my name is arena Boyd as he mentioned and I’m here to discuss the five
and I’m here to discuss the five
and I’m here to discuss the five obstacles that hold divorced mothers
obstacles that hold divorced mothers
obstacles that hold divorced mothers back from progressing financially and
back from progressing financially and
back from progressing financially and how I went from a mother of three to a
how I went from a mother of three to a
how I went from a mother of three to a money management consultant I graduated
money management consultant I graduated
money management consultant I graduated in 2009 with an MBA it was at that
in 2009 with an MBA it was at that
in 2009 with an MBA it was at that pivotal time when the American economy
pivotal time when the American economy
pivotal time when the American economy had stumbled as my professors were to
had stumbled as my professors were to
had stumbled as my professors were to warn my graduating class it was going to
warn my graduating class it was going to
warn my graduating class it was going to be a tough time to find a job in fact it
be a tough time to find a job in fact it
be a tough time to find a job in fact it took me nearly a year to find one but I
took me nearly a year to find one but I
took me nearly a year to find one but I was among the fortunate ones I had a
was among the fortunate ones I had a
was among the fortunate ones I had a former career to fall back on and I had
former career to fall back on and I had
former career to fall back on and I had just published my first academic paper
just published my first academic paper
just published my first academic paper before graduating but I still faced
before graduating but I still faced
before graduating but I still faced several obstacles I was an older adult
several obstacles I was an older adult
several obstacles I was an older adult returning to the workforce as a
returning to the workforce as a
returning to the workforce as a full-time working mother I didn’t have a
full-time working mother I didn’t have a
full-time working mother I didn’t have a business background and my marriage was
business background and my marriage was
business background and my marriage was falling apart but I kept at it until I
falling apart but I kept at it until I
falling apart but I kept at it until I landed my first corporate job that
landed my first corporate job that
landed my first corporate job that lasted five years which is impressive
lasted five years which is impressive
lasted five years which is impressive for corporate standards and if you’ve
for corporate standards and if you’ve
for corporate standards and if you’ve ever worked that one you understand why
ever worked that one you understand why
ever worked that one you understand why it was at this time that I published my
it was at this time that I published my
it was at this time that I published my first book financial literacy for women
first book financial literacy for women
first book financial literacy for women to expose them to their dire
to expose them to their dire
to expose them to their dire circumstances with saving and investing
circumstances with saving and investing
circumstances with saving and investing then I started it was my way of applying
then I started it was my way of applying
then I started it was my way of applying what I was learning because even though
what I was learning because even though
what I was learning because even though I had those business school degrees I
I had those business school degrees I
I had those business school degrees I didn’t know how to manage my own money
didn’t know how to manage my own money
didn’t know how to manage my own money through my work I met women from all
through my work I met women from all
through my work I met women from all over who were going through divorce
over who were going through divorce
over who were going through divorce these were women who at one time held
these were women who at one time held
these were women who at one time held jobs in engineering and management but
jobs in engineering and management but
jobs in engineering and management but left the workforce to raise their kids
left the workforce to raise their kids
left the workforce to raise their kids now they were facing divorce and they
now they were facing divorce and they
now they were facing divorce and they were just as scared as I was through my
were just as scared as I was through my
were just as scared as I was through my work with them I discovered that
work with them I discovered that
work with them I discovered that although we came from different
although we came from different
although we came from different backgrounds we had so much in common
backgrounds we had so much in common
backgrounds we had so much in common we had relied on our spouses incomes but
we had relied on our spouses incomes but
we had relied on our spouses incomes but now we were starting over financially
now we were starting over financially
now we were starting over financially even though we didn’t know where or how
even though we didn’t know where or how
even though we didn’t know where or how to start
to start
to start we had left to work force years ago
we had left to work force years ago
we had left to work force years ago we’re starting on new careers but we
we’re starting on new careers but we
we’re starting on new careers but we weren’t earning enough to afford a
weren’t earning enough to afford a
weren’t earning enough to afford a household so I published my second book
household so I published my second book
household so I published my second book starting over a practical guide for
starting over a practical guide for
starting over a practical guide for women after a money crisis to reach out
women after a money crisis to reach out
women after a money crisis to reach out to others like me and as I continued to
to others like me and as I continued to
to others like me and as I continued to work on behalf of these women I look for
work on behalf of these women I look for
work on behalf of these women I look for newer ways to help them I’m pleased to
newer ways to help them I’m pleased to
newer ways to help them I’m pleased to say that I’m doing well three years down
say that I’m doing well three years down
say that I’m doing well three years down the road I’ve learned to manage my money
the road I’ve learned to manage my money
the road I’ve learned to manage my money and to save enough to sustain me now and
and to save enough to sustain me now and
and to save enough to sustain me now and in retirement I even bought my kids a
in retirement I even bought my kids a
in retirement I even bought my kids a new home but that’s not the case for 8.3
new home but that’s not the case for 8.3
new home but that’s not the case for 8.3 million single working mothers out there
million single working mothers out there
million single working mothers out there who on average earn $24,000 per year
who on average earn $24,000 per year
who on average earn $24,000 per year that is below the poverty level and
that is below the poverty level and
that is below the poverty level and there’s plenty of Statistics out there
there’s plenty of Statistics out there
there’s plenty of Statistics out there that show why women aren’t progressing
that show why women aren’t progressing
that show why women aren’t progressing financially but I’m here to share
financially but I’m here to share
financially but I’m here to share personal stories once I’ve had with
personal stories once I’ve had with
personal stories once I’ve had with other women through my work because it’s
other women through my work because it’s
other women through my work because it’s only through these stories where the
only through these stories where the
only through these stories where the real lessons are learned
real lessons are learned
real lessons are learned I met one lady at a basketball league
I met one lady at a basketball league
I met one lady at a basketball league our daughters were playing in we first
our daughters were playing in we first
our daughters were playing in we first met understand during practice by the
met understand during practice by the
met understand during practice by the third day we were sitting by each other
third day we were sitting by each other
third day we were sitting by each other and discussing our girls
and discussing our girls
and discussing our girls turns out she once worked as an engineer
turns out she once worked as an engineer
turns out she once worked as an engineer but left the workforce to raise her two
but left the workforce to raise her two
but left the workforce to raise her two daughters one day her husband announced
daughters one day her husband announced
daughters one day her husband announced he was filing for divorce he wasn’t
he was filing for divorce he wasn’t
he was filing for divorce he wasn’t interested in reconciling or even
interested in reconciling or even
interested in reconciling or even pursuing therapy she just wasn’t the
pursuing therapy she just wasn’t the
pursuing therapy she just wasn’t the career-oriented ambitious woman she once
career-oriented ambitious woman she once
career-oriented ambitious woman she once was and he wanted out he was the sole
was and he wanted out he was the sole
was and he wanted out he was the sole breadwinner of the household as she
breadwinner of the household as she
breadwinner of the household as she spent her days tending to the house and
spent her days tending to the house and
spent her days tending to the house and driving the girls from one activity to
driving the girls from one activity to
driving the girls from one activity to another at one time she worked for an
another at one time she worked for an
another at one time she worked for an impressive company but left once her
impressive company but left once her
impressive company but left once her daughter’s activity started exhausting
daughter’s activity started exhausting
daughter’s activity started exhausting her it was tough keeping up with a
her it was tough keeping up with a
her it was tough keeping up with a demanding job and her daughter’s needs
demanding job and her daughter’s needs
demanding job and her daughter’s needs so she gave up a good salary to spend
so she gave up a good salary to spend
so she gave up a good salary to spend more time with her girls aside from her
more time with her girls aside from her
more time with her girls aside from her marriage falling apart her most
marriage falling apart her most
marriage falling apart her most devastating realization was knowing that
devastating realization was knowing that
devastating realization was knowing that she would have to give up their home her
she would have to give up their home her
she would have to give up their home her kids home within a matter of months she
kids home within a matter of months she
kids home within a matter of months she went from a comfortable living to a
went from a comfortable living to a
went from a comfortable living to a meager one having to rely on part-time
meager one having to rely on part-time
meager one having to rely on part-time jobs she managed to find through the
jobs she managed to find through the
jobs she managed to find through the grace of family and friends on our last
grace of family and friends on our last
grace of family and friends on our last day on those stands I cried as she
day on those stands I cried as she
day on those stands I cried as she related her ordeal once an outgoing
related her ordeal once an outgoing
related her ordeal once an outgoing woman with an infectious smile she
woman with an infectious smile she
woman with an infectious smile she became withdrawn with the look of strain
became withdrawn with the look of strain
became withdrawn with the look of strain sealed on her face that I never seen
sealed on her face that I never seen
sealed on her face that I never seen before when we spoke she wasn’t despair
before when we spoke she wasn’t despair
before when we spoke she wasn’t despair but hopeful that her faith and community
but hopeful that her faith and community
but hopeful that her faith and community would sustain her she managed to find
would sustain her she managed to find
would sustain her she managed to find her first job at a nursing home working
her first job at a nursing home working
her first job at a nursing home working as an office aide earning minimum wage
as an office aide earning minimum wage
as an office aide earning minimum wage it wasn’t enough to pay for rent she
it wasn’t enough to pay for rent she
it wasn’t enough to pay for rent she then moved on to another job that was
then moved on to another job that was
then moved on to another job that was nowhere near the skill set or experience
nowhere near the skill set or experience
nowhere near the skill set or experience she once held again she settled for
she once held again she settled for
she once held again she settled for minimum wage after a few years she found
minimum wage after a few years she found
minimum wage after a few years she found her way in the education system at a
her way in the education system at a
her way in the education system at a time when teachers aides were in demand
time when teachers aides were in demand
time when teachers aides were in demand last I spoke to her she was taking a few
last I spoke to her she was taking a few
last I spoke to her she was taking a few classes to qualify for a better position
classes to qualify for a better position
classes to qualify for a better position and salary within the public school
and salary within the public school
and salary within the public school system several years down the road her
system several years down the road her
system several years down the road her final words to me were it’s getting
final words to me were it’s getting
final words to me were it’s getting better I met another lady while offering
better I met another lady while offering
better I met another lady while offering financial literacy classes at a local
financial literacy classes at a local
financial literacy classes at a local shelter she had three kids and was
shelter she had three kids and was
shelter she had three kids and was hiding from an abusive husband she was a
hiding from an abusive husband she was a
hiding from an abusive husband she was a fiery woman with a keen intelligence
fiery woman with a keen intelligence
fiery woman with a keen intelligence rare for a woman of her background she
rare for a woman of her background she
rare for a woman of her background she knew what she wanted and she went after
knew what she wanted and she went after
knew what she wanted and she went after it only her lack of education and
it only her lack of education and
it only her lack of education and financial stability held her back she
financial stability held her back she
financial stability held her back she packed her bags and grabbed her kids one
packed her bags and grabbed her kids one
packed her bags and grabbed her kids one day when an altercation with her husband
day when an altercation with her husband
day when an altercation with her husband became too dangerous it was the final
became too dangerous it was the final
became too dangerous it was the final straw when I first met her she had been
straw when I first met her she had been
straw when I first met her she had been at the shelter for about
at the shelter for about
at the shelter for about year her time was coming up and she had
year her time was coming up and she had
year her time was coming up and she had to transition to a normal living outside
to transition to a normal living outside
to transition to a normal living outside the shelter so she found a job at an
the shelter so she found a job at an
the shelter so she found a job at an accounting firm and was even thinking of
accounting firm and was even thinking of
accounting firm and was even thinking of pursuing an accounting degree only the
pursuing an accounting degree only the
pursuing an accounting degree only the aging car she owned was getting too
aging car she owned was getting too
aging car she owned was getting too expensive to maintain and she couldn’t
expensive to maintain and she couldn’t
expensive to maintain and she couldn’t afford another it was tough pursuing
afford another it was tough pursuing
afford another it was tough pursuing your big goals when you can’t afford to
your big goals when you can’t afford to
your big goals when you can’t afford to drive to them add to that the impending
drive to them add to that the impending
drive to them add to that the impending expenses of paying for rent and taking
expenses of paying for rent and taking
expenses of paying for rent and taking care of a household outside the security
care of a household outside the security
care of a household outside the security of the shelter on our last class the
of the shelter on our last class the
of the shelter on our last class the director was trying to guarantee a
director was trying to guarantee a
director was trying to guarantee a donated car from a partner group I never
donated car from a partner group I never
donated car from a partner group I never found out what happened to this woman
found out what happened to this woman
found out what happened to this woman after that day or her three children but
after that day or her three children but
after that day or her three children but I do still think of them from time to
I do still think of them from time to
I do still think of them from time to time and wish them the best of luck
time and wish them the best of luck
time and wish them the best of luck these are just two examples of women who
these are just two examples of women who
these are just two examples of women who have had to scrape and save after
have had to scrape and save after
have had to scrape and save after leaving their spouses to rebuild their
leaving their spouses to rebuild their
leaving their spouses to rebuild their lives through their experiences and the
lives through their experiences and the
lives through their experiences and the experiences of other women like them I
experiences of other women like them I
experiences of other women like them I discovered five obstacles that hold
discovered five obstacles that hold
discovered five obstacles that hold women back financially one low pay not
women back financially one low pay not
women back financially one low pay not only our women paid less than men but
only our women paid less than men but
only our women paid less than men but they’re paid less despite having the
they’re paid less despite having the
they’re paid less despite having the same education and skills to quality
same education and skills to quality
same education and skills to quality care it’s just too expensive to afford
care it’s just too expensive to afford
care it’s just too expensive to afford quality care three lack of savings most
quality care three lack of savings most
quality care three lack of savings most single mothers can’t manage their own
single mothers can’t manage their own
single mothers can’t manage their own money save enough for retirement or earn
money save enough for retirement or earn
money save enough for retirement or earn enough to afford a household for
enough to afford a household for
enough to afford a household for domestic work taking care of the house
domestic work taking care of the house
domestic work taking care of the house and the children is tiring but someone
and the children is tiring but someone
and the children is tiring but someone has to do it many times it’s the women
has to do it many times it’s the women
has to do it many times it’s the women who do it alone
who do it alone
who do it alone five domestic abuse controlling
five domestic abuse controlling
five domestic abuse controlling manipulating husbands make it difficult
manipulating husbands make it difficult
manipulating husbands make it difficult to advance especially when that abuse is
to advance especially when that abuse is
to advance especially when that abuse is verbal and women are made to feel
verbal and women are made to feel
verbal and women are made to feel inferior and worthless helping women
inferior and worthless helping women
inferior and worthless helping women through the
through the
through the these challenges should not be the
these challenges should not be the
these challenges should not be the responsibility of the government and
responsibility of the government and
responsibility of the government and advocates alone each one of you can help
advocates alone each one of you can help
advocates alone each one of you can help rebuild a woman’s life so that she
rebuild a woman’s life so that she
rebuild a woman’s life so that she becomes financially independent I can’t
becomes financially independent I can’t
becomes financially independent I can’t believe the number of times I’ve heard
believe the number of times I’ve heard
believe the number of times I’ve heard someone say that they sensed or even
someone say that they sensed or even
someone say that they sensed or even knew that a woman was in some kind of
knew that a woman was in some kind of
knew that a woman was in some kind of trouble but chose not to intervene
trouble but chose not to intervene
trouble but chose not to intervene because that’s what good neighbors and
because that’s what good neighbors and
because that’s what good neighbors and busy people do they mind their own
busy people do they mind their own
busy people do they mind their own business
business
business but what we’re forgetting is that a
but what we’re forgetting is that a
but what we’re forgetting is that a woman in financial need becomes a
woman in financial need becomes a
woman in financial need becomes a financial burden on us all somewhere
financial burden on us all somewhere
financial burden on us all somewhere down the road if a single mother is not
down the road if a single mother is not
down the road if a single mother is not progressing financially she and her kids
progressing financially she and her kids
progressing financially she and her kids become slaves to government assistance
become slaves to government assistance
become slaves to government assistance which comes out of your pockets if any
which comes out of your pockets if any
which comes out of your pockets if any woman is in physical danger she becomes
woman is in physical danger she becomes
woman is in physical danger she becomes a warden two shelters already strapped
a warden two shelters already strapped
a warden two shelters already strapped in from the lack of grants and dwindling
in from the lack of grants and dwindling
in from the lack of grants and dwindling donations that’s if she walks away if
donations that’s if she walks away if
donations that’s if she walks away if she stays medical costs that stem from
she stays medical costs that stem from
she stays medical costs that stem from her treatment become a burden on us all
her treatment become a burden on us all
her treatment become a burden on us all especially if she doesn’t have health
especially if she doesn’t have health
especially if she doesn’t have health insurance here’s what we can do to help
insurance here’s what we can do to help
insurance here’s what we can do to help speak up to your politicians your
speak up to your politicians your
speak up to your politicians your co-workers your family and friends don’t
co-workers your family and friends don’t
co-workers your family and friends don’t forget to speak up when you’re out with
forget to speak up when you’re out with
forget to speak up when you’re out with your boys speak up against the friend
your boys speak up against the friend
your boys speak up against the friend who shoves his wife who cheats on her
who shoves his wife who cheats on her
who shoves his wife who cheats on her and lies to her someday it could be your
and lies to her someday it could be your
and lies to her someday it could be your daughter speak up at home at work or any
daughter speak up at home at work or any
daughter speak up at home at work or any time the opportunity arises where you
time the opportunity arises where you
time the opportunity arises where you can speak up for what’s right and if
can speak up for what’s right and if
can speak up for what’s right and if speaking up puts you in harm’s way take
speaking up puts you in harm’s way take
speaking up puts you in harm’s way take that extra step and report the incident
that extra step and report the incident
that extra step and report the incident to the right authorities you can also
to the right authorities you can also
to the right authorities you can also use your influence believe it or not we
use your influence believe it or not we
use your influence believe it or not we all have a little influence to change a
all have a little influence to change a
all have a little influence to change a needy woman’s life regardless where we
needy woman’s life regardless where we
needy woman’s life regardless where we stand in the chain of command or
stand in the chain of command or
stand in the chain of command or economic and social ladders if you’re
economic and social ladders if you’re
economic and social ladders if you’re the boss hire and pay women their worth
the boss hire and pay women their worth
the boss hire and pay women their worth extend equal opportunities to them
extend equal opportunities to them
extend equal opportunities to them and the option to balance life and work
and the option to balance life and work
and the option to balance life and work it can be as simple as understanding
it can be as simple as understanding
it can be as simple as understanding their need to take a few hours off to
their need to take a few hours off to
their need to take a few hours off to take care of their personal
take care of their personal
take care of their personal responsibilities make it a genuine
responsibilities make it a genuine
responsibilities make it a genuine effort to help and not a lip-service
effort to help and not a lip-service
effort to help and not a lip-service incentive to make yourself and your
incentive to make yourself and your
incentive to make yourself and your company look good if you have political
company look good if you have political
company look good if you have political connections advocate for equal pay and
connections advocate for equal pay and
connections advocate for equal pay and against domestic violence learn the
against domestic violence learn the
against domestic violence learn the signs of domestic abuse we’ve all been
signs of domestic abuse we’ve all been
signs of domestic abuse we’ve all been there when we sense that a woman is
there when we sense that a woman is
there when we sense that a woman is being mistreated or abused when in doubt
being mistreated or abused when in doubt
being mistreated or abused when in doubt use your intuition report your hunches
use your intuition report your hunches
use your intuition report your hunches even if they’re wrong they it may save a
even if they’re wrong they it may save a
even if they’re wrong they it may save a life or change the course of a child’s
life or change the course of a child’s
life or change the course of a child’s life for the better if you’re a parent
life for the better if you’re a parent
life for the better if you’re a parent teach your children the importance of
teach your children the importance of
teach your children the importance of respecting and supporting each other
respecting and supporting each other
respecting and supporting each other equally as human beings and not just
equally as human beings and not just
equally as human beings and not just because they are male or female genuine
because they are male or female genuine
because they are male or female genuine mutual respect is key to building future
mutual respect is key to building future
mutual respect is key to building future relationships with peers and intimate
relationships with peers and intimate
relationships with peers and intimate partners more importantly stop making
partners more importantly stop making
partners more importantly stop making excuses boys will not always be boys we
excuses boys will not always be boys we
excuses boys will not always be boys we should make every effort to raise
should make every effort to raise
should make every effort to raise gentlemen and finally if you’re a
gentlemen and finally if you’re a
gentlemen and finally if you’re a student take the time to learn about the
student take the time to learn about the
student take the time to learn about the challenges the single mothers face by
challenges the single mothers face by
challenges the single mothers face by writing a paper or volunteering every
writing a paper or volunteering every
writing a paper or volunteering every contribution is important no matter how
contribution is important no matter how
contribution is important no matter how small awareness and intervention are key
small awareness and intervention are key
small awareness and intervention are key and changing a woman’s life is as easy
and changing a woman’s life is as easy
and changing a woman’s life is as easy as using your resources connections and
as using your resources connections and
as using your resources connections and skills to help improve the quality of
skills to help improve the quality of
skills to help improve the quality of her life research shows that a
her life research shows that a
her life research shows that a financially independent self-sufficient
financially independent self-sufficient
financially independent self-sufficient woman is key to improving the lives and
woman is key to improving the lives and
woman is key to improving the lives and opportunities of future generations it
opportunities of future generations it
opportunities of future generations it is women who share their knowledge and
is women who share their knowledge and
is women who share their knowledge and their skills with their kids
their skills with their kids
their skills with their kids a woman who is financially empowered has
a woman who is financially empowered has
a woman who is financially empowered has the power to improve the wealth of
the power to improve the wealth of
the power to improve the wealth of nations make it your duty
nations make it your duty
nations make it your duty to be a part of that change thank you
to be a part of that change thank you
to be a part of that change thank you [Applause]
”
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