How not being denied my dream changed my life | Soumiya Ravi | TEDxYouth@BVChandigarh

[Music]

[Music] so it was started when I gathered the

so it was started when I gathered the

so it was started when I gathered the courage and I asked the boys in my

courage and I asked the boys in my

courage and I asked the boys in my neighborhood if I could play with him

neighborhood if I could play with him

neighborhood if I could play with him and we started playing games like

and we started playing games like

and we started playing games like identi and badminton and ice water

identi and badminton and ice water

identi and badminton and ice water you know the silly games that kids play

you know the silly games that kids play

you know the silly games that kids play on the streets with their neighbors say

on the streets with their neighbors say

on the streets with their neighbors say oh and then we finally moved on to

oh and then we finally moved on to

oh and then we finally moved on to football I I was not so thrilled about

football I I was not so thrilled about

football I I was not so thrilled about football I’m in fact I did not even like

football I’m in fact I did not even like

football I’m in fact I did not even like it back then I had no idea about the

it back then I had no idea about the

it back then I had no idea about the game and I basically got inducted into

game and I basically got inducted into

game and I basically got inducted into it by people they made me stand behind

it by people they made me stand behind

it by people they made me stand behind as the goalkeeper I didn’t give him it

as the goalkeeper I didn’t give him it

as the goalkeeper I didn’t give him it was the job nobody else wanted and they

was the job nobody else wanted and they

was the job nobody else wanted and they were like let’s just make the girl do it

were like let’s just make the girl do it

were like let’s just make the girl do it so for weeks I just stood back there and

so for weeks I just stood back there and

so for weeks I just stood back there and waited for the boy to come to me and

waited for the boy to come to me and

waited for the boy to come to me and there’s that they know that that’s funny

there’s that they know that that’s funny

there’s that they know that that’s funny lyrical standing behind was actually

lyrical standing behind was actually

lyrical standing behind was actually observing their every move I’m just

observing their every move I’m just

observing their every move I’m just absorbing all that was going on and I

absorbing all that was going on and I

absorbing all that was going on and I was actually getting to know the sport

was actually getting to know the sport

was actually getting to know the sport with a little bit anyway and it was some

with a little bit anyway and it was some

with a little bit anyway and it was some time before I got promoted from my

time before I got promoted from my

time before I got promoted from my goalkeeper position and actually got to

goalkeeper position and actually got to

goalkeeper position and actually got to play with them and with time I got

play with them and with time I got

play with them and with time I got better and then if I would do something

better and then if I would do something

better and then if I would do something even remotely like like if I would score

even remotely like like if I would score

even remotely like like if I would score a goal or beat somebody they’d be like

a goal or beat somebody they’d be like

a goal or beat somebody they’d be like how did you let a girl beat you and as

how did you let a girl beat you and as

how did you let a girl beat you and as easy as it was for that to cut my ego

easy as it was for that to cut my ego

easy as it was for that to cut my ego and to get me upset

and to get me upset

and to get me upset I just refused to let it I instead I use

I just refused to let it I instead I use

I just refused to let it I instead I use that as fuel to motivate me to do better

that as fuel to motivate me to do better

that as fuel to motivate me to do better and to prove to them that girls can do

and to prove to them that girls can do

and to prove to them that girls can do just as good if not better and I’m not

just as good if not better and I’m not

just as good if not better and I’m not saying that girls are better or boys are

saying that girls are better or boys are

saying that girls are better or boys are very enticing why should we let society

very enticing why should we let society

very enticing why should we let society limit us from achieving what we can and

limit us from achieving what we can and

limit us from achieving what we can and now I realized that I’d not actually

now I realized that I’d not actually

now I realized that I’d not actually have to

have to

have to fufu bunch of local boys are hey I am

fufu bunch of local boys are hey I am

fufu bunch of local boys are hey I am good as well but I was young back then

good as well but I was young back then

good as well but I was young back then and it was a fiercely determined younger

and it was a fiercely determined younger

and it was a fiercely determined younger than me who helped me achieve things

than me who helped me achieve things

than me who helped me achieve things that those boys at that time could not

that those boys at that time could not

that those boys at that time could not even have dreamt up

even have dreamt up

even have dreamt up surely it became more about the game and

surely it became more about the game and

surely it became more about the game and I fell in love with it and I found

I fell in love with it and I found

I fell in love with it and I found myself on the school football team and I

myself on the school football team and I

myself on the school football team and I should practice a video before my

should practice a video before my

should practice a video before my classes and then I got to play my first

classes and then I got to play my first

classes and then I got to play my first in the school and I unexpectedly won the

in the school and I unexpectedly won the

in the school and I unexpectedly won the best player award and I was thrilled and

best player award and I was thrilled and

best player award and I was thrilled and shocked and I was ecstatic and I that

shocked and I was ecstatic and I that

shocked and I was ecstatic and I that that was the moment when football became

that was the moment when football became

that was the moment when football became something real to me

something real to me

something real to me up until then it was just a mixture of

up until then it was just a mixture of

up until then it was just a mixture of you know wanting to do something and

you know wanting to do something and

you know wanting to do something and just to prove something but after that I

just to prove something but after that I

just to prove something but after that I actually started playing and I remember

actually started playing and I remember

actually started playing and I remember this conversation I was having with my

this conversation I was having with my

this conversation I was having with my best friend at the time who was also my

best friend at the time who was also my

best friend at the time who was also my teammate and I was saying can you

teammate and I was saying can you

teammate and I was saying can you believe it I actually won this and you

believe it I actually won this and you

believe it I actually won this and you know what did we both get selected for

know what did we both get selected for

know what did we both get selected for the term diggity I mean II play for turn

the term diggity I mean II play for turn

the term diggity I mean II play for turn digger and just AM and avoid that

digger and just AM and avoid that

digger and just AM and avoid that there’ll be scout who select players for

there’ll be scout who select players for

there’ll be scout who select players for the Indian camp I mean just imagine he

the Indian camp I mean just imagine he

the Indian camp I mean just imagine he could be selected when we play for the

could be selected when we play for the

could be selected when we play for the country like the Indian team and Sheila

country like the Indian team and Sheila

country like the Indian team and Sheila at my excitement and she will say Tanya

at my excitement and she will say Tanya

at my excitement and she will say Tanya come back come back and she brought me

come back come back and she brought me

come back come back and she brought me back to reality but it but I I believe

back to reality but it but I I believe

back to reality but it but I I believe that that was my poster it was it was my

that that was my poster it was it was my

that that was my poster it was it was my voice at that crazy impossible

voice at that crazy impossible

voice at that crazy impossible far-fetched thing that I was talking

far-fetched thing that I was talking

far-fetched thing that I was talking about and I mean for my first national

about and I mean for my first national

about and I mean for my first national and I came back and I had this picture

and I came back and I had this picture

and I came back and I had this picture in my mind I was in my picture I was

in my mind I was in my picture I was

in my mind I was in my picture I was pairing the Indian Jersey with my name

pairing the Indian Jersey with my name

pairing the Indian Jersey with my name and

and

and and I was walking with the rest of the

and I was walking with the rest of the

and I was walking with the rest of the Indian team in the airport and you are

Indian team in the airport and you are

Indian team in the airport and you are gawking enough and thinking charity and

gawking enough and thinking charity and

gawking enough and thinking charity and I could not get that picture out of my

I could not get that picture out of my

I could not get that picture out of my head and it just it was etched onto my

head and it just it was etched onto my

head and it just it was etched onto my brain and I so I wanted it was a

brain and I so I wanted it was a

brain and I so I wanted it was a beautiful dream

beautiful dream

beautiful dream so naturally I started dreaming and it

so naturally I started dreaming and it

so naturally I started dreaming and it was the three of us there was hope

was the three of us there was hope

was the three of us there was hope tyranny and me and the people so

tyranny and me and the people so

tyranny and me and the people so motivated and he trained really hard and

motivated and he trained really hard and

motivated and he trained really hard and they wanted to beat each other you know

they wanted to beat each other you know

they wanted to beat each other you know competitive stated that he had healthy

competitive stated that he had healthy

competitive stated that he had healthy competition and and then the second

competition and and then the second

competition and and then the second Nationals came and went and there were

Nationals came and went and there were

Nationals came and went and there were poor people chosen for the India Camp

poor people chosen for the India Camp

poor people chosen for the India Camp Hope was then

Hope was then

Hope was then Tiny’s name was it my name is not a myth

Tiny’s name was it my name is not a myth

Tiny’s name was it my name is not a myth is I felt cheated I was hurt and I was

is I felt cheated I was hurt and I was

is I felt cheated I was hurt and I was disappointed I worked just as hard as

disappointed I worked just as hard as

disappointed I worked just as hard as anybody else and I can take it deserve

anybody else and I can take it deserve

anybody else and I can take it deserve to be on that list but I felt that way

to be on that list but I felt that way

to be on that list but I felt that way for the entire journey back to turn it

for the entire journey back to turn it

for the entire journey back to turn it up to my Nationals and after ditching

up to my Nationals and after ditching

up to my Nationals and after ditching Senegal I went for practice the very

Senegal I went for practice the very

Senegal I went for practice the very next day and I told my coach I remember

next day and I told my coach I remember

next day and I told my coach I remember this conversation and I was a very

this conversation and I was a very

this conversation and I was a very emotional at the time I told on the

emotional at the time I told on the

emotional at the time I told on the third I’m going to Train even harder and

third I’m going to Train even harder and

third I’m going to Train even harder and I’m going to play for the Indian team

I’m going to play for the Indian team

I’m going to play for the Indian team and I knew I not got selected but but

and I knew I not got selected but but

and I knew I not got selected but but that picture in my mind it just burned

that picture in my mind it just burned

that picture in my mind it just burned in my brain and it refused to go and a

in my brain and it refused to go and a

in my brain and it refused to go and a tiny should pick me up for my practice

tiny should pick me up for my practice

tiny should pick me up for my practice every day

every day

every day I reached I usually under book point and

I reached I usually under book point and

I reached I usually under book point and she was waiting for me outside the car

she was waiting for me outside the car

she was waiting for me outside the car which was a unusual she’s to be inside

which was a unusual she’s to be inside

which was a unusual she’s to be inside and and I approached her and I had this

and and I approached her and I had this

and and I approached her and I had this questioning look on my street and I

questioning look on my street and I

questioning look on my street and I looked at her and she was positively

looked at her and she was positively

looked at her and she was positively beaming and she looked at me and she was

beaming and she looked at me and she was

beaming and she looked at me and she was a saamne you’re not going to believe it

a saamne you’re not going to believe it

a saamne you’re not going to believe it but I’m not kidding you got selected and

but I’m not kidding you got selected and

but I’m not kidding you got selected and your name came through today see you’re

your name came through today see you’re

your name came through today see you’re coming with it that was my personal

coming with it that was my personal

coming with it that was my personal experience with the part of dreaming and

experience with the part of dreaming and

experience with the part of dreaming and visualization so he goes in our society

visualization so he goes in our society

visualization so he goes in our society are brought up to be practical and

are brought up to be practical and

are brought up to be practical and realistic and I’m so glad that I’m so

realistic and I’m so glad that I’m so

realistic and I’m so glad that I’m so grateful that that was not how it was in

grateful that that was not how it was in

grateful that that was not how it was in my home my sister is a national

my home my sister is a national

my home my sister is a national basketball player and at a very young

basketball player and at a very young

basketball player and at a very young age my parents instilled in both of us

age my parents instilled in both of us

age my parents instilled in both of us the ability to so the ability to dream

the ability to so the ability to dream

the ability to so the ability to dream big and to have the courage to do so and

big and to have the courage to do so and

big and to have the courage to do so and people are always encouraged to follow

people are always encouraged to follow

people are always encouraged to follow our passion and they were told it’s okay

our passion and they were told it’s okay

our passion and they were told it’s okay to do more than one thing at a time you

to do more than one thing at a time you

to do more than one thing at a time you know studies and sports and music and

know studies and sports and music and

know studies and sports and music and dance we were – alright it’s that if you

dance we were – alright it’s that if you

dance we were – alright it’s that if you put your mind to it you can achieve

put your mind to it you can achieve

put your mind to it you can achieve anything as cliche as it might sound so

anything as cliche as it might sound so

anything as cliche as it might sound so my mom strict as she was and I’m so

my mom strict as she was and I’m so

my mom strict as she was and I’m so grateful for it

grateful for it

grateful for it she let us do whatever we want what

she let us do whatever we want what

she let us do whatever we want what maybe she let us participate in as many

maybe she let us participate in as many

maybe she let us participate in as many things as reborn as long as it was not

things as reborn as long as it was not

things as reborn as long as it was not as it was not at the cost of her

as it was not at the cost of her

as it was not at the cost of her academics and I I believe that I was

academics and I I believe that I was

academics and I I believe that I was able to do well in my studies only

able to do well in my studies only

able to do well in my studies only because of football because every time I

because of football because every time I

because of football because every time I played football I I would just be so

played football I I would just be so

played football I I would just be so happy and I would be energized mentally

happy and I would be energized mentally

happy and I would be energized mentally and I would I was able to put more

and I would I was able to put more

and I would I was able to put more effort into it and that way it made me

effort into it and that way it made me

effort into it and that way it made me more responsible because I was

more responsible because I was

more responsible because I was responsible for my own grades

responsible for my own grades

responsible for my own grades it made me accountable and it has me to

it made me accountable and it has me to

it made me accountable and it has me to Kate

Kate

Kate and discipline needed to succeed in life

and discipline needed to succeed in life

and discipline needed to succeed in life irrespective of the field I event for my

irrespective of the field I event for my

irrespective of the field I event for my first international tour no mental joy

first international tour no mental joy

first international tour no mental joy in its new era Saudi Arabia and I did

in its new era Saudi Arabia and I did

in its new era Saudi Arabia and I did not get to play there I was the youngest

not get to play there I was the youngest

not get to play there I was the youngest in the team and I start out on the bench

in the team and I start out on the bench

in the team and I start out on the bench I could not make it to the playing and I

I could not make it to the playing and I

I could not make it to the playing and I just watched my team from outside and

just watched my team from outside and

just watched my team from outside and when I came back I had a bigger dream it

when I came back I had a bigger dream it

when I came back I had a bigger dream it was more extra weekend and I wanted to

was more extra weekend and I wanted to

was more extra weekend and I wanted to be the captain of the Indian team and

be the captain of the Indian team and

be the captain of the Indian team and it’s on it crazy to me also and I didn’t

it’s on it crazy to me also and I didn’t

it’s on it crazy to me also and I didn’t want to tell it to anybody else but I

want to tell it to anybody else but I

want to tell it to anybody else but I wanted it so badly

wanted it so badly

wanted it so badly and I’ll tell you how badly my facebook

and I’ll tell you how badly my facebook

and I’ll tell you how badly my facebook password horse I am not kidding it was I

password horse I am not kidding it was I

password horse I am not kidding it was I am captain and and say you know I had to

am captain and and say you know I had to

am captain and and say you know I had to listen to me

listen to me

listen to me hi I became the captain of the Indian

hi I became the captain of the Indian

hi I became the captain of the Indian 420 I I always play the sport which was

420 I I always play the sport which was

420 I I always play the sport which was considered to be a tough nails point and

considered to be a tough nails point and

considered to be a tough nails point and being thoughtless of and being

being thoughtless of and being

being thoughtless of and being questioned and ping doubt it that was

questioned and ping doubt it that was

questioned and ping doubt it that was what made me work harder and I am so you

what made me work harder and I am so you

what made me work harder and I am so you know don’t let the people around you

know don’t let the people around you

know don’t let the people around you keep you from growing into the person

keep you from growing into the person

keep you from growing into the person you can become to let their negativity

you can become to let their negativity

you can become to let their negativity and their does good for you from even

and their does good for you from even

and their does good for you from even dreaming about achieving something

dreaming about achieving something

dreaming about achieving something extraordinary I’m so grateful to women

extraordinary I’m so grateful to women

extraordinary I’m so grateful to women like TVs and doing suction at it who who

like TVs and doing suction at it who who

like TVs and doing suction at it who who was so passionate and so strong about

was so passionate and so strong about

was so passionate and so strong about what what they wanted to achieve that

what what they wanted to achieve that

what what they wanted to achieve that they did not need societal norms of

they did not need societal norms of

they did not need societal norms of gender tie them down and in the face of

gender tie them down and in the face of

gender tie them down and in the face of all adversities they still managed to

all adversities they still managed to

all adversities they still managed to achieve what what they did and I’m

achieve what what they did and I’m

achieve what what they did and I’m unsure most people in this room were

unsure most people in this room were

unsure most people in this room were probably thinking for the most part of

probably thinking for the most part of

probably thinking for the most part of August that India with manpower of 1.2

August that India with manpower of 1.2

August that India with manpower of 1.2 billion people and how in are still able

billion people and how in are still able

billion people and how in are still able to make a mark in the Olympic community

to make a mark in the Olympic community

to make a mark in the Olympic community I mean forget about big nations in US

I mean forget about big nations in US

I mean forget about big nations in US and China beating us

and China beating us

and China beating us but even Great Britain beat us again I

but even Great Britain beat us again I

but even Great Britain beat us again I give you why because half the people in

give you why because half the people in

give you why because half the people in country don’t think that they’re mature

country don’t think that they’re mature

country don’t think that they’re mature enough and other half for violently I

enough and other half for violently I

enough and other half for violently I they are being told that there is

they are being told that there is

they are being told that there is nothing better than to be an engineer or

nothing better than to be an engineer or

nothing better than to be an engineer or a doctor and you know people kept

a doctor and you know people kept

a doctor and you know people kept telling me that you can’t play as well

telling me that you can’t play as well

telling me that you can’t play as well and even do and even perform better

and even do and even perform better

and even do and even perform better academically but that I got my socks off

academically but that I got my socks off

academically but that I got my socks off and I was actually able to do so and my

and I was actually able to do so and my

and I was actually able to do so and my cell phone discipline the support from

cell phone discipline the support from

cell phone discipline the support from my family and my ability to dream give

my family and my ability to dream give

my family and my ability to dream give me the edge I require I I always wanted

me the edge I require I I always wanted

me the edge I require I I always wanted to be a doctor I’m so after Templars

to be a doctor I’m so after Templars

to be a doctor I’m so after Templars naturally I took medical in Levin

naturally I took medical in Levin

naturally I took medical in Levin syndrome and people in who taken medical

syndrome and people in who taken medical

syndrome and people in who taken medical they probably knew that even after

they probably knew that even after

they probably knew that even after studying 24 hours energy it’s never

studying 24 hours energy it’s never

studying 24 hours energy it’s never enough and the competition is just crazy

enough and the competition is just crazy

enough and the competition is just crazy and I make it a fun part

and I make it a fun part

and I make it a fun part I train for my practice every day eleven

I train for my practice every day eleven

I train for my practice every day eleven foot towards a name is played national

foot towards a name is played national

foot towards a name is played national in class 12 and I’m going to be doing my

in class 12 and I’m going to be doing my

in class 12 and I’m going to be doing my immediate a great man once said that a

immediate a great man once said that a

immediate a great man once said that a man that the dream will not be denied

man that the dream will not be denied

man that the dream will not be denied the part of dreaming is not for men I

the part of dreaming is not for men I

the part of dreaming is not for men I have always wanted so many things so

have always wanted so many things so

have always wanted so many things so badly and I just visualized it and

badly and I just visualized it and

badly and I just visualized it and thought about it so many times so

thought about it so many times so

thought about it so many times so emotionally that I finally