thank you everybody and thank you for having here it’s this is such an honor
having here it’s this is such an honor
having here it’s this is such an honor to be a part of this powerful amazing
to be a part of this powerful amazing
to be a part of this powerful amazing event and community I’m going to talk
event and community I’m going to talk
event and community I’m going to talk today about whiteness and sometimes
today about whiteness and sometimes
today about whiteness and sometimes that’s not usually the first thing I say
that’s not usually the first thing I say
that’s not usually the first thing I say to people when I meet them that I want
to people when I meet them that I want
to people when I meet them that I want to talk about whiteness it can be kind
to talk about whiteness it can be kind
to talk about whiteness it can be kind of an awkward beginning whiteness is
of an awkward beginning whiteness is
of an awkward beginning whiteness is something we often don’t talk about in
something we often don’t talk about in
something we often don’t talk about in our society explicitly and especially
our society explicitly and especially
our society explicitly and especially for white people it can tend to be this
for white people it can tend to be this
for white people it can tend to be this concept that is unnamed or invisible and
concept that is unnamed or invisible and
concept that is unnamed or invisible and so it can be awkward to talk about it
so it can be awkward to talk about it
so it can be awkward to talk about it but I talk about whiteness it’s part of
but I talk about whiteness it’s part of
but I talk about whiteness it’s part of my work I talk about it for two reasons
my work I talk about it for two reasons
my work I talk about it for two reasons one is that for a long time I would show
one is that for a long time I would show
one is that for a long time I would show up to conversations on race and racism
up to conversations on race and racism
up to conversations on race and racism and I would listen intently and I would
and I would listen intently and I would
and I would listen intently and I would nod sympathetically to the stories of
nod sympathetically to the stories of
nod sympathetically to the stories of people of color and I felt like I
people of color and I felt like I
people of color and I felt like I actually don’t have anything to offer
actually don’t have anything to offer
actually don’t have anything to offer here except to listen because I didn’t
here except to listen because I didn’t
here except to listen because I didn’t think that I had a racial story I didn’t
think that I had a racial story I didn’t
think that I had a racial story I didn’t see how racism impacts me the second
see how racism impacts me the second
see how racism impacts me the second reason that I want to talk about
reason that I want to talk about
reason that I want to talk about whiteness is that I am in the field of
whiteness is that I am in the field of
whiteness is that I am in the field of education and in education when we say
education and in education when we say
education and in education when we say we’re going to talk about race and
we’re going to talk about race and
we’re going to talk about race and education we end up scrutinizing the
education we end up scrutinizing the
education we end up scrutinizing the outcomes of children and families of
outcomes of children and families of
outcomes of children and families of color and we don’t talk about the fact
color and we don’t talk about the fact
color and we don’t talk about the fact that 85 percent of the teachers in our
that 85 percent of the teachers in our
that 85 percent of the teachers in our country are white most of our
country are white most of our
country are white most of our administrators in the country are white
administrators in the country are white
administrators in the country are white most of our teacher educators like me
most of our teacher educators like me
most of our teacher educators like me are white most of our policymakers are
are white most of our policymakers are
are white most of our policymakers are white most of our curriculum writers and
white most of our curriculum writers and
white most of our curriculum writers and textbook writers are white so if we want
textbook writers are white so if we want
textbook writers are white so if we want to talk about race and education and
to talk about race and education and
to talk about race and education and we’re not talking about whiteness then
we’re not talking about whiteness then
we’re not talking about whiteness then we don’t have the whole picture so I
we don’t have the whole picture so I
we don’t have the whole picture so I didn’t always talk like this I grew up
didn’t always talk like this I grew up
didn’t always talk like this I grew up in a community called Mount Lebanon that
in a community called Mount Lebanon that
in a community called Mount Lebanon that was 99.8% white it was a town a suburb
was 99.8% white it was a town a suburb
was 99.8% white it was a town a suburb of Pittsburgh Pennsylvania
of Pittsburgh Pennsylvania
of Pittsburgh Pennsylvania and in my family and in my community we
and in my family and in my community we
and in my family and in my community we didn’t talk about race we were raised to
didn’t talk about race we were raised to
didn’t talk about race we were raised to be colorblind and my parents are pretty
be colorblind and my parents are pretty
be colorblind and my parents are pretty phenomenal people they have said that I
phenomenal people they have said that I
phenomenal people they have said that I can say
can say
can say anything that I want about our family in
anything that I want about our family in
anything that I want about our family in the way they raise me if it means it’s
the way they raise me if it means it’s
the way they raise me if it means it’s going to help people learn which is very
going to help people learn which is very
going to help people learn which is very a very powerful permission they’ve given
a very powerful permission they’ve given
a very powerful permission they’ve given me and my parents did wonderful things
me and my parents did wonderful things
me and my parents did wonderful things for us we each of the kids in my family
for us we each of the kids in my family
for us we each of the kids in my family studied abroad we learned different
studied abroad we learned different
studied abroad we learned different languages we also had foreign exchange
languages we also had foreign exchange
languages we also had foreign exchange students live with us throughout the
students live with us throughout the
students live with us throughout the years we talked about multiculturalism
years we talked about multiculturalism
years we talked about multiculturalism and we were taught to value the content
and we were taught to value the content
and we were taught to value the content of a person’s character not the color of
of a person’s character not the color of
of a person’s character not the color of their skin and we never talked about
their skin and we never talked about
their skin and we never talked about that one difference which is racial we
that one difference which is racial we
that one difference which is racial we never talked about racism and so
never talked about racism and so
never talked about racism and so emphasizing a colorblind ideology meant
emphasizing a colorblind ideology meant
emphasizing a colorblind ideology meant we couldn’t talk about racism and if you
we couldn’t talk about racism and if you
we couldn’t talk about racism and if you had asked me Ali did you grow up in a
had asked me Ali did you grow up in a
had asked me Ali did you grow up in a segregated community I would say no we
segregated community I would say no we
segregated community I would say no we had 20 families of color and they lived
had 20 families of color and they lived
had 20 families of color and they lived among us and we were all friends
among us and we were all friends
among us and we were all friends it wasn’t segregated but what I couldn’t
it wasn’t segregated but what I couldn’t
it wasn’t segregated but what I couldn’t see at that time was that I couldn’t
see at that time was that I couldn’t
see at that time was that I couldn’t zoom out and see that I lived in a
zoom out and see that I lived in a
zoom out and see that I lived in a community that was almost a hundred
community that was almost a hundred
community that was almost a hundred percent white and we lived ten miles
percent white and we lived ten miles
percent white and we lived ten miles from the hill in Pittsburgh where all of
from the hill in Pittsburgh where all of
from the hill in Pittsburgh where all of August Wilson’s plays take place there
August Wilson’s plays take place there
August Wilson’s plays take place there was almost a hundred percent black and
was almost a hundred percent black and
was almost a hundred percent black and we didn’t mix we didn’t talk to each
we didn’t mix we didn’t talk to each
we didn’t mix we didn’t talk to each other we didn’t play each other in
other we didn’t play each other in
other we didn’t play each other in sports we didn’t drink from the same
sports we didn’t drink from the same
sports we didn’t drink from the same proverbial water fountain and so we were
proverbial water fountain and so we were
proverbial water fountain and so we were segregated but I couldn’t see that so I
segregated but I couldn’t see that so I
segregated but I couldn’t see that so I went to college with this colorblind
went to college with this colorblind
went to college with this colorblind lens this sense that race really doesn’t
lens this sense that race really doesn’t
lens this sense that race really doesn’t matter that what my whiteness has never
matter that what my whiteness has never
matter that what my whiteness has never impacted my life and I was required to
impacted my life and I was required to
impacted my life and I was required to take a course on diversity and I’m a big
take a course on diversity and I’m a big
take a course on diversity and I’m a big fan of diversity requirements because I
fan of diversity requirements because I
fan of diversity requirements because I would not have taken this course if it
would not have taken this course if it
would not have taken this course if it hadn’t been required not because I
hadn’t been required not because I
hadn’t been required not because I didn’t think it was important not
didn’t think it was important not
didn’t think it was important not because I wasn’t interested but because
because I wasn’t interested but because
because I wasn’t interested but because I didn’t feel like I belonged there it
I didn’t feel like I belonged there it
I didn’t feel like I belonged there it was the first time I ever had a black
was the first time I ever had a black
was the first time I ever had a black professor it was the first time I ever
professor it was the first time I ever
professor it was the first time I ever had black classmates it was African
had black classmates it was African
had black classmates it was African American literature and I spent the
American literature and I spent the
American literature and I spent the whole first part of the semester being
whole first part of the semester being
whole first part of the semester being totally intimidated by the content I had
totally intimidated by the content I had
totally intimidated by the content I had to say words that I had never said out
to say words that I had never said out
to say words that I had never said out loud before like white
loud before like white
loud before like white and black and racism and I could feel my
and black and racism and I could feel my
and black and racism and I could feel my tongue swelling in my mouth I would trip
tongue swelling in my mouth I would trip
tongue swelling in my mouth I would trip and Bumble and stumble and I had this
and Bumble and stumble and I had this
and Bumble and stumble and I had this professor who was he would do things
professor who was he would do things
professor who was he would do things like he would tell a race of racist joke
like he would tell a race of racist joke
like he would tell a race of racist joke and then half the class would laugh and
and then half the class would laugh and
and then half the class would laugh and then he’d say that was a racist joke you
then he’d say that was a racist joke you
then he’d say that was a racist joke you don’t laugh at racist jokes you have to
don’t laugh at racist jokes you have to
don’t laugh at racist jokes you have to think before you laugh and so I would
think before you laugh and so I would
think before you laugh and so I would sit there thinking like really every
sit there thinking like really every
sit there thinking like really every time he said anything I would think am I
time he said anything I would think am I
time he said anything I would think am I supposed to laugh now if I’m not
supposed to laugh now if I’m not
supposed to laugh now if I’m not supposed to laugh how does not laughing
supposed to laugh how does not laughing
supposed to laugh how does not laughing look I honestly spent much of the day in
look I honestly spent much of the day in
look I honestly spent much of the day in class thinking like do I look more
class thinking like do I look more
class thinking like do I look more racist if I cross my legs this way or if
racist if I cross my legs this way or if
racist if I cross my legs this way or if I cross my legs this way and it was all
I cross my legs this way and it was all
I cross my legs this way and it was all this very self-focused analysis trying
this very self-focused analysis trying
this very self-focused analysis trying to figure out how do I show up here I
to figure out how do I show up here I
to figure out how do I show up here I have no practice being in this
have no practice being in this
have no practice being in this conversation that semester we read 14
conversation that semester we read 14
conversation that semester we read 14 novels by african-american authors and
novels by african-american authors and
novels by african-american authors and by the end of the semester I had learned
by the end of the semester I had learned
by the end of the semester I had learned two really important things that have
two really important things that have
two really important things that have stayed with me for my life one is that
stayed with me for my life one is that
stayed with me for my life one is that racism has impacted every day of this
racism has impacted every day of this
racism has impacted every day of this country since the first colonists
country since the first colonists
country since the first colonists stepped foot on the shores of the United
stepped foot on the shores of the United
stepped foot on the shores of the United States which was not then the United
States which was not then the United
States which was not then the United States we call them colonists because
States we call them colonists because
States we call them colonists because that word is linked to the word
that word is linked to the word
that word is linked to the word colonizer racism is a huge part of our
colonizer racism is a huge part of our
colonizer racism is a huge part of our history and whiteness is not incidental
history and whiteness is not incidental
history and whiteness is not incidental to who I am as a white person it’s not
to who I am as a white person it’s not
to who I am as a white person it’s not just a peripheral piece whiteness is
just a peripheral piece whiteness is
just a peripheral piece whiteness is integral to who I am and who my
integral to who I am and who my
integral to who I am and who my ancestors are racism has impacted my
ancestors are racism has impacted my
ancestors are racism has impacted my life every day of my life
life every day of my life
life every day of my life and since before I was born my ancestors
and since before I was born my ancestors
and since before I was born my ancestors are part of that history of colonization
are part of that history of colonization
are part of that history of colonization my ancestors who immigrated here were
my ancestors who immigrated here were
my ancestors who immigrated here were allowed to immigrate in part because of
allowed to immigrate in part because of
allowed to immigrate in part because of their whiteness my ancestors were able
their whiteness my ancestors were able
their whiteness my ancestors were able to get jobs we’re able to join unions
to get jobs we’re able to join unions
to get jobs we’re able to join unions were able to bust unions because of
were able to bust unions because of
were able to bust unions because of their whiteness they were counted in the
their whiteness they were counted in the
their whiteness they were counted in the founding document of our country the
founding document of our country the
founding document of our country the Constitution my ancestors were counted
Constitution my ancestors were counted
Constitution my ancestors were counted as whole people black people were
as whole people black people were
as whole people black people were counted as three-fifths of a person
counted as three-fifths of a person
counted as three-fifths of a person that’s part of the founding document of
that’s part of the founding document of
that’s part of the founding document of our country that not every person would
our country that not every person would
our country that not every person would be whole
be whole
be whole in this country that whiteness has
in this country that whiteness has
in this country that whiteness has impacted my life my community my my
impacted my life my community my my
impacted my life my community my my segregated community that I thought was
segregated community that I thought was
segregated community that I thought was integrated white communities all white
integrated white communities all white
integrated white communities all white communities don’t happen by accident but
communities don’t happen by accident but
communities don’t happen by accident but I didn’t know about the legislation and
I didn’t know about the legislation and
I didn’t know about the legislation and the policy and the banking strategies
the policy and the banking strategies
the policy and the banking strategies and mortgage lending practices and
and mortgage lending practices and
and mortgage lending practices and individual violence that went into
individual violence that went into
individual violence that went into preserving the whiteness of all white
preserving the whiteness of all white
preserving the whiteness of all white communities that likely happened before
communities that likely happened before
communities that likely happened before I was even born
I was even born
I was even born but that impacted the fact that I went
but that impacted the fact that I went
but that impacted the fact that I went to a school that was considered safe
to a school that was considered safe
to a school that was considered safe that was considered a Blue Ribbon School
that was considered a Blue Ribbon School
that was considered a Blue Ribbon School and from which I could go to college and
and from which I could go to college and
and from which I could go to college and my parents could pay for my college
my parents could pay for my college
my parents could pay for my college because of the housing market that we
because of the housing market that we
because of the housing market that we were able to buy into because of our
were able to buy into because of our
were able to buy into because of our whiteness whiteness was integral to my
whiteness whiteness was integral to my
whiteness whiteness was integral to my life the second lesson that I learned in
life the second lesson that I learned in
life the second lesson that I learned in african-american literature is that I
african-american literature is that I
african-american literature is that I can get better at talking about race at
can get better at talking about race at
can get better at talking about race at the beginning of that semester I was so
the beginning of that semester I was so
the beginning of that semester I was so bad at talking about race and by the end
bad at talking about race and by the end
bad at talking about race and by the end of that semester I was still so bad at
of that semester I was still so bad at
of that semester I was still so bad at talking about race but I was better than
talking about race but I was better than
talking about race but I was better than I had been and I could see the way that
I had been and I could see the way that
I had been and I could see the way that practice made it possible for me to get
practice made it possible for me to get
practice made it possible for me to get better that this is a skills based
better that this is a skills based
better that this is a skills based competency and that I can grow and so I
competency and that I can grow and so I
competency and that I can grow and so I went on to take every class I could with
went on to take every class I could with
went on to take every class I could with that Professor I became an Africana
that Professor I became an Africana
that Professor I became an Africana Studies minor I studied abroad in South
Studies minor I studied abroad in South
Studies minor I studied abroad in South Africa and when I was in South Africa I
Africa and when I was in South Africa I
Africa and when I was in South Africa I met a black feminist
met a black feminist
met a black feminist South African activist named Gertrude
South African activist named Gertrude
South African activist named Gertrude knows what Ghazi squint – and she asked
knows what Ghazi squint – and she asked
knows what Ghazi squint – and she asked me to like write her life story so after
me to like write her life story so after
me to like write her life story so after college I spent two years working with
college I spent two years working with
college I spent two years working with her recording the stories of her life
her recording the stories of her life
her recording the stories of her life and how racialized policy had impacted
and how racialized policy had impacted
and how racialized policy had impacted her as a black child growing up in
her as a black child growing up in
her as a black child growing up in apartheid South Africa and through that
apartheid South Africa and through that
apartheid South Africa and through that relationship and through that project I
relationship and through that project I
relationship and through that project I started to get angry I was so angry
started to get angry I was so angry
started to get angry I was so angry about racism and I was uncomfortable and
about racism and I was uncomfortable and
about racism and I was uncomfortable and ashamed of being white and I was sad and
ashamed of being white and I was sad and
ashamed of being white and I was sad and I felt guilt and then I decided what I’m
I felt guilt and then I decided what I’m
I felt guilt and then I decided what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna show up to the
gonna do is I’m gonna show up to the
gonna do is I’m gonna show up to the table of racial conversations and I’m
table of racial conversations and I’m
table of racial conversations and I’m gonna feel guilty that’s what I can do
gonna feel guilty that’s what I can do
gonna feel guilty that’s what I can do for racial justice I’m gonna feel guilty
for racial justice I’m gonna feel guilty
for racial justice I’m gonna feel guilty whenever possible I’m gonna make all the
whenever possible I’m gonna make all the
whenever possible I’m gonna make all the other white people feel guilty and
other white people feel guilty and
other white people feel guilty and that’s what I’m gonna do and what I
that’s what I’m gonna do and what I
that’s what I’m gonna do and what I found was that I would see people on the
found was that I would see people on the
found was that I would see people on the street who’d been in my classes or who
street who’d been in my classes or who
street who’d been in my classes or who I’d had conversations with and they they
I’d had conversations with and they they
I’d had conversations with and they they kind of duck into stores at the last
kind of duck into stores at the last
kind of duck into stores at the last minute so they didn’t have to see me
minute so they didn’t have to see me
minute so they didn’t have to see me coming and there was a moment where I
coming and there was a moment where I
coming and there was a moment where I just thought this has not been a victory
just thought this has not been a victory
just thought this has not been a victory for racial justice the way that I’m
for racial justice the way that I’m
for racial justice the way that I’m doing this is not working I need to
doing this is not working I need to
doing this is not working I need to recalibrate and about that time I read a
recalibrate and about that time I read a
recalibrate and about that time I read a book by a black psychologist Janet Helms
book by a black psychologist Janet Helms
book by a black psychologist Janet Helms who writes about the importance of a
who writes about the importance of a
who writes about the importance of a positive racial identity and she says
positive racial identity and she says
positive racial identity and she says white people need to get a positive
white people need to get a positive
white people need to get a positive racial identity and I remember thinking
racial identity and I remember thinking
racial identity and I remember thinking what is a positive racial idea how can I
what is a positive racial idea how can I
what is a positive racial idea how can I have a positive racial identity I’m
have a positive racial identity I’m
have a positive racial identity I’m light you know
light you know
light you know just feeling good about being white
just feeling good about being white
just feeling good about being white because you’re white that sounds too
because you’re white that sounds too
because you’re white that sounds too like some white supremacist stuff and
like some white supremacist stuff and
like some white supremacist stuff and Janet Helms writes yes a positive racial
Janet Helms writes yes a positive racial
Janet Helms writes yes a positive racial identity for white people is not about
identity for white people is not about
identity for white people is not about just feeling good about being white
just feeling good about being white
just feeling good about being white because you’re white that’s some white
because you’re white that’s some white
because you’re white that’s some white supremacist stuff a positive racial
supremacist stuff a positive racial
supremacist stuff a positive racial identity is not about feeling good about
identity is not about feeling good about
identity is not about feeling good about being white it’s also not about feeling
being white it’s also not about feeling
being white it’s also not about feeling bad about being white it’s about
bad about being white it’s about
bad about being white it’s about understanding what it means to be white
understanding what it means to be white
understanding what it means to be white in the context of a heavily racially
in the context of a heavily racially
in the context of a heavily racially racialized society that has historically
racialized society that has historically
racialized society that has historically and still today distributes resources
and still today distributes resources
and still today distributes resources and opportunities in equitably favoring
and opportunities in equitably favoring
and opportunities in equitably favoring white people against people of color
white people against people of color
white people against people of color understanding what it means to live in a
understanding what it means to live in a
understanding what it means to live in a society that teaches people of color
society that teaches people of color
society that teaches people of color internalized oppression and teaches
internalized oppression and teaches
internalized oppression and teaches white people internalize superiority and
white people internalize superiority and
white people internalize superiority and dealing with that sense of internalized
dealing with that sense of internalized
dealing with that sense of internalized superiority so that I can show up and be
superiority so that I can show up and be
superiority so that I can show up and be and live in healthy multiracial
and live in healthy multiracial
and live in healthy multiracial community with people of color in which
community with people of color in which
community with people of color in which we work against racism and other
we work against racism and other
we work against racism and other oppressions knowing that all oppressions
oppressions knowing that all oppressions
oppressions knowing that all oppressions are connected that’s what having a
are connected that’s what having a
are connected that’s what having a positive racial identity is for a white
positive racial identity is for a white
positive racial identity is for a white person a negative racial identity is
person a negative racial identity is
person a negative racial identity is what I had when I was growing up a
what I had when I was growing up a
what I had when I was growing up a negative enter a tional identity is not
negative enter a tional identity is not
negative enter a tional identity is not about feeling bad for being white it’s
about feeling bad for being white it’s
about feeling bad for being white it’s about having no consciousness that being
about having no consciousness that being
about having no consciousness that being white has impacted your life
white has impacted your life
white has impacted your life it’s about attempting to be colorblind
it’s about attempting to be colorblind
it’s about attempting to be colorblind and not seeing how racism operates it’s
and not seeing how racism operates it’s
and not seeing how racism operates it’s a negative a negative racial identity is
a negative a negative racial identity is
a negative a negative racial identity is necessarily a delusional identity
necessarily a delusional identity
necessarily a delusional identity because there are so many
because there are so many
because there are so many racial myths and stereotypes that
racial myths and stereotypes that
racial myths and stereotypes that circulate in our society if you don’t
circulate in our society if you don’t
circulate in our society if you don’t have the lens that’s able to see that’s
have the lens that’s able to see that’s
have the lens that’s able to see that’s a myth that’s alive that’s a stereotype
a myth that’s alive that’s a stereotype
a myth that’s alive that’s a stereotype you believe them and it clouds your lens
you believe them and it clouds your lens
you believe them and it clouds your lens and so you’re unable to see the world
and so you’re unable to see the world
and so you’re unable to see the world clearly so I became very interested in
clearly so I became very interested in
clearly so I became very interested in figuring out at one point how do you
figuring out at one point how do you
figuring out at one point how do you talk to white kids about race because I
talk to white kids about race because I
talk to white kids about race because I was pregnant with my first child and I
was pregnant with my first child and I
was pregnant with my first child and I part of my work involved standing on
part of my work involved standing on
part of my work involved standing on stages and talking about how badly my
stages and talking about how badly my
stages and talking about how badly my parents had taught me about race and I
parents had taught me about race and I
parents had taught me about race and I you know that’s very easy to say well
you know that’s very easy to say well
you know that’s very easy to say well look at what my parents got wrong what
look at what my parents got wrong what
look at what my parents got wrong what am I supposed to teach my daughter I had
am I supposed to teach my daughter I had
am I supposed to teach my daughter I had this experience and Target when she was
this experience and Target when she was
this experience and Target when she was a baby and we’re just going through the
a baby and we’re just going through the
a baby and we’re just going through the aisles and she has white white hair and
aisles and she has white white hair and
aisles and she has white white hair and blue eyes and people were always
blue eyes and people were always
blue eyes and people were always stopping me to say oh she looks like
stopping me to say oh she looks like
stopping me to say oh she looks like such a dull baby and one day I just
such a dull baby and one day I just
such a dull baby and one day I just snapped she was about eight months old
snapped she was about eight months old
snapped she was about eight months old and I said you know what the reason my
and I said you know what the reason my
and I said you know what the reason my baby looks like a doll baby is because
baby looks like a doll baby is because
baby looks like a doll baby is because we live in a white supremacist society
we live in a white supremacist society
we live in a white supremacist society in which all the doll babies have blonde
in which all the doll babies have blonde
in which all the doll babies have blonde hair and blue eyes if we could live in a
hair and blue eyes if we could live in a
hair and blue eyes if we could live in a society in which we could honor and
society in which we could honor and
society in which we could honor and acknowledge the multiplicity and
acknowledge the multiplicity and
acknowledge the multiplicity and diversity of skin colors and hair
diversity of skin colors and hair
diversity of skin colors and hair textures and the beauty of humanity then
textures and the beauty of humanity then
textures and the beauty of humanity then maybe my baby wouldn’t look so much like
maybe my baby wouldn’t look so much like
maybe my baby wouldn’t look so much like you doll baby and maybe she would just
you doll baby and maybe she would just
you doll baby and maybe she would just look like a regular old baby
okay so it makes a good story but the
okay so it makes a good story but the woman just looked at me you know and I
woman just looked at me you know and I
woman just looked at me you know and I looked at her and I remember thinking
looked at her and I remember thinking
looked at her and I remember thinking this too has not been a victory for
this too has not been a victory for
this too has not been a victory for racial justice so with a research team
racial justice so with a research team
racial justice so with a research team that I had worked with throughout grad
that I had worked with throughout grad
that I had worked with throughout grad school involving Howard Stevenson and
school involving Howard Stevenson and
school involving Howard Stevenson and Keisha Bentley Edwards and Eleanor
Keisha Bentley Edwards and Eleanor
Keisha Bentley Edwards and Eleanor Bartoli we started looking into how
Bartoli we started looking into how
Bartoli we started looking into how white families talk to their kids about
white families talk to their kids about
white families talk to their kids about race and the amazing thing is that what
race and the amazing thing is that what
race and the amazing thing is that what we found is that most of the families we
we found is that most of the families we
we found is that most of the families we interviewed in the teens that we
interviewed in the teens that we
interviewed in the teens that we interviewed talked to their children
interviewed talked to their children
interviewed talked to their children about race the same way that my parents
about race the same way that my parents
about race the same way that my parents did they don’t teach them anything about
did they don’t teach them anything about
did they don’t teach them anything about whiteness whiteness is incidental to who
whiteness whiteness is incidental to who
whiteness whiteness is incidental to who they are it doesn’t matter racism is bad
they are it doesn’t matter racism is bad
they are it doesn’t matter racism is bad but racism is also a violent individual
but racism is also a violent individual
but racism is also a violent individual action on the part of a self-declared
action on the part of a self-declared
action on the part of a self-declared racist like as somebody from the KKK
racist like as somebody from the KKK
racist like as somebody from the KKK there’s no talk of the systems and the
there’s no talk of the systems and the
there’s no talk of the systems and the history of racism that was in place
history of racism that was in place
history of racism that was in place before any of the children that we’re
before any of the children that we’re
before any of the children that we’re even interviewing were born people are
even interviewing were born people are
even interviewing were born people are learning that they should be colorblind
learning that they should be colorblind
learning that they should be colorblind that they shouldn’t talk about race that
that they shouldn’t talk about race that
that they shouldn’t talk about race that talking about race is racist but one of
talking about race is racist but one of
talking about race is racist but one of the things that I’ve been learning is
the things that I’ve been learning is
the things that I’ve been learning is that when we don’t talk about race what
that when we don’t talk about race what
that when we don’t talk about race what we do is we make it possible for the
we do is we make it possible for the
we do is we make it possible for the status quo to exist how it is
status quo to exist how it is
status quo to exist how it is we can’t rectify any of these historical
we can’t rectify any of these historical
we can’t rectify any of these historical wrongs if we’re not able to talk about
wrongs if we’re not able to talk about
wrongs if we’re not able to talk about it so I continue to search for answers
it so I continue to search for answers
it so I continue to search for answers for how I talk to white people about
for how I talk to white people about
for how I talk to white people about race and how I talk to my children about
race and how I talk to my children about
race and how I talk to my children about race a couple years ago my daughter who
race a couple years ago my daughter who
race a couple years ago my daughter who she was five two years ago she decided
she was five two years ago she decided
she was five two years ago she decided she wanted to dye her hair purple and
she wanted to dye her hair purple and
she wanted to dye her hair purple and I’m thinking this sounds good to me
I’m thinking this sounds good to me
I’m thinking this sounds good to me so I was talking to my friend Gertrude
so I was talking to my friend Gertrude
so I was talking to my friend Gertrude from South Africa on the phone we talked
from South Africa on the phone we talked
from South Africa on the phone we talked every couple weeks and and I said so
every couple weeks and and I said so
every couple weeks and and I said so Tina wants to dye her hair purple and
Tina wants to dye her hair purple and
Tina wants to dye her hair purple and Gertrude said how interesting what do
Gertrude said how interesting what do
Gertrude said how interesting what do you think and I said I think it seems
you think and I said I think it seems
you think and I said I think it seems good I think it seems like a healthy
good I think it seems like a healthy
good I think it seems like a healthy detachment from her blondeness anchor
detachment from her blondeness anchor
detachment from her blondeness anchor tree said what you say and I should have
tree said what you say and I should have
tree said what you say and I should have known that I was in trouble the minute
known that I was in trouble the minute
known that I was in trouble the minute she asked me to repeat myself I should
she asked me to repeat myself I should
she asked me to repeat myself I should have known but I thought it was a bad
have known but I thought it was a bad
have known but I thought it was a bad connection so I’m like I think
connection so I’m like I think
connection so I’m like I think it’s a healthy detachment from her
it’s a healthy detachment from her
it’s a healthy detachment from her blondness and Gertrude’s like yeah I
blondness and Gertrude’s like yeah I
blondness and Gertrude’s like yeah I thought that’s what you said and she
thought that’s what you said and she
thought that’s what you said and she said listen to me Ali your daughter was
said listen to me Ali your daughter was
said listen to me Ali your daughter was made by her creator blond hair blue eyes
made by her creator blond hair blue eyes
made by her creator blond hair blue eyes light skin pink cheeks that is her
light skin pink cheeks that is her
light skin pink cheeks that is her vessel how is she supposed to repair the
vessel how is she supposed to repair the
vessel how is she supposed to repair the world if she’s broken if she’s detached
world if she’s broken if she’s detached
world if she’s broken if she’s detached from any part of who she is how she’s
from any part of who she is how she’s
from any part of who she is how she’s supposed to love people if she could get
supposed to love people if she could get
supposed to love people if she could get if she’s not fully loved how is she
if she’s not fully loved how is she
if she’s not fully loved how is she supposed to show up and have other
supposed to show up and have other
supposed to show up and have other people become whole if she doesn’t feel
people become whole if she doesn’t feel
people become whole if she doesn’t feel whole herself and I know that she’s
whole herself and I know that she’s
whole herself and I know that she’s right and her words guide me in the work
right and her words guide me in the work
right and her words guide me in the work that I do when I think about talking to
that I do when I think about talking to
that I do when I think about talking to my children when I think about talking
my children when I think about talking
my children when I think about talking with teachers and in communities what is
with teachers and in communities what is
with teachers and in communities what is the point of talking about race and
the point of talking about race and
the point of talking about race and racism the point is to see the way that
racism the point is to see the way that
racism the point is to see the way that racism has fractured us as a country as
racism has fractured us as a country as
racism has fractured us as a country as a community as individuals and to work
a community as individuals and to work
a community as individuals and to work to repair and heal those fractures in
to repair and heal those fractures in
to repair and heal those fractures in multiracial solidarity in community to
multiracial solidarity in community to
multiracial solidarity in community to build a world in which race truly
build a world in which race truly
build a world in which race truly doesn’t matter but not because we refuse
doesn’t matter but not because we refuse
doesn’t matter but not because we refuse to see it not because we were colorblind
to see it not because we were colorblind
to see it not because we were colorblind not because we turned away but but
not because we turned away but but
not because we turned away but but because we looked at that historical
because we looked at that historical
because we looked at that historical legacy and we stared it right in the eye
legacy and we stared it right in the eye
legacy and we stared it right in the eye and we examined what it did to us and
and we examined what it did to us and
and we examined what it did to us and then we work together in community to
then we work together in community to
then we work together in community to fix it and I think that that could be a
fix it and I think that that could be a
fix it and I think that that could be a victory for racial justice thank you
victory for racial justice thank you
victory for racial justice thank you [Applause]
”
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