonight without the ability to communicate with
without the ability to communicate with
without the ability to communicate with anyone what would you most regret not
anyone what would you most regret not
anyone what would you most regret not telling them and why haven’t you told
telling them and why haven’t you told
telling them and why haven’t you told them yet Aaron wanted to explore whether
them yet Aaron wanted to explore whether
them yet Aaron wanted to explore whether complete strangers could bond informed
complete strangers could bond informed
complete strangers could bond informed deep close friendships just by asking
deep close friendships just by asking
deep close friendships just by asking questions so what do you think could
questions so what do you think could
questions so what do you think could simply ask in questions be the basis of
simply ask in questions be the basis of
simply ask in questions be the basis of lasting relationships yes
lasting relationships yes
lasting relationships yes 30% of the participants rated the
30% of the participants rated the
30% of the participants rated the relationship they just created as closer
relationship they just created as closer
relationship they just created as closer than the closest relationship in their
than the closest relationship in their
than the closest relationship in their 57% of the participants got together
57% of the participants got together
57% of the participants got together after the study on their own and one of
after the study on their own and one of
after the study on their own and one of the pairs got engaged and invited
the pairs got engaged and invited
the pairs got engaged and invited everyone to the wedding imagine feeling
everyone to the wedding imagine feeling
everyone to the wedding imagine feeling that way about the people that you spent
that way about the people that you spent
that way about the people that you spent 8 10 12 hours a day with at work so why
8 10 12 hours a day with at work so why
8 10 12 hours a day with at work so why don’t we because we’re not showing up to
don’t we because we’re not showing up to
don’t we because we’re not showing up to work
work
work not really let me explain I worked with
not really let me explain I worked with
not really let me explain I worked with this guy named Jim Jim is a very
this guy named Jim Jim is a very
this guy named Jim Jim is a very successful CEO and a large organization
successful CEO and a large organization
successful CEO and a large organization outside of work he’s laid-back caring
outside of work he’s laid-back caring
outside of work he’s laid-back caring and helps others he coaches his son’s
and helps others he coaches his son’s
and helps others he coaches his son’s little league baseball team and he
little league baseball team and he
little league baseball team and he serves on the board of a charity but at
serves on the board of a charity but at
serves on the board of a charity but at work he’s bossy and can be a real jerk
work he’s bossy and can be a real jerk
work he’s bossy and can be a real jerk he often criticizes key leaders publicly
he often criticizes key leaders publicly
he often criticizes key leaders publicly and his leaders are constantly anxious
and his leaders are constantly anxious
and his leaders are constantly anxious because they never know what mood Jim is
because they never know what mood Jim is
because they never know what mood Jim is going to be in his standoffish style
going to be in his standoffish style
going to be in his standoffish style alienates him from employees and when he
alienates him from employees and when he
alienates him from employees and when he walks around the office people feel like
walks around the office people feel like
walks around the office people feel like they can’t approach him even though he
they can’t approach him even though he
they can’t approach him even though he believes the exact opposite he’s missing
believes the exact opposite he’s missing
believes the exact opposite he’s missing out on key ideas and feedback that’s
out on key ideas and feedback that’s
out on key ideas and feedback that’s hurting company performance the thing is
hurting company performance the thing is
hurting company performance the thing is there isn’t just one Jim there are
there isn’t just one Jim there are
there isn’t just one Jim there are thousands of him in her I’ve worked with
thousands of him in her I’ve worked with
thousands of him in her I’ve worked with hundreds of CEOs and executives over the
hundreds of CEOs and executives over the
hundreds of CEOs and executives over the last two decades and I see it all the
last two decades and I see it all the
last two decades and I see it all the time the way we connect engage outside
time the way we connect engage outside
time the way we connect engage outside of work is different than inside so we
of work is different than inside so we
of work is different than inside so we set out to discover why let’s think
set out to discover why let’s think
set out to discover why let’s think about what we do when we’re outside of
about what we do when we’re outside of
about what we do when we’re outside of work at play the role of play is to
work at play the role of play is to
work at play the role of play is to connect with others it teaches us to
connect with others it teaches us to
connect with others it teaches us to communicate and collaborate think about
communicate and collaborate think about
communicate and collaborate think about what you do when you’re out play
what you do when you’re out play
what you do when you’re out play activities events conversations and more
activities events conversations and more
activities events conversations and more and a huge benefit of play is that it
and a huge benefit of play is that it
and a huge benefit of play is that it makes us feel safe and that’s extremely
makes us feel safe and that’s extremely
makes us feel safe and that’s extremely powerful in the workplace Google found
powerful in the workplace Google found
powerful in the workplace Google found that psychological safety is the most
that psychological safety is the most
that psychological safety is the most critical factor for maximizing team
critical factor for maximizing team
critical factor for maximizing team performance and it’s the ability of
performance and it’s the ability of
performance and it’s the ability of group members to connect on a personal
group members to connect on a personal
group members to connect on a personal level to feel comfortable to ask
level to feel comfortable to ask
level to feel comfortable to ask questions and to raise controversial
questions and to raise controversial
questions and to raise controversial ideas google found that individuals on
ideas google found that individuals on
ideas google found that individuals on teams with higher psychological safety
teams with higher psychological safety
teams with higher psychological safety scores brought in more revenue and were
scores brought in more revenue and were
scores brought in more revenue and were rated effective twice as often by Google
rated effective twice as often by Google
rated effective twice as often by Google executives why because it leads to
executives why because it leads to
executives why because it leads to better ideas by sharing and caring and
better ideas by sharing and caring and
better ideas by sharing and caring and play is great at that play can bring
play is great at that play can bring
play is great at that play can bring people together and allow them to open
people together and allow them to open
people together and allow them to open up much quicker and by putting the focus
up much quicker and by putting the focus
up much quicker and by putting the focus on the activity rather than the
on the activity rather than the
on the activity rather than the conversation it reduces
conversation it reduces
conversation it reduces self-consciousness introverts take
self-consciousness introverts take
self-consciousness introverts take notice and that’s what Aaron was able to
notice and that’s what Aaron was able to
notice and that’s what Aaron was able to do by setting up of gamed questions
do by setting up of gamed questions
do by setting up of gamed questions he created lifelong connections just by
he created lifelong connections just by
he created lifelong connections just by asking questions but these just weren’t
asking questions but these just weren’t
asking questions but these just weren’t any questions they were vulnerable self
any questions they were vulnerable self
any questions they were vulnerable self disclosures but before we can get these
disclosures but before we can get these
disclosures but before we can get these types of conversations in a workplace in
types of conversations in a workplace in
types of conversations in a workplace in the engagement we want we have to show
the engagement we want we have to show
the engagement we want we have to show up and that’s not happening we dismiss
up and that’s not happening we dismiss
up and that’s not happening we dismiss vulnerability in the workplace saving it
vulnerability in the workplace saving it
vulnerability in the workplace saving it for our loved ones
for our loved ones
for our loved ones think about when’s the last time you sat
think about when’s the last time you sat
think about when’s the last time you sat down at work and shared a difficult
down at work and shared a difficult
down at work and shared a difficult personal struggle to someone if you have
personal struggle to someone if you have
personal struggle to someone if you have great most people aren’t doing it and if
great most people aren’t doing it and if
great most people aren’t doing it and if we’re not we’re hiding who we are we’re
we’re not we’re hiding who we are we’re
we’re not we’re hiding who we are we’re not fully engaging and that’s killing
not fully engaging and that’s killing
not fully engaging and that’s killing our companies and killing us 42% of
our companies and killing us 42% of
our companies and killing us 42% of people don’t have any friends at work
people don’t have any friends at work
people don’t have any friends at work and loneliness is as dangerous as
and loneliness is as dangerous as
and loneliness is as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day yet the
smoking 15 cigarettes a day yet the
smoking 15 cigarettes a day yet the research overwhelmingly states that both
research overwhelmingly states that both
research overwhelmingly states that both organizations and individuals win when
organizations and individuals win when
organizations and individuals win when we prioritize building relationships
we prioritize building relationships
we prioritize building relationships seventy percent of people said the
seventy percent of people said the
seventy percent of people said the number one factor for having a happy
number one factor for having a happy
number one factor for having a happy workplace is having friends
workplace is having friends
workplace is having friends an employee with a closed work friend is
an employee with a closed work friend is
an employee with a closed work friend is seven times more productive and loyal so
seven times more productive and loyal so
seven times more productive and loyal so we need to find a way to foster the role
we need to find a way to foster the role
we need to find a way to foster the role of play and psychological safety at work
of play and psychological safety at work
of play and psychological safety at work and then it hit me the answer was there
and then it hit me the answer was there
and then it hit me the answer was there all along
all along
all along if plague is the easiest way for
if plague is the easiest way for
if plague is the easiest way for engagement why not play at work could we
engagement why not play at work could we
engagement why not play at work could we start by playing games like little kids
start by playing games like little kids
start by playing games like little kids do quit Aaron’s experiment work with
do quit Aaron’s experiment work with
do quit Aaron’s experiment work with colleagues
colleagues
colleagues so I created a game it’s called the
so I created a game it’s called the
so I created a game it’s called the cards against Montana tea and some of
cards against Montana tea and some of
cards against Montana tea and some of you are literally sitting on them I did
you are literally sitting on them I did
you are literally sitting on them I did say you were sitting on the secret to
say you were sitting on the secret to
say you were sitting on the secret to showing up at work after all under your
showing up at work after all under your
showing up at work after all under your chair is a card with a question on it
it’s an actual card from the game and
it’s an actual card from the game and there are two types of questions there
there are two types of questions there
there are two types of questions there are conversation starters what was your
are conversation starters what was your
are conversation starters what was your favorite summer job and why and
favorite summer job and why and
favorite summer job and why and connection questions which are much more
connection questions which are much more
connection questions which are much more revealing if you could pick one year of
revealing if you could pick one year of
revealing if you could pick one year of your life to do over which one would it
your life to do over which one would it
your life to do over which one would it be and why now usually before we play
be and why now usually before we play
be and why now usually before we play this game at work it comes after a short
this game at work it comes after a short
this game at work it comes after a short activities such as a cooking class or
activities such as a cooking class or
activities such as a cooking class or wine tasting and no not because there’s
wine tasting and no not because there’s
wine tasting and no not because there’s alcohol involved but people need time to
alcohol involved but people need time to
alcohol involved but people need time to decompress and transition their mindset
decompress and transition their mindset
decompress and transition their mindset from work to play but this TEDx event is
from work to play but this TEDx event is
from work to play but this TEDx event is a social event so we’re all good who has
a social event so we’re all good who has
a social event so we’re all good who has a question that they will be willing to
a question that they will be willing to
a question that they will be willing to read
the question is what superpower would
the question is what superpower would you like to have I want everyone to
you like to have I want everyone to
you like to have I want everyone to think to themselves how would you answer
think to themselves how would you answer
think to themselves how would you answer that question well I’ll go first
that question well I’ll go first
that question well I’ll go first the sphere of power that I’d most like
the sphere of power that I’d most like
the sphere of power that I’d most like to have is to be an early-morning riser
to have is to be an early-morning riser
to have is to be an early-morning riser while I love my cup of coffee I’d love
while I love my cup of coffee I’d love
while I love my cup of coffee I’d love to jump out of bed just like a
to jump out of bed just like a
to jump out of bed just like a jackrabbit with that much energy see not
jackrabbit with that much energy see not
jackrabbit with that much energy see not so hard
so hard
so hard the game is question answer question
the game is question answer question
the game is question answer question answer four to twelve people everyone
answer four to twelve people everyone
answer four to twelve people everyone answers at least three questions take
answers at least three questions take
answers at least three questions take the top card read it answer it
the top card read it answer it
the top card read it answer it put it on the bottom next person goes to
put it on the bottom next person goes to
put it on the bottom next person goes to keep the game going use a two minute
keep the game going use a two minute
keep the game going use a two minute maximum and answering questions and the
maximum and answering questions and the
maximum and answering questions and the leader starts out by answering a
leader starts out by answering a
leader starts out by answering a connection question at the end of the
connection question at the end of the
connection question at the end of the game everyone has one minute to share
game everyone has one minute to share
game everyone has one minute to share one thing that they learned about three
one thing that they learned about three
one thing that they learned about three different people what happens
different people what happens
different people what happens well some people dive right in some
well some people dive right in some
well some people dive right in some people take a little longer to get
people take a little longer to get
people take a little longer to get warmed up people smile they laugh they
warmed up people smile they laugh they
warmed up people smile they laugh they cry and they walk away feeling more
cry and they walk away feeling more
cry and they walk away feeling more supported and connected with the group
supported and connected with the group
supported and connected with the group and it carries into their performance
and it carries into their performance
and it carries into their performance teams crush their metrics sales beats
teams crush their metrics sales beats
teams crush their metrics sales beats forecasts there’s an immediate impact
forecasts there’s an immediate impact
forecasts there’s an immediate impact afterwards why because you learn about
afterwards why because you learn about
afterwards why because you learn about people’s histories their stories and
people’s histories their stories and
people’s histories their stories and their struggles but it can’t end with a
their struggles but it can’t end with a
their struggles but it can’t end with a game to create true engagement we have
game to create true engagement we have
game to create true engagement we have to build on it we have to keep on
to build on it we have to keep on
to build on it we have to keep on connecting we have to make it a company
connecting we have to make it a company
connecting we have to make it a company priority we’ve got to build it in the
priority we’ve got to build it in the
priority we’ve got to build it in the budgets we have to bet it in the culture
budgets we have to bet it in the culture
budgets we have to bet it in the culture and core values because when people feel
and core values because when people feel
and core values because when people feel cared for they put forth their best
cared for they put forth their best
cared for they put forth their best effort because they don’t want to
effort because they don’t want to
effort because they don’t want to disappoint other people and the results
disappoint other people and the results
disappoint other people and the results productivity goes up costs go down more
productivity goes up costs go down more
productivity goes up costs go down more collaboration more innovation lack of
collaboration more innovation lack of
collaboration more innovation lack of engagement in the workplace is that an
engagement in the workplace is that an
engagement in the workplace is that an epidemic proportion it’s killing
epidemic proportion it’s killing
epidemic proportion it’s killing performance productivity and long term
performance productivity and long term
performance productivity and long term success
success
success the answer is connection and the
the answer is connection and the
the answer is connection and the quickest way to jumpstart connection is
quickest way to jumpstart connection is
quickest way to jumpstart connection is play it all starts with a simple
play it all starts with a simple
play it all starts with a simple question you have one to ask go ask it
question you have one to ask go ask it
question you have one to ask go ask it thank you and go play
thank you and go play
thank you and go play [Applause]
”
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