you disgust me you are lazy hopeless and you’ll never change you’re too fat
you’ll never change you’re too fat
you’ll never change you’re too fat anyway why would anyone want you I asked
anyway why would anyone want you I asked
anyway why would anyone want you I asked women to share the worst things they
women to share the worst things they
women to share the worst things they said about their bodies and this is what
said about their bodies and this is what
said about their bodies and this is what they told me this could be your sister
they told me this could be your sister
they told me this could be your sister or your friend or maybe it’s you your
or your friend or maybe it’s you your
or your friend or maybe it’s you your inner critic is a thought bully and it
inner critic is a thought bully and it
inner critic is a thought bully and it can make you feel unworthy just for how
can make you feel unworthy just for how
can make you feel unworthy just for how you look and it probably started years
you look and it probably started years
you look and it probably started years ago there is an 80% chance that by the
ago there is an 80% chance that by the
ago there is an 80% chance that by the time we were 15 years old you already
time we were 15 years old you already
time we were 15 years old you already hated your body you probably tried your
hated your body you probably tried your
hated your body you probably tried your first diet by the age of 10 and you were
first diet by the age of 10 and you were
first diet by the age of 10 and you were regularly skipping meals to lose weight
regularly skipping meals to lose weight
regularly skipping meals to lose weight you were more afraid of weight gain than
you were more afraid of weight gain than
you were more afraid of weight gain than getting cancer or losing your parents
getting cancer or losing your parents
getting cancer or losing your parents and for some of you body image problems
and for some of you body image problems
and for some of you body image problems could have started as young as age 3 now
could have started as young as age 3 now
could have started as young as age 3 now I know that last one could be a
I know that last one could be a
I know that last one could be a difficult number to believe I have a
difficult number to believe I have a
difficult number to believe I have a four year old and she loves her body I
four year old and she loves her body I
four year old and she loves her body I can’t imagine her distrusting it so
can’t imagine her distrusting it so
can’t imagine her distrusting it so early in life but the fact is body
early in life but the fact is body
early in life but the fact is body dissatisfaction happens far too young
dissatisfaction happens far too young
dissatisfaction happens far too young and for no good reason
and for no good reason
and for no good reason this struggle is practically our destiny
this struggle is practically our destiny
this struggle is practically our destiny not because of our DNA but because we
not because of our DNA but because we
not because of our DNA but because we have been conditioned to believe that
have been conditioned to believe that
have been conditioned to believe that our bodies are problems in our culture
our bodies are problems in our culture
our bodies are problems in our culture you better hope that you fit the narrow
you better hope that you fit the narrow
you better hope that you fit the narrow criteria for weight and shape or you’ll
criteria for weight and shape or you’ll
criteria for weight and shape or you’ll be excluded we see this play out with
be excluded we see this play out with
be excluded we see this play out with kids we’re 12 to 14 year olds in larger
kids we’re 12 to 14 year olds in larger
kids we’re 12 to 14 year olds in larger bodies are teased by their peers and
bodies are teased by their peers and
bodies are teased by their peers and even their own family members in the
even their own family members in the
even their own family members in the workplace competence and intelligence is
workplace competence and intelligence is
workplace competence and intelligence is judged based on weight and for women the
judged based on weight and for women the
judged based on weight and for women the discrimination can start at a size 14
discrimination can start at a size 14
discrimination can start at a size 14 well 67
well 67
well 67 set of American women or a size 14 or
set of American women or a size 14 or
set of American women or a size 14 or higher this weight stigma hurts everyone
higher this weight stigma hurts everyone
higher this weight stigma hurts everyone throughout our lives our minds absorb
throughout our lives our minds absorb
throughout our lives our minds absorb negative messages from our environment
negative messages from our environment
negative messages from our environment in our inner critic flourishes
in our inner critic flourishes
in our inner critic flourishes unchallenged until it just becomes the
unchallenged until it just becomes the
unchallenged until it just becomes the voice of who we are and this can lower
voice of who we are and this can lower
voice of who we are and this can lower our self-esteem and get in the way of us
our self-esteem and get in the way of us
our self-esteem and get in the way of us accomplishing goals I learned how to
accomplishing goals I learned how to
accomplishing goals I learned how to body bash as a teenager the magazines
body bash as a teenager the magazines
body bash as a teenager the magazines were great teachers and I was the eager
were great teachers and I was the eager
were great teachers and I was the eager student always trying to fix my body and
student always trying to fix my body and
student always trying to fix my body and page by glossy page I was told this is
page by glossy page I was told this is
page by glossy page I was told this is what health looks like so I followed the
what health looks like so I followed the
what health looks like so I followed the advice as if secrets to looking hot and
advice as if secrets to looking hot and
advice as if secrets to looking hot and your bikini is really the most important
your bikini is really the most important
your bikini is really the most important thing a young girl should worry about I
thing a young girl should worry about I
thing a young girl should worry about I spent most of my life struggling with a
spent most of my life struggling with a
spent most of my life struggling with a mind that was disease where food was
mind that was disease where food was
mind that was disease where food was celebrated when I didn’t eat it or
celebrated when I didn’t eat it or
celebrated when I didn’t eat it or diligently burned it off with exercise
diligently burned it off with exercise
diligently burned it off with exercise where the scale often dictated my mood
where the scale often dictated my mood
where the scale often dictated my mood and it was the number on the inside of
and it was the number on the inside of
and it was the number on the inside of my pants not my unique qualities that
my pants not my unique qualities that
my pants not my unique qualities that determined my value I was able to hide
determined my value I was able to hide
determined my value I was able to hide my pain and ironically I was often
my pain and ironically I was often
my pain and ironically I was often congratulated for my so-called healthy
congratulated for my so-called healthy
congratulated for my so-called healthy lifestyle but this unhealthy mindset
lifestyle but this unhealthy mindset
lifestyle but this unhealthy mindset followed me through college and even
followed me through college and even
followed me through college and even early in my career as a registered
early in my career as a registered
early in my career as a registered dietician and fitness expert a field I
dietician and fitness expert a field I
dietician and fitness expert a field I entered with the goal to help people get
entered with the goal to help people get
entered with the goal to help people get healthy but several years ago if you
healthy but several years ago if you
healthy but several years ago if you came to see me and my weight management
came to see me and my weight management
came to see me and my weight management practice it would have went like this
practice it would have went like this
practice it would have went like this hello here’s your armband now don’t take
hello here’s your armband now don’t take
hello here’s your armband now don’t take this off I’m gonna know what you’re
this off I’m gonna know what you’re
this off I’m gonna know what you’re eating how much exercise you’re getting
eating how much exercise you’re getting
eating how much exercise you’re getting when you’re sleeping and I’ll probably
when you’re sleeping and I’ll probably
when you’re sleeping and I’ll probably be able to figure out when you’re having
be able to figure out when you’re having
be able to figure out when you’re having sex too thanks for your money I’ll be
sex too thanks for your money I’ll be
sex too thanks for your money I’ll be watching you now who can guess how well
watching you now who can guess how well
watching you now who can guess how well that really went over for me the truth
that really went over for me the truth
that really went over for me the truth is they ate it up at first I mean I was
is they ate it up at first I mean I was
is they ate it up at first I mean I was going to save them from their hopeless
going to save them from their hopeless
going to save them from their hopeless bodies
bodies
bodies they were willing to do whatever it took
they were willing to do whatever it took
they were willing to do whatever it took the only problem is it didn’t work
the only problem is it didn’t work
the only problem is it didn’t work instead of trust there was shame instead
instead of trust there was shame instead
instead of trust there was shame instead of empathy there was a guilt my focus on
of empathy there was a guilt my focus on
of empathy there was a guilt my focus on weight loss did not help my clients
weight loss did not help my clients
weight loss did not help my clients improve their health and create better
improve their health and create better
improve their health and create better habits but their inner critics sure got
habits but their inner critics sure got
habits but their inner critics sure got stronger every pound not lost was just a
stronger every pound not lost was just a
stronger every pound not lost was just a reason to berate themselves a little bit
reason to berate themselves a little bit
reason to berate themselves a little bit more and even when I tried to help them
more and even when I tried to help them
more and even when I tried to help them take an optimistic view it didn’t matter
take an optimistic view it didn’t matter
take an optimistic view it didn’t matter because they were there to lose weight
because they were there to lose weight
because they were there to lose weight which I would later learn was much more
which I would later learn was much more
which I would later learn was much more about becoming accepted by society when
about becoming accepted by society when
about becoming accepted by society when I finally woke to the idea that I was
I finally woke to the idea that I was
I finally woke to the idea that I was failing my clients I became fully
failing my clients I became fully
failing my clients I became fully committed to figuring out what was
committed to figuring out what was
committed to figuring out what was really going on and I learned that my
really going on and I learned that my
really going on and I learned that my whole scheme was a side effect of a much
whole scheme was a side effect of a much
whole scheme was a side effect of a much more insidious problem diet culture a
more insidious problem diet culture a
more insidious problem diet culture a system built on the idea that you aren’t
system built on the idea that you aren’t
system built on the idea that you aren’t good enough unless you’re trying to lose
good enough unless you’re trying to lose
good enough unless you’re trying to lose weight where food is a moral issue
weight where food is a moral issue
weight where food is a moral issue individually good or bad depending on
individually good or bad depending on
individually good or bad depending on some obscure criteria and that bodies
some obscure criteria and that bodies
some obscure criteria and that bodies are judged as healthy or not based on
are judged as healthy or not based on
are judged as healthy or not based on their degree of fatness not facts diet
their degree of fatness not facts diet
their degree of fatness not facts diet culture has been gaslighting us for
culture has been gaslighting us for
culture has been gaslighting us for decades secretly feeding our inner
decades secretly feeding our inner
decades secretly feeding our inner critics and keeping us stuck in a game
critics and keeping us stuck in a game
critics and keeping us stuck in a game that we can’t win diet culture tells us
that we can’t win diet culture tells us
that we can’t win diet culture tells us if we follow the rules we will lose
if we follow the rules we will lose
if we follow the rules we will lose weight and we will get healthier but the
weight and we will get healthier but the
weight and we will get healthier but the opposite is actually true dieting is
opposite is actually true dieting is
opposite is actually true dieting is associated with increased anxiety
associated with increased anxiety
associated with increased anxiety depression eating disorders and weight
depression eating disorders and weight
depression eating disorders and weight gain you see the more times a person
gain you see the more times a person
gain you see the more times a person diets the higher their body mass index
diets the higher their body mass index
diets the higher their body mass index is likely to climb we have to create
is likely to climb we have to create
is likely to climb we have to create larger calorie deficits by restricting
larger calorie deficits by restricting
larger calorie deficits by restricting food and
food and
food and and increasing exercise just to keep up
and increasing exercise just to keep up
and increasing exercise just to keep up with the weight loss trend but the body
with the weight loss trend but the body
with the weight loss trend but the body fights back it slows down metabolism and
fights back it slows down metabolism and
fights back it slows down metabolism and increases hunger and appetite all the
increases hunger and appetite all the
increases hunger and appetite all the while driving a dieter mad with intense
while driving a dieter mad with intense
while driving a dieter mad with intense food cravings and urges to eat more
food cravings and urges to eat more
food cravings and urges to eat more quickly and larger volumes of food than
quickly and larger volumes of food than
quickly and larger volumes of food than before the diet
before the diet
before the diet this isn’t health you guys this is body
this isn’t health you guys this is body
this isn’t health you guys this is body oppression because there’s only room for
oppression because there’s only room for
oppression because there’s only room for one type of body and it doesn’t matter
one type of body and it doesn’t matter
one type of body and it doesn’t matter how bad you treat it as long as you’re
how bad you treat it as long as you’re
how bad you treat it as long as you’re making it smaller in the worst part is
making it smaller in the worst part is
making it smaller in the worst part is the mounting evidence that shows most
the mounting evidence that shows most
the mounting evidence that shows most people don’t keep weight loss off in the
people don’t keep weight loss off in the
people don’t keep weight loss off in the long term and those who do don’t live
long term and those who do don’t live
long term and those who do don’t live any longer than those who never put
any longer than those who never put
any longer than those who never put their bodies through the stress of
their bodies through the stress of
their bodies through the stress of dieting in the first place enough we
dieting in the first place enough we
dieting in the first place enough we have got to ask ourselves why are we
have got to ask ourselves why are we
have got to ask ourselves why are we selling weight loss programs as health
selling weight loss programs as health
selling weight loss programs as health solutions why are we even treating
solutions why are we even treating
solutions why are we even treating weight like it’s the problem we’ve got
weight like it’s the problem we’ve got
weight like it’s the problem we’ve got to get serious about real health and
to get serious about real health and
to get serious about real health and think outside of the body weight as the
think outside of the body weight as the
think outside of the body weight as the sign of our success we need to see the
sign of our success we need to see the
sign of our success we need to see the inner critic for what it really is just
inner critic for what it really is just
inner critic for what it really is just a bunch of unhelpful words put inside
a bunch of unhelpful words put inside
a bunch of unhelpful words put inside our minds that’s getting in the way of
our minds that’s getting in the way of
our minds that’s getting in the way of our progress and we need to cultivate a
our progress and we need to cultivate a
our progress and we need to cultivate a new voice that can help liberate us from
new voice that can help liberate us from
new voice that can help liberate us from diet culture and that voice is our inner
diet culture and that voice is our inner
diet culture and that voice is our inner caregiver
caregiver
caregiver the inner caregiver is born out of the
the inner caregiver is born out of the
the inner caregiver is born out of the desire to be good to yourself and that
desire to be good to yourself and that
desire to be good to yourself and that is where the magic of change happens you
is where the magic of change happens you
is where the magic of change happens you can’t hate yourself healthy but with
can’t hate yourself healthy but with
can’t hate yourself healthy but with kindness you can create a better life at
kindness you can create a better life at
kindness you can create a better life at any size think of your caregiver like
any size think of your caregiver like
any size think of your caregiver like your best friend who magically got
your best friend who magically got
your best friend who magically got inside your mind and is helping you make
inside your mind and is helping you make
inside your mind and is helping you make choices that put your well-being first
choices that put your well-being first
choices that put your well-being first so you do the workout without
so you do the workout without
so you do the workout without criticizing your performance
criticizing your performance
criticizing your performance you find joy in cooking healthy food but
you find joy in cooking healthy food but
you find joy in cooking healthy food but instead of fretting over calories you
instead of fretting over calories you
instead of fretting over calories you realize that a little butter and a
realize that a little butter and a
realize that a little butter and a little salt can transform the taste of
little salt can transform the taste of
little salt can transform the taste of vegetables it’s not a punishment to eat
vegetables it’s not a punishment to eat
vegetables it’s not a punishment to eat them anymore or you simply just realize
them anymore or you simply just realize
them anymore or you simply just realize that it is so much better when you don’t
that it is so much better when you don’t
that it is so much better when you don’t bully yourself your inner caregiver is
bully yourself your inner caregiver is
bully yourself your inner caregiver is going to help you enjoy your life as it
going to help you enjoy your life as it
going to help you enjoy your life as it is now without waiting for permission
is now without waiting for permission
is now without waiting for permission from somebody else so you say yes to
from somebody else so you say yes to
from somebody else so you say yes to posing in the picture you wear your
posing in the picture you wear your
posing in the picture you wear your bathing suit at the beach without always
bathing suit at the beach without always
bathing suit at the beach without always trying to cover it up and you’ve learned
trying to cover it up and you’ve learned
trying to cover it up and you’ve learned to enjoy your life as it is today no
to enjoy your life as it is today no
to enjoy your life as it is today no matter how strong your inner critic is
matter how strong your inner critic is
matter how strong your inner critic is you can cultivate a powerful caregiver
you can cultivate a powerful caregiver
you can cultivate a powerful caregiver so here’s what you do
so here’s what you do
so here’s what you do first you want to create the kind of
first you want to create the kind of
first you want to create the kind of space that’s welcoming to a caregiver
space that’s welcoming to a caregiver
space that’s welcoming to a caregiver now anything diet is really just going
now anything diet is really just going
now anything diet is really just going to be an inner critic lurking in the
to be an inner critic lurking in the
to be an inner critic lurking in the corner waiting to throw an insult at you
corner waiting to throw an insult at you
corner waiting to throw an insult at you so what you’re gonna do instead is grab
so what you’re gonna do instead is grab
so what you’re gonna do instead is grab a trash bag and just start throwing away
a trash bag and just start throwing away
a trash bag and just start throwing away and cleansing your life anything that
and cleansing your life anything that
and cleansing your life anything that reminds you of a diet that is pretty
reminds you of a diet that is pretty
reminds you of a diet that is pretty much the only detox I can get behind
much the only detox I can get behind
much the only detox I can get behind 100% then what you’re gonna do is listen
100% then what you’re gonna do is listen
100% then what you’re gonna do is listen for that caregiver voice and you might
for that caregiver voice and you might
for that caregiver voice and you might not hear it right away you might want to
not hear it right away you might want to
not hear it right away you might want to put a little positive kuo or family
put a little positive kuo or family
put a little positive kuo or family photo in places where critics lurk like
photo in places where critics lurk like
photo in places where critics lurk like a bathroom mirror or where you get
a bathroom mirror or where you get
a bathroom mirror or where you get dressed one of my clients actually had a
dressed one of my clients actually had a
dressed one of my clients actually had a bracelet engraved with wwr D or what
bracelet engraved with wwr D or what
bracelet engraved with wwr D or what would Rebecca do if she said I just
would Rebecca do if she said I just
would Rebecca do if she said I just don’t have a caregiver voice but if I
don’t have a caregiver voice but if I
don’t have a caregiver voice but if I think about you then I always know the
think about you then I always know the
think about you then I always know the right thing to do so whose voice could
right thing to do so whose voice could
right thing to do so whose voice could you cultivate next you’re gonna make
you cultivate next you’re gonna make
you cultivate next you’re gonna make choices that fit you best think about
choices that fit you best think about
choices that fit you best think about what brings you joy and do those things
what brings you joy and do those things
what brings you joy and do those things who cares what’s in the headlines don’t
who cares what’s in the headlines don’t
who cares what’s in the headlines don’t pay attention to what your friends are
pay attention to what your friends are
pay attention to what your friends are doing the more you focus on other people
doing the more you focus on other people
doing the more you focus on other people the less you’re going to be thinking
the less you’re going to be thinking
the less you’re going to be thinking about what matters to you
about what matters to you
about what matters to you now I know that’s not specific enough
now I know that’s not specific enough
now I know that’s not specific enough for most people and they really want to
for most people and they really want to
for most people and they really want to know if I’m not going to dye it what can
know if I’m not going to dye it what can
know if I’m not going to dye it what can I do to be healthy so I do have a few
I do to be healthy so I do have a few
I do to be healthy so I do have a few tips
tips
tips for that number one science says that if
for that number one science says that if
for that number one science says that if you want to live a long time it’s more
you want to live a long time it’s more
you want to live a long time it’s more important to move your body than lose
important to move your body than lose
important to move your body than lose weight so get some exercise if you smoke
weight so get some exercise if you smoke
weight so get some exercise if you smoke quit it is a good idea to know your lab
quit it is a good idea to know your lab
quit it is a good idea to know your lab values so go see a doctor get your blood
values so go see a doctor get your blood
values so go see a doctor get your blood pressure and your cholesterol but try to
pressure and your cholesterol but try to
pressure and your cholesterol but try to find someone who’s not gonna body shame
find someone who’s not gonna body shame
find someone who’s not gonna body shame you into a weight loss diet believe it
you into a weight loss diet believe it
you into a weight loss diet believe it or not loneliness is worse for you than
or not loneliness is worse for you than
or not loneliness is worse for you than a cupcake so make time in your life to
a cupcake so make time in your life to
a cupcake so make time in your life to go have fun and socialize with your
go have fun and socialize with your
go have fun and socialize with your friends and yes eat well balance out
friends and yes eat well balance out
friends and yes eat well balance out your plate with wholesome foods most of
your plate with wholesome foods most of
your plate with wholesome foods most of the time you don’t have to go to
the time you don’t have to go to
the time you don’t have to go to extremes and you don’t have to give up
extremes and you don’t have to give up
extremes and you don’t have to give up foods you love savor whatever is on your
foods you love savor whatever is on your
foods you love savor whatever is on your plate to maximize your enjoyment when
plate to maximize your enjoyment when
plate to maximize your enjoyment when you do these things your mood and energy
you do these things your mood and energy
you do these things your mood and energy spiral up and so does your well-being
spiral up and so does your well-being
spiral up and so does your well-being and then your weight is just your weight
and then your weight is just your weight
and then your weight is just your weight imagine if we all created our inner
imagine if we all created our inner
imagine if we all created our inner caregiver we’d all be stronger
caregiver we’d all be stronger
caregiver we’d all be stronger individuals building stronger
individuals building stronger
individuals building stronger communities and stronger families and we
communities and stronger families and we
communities and stronger families and we could use this power to create even
could use this power to create even
could use this power to create even bigger change because it is not enough
bigger change because it is not enough
bigger change because it is not enough to learn to survive and diet culture we
to learn to survive and diet culture we
to learn to survive and diet culture we need to dismantle it and that’s going to
need to dismantle it and that’s going to
need to dismantle it and that’s going to take some serious work for one economics
take some serious work for one economics
take some serious work for one economics there’s a 55 billion dollar diet and
there’s a 55 billion dollar diet and
there’s a 55 billion dollar diet and weight-loss industry that profits off
weight-loss industry that profits off
weight-loss industry that profits off our own insecurities we also need to
our own insecurities we also need to
our own insecurities we also need to fight weight stigma a person’s body size
fight weight stigma a person’s body size
fight weight stigma a person’s body size should be no reason to put them down
should be no reason to put them down
should be no reason to put them down ever and we need to represent size
ever and we need to represent size
ever and we need to represent size diversity everywhere we cannot love what
diversity everywhere we cannot love what
diversity everywhere we cannot love what we don’t see and we need to see more
we don’t see and we need to see more
we don’t see and we need to see more bodies in a positive light all shapes
bodies in a positive light all shapes
bodies in a positive light all shapes and sizes I sometimes wonder what if I
and sizes I sometimes wonder what if I
and sizes I sometimes wonder what if I had been taught that all bodies deserve
had been taught that all bodies deserve
had been taught that all bodies deserve respect that fat was not bad and you
respect that fat was not bad and you
respect that fat was not bad and you can’t tell anything about a person’s
can’t tell anything about a person’s
can’t tell anything about a person’s health by looking at them I can’t help
health by looking at them I can’t help
health by looking at them I can’t help but believe that I would have been half
but believe that I would have been half
but believe that I would have been half year I would have had less suffering and
year I would have had less suffering and
year I would have had less suffering and I would have caused less harm to my
I would have caused less harm to my
I would have caused less harm to my clients but I can’t get sad about the
clients but I can’t get sad about the
clients but I can’t get sad about the past because there’s nothing I can do to
past because there’s nothing I can do to
past because there’s nothing I can do to change it I just know I don’t get to
change it I just know I don’t get to
change it I just know I don’t get to repeat today and today I feel so much
repeat today and today I feel so much
repeat today and today I feel so much more free than the younger version of
more free than the younger version of
more free than the younger version of myself and while I’m truly grateful for
myself and while I’m truly grateful for
myself and while I’m truly grateful for healing my mind and body connection I
healing my mind and body connection I
healing my mind and body connection I know that I am not truly free because
know that I am not truly free because
know that I am not truly free because none of us can be free until we make
none of us can be free until we make
none of us can be free until we make space for all bodies to be free in the
space for all bodies to be free in the
space for all bodies to be free in the words of Desmond Tutu my humanity is
words of Desmond Tutu my humanity is
words of Desmond Tutu my humanity is found in yours for we can only be human
found in yours for we can only be human
found in yours for we can only be human together I imagine a world where we can
together I imagine a world where we can
together I imagine a world where we can all be buying peace and happiness in our
all be buying peace and happiness in our
all be buying peace and happiness in our current bodies and when it comes to
current bodies and when it comes to
current bodies and when it comes to health we pursue it with kindness my
health we pursue it with kindness my
health we pursue it with kindness my liberation from diet culture began the
liberation from diet culture began the
liberation from diet culture began the day my inner critic said to me you are
day my inner critic said to me you are
day my inner critic said to me you are too short too chunky and you do not look
too short too chunky and you do not look
too short too chunky and you do not look like the after picture who would ever
like the after picture who would ever
like the after picture who would ever trust your advice and I took a deep
trust your advice and I took a deep
trust your advice and I took a deep breath and said I love you thank you
breath and said I love you thank you
breath and said I love you thank you [Applause]
”
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