I am flying I mean it’s like a dream I’m flying through the air through the gray
flying through the air through the gray
flying through the air through the gray dawn sky and ethnics gone into slow
dawn sky and ethnics gone into slow
dawn sky and ethnics gone into slow motion and I’m thinking oh god it’s me
motion and I’m thinking oh god it’s me
motion and I’m thinking oh god it’s me this is how I remember stepping on a
this is how I remember stepping on a
this is how I remember stepping on a bomb in Afghanistan six years ago it
bomb in Afghanistan six years ago it
bomb in Afghanistan six years ago it left me missing three limbs both legs
left me missing three limbs both legs
left me missing three limbs both legs above the knee and my right arm at the
above the knee and my right arm at the
above the knee and my right arm at the elbow but I was just happy to be alive
elbow but I was just happy to be alive
elbow but I was just happy to be alive so who did this to me then I don’t
so who did this to me then I don’t
so who did this to me then I don’t exactly know that this guy was probably
exactly know that this guy was probably
exactly know that this guy was probably involved Mike mid/side he was the local
involved Mike mid/side he was the local
involved Mike mid/side he was the local bomb supplier in our area of operations
bomb supplier in our area of operations
bomb supplier in our area of operations in Salem I’d met him I took this
in Salem I’d met him I took this
in Salem I’d met him I took this photograph but I never had sufficient
photograph but I never had sufficient
photograph but I never had sufficient evidence to arrest him there was also
evidence to arrest him there was also
evidence to arrest him there was also our underperforming commanding officer
our underperforming commanding officer
our underperforming commanding officer at the time of the incident I had
at the time of the incident I had
at the time of the incident I had already written my letter of resignation
already written my letter of resignation
already written my letter of resignation citing his total failure and leadership
citing his total failure and leadership
citing his total failure and leadership as my reason I’d intended to hand it to
as my reason I’d intended to hand it to
as my reason I’d intended to hand it to his boss but I never got the opportunity
his boss but I never got the opportunity
his boss but I never got the opportunity so these were the two men that I could
so these were the two men that I could
so these were the two men that I could blame and focus my anger towards what
blame and focus my anger towards what
blame and focus my anger towards what led me to that moment well it started
led me to that moment well it started
led me to that moment well it started with inspiration as a young teenager
with inspiration as a young teenager
with inspiration as a young teenager meeting a handful of raw Marines
meeting a handful of raw Marines
meeting a handful of raw Marines officers who were confident intelligent
officers who were confident intelligent
officers who were confident intelligent and adventurous always full of exciting
and adventurous always full of exciting
and adventurous always full of exciting stories and insightful views on the
stories and insightful views on the
stories and insightful views on the latest news this is what I aspired to be
latest news this is what I aspired to be
latest news this is what I aspired to be but inspiration turned to devastation
but inspiration turned to devastation
but inspiration turned to devastation when as a 17 year old I failed the
when as a 17 year old I failed the
when as a 17 year old I failed the selection process I took it as a
selection process I took it as a
selection process I took it as a personal insult they did not want me but
personal insult they did not want me but
personal insult they did not want me but as I recovered I realized there was
as I recovered I realized there was
as I recovered I realized there was nothing personal about it I had simply
nothing personal about it I had simply
nothing personal about it I had simply failed to make the grade so with
failed to make the grade so with
failed to make the grade so with determination I reapplied taking the
determination I reapplied taking the
determination I reapplied taking the opportunity to grow from my failure
opportunity to grow from my failure
opportunity to grow from my failure better preparing myself
better preparing myself
better preparing myself and succeeding the thing about this
and succeeding the thing about this
and succeeding the thing about this career path is that every time you
career path is that every time you
career path is that every time you succeed you just find yourself on an
succeed you just find yourself on an
succeed you just find yourself on an even more challenging journey success on
even more challenging journey success on
even more challenging journey success on applying men I then had to complete the
applying men I then had to complete the
applying men I then had to complete the 12-month rule Marines commando young
12-month rule Marines commando young
12-month rule Marines commando young officer training course the course is
officer training course the course is
officer training course the course is far more intense and 50 times longer
far more intense and 50 times longer
far more intense and 50 times longer than the entry assessments I was just 19
than the entry assessments I was just 19
than the entry assessments I was just 19 the majority of my peers were between 2
the majority of my peers were between 2
the majority of my peers were between 2 and 6 years older than me and this was
and 6 years older than me and this was
and 6 years older than me and this was the ultimate alpha male environment so
the ultimate alpha male environment so
the ultimate alpha male environment so it was no surprise that I struggled I
it was no surprise that I struggled I
it was no surprise that I struggled I seem to be constantly on the edge of
seem to be constantly on the edge of
seem to be constantly on the edge of failure any talent I thought I had in me
failure any talent I thought I had in me
failure any talent I thought I had in me just seemed to disappear but I did have
just seemed to disappear but I did have
just seemed to disappear but I did have determination and that just proved
determination and that just proved
determination and that just proved enough I found some talent and I grew
enough I found some talent and I grew
enough I found some talent and I grew but my regular struggles ensured that
but my regular struggles ensured that
but my regular struggles ensured that that talent grew steadily and my core
that talent grew steadily and my core
that talent grew steadily and my core spirit grew strong my performance
spirit grew strong my performance
spirit grew strong my performance reviews improved and I completed tougher
reviews improved and I completed tougher
reviews improved and I completed tougher courses the great thing about my
courses the great thing about my
courses the great thing about my struggles were that they kept me humble
struggles were that they kept me humble
struggles were that they kept me humble and this really helped me as a leader
and this really helped me as a leader
and this really helped me as a leader you see I was just 20 years old and in
you see I was just 20 years old and in
you see I was just 20 years old and in command of 30 Royal Marines between the
command of 30 Royal Marines between the
command of 30 Royal Marines between the ages of 17 and 37 they were all
ages of 17 and 37 they were all
ages of 17 and 37 they were all specialist drivers and I was responsible
specialist drivers and I was responsible
specialist drivers and I was responsible for the 18 vehicles they drove to I did
for the 18 vehicles they drove to I did
for the 18 vehicles they drove to I did not have a clue what I was doing and I
not have a clue what I was doing and I
not have a clue what I was doing and I knew there was no way of fooling them
knew there was no way of fooling them
knew there was no way of fooling them into thinking that I did my solution was
into thinking that I did my solution was
into thinking that I did my solution was simple though I admitted to them that I
simple though I admitted to them that I
simple though I admitted to them that I was clueless but showed them I was
was clueless but showed them I was
was clueless but showed them I was willing to learn I would ask anyone for
willing to learn I would ask anyone for
willing to learn I would ask anyone for advice mainly letting my most
advice mainly letting my most
advice mainly letting my most experienced colleagues lead my judgments
experienced colleagues lead my judgments
experienced colleagues lead my judgments though what I discovered was that people
though what I discovered was that people
though what I discovered was that people work far harder to execute a plan when
work far harder to execute a plan when
work far harder to execute a plan when they are directly involved in the
they are directly involved in the
they are directly involved in the planning and that success is best when
planning and that success is best when
planning and that success is best when shared we all benefited equally one of
shared we all benefited equally one of
shared we all benefited equally one of those men came to visit me when I was in
those men came to visit me when I was in
those men came to visit me when I was in hospital last year after 12 years of not
hospital last year after 12 years of not
hospital last year after 12 years of not working with me he decided to look me
working with me he decided to look me
working with me he decided to look me and go out of his way just to say hello
and go out of his way just to say hello
and go out of his way just to say hello I felt honored but more so I felt pride
I felt honored but more so I felt pride
I felt honored but more so I felt pride when hearing his story how after leaving
when hearing his story how after leaving
when hearing his story how after leaving the Marines he had had to resort to
the Marines he had had to resort to
the Marines he had had to resort to sweeping a warehouse floor for work but
sweeping a warehouse floor for work but
sweeping a warehouse floor for work but within that small family-run business he
within that small family-run business he
within that small family-run business he took every little opportunity and within
took every little opportunity and within
took every little opportunity and within five years had made it to the highest
five years had made it to the highest
five years had made it to the highest possible level for a non family member
possible level for a non family member
possible level for a non family member and from there was able to successfully
and from there was able to successfully
and from there was able to successfully apply for a role as a Sales Director in
apply for a role as a Sales Director in
apply for a role as a Sales Director in a different business he’s doing really
a different business he’s doing really
a different business he’s doing really well now through humility and
well now through humility and
well now through humility and determination so what do you need when
determination so what do you need when
determination so what do you need when you’re lying on the desert floor missing
you’re lying on the desert floor missing
you’re lying on the desert floor missing three limbs the first thing you need is
three limbs the first thing you need is
three limbs the first thing you need is faith not in a higher being
faith not in a higher being
faith not in a higher being but in yourself and in the human beings
but in yourself and in the human beings
but in yourself and in the human beings around you those beings are far higher
around you those beings are far higher
around you those beings are far higher than we typically give them credit for
than we typically give them credit for
than we typically give them credit for be under no illusion I should have died
be under no illusion I should have died
be under no illusion I should have died that day my job was simple at the time I
that day my job was simple at the time I
that day my job was simple at the time I just had to hold on their job though
just had to hold on their job though
just had to hold on their job though that was a different question and
that was a different question and
that was a different question and miracle was asked of them and a miracle
miracle was asked of them and a miracle
miracle was asked of them and a miracle they delivered this episode truly
they delivered this episode truly
they delivered this episode truly confirmed what I’ve always suspected
confirmed what I’ve always suspected
confirmed what I’ve always suspected that we massively underestimate humans
that we massively underestimate humans
that we massively underestimate humans in the human body my body allowed me to
in the human body my body allowed me to
in the human body my body allowed me to stay alert even make jokes at least for
stay alert even make jokes at least for
stay alert even make jokes at least for the first 30 minutes after the explosion
the first 30 minutes after the explosion
the first 30 minutes after the explosion although I have to say after 40 minutes
although I have to say after 40 minutes
although I have to say after 40 minutes when they loaded me onto the evacuation
when they loaded me onto the evacuation
when they loaded me onto the evacuation helicopter I was crying
helicopter I was crying
helicopter I was crying literally begging to be put to sleep I
felt when I woke up to day three days
felt when I woke up to day three days later back in the UK that I only had two
later back in the UK that I only had two
later back in the UK that I only had two choices
choices
choices I could either roll over and die or I
I could either roll over and die or I
I could either roll over and die or I could get up and get on with life so
could get up and get on with life so
could get up and get on with life so with the help and my girlfriend my
with the help and my girlfriend my
with the help and my girlfriend my family and my friends that’s exactly
family and my friends that’s exactly
family and my friends that’s exactly what I decided to do I was discharged
what I decided to do I was discharged
what I decided to do I was discharged from hospital after just 27 nights
from hospital after just 27 nights
from hospital after just 27 nights nine weeks post-injury I was wearing
nine weeks post-injury I was wearing
nine weeks post-injury I was wearing basic prosthetics by nine months I was
basic prosthetics by nine months I was
basic prosthetics by nine months I was becoming proficient on prosthetic legs
becoming proficient on prosthetic legs
becoming proficient on prosthetic legs similar to the ones you see me wearing
similar to the ones you see me wearing
similar to the ones you see me wearing today and twelve months and three days
today and twelve months and three days
today and twelve months and three days after the explosion I stopped using a
after the explosion I stopped using a
after the explosion I stopped using a wheelchair I had goals all the way just
wheelchair I had goals all the way just
wheelchair I had goals all the way just little ones that I could reach but by
little ones that I could reach but by
little ones that I could reach but by that stage I needed something bigger to
that stage I needed something bigger to
that stage I needed something bigger to set my sights on I came up with two
set my sights on I came up with two
set my sights on I came up with two ideas firstly to complete the devices to
ideas firstly to complete the devices to
ideas firstly to complete the devices to westminster quiet grace a bucket-list
westminster quiet grace a bucket-list
westminster quiet grace a bucket-list event that I had never got around to
event that I had never got around to
event that I had never got around to doing and secondly to build my own home
doing and secondly to build my own home
doing and secondly to build my own home both felt like big targets the kayak
both felt like big targets the kayak
both felt like big targets the kayak race is 200 kilometers long and to be
race is 200 kilometers long and to be
race is 200 kilometers long and to be done in one go over Easter weekend I
done in one go over Easter weekend I
done in one go over Easter weekend I only have one arm intact and I’d already
only have one arm intact and I’d already
only have one arm intact and I’d already had a shoulder reconstruction on that
had a shoulder reconstruction on that
had a shoulder reconstruction on that and Becks who was now my wife and
and Becks who was now my wife and
and Becks who was now my wife and planned to partner me in the race had
planned to partner me in the race had
planned to partner me in the race had never even cried before so the race felt
never even cried before so the race felt
never even cried before so the race felt stupidly challenging perfect the house
stupidly challenging perfect the house
stupidly challenging perfect the house well I simply had no experience of
well I simply had no experience of
well I simply had no experience of building I just didn’t know where to
building I just didn’t know where to
building I just didn’t know where to start training for the race was
start training for the race was
start training for the race was disturbed happily bets fell pregnant so
disturbed happily bets fell pregnant so
disturbed happily bets fell pregnant so a good friend and colleague Leigh waters
a good friend and colleague Leigh waters
a good friend and colleague Leigh waters jumped in the boat with me with just six
jumped in the boat with me with just six
jumped in the boat with me with just six weeks to go and we turned up on the race
weeks to go and we turned up on the race
weeks to go and we turned up on the race start line having only completed a
start line having only completed a
start line having only completed a hundred and ninety kilometers total
hundred and ninety kilometers total
hundred and ninety kilometers total training together
training together
training together remember the races 200 kilometers long
remember the races 200 kilometers long
remember the races 200 kilometers long but we just went for it with a big
but we just went for it with a big
but we just went for it with a big support crew and the day went well after
support crew and the day went well after
support crew and the day went well after 12 hours we were on target but as the
12 hours we were on target but as the
12 hours we were on target but as the evening drew in our pace slowed
evening drew in our pace slowed
evening drew in our pace slowed drastically and by midnight we were
drastically and by midnight we were
drastically and by midnight we were informed there was no way we could meet
informed there was no way we could meet
informed there was no way we could meet our 8:00 a.m. cutoff for a critical
our 8:00 a.m. cutoff for a critical
our 8:00 a.m. cutoff for a critical checkpoint anger set in and we ignored
checkpoint anger set in and we ignored
checkpoint anger set in and we ignored everyone for the next eight hours we
everyone for the next eight hours we
everyone for the next eight hours we increased our pace from six kilometers
increased our pace from six kilometers
increased our pace from six kilometers an hour to nine kilometers an hour and
an hour to nine kilometers an hour and
an hour to nine kilometers an hour and we scraped in we finished the race in
we scraped in we finished the race in
we scraped in we finished the race in twenty eight and a half hours achieving
twenty eight and a half hours achieving
twenty eight and a half hours achieving the impossible dream we did so by
the impossible dream we did so by
the impossible dream we did so by applying the three rules of kayaking
applying the three rules of kayaking
applying the three rules of kayaking rule one keep paddling Rule two
rule one keep paddling Rule two
rule one keep paddling Rule two you keep cool and rule three
you keep cool and rule three
you keep cool and rule three happens when it does refer to rule
happens when it does refer to rule
happens when it does refer to rule 1
ladies and gentlemen those rules have
ladies and gentlemen those rules have not just got me through that kayaking
not just got me through that kayaking
not just got me through that kayaking race they’ve got me through my life this
race they’ve got me through my life this
race they’ve got me through my life this far I simply changed the word paddling
far I simply changed the word paddling
far I simply changed the word paddling for going keep going keep cool and
for going keep going keep cool and
for going keep going keep cool and happens when it does keep going the
happens when it does keep going the
happens when it does keep going the house was a very different challenge the
house was a very different challenge the
house was a very different challenge the aim was clear build a house that I and
aim was clear build a house that I and
aim was clear build a house that I and my now growing family could live in for
my now growing family could live in for
my now growing family could live in for the rest of my life we had the money we
the rest of my life we had the money we
the rest of my life we had the money we had the budget we found a plot of land
had the budget we found a plot of land
had the budget we found a plot of land and with my oldest friend who was
and with my oldest friend who was
and with my oldest friend who was training to be an architect we designed
training to be an architect we designed
training to be an architect we designed the house over to me to deliver the
the house over to me to deliver the
the house over to me to deliver the project then as I’ve already said I had
project then as I’ve already said I had
project then as I’ve already said I had absolutely no idea what I was doing
absolutely no idea what I was doing
absolutely no idea what I was doing whatsoever luckily I found some support
whatsoever luckily I found some support
whatsoever luckily I found some support from a couple of big and generous
from a couple of big and generous
from a couple of big and generous companies but it was still tough quite
companies but it was still tough quite
companies but it was still tough quite simply the most sustained period of
simply the most sustained period of
simply the most sustained period of stress ever in my life the budget
stress ever in my life the budget
stress ever in my life the budget spiraled the completion date slipped and
spiraled the completion date slipped and
spiraled the completion date slipped and the result was beyond my dreams not just
the result was beyond my dreams not just
the result was beyond my dreams not just in terms of the physical result of the
in terms of the physical result of the
in terms of the physical result of the house yes it is lovely but in terms of
house yes it is lovely but in terms of
house yes it is lovely but in terms of the confidence the project gave me it
the confidence the project gave me it
the confidence the project gave me it made me realize there was more to me
made me realize there was more to me
made me realize there was more to me than just being able to keep going
than just being able to keep going
than just being able to keep going through difficult physical challenges or
through difficult physical challenges or
through difficult physical challenges or coordinate military maneuvers you see
coordinate military maneuvers you see
coordinate military maneuvers you see I’d actually thought about leaving the
I’d actually thought about leaving the
I’d actually thought about leaving the Marines before my final tour but I
Marines before my final tour but I
Marines before my final tour but I didn’t think I had the necessary skills
didn’t think I had the necessary skills
didn’t think I had the necessary skills or education to do it to make it in the
or education to do it to make it in the
or education to do it to make it in the civilian world I was too afraid fear had
civilian world I was too afraid fear had
civilian world I was too afraid fear had kept me in this dangerous job on leaving
kept me in this dangerous job on leaving
kept me in this dangerous job on leaving the Marines a friend of mine invited me
the Marines a friend of mine invited me
the Marines a friend of mine invited me to do some leadership consulting and I
to do some leadership consulting and I
to do some leadership consulting and I found a new passion leadership was the
found a new passion leadership was the
found a new passion leadership was the part of my job in the Marines that I got
part of my job in the Marines that I got
part of my job in the Marines that I got the greatest satisfaction from and for
the greatest satisfaction from and for
the greatest satisfaction from and for me it wasn’t about being a skillful
me it wasn’t about being a skillful
me it wasn’t about being a skillful communicator or a clever manager it was
communicator or a clever manager it was
communicator or a clever manager it was simply about caring for my teams and
simply about caring for my teams and
simply about caring for my teams and enjoy watching them succeed just doing
enjoy watching them succeed just doing
enjoy watching them succeed just doing my bit to help them along my passion for
my bit to help them along my passion for
my bit to help them along my passion for this work was also fueled by the anger I
this work was also fueled by the anger I
this work was also fueled by the anger I mentioned earlier
mentioned earlier
mentioned earlier at my former commanding officer who in
at my former commanding officer who in
at my former commanding officer who in my eyes had missed this basic point
my eyes had missed this basic point
my eyes had missed this basic point about leadership so I set out on a
about leadership so I set out on a
about leadership so I set out on a journey to inspire a better leadership
journey to inspire a better leadership
journey to inspire a better leadership my concept is simple care about your
my concept is simple care about your
my concept is simple care about your people and dedicate your performance to
people and dedicate your performance to
people and dedicate your performance to helping them but Who am I to judge this
helping them but Who am I to judge this
helping them but Who am I to judge this I’m just John White no one’s ever heard
I’m just John White no one’s ever heard
I’m just John White no one’s ever heard of me so I decided to write a book as a
of me so I decided to write a book as a
of me so I decided to write a book as a research project it’s not complete yet
research project it’s not complete yet
research project it’s not complete yet by being lucky enough to interview five
by being lucky enough to interview five
by being lucky enough to interview five great leaders including Kofi Annan two
great leaders including Kofi Annan two
great leaders including Kofi Annan two four-star generals and two successful
four-star generals and two successful
four-star generals and two successful business leaders I’m still looking for
business leaders I’m still looking for
business leaders I’m still looking for seven more people to interview by the
seven more people to interview by the
seven more people to interview by the way my aim is simple I want to interview
way my aim is simple I want to interview
way my aim is simple I want to interview a wide range of leaders and just show
a wide range of leaders and just show
a wide range of leaders and just show regular people what is possible the
regular people what is possible the
regular people what is possible the first theme to come out of the interview
first theme to come out of the interview
first theme to come out of the interview so far it’s just how human all of these
so far it’s just how human all of these
so far it’s just how human all of these leaders are they all have and continue
leaders are they all have and continue
leaders are they all have and continue to make mistakes
to make mistakes
to make mistakes whether it be in career planning or the
whether it be in career planning or the
whether it be in career planning or the execution of their roles they are human
execution of their roles they are human
execution of their roles they are human they do learn from their mistakes though
they do learn from their mistakes though
they do learn from their mistakes though the second common theme I want to share
the second common theme I want to share
the second common theme I want to share with you is their sense of
with you is their sense of
with you is their sense of responsibility all of them have had a
responsibility all of them have had a
responsibility all of them have had a shift in motivation over the course of
shift in motivation over the course of
shift in motivation over the course of their careers whether this be an
their careers whether this be an
their careers whether this be an epiphany at a specific point or an
epiphany at a specific point or an
epiphany at a specific point or an evolution all of their motivations have
evolution all of their motivations have
evolution all of their motivations have shifted from themselves to the people
shifted from themselves to the people
shifted from themselves to the people they work for be it the organization or
they work for be it the organization or
they work for be it the organization or the customers or both in Kofi Annan’s
the customers or both in Kofi Annan’s
the customers or both in Kofi Annan’s case his customers are the world’s
case his customers are the world’s
case his customers are the world’s population so he quite literally feels
population so he quite literally feels
population so he quite literally feels the way to the world on his shoulders
the way to the world on his shoulders
the way to the world on his shoulders and that is why now in his 70s he’s
and that is why now in his 70s he’s
and that is why now in his 70s he’s still working hard to make the world a
still working hard to make the world a
still working hard to make the world a better place the final common theme I
better place the final common theme I
better place the final common theme I want to share with you from the
want to share with you from the
want to share with you from the interview so far it’s that optimistic
interview so far it’s that optimistic
interview so far it’s that optimistic and forgiving nature all of them are
and forgiving nature all of them are
and forgiving nature all of them are noted for their lack of anger most of
noted for their lack of anger most of
noted for their lack of anger most of them have been criticized at times for
them have been criticized at times for
them have been criticized at times for not sacking people early enough and this
not sacking people early enough and this
not sacking people early enough and this is all down to their power for
is all down to their power for
is all down to their power for forgiveness I’m going to
forgiveness I’m going to
forgiveness I’m going to Admiral Sir George lamb boluses
Admiral Sir George lamb boluses
Admiral Sir George lamb boluses definition for leadership here
definition for leadership here
definition for leadership here he calls it transferred belief the
he calls it transferred belief the
he calls it transferred belief the belief that I want to transfer to you
belief that I want to transfer to you
belief that I want to transfer to you today is the power of forgiveness I told
today is the power of forgiveness I told
today is the power of forgiveness I told you how I use my anger at two men to
you how I use my anger at two men to
you how I use my anger at two men to fuel my drive initially and whilst I got
fuel my drive initially and whilst I got
fuel my drive initially and whilst I got a lot done very quickly using this the
a lot done very quickly using this the
a lot done very quickly using this the issue was that that anger was also
issue was that that anger was also
issue was that that anger was also slowly eating away at me
slowly eating away at me
slowly eating away at me it was using energy that I needed in
it was using energy that I needed in
it was using energy that I needed in other parts of my life
other parts of my life
other parts of my life it was stopping me from thinking freely
it was stopping me from thinking freely
it was stopping me from thinking freely and creatively and my life just got to a
and creatively and my life just got to a
and creatively and my life just got to a point where it didn’t make sense to be
point where it didn’t make sense to be
point where it didn’t make sense to be angry at them anymore being angry at
angry at them anymore being angry at
angry at them anymore being angry at them suggested I wanted my life to be
them suggested I wanted my life to be
them suggested I wanted my life to be different that I didn’t want my wife my
different that I didn’t want my wife my
different that I didn’t want my wife my house my children or my newfound passion
house my children or my newfound passion
house my children or my newfound passion for my work so I realized I had to
for my work so I realized I had to
for my work so I realized I had to forgive them and I can tell you now that
forgive them and I can tell you now that
forgive them and I can tell you now that I hold no resentment against those two
I hold no resentment against those two
I hold no resentment against those two men whatsoever in fact I am actually
men whatsoever in fact I am actually
men whatsoever in fact I am actually grateful for what they have done for me
grateful for what they have done for me
grateful for what they have done for me I recently had a further revelation
I recently had a further revelation
I recently had a further revelation though whilst helping a friend with a
though whilst helping a friend with a
though whilst helping a friend with a personal issue she wanted to talk to an
personal issue she wanted to talk to an
personal issue she wanted to talk to an ex-partner because she felt she had
ex-partner because she felt she had
ex-partner because she felt she had unfinished business in her mind as we
unfinished business in her mind as we
unfinished business in her mind as we explored what she wanted to achieve by
explored what she wanted to achieve by
explored what she wanted to achieve by talking to him forgiveness came up she
talking to him forgiveness came up she
talking to him forgiveness came up she wanted to forgive him I pointed out that
wanted to forgive him I pointed out that
wanted to forgive him I pointed out that if he had not taken responsibility for
if he had not taken responsibility for
if he had not taken responsibility for what had happened then forgiving him
what had happened then forgiving him
what had happened then forgiving him would simply be taken as an accusation
would simply be taken as an accusation
would simply be taken as an accusation and as we explored further we realized
and as we explored further we realized
and as we explored further we realized she actually needed to forgive herself a
she actually needed to forgive herself a
she actually needed to forgive herself a tear came to my eye at that moment
tear came to my eye at that moment
tear came to my eye at that moment because the concept resonated with me I
because the concept resonated with me I
because the concept resonated with me I was still partly anchored by my own past
was still partly anchored by my own past
was still partly anchored by my own past as much as forgiving these men felt good
as much as forgiving these men felt good
as much as forgiving these men felt good and it was good it did release me a
and it was good it did release me a
and it was good it did release me a great deal it was not wholly healing I
great deal it was not wholly healing I
great deal it was not wholly healing I was still kind of using them as
was still kind of using them as
was still kind of using them as distractions and excuses
to sleep at night it is only our own
to sleep at night it is only our own conscience that must be clear no one
conscience that must be clear no one
conscience that must be clear no one else is and this was the moment when I
else is and this was the moment when I
else is and this was the moment when I realized that I had to take
realized that I had to take
realized that I had to take responsibility for my past I had to
responsibility for my past I had to
responsibility for my past I had to forgive myself and thank myself in order
forgive myself and thank myself in order
forgive myself and thank myself in order to be happy with myself
to be happy with myself
to be happy with myself and live a life that feels meaningful to
and live a life that feels meaningful to
and live a life that feels meaningful to me Maude Smith
me Maude Smith
me Maude Smith [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Applause] you
”
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